It’s also key to have honest conversations with your sexual partners. “The burden shouldn’t be all one-sided,” says Dunne. “An open dialogue and sexual health transparency with whomever you choose to have sex with is vital if you want to completely remove those worries.”
How to talk about sexual health with your partners
Of course, having honest conversations about your sexual health is easier said than done. In fact, for many people, sitting down and talking about STIs and safe sex may feel downright intimidating – or even a little mood-killing.
Here are some tips on how to start prioritising openness in your sexual relationships:
If you’re using dating apps, include something about sexual health on your profile
“Sharing information that’s so personal, such as disclosing your sexual health status – especially on a dating app – can be scary and feel stigmatising, but to keep yourself and others safe, it’s important to be honest and open,” says Dunne.
She adds: “This doesn’t necessarily have to mean you share your actual status, but you can put something as simple as ‘sexual health advocate’ on your profile.”
Get clued up
Before you have a conversation, it’s important that you yourself are in the know when it comes to sexual health and practicing safe sex. Many people assume that sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) are only spread through certain sexual behaviours like having multiple partners, but that isn’t true. Most STIs are spread through sexual contact with an infected person, but some infections are transmitted in ways you may not expect. This includes kissing!
Keep the conversation light and easy
While it’s good to educate your matches, there’s a difference between disclosing and debating – try to keep it light and straightforward.
“Creating a safe space with a potential partner to talk about STIs will help remove the stigma and shame,” she says. “When discussing initially, refrain from going into too much detail – but keep it light, casual and easy. You don’t have to go into details about where you contracted any STIs, but it’s good to be open about your experiences, in order to expect the same in return.”
Try the tech
If conversations are feeling really awkward, there is another option. Sexual health sharing app Zults allows you to download your results and send them to your partner via a link, QR code or bluetooth, so you can avoid the question-and-answer session all together. Handy.
Remember, if your partner isn’t up for the conversation, they may not be the right partner for you
“Continuing a sexual relationship with someone who will not discuss their sexual health will ultimately come down to a personal decision,” says Dunne. “Make sure you are informed of the risks involved and always take steps to protect yourself.”
The sex tech industry has conditioned us to think of toys in terms of male and female, penis and vagina, but that’s reductive and inaccurate, and it contributes to a larger narrative about the relationship between genitals and gender. It’s unhelpful, and I have a lot of feelings about it. We opt to be as specific as possible and use anatomical terms to describe individual erogenous zones—and there are way more than just P and V.
The vulva is the exterior part of the vagina. It includes the labia majora, labia minora, the urethra, and the clitoris. As the center of the erogenous nerves of the vulva, it’s often been said that the clitoris has roughly 8,000 nerve endings, but because the external part of the clitoris is literally just the tip of the iceberg in regards to its size, new research puts that number between 9,852 to 11,086 never endings, depending on the person. The internal structures of the clitoris extend down to either side of the vagina, which is where you’ll find the G-spot—the area stimulated by toys that curve toward the front of your body.
The phallus is what’s commonly referred to as the shaft of the penis, and it includes a couple of erogenous zones. The glans is the top of the phallus, usually referred to as the “head,” and the frenulum is a thin strip of connective tissue on the underside of the glans that can be particularly sensitive to targeted stimulation. Last but not least, the anus is, well … it’s the butthole. The rectum is the interior portion that attaches to the anus. Both of these areas can be sensitive to internal and external stimulation.
For people born with phalluses, there’s an additional erogenous zone here: the prostate or P-spot. This is a walnut-sized gland that lives between the internal structures of the penis and the rectum, and it can be reached by toys that curve toward the front of your body. But even those without a prostate can thoroughly enjoy anal sex, anal vibrators, or anal play of any kind, so don’t limit your sexual pleasure possibilities just because you don’t have a P-spot.
That’s all changed. “To be honest, I probably have missed out on a lot of dates because of the way Hinge is set up. You can’t search for keywords in your direct messages. You can’t search names. You can’t search by location.” But it hasn’t stopped him.
The longer we spoke, the more it became evident how much his story was part of a growing chorus of power users hungry for romance but bound by the sometimes unfair rules of the game.
Our uneven dependence on dating apps is to be expected, University of Warwick professor Carolina Bandinelli told me when we spoke about Gen Z’s push for dating alternatives. Bandinelli’s research focuses on the shifting cultural codes of online relationships, and over the years she has noticed app makers have gotten eerily good at “replicating the solutionistic ideology of digital technology.”
Even as younger generations bring a new look to dating culture, which has contributed to thinning profit margins for tech companies, “I believe we are going to live in a world where dating apps are very much present,” Bandinelli says. “But they are not the only way people meet—they have never been, for that matter.”
Got a Tip?
Do you have an unusual story about an experience using dating apps? How has the internet shaped your relationship to romance, sex, and desire? Email jason_parham@wired.com with the subject header “WIRED Desire.”
Still, it does get exhausting. Of JB’s 200 dates, the majority were first dates, and he estimates only 10 to 15 percent included sex. “I sometimes don’t even want to look at the apps. I definitely hit the fatigue people talk about. What do they call that? The paradox of choice or whatever.” He takes breaks from time to time, he says, but “then you open that shit back up.”
I ask if he’s learned anything in all this time.
For one, “I’m not shutting the door just because someone doesn’t respond for a week or two.” He believes most people are too quick to cut off a connection. “I try to stay open-minded and not take anything personally. At the end of the day, these are strangers. You don’t know what’s going on in that person’s life right off the bat.”
Just as his relationship to the apps has changed, so has his approach to dating. Immediately after the relationship with his most recent ex ended, in April 2023, “I would just take girls out to dinner, drinks, this, that, the works. I’d try to be funny. I was spending hella bread—like $250 a date.” Now, he says, there is less impressing going on.
In part he credits the change in mindset to rapper turned pundit Cam’ron. “Did you ever see Cam’ron’s response to Jordan Poole taking Ice Spice out? He was like, ‘You spent $500,000 on an Ice Spice date. You’re a munch and you’re playing like a f***ing munch.’” Poole denied the rumor.
“I know it’s a little problematic,” JB continues, “but that became my thing. I keep it chill—pizza and drinks. It becomes very clear if they actually want to get to know you or if they are trying to get their dinner paid for. It’s a great way to cut through bullshit.”
He met the girl that he’s dating now on Raya. “It’s pretty serious. I do like her a lot.” Only, their chance meeting almost didn’t happen. “I was on the fence about going. It was a Sunday. I was very tired. She was cool, pretty. So I go meet her—and she’s stunning. We had an amazing conversation,” he says. They’ve been talking to each other for two months now. “I should’ve probably stayed home and slept that night and not gone out drinking with her, but then I would not have met this girl who I’m thinking about deleting the apps for.”
That day hasn’t arrived, and it may never. For now, his accounts are active. “You never know which date is gonna hit or not. It’s a crapshoot,” he says. “It’s low-key addicting.”
To no surprise, Gigi 2 hits the right spot, er, my G-spot perfectly. It doesn’t involve any finagling and I love that. As I do with G-spot vibrators, I apply just enough pressure so vibrations go deep and my entire vagina feels like it’s ascended to another plane. But with the Gigi 2, it’s not just vag-related pleasure but more all-encompassing. While the vibes are up close and personal to my G-spot, the sensations never cease to spread beyond that and throughout my body. Despite this, I don’t have a G-spot orgasm each time with the Gigi 2, but that’s on me.
G-spot orgasms are something I can achieve only when my head is 100% in the game — which, I admit, isn’t always the case. For clitoral orgasm, it’s a buzz-and-done situation, but internal O’s require more from me. But when it comes to G-spot orgasms, Gigi 2 delivers more than the other G-spot stimulators I have in my trove. It’s even made me squirt a few times, so that speaks volumes (pun!) in and of itself. I’d also like to note that, although I was unable to procure a cervical orgasm, with Gigi 2 it’s not out of the realm of possibility. Gigi 2 has four inches of insertable length and the cervix is anywhere from three to six inches up from the vaginal opening, so it could happen.
I know the Gigi 2 isn’t new. It’s been around since before I was even a zygote (because I’m that young). But despite that, I still know a bit about sex toys. I might still burn everything I put in the oven and I may have to hold up my hands in L-shapes to determine right from left, but sex toys I know. And with that said, the Gigi 2 is in my top five of all time for a reason.
Orgasm rating: A
One of the reasons the Gigi 2 is among Lelo’s bestsellers is because when it comes to serving up orgasms, it’s a sure thing. A Lelo Gigi 2 review on Lovehoney declared, “Gigi hits my G-spot directly and massages it mercilessly. She never misses and I lose myself.” Same, friend, same. It’s a G-spot massage that won’t be forgotten anytime soon.
Design: A
I love the design of all Lelo toys. Whether it’s Sona, Soraya Wave, or Mona 2, I’m like a moth to a flame when it comes to the designs. That matte deep rose silicone vibrator against my clit or G-spot is a delicious luxury that not every brand can offer. It’s USB rechargeable with a battery life of up to four hours when fully charged—another fantastic design feature—and comes with a satin pouch so you can toss your vibrator and charger in your bag every time you travel.
Quality: A
In case you’re late to the party, when it comes to sex toys, they should always be made of premium, medical-grade silicone. If your sex toy is made of regular ol’ plastic or a jelly-like substance, throw it out. Now. (Glass dildos are still fine to use.)
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? The ambiance is perfect, the sex is earth-shattering, and you’re so engrossed in climaxing with your partner, but all of a sudden, you realize the damage is done. His pull-out game wasn’t good, and now you are scared. Or even if he pulled out well, you keep asking yourself, “Can you get pregnant with pull-out method?” And in case it’s a one-night stand, you don’t even know if you’ll end up with some STI. Likewise, not knowing the signs he didn’t pull out in time can destroy your mental peace after a goof-up like this.
