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Tag: self love

  • 7 Types of Self-Care and How to Practice Them

    7 Types of Self-Care and How to Practice Them

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    In our fast-paced world, finding time to focus on personal well-being can sometimes seem impossible. There are too many things to do and not enough time.

    However, self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s necessary to maintain balance and joy in our lives. Whether navigating the highs and lows of daily life or tackling stress head-on, discovering the right self-care practices for your needs can make all the difference.

    From nurturing your body and mind to fostering soulful relaxation, self-care takes many forms, each as unique as the individual who embraces it.

    So buckle up for a rejuvenating self-care journey as we explore seven transformative types of self-care and practical tips for seamlessly integrating self-care into your daily routine.

    It’s time to prioritize you!

    So, let’s look at the seven types of self-care and how you can practice each type to improve your life.

    But first, let’s quickly review precisely what self-care is.

    What Is Self-Care?

    There is a lot of history behind the concept of self-care, with external forces pushing this concept to the forefront of people’s minds. But, no matter why you’re practicing it, self-care serves the same purpose: to combat stress.

    We all know that you cannot function at your best or take care of others without taking proper care of yourself. This doesn’t just apply to taking care of your physical self– it also requires your attention in life domains such as mental and emotional health.

    In our epidemic of anxiety and depression, taking care of yourself is more important than ever.

    At its heart, self-care is preventive maintenance.

    If you had a fancy new car but never did any sort of preventive maintenance to keep it in tip-top shape, you would not have a nice car for too long. It would quickly become broken down.

    The same is true in life. We need self care to stay our “best selves”.

    Continuously practicing preventative maintenance regarding all areas of your health and taking an active approach to your own well-being will allow you to cope with potential illness and disability in a partnership manner with your healthcare provider and regain control over your life.

    Let’s look at how you can do this.

    7 Types of Self-Care and How to Practice Them

    1. Physical Self Care

    This type of self-care is the one that you’re most likely already familiar with. Physical self-care isn’t just about meeting your basic needs of food, water, sleep, and shelter. But it’s also not just about getting pedicures and massages every day. There are several dos and don’ts when it comes to physical self-care that you can practice to ensure your body is functioning at its best.

    This means getting regular exercise, eating healthy foods, staying hydrated, practicing proper hand-washing and other hygiene habits, and giving your body the proper rest that it needs. When you prioritize physical self-care, you give your body the best opportunity to operate efficiently and effectively. 

    You become powered by natural energy when practicing physical self-care, which allows you to feel healthy and capable. Your immune system will be strengthened, which will aid your body in fighting off illnesses–meaning you will be sick less frequently and for shorter amounts of time than you would if you didn’t practice physical self-care.

    But practicing physical self-care also means avoiding certain things, such as drugs, alcohol, excessive sugar, and anything else that can either harm your health or make you feel icky. This means being intentional about your bedtime, not pushing through your workday when you’re feeling sick, and going to regular doctor and dentist checkups to prevent health setbacks.

    As long as you’re practicing physical self-care, you will be putting yourself in a good position to practice self-care in other domains of your life.

    How to get started:

    Simple Daily Physical Self-Care Ideas:

    • Bubble bath
    • Exercise
    • Healthcare Appointments
    • Healthy Diet
    • Hydration
    • Massage
    • Meal Prepping
    • Medication
    • Naps
    • Physical Activity
    • Restorative Yoga
    • Sleep

    2. Emotional Self Care

    Practicing emotional self-care will help you connect with your emotions, helping you process and handle them in a healthy manner.

    When you practice emotional self-care, you can react to your feelings responsibly and constructively. Emotional self-care also involves practicing self-compassion and acceptance to help you maintain a healthy inner dialogue.

    When you prioritize emotional self-care, you build the mental strength and resilience to overcome everyday challenges. Practicing emotional self-care requires acknowledging your unhealthy coping habits and learning how to replace them with healthier responses.

    It’s about taking the time to compassionately approach your feelings so you can effectively handle emotional setbacks. You can talk to a close friend about your feelings or make time to do leisurely activities that can help you learn how to process your emotions.

    How to get started with emotional self-care:

    3. Social Self Care

    Social self-care is essential to maintaining one’s mental and emotional well-being.

    Engaging in meaningful social interactions helps to reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation, fostering a sense of belonging and community.

    By connecting with others, individuals can share experiences, lend support, and develop lasting relationships that provide a crucial support network during times of stress or hardship. This connectivity not only nurtures emotional health but also encourages the development of empathy and understanding, facilitating personal growth.

    importance of self care | different types of self care | types of self care psychology
    Maintaining supportive relationships is a critical part of optimizing your mental health.

    In addition to emotional benefits, social self-care positively impacts mental health by reducing stress and increasing happiness and life satisfaction.

    Socializing with friends, family, or like-minded communities can release endorphins and other neurotransmitters, which contribute to improved mood and reduced anxiety. Furthermore, participating in social activities offers opportunities for relaxation, laughter, and fun—essential components of a balanced lifestyle.

    Engaging socially encourages individuals to break away from daily routines, providing a refreshing escape that fosters mental rejuvenation.

    Lastly, social self-care contributes to the enrichment of personal skills and development. Interacting with diverse groups of people exposes individuals to new perspectives and ideas, promoting cognitive flexibility and learning.

    These interactions can spark creativity and innovation, which are valuable in personal endeavors and professional settings. Building and maintaining strong social connections can enhance communication skills, improve teamwork, and empower individuals to navigate various social situations more effectively.

    Thus, prioritizing social self-care is integral to a holistic approach to health and wellness, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and enriched life. It is a key to emotional well-being.

    How to get started working on your social self care:

    • Set boundaries for yourself so you can find the right balance between spending time socializing and practicing personal self-care
    • Be proactive and take initiative by inviting friends along to do things you want to do instead of waiting for an invitation.
    • Make time to spend some time with close connections. Choose quality over quantity when it comes to social interactions.
    • Consider coupling your social self-care with your self-care in another sector–for example, ask a friend to go for a run with you or start a book club.
    • Rid yourself of toxic relationships.
    • At a bare minimum, set time aside for weekly calls with close friends and family.

    4. Mental/Intellectual Self-Care

    Keeping your mind sharp and continuously challenging your cognition greatly influences your psychological well-being, which is where mental self-care comes in. Anything you can do to fuel your mind and make you think in new ways will help you stay inspired to be a lifelong learner.

    Taking the time to learn something new can recharge your brain and re-energize your desire to learn.  Being intentional about exposing yourself to new ideas can not only give you a better sense of mental acuity, it can also help you feel like you’ve accomplished something. This type of self-care is especially important during a quarantine where you’re at risk of feeling cognitively stagnant. Mental self-care will help assure that you continue growing, even when the world seems to have come to a halt.

    How to get started:

    • Do some brain training games
    • Read anything– a novel, a new blog, a biography, a self-help book, journal articles, poetry, etc.
    • Learn a new skill
    • Listen to an educational podcast
    • Check out some mental health apps to get your head right. Don’t wait until stress and anxiety are issues to address these common issues.
    • Occasionally take a mental health day
      mental health apps
    • Start a new hobby for some mental stimulation.
    • Read a book for fun. (not something for professional growth)
    • Playing chess can be a great way to unwind and stimulate your brain.
    • Write something. Whether journaling or trying your hand at fiction or even blogging. Writing is a great way to work through your issues and bring clarity to your mind.

    5. Financial Self Care

    Having a calm mind when your finances are a train wreck is nearly impossible.

    Financial self-care involves reducing your financial stress by ridding yourself of bad spending habits and taking control of your money. Living with financial worries can impact all areas of your life, leading to stress, anxiety, and depression.

    When people struggle financially, they tend to ruminate about it, which leads to worsening negativity that turns into a cycle of overall pessimism.

    Practicing financial self-care can make it easier to deal with your finances by making sure you’re tracking your income versus your spending. Whether you rely on a financial planning app, listen to a personal finance podcast, or manually record all of your spending, you can practice economic self-love to help reduce your overall stress.

