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Tag: Sexual Health

  • Restricting Calories for Longevity?  | NutritionFacts.org

    Restricting Calories for Longevity?  | NutritionFacts.org

    Though a bane for dieters, a slower metabolism may actually be a good thing.

    We’ve known for more than a century that calorie restriction can increase the lifespan of animals, and metabolic slowdown may be the mechanism. That could be why the tortoise lives ten times longer than the hare. Rabbits can live for 10 to 20 years, whereas “Harriet,” a tortoise “allegedly collected from the Galapagos Islands by Charles Darwin, was estimated to be about 176 years old when she died in 2006.” Slow and steady may win the race. 
     
    As I discuss in my video The Benefits of Calorie Restriction for Longevity, one of the ways our body lowers our resting metabolic rate is by creating cleaner-burning, more efficient mitochondria, the power plants that fuel our cells. It’s like our body passes its own fuel-efficiency standards. These new mitochondria create the same energy with less oxygen and produce less free radical “exhaust.” After all, when our body is afraid famine is afoot, it tries to conserve as much energy as it can. 
     
    Indeed, the largest caloric restriction trial to date found metabolic slowing and a reduction in free radical-induced oxidative stress, both of which may slow the rate of aging. The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long. But, whether this results in greater human longevity is an unanswered question. Caloric restriction is often said “to extend lifespan in every species studied,” but that isn’t even true of all strains within a single species. Two authors of one article, for instance, don’t even share the same view: One doesn’t think calorie restriction will improve human longevity at all, while the other suggests that a 20 percent calorie restriction starting at age 25 and sustained for 52 years could add five years onto your life. Either way, the reduced oxidative stress would be expected to improve our healthspan. 
     
    Members of the Calorie Restriction Society, self-styled CRONies (for Calorie-Restricted Optimal Nutrition), appear to be in excellent health, but they’re a rather unique, self-selected group of individuals. You don’t really know until you put it to the test. Enter the CALERIE study, the Comprehensive Assessment of Long-Term Effects of Reducing Intake of Energy, the first clinical trial to test the effects of caloric restriction. 
     
    Hundreds of non-obese men and women were randomized to two years of 25 percent calorie restriction. They only ended up achieving half that, yet they still lost about 18 pounds and three inches off their waists, wiping out more than half of their visceral abdominal fat, as you can see in the graph below and at 2:47 in my video. 

    That translated into significant improvements in cholesterol levels, triglycerides, insulin sensitivity, and blood pressure, which you can see in the graph below and at 2:52 in my video. Eighty percent of those who were overweight when they started were normal-weight by the end of the trial, “compared with a 27% increase in those who became overweight in the control group.” 

    In the famous Minnesota Starvation Study that used conscientious objectors as guinea pigs during World War II, the study subjects suffered both physically and psychologically, experiencing depression, irritability, and loss of libido, among other symptoms. The participants started out lean, though, and had their calorie intake cut in half. The CALERIE study ended up being four times less restrictive, only about 12 percent below baseline calorie intake, and enrolled normal-weight individuals, which in the United States these days means overweight on average. As such, the CALERIE trial subjects experienced nothing but positive quality-of-life benefits, with significant improvements in mood, general health, sex drive, and sleep. They only ended up eating about 300 fewer calories a day than they had eaten at baseline. So, they got all of these benefits—the physiological benefits and the psychological benefits—just from cutting about a small bag of chips’ worth of calories from their daily diets. 
     
    What happened at the end of the trial, though? As researchers saw in the Minnesota Starvation Study and in calorie deprivation experiments done on Army Rangers, as soon as the subjects were released from restriction, they tended to rapidly regain the weight and sometimes even more, as you can see below and at 4:18 in my video. 

    The leaner they started out, the more their bodies seemed to drive them to overeat to pack back on the extra body fat, as seen in the graph below and at 4:27 in my video. In contrast, after the completion of the CALERIE study, even though their metabolism was slowed, the participants retained about 50 percent of the weight loss two years later. They must have acquired new eating attitudes and behaviors that allowed them to keep their weight down. After extended calorie restriction, for example, cravings for sugary, fatty, and junky foods may actually go down. 
    This is part of my series on calorie restriction, intermittent fasting, and time-restricted eating. See related videos below.

    Michael Greger M.D. FACLM

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  • This Reproductive Justice Advocate Says “We Should Be Fighting For More” in 2024 – POPSUGAR Australia

    This Reproductive Justice Advocate Says “We Should Be Fighting For More” in 2024 – POPSUGAR Australia

    As we wrap up 2023, the impact of the Supreme Court’s decision in June 2022 to overturn Roe v. Wade is coming into clearer focus. Just this month, a decision by the Texas Supreme Court denying a woman a court-approved abortion set an important legal precedent around medical exceptions. And, looking ahead to 2024, the fate of abortion will be on the ballot in a dozen states.

    Communities of color have always been disproportionately affected by restricted abortion access. That’s why organizations like In Our Own Voice have sprung up – to address the inequality that has existed for so long and to seek reproductive justice for all.

    We spoke with Regina Davis Moss, president and CEO of In Our Own Voice, about what voters should keep in mind heading into 2024, what’s at stake for the Black community in particular when it comes to restricted abortion access, and more. Read it all, in her own words, below.

    It’s really important to understand that for Black women in particular, Roe is just the floor. It has never been enough. It’s always only centered the fact that we should have legal protection of abortion, which is absolutely the case, we should. However, we have always been challenged as Black women, girls, nonbinary people in terms of having the access. At times, we’ve also been challenged when we wanted to get pregnant in the first place; we’ve been sterilized without our consent.

    That is one thing that I always want to lift up – that while it does feel like a new era for a lot of people, for Black pregnant people, we’ve always been subjected to reproductive oppression. Now everyone knows what it’s like to be potentially surveilled and criminalized for trying to exercise your bodily autonomy.

    “Abortion is a matter of survival.”

    But the impact of the last couple of years is clear. It’s everything from providers being confused about what they can and can’t do; increased risk of intimate partner violence; life-threatening pregnancy complications; surveillance with at-home abortions. It’s really important to note that despite all of this, what I hear overwhelmingly is that abortion is a matter of survival. And whether we have political protection or not, people will still seek abortions. That’s ultimately going to drive people toward places where abortions are being provided by people who are not trained, and people are going to die.

    Disproportionately, women who are seeking abortions are already financially insecure. You have to overlay this with where we see the most restrictive abortion bans and where there are voter restrictions – in the South, you have the largest Black populations, and it’s where you see the most voter disenfranchisement as well as abortions bans and the highest maternal mortality rates. There’s absolutely no coincidence there. The goal is to keep people disempowered. When we’re not empowered and financially insecure, that pushes people into deeper poverty.

    “The goal is not just reproductive justice; it’s human rights.”

    What we’re trying to do at In Our Own Voice is to get people to vote with the reproductive justice lens. Because reproductive justice is a larger framework that’s basically asking people to go beyond abortion politics and intentionally welcomes in people from other movements, whether that’s economic justice, environmental justice, workers’ rights. The goal is not just reproductive justice; it’s human rights.

    We really focus on getting people to vote with the reproductive justice frame, because that’s really about advocating for human rights, advocating for voting rights, holding elected officials accountable, electing people who represent those values because they’re going to govern in the way that’s reflective of what you want. It’s also not just about national elections; it’s about state, local elections – it’s every year, year-round.

    Roe as we know it is gone. So we should lean into that and look at it as an opportunity to fight for more. Yes, we need to make sure legal protections are there, but we can fight for more and the things that we always wanted. Like, Medicaid does not cover abortion. Well, who’s disproportionately on Medicaid? So this is an opportunity to get at the access.

    Black women were saying Roe wasn’t enough because when you had things like the Hyde Amendment and you couldn’t even access abortion, what did that matter? We want things like comprehensive sex education, contraceptive equity. All of those things we have the opportunity to address in 2024. My argument will always be that we should be fighting for more.

    – As told to Lena Felton

    Regina davis moss

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  • How To Process Grief of Reproductive Trauma

    How To Process Grief of Reproductive Trauma

    Today, we’ll be discussing a very sensitive topic. That is, reproductive trauma.

    And while it can be difficult to talk about, it is definitely something that needs to be discussed in general. 

    To start a global conversation with the right support is the goal. But this may be thinking big.

    That is why, with the resources we have, we would love to approach the topic. 

    With many individuals facing unbearable pain because of it, both physical and psychological, we hope to offer comfort in the form of tools that may help you to deal with this kind of trauma.

    The term ‘reproductive trauma’ may seem slightly vague. 

    And the way in which we’ll talk about this very sensitive subject is in such a way that it covers any form of loss that involves the process of becoming a parent. 

    Some examples of reproductive trauma include, but are not limited to:

    In other words, reproductive trauma is a spectrum. And everyone who experiences it will have a unique experience that often encompasses grief and feelings of pain. 

    Reproductive Trauma: A Gateway To Other Forms of Pain

    In the realm of reproductive trauma, it is possible for the trauma itself to give way to another form of heartache and pain. One that is not related to their reproductive trauma.

    For example, if someone has experienced a miscarriage they could also be dealing with the pain associated with not becoming a parent. 

    They may have mentally prepared to have a child and/or created a special space in their home for their unborn child—all of which can result in the shattering of a dream. This makes this kind of trauma extremely difficult and complex.

    Having said that, there are ways to work through the trauma. 

    Reproductive Trauma: A Qualitative Study 

    At the end of 2022 two researchers, Clay and Marjorie Brigance, conducted a study while they were experiencing reproductive trauma first-hand (infertility followed by a complicated pregnancy).

    The study was designed as a duoethnography, which is a collaborative research method where the researchers themselves are the test subjects.

    In this case the two researchers, who are a couple, used open dialogue as a means to compare and contrast their experience as well as tools such as listening, interrogation, and questioning themselves and their partner. 

    Throughout the study they documented their trials and tribulations through in-depth conversations and journaling. What they found was that the experience of reproductive trauma is ambiguous, making it hard to actually grieve. 

    “When a physical death occurs, we have rituals to process this loss. However, there is no ritual with the grief of infertility or early pregnancy loss. We often suffer in silence,” says the research couple. 

    Their biggest takeaway from their study was that it’s important to talk about it, so that it is no longer a scary secret. That, and how crucial it is to really sit with the feelings without trying to fix them.

    “The more we can talk about it, the more we can normalize it,” says the researchers. 

    The Results: Trauma & Attachment Styles 

    At the end of the study, the couple had some interesting findings. 

    They found that their unprocessed trauma led to decreased empathy, which brought about an avoidant-insecure attachment style. 

    This kind of attachment style is when, instead of craving intimacy, a person will be wary of closeness with another and they will try to avoid emotional connections. Instead, they would rather rely on themselves during their time of pain.

    Additionally, they found that when they did process their trauma by having empathetic communication and spiritual connection, their attachment style was more secure couple attachment. 

    This attachment style is made up of a person appreciating their own self-worth and their ability to be themselves in a relationship. They also actively seek support and comfort from their partner, and are happy for their partner to do the same. 

    With these results, the researchers were able to summarize their findings into three different ways in which people could overcome reproductive trauma. 

    3 Ways To Help Overcome Reproductive Trauma

    If you, or someone you know, is experiencing reproductive trauma, these three pieces of advice may be helpful: 

    1. Realizing that you are not alone

    As mentioned above, dealing with reproductive trauma can be difficult because it can be ambiguous. It’s hard to accept or work through trauma when you don’t know how to do it, and it can feel extremely isolating. 

    But, it’s in these times that you should remind yourself that you’re not alone. The more you talk about it, the more solace and grieving you can experience. 

    For this, it’ll prove invaluable for you to find a community or person(s) who truly understands you and can empathize. 

    2. Sit with the emotions, don’t try to “fix” them

    In the study, it was found that when one partner validated the other’s feelings, it was more effective than trying to “fix” or “solve” them. 

    “If you want to experience relational closeness, it means sitting with the pain,” says Brigance. “This could come in a comment like, ‘This is just so hard. I see your hurt.’”

    3. Don’t let outside opinions get to you or sway how you’re feeling

    It’s natural for people to want to give you advice or guidance. But just because everyone has an opinion doesn’t mean that they are true or valid. 

    If you choose to listen to outside advice, remember that not all of it will be helpful. Everyone is allowed to have thoughts and feelings on parenthood, but it is only you who knows what your trauma feels like. 

    In times like these, leaning on your partner or a mental health professional may be the best thing to do as you grieve.

    If you are going through reproductive trauma, we hope that these tips and information have helped you in some way. 

    Talking through your pain however, as opposed to trying to fix it, could just be the best way to deal with your grief (and if you have one, become closer to your partner). You are not alone, and your feelings are valid.

    Helena Lorimer

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  • Are You a Butt Clencher? – POPSUGAR Australia

    Are You a Butt Clencher? – POPSUGAR Australia

    If you’re a parent, the term “clenched butt” might bring to mind a toddler gunning for the potty. For sex educators and havers, meanwhile, it’s an anal-play nonstarter. But to pelvic-floor therapists, butt clenching is the name for a particular peach, posterior, and pelvic-floor position that can lead to a slew of issues – and this is the type of butt clenching we’re exploring today.

    Ahead, we break down exactly what butt clenching is, why it happens, and how to stop doing it.