In this article, we have collaborated with Ahmedabad-based senior gynecologist and cosmetic surgeon Dr. Riddhi Shukla (MD, DGO, PGDHCM, CIMP, Cosmetic Gynecological Surgeon from the European College Of Aesthetic Medicine and Surgery, and Fellow in Psychosexual Medicine from JSSMM), who also runs an exclusive female sexual wellness and aesthetic gynecology clinic, to offer some valuable insights into the pull-out method, along with signs that your partner probably didn’t pull out in time, tips on how to handle the situation, and details on some alternative contraceptive methods.
How Effective Is The Pull-Out Method
Does pulling out actually work? Let’s answer this question before we get on to the signs he didn’t pull out in time. We have gathered some interesting statistics on the effectiveness of this method. According to a Planned Parenthood study, 22 out of 100 women who were part of the study got pregnant using the pull-out method.
This is a poor record. Likewise, an Elle article mentions that about 18 out of 100 women get pregnant using condoms and only 9 out of 100 get pregnant using contraceptive pills. So, the answer to “How effective is the pull-out method, really?” is that the pull-out method isn’t really as effective as the other popular methods of contraception. Additionally, as Dr. Riddhi Shukla says, “The chances of getting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are extremely high in this method.”
11 Signs He Didn’t Pull Out In Time
Can you get pregnant with pull-out method? Well, you certainly can. But interestingly, it seems that most young women like the pull-out method. If we go by a HuffPost article, the pull-out game is a favorite with a majority of women in the US. And yet, it turns into a horror story when your man fails to pull out in time. Pregnancy scares apart, you are also at the risk of health issues, such as UTIs and STIs.
Is the pull-out method worth it? Well, going by the pleasure quotient, yes. But on a more serious note, as mentioned in the previous section, pulling out is not the best method of getting intimate if the thought of getting pregnant makes you anxious. Nonetheless, in case you and your partner choose the withdrawal method anyway, how do you know that he has goofed up while pulling out? We have jotted down some signs he didn’t pull out in time, to help you avert a major disaster:
1. Unusual wetness
Dr. Shukla says, “The first and foremost sign that he didn’t pull out in time is when you feel excessive wetness all of a sudden.” Now, this feeling of wetness is not the wetness caused by lubricants or the natural wetness a woman experiences while sex. This wetness will be a little different in terms of feeling, as the texture of semen varies from that of lubricants.
Your partner not pulling out in time can make you anxious if you’re avoiding pregnancy
2. Thick fluid in your vagina
Dr. Shukla explains, “Another one of the signs he didn’t pull out in time is when you see thick fluid oozing out or flowing out of your vagina. The fluid is most likely semen.” Now, while individual signs and sensations may vary, the presence of thick fluid in your vagina post-intercourse is most likely a sign that he didn’t pull out in time. Dr. Shukla adds, “In addition, you may feel extra stickiness too, in case he failed to pull out in time.”
Dr. Shukla explains, “A possible indication of the fact that he failed to pull out in time is when you notice his penis turning less erect or soft inside the vagina. It signals that he has ejaculated already.” This is because the penis tends to shrink as soon as all the blood that had gone to make it bigger and erect slowly returns to the other parts of the body after ejaculation.
Now, a point to be noted here is that this may not always prove to be a sure-shot sign of the pull-out having failed. The penis losing its erection can be caused by erectile dysfunction, which in turn, can be caused by multiple reasons such as:
4. Breathing patterns of the male partner may change
Dr. Shukla says, “A prominent sign of the failure of the pull-out method is when the breathing patterns of the male partner change mid-intercourse. That’s when you know that he has already ejaculated inside the vagina.” Debbie, a 25-year-old teacher, wrote to us saying, “It was all going good till I noticed he had begun breathing heavily. I was sure he had already come inside me.”
If your partner stops mid-intercourse and says he’s feeling drowsy, it’s an indication that he’s probably ejaculated already. Now, this drowsiness has a scientific explanation. Studies have shown that men feel sleepy, drowsy, or tired after ejaculation because of the mixture of hormones that the male body releases, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, and prolactin. Of these, prolactin, oxytocin, and vasopressin are the main factors behind post-orgasm drowsiness. These hormones also cause them to distance themselves after intimacy.
6. The thrusting movements stop
Dr. Shukla says, “Once you notice your partner has stopped his thrusting movements during sex, you can be sure that he has already ejaculated inside your vagina.” Now, scientifically known as intravaginal pelvic thrusting, this movement is necessary for ejaculation in almost all mammals. And once this stops, you’ll know he didn’t pull out in time and has possibly ejaculated inside you.
7. Change in your male partner’s facial expression
If your male partner’s facial expression changes mid-intercourse, you will know he probably didn’t pull out in time. Now, the facial expression can be:
An expression of shock at having ejaculated before pulling out
An expression of having reached orgasm
Here’s what a reader, 34-year-old accountant Sally, wrote to us about a similar experience: “Last week, my partner and I had a romp that lasted a few hours. But by the end of the third round of sex, I realized the expression on his face had changed from satisfaction to that of concern. He seemed hesitant to tell me what it was, initially, but when I asked him later, he clearly said he wasn’t sure he had pulled out in time. I had to resort to the morning-after pill eventually.”
8. A typical sensation in the vagina
Roy, a 30-year-old chef, wrote to us, “I feel I messed up during sex with my girlfriend last week. I pulled out, should I be worried? She told me she felt warm inside after we made love. Is it a sign I perhaps didn’t pull out in time? What if my girlfriend is pregnant now?” You see, women often feel the warmth of semen, even if it’s a few drops when a man doesn’t pull out in time. Additionally, Dr. Shukla says, “Some women are more aroused due to the increased wetness of the vagina due to their partner’s semen.”
At times, your partner may start questioning you right after sex. These questions can be:
About your menstrual cycle: When a male partner asks you about your menstrual cycle or when you last had your period, it’s a sign that they may be calculating whether you can pregnant during the time you had sex
About your satisfaction: Some partners may give you indirect cues, such as asking you whether you liked it this way or whether they satisfied you in bed, not hinting directly that they doubt whether they pulled out in time
About whether it’s safe for you to consider other contraceptive methods: He can ask you whether you’re fine with trying the morning-after pills, in case his pull-out game doesn’t work
These questions and more can hint at the fact that he failed to pull out in time.
10. Specific sensations in your partner
From a tickling sensation to mild tremors with a burning sensation, your partner can go through a whole series of sensations during ejaculation. Communication is key in such cases. So, in case you have a gut feeling that your partner may not have pulled out in time, ask him about what he felt and when he felt it.
Dr. Shukla says, “Stickiness (and not sliminess) in your vagina can be a major sign that your partner hasn’t pulled out in time.” This sticky fluid is likely to be sperm or even the pre-ejaculation fluid (or pre-cum). You will also find traces of pre-cum at the tip of his urethra. Though he may not have ejaculated in you, pre-cum can also contain sperm at times and be equally impactful in making a baby.
9 Things to Do If He Didn’t Pull Out In Time
Now that you know the answer to “Does pulling out actually work?” and are aware of the signs that your partner didn’t pull out in time, let’s look at how to fix this situation. Yes, we get it, you will be worried sick if you’re not ready to conceive but are anxious about whether he came inside you. Even if he pulled out, you may be worried whether the withdrawal method actually works. In this section, we will offer a detailed low-down on this situation. What does it mean if he doesn’t pull out in time? And what should you do? Well, check out the following tips offered by Dr. Shukla:
The first thing you should be doing in case you see signs he didn’t pull out in time is to not panic. Here are some tips:
Stay calm and analyze the situation
Try to communicate with him and ask him whether he thinks he failed to withdraw in time
Take a few minutes to figure out the next plan of action
2. Get up immediately
Dr. Shukla says, “As soon as you gain some composure, get up immediately. Forget about climaxing. Try and wipe off as much semen as you can from your genitals.” Though this will not ensure you’re out of trouble, this can be a good place to start.
Now, the next step is to go straight to the washroom. Dr. Shukla explains, “Pee immediately after you feel your partner may have ejaculated inside you.” Now, this may not help you avert pregnancy, but it so happens that urinating right after unsafe sex reduces the risk of urinary tract infections (UTIs). This is because peeing helps clean your vagina from bacteria that causes UTIs.
Apart from the risk of pregnancy and urinary tract infection, unsafe sex, due to the failure of the withdrawal method, may lead to serious sexually transmitted diseases and infections (STDs and STIs).
If you have a regular menstrual cycle and are not affected by irregular periods due to infertility/PCOD or other health issues, you will have a fair idea of your ovulation patterns. Try and mark your day of the cycle and ascertain how close you are to your fertile window. This will help you get rid of some anxiety regarding whether or not you can get pregnant.
The morning-after pill is the safest bet in case your partner failed to pull out in time. Plan B and other levonorgestrel pills can be taken from 3-5 days (72-120 hours), and are quite safe. However, keep these tips in mind:
Make sure you have them as soon as possible, as the effectiveness of these pills depends on how soon you take them
Likewise, don’t make it a habit to pop in morning-after/emergency contraceptive pills whenever you wish, as these pills have certain side effects, such as vaginal bleeding, fatigue, nausea, etc
Consult an ob/gyn before you take the pill if you have any underlying medical condition
6. Rush to get an STD test done
What does it mean if he doesn’t pull out in time? Dr. Shukla says, “Apart from the risk of pregnancy and urinary tract infection, unsafe sex, due to the failure of the withdrawal method, may lead to serious sexually transmitted diseases and infections (STDs and STIs).” So, don’t forget to get tested for STDs such as HIV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and Syphilis, at your nearest health clinic. But be informed that most of these tests are effective only after 2-3 weeks.