    No one will dispute the stress involved with having financial trouble, and practicing financial self-care may not always apply to your life if you’re struggling with unemployment or having trouble making ends meet. And while self-care won’t change these situations for you, it can help you correct how you handle them.

    Your relationship with money may look very different from your best friend’s, but you need to define how your finances shape your life and find a way to manage your money so your money doesn’t manage you.

    How to get started:

    6. Professional Self Care

    Professional self-care is meant to reduce the stress surrounding your career. I struggle to find a healthy work-life balance, so professional self-care is important to me. It makes my working hours more efficient and helps me set boundaries that mark the end of work and the start of home.

    When reading through how you can practice career self-care, you may think that some don’t apply to you or your profession.

    For example, I can’t tell you the last time I didn’t take a “working” lunch–but these things are important to everyone. No one’s job is more important than their well-being because as soon as your well-being suffers, so will your performance at work. But if you have a sense of purpose at work and make sure your career goals are SMART, you should be able to clarify that line between your time and your work time.

    How to get started:

    7. Spiritual Self Care

    No matter your spiritual beliefs, you can practice self-care through spirituality. Whether or not you consider yourself religious, caring for your soul is equally as important as caring for other aspects of yourself, and allowing all facets of your life to work together is a critical component of happiness.

    You can have a spiritual experience even when wholly consumed in your favorite activity. So, like many other sectors of life, this can look different for everyone. You may find that you have strong mental breakthroughs when you’re transitioning between yoga poses, or you feel exceptionally connected to the earth when you follow your intuition, or you feel you’re living your purpose when you engage in meditation or spend time in nature.

    Spiritual self-care involves anything you can do to tap into your spiritual side.

    How to get started:

    Final Thoughts on Types of Self-Care and How to Practice Them

    Making yourself a priority will help you become the best version of yourself, and knowing what self-care works best for you is a start.

    Whenever you start feeling burned out or a bit overwhelmed, take a minute to think about which type of self-care you might need to spend some time nurturing and get to it! With time, you’ll have a self-care routine that allows you to achieve both balance and clarity in your life, which will reduce stress and help you function at your best.

    Finally, if you’re planning to dedicate an entire day to self care, this post on self care day ideas can help.

    See more ideas on self-care:

    Connie Mathers is a professional editor and freelance writer. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Marketing and a Master’s Degree in Social Work. When she is not writing, Connie is either spending time with her daughter and two dogs, running, or working at her full-time job as a social worker in Richmond, VA.

    types of self care | types of self care activities | social self caretypes of self care | types of self care activities | social self care

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    Connie Stemmle

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  • How To Manifest Someone To Be Obsessed With You

    How To Manifest Someone To Be Obsessed With You

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    We all desire that special someone in our lives who just cannot get enough of us. Maybe, for you, that person is someone you have strong feelings for. Or perhaps, you crave that kind of connection even though there isn’t anyone specific in the picture. While it’s true that you cannot control how someone may feel about you, there are certain steps you can take to stack the odds in your favor. This guide on how to manifest someone to be obsessed with you will help you in the pursuit.

    Remember, manifestation is the act of bringing something you want/desire to reality through the power of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. To be able to tap into its full power, you need to first focus on your healing. You cannot learn how to manifest someone to fall in love with you to the point of obsession until you realize your worth, break negative thought patterns, and weed out limiting beliefs.  

    While the act of manifestation is seen as a spiritual experience, it also works on a psychological level. Let’s take a look at how to make someone obsessed with you psychology before we move on to actionable tips on manifesting obsession as well as affirmations to make him obsessed with you.

    How To Make Someone Obsessed With You Psychology

    How to make someone obsessed with you psychology taps into the principles of intention, focus, and belief. Manifestation is based on the law of attraction, which suggests that focusing on a specific outcome can influence reality. By visualizing someone being obsessed with you, you reinforce the belief that this outcome is possible. This belief, in turn, shapes your behavior, confidence, and energy in a way that augments your appeal.

    Psychologists also believe that manifestations work on a subconscious level. When you deeply and passionately desire a particular outcome, you subconsciously start acting in ways that align with that desire. For instance, if you have been wondering how to manifest someone to fall in love with you, you may start engaging in positive interactions with that person, be more emotionally open and available, and conduct yourself in a way that makes you more attractive to them.

    Manifestations work as self-fulfilling prophecies

    This shift in your own mindset, in turn, influences how the person in question perceives you and engages with you. On a psychological level, manifestations work as self-fulfilling prophecies that drive changes within a person in line with their desired outcome. The psychology behind manifesting someone to be obsessed with you hinges on:

    • An emotional connection: People are drawn to those who make them feel understood and valued
    • The scarcity principle: People desire what they can’t have. That’s why the manifestation process often involves avoiding being overly available to the person you desire
    • Dopamine release: Positive experiences stimulate dopamine, which makes people associate you with happiness
    • Mystery and curiosity: When you keep a person intrigued, they’re likely to feel more drawn to you

    Related Reading: How To Manifest Love Using The Law Of Attraction

    11 Tips On How To Manifest Someone To Be Obsessed With You

    Whether you’re spiritually inclined or seek scientific reason in things, you can believe that it’s possible to learn how to manifest someone to think about you to the point of obsession. Often in our lives, so many things are achieved because our strong belief drives us to push the boundaries and achieve the unthinkable. If you want to tap into the true power of manifestation, hold fast to the belief and watch the magic unfold.

    how to manifest someone to fall in love with you
    Believe in the magic and watch the universe align to make your dreams come true

    Just like it did for Sarah, an advertising professional who felt a deep connection with a coworker but was stuck in the friend zone with him. She wanted more and decided to use manifestation techniques to will her desire into life. In her bid to figure out how to make someone obsessed with you, she used the following techniques:

    • Visualization: Sarah spent 10 minutes every day visualizing detailed scenarios of her coworker being romantically obsessed with her
    • Affirmations: She used affirmations like, “He is constantly drawn to me” and “I am irresistible to him” multiple times daily to reinforce her belief
    • Gratitude: She practiced gratitude, acting as if she was already in a relationship with him and thanking the universe for the connection

    The outcome? Slowly but surely, she started noticing that her coworker sought out her company and looked for excuses to spend time with her. The more time they spent together, the deeper their connection grew. In a couple of months, he asked her out on a date and they have been going steady since. Is that exactly what you’ve been hoping for? Let’s help you get started with these actionable tips on how to manifest someone to be obsessed with you:

    Related Reading: 21 Powerful Manifestation Quotes to Help You Achieve Your Goals

    1. Set a clear intention

    For the power of manifestation to work for you, you need to be absolutely clear about what it is that you seek. In this case, if your focus is on how to make someone obsessed with you, it needs to shine through in your manifestations. Talking about the importance of clarity, life coach Tony Robbins says, “Clarity is power. The more specific you are about what you want, the easier it becomes to manifest it.”

    2. Visualize them being obsessed with you

    Motivational speaker Bo Bennett says, “Visualization is daydreaming with a purpose.” And it plays an immensely crucial role in your manifestation journey. We’ve already seen its effectiveness in Sarah’s experience. So, dedicate time each date to visualize this person being obsessed with you. To make someone fall in love with you, make the scenarios as detailed as possible. Here are some examples:

    • Imagine that this person cannot stop thinking about you. Picture them going through their day, driving, sitting in meetings, working at their desk, and you’re on their mind all the time
    • Imagine this person cannot get enough of you. They call you the first time in the morning, text you back and forth through the day, and rush to see you as soon as they’re done with work. Picture them wanting to spend every waking moment with you and dreaming of you when asleep

    3. Live the desire you want to manifest

    how to manifest someone to think about you
    Live the dream and your dream will come true

    As author Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are.” That holds the key to how to manifest someone to be obsessed with you. Live your life as if this desire of yours has already come true and it has bolstered you to live your best life. Make them notice you and be obsessed with you by,

    • Exuding confidence
    • Practicing self-love
    • Nurturing your positive traits

    4. Believe it’s possible to make someone obsessed with you

    How to make someone obsessed with you through the power of manifestation? Believe that it can happen. As we discussed when talking about the how to make someone obsessed with you psychology, when you are absolutely unwavering in your conviction that something can happen, your subconscious mind starts influencing your behavior and energy in a way that it aligns with your goal.