    What’s Butt Clenching, Exactly?

    There are two different peach positions that pelvic-floor therapists may refer to as butt clenching, according to physical therapist Corey Hazama, DPT, an expert with Pelvic Gym, a pelvic health education platform created by wearable-intimates brand Ohnut. One type of butt clenching is “the true clench,” she says.

    According to Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, a Los Angeles-based pelvic-floor therapist who specializes in incontinence and dyspareunia, with the true clench, people’s butt cheeks are pinched together because their glute (aka butt) muscles are in an overly contracted state. Some people clench their bums involuntarily as part of a stress or trauma response, much like how other people clench their jaws or draw up their shoulders, she explains. (This particular type of butt clenching is also known as butt gripping.)

    Related: Here’s What Doctors Want You to Know About the Care and Keeping of Your Pelvic Floor

    Sometimes pelvic-floor therapists also refer to butt tucking as butt clenching, says Dr. Hazama. “During the tuck-under butt clench, individuals are passively tucking their pelvic floors under their body,” she says. Also known as a posterior pelvic tilt position, this type of butt clenching is a position an individual takes on when they stand, walk, run, and move about.

    The reason that these two physical manifestations are both known as butt clenching is that they are often found together, though their order of arrival varies. Sometimes the butt gripping comes first, according to Dr. Jeffcoat. Here, “the muscle activity from clenching your cheeks together often leads to posterior pelvic position,” she says.

    Related: What Are the Symptoms of Having a Weak Pelvic Floor? We Asked 4 Experts to Explain

    Alternatively, someone who has a posterior chain pelvic tilt position can begin to glute-grip because the glutes are being called on to do the work that the midline would do in someone who does not have this pelvic position. “Having a pelvic tilt can contribute to weakness of deep core muscles, causing other muscle groups like the glutes to overly-engage to do the job,” Dr. Jeffcoat explains.

    Wait, Why Does Butt Clenching Happen?

    For a few reasons, actually!

    Most commonly, people begin butt clenching as a result of having a job that puts them in a prolonged, static standing or position all day, says Dr. Jeffcoat. Standing may look easy-peasy, but doing so actually requires engaging many core and lower-body muscles. “When the stander gets tired, they tend to let the pelvis shift forwards while the rib cage shifts back and sometimes tilts,” says Dr. Hazama. In other words, they adapt a posterior tilt position, which requires less core engagement. Over time, individuals can adapt this position more permanently, which changes not only how they stand, but how they walk, run, and otherwise move.

    Similarly, sitting with sound form requires some midline strength. As such, when an individual’s core gets tired, they can begin to sit with their back rolled back towards their tailbone, says Dr. Jeffcoat. (Betcha you just straightened up a little in your chair. . . ) This is particularly common with individuals who look like they are in a slumped-over position, she says.

    Butt clenching can also happen to athletes who have been taught to “engage their core” while they exercise, says Dr. Jeffcoat. Clenching your core muscles (which includes your pelvic-floor muscles!) is essential for protecting your spine and internal organs during certain lifts. But just as you couldn’t walk around with your bicep contracted like Popeye all day, you shouldn’t walk around with your core in a contracted position. Keeping your core clenched can result in keeping your butt clenched, Dr. Jeffcoat says, which can result in the same cascade of physical symptoms.

    People can also begin butt clenching as a protective response to physical or emotional trauma, says Dr. Jeffcoat. Indeed, butt clenching is often seen amongst survivors of abuse, as well as people who recently gave birth. Here, individuals will bare down on the pelvic-floor and glute muscles similarly to how someone preparing for a gut punch might, she explains.

    Why But Clenching Isn’t Great

    Butt clenching may be something people do subconsciously, but that doesn’t mean it’s without side effects. Unfortunately, butt clenching can have a domino effect on the body, leading to a series of musculature issues that result in pelvic-floor or full-body symptoms.

    When your glutes are in a constantly contracted position, it’s likely that the rest of the muscles in your pelvic floor are also in a contracted position, says Dr. Jeffcoat. This, she explains, can lead to back pain, anterior hip or groin pain, as well as symptoms associated with an overactive pelvic floor (also known as a hypertonic pelvic floor). To name a few: increased urinary urgency, urinary frequency, constipation, painful penetration, and lower back or pelvic pain.

    Meanwhile, “when your pelvis is tucked under your body, it shortens your glutes muscles as well as the back part of your deep pelvic-floor muscles,” says Dr. Hazama. This can alter your movement patterns during all sorts of actions, such as sitting, walking, running, and hinging (like picking things up off the ground), she says.

    How Do You Know If You’re Doing It?

    Most people aren’t aware that they’re butt clenchers, says Dr. Hazama. Both butt gripping and butt tucking happen passively, without us actively making the decision to engage our glutes or re-position our tailbone. However, there are a few ways you might be able to tell if we are, in fact, butt clenchers.

    First, look in the mirror. Look at your posture from the side and take inventory of how your body looks and feels, suggests Dr. Jeffcoat. Is there a slight curve in your lower back? Do my knees and hips feel locked? Do I notice any squeezing in my glutes? Does my left glute feel the same as my right? (Yes, you can be a one-sided butt-gripper, too!). If the answer to any of these questions is Y-E-S, you might be a butt clencher, she says.

    If you’re wearing non-workout gear, Dr. Hazama also suggests looking at how your pants are fitting. “If you have a wrinkle or crease right below your butt cheeks, you could be a clencher,” she says. If this is you, she suggests pulling your tailbone back and then tipping it up – if you’re a butt clencher, the crease will decrease or go away completely, she says.

    Next, do a head-to-toe scan for any aches and pains in your body. Again, going about your day with contracted glutes and a posterior chain tilt can result in a variety of sexual, urinary, and excretory issues and pain. Knee, ankle, hip, back, and groin pain are also common, according to Dr. Jeffcoat, because the entire area is interconnected.

    Exactly What to Do If You Butt Clench

    Good news: butt clenching is fixable! “The first step to stop butt clenching is to increase your awareness of tension in this area,” says Dr. Jeffcoat. “Even though it’s occurring subconsciously, once you are made aware, you can make steps to change it to reduce your pain and improve your daily and sexual function.”

    1. Work With a Pelvic-Floor Therapist

    Sure, there are ways you can make an educated guess around whether or not you’re a butt clencher (as outlined above). But the best way to know for sure is to work with a pelvic-floor therapist.

    After all, there are pelvic-floor, muscular, and health conditions that can have similar muscular, sexual, urinary, and excretory symptoms. A pelvic-floor therapist will be able to assess your personal movement patterns, musculature, and set of symptoms to come up with a treatment protocol custom-fit to you.

    2. Fix Your Posture

    If standing most of the day is contributing to your symptoms, Dr. Hazama suggests working with a physical therapist who understands postural alignment. “It’s more complex than just standing up straight and not slouching,” she says.

    To improve their standing posture, most people need to increase body awareness, as well as improve hamstring mobility and flexibility, Dr. Hazama says. “You need to know what it means to move your hips forward and backwards, as well as have awareness of when you are moving your hips with or without your pelvis and spine following,” she explains. You also need decent hamstring and glute flexibility, she says, which can be achieved through a variety of modalities, such as stretching, yoga, and foam rolling.

    3. Warm-Up Before Exercising

    Hate to break it to you, but you shouldn’t immediately go from sitting all day to powering through your workout.

    “Your hamstrings and glutes may have been put into a shortened position from all that sitting,” explains Dr. Hazama. If you start to run or squat while these muscles are in a shortened position, your lower body muscles won’t be able to lengthen properly, which can mess with your movement patterns.

    Your move: hit a proper dynamic warm-up that helps activate as well as stretch your glutes, hamstrings, and hips.

    4. Give Yoga a Try

    Yoga can be a great way to undo the damage done by butt clenching – so long as you’re being led by an experienced, attuned instructor.

    “When post people go to a yoga or stretching class, they stretch into the positions they are already moving into and then compensate in the positions they are tight in,” says Dr. Hazama. For instance, someone who is a butt clencher and has a pelvic tilt might mega-tuck their pelvis when in child’s pose, because they are used to tucking their pelvis, she says.

    Meanwhile, they might put their body into a suboptimal position when trying something like an upward dog. “When your hip flexors are tight – as they can be in people who butt clench – the hips lift off the ground, which results in over arching of the upper lumbar spine,” Dr. Hazama says. In order to begin to course-correct against butt clenching, an individual might scale the movement to cobra pose, elevate their hands on yoga blocks, or only stretch as far as they can without compensation.

    “Working with a yoga professional who has an eye for over-compensation and encourages you to only go as far as your body can go safely is important,” says Dr. Hazama. This means that for butt clenchers, at-home yoga workouts are not optimal.

    Related: When It Comes to Your Pelvic Floor Muscles, Tighter Doesn’t Necessarily Equal Better

    5. Bring Attention to Your Butt

    Once it’s been confirmed that you’re a butt clencher, Dr. Jeffcoat recommends helping yourself unlearn the clench by continuously bringing your attention to it.

    One option is to set an alarm on your phone, then each time it goes off, doing a little correction exercise. “Try consciously squeezing your glutes as hard as you comfortably can and then tucking your tailbone under your body. Release, tuck, release, and repeat 5 times,” she says. Using a mirror can help ensure you’ve got the right form; look at your posture from the side. It should look and feel different (read: less tucked) after you do the exercise.

    Another option is to squeeze your buttocks as hard as you comfortably can and hold for 5 seconds, says Dr. Jeffcoat. “As you release, feel the softening of those muscles as you visualize them opening up like the petals blooming on a flower,” she says. If the tension you feel is more centered around your anus or vagina (if you have one), take the visual of the flower gently opening to that area instead of the larger glute, she says.

    You can try this second exercise in multiple positions, she says, such as standing, seated, lying down flat, lying down with knees bent and feet flat on the ground, on your stomach, and on your hands and knees.

    Gabrielle kassel

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  • Using Red Light Therapy for Reproductive Health Issues

    Using Red Light Therapy for Reproductive Health Issues

    We’re surrounded by health and wellness trends, and it can take time to sift through them and find what works for you. This can be an even more tender topic when you’re looking for support with your reproductive health.

    Reproductive health issues can range from disorders like endometriosis and PCOS. It may also mean you’re seeking extra help navigating painful periods, fertility, or menopause. Point is, reproductive health can be complicated, which is why you want tools that work.

    One new tool that’s gaining popularity is red light therapy. You might have heard of using red light therapy as a skincare treatment, but it has a lot of other applications – including supporting reproductive health. 

    What is Red Light Therapy?

    Red light therapy is a technology that was initially developed by NASA as a potential way to help astronauts’ wounds. This means it’s not just another trend, it’s a valid medical tool created by some of the most brilliant scientists on the planet. 

    But how does it work? 

    The cells in your body are made up of many different parts, or organelles. One organelle, the mitochondria, helps to create ATP, which is the primary energy source for most of the body’s physiological processes like movement and homeostasis.

    Red light therapy helps to stimulate mitochondria, increasing ATP formation. More ATP means more energy, which allows cells to work more efficiently, and helps to heal parts of the body. This technology may help reduce inflammation in cells and increase blood circulation to tissues, along with other benefits. 

    Different forms of red light therapy are used to help treat:

    Red light therapy can be a great option for treating a wide range of health issues especially since it is minimally invasive, can be performed as an outpatient treatment, and currently has no known long-term side effects when done correctly. Can it also be used to help with reproductive health issues?

    Can Red Light Therapy Help Reproductive Health?

    If NASA trusts it, there must be something to this technology. The short answer is yes, red light therapy can help with a wide range of reproductive health issues. 

    Painful periods

    Period pain is not necessarily normal, but unfortunately, it is common. If you deal with painful periods regularly or occasionally, we feel you. This is one area of reproductive health that red light therapy may help support.

    A Korean study on women who experience period pain, dysmenorrhea, examined the use of red light therapy through the use of an LED belt. They found that using near-infrared rays helped to relieve period pain and improve their quality of life. 

    While studies are limited, red light therapy is relatively low risk, and supposedly helps to relieve period pain by reducing inflammation and promoting relaxation and blood circulation. 

    Endometriosis

    One potential cause of painful periods is endometriosis. The lining of the uterus is called the endometrium. In endometriosis, cells similar to this lining grow in places outside of the uterus like the fallopian tubes and ovaries. 

    Endometriosis can cause life-altering symptoms like extreme period pain, pain during penetrative sex, and heavy periods. While there is no known treatment for endometriosis, there are some tools that can help minimize symptoms. 

    One study observed 40 women with endometriosis ages 24-32 years. Researchers found that the group who received high-intensity laser therapy had reduced endometrial adhesions and significant improvement in period pain.  

    Thyroid disorders

    We typically think of reproductive health disorders directly affecting the reproductive organs. However many reproductive disorders are endocrinological, meaning they have to do with the hormonal system. 

    This is true in the case of thyroid disorders. This tiny little gland in your neck secretes hormones and helps to regulate metabolism, heart rate, energy levels, and a lot more. When the thyroid is out of balance, it can wreak havoc in the body. 

    One of the most common thyroid disorders amongst females is Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, a form of chronic autoimmune thyroiditis, which typically requires medication. Researchers found that patients who received low-level laser therapy required lower doses of their thyroid medication post-treatment. This suggests that red light therapy can help to improve thyroid function and work in tandem with other treatments for autoimmune thyroid conditions.