If your period is late, get a pregnancy test done. However, this takes anywhere from 4-6 weeks. In the meantime, if you’re panicking about the consequences of unsuccessful withdrawal, consider talking to a gynecologist. Ask them the question that has been bothering you, “What are the chances of getting pregnant without protection?” If you discover you’re pregnant, talk to your gynecologist about the options available. Then, talk to your partner about how you want to handle the situation.
Instead of playing the blame game, sit down with your partner and plan a better contraceptive plan for the next time
8. Prepare for the next time
It’s always wise to educate yourself and be safe for the next time around. You can follow these steps to go about it:
Sit down with your partner and discuss what went wrong
Watch educational videos to learn about safe sex and the withdrawal method
Keep emergency contraceptive pills handy in case the same issue occurs again
What are the chances of getting pregnant without protection? Well, it depends on where you’re in your menstrual cycle. However, given how serious the consequences can be, it’s best not to take that chance. Explore the best contraceptive options available in the market. Choose the best that suits your needs and affordability.
Infographic On Methods Of Contraception That Are More Effective Than The Pull-Out Technique
Methods of contraception that are more effective than the pull-out technique
Now that we know that the pull-out method isn’t as effective as we thought it was, let’s focus on some alternative methods of contraception that are in use these days:
Key Pointers
The withdrawal method/pull-out method success rate isn’t too heartening
Apart from getting pregnant, you can get STIs and UTIs too if the pull-out method doesn’t work
Some signs he didn’t pull out in time are mid-intercourse loss of erection, a change in the facial expression of your male partner, and an unusual stickiness in the vagina
Some tips to deal with this situation are: peeing after sex, opting for a pregnancy test, and going for an STI test
Final Thoughts
We hope you now have clarity on the question, how effective is the pull-out method? As we have already stated, studies claim the pull-out method success rate isn’t too heartening. Likewise, apart from the anxiety over a possible pregnancy, the pull-out method (since it is ‘unsafe sex’ after all) can also cause STIs/STDs and UTIs. We think it’s advisable to approach a gynecologist in case you notice the signs he didn’t pull out in time.
To save yourself the anxiety and sleepless nights after mere moments of unsafe pleasure in bed, try and opt for better and more effective contraceptive options. This is also applicable to all men out there who are wondering, “I pulled out, should I be worried?”
Sex machines are one of those devices that sound a lot more intimidating than they really are. If you’ve heard of them, it might have been in an eye-catching endcap at the adult toy store next to the more typical vibrators you’re there for. However, they can be an exciting addition to your sex life or an accessibility tool for people who can’t do all of the manual labor that sex requires. But which do you buy? You definitely do not want to buy a thrusting machine of poor quality. Don’t worry, I tested an array with a few partners to find the best sex machines that are safe yet stimulating.
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Why Would You Want a Sex Machine?
Sex is a very human activity that doesn’t seem to mesh well with something that can be described as a “machine.” However, there are several reasons why a full-size machine might be appealing as a way to either augment your sex life with a partner or enjoy yourself on your own.
Accessible adventures. It’s unavoidable that sex takes a lot of physical work. It’s also unavoidable that, over time and for a variety of reasons, human bodies sometimes struggle to do physical work. If you have a physical disability or chronic injury/pain, sex machines can help perform some of the labor sex requires, leaving you and/or your partner(s) free to connect in less strenuous ways.
Stimulating specificity. Everyone’s body is different and not everyone experiences pleasure in the same way. One person might enjoy penetration, while another person can only have an orgasm via clitoral stimulation. Some people are highly sensitive to the slightest touches, while others require intense sensations to reach their pleasure peak. Sex machines can offer a variety of sensations that are difficult to achieve with more typical sex toys.
Exciting experimentation. Novelty is a mainstay of many healthy sex lives, and for most people it’s hard to get much more novel than a sex machine. Not only is the idea of using a sex machine novel in itself, but many of our picks provide a lot of creative options for having sex in positions or dynamics that aren’t possible otherwise.
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Westheimer died on Friday at her home in New York City, surrounded by her family, according to publicist and friend Pierre Lehu.
Westheimer never advocated risky sexual behavior. Instead, she encouraged an open dialogue on previously closeted issues that affected her audience of millions. Her one recurring theme was there was nothing to be ashamed of.
“I still hold old-fashioned values and I’m a bit of a square,” she told students at Michigan City High School in 2002. “Sex is a private art and a private matter. But still, it is a subject we must talk about.”
Westheimer’s giggly, German-accented voice, coupled with her 4-foot-7 frame, made her an unlikely looking – and sounding – outlet for “sexual literacy.” The contradiction was one of the keys to her success.
But it was her extensive knowledge and training, coupled with her humorous, nonjudgmental manner, that catapulted her local radio program, “Sexually Speaking,” into the national spotlight in the early 1980s. She had a nonjudgmental approach to what two consenting adults did in the privacy of their home.
“Tell him you’re not going to initiate,” she told a concerned caller in June 1982. “Tell him that Dr. Westheimer said that you’re not going to die if he doesn’t have sex for one week.”
Her radio success opened new doors, and in 1983 she wrote the first of more than 40 books: “Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex,” demystifying sex with both rationality and humor. There was even a board game, Dr. Ruth’s Game of Good Sex.
She soon became a regular on the late-night television talk-show circuit, bringing her personality to the national stage. Her rise coincided with the early days of the AIDS epidemic, when frank sexual talk became a necessity.
“If we could bring about talking about sexual activity the way we talk about diet – the way we talk about food – without it having this kind of connotation that there’s something not right about it, then we would be a step further. But we have to do it with good taste,” she told Johnny Carson in 1982.
She normalized the use of words like “penis” and “vagina” on radio and TV, aided by her Jewish grandmotherly accent, which The Wall Street Journal once said was “a cross between Henry Kissinger and Minnie Mouse.” People magazine included her in their list of “The Most Intriguing People of the Century.” She even made it into a Shania Twain song: “No, I don’t need proof to show me the truth/Not even Dr. Ruth is gonna tell me how I feel.”
Westheimer defended abortion rights, suggested older people have sex after a good night’s sleep and was an outspoken advocate of condom use. She believed in monogamy.
In the 1980s, she stood up for gay men at the height of the AIDS epidemic and spoke out loudly for the LGBTQ community. She said she defended people deemed by some far-right Christians to be “subhuman” because of her own past.
Born Karola Ruth Seigel in Frankfurt, Germany, in 1928, she was an only child. At 10, she was sent by her parents to Switzerland to escape Kristallnacht – the Nazis’ 1938 pogrom that served as a precursor to the Holocaust. She never saw her parents again; Westheimer believed they were killed in the gas chambers at Auschwitz.
At the age of 16, she moved to Palestine and joined the Haganah, the underground movement for Israeli independence. She was trained as a sniper, although she said she never shot at anyone.
Her legs were severely wounded when a bomb exploded in her dormitory, killing many of her friends. She said it was only through the work of a “superb” surgeon that she could walk and ski again.
She married her first husband, an Israeli soldier, in 1950, and they moved to Paris as she pursued an education. Although not a high school graduate, Westheimer was accepted into the Sorbonne to study psychology after passing an entrance exam.
The marriage ended in 1955; the next year, Westheimer went to New York with her new boyfriend, a Frenchman who became her second husband and father to her daughter, Miriam.
In 1961, after a second divorce, she finally met her life partner: Manfred Westheimer, a fellow refugee from Nazi Germany. The couple was married and had a son, Joel. They remained wed for 36 years until “Fred” – as she called him – died of heart failure in 1997.
After receiving her doctorate in education from Columbia University, she went on to teach at Lehman College in the Bronx. While there she developed a specialty – instructing professors how to teach sex education. It would eventually become the core of her curriculum.
“I soon realized that while I knew enough about education, I did not really know enough about sex,” she wrote in her 1987 autobiography. Westheimer then decided take classes with the renowned sex therapist, Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan.
It was there that she had discovered her calling. Soon, as she once said in a typically folksy comment, she was dispensing sexual advice “like good chicken soup.”
“I came from an Orthodox Jewish home so sex for us Jews was never considered a sin,” she told The Guardian in 2019.
In 1984, her radio program was nationally syndicated. A year later, she debuted in her own television program, “The Dr. Ruth Show,” which went on to win an Ace Award for excellence in cable television.
She also wrote a nationally syndicated advice column and later appeared in a line of videos produced by Playboy, preaching the virtues of open sexual discourse and good sex. She even had her own board game, “Dr. Ruth’s Game of Good Sex,” and a series of calendars.
Her rise was noteworthy for the culture of the time, in which then-President Ronald Reagan’s administration was hostile to Planned Parenthood and aligned with pro-conservative voices.
Phyllis Schlafly, a staunch anti-feminist, wrote in a 1999 piece “The Dangers of Sex Education,” that Westheimer, as well as Gloria Steinem, Anita Hill, Madonna, Ellen DeGeneres and others were promoting “provocative sex chatter” and “rampant immorality.”
Father Edwin O’Brien, the director of communications for the Catholic archdiocese of New York who would go on to become a cardinal, called her work upsetting and morally compromised.
“It’s pure hedonism,” O’Brien wrote in a 1982 opinion published by The Wall Street Journal. “‘The message is just indulge yourself; whatever feels good is good. There is no higher law of overriding morality, and there’s also no responsibility.”
Westheimer made appearances on “The Howard Stern Radio Show,” “Nightline,” “The Tonight Show,” “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” “The Dr. Oz Show” and “Late Night with David Letterman.” She played herself in episodes of “Quantum Leap” and “Love Boat: The Next Wave.”
Her books include “Sex for Dummies,” her autobiographical works “All in a Lifetime” (1987) and “Musically Speaking: A Life through Song” (2003). The documentary “Ask Dr Ruth” aired in 2019.
During her time as a radio and television personality, she remained committed to teaching, with posts at Yale, Hunter, Princeton and Columbia universities and a busy college lecture schedule. She also maintained a private practice throughout her life.