    “What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.” – Buddha

    5. Elevate your vibration

    Your odds of manifesting a deep-seated desire increase manifold when you operate from a positive emotional state. When you want the universe to align with your desire and bring it to life, the right energy, frequency, and vibration are everything. So make sure you reverberate the best versions of yourself. You can do this by:

    • Practicing gratitude for all that you’ve got going for you
    • Engaging in activities that bring you joy
    • Surrounding yourself with positive people

    Related Reading: 21 Unrevealed Tips To Help You Find Love

    6. Weed out limiting beliefs

    Limiting belief instills self-doubt, makes you question your worth, and erodes the conviction you need to manifest your deepest desires into reality. So, if you truly want to know how to manifest someone to think about you to the point of obsession and stir up in them a deep love for you, you need to begin by eliminating doubts like “I’m not good enough.” Reprogram your mind to see yourself as someone they would naturally be obsessed with. Here is how you can do that:

    • Identify the limiting belief that is holding you back
    • Challenge the belief by looking for evidence that disproves it
    • Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations
    • Take small, consistent steps toward growth

    7. Practice gratitude

    Take a leaf out of Sarah’s approach on how to manifest someone to be obsessed with you and start expressing gratitude as if the person you have in mind is already besotted with you. Explaining why this is important, author Melody Beattie says, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough.” Gratitude also brings in more positive energy in your life and sets the stage for what’s coming.

    8. Use affirmations to make him/her obsessed with you

    affirmations to make him obsessed with you
    Send your hidden desires out in the universe through affirmations

    Psychologist Dr. Carmen Harra says, “Affirmations to attract love are a powerful way to purify our thoughts and restructure the dynamic of our brains.” So tap into the power of words when you’re trying to figure out how to manifest someone to fall in love with you obsessively. Repeating affirmations to make him obsessed with you or make her long for you, like “He is attracted to me” or “I am magnetic and irresistible to her”, helps build belief and confidence.

    Related Reading: 40 Relationship Affirmations To Use For Your Love Life

    9. Detach from the outcome

    This is perhaps the hardest part of how to manifest someone to be obsessed with you. Do the work, put in your most earnest effort, and then emotionally detach yourself from the outcome. Trust the universe to reward you by manifesting your desire into reality.

    Meanwhile, go about living your best life without obsessing over when or how soon you will get to see the result of your manifestation process. Talking about why this hard step is essential, Eckhart Tolle, a spiritual teacher, says “When you let go of control, you increase the likelihood of everything falling into place.”

    10.  Engage in self-love

    In your bid to figure out how to manifest someone to fall in love with you to the point of obsession, don’t forget to love and prioritize yourself. Remember, when you love and care for yourself, you become naturally more attractive to others. So, while the universe does its magic, you focus on:

    • Practicing self-compassion
    • Celebrating your achievements
    • Engaging in self-care
    • Surrounding yourself with positivity
    • Pursuing your passions
    • Positive self-talk

    “How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” – Rupi Kaur, Poet

    11.  Take inspired action

    You’ve practiced your affirmations, visualized that special someone to be obsessed with you, and expressed your gratitude for it. Now, don’t just sit back and wait for a magic wand to be waved in a galaxy far, far away, sending this person running in your direction. You cannot be a passive participant in your journey of manifesting someone to be obsessed with you. You need to make a move on him or her. Reach out to the person or create opportunities for meaningful interactions, but ensure it feels natural, not forced.

    Benefits And Risks Of Manifesting Someone To Be Obsessed With You

    Now that you know all there is to know about how to manifest someone to be obsessed with you, take a moment to assess whether going down this road will be the right decision for you. Of course, there are no absolute answers here and it all depends on your situation and what you seek to achieve from having someone be obsessed with you. To help you make that assessment, let’s take a closer look at the benefits and risks of manifesting someone to be obsessed with you:

    Benefits Risks
    1. Increased self-confidence: The process of manifesting requires you to focus on self-love and positive energy, which can naturally boost your self-worth, self-esteem, and attractiveness. 1. Emotional dependence: If the focus becomes obsessive, you may develop an unhealthy emotional attachment to the outcome, making you dependent on someone else’s validation for your happiness.
    2. Clear intentions: Manifestation helps clarify your desires and intentions, allowing you to be more deliberate in your thoughts, emotions, and actions toward relationships. 2. Unrealistic expectations: Manifestation can create unrealistic expectations, where you assume someone will behave a certain way without taking into account their free will and emotions.
    3. Enhanced personal growth: The focus on personal development, such as raising your vibration and practicing gratitude, can lead to overall growth and happiness beyond the relationship. 3. Ethical concerns: Trying to manifest someone’s obsession with you could manipulate their feelings or actions, raising ethical questions about free will and consent.
    4. Emotional control: Practicing techniques like visualization and affirmations can give you greater emotional control, helping you remain calm and focused on your goals. 4. Disappointment and frustration: If the manifestation doesn’t lead to the desired outcome, it can cause frustration, disappointment, or emotional distress, especially if you have invested significant time and energy.
    5. Positive mindset: Manifesting encourages a mindset of abundance, optimism, and faith in the universe, which can improve your general outlook on life. 5. Neglect of self: Focusing too much on manifesting another person can cause you to lose sight of your own needs, goals, and well-being, potentially leading to emotional burnout.

    Infographic On 50 Affirmations To Make Him Obsessed With You

    Got that special man in your life that you’re obsessed with and can’t help but want him to reciprocate those feelings with the same intensity? Try these 50 affirmations to make him obsessed with you, focusing on building self-confidence, attraction, and emotional connection:

    infographic on Affirmations To Make Him Obsessed With You
    Tap into the power of words to make your dream come true

    Key Pointers

    • Manifestation is the act of bringing something you want/desire to reality through the power of your thoughts, feelings, and actions
    • Psychologists also believe that manifestations work on a subconscious level, as self-fulfilling prophecies that drive changes within a person in line with their desired outcome
    • The key to how to manifest someone to be obsessed with you lies in setting a clear intention, powerful visualizations, practicing gratitude, elevating your vibrations, and focusing on becoming the best version of yourself
    • Manifesting someone to be obsessed with you can be a double-edged sword. Make sure you understand the benefits and risks before going down this road
    • Once you do, surrender yourself and embrace the process with complete conviction

    Final Thoughts

    Above all else, the answer to how to make someone obsessed with you through the power of manifestation lies in complete belief and surrendering to the process. That can only happen if your heart is in the right place. Do not try to manifest obsession as a means to control or manipulate someone but to share a pure, deep love with them.

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  • Tips for Preserving Your Independence in Love and Relationships

    Tips for Preserving Your Independence in Love and Relationships

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     6 Tips for Preserving Your Independence in Love and Relationships

    You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.

    Over the years, as a single woman over 50, you’ve had to learn how to be strong and independent.

    There was no other choice if you – or you and your kids were going to be ok.

    Now you want a man in your life.

    But a little piece is tugging at you wondering if you bring someone into your life, will you have to give up the independence you’ve worked so hard to achieve.

    This concern is real and that’s why today I want to share 6 tips about how you can find love with a good man and still firmly hold onto your independence.


    Tip #1 – Understanding Your Fear

    The fear of losing your independence in a relationship often comes from past experiences.

    Think about your parents marriage before Women’s Lib or the TV show’s you watched as a kid where a woman self-sacrificed to accommodate her spouses needs.

    Maybe this happened in your marriage as well and when you think of being in a relationship with a new man, it brings up the fear of losing your independence again.

    It’s perfectly okay to feel a little hesitant—everyone does!

    But I want you to remember, you’re in charge of your life, and any relationship you choose can respect your space and the way you live.

    And it starts with . . .

    Tip #2 – Setting Boundaries

    Boundaries help you feel safe and comfortable.

    As you’re getting to know someone, you’ll want to talk about what you’re okay with and what you need in terms of alone time and doing your own thing.

    I remember going out with a man who wanted someone around all the time.

    I’m pretty independent so I knew this would be too much for me.