    Infertility

    One of the most difficult reproductive health issues is infertility. If you are going through this, our hearts are with you. We understand how difficult it can be to feel like nothing is working, that you’re not getting answers, or to experience pregnancy loss.

    While we want to be tender with this subject and don’t want to give anyone false hope, research on red light therapy has shown it may be beneficial for infertility. A Japanese study on females deemed “severely infertile”, found that 21.74% of those who received red light therapy were able to become pregnant, of that group, 68% had a successful live delivery.

    Another study focused on patients undergoing IVF who had experienced recurrent implantation failure (RIF). Patients who received laser-treatment prior to embryo transfer had higher rates of clinical pregnancy, implantation, and a lower risk of miscarriage – 18.2% compared to 27.3% in the control group. 

    Red Light Therapy Side Effects

    Not only are there different kinds of red light therapy and lasers available, this technology has a wide range of applications, especially when it comes to reproductive health. Are there any potential side effects? 

    A huge benefit of red light therapy is that it is extremely low risk, requires little downtime, is minimally invasive, and has no known long term side effects. That being said, certain people should avoid it like those with a photosensitizing medical condition like lupus. Most providers believe it is safe to use on a regular basis. 

    Wondering if red light therapy might be able to help you? That’s a conversation you should have with your healthcare provider. They can help you decide if red light therapy is right for you, as well as the best treatment or at-home device for your specific needs. If you’re dealing with reproductive health issues, our hearts go out to you, hopefully this helped shed some *light* on one tool that may be able to help. 

    Natasha Weiss

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  • Condition Center: Vulvodynia – POPSUGAR Australia

    Condition Center: Vulvodynia – POPSUGAR Australia

    This informational guide, part of POPSUGAR’s Condition Center, lays out the realities of this health concern: what it is, what it can look like, and strategies that medical experts say are proven to help. You should always consult your doctor regarding matters pertaining to your health and before starting any course of medical treatment.

    Any type of discomfort in your nether regions is uncomfortable, but if you have generalized, prolonged pain around your vagina, you may be experiencing vulvodynia.

    Vulvodynia is the medical term used to describe chronic, recurrent pain in the vulva, or the area of skin just outside and around the vagina, that has no known cause, says Kyle Graham, MD, a board-certified ob-gyn at Pediatrix Medical Group in San Jose, CA. “This means that there may be pain in the vulva, but it’s not because of an infection, rash, trauma, pinched nerve, or any lesion,” he explains. “It is pain with no obvious etiology.”

    Vulvodynia is chronic and by definition lasts at least three months, Dr. Graham says. The pain can be constant, but you may not experience it daily, as it can sometimes only be related to touch (e.g. during sex, putting in a tampon, or during a pelvic exam), he explains.

    Unfortunately, vulvodynia is not necessarily preventable, since there are so many potential causes (more on that soon), but there are various treatments to minimize symptoms and reduce pain, says Sameena Rahman, MD, an ob-gyn at Center For Gynecology and Cosmetics. Here’s everything you need to know about vulvodynia, including its potential causes and most effective treatments.

    Understanding Vulvodynia

    Vulvodynia is generalized, long-term pain or discomfort around the vulva, says Dr. Rahman. It’s usually localized to a specific area and causes a burning, itching, or stabbing sensation, she explains. The pain is also common during sex, while inserting a menstrual product like a tampon, or during a routine pelvic exam, adds Dr. Graham. “Any contact or touch of the genital region, no matter how gentle or slight, can elicit pain.”

    The condition mostly occurs in women before menopause, though it can affect people of all ages, Dr. Graham explains. Research finds vulvodynia occurs in all races, religions, and ethnic backgrounds, and 16 percent of women suffer from vulvodynia at some point, with the highest incidence between ages 18 and 25, Dr. Rahman adds.

    You can technically have sex with vulvodynia, but it’s usually too painful, especially at initial entry or with deep penetration, says Dr. Rahman. As a result, the pain can lead to a lack of desire, which makes sex even more difficult, she adds.

    In terms of getting diagnosed, your doctor will first conduct a thorough medical history to discuss when the pain started, how you prefer to have sex, whether you’ve used a tampon before, if you use birth control, and where you are on your menstrual cycle, Dr. Rahman says. “Vulvodynia is a descriptive term, but the diagnosis comes from a true investigation,” she explains.

    From there, your provider will typically perform a cotton-swab pressure-point test, where they use a small cotton-swab tip to apply pressure to various areas around the vulva and ask where your pain is located, Dr. Graham says. They will also do an internal exam of the vagina, uterus, ovaries, bladder, and pelvic muscles to look for signs of pain. This is done by gently placing one or two fingers inside the vagina with one hand while pressing down on the lower abdomen with the other and using a speculum to examine the walls of the vagina and cervix. Your doctor will also look at your back and spine for potential injuries and examine the vulva for subtle skin changes, Dr. Rahman explains.

    Causes of Vulvodynia

    There is not one known cause of vulvodynia, Dr. Graham says. By definition, the cause of pain is not identifiable, however it’s partially related to the immune system and nervous system, since there can be over-sensitized nerves and an excessive amount of nerve endings in the vulvar area, he explains. An injury to the back can also cause vulvodynia pain if nerves transmit their signal from the spinal cord to the vulva, Dr. Rahman adds.

    Vulvodynia can also be hormonal and related to a hormone deficiency such as chronic birth control use, menopause, perimenopause, postpartum, and/or if you’re breastfeeding, Dr. Rahman says.

    Additionally, vulvodynia can be caused by chronic inflammation from vaginal infections, disease, or skin conditions such as lichen planus, pelvic floor dysfunction, and genetics, Dr. Rahman adds.

    The Most Effective Vulvodynia Treatments

    There are various medications for vulvodynia, but topical creams like lidocaine are usually the first-line treatment, Dr. Graham says. Estrogen creams such as estradiol or Premarin are also a treatment starting point, while oral medications such as gabapentin, venlafaxine, and nortriptyline also have success in reducing symptoms, he explains. Botox injections and nerve blocks may also be recommended to help minimize pain, adds Dr. Rahman.

    Pelvic floor physical therapy is almost always another part of treatment, Dr. Rahman says. “Due to the pain of the vulva, many patients clench or guard the muscles of the pelvic floor, and this causes the tone of the pelvis to increase, and ultimately the muscles become weak,” she explains. Your doctor may discuss specific pelvic floor exercises or refer you to a pelvic floor specialist.

    Lastly, cognitive behavioral therapy with a licensed therapist can help tremendously, as anxiety and depression often accompany vulvodynia, Dr. Rahman says. “Treatment is a multidisciplinary approach.”

    Ultimately, vulvodynia can be difficult to diagnose and finding a successful treatment may be trial and error before finding an option that works for you. That said, it’s important to see a doctor anytime you are bothered by your vulvar pain, especially if it’s lasted for prolonged periods of three to six months, Dr. Rahman says. “Awareness and education are key, and finding someone who listens to you is paramount.”

    Andi breitowich

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  • Thinking About Having Sex for the First Time? Important Considerations

    Thinking About Having Sex for the First Time? Important Considerations

    Sex. What’s your first reaction to hearing this word? Excitement? Nervousness? Uncertainty? Arousal? Maybe all of the above? If you’re thinking about having sex for the first time, then this topic may feel even more charged up. 

    Whether you’re 16 or 26, there’s no right age to have sex, but it can still be a confusing time to navigate. You might feel like there’s a volleyball game in your head and heart (and other places), which is why we’re here to help clear up some confusion and offer guidance on what to consider if you’re wondering “Am I ready to have sex?”.

    It Doesn’t Have To Be a Huge Deal

    Having sex (or not having it) may seem like the biggest decision you’re ever going to make. Especially if you’re facing it right now. And it’s hard to understand this at the moment, but it doesn’t have to be a huge deal. Hear me out.

    Sex is a huge part of being human, being in relationships, and experiencing pleasure. But like every other part of being human, sex isn’t perfect. It can be silly and messy (literally), funny and intense. It can be so many things, and this imperfect part of life doesn’t have to have so much pressure on it.

    The goal of a healthy sex life (besides procreating if you’re into that) is pleasure, connection, joy, and presence. Focusing on that makes you realize that your first time doesn’t have to be a huge event, instead, it’s a gateway to a new (very fun) part of life.

    We understand that this can be complicated if your religion or culture has particular views on life, but we urge you to make your own decisions and seek supportive, non-judgmental guidance where you can. 

    Defining Sex for Yourself

    Another thing to consider is what sex means to you. Sex doesn’t just mean a penis in a vagina. Although it certainly can if you want it to. You get to decide what sex means to you, who you want to have sex with, and everything else that has to do with your unique sexuality.

    Sex can also include oral sex, manual stimulation (fingering and hand jobs), using toys, penetration with a dildo, non-penetrative genital-to-genital stimulation, and anything else you can think of. Realizing that you get to define sex for yourself helps break down stereotypes and gives you more autonomy over your own body and choices. 

    Sexuality can evolve too. You might realize you’re attracted to a new gender or had new realizations about your gender that changed your romantic dynamics. This is all ok and a normal part of being a sexual human!

    You Feel Comfortable Communicating Your Needs

    Something that a lot of people don’t consider, or don’t even realize before having sex is that they are in charge of communicating what they want. Your partner is not a mind reader, especially if sex is new for both of you. 

    This is your time to learn together, and one of the best ways to do that is through communication. Do you want to try a certain position? Can you try a different angle? Do you need to move more slowly? These are all important questions to ask yourself, and communicate with whoever you’re having sex with. 

    This is a skill that takes time, and if sex is new for you, then you might not even know what you like yet. If it makes you feel any better, a lot of people who have been having sex for quite some time still don’t know what they want or how to communicate it. It’s saddening, but this doesn’t have to be you. Start working on this skill now so that you can ask for what you want in bed.

    Know Your Boundaries

    It’s just as important to be able to communicate what you do want as what you don’t want. Boundaries are an important part of any relationship, especially if you’re having sex.

    Having healthy boundaries allows you to have an enjoyable sex life where you feel empowered and respected. Understanding your boundaries and how to set them before even having sex helps give you a strong foundation for all sexual encounters or relationships to come. 

    Boundaries can look like this:

    • “I’m tired and don’t want to have sex right now.”
    • “I want to keep our clothes on today.”
    • “I want to talk about it before we try something new.”
    • “This doesn’t feel good, let’s try something else.”

    Please don’t ever feel bad about saying no to a certain sexual act, having sex when you don’t want to, or anything else that pushes your boundaries. If someone does not respect your boundaries, we urge you to have a serious talk with them and/or reevaluate the relationship. 

    Making Responsible Sexual Health Choices

    If you decide to have sex, you’re also committing to making responsible decisions about your sexual health. That includes things we already talked about like communicating your needs and boundaries, but it also means taking care of your body to the best of your ability.

    Here’s the thing – there’s no such thing as “safe sex”. We prefer the term “safeR sex”. Because things happen and sometimes people get pregnant or get sexually transmitted infections. While it can be nerve-wracking or embarrassing it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

    STIs are a part of nature, and usually, the stigma and idea of them are worse than the actual infection itself. Most of the most commonly transmitted STIs can be treated with antibiotics.

    Here are some other safer sex decisions:

    • Use barrier methods like condoms and/or dental dams (even for oral sex).
    • Talk to your doctor about your birth control options.
    • Learn your body to know when you’re ovulating to help avoid unwanted pregnancies.
    • If you do get an STI, know how to communicate that with your partner or new partners.
    • Get STI tested before and after a new partner, or regularly if either of you has multiple partners.

    Know that there are no wrong decisions. This is your body and your choice. Most people will have sex eventually, so you get to check in with yourself about whether this is the right time.

    If you have someone else to talk to like a therapist, a supportive parent or family member, or even a school counselor – we highly recommend talking with them. You deserve to have your questions and concerns answered with clear information and without judgment. Above all – enjoy!

    Natasha Weiss

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  • How Do Weed, Alcohol and Smoking Affect Vaginal Chemistry? – Intimina

    How Do Weed, Alcohol and Smoking Affect Vaginal Chemistry? – Intimina

    Substances like THC, alcohol, and nicotine can substantially alter our body and brain chemistry in various ways. What you may not have thought about is how weed, alcohol, and smoking can impact your vaginal chemistry.

    While using substances is a personal decision, it’s important to know how these decisions can impact your body and health. Here’s a breakdown of how marijuana, alcohol, and smoking can affect your vagina.

    Weed

    There have been a host of products in recent years containing CBD or THC claiming to do everything from enhance sexual pleasure to relieving menopause symptoms and vaginal infections. Cannabis molecules in cannabinoids like CBD and THC bind with our body’s endocannabinoid receptors and also interact with the body’s natural cannabinoids.

    There are many endocannabinoid receptors in the female reproductive tract, clustering most densely in the uterus but also found throughout the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and vulva. These interactions can help reduce inflammation, but can also produce dryness.

    *May* cause vaginal dryness

    Just like how weed can make your mouth dry, it can also dry out the mucus membranes in your vaginal canal. Of course, not all strains of weed will give you dry mouth (and the ones that do are the ones that potentially could cause vaginal dryness), and there hasn’t been enough research conducted to establish this phenomenon as anything more than anecdotal. 