Westheimer received an honorary doctorate from Hebrew Union College-Institute of Religion for her work in human sexuality and her commitment to the Jewish people, Israel and religion. In 2001 she received the Ellis Island Medal of Honor and the Leo Baeck Medal, and in 2004, she received the degree of Doctor of Letters, honoris causa, from Trinity College.
Ryan White, the director of “Ask Dr Ruth,” told Vice in 2019 that Westheimer was never someone following trends. She was always an ally of gay rights and an advocate for family planning.
“She was at the forefront of both of those things throughout her entire life. I met her friends from her orphanage saying even when she met gay people throughout her life in the ’30s, ’40s, and ’50s she was always accepting of those people and always saying that people should be treated with respect.”
She is survived by two children, Joel and Miriam, and four grandchildren.
Last year, New York Governor Kathy Hochul appointed Dr. Ruth to the role of honorary ambassador to loneliness as New York City works to combat its struggle with mental wellness.
Have a breaking news tip or an idea for a story we should cover? Send it to Eyewitness News using the form below. If attaching a video or photo, terms of use apply.
In 2013, the US Food and Drug Administration made an unprecedented recommendation, advising that women should receive a lower dosage of the insomnia drug zolpidem than men. The rationale behind it was that medication seemed to affect women for longer periods, which could become a safety issue.
However, in 2019, research conducted at Tufts University concluded that the differential effect of the medication had nothing to do with sex. Rather, researchers found that what determined the rate at which the person cleared the drug from their system was their body size. The report concluded that the reduced prescribed dosage for women could in fact lead to underdosing and a failure to effectively treat insomnia. “They were using sex as a proxy for body size because we tend to collect data about sex; we don’t collect data about body size,” says Angela Saini, author of The Patriarchs: How Men Came to Rule. “This is the perverse way that sometimes medicine works: You base your diagnostics on the data you have rather than the data you need.”
Indeed, Saini argues that many of the prevailing gaps in health outcomes between men and women have nothing to do with biological sex. “It can be so tempting for scientists to look at a gap and want to find a simple biological explanation for it, but when it comes to gender and health those simple explanations often don’t exist,” she said.
Of course, sex differences do exist in aspects of health, such as reproductive health and physiology. However, what research suggests is that, in most cases, the health-related difference between men and women—from disease symptoms to drug efficacy—is really quite marginal. “The differences that do exist are down to gender,” Saini says. “Differences in the way people are treated and thought about and the assumptions we make about them.” That, according to Saini, is what explains many of the failures when it comes to women’s health.
Consider, for instance, the common misconception that women present atypical heart-attack symptoms, different from men’s. This prevailing myth was quashed by a 2019 study, funded by the British Heart Foundation, at the University of Edinburgh. The research, which involved nearly 2,000 patients, showed that, in fact, 93 percent of both sexes reported chest pain—the most common symptom—while a similar percentage of men and women (nearly 50 percent) also felt pain radiating from their left arm. “The problem of underdiagnosis of women is because health professionals and even the women themselves who are having a heart attack believe heart attacks are something that mostly happens to men,” Saini says. Estimates indicate that differences in care for women have led to approximately 8,200 avoidable deaths due to heart attacks in England and Wales since 2014.
“It’s not about men discriminating against women; this is often about women not being listened to—sometimes by other women,” she says. Another example that starkly illustrates how gender can affect health outcomes came from a 2016 Canadian study about patients who had been hospitalized with acute coronary syndrome. The research showed that the patients who experienced higher rates of recurrence were the ones who performed gender roles stereotypically associated with women—like doing more housework and not being the primary earner at home—independently of whether they were a man or a woman. “This was because people who carried out a female social role were more likely to be anxious.” Saini says.
If these disparities are caused by the way patients are perceived and treated, the solution, to Saini, is clear: “We need to be careful to diagnose the problem where it is, not where we imagine it to be.” She highlights the successful work of Jennie Joseph, a British midwife who, in 2009, founded the Commonsense Childbirth School of Midwifery in Orlando, Florida, to support women without access to maternal health care. Research has shown that Black mothers, both in the US and in the UK, are three times more likely to die than white women.
“Joseph lowered maternal mortality rates among minority women simply by improving the quality of their care, listening to their concerns, and responding when they say they’re in pain,” Saini says. “We don’t need technology to solve this issue. We just very simply can’t allow our biases and prejudices to get in the way.”
This article appears in the July/August 2024 issue ofWIRED UK magazine.
Pegging refers to a sex act where a woman anally penetrates her partner with strap-on dildo. While pegging is usually referred to in a heterosexual context where a woman penetrates a man, it can happen between people of all genders, such as lesbians who strap on for their female partners to peg them anally or vaginally or a trans man strapping on for a woman.
When Did Pegging Come About?
The concept of having sex with a strap-on may seem risqué, but people have been masturbating and having sex with inantimate objects for thousands of years.
Although the name has changed over time, prostate stimulation and strap-on dildos have been used throughout history by heterosexual women and men who had a difficult time maintaining an erection. Strap-on sex can be confirmed in records and artifacts all the way back to around 12,000 years ago in ancient China, and then through the millennia in France, Greece, ancient Rome, and England.
Pegging arose in Western mainstream media when porn movies showing women anally penetrating men in the 1970s began to circulate.
In the early 1990s, prostate play became more accepted, especially in European countries, and instructive videos and pamphlets came out illustrating ways to massage the prostate with toys or manually with a finger. The prostate was sometimes called the “A-spot,” the “P-spot,” or the male G-spot, and anal play became mainstream.
The term “pegging” became official in 2001, when seminal sex columnist Dan Savage ran a contest in his blockbuster ‘Savage Love’ column to find a catchy term for this sexual practice that appeared to be gaining traction in mainstream chatter.
Why Pegging Feels Good (For Givers and Receivers)
Some men like being penetrated with a strap-on dildo thanks to the prostate, aka the male G-spot, a gland the size of a walnut located 2-3 inches in the anus that is packed with powerful nerve endings. The right kind of stimulation can result in full-body orgasms that some say are more complex than ejaculating by penis stimulation.
Historically, a trick for sex workers to get their clients to ejaculate was by slipping a finger into their anus while administering oral or vaginal sex. Beyond the physiological reason of prostate stimulation, some men also enjoy the “naughtiness” of this type of sex act, or get aroused by it as an act of submission in a BDSM context.
Women who love to peg men may also get a thrill from feeling what it is like to have a penis, or get an erotic power rush by being in the stereotypically dominant position. Giving pleasure to their partner is often a huge turn-on as well, and having your male partner enjoy being in a more vulnerable position can be a bonding experience for both partners.
Plus, the clitoris can rub against the dildo or the partner’s rear, offering additional sensation for the pegger. For those looking for more stimulation while they are pegging their partner, there are also double-ended dildos and vibrators so both parties can receive intense sensations simultaneously.
Pegging Tips
For ladies who have engaged in anal sex, a lot of the preparation and tips are similar, except that you are on the giving end. It’s important to go slow and make sure your partner is comfortable so that you don’t cause them discomfort. Here are some other tips for a successful pegging session:
Use lots of lube: Remember that a strap-on may have more friction than a real penis, so use plenty of lube both on the dildo as well as in and around your partner’s anus.
Let your partner take the lead: If you’re not pros, start out each session by letting the receiving partner have full control over the depth and speed of their penetration. Rather than thrusting into them, first let them push back against you while you are stationary, so that they can get accustomed to the sensation on their own terms and stop if it’s uncomfortable.
Don’t start thrusting right away: After you penetrate your partner, wait for half a minute or so until the muscles in their anus relax and the thrusting feels less painful and more pleasurable. Check in with them once in a while, and adjust your hips, angle, position, etc. as necessary.
One night this past February, over drinks and moody bar lighting, Eric Green and his friends were swapping stories of their recent hookups when one mentioned they’d used the app Sniffies to have public sex. A 30-year-old tattoo artist who works in Bushwick, Brooklyn, Green identifies as a bottom, is a frequent user of dating apps, and has an active sex life—only, he’d never heard of Sniffies.
It wasn’t long after that night out, Green was overtaken by “complete and total horniness” while at home, and decided to sign up himself. When he opened the app he was reminded of Google Maps, only instead of restaurants and shopping recommendations, he was inundated with nudes and suggestions for the nearest pump-and-dump. “I expected it to be like Grindr and Jack’d, but after I checked it out I realized it was super accessible,” Green says, referencing two other popular queer hookup platforms. “More accessible than any other app.”
Access is Sniffies’ main selling point. A map-based cruising platform for men of all sexual identifications (gay, bi, DL, and straight-curious—yes, you read that right), Sniffies has become something like an adults-only Disneyland for queer men interested in sex-positive, no-strings-attached casual encounters. “We really focus on in-the-moment connections,” says Eli Martin, the company’s chief marketing officer and creative director. “On other apps, it’s not always clear what people’s intentions are—some people want to find a boyfriend, others just want to look around—but on Sniffies, we try to make it clear that people are fulfilling their sexual desires and fetishes.”
Sniffies is not your typical dating app, or a dating app at all, really. In lieu of the standard song and dance on Tinder or Bumble, where conversations are bogged down in endless chatter that often never lead to an IRL meeting, on Sniffies you can anonymously browse a map of men searching for sex with other men. Along with web-apps BKDR (short for backdoor), Motto, and Doublelist (think a more streamlined Craigslist personals), it has reignited an appeal in cruising culture that for so long had been taboo, even among certain queer circles. More recently, however, men cruising for sex with other men in public spaces, and the need to be discreet about doing so, was no longer seen as the polarizing issue it once was thanks to a wider acceptance of LGBTQ+ rights and the popularity of hookup apps, which facilitated all manner of connection.