    We became friends and hung out from time to time when neither of us was dating which was great.

    By sharing your boundaries and what works for you, it helps the two of you create a healthy relationship that includes plenty of room for love but also for you to be yourself.

    Tip #3 – Maintaining Your Lifestyle

    A common concern is that a new relationship will upend your existing lifestyle.

    Remember, you’re the architect of your life.

    It’s important for you to continue engaging in activities you love, whether it’s working, pursuing hobbies, or hanging out with friends.

    Integrating a partner into your life does not mean abandoning your routine; it’s about finding someone who complements your lifestyle, not overtakes it.

    Tip #4 – Communicating Your Needs

    Communication is vital in any relationship, especially when it comes to preserving your independence.

    You want to remember that men are not mind readers. (yes, it would be amazing if they were mind readers but when let’s face it, we aren’t either)

    And that’s why you’ll want to be with a man you feel comfortable expressing your needs, your non-negotiables, and your vision for a relationship so the two of you can create one that works for BOTH OF YOU.

    Tip #5 – Choosing the Right Partner

    The right man will make you feel more like yourself, not less.

    He will champion your independence rather than challenge it.

    When you find a man who enriches your life without encroaching on your autonomy, you’ll know the balance is just right.

    Finding a man who values his independence as much as you do can be a game-changer.

    Tip #6 – Embracing Interdependence

    Being independent is great, but working together with someone can make things even better.

    This kind of teamwork means you can still take care of yourself while also getting help and improving your life with the support of a partner.

    I hope these 6 Tips have given you peace of mind that being in a loving relationship does not mean you have to surrender your independence.

    Instead, it’s an opportunity to bring someone into your world who adds to it without diminishing who you are.

    And that can be a wonderful experience that respects your independence and allows you to write a new chapter in your life, one with companionship and personal freedom holding equal weight in your love story.

    Believing in You!

    Lisa

    Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .

    💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.

    If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:

    1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.

    2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, “The Winning Dating Formula.” It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.

    3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.

    4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.

    Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹

    Love this article? Sign up by clicking here to receive my weekly blog.

    Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.


    On May 22, 2024       /   Confidence after 50, Dating Advice Over 50  

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    Lisa

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  • How to Handle Energy Vampires

    How to Handle Energy Vampires

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    We all have a finite number of hours in the day to work, cook and eat, sleep, socialize, exercise, pursue hobbies, do nothing and all of the other things that make life awesome. Nature abhors a vacuum and so we fill what time we have. As life remains full to the brim, I do everything I can to protect myself from the drains. These are the people, thoughts, activities, and tasks that make our days more exhausting than they need to be. I am talking about energy vampires and they can leave us feeling absolutely depleted at the end of the day. Imagine what they do over a week, a month and a lifetime?

    The consequences of persistent exposure to energy vampires can be as damaging to our health as poor eating habits or lack of sleep and exercise. Managing the impact of energy vampires is challenging. We have to be smart and committed! This requires our own discipline, delicacy and diplomacy. I have definitely not mastered the subtle art of dodging the human energy vampires, but as an art, it’s always a work in progress. Here’s what I have for you that has helped me better handle them.

    What Are Energy Vampires?

    The Human Form of Energy Vampires

    The most common type of energy vampires are the human form. These are people who tend toward the “me, me, me” train of thought, and find it difficult to see beyond their own point of view. The biggest challenge with the human energy vampire is that because they are so focussed on their needs and wants, they usually have absolutely no awareness as to the impact they are having. They don’t see the pile of exhausted humans that trail behind their interactions. With a simple conversation, a passive aggressive criticism, where before you had a skip in your step, you’re now feeling zapped of your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual energy (or a combination of these).

    The human energy vampires could be friends, family members, co-workers or romantic partners.

    Human energy vampires can suck the wind from your sails in many ways:

    • Overly dramatic: creating large problems or drama when there is in fact very little offence
    • Whiny: constantly complaining about everything that happens to them, or having a ‘why me?’ attitude
    • Negative: always seeing the bad things and never focusing on the good or practicing gratitude
    • Blaming: nothing is ever their fault and they are reluctant to take personal responsibility; they can often play the victim
    • Insecure: they feel sad, low or insecure about their lives and abilities, so they are constantly seeking affirmation from others
    • Jealous: feeling jealous or resentful of what you or other people have going on, so they may behave with spite or try to downplay your accomplishments
    • Dominant: always the centre of attention and very outgoing, but never stops to listen, pay attention or ask how anyone else is doing
    • Gossipy: focusing on other people’s behaviour and constantly talking about (or judging) others
    • Needy: relying on others too much, not developing resourcefulness or self-sufficiency
    • Prone to giving guilt trips: using emotional manipulation to make you feel guilty so they can get what they want

    In general, energy vampires have trouble coping with their own lives so they feed off others to sustain themselves. Unfortunately, that is very draining and downright unpleasant for those around them.

    Thought-Induced Energy Vampires

    Thoughts in and of themselves can be our own worst energy vampire. We can manufacture our own stress around the future, around an activity, a work assignment, a relationship and let those thoughts spin beyond our grasp. I often refer to this form of vampirism as The Iron Filings. Think of being a kid in the 80s when you were allowed to play with magnets and loose iron filings in school. You’d drag the magnet along the floor and the iron filings would magnetize and stick to others. This is similar to what happens with our thoughts – one challenging thought begins to pick up speed and as it does, starts collecting a whole bunch of other stressful and draining thoughts along with it.

    Our own stressful thoughts are one of the greatest drains on our energy, and producer of stress in our lives. Most often these thoughts pertain to things that happened in the past, or that might happen in the future, yet both are out of our control, are unchangeable (especially if they happened in the past), and have no bearing on reality and most likely not going to happen in the future. It’s basically a stress we create in our own mind that we allow to dominate our emotions and drain us of energy.

    Our thoughts can turn any communication, task or activity into an energy drain simply by choosing to worry, dread, fret or delay (yes, procrastination is another very common thought-triggered energy vampire).

    And some of us (I count myself here) are simply more sensitive to our surroundings and internal processes than others. This is where empathy comes in.

    empaths and empathy

    Energy vampires cannot feed off one another – they need someone who will bear the load of their problems and emotions. This could feasibly be anyone who is kind and compassionate, but often it is empaths that are especially susceptible to energy vampires. Have you ever heard of an intuitive empath. You know at least one. Me.

    Empaths are highly sensitive and highly intuitive people who easily absorb other people’s emotions. Dr. Judith Orloff, a psychotherapist, has written extensively about empaths and how they can best survive in the world when it so easy for them to become overwhelmed with the problems of others. You can read more about the common traits of empaths here, which include being introverted and feeling replenished by nature, among many other qualities.

    Empathy is an incredibly important quality to develop and practice. It allows us to understand how other people are feeling from their point of view, which in turn allows us to be warmhearted and understanding. Empathy has evolutionary roots and we are biologically designed this way (though some of us have a more innate ability than others, it can definitely be taught).

    While we tend to think of human survival in terms of ‘survival of the fittest’, the truth is we can’t survive alone. Empathy allows us to create communities, feel connected to one another, find our community, have satisfying social lives and help each other survive and thrive. In a medical context, empathy from doctors, nurses and other medical professionals leads to greater patient satisfaction and better health outcomes. Studies of healthcare professionals show that staff who are burned out tend to have lower empathy. This makes sense – when you are depleted, you have less capacity to take on anything else.

    Not all people who are empathetic are empaths, and this may allow them to set more distinct boundaries with energy vampires.

    Intuitive empaths become prime targets and prime reactionaries to the internal vampires that are their own thoughts and external vampires that are energy-zapping humans. We are simply more sensitive and responsive to both our inner and outer environments.

    Health Risks of Energy Vampires

    Our brains and bodies are intricately connected, and we are designed to bond and socialize with other people. Social interaction can produce oxytocin, a hormone that can facilitate love, security and calm the nervous system. When we interact with energy vampires, the whole ordeal can cause us to release the stress hormone cortisol. This induces a stress cascade that may lead to:

    First Work On Yourself

    Sometimes what we experience in the world is actually a mirror of how we are. If you notice that everyone in your life is sucking the life out of you, take some time to take an honest look at yourself. Are you in any way an active participant in the patterns that are unfolding? This doesn’t excuse anyone else’s actions, but it may help you change or reduce how often this is happening.

