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Tag: sexual wellness

  • “The Ick” is Real: Getting Turned Off by Your Partner

    “The Ick” is Real: Getting Turned Off by Your Partner

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    Fans of the cultural phenomenon “Love Island” are well aware of the term “the ick”. For those of you who don’t partake in this hefty dose of a reality TV dating show, let’s give you some insight into what exactly the ick is. 

    You’re dating someone and you find out their favorite musical artist is the whiniest boy band from the early 2000s. Your lover always manages to get bits of whatever they’re eating stuck in their facial hair. Your long-term partner leaves dirty underwear on the floor in the bathroom when they take a shower – and takes days to pick them up. What do all these scenarios have in common? They’re all examples of the ick. 

    What is “The Ick”?

    While not clinically diagnosable, the ick is a serious ailment that can potentially alter the course of a relationship. The ick is the feeling of slight or extreme, disgust, annoyance, cringe, or grossed-outness from someone that you’re dating or in a relationship with. 

    The ick can make you go from crushing on someone to being repulsed by them in a second. This can be something small and laughable or a bigger problem that potentially changes the course of a relationship. 

    If you’ve ever experienced the ick, you know exactly what we’re talking about. It’s almost like your instincts take over, and your gut tells you “No, no. This is not it.” The ick can be physical like the way their nose hair grows (not to body shame by any means) or more mental-emotional like their sense of humor. 

    Is “The Ick” Biological?

    From a biological perspective, the ick makes sense. Whether or not you want to have babies, our physiological goal on this planet is survival and reproduction. If you have a uterus, your body’s incredible radar is looking for a sperm donor whose DNA will be the most compatible with yours, and ideally comes from a partner who can provide safety and shelter for you and your offspring.

    The ick feels like it comes from a place of intuition. Of your gut telling you “Hey buddy, this probably is not right for you.” Maybe the ick protects you from possible future scenarios where you find out that you’re not compatible with someone. 

    Now enough with the patriarchal heteronormativity. Your biological drives certainly impact your everyday behaviors. But you have free will, and the ability to zoom out and make informed decisions about your love life. The same is true for the ick. 

    “The Ick” in Dating vs Long-Term Dating

    When you think about the ick, it’s usually in the context of dating. If the ick comes up, it’s a good sign that your new dating app match will not become your new boo. While you don’t need to immediately cut someone off when the ick comes over you, this feeling can help you weed out who may or may not be a good fit for you relationship-wise. 

    It also makes sense that you would get the ick when you are getting to know someone and are looking for signs of whether or not you like them. This is a natural part of the dating process. 

    What if you get the ick with a long(ish) term partner or someone you’ve committed to? The ick feels different in these scenarios. But as people grow and change, so do their relationships, and sometimes things come up. New behaviors may surface that you find annoying, or something your partner does that you used to find endearing you now get turned off by. 

    A Case of “The Ick”: What To Do

    Your approach to the ick will be different depending on the person, and whether you’re dating or are in a relationship with them. Still, it can be confusing or jolting when these feelings come up, so what do you do when you catch the ick?

    “The Ick” in Dating

    Dating can be tricky. No matter if you’re looking for your forever partner or just someone to have fun with, underlying feelings can be triggered unexpectedly, and without warning.

    Sometimes those feelings take the form of the ick. The ick is different than just realizing you’re not into someone. It’s a primal reaction telling you that whatever this person is doing is a big no for you. 

    If you frequently experience the ick while dating it may be time for a little self-reflection. Do you often hold back in relationships or have avoidant tendencies? Do you look for reasons to be annoyed with someone in the quest for perfection in love? Which by the way, doesn’t exist – perfection that is, not love. 

    If this sounds like you, the ick may be a sort of protective mechanism that has gone too far and is now keeping you from going deeper into a potential relationship. This often comes from a fear of abandonment or rejection, and is something worth working on, possibly in therapy.

    On the other hand, the ick while dating could also be a red flag. Sometimes it’s as simple as your intuition telling you that this isn’t the right person for you, whether or not they’ve done anything “wrong” per se. 