“Destigmatizing casual sex has been our biggest hurdle in general,” says Martin. “It’s been ingrained in us to be monogamous, but we should have this sexual freedom. Cruising doesn’t have to be seedy or something that only happens in back alleys.” Thankfully, he says, that’s changing. “In the last couple of years, we’ve been able to enjoy it more without as much judgment, but it was still hard on day one, because I was like, how do we create an app that’s [not only cool] but going to continually push people to engage in?”
Launched in 2018, Sniffies was the brainchild of former Seattle-based architect Blake Gallagher. A problem-solver by nature, Gallagher was fascinated by the way urban environments influence sexual interactions. He wanted to better augment natural human connection in public spaces, and decided to implement a map feature and geolocation technology as the basis for Sniffies—tapping into what author Jack Parlett calls “the democratic potential of cruising.” Gallagher first tested his idea in Seattle and, with the help of his brother Grant, a programmer, slowly built Sniffies into what it is today—a “cruising app for the curious” with an increasing global reach.
Even with the best sexual aftercare, nausea after sex is a very real phenomenon. According to Shieva Ghofrany, MD, FACOG, a board-certified ob-gyn and advisory board member for PS’s Condition Center, while it’s not necessarily common to feel nauseous after sex, it’s also not unheard of. The issue is that there’s isn’t much research on the topic, so it’s difficult to pinpoint the exact reason behind this phenomenon. That said, if your stomach feels unsettled after sex, it’s important to get to the bottom of it. Thankfully, there are a few common factors that experts believe may be contributing to nausea after sex, including cervical stimulation and painful intercourse. Ahead, we asked MDs to break down the existing research and explain why you may feel nauseous after sex. Read on to see what they had to say about potential causes, helpful treatments, and when to consider seeking additional medical care.
Why Do I Feel Nauseous After Sex?
Nausea after sex can occur for a number of reasons, from cervical stimulation to sexual aversion disorder. Here are some of the most common culprits, according to ob-gyns.
Cervical Stimulation
One of the most likely reasons for nausea after sex has to do with the cervix – the gatekeeper between your vaginal canal and your uterus. Dr. Ghofrany notes that the cervix has many nerve endings, including the vagus nerve, which is responsible for regulating internal organ functions such as digestion, heart rate, and certain reflexes like coughing and vomiting. This means that cervical stimulation during sex can sometimes cause complications.
“Contact with your cervix during sex, or cervical stimulation, can create a vasovagal response in which your blood pressure and pulse drop,” says Lauren Streicher, MD, an ob-gyn and medical director of Northwestern Medicine’s Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause. Certain sex positions or deep penetration may exacerbate this cervical stimulation and make your nausea worse. “The pain that sometimes occurs with penetrative sex, for certain people, can cause a vasovagal response with nausea,” Dr. Ghofrany explains, noting that pain should always be evaluated. Your cervix also changes throughout your cycle, dropping lower during your period, which may make you more susceptible to nausea after penetrative sex.
Post-Orgasmic Illness Disorder
If your symptoms expand beyond nausea, you may be dealing with post-orgasmic illness disorder. “It’s described as a flu-like state,” says Sarah Cigna, MD, MS, FACOG, IF, assistant professor of Obstetrics & Gynecology and director of the SAGA (Sexual Health and Gender Affirmation Center). Symptoms include headaches, nausea, and extreme fatigue following an orgasm, all of which can last anywhere from 2-7 days. “It’s very disabling, so these patients, they’ll often avoid sexual activity completely,” Dr. Cigna says. We still don’t know exactly what causes this condition, but treatment may include hormone modulators or beta-blockers.
Painful Sex
Painful sex could be the result of an underlying health condition, but it can also contribute to nausea. “Women with endometriosis and pelvic inflammatory disease may experience painful intercourse,” Dr. Streicher says. Other factors that may play a role in painful sex and nausea include vaginal or cervical infections and fibroids, which are noncancerous growths in the uterus. Dr. Ghofrany adds that intense uterine contractions (as a result of orgasm) can also increase the likelihood of painful sex and nausea – as can lack of foreplay before sex. Regardless of the exact reason, “If you experience any type of intercourse that is painful, you should see a gynecologist,” Dr. Streicher says.
Hyperventilation
Dr. Ghofrany says it’s possible the way you breathe could make you feel sick after sex. “[Nausea] can also occur due to hyperventilation from the breathing pattern that can precede an orgasm,” she says. On a related note, slow, deep breathing can help relax the vagus nerve (which we know is also tied to post-sex nausea).
Sexual Aversion Disorder
If you consistently feel nauseous after sex, it’s also important to know about potential psychological factors. “The most common reason for nausea after sex would be from a physical trigger,” Dr. Ghofrany explains – namely trauma. “People who have had sexual trauma in the past may experience nausea, even in the absence of a currently traumatic sexual experience,” Dr. Ghofrany says More rarely, nausea is a symptom of a psychological condition known as sexual aversion disorder. “We don’t know how often it occurs in women, but we know that it can stem from past sexual trauma, or being brought up in a very religious atmosphere where sex was ‘bad,’” Dr. Streicher says. The DSM defines sexual aversion disorder as the extreme avoidance of all sexual contact with a partner, causing distress or interpersonal difficulty. Treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy or anxiety medication can help, so always discuss any specific concerns with your doctor for the best medical advice.
How to Treat Nausea After Sex
According to the experts, the best way to treat nausea is to figure out the root cause. For example, Dr. Ghofrany explains that if you’re experiencing nausea after sex due to a vasovagal response from cervical stimulation, then ensuring adequate hydration and steady blood glucose levels may help reduce symptoms. Likewise, if uterine contractions are contributing to nausea and discomfort, taking NSAIDs before intercourse may help with “spasm-like” pain. Still, every person and situation is unique, so for the best personalized medical advice, it’s best to speak with your healthcare provider.
When to Seek Medical Attention
Generally speaking, Dr. Ghofrany recommends seeking medical attention for any type of pain associated with sex. This can help protect you from more serious complications like infections, pelvic masses, or pelvic inflammatory disease. Additionally, if your nausea persists even after trying to address potential triggers, it’s always a good idea to discuss with your doctor.
– Additional reporting by Chandler Plante
Emily Shiffer is a freelance writer living in Pennsylvania. She is a former online staffer at Men’s Health who currently writes about the latest health and wellness trends for POPSUGAR.
Chandler Plante is an assistant editor for POPSUGAR Health & Fitness. Previously, she worked as an editorial assistant for People magazine and contributed to Ladygunn, Millie, and Bustle Digital Group. In her free time, she overshares on the internet, creating content about chronic illness, beauty, and disability.
IT’S 4pm on a Tuesday in May and a man on his stag do is splayed on the floor as a fully naked woman bobs down over him before waxing his chest.
Watching are his mates, who whoop and cheer as he is punished by “extreme stripper” Jade Benidorm.
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Stag do lads dressed as Oompa Loompas dance with a stripperCredit: Chris Eades
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Stripper Jade Benidorm punishes a punterCredit: Chris Eades
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A group of girls on a hen doCredit: Chris Eades
She then grabs hot candles to drip on to the soon-to-be-married man’s chest as he yelps in protest.
Welcome to Benidorm 2024, where business is booming and the famous holiday hotspot has become wilder than ever.
While the cost of living is soaring in the UK, Benidorm is getting more tourists than ever — nearly three million came here last year — and the nightlife has stayed open all winter for the first time.
Local celebrity Frank The Stag Man, who runs Fk It Parties, says: “It’s Disneyland for crazies here. Absolutely anything goes.”
One sozzled stag do reveller tells me: “You couldn’t get away with what we’re doing anywhere else in the world.
“What happens on the stag, stays on the stag.”
For stripper Jade, it is her first show of the day — she can do up to 15 a day over the weekend.
And this is just a warm-up, as later on men will head to the infamous Benidorm strip, aka Calle Gerona, where they will watch one of the countless live sex shows.
Watch shocking moment ‘extremely violent’ most wanted Brit ‘drugs baron’ is tackled by cops in Benidorm
They include a Star Wars-themed option on Segways and extreme BDSM shows.
Stag dos are spoilt for choice, as every other bar on the strip offers a free raunchy show and punters as old as 70 will be packing in with them to get an eyeful.
And it’s not just stag dos that flock to the X-rated shows.
Niamh, 22, visited Benidorm last year with her mum and took her to the Segway sex show.
The Dublin lass says: “I’ve never seen anywhere else where young and old can party together. It’s great.”
The seaside resort has been welcoming boozy visitors since the 1960s, then in the 1980s legendary stripper Sticky Vicky paved the way for the raunchy acts that dominate the strip now.
The erotic performer died, aged 80, in November last year and now even has a tribute act.
Her daughter Maria is carrying on as the original.
Frank, 53, who owns Miller’s Bar and Miller’s Beach Bar, has been running group holidays to the city for more than 15 years.
He reckons: “It’s a break from the norm and over the past few years things have got wilder.
“We are the top party destination in Europe and, thanks to social media, more people are starting to realise that.
“It’s impossible to come here and not have a good time.
“People love being shocked and that’s what Benidorm provides.
“There’s everything from drag strippers who stitch up the groom to tribute acts and more extreme performances.
“Winter is non-existent here and for the first time this year we didn’t stop over the winter months.
“We were still busy.”
In high season, Benidorm gets around 200 stag and hen dos a week, with many of their clients being Irish or from the North of England.
Disneyland for crazies
Frank’s partner is Jade Benidorm, 31, who says people often show their wild side when they come to the party destination.
She said: “Sticky Vicky paved the way for acts like mine.
“Most people expect to see something shocking, but also appreciate the showmanship of it.
“Ninety-nine per cent of brides and grooms who come to my show have no idea what their stags have planned.
“Some are timid, others are up for a giggle and some get naked very quickly.