    The other thing to remember is the role our own thoughts play in how we experience the world around us. We have the power to turn an innocent comment into a major drama, simply by thinking of it that way. To combat these tendencies, it’s important to find ways to make our minds work in favour of a positive and stabilized mood, such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), and allowing time to rest so we can be less reactive and have better responsiveness.

    Yes, working on ourselves is key, but we also need to know how to arm against the energy vampires, too. I offer some guidance on how to work with them and, if needed, get away from them – because ultimately, we have the choice to decide how we respond to the world around us.

    How to Deal with Energy Vampires in Life and At Work

    In an ideal world, we’d “Marie Kondo” the heck out of those energy vampires and never have to deal with them (they certainly don’t spark joy!). Unfortunately, we can’t always avoid being in the presence of an energy vampire at work, at family gatherings or in social situations. And for those of us with active minds, even a passing, innocent comment can spark the internal thought-induced energy vampire. The magnet hits the iron filings and the cascade of spinning and draining begins. Thankfully, being around an energy vampire doesn’t have to suck the energy out of you.

    A first step is realizing that we can’t change energy vampires (or anyone else, for that matter). We can only alter our own behaviours and attitudes. These tips can help you handle energy vampires and your own wellbeing at the same time.

    The only thing we can ever control is how we respond to what’s happening in our minds and in our lives.

    Reduce or Limit Contact with Energy Vampires

    You may not be able to cut someone out of your life completely, but that doesn’t mean you have to see them or talk to them all the time. It is well within your right to turn down an invitation to a family dinner or after work drinks if you know an energy vampire will be there, or if the gathering is small enough that you can’t engage with other people. No need to create an elaborate excuse or lie – a simple, “I have plans” will suffice. If necessary, a full severing of ties may be needed.

    Set Boundaries and Say No

    If you are in a situation where you can’t avoid an energy vampire, set boundaries for both yourself and the vampire. For example, you may resolve to only stay for an hour and then make a polite exit, without being deterred by the energy vampire’s pleading. You can also set boundaries within the conversation you’re having with the other person by not encouraging their behaviour – that may mean shutting down the conversation or changing the topic. Dr. Orloff has some strategies that will help based on the type of energy vampire you are dealing with.

     

    In some situations, you may be able to place a physical boundary by going to another room, shutting the door of your office or putting headphones on. If a physical barrier isn’t available, Dr. Orloff describes creating a mental/emotional shield for yourself that will help protect you.

    Call the Energy Vampires on Their Behaviour

    This option can be tricky and requires finesse, but sometimes you have to challenge energy vampires and confront their behaviours head on. They may learn empathy from this, or they might not, but at least it may redirect the interaction to a more positive light. For example, if someone is endlessly complaining you could tell them you will listen to one more complaint, and then they have to tell you five positive things about their day.

    Encourage Resiliency

    For the energy vampires who are needy and insecure, guiding them to resiliency or affirming a positive outcome can help. Instead of coming up with solutions or suggestions that will fix the problem for them (which may lead to them continually returning to you for solutions), say something like, “I’m confident you have the ability to figure this out” or “I know you are going to come up with the best solution that’s right for you/this situation”. In this way, you’re not directly addressing their insecurities with rote compliments but reminding them they have the skills and abilities to succeed.

    Remind Yourself of Your Own Strength

    Energy vampires seek you out because you are strong, competent and wonderful to be around. It’s this strength of character that will fortify you against them – an energy vampire can only drain you if you continue to let them. Remind yourself that you are strong – use a mantra if you find it helpful.

    Practice Physical and Emotional Self-Care

    Prioritize whatever you need to do to maintain your physical, emotional and spiritual health. That might be hobbies, baths, meditation, exercise, napping, or whatever you need to feel nourished and replenished, especially if an interaction with an energy vampire is depleting. I have a few detailed guides to self-care you can peruse for ideas:

    Seek Out the Energy Boosters

    Surround yourself with incredible people as much as you can – those who energize you, are supportive and empathetic, and have a true desire to help you succeed. The more time you spend in situations with an equitable energy exchange, the less you will feel depleted or taken advantage of.

    Ask for Help

    Call on partners, colleagues or friends to help you handle energy vampires: you don’t have to deal with them on your own. Some people are discerning and will naturally learn your cues quickly when you need them to step in and help, but in many cases it’s best to be upfront with what you need. Tell them to never leave you alone with Uncle So and So or devise other strategies to help you diffuse or handle energy vampire situations.

    Children can also be energy vampires – though with the most innocent and pure of hearts, of course. While there are some gendered differences in how men and women develop and express empathy, the burden of empathy often falls to women through social conditioning. Ask for help with children, too, whether you are female or male, to keep yourself healthy and sane.

    Keep It Professional at Work

     

    Energy Vampires Further Reading and Resources

     

    One more thing before I leave you on your way to ponder the vampires in your life. You could be one, too. Just something to consider. What is the energy you are putting out, and what is the energy you are taking? This is something to consider in your own interactions. We want to aim for the balance. With friends and family, optimally the balance is over a lifetime. Sometimes we give and sometimes we take. Giving, however, doesn’t need to be a drain. It’s ultimately up to each of us to determine the boundaries, and set our own limits.

    How to Handle Energy Vampires

    On My Mind Episode 12: How to Handle Energy Vampires

    Subscribe today on your favourite podcast app and never miss an episode.

    On My Mind Podcast episode 12On My Mind Podcast episode 12

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    Meghan Telpner

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  • Weaponized Incompetence: What Is It & How to Deal With It

    Weaponized Incompetence: What Is It & How to Deal With It

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    There’s nothing more frustrating (it’s in the top ten, at least) than asking for a little help, and the response you get back is a shrug, a puzzled look, and a mumbled “I don’t know how to do that.” 

    That, in a nutshell, is weaponized incompetence. It’s a clever tactic, really, where avoiding chores and tasks turns into an art form. One that’s less about not knowing and more about pretending to be clueless to sidestep responsibilities.

    “All long-term partnerships go through disappointment,” says Donna Eden, an energy medicine expert and trainer of The Energies of Love Quest. “They go through anger, and emotional riffs, and worse.”

    But the thing is, if you’ve got someone “playing dumb” with you at home or in the office, it might be time to learn how to turn the tables on this frustrating behavior. 

    What Is Weaponized Incompetence?

    Look up the “weaponized incompetence” meaning, and you’re sure to find a not-so-secret code for when someone deliberately acts helpless or bungles tasks to avoid responsibility or manipulate you into doing them. Also known as strategic incompetence, it’s one heck of a passive-aggressive behavior.

    While it might seem like harmless laziness, it can wreak havoc on your relationship. And it can leave you feeling resentful and undervalued.

    What’s more, evidence shows that relationships are more likely to end where the housework is unbalanced, particularly when the woman of the house takes on more. Even in the office, one study found that employees who feel their workload is fair are more satisfied with their jobs.

    Although weaponized incompetence can be a form of emotional warfare, the person using it might not even realize they’re doing it. They might even genuinely believe they’re not good at certain tasks, or they might be hoping to avoid feeling obligated to do chores they find tedious.

    But the effect is the same: It creates an uneven workload and leaves you feeling like you’re shouldering most of the burden.

    Weaponized incompetence vs. learned helplessness

    There’s a similarity between weaponized incompetence and learned helplessness: both end up not doing tasks. However, the reasons behind them are quite different.

    • Weaponized incompetence: The person knows how to do the task but chooses not to. Their goal is to manipulate you, not express genuine helplessness.
    • Learned helplessness: This is a psychological condition where someone repeatedly experiences negative outcomes and stops trying, believing their efforts are futile.

    What does that look like? If your partner struggles with a new task and genuinely wants to learn, that’s learned helplessness. But if they play the ignorance card, especially if they’ve done it before, that’s weaponized incompetence.