    May help with Bacterial Vaginosis

    Bacterial vaginosis, or BV, is the overgrowth of certain bacteria in the vagina, resulting in symptoms like a fishy odor, excess discharge, itching, pain, or burning. While more research still needs to be done, cannabinoids may have various antibacterial properties that may assist with bacterial overgrowth. If you have BV, you should always consult with your doctor, but CBD at the very least doesn’t interfere with traditional treatments like boric acid.

    Alcohol

    A glass or two may help you relax before sex, but what are the affects of alcohol on your vaginal health?

    Can cause vaginal dryness

    Alcohol dehydrates your body and increases fatigue, thus also drying out the mucus membrane in your vagina. 

    Odor changes

    Excessive amounts of alcohol consumption may change the way your vagina smells. Along with promoting inflammation, the sugar in alcohol can also mess with your bacterial flora and increase the risk of infection and BV.

    Increased likelihood of Bacterial Vaginosis

    As mentioned previously, alcohol may increase the rate of bacterial vaginosis. Studies have shown that heavy drinking women of reproductive age have higher rates of BV, although the causality still needs to be further investigated. The occasional drink or two won’t mess up your vaginal pH, but the fact that alcohol consumption increases your sugar levels and promotes bacterial growth means that it’s important to keep things in moderation.

    Smoking cigarettes or vaping nicotine

    We know smoking cigarettes is bad for our health- it’s also apparently bad for your vagina. 

    Increased likelihood of Bacterial Vaginosis

    The chemicals in nicotine – whether you’re smoking or vaping it – depopulate the healthy, good bacteria your vagina needs, such as Lactobacillus, and promote the growth of unhealthy bacteria. Foul odors in the vulvar area and in vaginal discharge can be the result of low levels of Lactobacillus strains. Studies have shown that along with the depopulation of Lactobacillus, smoking can be a risk factor for BV due to how it interferes with estrogen production and also produces trace amounts of benzo[a]pyrene diol epoxide (BPDE). 

    Increases risk of infections

    You may have already heard from your primary doctor or gynecologist that smoking increases your overall risk of infection. Cigarette smokers not only tend to have low levels of Lactobacillus, but may also have high levels of biogenic amines like cadaverine, agmatine, putrescine, tyramine, and tryptamine, which actually boost the virulence of infective agents you come into contact with.

    Bacterial vaginosis (which isn’t an infection) isn’t the only thing smokers are at higher risk for; regular smoking can also make you most susceptible to urinary tract infections. Plus, due to the increased risk of infection overall and the changes nicotine use causes to your vaginal ecosystem, it also raises your susceptibility to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as:

    • Chlamydia
    • Herpes simplex 2
    • Human papillomavirus (HPV)
    • Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV)
    • Trichomonas vaginalis

    If you’re a sexually active smoker, it’s essential to get regularly screened for STIs.

    Dry vagina

    Menopause and aging come with hormonal changes that impact your vagina. One common change is vaginal atrophy (VA), where the vaginal skin produces less lubrication and becomes thinner, making sex uncomfortable or even painful. Smoking can compound VA; in one study of healthy postmenopausal women, smokers were more likely to have worse VA than nonsmokers. Smokers are also more likely to go into earlier menopause, at an average age of 48.5 years compared to 50.5 for nonsmokers.

    Clara Wang

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  • How Governments Are Trying To Promote More Sex – Intimina

    How Governments Are Trying To Promote More Sex – Intimina

    In some countries around the world, the government wants you to get it on. With birth rates declining in developed countries around the world, many governments are combating rapidly aging populations by encouraging the birthrate through some unique methods.

    The economic dangers of a population that is growing older faster than there are people to replace them in the workforce are clear: Taxpayer dollars necessary to fund benefits dwindle with the birthrate, and it’s more difficult to keep jobs filled. From a municipality in Sweden allowing people to have sex on government time to Japan sponsoring speed-dating events, here are some creative ways governments around the world are trying to ramp up procreation. 

    Equitable Labor Practices & Equal Parental Leave Are Key 

    Before we delve into other ways governments are trying to increase birth rates, it’s important to point out that the most effective method for encouraging people to have more children is equal parental leave. In fact, parental leave is proven to be the biggest factor influencing fertility in developed countries, which is one of the reasons why countries like Sweden offer 480 days of shared paternity leave for two parents, which doesn’t expire until the child turns 8.

    In countries with little maternity and paternity leave, women essentially suffer significant financial and career setbacks for bearing children, making them less likely to decide to have them. In many aging countries, other fundamental factors, such as the cost of education, childcare, and healthcare require large-scale reform before the government can really get serious about having sex.

    Sweden 

    Sweden, whose elderly population has risen from comprising 14% of the total population in 1970 to over 20% in 2022, is known for being a sex-positive country with progressive sex education programs. In 2017, councilman Per-Erik Muskos of the small town of Övertorneå, where the population has dwindled from 5,229 in 2005 to 4,711 in 2015, announced plans to allow municipal employees to go home for an hour and have sex on government time.

    Essentially, it’s really just an add-on for their existing hourly work break, since employees already have one paid hour off per week to exercise. While a good idea, the plan didn’t seem to ramp up birth rates; according to a 2022 travel site, the town’s population has diminished to around 1,700.

    South Korea

    South Korea has held an unwanted record for the world’s lowest birth rate two years in a row, falling to 0.78 children per woman’s reproductive life in 2022 from 0.81 the previous year. In spite of the government spending $210 billion over the last 16 years in efforts to turn the tide, the birth rate continues to decline, with the capital city of Seoul having the country’s lowest birth rate at 0.59. 

    Along with the high cost of education and raising a child in expensive cities like Seoul, another reason behind their declining birthrate is that people work a lot in South Korea. It’s one of the countries in the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) with the highest amount of hours worked per week, which coupled with one of the highest work-commuting times, leaves workers little time to, ahem, make babies.

    While procreation clearly isn’t increasing, the South Korean government tried to give government workers a little extra time to knock boots in 2010, when the Ministry of Health announced they would start turning off the lights at 7 pm every Wednesday to encourage workers to go home and spend time with their families… And hopefully make some more babies. 

    Japan

    Japan is well-known for creatively attempting to promote young people’s love lives. Not only do all the factors discussed above prevent people from having children, a growing number of young people are not getting into romantic relationships, period. Around 44 % of unmarried women and 42% of unmarried men between 18-34 identify as virgins.

    One recent tactic is subsidying speed-dating events. The Japanese government gives grants out to small towns who want to hold dating parties. The speed-dating events work just like they do anywhere else, with singles showing up to mingle and go on multiple quick dates. A “marriage-promotion committee” intervenes when conversation gets too awkward.

    Italy 

    Italy has the lowest birth rate in the EU, and in a 2016 bid to promote childbearing, the Italian government released a round of over-the-top fertility ads that met with controversy. The ads featured subjects like a drooping cigarette (indicating how smoking lowers sperm count) and a woman holding an hourglass (reminding women their biological clock is ticking). However, it was Italy’s lack of parental support and welfare policies for parents that sparked outrage, rather than the content. 

    Clara Wang

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  • Australia tells dating apps to improve safety standards to protect users

    Australia tells dating apps to improve safety standards to protect users

    CANBERRA, Australia — Australia’s government said Monday the online dating industry must improve safety standards or be forced to make changes through legislation, responding to research that says three-in-four Australian users suffer some form of sexual violence through the platforms.

    Communications Minister Michelle Rowland said popular dating companies such as Tinder, Bumble and Hinge have until June 30 to develop a voluntary code of conduct that addresses user safety concerns.

    The code could include improving engagement with law enforcement, supporting at-risk users, improving safety policies and practices, and providing greater transparency about harms, she said.

    But, Rowland added, if the safety standards are not sufficiently improved, the government will use regulation and legislation to force change.

    “What we want to do in this sector is not stifle innovation, but balance the harms,” she told reporters.

    The government is responding to Australian Institute of Criminology research published last year that found three-in-four users of dating apps or websites had experienced some form of sexual violence through these platforms in the five years through 2021.

    “Online dating is actually the most popular way for Australians to meet new people and to form new relationships,” Rowland said.

    “The government is concerned about rates of sexual harassment, abusive and threatening language, unsolicited sexual images and violence facilitated by these platforms,” she added.

    The Australian Information Industry Association, which represents the information and communications technology industry in Australia but not the online dating sector, welcomed the government’s approach as “very measured.”

    “That’s the way the government should regulate technology,” the association’s chief executive, Simon Bush, said. “Point out where there’s an issue, get the industry together and get the industry to look to see if they can resolve these issues first before pulling the regulatory trigger.”

    Bumble declined to comment. Tinder and Hinge did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

    Kath Albury, an online dating researcher at Melbourne’s Swinburne University of Technology, said safety improvements could include a clearer sense of how quickly a user could expect feedback after reporting an unwanted or threatening contact.

    “One of the things that dating app users are concerned about is the sense that complaints go into the void or there’s a response that feels automated or not personal responsive in a time when they’re feeling quite unsafe or distressed,” Albury told Australian Broadcasting Corp.

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  • Australia tells dating apps to improve safety standards to protect users from sexual violence

    Australia tells dating apps to improve safety standards to protect users from sexual violence

    CANBERRA, Australia — Australia’s government said Monday the online dating industry must improve safety standards or be forced to make changes through legislation, responding to research that says three-in-four Australian users suffer some form of sexual violence through the platforms.

    Communications Minister Michelle Rowland said popular dating companies such as Tinder, Bumble and Hinge have until June 30 to develop a voluntary code of conduct that addresses user safety concerns.

    The code could include improving engagement with law enforcement, supporting at-risk users, improving safety policies and practices, and providing greater transparency about harms, she said.

    But, Rowland added, if the safety standards are not sufficiently improved, the government will use regulation and legislation to force change.

    “What we want to do in this sector is not stifle innovation, but balance the harms,” she told reporters.

    The government is responding to Australian Institute of Criminology research published last year that found three-in-four users of dating apps or websites had experienced some form of sexual violence through these platforms in the five years through 2021.

    “Online dating is actually the most popular way for Australians to meet new people and to form new relationships,” Rowland said.

    “The government is concerned about rates of sexual harassment, abusive and threatening language, unsolicited sexual images and violence facilitated by these platforms,” she added.

    The Australian Information Industry Association, which represents the information and communications technology industry in Australia but not the online dating sector, welcomed the government’s approach as “very measured.”

    “That’s the way the government should regulate technology,” the association’s chief executive, Simon Bush, said. “Point out where there’s an issue, get the industry together and get the industry to look to see if they can resolve these issues first before pulling the regulatory trigger.”

    Bumble declined to comment. Tinder and Hinge did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

    Kath Albury, an online dating researcher at Melbourne’s Swinburne University of Technology, said safety improvements could include a clearer sense of how quickly a user could expect feedback after reporting an unwanted or threatening contact.

    “One of the things that dating app users are concerned about is the sense that complaints go into the void or there’s a response that feels automated or not personal responsive in a time when they’re feeling quite unsafe or distressed,” Albury told Australian Broadcasting Corp.

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  • Tired of what she says is oppression, woman in Zimbabwe challenges a law banning sex toys

    Tired of what she says is oppression, woman in Zimbabwe challenges a law banning sex toys

    HARARE, Zimbabwe — Sitabile Dewa was content with her sex life when she was married, but after her divorce, she found her prospects for erotic pleasure rather bleak.

    In socially conservative Zimbabwe, divorced women and single mothers are often cast as undesirable partners for men, and in her frustration Dewa decided she wanted to use sex toys.

    The problem is sex toys are against the law in Zimbabwe.

    “I should not be deprived of self-exploration and indulgence in self-gratification,” said Dewa, 35.

    Part of Zimbabwe’s “censorship and entertainments control” law makes the importation or possession of sex toys illegal as they are deemed “indecent” or “obscene” and harmful to public morals. Owning sex toys can put a woman in prison.

    Dewa said the law is “archaic” and is challenging part of it in court on the basis that it is repressive and infringes on her freedom. She filed court papers in March suing the Zimbabwe government and seeking to have parts of the law repealed. The court is considering her case.

    Her bold, open references to masturbation and women’s sexuality are bound to make many Zimbabweans uncomfortable.

    But her crusade is significant, say women’s rights campaigners, as part of a broader challenge to the nation’s patriarchal outlook, where women’s choices on a range of other issues that affect them and their bodies — including contraception, marriage and even what they wear — are scrutinized and often limited.

    Dewa is a women’s rights activist herself, and says she applied her own life experience in her stand against the ban on sex toys.

    Proof that the law is actively enforced came last year when two women were arrested over sex toys.

    One of them was running an online business selling sex aids to women and offering advice on their use. She spent two weeks in detention and was sentenced to six years in jail or 640 hours of unpaid community work.

    The thing that appears to rile authorities the most on the sex toy issue is the sidelining of men, said Debra Mwase, a programs manager with Katswe Sistahood, a Zimbabwean group lobbying for women’s rights. Sexually liberated women frighten the men who dominate Zimbabwe’s political, social and cultural spaces, she said.

    “Sex is not really seen as a thing for women,” Mwase said. “Sex is for men to enjoy. For women, it is still framed as essential only for childbearing.”

    “Sex without a man becomes a threat,” she added.