    “The Ick” in Long-Term Relationships

    Now, what if you get the ick with your already partner? Sometimes it can come up when you’re more tired and irritable, or everyday stress is wearing on your nerves. If this is the case, have some grace with yourself and your partner. Know when you need to take care of yourself, instead of being irritated with them.

    What if your new ick with your old partner doesn’t have to do with irritability? Ask yourself if the behavior is something your partner can change, and if so, if it’s worth talking about with them. Relationships change as people grow and evolve, so as heartbreaking as it is, sometimes the ick is a result of people growing apart. 

    Some icks are normal. They’re more likely to come up when you’re tired or irritable, or when you’re feeling defensive. When it comes down to it, if you want to be with someone, you’re not going to let the small icks they give you get in the way of your relationship

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    Natasha Weiss

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  • How Do Weed, Alcohol and Smoking Affect Vaginal Chemistry? – Intimina

    How Do Weed, Alcohol and Smoking Affect Vaginal Chemistry? – Intimina

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    Substances like THC, alcohol, and nicotine can substantially alter our body and brain chemistry in various ways. What you may not have thought about is how weed, alcohol, and smoking can impact your vaginal chemistry.

    While using substances is a personal decision, it’s important to know how these decisions can impact your body and health. Here’s a breakdown of how marijuana, alcohol, and smoking can affect your vagina.

    Weed

    There have been a host of products in recent years containing CBD or THC claiming to do everything from enhance sexual pleasure to relieving menopause symptoms and vaginal infections. Cannabis molecules in cannabinoids like CBD and THC bind with our body’s endocannabinoid receptors and also interact with the body’s natural cannabinoids.

    There are many endocannabinoid receptors in the female reproductive tract, clustering most densely in the uterus but also found throughout the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and vulva. These interactions can help reduce inflammation, but can also produce dryness.

    *May* cause vaginal dryness

    Just like how weed can make your mouth dry, it can also dry out the mucus membranes in your vaginal canal. Of course, not all strains of weed will give you dry mouth (and the ones that do are the ones that potentially could cause vaginal dryness), and there hasn’t been enough research conducted to establish this phenomenon as anything more than anecdotal. 

    May help with Bacterial Vaginosis

    Bacterial vaginosis, or BV, is the overgrowth of certain bacteria in the vagina, resulting in symptoms like a fishy odor, excess discharge, itching, pain, or burning. While more research still needs to be done, cannabinoids may have various antibacterial properties that may assist with bacterial overgrowth. If you have BV, you should always consult with your doctor, but CBD at the very least doesn’t interfere with traditional treatments like boric acid.

    Alcohol

    A glass or two may help you relax before sex, but what are the affects of alcohol on your vaginal health?

    Can cause vaginal dryness

    Alcohol dehydrates your body and increases fatigue, thus also drying out the mucus membrane in your vagina. 

    Odor changes

    Excessive amounts of alcohol consumption may change the way your vagina smells. Along with promoting inflammation, the sugar in alcohol can also mess with your bacterial flora and increase the risk of infection and BV.

    Increased likelihood of Bacterial Vaginosis

    As mentioned previously, alcohol may increase the rate of bacterial vaginosis. Studies have shown that heavy drinking women of reproductive age have higher rates of BV, although the causality still needs to be further investigated. The occasional drink or two won’t mess up your vaginal pH, but the fact that alcohol consumption increases your sugar levels and promotes bacterial growth means that it’s important to keep things in moderation.

    Smoking cigarettes or vaping nicotine

    We know smoking cigarettes is bad for our health- it’s also apparently bad for your vagina. 

    Increased likelihood of Bacterial Vaginosis

    The chemicals in nicotine – whether you’re smoking or vaping it – depopulate the healthy, good bacteria your vagina needs, such as Lactobacillus, and promote the growth of unhealthy bacteria. Foul odors in the vulvar area and in vaginal discharge can be the result of low levels of Lactobacillus strains. Studies have shown that along with the depopulation of Lactobacillus, smoking can be a risk factor for BV due to how it interferes with estrogen production and also produces trace amounts of benzo[a]pyrene diol epoxide (BPDE). 