    Signs and Examples

    In what ways can this deliberate avoidance of tasks manifest itself? There are some common signs, plus weaponized incompetence examples, to watch out for:

    • They suddenly (and conveniently) “forget” things. Birthdays, anniversaries, or parent-teacher meetings tend to slip their minds, but they never miss a sports game or a night out with friends. “I’m just bad with dates” becomes a get-out-of-jail-free card.
    • They have selective competence, excelling at tasks they enjoy but fumbling at the ones they don’t. Like only washing the plates and cups but leaving the pots and pans in the sink. “Pots and pans just aren’t my thing,” they shrug, leaving the sink in a pile of chaos.
    • They always seem to misunderstand you. “I thought this is what you wanted,” they say with a bewildered look. And no matter how meticulously you explain how you want something done, they consistently misinterpret or “forget” crucial details, leading to subpar results.
    • They use the ol’ guilt trip play, completing tasks poorly and then playing the victim, so you end up feeling guilty for asking. They might “accidentally” shrink your favorite shirt in the dryer and claim, “But… I followed the instructions,” eyes wide with innocence. They look so genuinely upset that you find yourself becoming the people-pleaser and comforting them, doll-sized shirt forgotten.

    Passive-aggressive people, like those who use weaponized incompetence, tend to have a hard time overtly expressing anger, according to Dr. Laura Berman, a well-known relationship therapist and trainer of Mindvalley’s Quantum Love: The Blueprint for Extraordinary Relationships Quest. So they do so more…well, passive aggressively.

    So if you want any chance of transforming your relationship, love or work-wise, recognizing these patterns of manipulation is crucial.

    Who Uses It the Most and Why?

    There’s no gender bias when it comes to weaponized incompetence. However, research suggests that it shows up more where traditional gender roles exist.

    A Pew Research Center study found that women in heterosexual relationships “pick up a heavier load when it comes to household chores and caregiving responsibilities.” This imbalance can cause resentment on the part of women, which, then, may lead some men to use this sneaky tactic to avoid additional chores.

    With that being said, it’s also important to remember that anyone, regardless of their gender, may resort to weaponized incompetence. It could be out of laziness, a desire to maintain control, or that they simply get out of uncomfortable conversations about whatever tasks are at hand.

    The thing is, though, that the key to conflict management and balancing out the dynamics is to understand the “why” behind the behavior. 

    Colleagues with their hands in their pockets dealing with weaponized incompetence in an office

    How to Deal With Weaponized Incompetence: 3 Tips From Relationship Experts

    Just because you’re dealing with such passive-aggressive behavior doesn’t mean you have to be a martyr to the mess. 

    As Donna says, “If your relationship is not going well at the moment, know this is not only normal; it is one of those inconvenient opportunities to deepen your relationship.”

    So whether it’s weaponized incompetence in the workplace or at home, here are three expert-backed tips to get you through to the other side.

    1. Disarm your stress reactions

    No doubt, arguments, especially about household chores or work tasks, can trigger even the most patient of people. This is because our brains are wired with the fight-or-flight response that kicks in during stressful situations. And while it’s meant to keep us safe from danger, it can hurt our relationships.

    So how do you disarm these primal instincts so that you can communicate more effectively? Donna has some tips:

    • Recognize when you’re reacting out of instinct rather than logic. Does a simple chore discussion turn into a full-blown argument? This might be a sign of your primal response taking control.
    • Use the Triple Warmer Smoothie, a technique that involves gentle touches and movements on specific pressure points. This’ll essentially signal to your body that you’re safe and there’s no need for a fight-or-flight response.
    • Have empathy for the other person. Remember, they might also be experiencing their own primal instincts during disagreements.

    If your husband (or wife) uses weaponized incompetence as a primal panic reaction, taking it personally misses the point, according to Donna. “Rather than becoming defensive and fighting or fleeing, compassion is the medicine your relationship needs at that moment.”

    2. Set a clear and positive intention for your conversation

    Communication is key when frustrations over undone chores or tasks bubble up. But setting a positive intention is equally important.

    This’ll help steer the conversation towards solutions rather than blame. Here’s how to use this powerful tool:

    • Think about what you truly want from your relationship, such as greater understanding, patience, or more shared moments of fun. Consider how these desires align with your and your partner’s love languages—whether it’s words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch.
    • Share these intentions with your partner. “Your stated intention can be focused more on yourself, on your relationship, or on both,” says Donna. But the most important thing is, when you both know what the other is aiming for, it makes it easier to support each other.
    • Use reminders to keep your intentions at the front of your mind. This could be a note on the fridge, a daily alarm on your phone, or a simple bracelet that reminds you of your commitment. 

    One major thing to keep in mind is to be flexible. Life throws curveballs, and what you intended at the start of the year might not fit later on. It’s okay to adjust your intentions as you both grow and change.

    3. Take responsibility for your own part

    You’ve likely heard the phrase, “It takes two to tango.” And in any relationship dynamic, even one with weaponized incompetence, it can help to focus on taking responsibility for your own part.

    This doesn’t mean excusing the other person’s passive-aggressive behavior, oh no. Rather, it acknowledges that conflicts often involve contributions from both sides. 

    The fact of the matter is, when you point the finger and get stuck in a “victim-villain-hero” cycle (feeling helpless, attacking, or rescuing), it’s hard to find solutions. And when you’re so convinced you’re right and they’re wrong, it can lead to feelings of victimhood, blame, and a constant struggle for control.

    So, how do you break free? Dr. Berman suggests self-reflection. 

    “When you catch yourself wanting to roll your eyes over something your partner says or does,” she says, “the idea is to stop and ask yourself, ‘Huh, why is this resonating with me in this way? What is my reaction telling me about me?’”

    This allows you to understand what triggers you and what your boundaries are, and to take responsibility for your part. As a result, you can break the cycle of your people-pleasing tendencies and move towards a healthier, more balanced relationship.

    Love Deeper, Connect Stronger

    Recognizing patterns like weaponized incompetence or other challenging traits in your relationship can be the first step toward profound change.

    With Mindvalley’s unique programs, such as Donna Eden’s The Energies of Love Quest and Dr. Laura Berman’s Quantum Love: The Blueprint for Extraordinary Relationships Quest, you’re invited to explore the depths of connection and communication.

    The great thing is, these courses offer free classes on enhancing relationships—be it love or work. And they equip you with the tools and techniques to deeply understand each other, feel heard and appreciated, and navigate through conflicts to find your way back to energetic harmony and quantum love.

    Welcome in.

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    Tatiana Azman

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  • Prioritize Your Needs and Live Your Best Life

    Prioritize Your Needs and Live Your Best Life

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    There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.

    First.  Second. Third.  Where do you come into play when setting your priorities?

    If you didn’t answer “first”… you should take a good look at yourself and rethink things.

    Making yourself a priority, especially your physical and mental well-being, is the best way to put your best self out there for all the world to see.  Nobody benefits from a tired or depressed version of yourself… especially not you.

    Know that your needs matter… and commit to prioritizing them. Your best moments and acts in life will come when your basic needs are met.

    So are you ready to live your best life?

    It starts by putting your priorities first.

    Why Make Yourself a Priority

    A healthy life consists of engaging in activities meant to help you function at your best… activities like exercising, eating healthily, hydrating yourself and getting enough rest.

    You won’t concentrate at work if you don’t get enough sleep. You’ll be low on energy during spin class if you don’t eat enough protein.

    If you don’t take the time to feel thankful, you’ll feel guilty around others. And if you’re barely active, well, sitting too much has been compared to smoking too many cigarettes.

    You need to stay active to stay well. That means practicing self-care:

    Your goal is to:

    • Think clearly
    • Have enough endurance
    • Get started on work soon enough
    • Feel better about yourself
    • Have enough energy

    Do you know what these benefits mean? They mean a better, more complete you! Someone who’s focused on what matters, from your best friends to your loving parents, to your relationships with your colleagues.

    An optimistic, pleasant you will better serve your interests and others. And that’s all thanks to the energy and improved mood… both of which come from practicing self-care.