    Dewa boils it down to this: “These laws would have been repealed a long time ago if the majority of users were men,” she said.

    Also significant is Zimbabwe’s history. While untangling the effects colonialism might have had on women’s rights in sub-Saharan Africa today, multiple studies have shown that African women were far more sexually expressive before European laws, culture and religion were imposed.

    Prominent Ugandan academic Sylvia Ramale wrote in the introduction to a book she edited titled “African Sexualities” that pre-colonial African women were “relatively unrestrained” when it came to their sexuality. For one thing, they wore revealing clothing, Ramale said.

    But colonialism and the foreign religion it carried with it “stressed the impurity and inherent sin associated with women’s bodies,” she said.

    Mwase quips at what she sees as a great irony now in Zimbabwe, which has been independent and free of the oppression of white minority rule for 43 years and yet retains laws like the one that deals with sex toys, which is a carryover from colonial times.

    “African societies still vigorously enforce values and laws long ditched by those who brought them here. It is in Europe where women now freely wear less clothing and are sexually liberal, just like we were doing more than a century ago,” she said.

    Dewa’s campaign for access to sex toys falls into the bigger picture in Zimbabwe of women being “tired of oppression,” and is clearly forward-thinking, she said. But there has recently been evidence of a throwback to the past that might also be welcome.

    Some parts of a pre-colonial southern African tradition known as “Chinamwari” are being revived, in which young women gather for sex education sessions overseen by older women from their families or community.

    Advice on anything from foreplay to sexual positions to sexual and reproductive health is handed out, giving Chinamwari a risqué reputation but also the potential to empower young women.

    In modern-day Zimbabwe, Chinamwari meetings are advertised on the internet. But they also now come with guarantees of secrecy, largely because of the prevailing attitudes toward sex and backlash from some men uncomfortable with the thought of women being too good at it.

    ___

    More Associated Press Africa news: https://apnews.com/hub/africa

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  • Sex? Sexual intercourse? Neither? Teens weigh in on evolving definitions — and habits

    Sex? Sexual intercourse? Neither? Teens weigh in on evolving definitions — and habits

    SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Situationships. “Sneaky links.” The “talking stage,” the flirtatious getting-to-know-you phase — typically done via text — that can lead to a hookup.

    High school students are having less sexual intercourse. That’s what the studies say. But that doesn’t mean they’re having less sex.

    The language of young love and lust, and the actions behind it, are evolving. And the shift is not being adequately captured in national studies, experts say.

    For years, studies have shown a decline in the rates of American high school students having sex. That trend continued, not surprisingly, in the first years of the pandemic, according to a recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The study found that 30% of teens in 2021 said they had ever had sex, down from 38% in 2019 and a huge drop from three decades ago, when more than half of teens reported having sex.

    The Associated Press took the findings to teenagers and experts around the country to ask for their interpretation. Parents: Some of the answers may surprise you.

    THE MEANING OF SEX: DEPENDS WHO YOU ASK

    For starters, what is the definition of sex?

    “Hmm. That’s a good question,” says Rose, 17, a junior at a New England high school.

    She thought about it for 20 seconds, then listed a range of possibilities for heterosexual sex, oral sex and relations between same-sex or LGBTQ partners. On her campus, short-term hookups — known as “situationships” — are typically low commitment and high risk from both health and emotional perspectives.

    There are also “sneaky links” — when you hook up in secret and don’t tell your friends. “I have a feeling a lot more people are quote unquote having sex — just not necessarily between a man and a woman.”

    For teens today, the conversation about sexuality is moving from a binary situation to a spectrum and so are the kinds of sex people are having. And while the vocabulary around sex is shifting, the main question on the CDC survey has been worded the same way since the government agency began its biannual study in 1991: Have you “ever had sexual intercourse?”

    “Honestly, that question is a little laughable,” says Kay, 18, who identifies as queer and attends a public high school near Lansing, Michigan. “There’s probably a lot of teenagers who are like, ‘No, I’ve never had sexual intercourse, but I’ve had other kinds of sex.’”

    The AP agreed to use teenagers’ first or middle names for this article because of a common concern they expressed about backlash at school, at home and on social media for speaking about their peers’ sex lives and LGBTQ+ relations.

    SEXUAL IDENTITY IS EVOLVING

    Several experts say the CDC findings could signal a shift in how teen sexuality is evolving, with gender fluidity becoming more common along with a decrease in stigma about identifying as not heterosexual.

    They point to another finding in this year’s study that found the proportion of high school kids who identify as heterosexual dropped to about 75%, down from about 89% in 2015, when the CDC began asking about sexual orientation. Meanwhile, the share who identified as lesbian, gay or bisexual rose to 15%, up from 8% in 2015.

    “I just wonder, if youth were in the room when the questions were being created, how they would be worded differently,” said Taryn Gal, executive director of the Michigan Organization on Adolescent Sexual Health.

    Sex is just one of the topics covered by the CDC study, called the Youth Risk Behavior Survey. One of the main sources of national data about high school students on a range of behaviors, it is conducted every two years and asks about 100 questions on topics including smoking, drinking, drug use, bullying, carrying guns and sex. More than 17,000 students at 152 public and private high schools across the country responded to the 2021 survey.

    “It’s a fine line we have to try to walk,” says Kathleen Ethier, director of the CDC’s Division of Adolescent and School Health, which leads the study.

    From a methodological standpoint, changing a question would make it harder to compare trends over time. The goal is to take a national snapshot of teenage behavior, with the understanding that questions might not capture all the nuance. “It doesn’t allow us to go as in depth in some areas as we would like,” Ethier says.

    The national survey, for example, does not ask about oral sex, which carries the risk of spreading sexually transmitted infections. As for “sexual intercourse,” Ethier says, “We try to use a term that we know young people understand, realizing that it may not encompass all the ways young people would define sex.”

    IS LESS TEEN SEX GOOD NEWS?

    Beyond semantics, there are a multitude of theories on why the reported rates of high school sex have steadily declined — and what it might say about American society.

    “I imagine some parents are rejoicing and some are concerned, and I think there is probably good cause for both,” says Sharon Hoover, co-director of the National Center for School Mental Health at the University of Maryland. Health officials like to see trends that result in fewer teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

    “But what we don’t know is what this means for the trajectory of young people,” Hoover says.

    This year’s decrease, the sharpest drop ever recorded, clearly had a lot to do with the pandemic, which kept kids isolated, cut off from friends and immersed in social media. Even when life started returning to normal, many kids felt uncomfortable with face-to-face interaction and found their skills in verbal communication had declined, Hoover said.

    The survey was conducted in the fall of 2021, just as many K-12 students returned to in-person classrooms after a year of online school.

    Several teens interviewed said that when schools reopened, they returned with intense social anxiety compounded by fears of catching COVID. That added a new layer to pre-pandemic concerns about sexual relations like getting pregnant or catching STIs.

    “I remember thinking, ‘What if I get sick? What if I get a disease? What if I don’t have the people skills for this?’” said Kay, the 18-year-old from Michigan. “All those ‘what ifs’ definitely affected my personal relationships, and how I interacted with strangers or personal partners.”

    Another fear is the prying eyes of parents, says college student Abby Tow, who wonders if helicopter parenting has played a role in what she calls the “baby-fication of our generation.” A senior at the University of Oklahoma, Tow knows students in college whose parents monitor their whereabouts using tracking apps.

    “Parents would get push notifications when their students left dorms and returned home to dorms,” says Tow, 22, majoring in social work and gender studies.

    Tow also notices a “general sense of disillusionment” in her generation. She cites statistics that fewer teenagers today are getting driver’s licenses. “I think,” she says, “there is a correlation between students being able to drive and students having sex.”

    Another cause for declining sex rates could be easy access to online porn, experts say. By the age of 17, three-quarters of teenagers have viewed pornography online, with the average age of first exposure at 12, according to a report earlier this year by Common Sense Media, a nonprofit child advocacy group.

    “Porn is becoming sex ed for young people,” says Justine Fonte, a New York-based sex education teacher. She says pornography shapes and skews adolescent ideas about sexual acts, power and intimacy. “You can rewind, fast forward, play as much as you want. It doesn’t require you to think about how the person is feeling.”

    IS THERE AN EVOLVING DEFINITION OF CONSENT?

    Several experts said they hoped the decline could be partly attributed to a broader understanding of consent and an increase in “comprehensive” sex education being taught in many schools, which has become a target in ongoing culture wars.

    Unlike abstinence-only programs, the lessons include discussion on understanding healthy relationships, gender identity, sexual orientation and preventing unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections. Contrary to what critics think, she said, young people are more likely to delay the onset of sexual activity if they have access to sex education.

    Some schools and organizations supplement sex education with peer counseling, where teens are trained to speak to each other about relationships and other topics that young people might feel uncomfortable raising with adults.

    Annika, 14, is a peer ambassador trained by Planned Parenthood and a high school freshman in Southern California. She’s offered guidance to friends in toxic relationships and worries about the ubiquity of porn among her peers, especially male friends. It’s clear to her that the pandemic stunted sex lives.

    The CDC’s 2023 survey, which is currently underway, will show if the decline was temporary. Annika suspects it will show a spike. In her school, at least, students seem to be making up for lost time.

    “People lost those two years so they’re craving it more,” she said. She has often been in a school bathroom where couples in stalls next to her are engaged in sexual activities.

    Again, the definition of sex? “Any sexual act,” Annika says. “And sexual intercourse is one type of act.”

    To get a truly accurate reading of teen sexuality, the evolution of language needs to be taken into account, says Dr. John Santelli, a Columbia University professor who specializes in adolescent sexuality.

    “The word intercourse used to have another meaning,” he points out. “Intercourse used to just mean talking.”

    ___

    Jocelyn Gecker is an education reporter for The Associated Press, based in San Francisco. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/jgecker

    ___

    The AP education team receives support from the Carnegie Corporation of New York. The AP is solely responsible for all content.

    Source link

  • Sex? Sexual intercourse? Neither? Teens weigh in on evolving definitions — and habits

    Sex? Sexual intercourse? Neither? Teens weigh in on evolving definitions — and habits

    SAN FRANCISCO — Situationships. “Sneaky links.” The “talking stage,” the flirtatious getting-to-know-you phase — typically done via text — that can lead to a hookup.

    High school students are having less sexual intercourse. That’s what the studies say. But that doesn’t mean they’re having less sex.

    The language of young love and lust, and the actions behind it, are evolving. And the shift is not being adequately captured in national studies, experts say.

    For years, studies have shown a decline in the rates of American high school students having sex. That trend continued, not surprisingly, in the first years of the pandemic, according to a recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The study found that 30% of teens in 2021 said they had ever had sex, down from 38% in 2019 and a huge drop from three decades ago, when more than half of teens reported having sex.

    The Associated Press took the findings to teenagers and experts around the country to ask for their interpretation. Parents: Some of the answers may surprise you.

    THE MEANING OF SEX: DEPENDS WHO YOU ASK

    For starters, what is the definition of sex?

    “Hmm. That’s a good question,” says Rose, 17, a junior at a New England high school.

    She thought about it for 20 seconds, then listed a range of possibilities for heterosexual sex, oral sex and relations between same-sex or LGBTQ partners. On her campus, short-term hookups — known as “situationships” — are typically low commitment and high risk from both health and emotional perspectives.

    There are also “sneaky links” — when you hook up in secret and don’t tell your friends. “I have a feeling a lot more people are quote unquote having sex — just not necessarily between a man and a woman.”

    For teens today, the conversation about sexuality is moving from a binary situation to a spectrum and so are the kinds of sex people are having. And while the vocabulary around sex is shifting, the main question on the CDC survey has been worded the same way since the government agency began its biannual study in 1991: Have you “ever had sexual intercourse?”

    “Honestly, that question is a little laughable,” says Kay, 18, who identifies as queer and attends a public high school near Lansing, Michigan. “There’s probably a lot of teenagers who are like, ‘No, I’ve never had sexual intercourse, but I’ve had other kinds of sex.’”

    The AP agreed to use teenagers’ first or middle names for this article because of a common concern they expressed about backlash at school, at home and on social media for speaking about their peers’ sex lives and LGBTQ+ relations.

    SEXUAL IDENTITY IS EVOLVING

    Several experts say the CDC findings could signal a shift in how teen sexuality is evolving, with gender fluidity becoming more common along with a decrease in stigma about identifying as not heterosexual.

    They point to another finding in this year’s study that found the proportion of high school kids who identify as heterosexual dropped to about 75%, down from about 89% in 2015, when the CDC began asking about sexual orientation. Meanwhile, the share who identified as lesbian, gay or bisexual rose to 15%, up from 8% in 2015.

    “I just wonder, if youth were in the room when the questions were being created, how they would be worded differently,” said Taryn Gal, executive director of the Michigan Organization on Adolescent Sexual Health.

    Sex is just one of the topics covered by the CDC study, called the Youth Risk Behavior Survey. One of the main sources of national data about high school students on a range of behaviors, it is conducted every two years and asks about 100 questions on topics including smoking, drinking, drug use, bullying, carrying guns and sex. More than 17,000 students at 152 public and private high schools across the country responded to the 2021 survey.

    “It’s a fine line we have to try to walk,” says Kathleen Ethier, director of the CDC’s Division of Adolescent and School Health, which leads the study.