    Increases risk of infections

    You may have already heard from your primary doctor or gynecologist that smoking increases your overall risk of infection. Cigarette smokers not only tend to have low levels of Lactobacillus, but may also have high levels of biogenic amines like cadaverine, agmatine, putrescine, tyramine, and tryptamine, which actually boost the virulence of infective agents you come into contact with.

    Bacterial vaginosis (which isn’t an infection) isn’t the only thing smokers are at higher risk for; regular smoking can also make you most susceptible to urinary tract infections. Plus, due to the increased risk of infection overall and the changes nicotine use causes to your vaginal ecosystem, it also raises your susceptibility to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as:

    • Chlamydia
    • Herpes simplex 2
    • Human papillomavirus (HPV)
    • Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV)
    • Trichomonas vaginalis

    If you’re a sexually active smoker, it’s essential to get regularly screened for STIs.

    Dry vagina

    Menopause and aging come with hormonal changes that impact your vagina. One common change is vaginal atrophy (VA), where the vaginal skin produces less lubrication and becomes thinner, making sex uncomfortable or even painful. Smoking can compound VA; in one study of healthy postmenopausal women, smokers were more likely to have worse VA than nonsmokers. Smokers are also more likely to go into earlier menopause, at an average age of 48.5 years compared to 50.5 for nonsmokers.

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    Clara Wang

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  • 5 Ways Therapy Can Help You Have Better Sex – Intimina

    5 Ways Therapy Can Help You Have Better Sex – Intimina

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    Whether you’re in a committed relationship with a partner or simply committed to your own mental health, seeking guidance from a certified counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist can offer immense benefits.

    Even if you don’t directly go to your therapist for sex-related issues – although it’s certainly recommendable to go to a licensed therapist or psychologist who specializes in sex if you need help – therapy can indirectly help your sex life. This is because many “sex problems” stem from core relationship issues, and oftentimes it’s easier for couples to blame deep dysfunctions on surface issues like sex or money rather than face the root problems of communication, intimacy, and trauma. 

    If you, your partner, or the both of you decide to go to single or couples therapy, here are some ways that going to therapy can improve your sex life. 

    Improving Communication

    Problems in the bedroom typically directly stem from problems with communication and intimacy; if you don’t feel comfortable communicating your desires, or if you don’t feel intimate enough with your partner to do so, chances are the sex will suffer.

    A therapist can help you learn communication techniques so that you can express your desires in a healthy manner, and also help you explore the reasons behind your inability to communicate. For example, if you have an insecure attachment style, it may be difficult for you to be vulnerable because of a deep-rooted fear somebody may leave you once they find out your 

    Or, you may be unable to directly communicate your feelings because when you were a child, you were punished for expressing yourself, or saw your parents being negative about communication- the classic “repressed person.” 

    Communication is the key to sexual and romantic relationships, and working through the problems that make it hard to communicate, as well as learning about ways to do so healthily, can help you be able to express your sexuality and channel your feelings, leading to more effective relationships in the bedroom and in life overall.

    Becoming More Mindful

    Being mindful and fully present is an important component of good sex. Forget about toys, acrobatics, and tricks; simply staying in the moment will help you have better. Studies show that the part of your conscious brain that shuts off when you’re concentrating intensely, meditating, or otherwise being mindful is the same part that shuts off right before you orgasm. 

    However, it’s hard to be mindful if you feel extremely stressed and there is a lot on your mind- you have to pick up the kids, dinner’s on the stove, you might be fired from work. Therapy can help you learn techniques to cope with everyday stress as well as help to address specific anxiety disorders so that you can be more present when engaging in intimacy with your partner, rather than letting your body go on autopilot as your mind wanders. Of course, this isn’t limited to partner sex; mindfulness is also important for enjoying solo masturbation. 