“It’s great to see people enjoying themselves and pushing the limits.”
But while there are great times to be had in Benidorm, the partygoers should beware the strip’s darker side.
Boozed-up Brits have become an easy target for so-called “serpientes” (Spanish for “snakes”) after a quick buck.
Frank warns: “While being on the beach at night is technically illegal, that doesn’t stop people skinny-dipping after a few drinks.
“But leaving your clothes and belongings on the beach gives snakes a chance to steal phones and money.
“While you’re having a bit of fun, they’ll strike.
“Plus most people won’t want to admit that they’ve lost their stuff having a naked swim, so they’ll say they got mugged.
“People just need to remember to keep an eye on stuff, like they would at home.”
There are other dangers, too.
Within 30 seconds of arriving at Avenida de Mallorca, known to tourists as The Square, I was offered cocaine.
The going rate is €50 a gram.
The dealer, who also worked as a doorman for one of the clubs, tells me: “It’s the good stuff from Columbia.”
When I refuse, I’m offered pills or another powder.
I have to walk away fast just to be left alone.
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A stag party from Yorkshire hit the resortCredit: Chris Eades
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A cheeky Scottish holidaymaker leaves little to the imaginationCredit: Chris Eades
The offer is repeated again and again as I make my way along the street.
Dad Simon, 44, tells me: “I’ve been offered drugs about 20 times since I lit a cigarette.
“It’s full-on.”
He is here on a rugby tour and is flanked by Brandon, 17, and Dylan, 16, who are hoping to see a sex show.
Cops tell me of the street dealers: “Where there is demand, there will be supply, but we don’t want it here.”
Alleged British drug kingpin Paul Brown was last month arrested in a hotel in the city after a four-year international manhunt.
While out on the strip, The Sun saw one Brit being arrested, and it is a regular occurance for clubs to be raided by cops looking to find drugs.
We are the top party destination in Europe and, thanks to social media, more people are starting to realise that. It’s impossible to come here and not have a good time
Frank, bar-owner
It’s not just drug dealers who are preying on visitors.
Despite 500 police patrolling the area each day to keep holidaymakers safe, smashed blokes are being targeted by women pretending to be sex workers offering a €5 thrill — which results in punters being robbed once their pants are down.
There have been protests against British tourists in Majorca, the Canaries and Ibiza — but the Benidorm locals love them.
Visit Benidorm told me they felt “very privileged to host British tourists”.
And a taxi driver added: “Eighty per cent of the people here are British.
“The problem is pickpockets looking for British drunk guys.
“They pose as sex workers, offer a service, and once the guy has dropped his trousers they take everything.
It’s rougher than the worst bits of Newport. But I bloody love it
Sun source
“We see it every night, men who have nothing because it’s been nicked.
“It’s not good for us, because people go home and say you’ll get robbed.
“It puts people off coming here.
“The criminals just focus on the tourist streets.”
The women can be seen standing on street corners just seconds away from the main strip, sporting short skirts and high heels, like many of the partygoers.
Online groups about Benidorm have reports of tourists being punched by bouncers when they start to cause trouble.
Some posts advise avoiding a street off the strip as it is “muggers alley”.
Yet despite the darker edge, most revellers aren’t put off.
As one woman from Newport, South Wales, told The Sun: “It’s rougher than the worst bits of Newport. But I bloody love it.”
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Revellers with a podium dancer at a clubCredit: Chris Eades
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A raunchy podium dancer at a barCredit: Chris Eades
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Levante city beach and seafront walkwayCredit: Getty
Can a relationship survive without intimacy? Well, imagine this: You’ve been in a long-term romantic relationship and now the spark has fizzled out. You can’t even connect in bedYou hardly even hug or cuddle and end up having no sex for days and you often wonder, “How long is too long without sex in a relationship?”
Sounds familiar? In this article, we offer you clarity on the dynamics of sexual intimacy and explore scenarios where people end up in sexless marriages or relationships for various reasons. With insights from sexologist Dr. Vishal Gor, who specializes in treating sexual dysfunction, we’ll delve deeper into the ‘no sex in relationship anymore’ issue and also look at a few tips to fix the effects of not having sex. So, if you’re one of those who often wonder, “Why won’t my husband have sex with me?”, or complain, “My wife never wants sex”, read on…
How Often Should A Couple Have Sex?
Often, we’re perplexed about the number of times a couple should have sex. So, does a couple need to have sex daily to make their relationship work? My friend, Ashley, once called me up, frustrated that her husband and she hadn’t had sex in weeks and that he would often cite work pressure to avoid having sex with her. She said, “There’s no sex in our relationship anymore! I am so exhausted. It’s like he has no desire for sex.”
Soon, she even started suspecting him of having an affair. This led me to think, “How long is too long without sex in a relationship?” and more importantly, “How often should a couple have sex for a relationship to survive?”
Dr. Gor says, “There is no fixed or right answer to this, as it depends on several factors. And there’s no one-size-fits-all number that can state how often a couple should have sex. What works for one couple may not work for another.” But some factors that dictate how often couples have sex are:
Age: With age, sexual frequency between couples can lessen. However, it will be a generalization to think all couples have less sex after a certain age
Lifestyle: With the pressure of the hustle culture looming large, people may get busy with their jobs or chores. Late nights at work or the strain of raising kids may take its toll on the sex lives of couples
Libido or sex drive: Various factors, such as medical issues or performance anxiety, can prevent couples from having regular sex or result in low libido/sex drive and no desire for sex
Dr. Gor, however, maintains, “In my interactions with clients, I have found that young couples have sex at least once or twice per week, while older couples have sex once a month, or twice at the most.” A 2017 Kinsey Institute study also says the same thing. It states that “…people between the ages of 18 and 29 do it twice a week.”
A similar study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior stated that married or live-in couples were having sex once a week. So, before you complain, “My wife never wants sex” or lose sleep over the thought, “Why won’t my husband have sex with me?”, think again! You may not be doing that badly.
Sex is extremely important in a relationship
How Long Is Too Long Without Sex In A Relationship?
In a study by the University of Chicago, it was proved that couples who had sex once every week were the happiest. However, the happiness quotient didn’t increase with the sexual frequency beyond once a week. As in, couples who had sex more than once a week weren’t happier than those having it just once a week.
This probably proves that the answer to how long is too long without sex in a relationship is also perhaps subjective and varies from couple to couple. Dr. Gor too agrees and says, “The answer to this depends on partners and their personal reasons. Most couples believe no sex for 6 months in relationship is too much, especially if they’re committed to each other.”
However, some couples may forgo sexual pleasure to stay in different cities and earn a better income. But others may not be able to live without making love even for a week. This is because sexual satisfaction is relative. So, while you will often find some women wondering, “Why won’t my husband have sex with me?”, or men who lose their cool over the ‘wife never wants sex’ scenario, others may be happy with their sexless relationships for years.
Why Is Sex Important In A Relationship?
Now, we’re not saying sex is the only thing that matters in a long-term romantic relationship. Of course, trust, compatibility, and an intimate connection are prime factors that help sustain a long-term relationship, but sex is the magic ingredient that adds that extra zing to the relationship and keeps it alive. So, if you’re caught in a ‘no sex in relationship anymore’ scenario and feel discontentment over it, you aren’t completely wrong.
Here’s what a Reddit user had to say about the importance of sex in her life, “I’m probably in the minority for women to say this, but sex is incredibly important in my life. I am a very sexual person, I enjoy sharing my body with others and most of all I crave the pleasure that comes from sex. Masturbation is a regular part of my life even as a sexually active person, but it wouldn’t be enough for me to get by for long periods of time without sex. I need the physical connection with someone, casual or otherwise.”
So, why is sex important in a relationship? Does it have any scientific benefits? Here’s what Dr. Gor thinks makes sex an absolute necessity in relationships:
1. Sex is good for boosting immunity
Studies have shown that people who have sex once or twice a week have better immune systems than those who don’t. In fact, apparently, sex alters the level of an antigen that protects us from ailments such as cold and flu. This is very similar to kissing bringing in health benefits.
2. Sex plays a major role in improving sleep patterns
Now, this has a lot to do with the hormones released during sex. Studies have shown that sex helps the body release hormones such as oxytocin and dopamine, which eventually lead to relaxation and better sleep.
Research has proved that good sex helps relieve stress and even rids you of relationship anxiety. Apart from lowering blood pressure, sex also helps reduce risks of heart disease and stroke.
4. Sex intensifies the emotional attachment
Dr. Gor says, “Regular sex is a basic requirement for a healthy relationship, as it brings in more relationship satisfaction. It also improves the trust quotient between couples.” Sex helps partners connect emotionally. The cuddling and love hormone, oxytocin, which is associated with physical intimacy and sex, strengthens bonds between couples. This is exactly why we tend to miss our partners when they’re not around.
Dr. Gor also says, “Sex is a major factor that contributes to a spike in self-esteem levels in people.” So, regular sex brings with it increased confidence levels and makes people perform better at work and other social spheres. It works wonders for those with low self-esteem.
Effects Of Not Having Sex
Do you think you’re getting enough sex? Or do you feel you could do much better or are craving more sex? Are you wondering what not having sex in a relationship can do to your mind and body? Well, just as sex has quite a few scientifically proven advantages, be it in a new relationship or an old one, a clear lack of sex can wreak havoc on your body and cause psychological issues. So, how does this ‘no sex in relationship anymore’ scenario affect you?
Sharing his experience of a sexless relationship, a Reddit user says, “I currently live with my GF of 2+ years and since moving in with each other last year, our sex life has really suffered. We are still extremely physical and cuddly but she started to frequently refuse my more sexual advances. I soon just stopped trying to initiate sex spontaneously because being denied constantly was making me feel really sad and emasculated.” This perhaps also answers the question, why is sex important in a relationship?