    So here’s the first question you should be asking yourself… what do I need and why? And the rest will fall into place.

    13 Steps to Make Yourself a Priority

    1. Define your needs

    From keeping a roof over your head to making sure your family has food, nothing should stand in the way of you being healthy.

    Start by writing down the basic aspects of your life (health, finances, mood, etc). A journaling habit will help you stay attentive to the changes you need to make.

    Write a single, succinct sentence describing a specific need for each aspect of your life. List as many as there are and make sure to differentiate between what you need and what you merely want. When you’re done, you’ll have an overwhelming reason to believe your needs matter most.

    A helpful way to know exactly what you need to is to realize what’s important to you. Watch the video below to learn about the Four Burners Theory and the specific strategies you can use to implement this concept.

    2. Set boundaries around your time and space

    There are some lines you just don’t cross. Knowing where other people’s boundaries lie will help you learn to respect your own.

    Look at the people in your life. Learn what makes them uncomfortable regarding their time and space.

    Do they not want to be touched?

    Would they prefer someone ask before taking?

    Limit favors and loans?

    Pay back what’s borrowed?

    Of course, everyone hates it when someone interrupts them.

    Figure out what other people’s boundaries are as you take a hard look at your own. You’ll see the similarities exist for one main reason: Everyone’s human. And we all have a breaking point.

    Do now:

    • Remind your friends and family what your values are (more on values later)
    • Show and explain how having your boundaries violated changes you
    • Encourage people to consider how they’d want to be treated

    When your goal is prioritizing yourself, you’re better off making sure others know where not to go.

    Declare your boundaries. Then watch others’ respect for you grow.

    3. Learn to forgive yourself

    Forgiving yourself means accepting where you went wrong, why your actions were wrong, and how they affected another party.

    In the short term, you’ll feel a great burden being lifted from your shoulders.  You can’t make much progress when you’re always feeling guilty or ashamed.

    make yourself a priority en espanol | importance of making yourself a priority | make yourself a priority once in a while
    Alone time gives you space to create goals meant to keep you going forward.

    By forgiving yourself, you earn improved relationships and better attitudes. The benefits of self-forgiveness include less guilt and less burden, plus more choices and opportunities to do well.

    You need to feel free and without burdens to make yourself a priority. If you’re constantly beating yourself up, expect to put others first. It comes down to you believing you might deserve less when in reality, you deserve better.

    4. Practice putting your priorities first

    Your work never gets done. Your performance suffers. You end up with more tasks on your plate. And you’ll be left with unfinished tasks that you needed to get done, as well as finished tasks that should have been someone else’s responsibility.

    Friends, family, and colleagues won’t feel bad if you suffered some unfortunate outcome because you didn’t prioritize yourself.

    So, do your work first. Study your lessons now. Exercise before you pick up a friend from downtown. Then take a walk and have a cup of tea before you spend hours on the phone. The time you spend prioritizing yourself will give you time to focus on priorities concerning others.

    For now, focus on you first.

    5. Learn to say no

    The next step to make yourself a priority is learning to say ‘no’.  You also have to make sure you don’t feel guilty about it later.

    Offering a ‘yes’ to every request will put you behind on your goals. You want the freedom to be able to say ‘no’ so you can make yourself a priority.

    Wouldn’t you feel more in control if you could make a conscious decision?

    Learning to say ‘no’ will help you in finding respect for yourself. That’s because giving in to everyone else will make you feel weak. But accepting you made a choice that benefits you is key to moving forward. Especially when others don’t get what they want.

    If it’s you getting what you need first, then others may have to deal with a rebuttal. Start today by saying ‘no’ to something you know you can’t comply with. Then assess how you felt afterward before applying changes to how you react.

    Maybe next time you want to provide a flat ‘no’ without any supporting information. Or, maybe you noticed your ‘no’ was a bit curt, and you could come across more politely to someone in need.

    Assertiveness is almost always your best course of action. Saying no when called for is a good habit you’ll want to try and make stick.

    And if you need a little more help with this area, take a few minutes to watch the video below:

    6. Do more of what you love doing

    For happiness. For fun. For laughs or to learn something. The more interests and you have, the more you should participate in those endeavors—before having someone else’s idea of fun. True happiness is part of putting yourself first.

    How would you rather feel, happy or disappointed?

    If the former is true, then make time for activities you struggle to enjoy. You need to feel positive in both your heart and mind, but you’ll never be happy if you’re always putting others first.

    Make yourself a priority by remembering that you only get to live once. So, you might as well spend time doing what you love.

    7. Start sticking to your values

    Damaged relationships, unfortunate encounters, and acts out of your control will challenge your beliefs.

    The negative experiences in life will force you to question who you are.

    When you put your beliefs first, you don’t risk changing your personality to fit someone else’s way of living. To make yourself a priority, you need time and space to express your feelings.

    Ask yourself:

    • What makes me feel angry?
    • Who would I want to stand up for?
    • What issues cause me the most excitement?
    • What problem would you solve through a major sacrifice?

    The answers to these questions will help you understand your values. You cannot put your priorities first without knowing why your beliefs influence your actions.

    8. Indulge yourself when you can

    Eating, vacationing, or having a couple of glasses of wine are fun ways to feel happy.

    They’re also ways to reward yourself for good work.

    At the end of every week, focus on one or more accomplishments. What is one way you can reward yourself that will be extra special? Create a memorable moment for hard work done. Then remind yourself that hard work pays off.  

    Pro tip: Indulge in yourself when you can and you won’t feel the urge to indulge when you shouldn’t.

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    It might seem counterintuitive, but making yourself a priority means carving out time for others.

    9. Try new things

    Schedule time to try things you never tried before. Whether it’s a new course at a restaurant or an exercise that’ll push your muscles, you’ll long for the thrill of trying new experiences.

    Success is within your grasp, so, start by:

    • Volunteering
    • Meeting people online
    • Joining Facebook groups for events, or
    • Asking around

    You’re more than likely to find these opportunities when you open your mind. You can even create a morning routine where you plan one activity each day you want to try something new.

    10. Take care of your body

    Your body and your health should be one of your top priorities.

    There is something about being healthy that makes you feel organized, in control, and focused on self-improvement.

    Conversely, letting your body go to waste is a sign you’re not invested in your future.

    After all, the steps you take toward being healthy today will influence the kind of life you live later.

    All you should focus on is:

    • Tracking your workout progress to know when to try harder
    •  Getting exercise every day
    • Eating a variety of healthy fruits and vegetables
    • Getting at least 7 hours of sleep every night
    • Monitoring your mood after recent lifestyle changes

    Like you learned earlier, much of taking care of your body involves taking care of your basic needs.

    If your body breaks down, your work performance will suffer. You’ll feel less motivated and focused, and have less time on your hands to make positive changes to your life.

    Your life is precious. So, track your progress. At some point, head back to your journal or use your head. What changes can you make to make your body healthy? What unfortunate scenarios might result if you don’t make those changes?

    11. Learn to challenge yourself alone

    Once you’ve gotten into the habit of taking care of your body, you can embrace personal and professional challenges alone. That way, when you’re successful, you have reason to feel proud.

    But when you fail, you take responsibility for your mistakes, applying insight from your experiences to make changes going forward.  

    You learn more about yourself when you face challenges alone. Doing so places you first, as you know you’ll need energy and strength to fight the battles ahead.

    Rather than rely on others, you embrace your positive traits, gathering the courage to take risks for better rewards.

    Why not experience those rewards by yourself? You earned them right?

    12. Spend more time to yourself

    Solitude gives you time to breathe easily and escape stress. You can reflect on your progress and adjust your goals.

    Ask yourself if you’re taking time to yourself. If you are, you’ll know you’re recharging your batteries. Alone time gives you space to create goals meant to keep you going forward.

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    Imagine if you could spend a week in a cabin. You’d be able to set goals that are realistic and attainable. Those you could accomplish in a reasonable timeframe.

    SMART goals are results-oriented. They’re manageable. So, when you embrace time alone, you can be sure you have a plan for life. Ultimately, if you want to make time for you, then you need to recognize how spending time alone makes you feel better as a person.