    From a methodological standpoint, changing a question would make it harder to compare trends over time. The goal is to take a national snapshot of teenage behavior, with the understanding that questions might not capture all the nuance. “It doesn’t allow us to go as in depth in some areas as we would like,” Ethier says.

    The national survey, for example, does not ask about oral sex, which carries the risk of spreading sexually transmitted infections. As for “sexual intercourse,” Ethier says, “We try to use a term that we know young people understand, realizing that it may not encompass all the ways young people would define sex.”

    IS LESS TEEN SEX GOOD NEWS?

    Beyond semantics, there are a multitude of theories on why the reported rates of high school sex have steadily declined — and what it might say about American society.

    “I imagine some parents are rejoicing and some are concerned, and I think there is probably good cause for both,” says Sharon Hoover, co-director of the National Center for School Mental Health at the University of Maryland. Health officials like to see trends that result in fewer teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

    “But what we don’t know is what this means for the trajectory of young people,” Hoover says.

    This year’s decrease, the sharpest drop ever recorded, clearly had a lot to do with the pandemic, which kept kids isolated, cut off from friends and immersed in social media. Even when life started returning to normal, many kids felt uncomfortable with face-to-face interaction and found their skills in verbal communication had declined, Hoover said.

    The survey was conducted in the fall of 2021, just as many K-12 students returned to in-person classrooms after a year of online school.

    Several teens interviewed said that when schools reopened, they returned with intense social anxiety compounded by fears of catching COVID. That added a new layer to pre-pandemic concerns about sexual relations like getting pregnant or catching STIs.

    “I remember thinking, ‘What if I get sick? What if I get a disease? What if I don’t have the people skills for this?’” said Kay, the 18-year-old from Michigan. “All those ‘what ifs’ definitely affected my personal relationships, and how I interacted with strangers or personal partners.”

    Another fear is the prying eyes of parents, says college student Abby Tow, who wonders if helicopter parenting has played a role in what she calls the “baby-fication of our generation.” A senior at the University of Oklahoma, Tow knows students in college whose parents monitor their whereabouts using tracking apps.

    “Parents would get push notifications when their students left dorms and returned home to dorms,” says Tow, 22, majoring in social work and gender studies.

    Tow also notices a “general sense of disillusionment” in her generation. She cites statistics that fewer teenagers today are getting driver’s licenses. “I think,” she says, “there is a correlation between students being able to drive and students having sex.”

    Another cause for declining sex rates could be easy access to online porn, experts say. By the age of 17, three-quarters of teenagers have viewed pornography online, with the average age of first exposure at 12, according to a report earlier this year by Common Sense Media, a nonprofit child advocacy group.

    “Porn is becoming sex ed for young people,” says Justine Fonte, a New York-based sex education teacher. She says pornography shapes and skews adolescent ideas about sexual acts, power and intimacy. “You can rewind, fast forward, play as much as you want. It doesn’t require you to think about how the person is feeling.”

    IS THERE AN EVOLVING DEFINITION OF CONSENT?

    Several experts said they hoped the decline could be partly attributed to a broader understanding of consent and an increase in “comprehensive” sex education being taught in many schools, which has become a target in ongoing culture wars.

    Unlike abstinence-only programs, the lessons include discussion on understanding healthy relationships, gender identity, sexual orientation and preventing unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections. Contrary to what critics think, she said, young people are more likely to delay the onset of sexual activity if they have access to sex education.

    Some schools and organizations supplement sex education with peer counseling, where teens are trained to speak to each other about relationships and other topics that young people might feel uncomfortable raising with adults.

    Annika, 14, is a peer ambassador trained by Planned Parenthood and a high school freshman in Southern California. She’s offered guidance to friends in toxic relationships and worries about the ubiquity of porn among her peers, especially male friends. It’s clear to her that the pandemic stunted sex lives.

    The CDC’s 2023 survey, which is currently underway, will show if the decline was temporary. Annika suspects it will show a spike. In her school, at least, students seem to be making up for lost time.

    “People lost those two years so they’re craving it more,” she said. She has often been in a school bathroom where couples in stalls next to her are engaged in sexual activities.

    Again, the definition of sex? “Any sexual act,” Annika says. “And sexual intercourse is one type of act.”

    To get a truly accurate reading of teen sexuality, the evolution of language needs to be taken into account, says Dr. John Santelli, a Columbia University professor who specializes in adolescent sexuality.

    “The word intercourse used to have another meaning,” he points out. “Intercourse used to just mean talking.”

    ___

    Jocelyn Gecker is an education reporter for The Associated Press, based in San Francisco. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/jgecker

    ___

    The AP education team receives support from the Carnegie Corporation of New York. The AP is solely responsible for all content.

    Source link

  • Florida may ban girls’ period talk in elementary grades

    Florida may ban girls’ period talk in elementary grades

    Legislation moving in the Florida House would ban discussion of menstrual cycles and other human sexuality topics in elementary grades

    TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Legislation moving in the Florida House would ban discussion of menstrual cycles and other human sexuality topics in elementary grades.

    The bill sponsored by Republican Rep. Stan McClain would restrict public school instruction on human sexuality, sexually transmitted diseases and related topics to grades 6 through 12. McClain confirmed at a recent committee meeting that discussions about menstrual cycles would also be restricted to those grades.

    “So if little girls experience their menstrual cycle in 5th grade or 4th grade, will that prohibit conversations from them since they are in the grade lower than sixth grade?” asked state Rep. Ashley Gantt, a Democrat who taught in public schools and noted that girls as young as 10 can begin having periods.

    “It would,” McClain responded.

    The GOP-backed legislation cleared the House Education Quality Subcommittee on Wednesday by a 13-5 vote mainly along party lines. It would also allow parents to object to books and other materials their children are exposed to, require schools to teach that a person’s sexual identity is determined biologically at birth and set up more scrutiny of certain educational materials by the state Department of Education.

    McClain said the bill’s intent is to bring uniformity to sex education across all of Florida’s 67 school districts and provide more pathways for parents to object to books or other materials they find inappropriate for younger children.

    At the committee meeting, Gantt asked whether teachers could face punishment if they discuss menstruation with younger students.

    “My concern is they won’t feel safe to have those conversations with these little girls,” she said.

    McClain said “that would not be the intent” of the bill and that he is “amenable” to some changes to its language. The measure must be approved by another committee before it can reach the House floor; a similar bill is pending in the Senate.

    An email seeking comment was sent Saturday to the office of Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis, who is widely seen as a potential 2024 presidential candidate.

    Source link

  • Staying Healthy While Staying Open: The Polyamory Dilemma

    Staying Healthy While Staying Open: The Polyamory Dilemma

    Jan. 5, 2023 – Angie Ebba, 42, of Portland, OR, has two local girlfriends, one long-distance partner, and a platonic life partner. 

    Ebba is polyamorous, having multiple intimate romantic relationships at the same time. Her partners know about each other and have consented to the arrangement, she says. 

    Polyamory is becoming more common in the United States. In 2021, one in nine Americans said they’d been in polyamorous relationships, and one in six said they wanted to try it, according to a study by researchers at the Kinsey Institute. 

    While a high level of transparency is required to make polyamory work, those who practice it don’t always feel comfortable sharing their relationship status with health care professionals. The fear of disclosure is not unfounded. Of the those in the Kinsey study who said they weren’t and had never been interested in polyamory, fewer than 15% said they respect people who engage in the practice. 

    “I hear all the time from patients who have sexual questions and issues but are uncomfortable talking to their doctors or even other therapists,” says Ian Kerner, PhD, a psychotherapist and sex therapist in New York City. “As polyamorous systems are still on the outskirts of the mainstream, some doctors may have implicit biases or explicit judgments, especially if they are lacking in experience.”

    Roadblocks to Care

    People who practice polyamory face unique health issues. These include a potentially higher risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) from having multiple sexual partners, and anxiety or depression stemming from managing multiple relationships. 

    “It is of particular importance in OB/GYN given the risk of STI transmission, and its consequences such as infertility, vaginal discharge, and systemic illness,” says Cheruba Prabakar, MD, the CEO of Lamorinda Gynecology and Surgery in Lafayette, CA. “Disclosing information will allow the provider to think about the patient more holistically.”

    Ebba does not tell her doctors about her personal life. She knows other people in these relationships who have felt judged in clinical encounters, and she avoids disclosure unless absolutely necessary. 

    “Primarily, I don’t let my providers know because I’ve already in the past faced discrimination and awkwardness for being queer; I don’t want that for being poly as well,” she says. “If I can avoid it, I will.”

    A study from 2019 of 20 people in consensual non-monogamous relationships – which can include polyamory – found most of them reported challenges in addressing their health care needs related to lack of provider knowledge, not enough preventive screenings, and stigmas that impacted their health and trust in the medical system.

    “Polyamorous people often have trouble seeking out health care because they fear being judged by their doctor or other clinicians who don’t understand or respect their lifestyle choices,” says Akos Antwi, a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner and co-owner of Revive Therapeutic Services in Rhode Island and Massachusetts. “They may also be reluctant to share information about their relationships with providers who aren’t familiar with the complexities of polyamory.” 

    Sharon Flicker, PhD, a clinical psychologist and assistant professor of psychology at California State University-Sacramento, says she understands why people are worried about discussing the topic of multiple relationships with their health provider.

    “Health care providers’ interactions with patients are often shaped by their mono-normative assumptions, that monogamy is ideal and deviations from that ideal is pathological,” she says. “Non-disclosure presents a barrier to sensitive care that meets the individualized needs of the patient.” 

    Flicker says health care professionals can seek training to reduce their biases, and to better understand and address the unique needs of people involved in consensually non-monogamous relationships. In addition, offering to answer any questions that a doctor might have after disclosure can open the door to dialogue, according to Prabakar. 

    “They may be simply embarrassed to ask, as many may not be familiar with” polyamory, Prabakar says.

    People in polyamorous relationships also can look for affirming language on the websites of health providers, which may mention welcoming patients of all sexual orientations or gender identities. A first appointment can serve as an interview to find out what kind of terms a provider uses when referring to non-monogamy. 

    Safely Navigating Sexy Time With Multiple Partners

    Prabakar says sexual health and safety is at the forefront for her patients in polyamorous relationships because they are engaging with multiple partners. 

    She recommends anyone who has multiple partners use condoms and dental dams for the prevention of STIs, like herpes and gonorrhea, in addition to receiving regular screening tests for the diseases. 

    Tikva Wolf, from Asheville, NC, says she’s been in polyamorous relationships for 20 years. She says she has strict boundaries for engaging in new romantic relationships to protect her sexual health: She has sex only with people who know their current STI status, are clear communicators, and use protection. 

    “If the conversation feels awkward, or they don’t seem to know what they’ve been tested for, I don’t engage in sex with them,” she says. “I don’t start romantic partnerships with people unless they’re on the same page about relationships, and I don’t have casual sex.” 

    Wolf says her actions toward transparency mirror the greater community of people who engage in polyamorous relationships.

    “Monogamy is the default setting, so there’s a tendency to be more transparent about specific preferences upfront in any relationship that doesn’t quite fit into that standard box,” she says. 

    Some research backs up Wolf’s hypothesis. A 2015 study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that polyamorous people reported more lifetime sexual partners than people in monogamous relationships, but were more likely to report using condoms and be tested for STIs. About one-quarter of monogamous partners reported having sex outside of their primary relationship but not informing their primary partner. 

    Kerner explains that each partner in a polyamorous relationship may have different ideas about sexual activity; some partners may be interested in casual sex, while others are interested in maintaining steady primary and secondary relationships. 

    “These systems are always different, and without clear boundaries, honesty, and communication – for example around the use of protection – the potential to contract an STI within the system increases,” and the potential for the polyamorous relationship to not work increases, he says. 

    Taking Care of Mental Health

    Not only does a polyamorous lifestyle require talking about sexual health and romantic boundaries, it demands an openness with feelings as they come up. 

    “Couples in a polyamorous relationship don’t fully anticipate the emotional response they might have to their partner being with another person,” says David Helfand, PsyD, a therapist in St. Johnsbury, VT, who has worked with many polyamorous couples.

    People may have feelings of insecurity or jealousy, which can lead to anxiety in navigating the complexity of multiple relationships. 

    “The first time your spouse goes on a date with another person, or you hear them in the bedroom with someone else, it can create an intense emotion that you might not know how to process or have been prepared for,” Helfand says.

    Seeing a therapist can help with processing emotions raised by dating multiple people. Ebba says she sees a therapist regularly, in part for help setting boundaries on how much time to spend with different partners. 

    “Poly relationships can be great because you have more support people in your life,” she says. “But you’re also giving more of your time and energy away too.”

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  • 7 Safer Sex Mistakes Guys Make That Lead to Them Getting STIs

    7 Safer Sex Mistakes Guys Make That Lead to Them Getting STIs

    7 Safer Sex Mistakes Guys Make That Lead to Them Getting STIs

    When it comes to the basics of sex education, often the only things people learn about are the importance of wearing condoms and STI transmission — in short, they’re taught how to prevent worst-case scenarios, rather than educated in a positive, pleasure-affirming way about the great ways that sex can be a wonderful part of their lives.

    Unfortunately, even that STI-centric sex ed focus tends not to register for many people, because STI transmission still occurs all too frequently.