    Building Confidence

    Self-esteem plays a significant role in quality of sex and sex drive. Not only is this true during sex or in a romantic relationship, it’ll also be much more difficult for somebody to get out there and date or have sex when they want it if they have low self-esteem. Therapy can address the reasons behind low self-confidence, such as social anxiety disorder, making it easier for someone to interact socially and connect with other people. 

    Confidence can also be a cause of sexual dysfunctions such as Erectile Dysfunction (ED). Many cases of reported ED don’t stem from physical causes like surgery or hormonal problems, but rather are psychogenic, meaning that the condition results from psychological factors. These factors include depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, or relationship concerns. Therapy can address these underlying psychological factors such as self-esteem.

    Coping With Sexual Dysfunction

    Sexual dysfunction refers to a common medical condition that affects your ability to have or enjoy sexual intercourse. Around 43% of women and 31% of men are estimated to have some form of sexual dysfunction. 

    Sex therapists who specialize in helping people improve their sex life often treat sexual dysfunction, but a general therapist can also help. The simple act of discussing your sexual dysfunction and how it impacts your life can help you cope, accept, or even fix it. As we mentioned above, sexual dysfunction is often rooted in psychological issues like anxiety and low self-esteem, and therapy can help you or your partner work through these problems for a better sex life – and life – all around.

    Healing Sexual Trauma

    We carry the effects of trauma for a long time, particularly if they haven’t been addressed. Sexual trauma has many lingering impacts, such as not feeling safe in intimate situations, even with a trusted partner. Therapy can help overcome sexual trauma, like abuse, assault, or rape experienced as a child or adult, and also teach ways to communicate boundaries to ultimately learn to accept and give affection.

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    Clara Wang

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  • How Governments Are Trying To Promote More Sex – Intimina

    How Governments Are Trying To Promote More Sex – Intimina

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    In some countries around the world, the government wants you to get it on. With birth rates declining in developed countries around the world, many governments are combating rapidly aging populations by encouraging the birthrate through some unique methods.

    The economic dangers of a population that is growing older faster than there are people to replace them in the workforce are clear: Taxpayer dollars necessary to fund benefits dwindle with the birthrate, and it’s more difficult to keep jobs filled. From a municipality in Sweden allowing people to have sex on government time to Japan sponsoring speed-dating events, here are some creative ways governments around the world are trying to ramp up procreation. 

    Equitable Labor Practices & Equal Parental Leave Are Key 

    Before we delve into other ways governments are trying to increase birth rates, it’s important to point out that the most effective method for encouraging people to have more children is equal parental leave. In fact, parental leave is proven to be the biggest factor influencing fertility in developed countries, which is one of the reasons why countries like Sweden offer 480 days of shared paternity leave for two parents, which doesn’t expire until the child turns 8.

    In countries with little maternity and paternity leave, women essentially suffer significant financial and career setbacks for bearing children, making them less likely to decide to have them. In many aging countries, other fundamental factors, such as the cost of education, childcare, and healthcare require large-scale reform before the government can really get serious about having sex.

    Sweden 

    Sweden, whose elderly population has risen from comprising 14% of the total population in 1970 to over 20% in 2022, is known for being a sex-positive country with progressive sex education programs. In 2017, councilman Per-Erik Muskos of the small town of Övertorneå, where the population has dwindled from 5,229 in 2005 to 4,711 in 2015, announced plans to allow municipal employees to go home for an hour and have sex on government time.

    Essentially, it’s really just an add-on for their existing hourly work break, since employees already have one paid hour off per week to exercise. While a good idea, the plan didn’t seem to ramp up birth rates; according to a 2022 travel site, the town’s population has diminished to around 1,700.

    South Korea

    South Korea has held an unwanted record for the world’s lowest birth rate two years in a row, falling to 0.78 children per woman’s reproductive life in 2022 from 0.81 the previous year. In spite of the government spending $210 billion over the last 16 years in efforts to turn the tide, the birth rate continues to decline, with the capital city of Seoul having the country’s lowest birth rate at 0.59. 