Dr. Gor details a few such effects of lack of sex in marriage:
Easy irritability: Lack of regular sex in relationships can make people irritable. Such people tend to become angered easily
Anxiety: Not having sex in a relationship also means less ‘feel good’ hormones in your body, which leads to a heightened level of anxiety
Depression: Just as sex can lead to an ego boost, a significant lack of sex can lead to depression. Worse still, you may be burned under peer pressure to just have sex for the sake of it, without enjoying your intimate moments
Sexual dysfunction:Research has proved that infrequent sex is often associated with erectile dysfunction in men. Lack of sex in relationships can also make women fear painful intercourse when they do have sex after long intervals
Relationship problems: If the sexual dynamic between married couples is affected adversely, it may even lead the couple to divorce. After all, not fulfilling a partner’s sexual needs does amount to legitimate grounds for divorce
The effects of lack of sex in marriage can be far-reaching
How To Deal With Lack Of Intimacy In A Relationship
Now that you have an answer to your burning question, how long is too long without sex in a relationship? You’re also aware of the ill effects of lack of sex in marriage and the pros of having sex regularly. Let’s address the next big concern: how does one deal with a lack of intimacy in relationship?
Since relationships are complex and unique, there is no fixed formula to address the issue of lack of affection, intimacy, or sexual desire. That said, according to Dr. Gor, there are a few ways that can prove effective in dealing with this issue in most situations. He recommends:
1. Find out the root cause and address it
On how to fix a lack of intimacy in relationships, Dr. Gor says, “It’s important to go through your partner’s detailed history to find out the cause of the ‘no sexual relationship’ situation. And then, one should treat any physical or psychological health issues related to it.” So, in such cases, make sure you note if there’s:
A medical issue, such as erectile dysfunction, that’s affecting your sex life
Some past relationship trauma, such as sexual abuse or painful sex with an ex
2. Encourage open communication
Dr. Gor advises, “Communication between partners is very important to resolve issues related to lack of sex in relationships.” Nobody knows you better than your partner in bed. So, open up and have a healthy discussion on what’s preventing the two of you from having sex. There’s no alternative to open communication.
Often, the ‘no sexual relationship’ scenario is due to a lack of emotional intimacy. This could be due to various reasons such as work pressure or the burden of household chores and responsibilities. Dr. Gor says, “It’s crucial to address this lack of emotional closeness and focus on improving it if there’s no desire for sex in either partner.” This is one of the best ways to fix the lack of intimacy in relationships.
4. Consult a certified sex therapist
Lastly, if all else fails, you should definitely consult a professional counselor or a certified sex therapist. After all, mental health is of prime importance, especially in such cases. Dr. Gor says, “Couples counseling and individual therapy can both work wonders in such cases.” And if you’re looking for help, Bonobology’s counseling services are at your disposal.
Key Pointers
How long is too long without sex in a relationship? While there’s no definite answer, most happy couples have sex once a week
Younger couples have sexual intercourse about once a week, while older couples have sex once a month
Sex is important in a relationship because it improves sleep quality, it boosts immunity, and it intensifies emotional connection
The effects of not having sex in a relationship include irritability, depression, and relationship issues
To deal with a lack of intimacy in relationships, find out the root cause, encourage communication, and opt for couples counseling
For an average adult, sex isn’t the be-all-and-end-all in a relationship, but it’s definitely a major component of every healthy relationship. We hope we’ve been able to help you ascertain what makes for a healthy sex life. We also hope that after reading this article, you’re no longer searching for the answer to how long is too long without sex in a relationship and have found a solution to the eternal ‘no sexual relationship’ scenario.
Though our suggestions may work for the majority of couples, remember, at the end of the day, it’s you and your partner who decide what’s ‘perfectly normal’ in bed and what’s not. So, don’t be pressured to believe having sex a certain number of times will make your marriage perfect. Just like wanting sex isn’t bad, not wanting it doesn’t make you a villain either. And can a relationship survive without intimacy? Well, though sex is a necessity, a good marriage also depends on mutual trust, loyalty, and compatibility. So, go ahead and make the most of it.
Sex doesn’t just feel amazing (for most people), it also comes with a whole slew of health benefits. If sex can help support your overall health, it begs the question “Does sex help slow down the aging process?”
Let’s be clear – sex doesn’t “slow aging”. Aging is inevitable and is a beautiful part of life. But there are many tools you can use to help support your body along the way. These tools can help lower your risk of aging-related health conditions and help you feel better and more energized as your body changes.
We understand that sex is a broad term, especially for those in the LGBTQI+ community, so by sex, we don’t just mean penetration, it can also mean oral sex, anal sex, etc. It’s also important to note that while some benefits of sex have to do with connecting with another person, many can be experienced by masturbating.
Here are just a few of the ways that having sex can help support your body as you age:
Decreasing Stress Levels
We’re all now well aware of the many dangers of high-stress levels. The body releases the hormone cortisol in response to stress. This is entirely normal and part of a healthy, functioning body. Too much cortisol however can wreak havoc on the body.
Chronic stress can increase your risk of serious health complications like heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, and diabetes. Sex may be able to help with that.
Physical exercise, including sex, can help reduce stress hormone levels across genders. Having sex, especially during orgasm, helps to release oxytocin, “the love hormone”. This helps boost your mood and increase levels of intimacy, which can also help reduce stress levels.
A healthy, fulfilling, consensual sex life whether that’s with one partner or more also has a positive impact on stress levels from a social perspective. Getting emotional support, and experiencing intimacy, trust, and safety with another person can do wonders when it comes to stress.
Better Sleep Health
Sleep hasn’t always gotten enough attention in the wellness space. But getting enough sleep is just as important to your health as eating well and exercising.
Researchers at the University of California Los Angeles found that partial sleep deprivation can make older adults’ cells age quicker. This means that just one night of poor sleep can age your cells, even if it’s a small amount. When you sleep, your body performs a number of biological processes that impact your brain and overall health.
Getting enough sleep is key for immune function, lowering your risk of developing chronic diseases, and helping you feel better throughout your days. A study published in the Journal of Sleep Research found that people who had partnered sex that led to orgasm before bed tended to fall asleep better and have better quality sleep.
Stress is also a big factor when it comes to sleep health. When you reduce your stress levels by having sex, you’re also promoting your sleep hygiene. Unfortunately, there’s limited research on the sleep-boosting benefits of people who masturbate before bed, but lived experience can tell you that it certainly helps a lot of people!
Supporting Heart Health
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), cardiovascular deaths are the leading cause of death globally. More than 80% of these deaths are due to strokes and heart attacks. The biggest contributing factor when it comes to cardiovascular health is lifestyle choices.
Things like diet, physical activity levels, and tobacco and alcohol use may all impact your cardiovascular health. Another lifestyle choice may as well – your sex life.
One study found that women who have regular partnered sex had a lower risk of cardiac events later in life. They also found that older women who self-reported having a satisfying sex life had a lower chance of having high blood pressure – another contributing factor toward cardiovascular health. These benefits were primarily found in cis women.
Boosting Immune Health
Your immune system is essential for fighting off infectious illnesses, diseases, and infections. Having a healthy immune system can help prevent serious complications when a foreign pathogen enters your body or you happen to get sick.
Immune health is even more important as you age, when you become more susceptible to a wide range of health issues. Researchers found that college students who reported having frequent sex (three or more times per week) had higher levels of salivary immunoglobulin A (IgA) in their saliva.
IgA is an antibody found in mucous membranes like the digestive and respiratory tracts, as well as saliva. This antibody is essential for fighting off attacks from infectious microorganisms like viruses and bacteria, especially on your mucous membranes.
Another study found that people who had sex more than three times a month had a lower risk of contracting COVID-19. Participants’ immunity status showed a positive correlation with sexual activity levels. This means the higher the sexual activity levels, the lower their chance of becoming sick.
Sex and Aging
As sexuality research continues to grow, we are seeing more and more the many health benefits of sex. While these benefits might not stop aging in its tracks, sex can be one part of a healthy lifestyle. It can be difficult to carve out time for intimacy, but a healthy sex life is not only an important part of your relationships but your overall well-being.
For many people, sex is an essential part of human connection. It’s also a huge source of pleasure and joy. These are some of the most important parts of life, and if you’re able to experience them while also boosting your physical health, then more power to you!
A satisfying sex life isn’t just about having orgasms. When you’re able to increase intimacy, you’re also improving your overall quality of life, and supporting the aging process while you’re at it.
The Karma Sutra is the original how-to on how enjoy your sex life. Written in the 3rd century, it has been a North Star and guide to intimacy for ages. The Indian book has been a best seller and the suggestions have been incorporated in a variety of ways across the centuries and globe. I demonstrates cannabis has been used 3000 years to stimulate and enhance the sexual experience. The Indians stepped it up a notch in the 7th century and added cannabis to emerging tantric sex practices. Taking a page from it, here are the best tips to up your intimacy game while high.
If you’re trying out the combination of marijuana and sex for the first time, try using a method that you’re well acquainted. This will help avoid some of the factors out of your control. If you like to plan ahead, try experimenting with different strains and consumption methods before the night of, just so you can have a handle on your high and can eliminate negative side effects. And remember, a bout of giggles can be used as a quick break before the next round of action.
Photo by sirawit99/Getty Images
Take strains into account
Do research and get to know different kinds of marijuana, since these can affect your body and performance in different ways. While some strains enhance physical sensations others leave you with a more cerebral high, something that can get frustrating when trying to have a special sexual experience. While people react differently to different strains of marijuana, sativas are a good starting point, since they tend to improve your mood and increase your sensitivity.
Go slow, finish bigger
You don’t want to be too high, so be cautious and consume slowly, making the process of getting high as gradual and sensual as possible as possible. Let touch be the guide for when cannabis hits. Add a bit more if you need to increase your high than to realize that you’re too high and that you’ll be having trouble keeping your eyes open.