    RELATED: 4 Key Tips That’ll Help to Keep You STI-Free

    But maybe you were taught about these things many years ago — or even not at all.

    So in order to help prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections, AskMen spoke with three sex experts about common mistakes people make that lead to negative sexual health consequences. Here’s what they had to say:

    Not Wearing Condoms

    Condoms are one of the most useful tools there are when it comes to having consequence-free sex. When used properly, they’re highly effective when it comes to preventing pregnancy and also the transmission of sexual infections.

    “Condoms are hugely important in curbing the spread of STIs,” says SKYN Condoms’ sex and intimacy expert and author Gigi Engle. “Everyone should be using them to protect themselves.”

    Wearing Condoms Incorrectly

    Unfortunately, wearing a condom alone does not guarantee protection from infections. Incorrect condom use is “another common mistake that can lead to unintended pregnancy or STIs,” says Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist and founder of Modern Intimacy.

    So, let’s go through some ways people screw up condom usage:

    • Using an expired or punctured condom. (“Before you wrap it up, be sure to check that the packaging is intact, and it is not expired,” says Balestrieri.)

    • Opening a condom with your teeth. (“It might look sexy to open a condom wrapper with your teeth, but it increases the odds of the condom being torn or punctured,” she adds.)

    • Re-using a condom, whether with different partners or even with the same one. (“Definitely do not reuse a condom,” Balestrieri cautions. “It is a one-time-use product and can more readily tear or break when used more than once.”)

    • Putting it on incorrectly (“Leave room at the tip of the condom, but be sure to press the air out of it after it is rolled on, to avoid ruptures during use,” she explains.)

    • Wearing the wrong size of condom. (Too large or too small and there’s a greater chance it’ll come off mid-coitus.)

    RELATED: What to Do If You Hate Wearing Condoms

    Not Getting Tested Frequently Enough

    Apart from condom usage, regular testing is also an important way we can cut down on the spread of STIs. One of the main reasons for that is that people often don’t know when they’ve contracted an infection.

    “One of the most common symptoms of an STI is no symptom at all,” says sexologist Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast.

    As such, if you’re not getting tested, you have no reliable way of knowing what your STI status is.

    “If you’re sexually active, talk to your healthcare provider about getting tested,” O’Reilly says. “Their recommendation in terms of frequency of testing will vary according to your risk for STI transmission. If you don’t have a healthcare provider, there are many options for ordering STI testing kits online and local clinics offer free testing from coast to coast.”

    “It can be daunting, scary, annoying, and time-consuming to schedule regular STI tests, but making assumptions about your sexual health can lead to unintended transmission and more severe symptoms or complications,” Balestrieri says.

    “The CDC recommends that folks with multiple partners ought to get tested for STIs every three to six months, and that includes any kind of sex (oral, vaginal, anal),” she adds.

    Not Taking PrEP

    While most STI transmission is reasonably manageable, some are more serious than others — the most serious being the human immunodeficiency virus, or HIV, which can lead to AIDS if left untreated.

    Pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, is a leap forward in our ability to prevent HIV transmission, and is revolutionary in the way it’s altered the conversation around HIV transmission in the gay community.

    “If you’re having sex with multiple partners, it’s a really good idea to be on PrEP to avoid getting HIV,” says Engle. “It’s a daily medication that is 99% effective.”

    Not Educating Themselves on STIs

    “Many people conflate their self-perception with their risk of getting an STI,” says Balestrieri. “They may underestimate the prevalence of STIs and/or believe only people they have othered in some way could be positive. Get educated, and don’t rely on self-righteousness as a form of risk reduction. People from all walks of life can and do test positive for STIs.”

    RELATED: How to Diagnose and Treat Chlamydia

    One form of miseducation Balestrieri points out? Believing that oral contraception stops STIs.

    “The birth control pill is designed to prohibit pregnancy and has no recorded efficacy in thwarting the transmission of STIs,” she says. “Do not rely on oral contraception as a form of risk reduction for STIs.”

    RELATED: Sexually Transmitted Infections That Show on Your Face

    Leaving the Onus of Responsibility on Your Partner

    For straight guys, sex can sometimes be a game of letting the woman decide. If they see it as being “up to her” whether the sex happens or not, they may also take a more passive role when it comes to whether condoms are used.

    After all, if you can’t get pregnant, a partner willing to forgo condoms may be seen as a bonus rather than as a red flag. But that’s an unproductive way of thinking about a conversation that should be a two-way street, O’Reilly points out.

    “Your gender and genitals do not determine the role you ought to play in safer sex,” she says. “Everyone can play a role, so step up and talk about safer sex practices from the onset.”

    Not Talking About Safer Sex

    “Communication makes sex safer and more pleasurable,” O’Reilly says. “And when you talk about safer sex, it can put you at ease to enjoy sex with fewer worries and distractions.”

    O’Reilly suggests these conversation starters to help you handle the talk smoothly:

    • “I was last tested X months ago. How about you?”

    • “Before we get to the good stuff, let’s make sure we’re both feeling comfortable about safety precautions…”

    • “I brought condoms. Is there anything else you want to use to reduce risk?”

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  • 7 Safer Sex Mistakes Guys Make That Lead to Them Getting STIs

    7 Safer Sex Mistakes Guys Make That Lead to Them Getting STIs

    7 Safer Sex Mistakes Guys Make That Lead to Them Getting STIs

    When it comes to the basics of sex education, often the only things people learn about are the importance of wearing condoms and STI transmission — in short, they’re taught how to prevent worst-case scenarios, rather than educated in a positive, pleasure-affirming way about the great ways that sex can be a wonderful part of their lives.

    Unfortunately, even that STI-centric sex ed focus tends not to register for many people, because STI transmission still occurs all too frequently.

    RELATED: 4 Key Tips That’ll Help to Keep You STI-Free

    But maybe you were taught about these things many years ago — or even not at all.

    So in order to help prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections, AskMen spoke with three sex experts about common mistakes people make that lead to negative sexual health consequences. Here’s what they had to say:

    Not Wearing Condoms

    Condoms are one of the most useful tools there are when it comes to having consequence-free sex. When used properly, they’re highly effective when it comes to preventing pregnancy and also the transmission of sexual infections.

    “Condoms are hugely important in curbing the spread of STIs,” says SKYN Condoms’ sex and intimacy expert and author Gigi Engle. “Everyone should be using them to protect themselves.”

    Wearing Condoms Incorrectly

    Unfortunately, wearing a condom alone does not guarantee protection from infections. Incorrect condom use is “another common mistake that can lead to unintended pregnancy or STIs,” says Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist and founder of Modern Intimacy.

    So, let’s go through some ways people screw up condom usage:

    • Using an expired or punctured condom. (“Before you wrap it up, be sure to check that the packaging is intact, and it is not expired,” says Balestrieri.)

    • Opening a condom with your teeth. (“It might look sexy to open a condom wrapper with your teeth, but it increases the odds of the condom being torn or punctured,” she adds.)

    • Re-using a condom, whether with different partners or even with the same one. (“Definitely do not reuse a condom,” Balestrieri cautions. “It is a one-time-use product and can more readily tear or break when used more than once.”)

    • Putting it on incorrectly (“Leave room at the tip of the condom, but be sure to press the air out of it after it is rolled on, to avoid ruptures during use,” she explains.)

    • Wearing the wrong size of condom. (Too large or too small and there’s a greater chance it’ll come off mid-coitus.)

    RELATED: What to Do If You Hate Wearing Condoms

    Not Getting Tested Frequently Enough

    Apart from condom usage, regular testing is also an important way we can cut down on the spread of STIs. One of the main reasons for that is that people often don’t know when they’ve contracted an infection.

    “One of the most common symptoms of an STI is no symptom at all,” says sexologist Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast.

    As such, if you’re not getting tested, you have no reliable way of knowing what your STI status is.

    “If you’re sexually active, talk to your healthcare provider about getting tested,” O’Reilly says. “Their recommendation in terms of frequency of testing will vary according to your risk for STI transmission. If you don’t have a healthcare provider, there are many options for ordering STI testing kits online and local clinics offer free testing from coast to coast.”

    “It can be daunting, scary, annoying, and time-consuming to schedule regular STI tests, but making assumptions about your sexual health can lead to unintended transmission and more severe symptoms or complications,” Balestrieri says.

    “The CDC recommends that folks with multiple partners ought to get tested for STIs every three to six months, and that includes any kind of sex (oral, vaginal, anal),” she adds.

    Not Taking PrEP

    While most STI transmission is reasonably manageable, some are more serious than others — the most serious being the human immunodeficiency virus, or HIV, which can lead to AIDS if left untreated.

    Pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, is a leap forward in our ability to prevent HIV transmission, and is revolutionary in the way it’s altered the conversation around HIV transmission in the gay community.

    “If you’re having sex with multiple partners, it’s a really good idea to be on PrEP to avoid getting HIV,” says Engle. “It’s a daily medication that is 99% effective.”

    Not Educating Themselves on STIs

    “Many people conflate their self-perception with their risk of getting an STI,” says Balestrieri. “They may underestimate the prevalence of STIs and/or believe only people they have othered in some way could be positive. Get educated, and don’t rely on self-righteousness as a form of risk reduction. People from all walks of life can and do test positive for STIs.”

    RELATED: How to Diagnose and Treat Chlamydia

    One form of miseducation Balestrieri points out? Believing that oral contraception stops STIs.

    “The birth control pill is designed to prohibit pregnancy and has no recorded efficacy in thwarting the transmission of STIs,” she says. “Do not rely on oral contraception as a form of risk reduction for STIs.”

    RELATED: Sexually Transmitted Infections That Show on Your Face

    Leaving the Onus of Responsibility on Your Partner

    For straight guys, sex can sometimes be a game of letting the woman decide. If they see it as being “up to her” whether the sex happens or not, they may also take a more passive role when it comes to whether condoms are used.

    After all, if you can’t get pregnant, a partner willing to forgo condoms may be seen as a bonus rather than as a red flag. But that’s an unproductive way of thinking about a conversation that should be a two-way street, O’Reilly points out.

    “Your gender and genitals do not determine the role you ought to play in safer sex,” she says. “Everyone can play a role, so step up and talk about safer sex practices from the onset.”

    Not Talking About Safer Sex

    “Communication makes sex safer and more pleasurable,” O’Reilly says. “And when you talk about safer sex, it can put you at ease to enjoy sex with fewer worries and distractions.”

    O’Reilly suggests these conversation starters to help you handle the talk smoothly:

    • “I was last tested X months ago. How about you?”

    • “Before we get to the good stuff, let’s make sure we’re both feeling comfortable about safety precautions…”

    • “I brought condoms. Is there anything else you want to use to reduce risk?”

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  • Can Shockwave Therapy Treat ED? Here’s What You Need to Know

    Can Shockwave Therapy Treat ED? Here’s What You Need to Know

    Can Shockwave Therapy Treat Your ED? Here’s What You Need to Know

    Erectile dysfunction is a common issue men deal with — one that shouldn’t be embarrassing to talk about or seek treatment for.

    According to the Cleveland Clinic, about 1 in 10 men will suffer from ED in their lifetime. If you’re wondering whether you fall into this category, the clinic defines trouble getting and maintaining an erection more than 50% of the time as an indicator of ED.

    Luckily, plenty of treatment options available today can help get you back in the sack in no time. But if popping a pill before every sexual encounter to maintain an erection seems like a mood killer, shockwave therapy, a non-medication alternative treatment for ED, might interest you.

    RELATED: How to Get Harder Erections

    If you’re wondering just how safe it is to pump your private parts with electricity, though, here’s everything you need to know about shockwave therapy for erectile dysfunction.

    What Is Shockwave Therapy for Erectile Dysfunction?

     Shockwave therapy has been around for decades and has successfully treated medical issues that involve soft tissue, from sports injuries like tennis elbow and jumper’s knee and other issues.

    “Shockwave therapy has been used for treating kidney stones for decades,” says Dr. Tracy Gapin, a urologist based in Sarasota, Florida. “Studies show that when done at a very low intensity, shockwave therapy can stimulate a process called angiogenesis, which is the creation of new blood vessels or new blood flow.”

    RELATED: The Science Behind How Erections Work, Explained

    I’ll bet you can see where this is going already. As Dr. Laura Purdy, wisp medical advisor and sexual wellness clinic physician, explains, this technology is helpful for men who have issues with vessels that carry blood through the body — which can become damaged from a number of issues such as high blood pressure, cholesterol or diabetes.

    “Shockwave therapy is non-surgical and non-invasive — and can be done with numbing cream applied for minimal to no discomfort,” Purdy says.

    How long does shockwave therapy for ED take?

    Treatment protocol varies by the patient’s needs, but the average treatment time ranges between 15 and 20 minutes.

    “Typically, we do treatment twice a week for three weeks, six treatments total, then take a break for a month to let it work and then potentially do another six treatments after that,” Gapin explains.

    It’s important to note that shockwave therapy is rarely utilized as the sole treatment for ED. Gapin says in addition to shockwave therapy, he works with patients to address all other aspects of their health that might impact sexual function — from hormone imbalances to correcting stress, gut microbiome issues and more.

    “If you don’t address [these issues], then you’re not going to get the results,” he says.

    During the duration of treatment, patients are encouraged to use a vacuum erection device or ‘penis pump.’