    Along with the high cost of education and raising a child in expensive cities like Seoul, another reason behind their declining birthrate is that people work a lot in South Korea. It’s one of the countries in the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) with the highest amount of hours worked per week, which coupled with one of the highest work-commuting times, leaves workers little time to, ahem, make babies.

    While procreation clearly isn’t increasing, the South Korean government tried to give government workers a little extra time to knock boots in 2010, when the Ministry of Health announced they would start turning off the lights at 7 pm every Wednesday to encourage workers to go home and spend time with their families… And hopefully make some more babies. 

    Japan

    Japan is well-known for creatively attempting to promote young people’s love lives. Not only do all the factors discussed above prevent people from having children, a growing number of young people are not getting into romantic relationships, period. Around 44 % of unmarried women and 42% of unmarried men between 18-34 identify as virgins.

    One recent tactic is subsidying speed-dating events. The Japanese government gives grants out to small towns who want to hold dating parties. The speed-dating events work just like they do anywhere else, with singles showing up to mingle and go on multiple quick dates. A “marriage-promotion committee” intervenes when conversation gets too awkward.

    Italy 

    Italy has the lowest birth rate in the EU, and in a 2016 bid to promote childbearing, the Italian government released a round of over-the-top fertility ads that met with controversy. The ads featured subjects like a drooping cigarette (indicating how smoking lowers sperm count) and a woman holding an hourglass (reminding women their biological clock is ticking). However, it was Italy’s lack of parental support and welfare policies for parents that sparked outrage, rather than the content. 

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    Clara Wang

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  • Tips on How to Maintain Intimacy When You’re Tired

    Tips on How to Maintain Intimacy When You’re Tired

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    When you’re in the midst of the whirlwind of life, sometimes the most important things fall by the wayside. We’re looking at you intimacy.

    Life can be tiring, we get it. Between jobs, school, kids, working out, maintaining a social life, and all the other things you’re juggling, sometimes one of the last things you prioritize is your intimate life. Although it may not feel like one of your top priorities, it is a vital part of most people’s lives, from your relationships to your relationship with yourself and self-care. 

    Single people, before you click away thinking this doesn’t apply to you, this is for everyone. You experience intimacy in your romantic relationships but also in your friendships and even with yourself. No matter what the dynamic is, being burnt out can take a toll on your relationships. So how do you maintain intimacy when you’re tired?

    The Intimacy Catch 22

    Here’s the conundrum: Feeling close to yourself and other people is a vital part of life. Intimacy helps with stress management, increases feelings of well-being, and adds an extra layer of love and juiciness to life.

    Intimacy makes you feel better, especially when things are tough. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the first things to disappear when you’re under stress. That’s the catch-22. Even though it’s one of the things that helps you the most, it’s difficult to maintain when the pressure of life is on. 

    This is a quick reminder that intimacy is a lot more than sex. While that can certainly be a part of it, intimacy is the overall feeling of closeness that you have in your relationships. This includes physical intimacy like sex and cuddling, and emotional intimacy like being honest with each other and feeling comfortable talking about what’s on your heart and mind. 

    Sometimes you need a little shove in the right direction to remember how to fill up your own cup. Ofen filling up your cup means turning to those around you. 

    Talk About Your Needs

    Your partner is not a mind reader. If you’re craving more intimacy in your relationship – you need to tell them. You may both be caught up in your own little stressful worlds of work and life, making it that much more difficult to connect. 

    It’s probably not either one of your faults, life can be hard and these things happen, but you can take steps to help remedy it. You want to bridge the gap that’s developed between you two without blaming anyone.

    Here are some ways to approach this conversation:

    • “I know we’re both busy, but it’s important for us to make time to connect.”
    • “I love you, and I don’t want the stress of life to keep getting in the way of our relationship.”
    • “It may not seem like it right now, but you’re my favorite person and I want to spend time with you.”