Lube is always a great idea. It makes things move better and adds a subtle layer of extra feeling. Odd fact, THC tends to make you have a bit of dry mouth and slows your body’s production of liquids. So little lube can translate to pleasurable sex. Keep your lube nearby and stay hydrated.
Play with new sensations
Test out new toys or sensations, taking advantage of your body’s newly acquired sensitivities. Again, it’s important to take it slow in order to avoid getting overwhelmed, steering clear of scenarios that are too intense. Go crazy with an ice cube, some lube or whatever else that sounds like a good time.
Ever gone to the bathroom after sex, or looked down at your fresh white sheets, and noticed a bit of blood? Seeing blood after sex may be alarming, especially if you aren’t on your period. Is it something to worry about?
Known as “postcoital bleeding,” bleeding after sex may be caused by a plethora of reasons. And while most of the time it’s nothing to worry about, it’s something to pay attention to.
Postcoital bleeding isn’t linked to your period and typically isn’t painful. If you have pain during or after sex, you may have another condition like vaginismus or low estrogen levels.
We dive into the causes of bleeding after sex and when you should seek advice from a health professional.
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease or an STI
Having an inflamed cervix, called cervicitis, can cause bleeding after sex. An inflamed cervix may be due to an infection or an STI like chlamydia, gonorrhea, or Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID).
If you experience an odor, itching, pain, or burning sensation, contact your doctor immediately for an STI test.
Vaginal Dryness and Tearing
If you’ve just had rough, deep, or long-lasting sex, you may notice blood. This is because you’ve probably experienced minor tearing of the vaginal walls. This may be because of a lack of lubrication but could also be due to long fingernails (so make sure your partner is trimming and keeping you safe!).
If you’ve experienced a vagina laceration, the bleeding is usually short-term and the blood is bright red.
When a woman is in perimenopause, which is the years leading up to menopause, estrogen levels begin to rapidly drop. This causes atrophy and vaginal dryness, leading to more chances of bleeding after sex.
It’s recommended to always use lube — no matter what your age — during sex, as it reduces your chances of tearing and dryness, and makes sex feel better in general. Use a water-based lube when using a condom or silicone sex toy, or a silicone-based lubricant if you’re looking for long-lasting lubrication.
For a post-menopausal woman, a doctor may prescribe an estrogen cream since the vaginal lining is thin and prone to inflammation, bleeding, and intense pain during sex.
Other reasons for vaginal dryness include breastfeeding, allergies, antidepressants, perimenopause, cancer treatment, over-douching, and stress.
IUD
After having your IUD inserted, you may notice some light bleeding. Some people have even reported that they’ve experienced bleeding upwards of a few months after insertion as the body adjusts. Sex may irritate or jostle the IUD which can result in bleeding as well.
If you’ve noticed any changes with your IUD — pain or discomfort for your partner — visit your doctor to make sure the IUD has not been dislodged.
Benign Growths
Typically one to two centimeters in size, cervical polyps, are non-cancerous and benign growths on the cervix. During intercourse, polyps may bleed. A doctor can remove them during a polypectomy during your yearly Pap test.
Strenuous exercise or activity — like sex — can rupture a cyst, where you may require surgery but oftentimes, the cyst dissipates on its own.
Another growth is uterine fibroids, which can grow as large as a melon, and put pressure on the uterus. You will typically feel pain during sex if you have a fibroid, and many women experience bleeding after sex if they have a fibroid.
Cervical Erosion
Although scary sounding, cervical erosion, or cervical ectropion, is common and harmless. It’s not linked to any type of cancer and happens when cells from inside of the cervical canal grow on the outside of the cervix.
Impacting anywhere from 17% to 50% of people, cervical erosion may be something you are born with or it may occur because your body has been exposed to estrogen.
Anywhere from 5% to 25% of women with cervical erosion experience postcoital bleeding because the fine blood vessels in the inner lining of the vagina are torn very easily during sex.
People taking contraceptives, people who are pregnant, or adolescents have higher levels of estrogen and typically experience this condition.
Cancer
Although rare, bleeding after sex may be a sign of cervical cancer, which kills about 4,000 women in the United States every year. If you have cervical cancer, the blood is usually foul-smelling and pink or brown.
Other symptoms of cervical cancer include bleeding between periods, having longer periods than normal, watery discharge that has a strong odor, and pain during sex.
Make sure to visit a healthcare provider for your annual Pap test to screen for cervical cancer and the human papillomavirus (HPV).
How To Get Tested and Treated for Bleeding After Sex
Usually, your doctor will conduct a few tests to rule out certain concerns. A pregnancy test will usually be conducted as well as a pelvic examination. Additionally, a doctor may insert a speculum to look at the cervix.
If the bleeding occurs from vaginal dryness, a doctor will recommend a lubricant.
How To Talk To Your Partner About Bleeding After Sex
Talking to your sexual partner is key in connecting and ensuring that you won’t be alone in discovering what could be wrong. Here are a few tips when discussing bleeding after sex.
Talk with your partner about potential complications.
Experiment with different sex positions and discuss what feels good with your partner.
Encourage play before intercourse to warm up the body. Make sure you have enough lubrication and make sure your partner understands that introducing lube can create pain-free, blood-free sex.
In addition to talking with your partner, visit your doctor to rule out any serious health complications that may be leading to bleeding after sex. Keep in mind when you bleed, how much you bleed, and how often, and let your doctor know when you go in for your visit. They will help rule out any long-lasting issues and ensure you’ll have a healthier sex life.
While we won’t say it’s “normal,” to bleed after sex, it’s usually not a life-threatening situation. At the end of the time, only a professional can help you take the steps to reduce a crimson tide post-sex.
I’ll scream it from the mountaintops as many times as I have to: Your bedroom should have a bottle of lube! Ideally more than one. Whether you’re flying solo or with a copilot(s), too much friction is a bad time for everyone. Even if it doesn’t seem like you need a lubricant, you’d be better off using a little to protect yourself from chafing and micro-tears on sensitive tissues. We’ve tried several kinds, from silicone and oil to water—these are the best lubes we’ve tested.
Updated April 2024: We added Gun Oil Silicone Lube and Uberlube Silicone Lube.
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Silicone- vs. Water- vs. Natural Oil-Based Lube
Photograph: Dame
There are two main kinds of lubes to be aware of: Water-based and silicone-based.
Water-based lubes are by far the most common, most affordable options you’re going to find online or in a sex shop, and for most people, they’re the way to go. High-quality water-based lubes might as well be called aloe-based lubes because Aloe barbadensis leaf gel is the primary thickener in almost all of them. It provides a high degree of slickness without leaving behind a sticky residue. (Sometimes a mushroom extract is also used to help achieve a silky-smooth texture.) However, not all water-based lubes are made equal, and some might feel sticky. They have a bad habit of getting absorbed by the skin quickly, so they need to be reapplied more frequently than other lubes. Still, they’re body-safe and toy-safe, so they’re by far the most no-fuss option.
Silicone lubes, on the other hand, are oil-based and they provide a much higher degree of friction reduction and last longer because they’re not as readily absorbed by the skin. Because they are oil-based, you have to be careful not to stain your sheets or clothes when using them. Additionally, silicone lubes can degrade silicone toys over time, so it’s best to keep most of your toys away from silicone lube (though glass toys and silicone lube get along great).
Natural oil-based lubes are becoming more common, and they typically use plant oils like coconut oil or avocado oil to provide lubrication. The upside of these is that they play nicely with silicone toys and won’t degrade them like silicone-based lubes will, and because they’re made from natural oils they usually smell pretty good. The downside is that they’re a little more finicky and don’t provide as much lubrication as silicone-based lubes.
GIORGIO Armani has paid tribute to fellow Italian fashion designer and “true artist
Cavalli, whose death was announced by his company on Friday, became renowned in the early 1970s for his animal prints and for a sexy style that remained his trademark throughout his long career.
In a post shared by the Armani account on X, formerly Twitter, Mr Armani said: “I cannot imagine a vision of fashion more distant from mine than that of Roberto Cavalli, yet I have always had enormous respect for him: Roberto was a true artist, wild and wonderful in his use of prints, capable of transforming fantasy into seductive clothes.
“I have learnt with great sadness of his passing: his Tuscan verve will be greatly missed.”
Brazilian model Adriana Lima said alongside a picture of her and Cavalli on X: “Unapologetic in style & spirit. We lost a legend today. Rest in Peace, @Roberto_Cavalli”.
A host of celebrities including Maya Jama attended the Roberto Cavalli Fall 2024 Ready-to-Wear shoot in February.
Last month, Dune actress Zendaya wore Cavalli at the Green Carpet Fashion Awards.
She sported a grey fringed Roberto Cavalli gown from the spring/summer 2011 collection, with a deep-V neckline and an open back.
Her Cavalli outfit at the event tapped into the resurgence of the boho trend – recently seen during Paris Fashion Week.
Sex And The City’s famously fashion-first lead character Carrie Bradshaw, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, notably wore a Cavalli top in an episode of the series.
“We had that top for years in our wardrobe; I think we bought it at a sample sale,” Rebecca Weinberg, one of the SATC costume designers told InStyle last month during an interview about the show’s fashionable moments.
The fashion industry legend explained they would be calling the new arrival Giorgio, in tribute to his father who was shot by Nazis during the Second World War.
At the time, he told magazine Novella 2000: “Sandra is doing fine.
“The baby, who was born a week ago right here in Florence, is beautiful and it was really emotional to see him right after he was born.
“His name is Giorgio, like his grandfather, my father whom the Nazis shot in the Cavriglia massacre when I was four years old.”
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He has kids Robert, Rachele (left) and Daniele from his second marriageCredit: Rex
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The designer with his second wife and son RobinCredit: Rex