    “Many clinics will utilize vacuum erection devices after the procedure for a certain amount of time to encourage blood flow to the area where the healing and remodeling and blood vessels are occurring,” Purdy explains.

    Who is a candidate for shockwave therapy for ED?

    Because shockwave therapy provides improved blood flow, the best candidates for shockwave therapy are men who have ED due to issues with the functioning of their vascular system.

    “Shockwave therapy is only intended for people with vasculogenic causes for their ED –something dysfunctional in their vessels that allow blood flow in and out of the penis,” says Purdy.

    RELATED: I Tried Out Shockwave Therapy for Longer, Harder Erections

    “This will not be an effective treatment for someone with psychogenic (stress-related) ED, medication-induced ED (such as with antidepressants) or neurologic ED (such as in the case of spinal cord injury).”

    The duration of symptoms and type of ED are also factors to consider.

    “Men who have very mild ED or mild issues with sexual performance are much more likely to respond than men who have severe ED,” Gapin explains. He also notes that men who have experienced ED issues for a shorter duration often respond better to shockwave therapy than men who have had ED for longer.

    What are the risks of shockwave therapy for ED?

    If you’re still on the fence about shockwave therapy, the overall risks involved are pretty low.

    “There is a potential for bruising or trauma to the area, which is very rare,” says Purdy. “There may be some discomfort if inadequate anesthesia is used. However, many patients find that they can actually tolerate the procedure without anesthesia and with minimal pain.”

    There’s also the potential risk that treatment may not yield results — which is why it’s important to discuss whether or not you’re a candidate for shockwave therapy with a medical professional before treatment.

    What is the success rate of shockwave therapy for ED?

    There’s plenty of research to indicate that shockwave therapy is, in fact, effective for treating ED when used on candidates with vascular issues. When it comes to success rates, Gapin stresses the importance of finding a shockwave therapy provider that addresses the patient as a whole to yield the most successful results.

    “It’s tough to give a specific number here on success because, unfortunately, there are a lot of clinics out there that will treat anyone who is willing to give a credit card,” says Gapin.

    If you’re interested in shockwave therapy for ED, it’s important to find a provider that will not only do the due diligence of reviewing your medical history to determine candidacy for the treatment, but one that will offer treatment beyond shockwave therapy for best results.

    RELATED: Exercises for Stronger Erections

    “We see over 80% success rates because we carefully select patients who would be appropriate candidates,” says Gapin. “We also emphasize that we only get those results because we treat the entire human — understanding that a man has multiple other systems at play, which can affect his performance.”

    While shockwave therapy can be an effective treatment for the right candidates, it’s important to rule out any larger potential medical issues with your doctor first. Erectile dysfunction can often be a symptom of something else happening in the body that needs to be addressed, so scheduling an appointment with your doctor should be your first step.

    How much does shockwave therapy for ED cost?

    Currently, shockwave therapy for ED is not covered by insurance in the United States. Depending on where you reside, shockwave therapy treatments can cost around $400 to $500 per session, with many providers offering discounts on packages and providing payment plans to help make the treatment more accessible.

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  • How Much Is Too Much Self-Pleasure? We Asked the Experts

    How Much Is Too Much Self-Pleasure? We Asked the Experts

    How Much Is Too Much Self-Pleasure? We Asked the Experts

    You might not give a second thought to your masturbation, that private habit that relieves tension, makes you forget about your worries and – no judgment – is a nice way to pass the afternoon. Since most men will begin to masturbate in their early adolescence and continue to pleasure themselves far into adulthood, thinking about how this type of sexual activity affects your life probably doesn’t occupy much of your brain space.

    “Like other animals, mating for humans remains a biological drive like eating and drinking water, sleeping, and protecting ourselves. These days, we no longer need to increase our population but sexuality remains on our list of adult needs because of its other benefits,” explains sex and relationship expert Dee Wagner, LPC, BC-DMT. “Around five years old, we tend to discover that touching our genitals creates a lot of pleasant sensation. The messages we receive about this self-touch influences whether our masturbation shifts into a private activity or a secret, shameful one. If masturbation is normalized and named a private activity – like cleaning our bodies – we are less likely to develop unhealthy shame around this kind of self-touch.”

    RELATED: Dealing With Porn Addiction

    The good news, as Wagner says, is that taking time to understand your own erogenous zones is a healthy practice that can improve your sex life and sexual, make you a more balanced person, and allow you to freely explore your fetishes.

    The bad news? There can actually be some pretty serious risks to your physical and emotional health when it comes to masturbation, specifically if frequent masturbation may be turning into chronic or compulsive masturbation. The truth is, there are many ways your body responds to this frequent feel-good motion, and not all of the reactions are positive. While you might not be keen to delve deeply into the motivations behind masturbation, it is important to be aware of what you’re risking when you opt to self-pleasure.

    Here’s what you need to know about jerking off, from the risks and the benefits to the nitty, gritty details:

    1. What Is Masturbation?

    As Angie Gunn, a sex therapy expert at Talkspace explains, “Masturbation is the act of stimulating your own body and brain to create pleasure, usually involving genital touching or other sexual play on your own. Some people engage in masturbation with others watching or doing so as well, this can be a fun form of foreplay while serving the dual purpose of providing a partner with information about how you like to touch yourself. Some people enjoy the use of toys, pornography, erotica or other materials to aid in masturbation,” as well as numerous different masturbation techniques.

    To put it differently: anytime you find yourself stimulated by something you see, hear or touch, or you desire to feel sexual so you find something that turns you on, that’s masturbation. While the majority of self-play is considered and conducted as a solo act, you can also use your partner as part of the process. For some women, it can be attractive to watch their partner pleasure himself, before she jumps in on the action and goes for a ride. There are many masturbation toys on the market, many of which might give your hand a break or assist in getting you to the grand finale faster than you could achieve it on your own.

    2. How Common Is Masturbation?

    As many sex studies show, it’s important to note that unless you had a way of following every adult everywhere they went and monitored every move – or ahem, stroke – they made, statistics about masturbation are more of an estimate than proven fact. However, according to Indiana University’s National Survey Of Sexual Health And Behavior, it’s estimated that more than 50% of men masturbate regularly, ranging from a few times a month up to four times a week. “This number is higher with younger men beginning in early adolescence, and does not necessarily vary based on whether the man is in a relationship or not,” Gunn says. “From my own observations, one to two times a week is the norm for men ages 25 to 45.”

    Regardless of which side of the spectrum you land on, sex and relationship therapist Courtney Geter, LMFT says the amount of time you spend jerking off might vary heavily depending on how you update that taken-or-not status on Facebook. “Frequency of masturbation depends on each particular male and what he considers masturbating. Some men masturbate daily whereas others masturbate weekly or monthly. Frequency may also depend on relationship status. Although masturbation is acceptable in a relationship, some men may masturbate less when a partner is available,” Geter explains. “Some men may increase masturbation when relationships end or the frequency may not change. Age and refractory period (amount of time to obtain erection after ejaculation) could also impact frequency as well. As men age, the refractory period becomes longer. Though orgasm can occur separate from ejaculation, many times the occur simultaneously. “

    3. Recognizing the Signs of Compulsive Masturbation

    It’s an important question to raise: is too much of a good thing potentially dangerous ? The motives behind why people, and especially men, decide to sit down in front of their computer or in the dark comfort of their home and let one loose vary greatly, depending on where they are in their life, what they need and what they’re currently thinking about or struggling with. “Individuals choose to masturbate to meet sexual needs, relieve boredom, improve mood, alleviate stress, facilitate sleep, or relaxation. These needs and desires don’t change when someone is in a relationship, solo sex time is still important and valuable for personal self care and fulfillment,” Gunn explains.

    RELATED: I Was Becoming Addicted to Masturbation, So I Quit – Here’s What It Did for My Life

    But within this path to finding happiness all by your bad self, can it affect your life, health and relationships? Here sex experts explain:

    It’s Your Choice – and You’ll Know When It’s Too Much

    Chocolates, cakes, booze, tequila shots – all things that aren’t exactly good for you, but hey, are OK in moderation. But the amount of sugar intake (or booze) you can handle might not be the same as your brother or your best friend. “There is no definitive amount of masturbation that is too much; on the contrary, masturbation itself presents no inherent harm or potential damage. The individual person then must determine what is a good amount for them, the same way they decide how many cookies to eat or how much television to watch,” Gunn says. “It’s a behavioral choice, a choice which has marked health benefits including reducing cortisol (stress hormone) through the release of dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins, improving sleep and body image, reducing pain, bettering your sex life and improving cardiovascular health, and mood.”

    It’s Too Much When You Aren’t Participating in Other Parts of Your Life

    You might be able to spend all day in bed, watching porn on repeat, only pausing to order takeout or catch the score of the game, but if masturbating is making you less than social and you’re missing deadlines at work, you might need a breather, stat. “Masturbation is healthy and it is part of sexual health and necessary to maintain hormone levels,” Dawn Michael, Ph.D., relationship expert and author says. “There is only a problem when masturbation becomes a replacement for daily actives that one should be doing in life, such as school, sleep, work, relationships and more.”

    4. Compulsive Masturbation Can Mask Anxiety Issues

    Though it’s definitely rare, there might be some mental health issues tied to why you’re stroking one out on the regular, up to multiple times a day. “Some men do have OCD or other mental disorders that masturbation becomes the outlet for and is used as the catalyst for other activities,” Michael explains.

    From having so much anxiety about a particular period in your life – losing your job, the passing away of a family member, the end of a relationship, or other trying events – to becoming obsessive and out of control, here are some dangerous mental side effects to watch out for:

    Your Penis Is Raw Because You Stroke So Much and So Hard

    At times, chronic masturbation can become too frequent, creating conflict in the relationship or even physical injury, causing a painful erection. In regards to injury, some men can masturbate too often, resulting in desensitivity and rawness on the penis, or injury to the soft tissues of the penis,” Geter says. “Typically, this compulsive behavior stems from an increase in anxiety or inability to manage anxiety with other coping skills.”

    You Can No Longer ‘Finish’ During Normal Intercourse

    If you once enjoyed orgasming at the same time with your partner, but now you can’t seem to get there unless you’re doing it on your own, you might have developed a mental block due to masturbation. “Although not detrimental to a man’s health, chronic masturbation can also impact enjoyment or pleasure of other sexual activities with a partner. The brain learns that masturbation feels good. When other equally enjoyable stimulation is introduced after long periods of masturbation, a man can have trouble with orgasm or ejaculation since the stimulation of a vagina, mouth, or partner’s hand is not the same as that of the man’s own hand,” Geter says. “Many men present to my office with this concern. After behavioral modification treatment, they are able to orgasm and ejaculate to different stimuli. One tool I suggest men take advantage of is a male masturbation sleeve. This sleeve helps simulate a vagina, mouth, or rectum, though they are not replacements for those body parts.”

    5. Compulsive Masturbation Can Impact Your Relationships

    It’s a tricky road to go down, as Gunn explains, when you have masturbation as part of your sexual routine with your partner. Though perfectly healthy, and not exactly a health risk to your body, it could be troublesome for your heart if you and your partner begin to argue or drift apart, thanks to your masturbation habit. That being said – maintaining a masturbation habit, even once you’re happily married, is OK – as long as you talk about it together.

    “One of the common messages related to masturbation shaming is the idea that once you’re partnered, they gain ownership of your sex and your genitals, requiring their involvement or permission in every expression. This is a really harmful approach to relationships and leads to many conflicts, sexual repression and secrecy. Every person, partnered or single, retains private ownership of their genitals and can choose when to share them with others, and how to enter into agreements with others around the use of their sexual self,” Gunn says. “I encourage all my clients to maintain masturbation as a part of any relationship agreements in order to ensure the protection of their sexual identity, control over their ability to have pleasure on their own terms at times, and creating erotic mystery to allow for increased desire in a relationship. If respected and continued on both sides, masturbation provides fantasy material, sexual relief, and reignited desire for partnered sex.”

    However, if you’re starting to not want to have sex with your partner, Gunn says talking it out and really, truly getting to the root of the issues is key. “Clients with relationship strain, differences in libido or desire from their partner, or challenges with depression, trauma, anxiety or obsessive compulsive disorder may increase masturbation as a coping tool,” she says. “In these cases the potential harm done is not related to the masturbation itself, but to the distress experienced as a result and the other factors driving the behavior.”

    6. Compulsive Masturbation Can Negatively Impact Your Orgasms

    If you can’t seem to find the same joy – with or without the use of your hand or someone else’s – you might be desensitizing yourself in a dangerous way. “Some men will talk about reduced intensity of orgasms after frequent masturbation. This is a result of extended periods of refractory, the time after you climax when your body is releasing additional inhibitory (feel-good) chemicals in your brain, which basically prevent your body from coming down between periods of arousal. During this extended refractory, any orgasm experienced would be weaker until you give your body the chance to process the chemicals fully,” Gunn explains.

    “The refractory period is different for each person and varies by age, body chemistry, diet and genetics, so give yourself some grace. If you’re concerned about changes to your orgasms as a result of masturbation, try reducing your masturbation frequency a bit, adding more time between episodes, or not always climaxing during masturbation. The practice of edging – coming to the point of climax and then backing off – multiple times and over the course of a few days, has been shown to increase intensity of orgasms. Long term, increased orgasms have been linked to increased sexual pleasure on the whole.”

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