    Tapping into intimacy can sometimes be more complex than saying dropping one of these lines, but they’re a good start. When things are really tough, or you’re dealing with serious life stressors, you may need outside support to help facilitate the conversation. 

    Go to A Couple’s Therapist

    People often think of couples therapy as something people go to when they’re about to break up or get divorced. But therapy is for anyone who wants another way to improve their relationship with themself and everyone around them. 

    Couples’ therapy gives you a dedicated space and time for you to discuss whatever is happening in your own lives as well as your life together that is getting in the way of your relationship. Your therapist can help give valuable, objective insights that can give you clarity on your relationship, as well as practical tools for you to use to help maintain intimacy. 

    Just like any relationship, finding the right therapist can take time. But it’s an invaluable tool when trying to maintain intimacy in the middle of your busy lives. 

    Schedule Mini-Dates

    A lack of intimacy sometimes comes down to time. You’re short on time so even if you have the best of intentions, you don’t leave time for intimacy. 

    One way to help deal with this is by scheduling mini-dates. If you don’t have enough time for a weekly date, this at least gives you time to check in with each other, and have little moments for love when you need it most. 

    Looking for some mini-date ideas? We’ve got you covered:

    • Take a lunch break together for a sweet little meal with one rule – don’t talk about work!
    • Spend 10 minutes in the morning to cuddle and talk about any dreams you had last night, or what you want to focus on today.
    • Make time to cook dinner together, even if it’s something simple you have time to connect without screens and do something you need to do anyway.
    • Run errands together. Again, have fun doing something you have to do anyway.
    • Make time for a quickie before dinner – sex is important!

    Maintain Intimacy with Yourself

    Intimacy starts with yourself. Maintaining intimacy with your partner (if you have one) is that much easier when you’re feeling connected to yourself. Although we’re emphasizing the importance of connecting with your partner, it’s ok to prioritize time for yourself.

    When you make time for yourself, you’re able to show up that much more fully in your relationship. It may seem like you don’t have time, but even just a few minutes here and there can make a world of a difference.

    These are some tips on increasing intimacy with yourself:

    • Develop a morning routine like journaling, stretching, or reading with your morning beverage.
    • Try a self-care practice like meditation, yoga, or breathwork. 
    • Solo therapy can be essential for your well-being, and in turn, help your relationships.
    • Masturbation is a great way to connect with yourself and bring a more spicy version of yourself to the table. 

    We know how frustrating it can be to feel disconnected from your partner, or that your needs aren’t being met. Especially when life is wearing you down. You and your relationship are worth it. Take a little extra time and you’ll be amazed at how much more smoothly the rest of your life seems.

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    Natasha Weiss

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  • Jack and Jill Adult Launches New Ecommerce Website

    Jack and Jill Adult Launches New Ecommerce Website

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    Press Release
    –


    updated: Aug 5, 2022


    PORT CHARLOTTE, Fla., August 5, 2022 (Newswire.com)
    –
    Jack and Jill Adult, a leading online retailer for adult toys since 2007, is thrilled to announce the launch of its new website, jackandjilladult.com. The new site has been enhanced with a modern beautiful design and enhanced user experience with simplicity in mind.

    The site features a more graphic menu to make navigation intuitive and fun. In addition to enhanced product categorization and search functionality, the new site boasts the same high-quality news articles in our Magazine section. In addition, we list magazine publications that are related to each category within the category pages of the site so users can learn more about those toys specifically. 

    “Our customers expect a level of quality as they should form their online vendor in this space,” said Brian Sanderson, CIO “We value our customer’s input and really worked hard with a local digital marketing agency to bring our vision for our brand more into line with what our customers are asking for. We have some exciting enhancements and additions coming up that will allow us to engage even more with our users in the form of a question and answer style column!”

    Jack and Jill Adult invite visitors to explore the new website. Please check around the enhanced navigation, read our magazine articles, or learn about products in our details FAQ. 

    Media Contact:

    Brian Sanderson
    CIO
    jackandjilladult@icloud.com

    Source: Jack and Jill Adult

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