    From there, you’ll see solitude as an opportunity to grow and improve. Going forward, it’ll be much easier to take that time you need to yourself.

    After all, who wants to feel exhausted and overwhelmed?

    13. Spend more time with others

    If you’re there for others, you have the right to be there for yourself.

    It might seem counterintuitive, but making yourself a priority means carving out time for others.

    When you invest energy into movie nights, late-night suppers, and family pizza nights… your days become brighter and more pleasant because social interaction stimulates chemicals in your brain that make you feel happy.

    Not only that, but you also get better brain health and reduced chances of getting Alzheimer’s. So, it’s worth finding time to socialize.

    Are you more introverted lately? Spending less time hanging out? Then, you can benefit from incorporating more contacts and appointments into your weekly schedule.

    Time spent socializing now gives you the right to claim time for yourself later.

    So, add an extra few hours to routine meetings.

    Compromise with friends and family. Think, “How can we make sure both of our needs are being met?”

    Express more interest in your interactions with others. Afterward, you’ll find it’s easy to embrace the solitude you need to prioritize yourself.

    Final Thoughts on Making Yourself a Priority

    The day you decide to put yourself first is the day you will start making real progress towards your goals in life. The values and beliefs that matter most will propel you to make the changes you need in order to prioritize yourself.

    Whether your self-improvement goals are changing by the day, or stern and steadfast… putting your needs, goals, and priorities ahead of others is a challenge you’ll have to accept if you want to live your best and most happy life.

    If being a better you is your goal, then read the article How to Build New Habits That Stick: The Ultimate Guide to help you on your journey.

    And if you’re looking for more resources to help you practice self-care consistently, be sure to check out these articles:

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    Sarah Kristenson

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  • 17 Songs About Loneliness & Feeling Alone

    17 Songs About Loneliness & Feeling Alone

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    There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.

    Looking for songs about loneliness?

    Even if it’s an unwelcome emotion, loneliness is universal. It pays all of us a visit at some point in our lives.

    The feeling of loneliness is not necessarily the effect of being physically alone. One can feel lonely in a crowd.

    The physical distancing, lockdowns, and sheltering in place required during the pandemic mean that many of us have been living in isolation. Because of this, the CDC has declared loneliness as a public health risk.

    Musicians are adept at describing the pain of loneliness. Hundreds of songs have been written about the experience of being lonely, and that’s just counting songs written in English!

    For today’s article, we’ve rounded up 17 songs that best depict the feeling of being lonely.

    The majority of the songs describe loneliness that’s caused by physical separation from a loved one. In addition, there are also songs that describe the pain of social isolation because of being different.

    Before we dive into this collection, here are some tips for keeping loneliness at bay. Please note that these are only suggestions and should not replace the advice of a medical expert.

    Quick Tips for Combating Loneliness

    Whether you’re going through a low point in your life right now or are just in need of new tunes to mix things up a bit in your playlist, we wish you cheerful days ahead.

    1. Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely, Backstreet Boys

    “Show me the meaning of being lonely. Is this the feeling I need to walk with? Tell me why I can’t be there where you are. There’s something missing in my heart.”

    How would you describe the feeling of loneliness? For some people, loneliness is akin to having a hole in their heart.

    This song is about heartbreak and the inevitable loneliness that comes from being separated from a loved one. In this song, loneliness is like having something missing from them.

    2. I’m so Lonesome I Could Cry, Hank Williams

    “Hear that lonesome whippoorwill. He sounds too blue to fly. The midnight train is whining low. I’m so lonesome I could cry.”

    Sometimes, being in a strange place can bring on a wave of homesickness and loneliness. This song describes the isolation one feels when far away from everything familiar and dear.

    3. Another Lonely Night, Adam Lambert

    “Another day, another lonely night. I would do anything to have you by my side. Another day, another lonely night. Don’t wanna throw away another lonely life.”

    Have you ever pined for a loved one who’s far away from you? This song describes that lonely, empty feeling when the one you love is not physically present.

    4. The Outside, Taylor Swift

    “How can I ever try to be better? Nobody ever lets me in. And I can still see you. This ain’t the best view. On the outside looking in. I’ve been a lot of lonely places. I’ve never been on the outside.”

    At 12 years old, Taylor Swift’s interests and hobbies were different from the other kids at her school, and she was made to feel like an outcast because of it.

    At that time, she had just gotten her first guitar. She wrote this song describing the feeling of isolation she experienced at school.

    5. Wake Up Alone, The Chainsmokers ft. Jhené Aiko

    “Will you still care in the morning when the magic’s gone? And will you be there in the morning? Do you stay when it all goes? Or will I wake up alone?”

    This song is about the uncertainty of showing one’s true self to another person. In it, the singer wonders whether showing their vulnerability to another causes the person to turn away, leaving them alone.

    6. Astronaut, Simple Plan

    “Can anybody hear me, or am I just talking to myself? My mind is running empty in the search for someone else who doesn’t look right through me. It’s all just static in my head. Can anybody tell me why I’m lonely like a satellite?”

    Many people who feel the pain of isolation equate it with being an astronaut adrift in outer space. There’s no one to reach out to.

    Just like everybody else, lonely people long for connection. They long to be seen, heard, and acknowledged.

    7. Away From the Sun, 3 Doors Down

    “Cause now again I’ve found myself so far down. Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place. I’m so far down, away from the sun that shines to light the way for me. To find my way back into the arms that care about the ones like me. I’m so far down, away from the sun again.”

    This song likens loneliness and isolation to being away from the sun, where everything is dark and nothing grows.

    Loneliness shows us what we lack — the presence of a loved one, the acceptance of peers, or the company of others with whom we can share our life experiences. In fact, in her poem The Loneliness One Dare Not Sound, Emily Dickinson described loneliness as a “horror” and something to be scared of.

    8. The Lonely, Christina Perri

    “Dancing slowly in an empty room. Can the lonely take the place of you? I sing myself a quiet lullaby. Let you go and let the lonely in, to take my heart again.”

    In this song, Christina Perri wonders whether loneliness is the appropriate replacement for somebody after a breakup. She ultimately  learns to let go so she can put her life back in order.

    9. I’m With You, Avril Lavigne

    “I’m looking for a place. I’m searching for a face. Is anybody here I know? ‘Cause nothing’s going right and everything’s a mess. And no one likes to be alone.”

    In this song, someone who is lonely is reaching out to others to end their feeling of isolation. They’re asking for help, hoping someone will recognize they are in need of companionship.

    10. Invisible, Hunter Hayes

    “Crowded places are the loneliest places for outcasts and rebels, or anyone who just dares to be different. And you’ve been trying for so long to find out where your place is. But in their narrow minds there’s no room for anyone who dares to do something different…”

    This song describes the fear and isolation felt by young people who are bullied for being different. Hunter Hayes offers a reassuring message that it won’t always be that way.

    He assures listeners that, one day, there will be people who will offer support for those who have felt the sting of social isolation.

    11. I Wanna Dance With Somebody, Whitney Houston

    “Oh, I wanna dance with somebody. I wanna feel the heat with somebody. Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me.”

    In this song, Whitney Houston expresses her loneliness due to being single. She longs to be with someone who can give her the love she wants.

    12. Blue Moon, Beck

    “I’m so tired of being alone. These penitent walls are all I’ve known. The songbird calling across the water, outside my silent asylum. Oh, don’t leave me on my own, left me standing all alone.”

    Sometimes, we just have to vent the frustration we feel that is caused by our loneliness. Beck does just that with his song Blue Moon.

    In the song, he states that he’s tired of being alone. Perhaps he has built emotional walls around himself to keep others out. But now he’s tired of the loneliness.

    Perhaps it’s time to break down those walls and let whatever’s outside in.

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    13. All by Myself, Celine Dion

    “Living alone, I think of all the friends I’ve known. But when I dial the telephone, nobody’s home. All by myself. Don’t wanna be all by myself anymore.”

    Here is another song that speaks out about loneliness. It’s about someone who has taken her previous romantic relationships and friendships for granted.

    Now she’s alone and wants to reach out to others, but no one’s available.

    Nevertheless, as the song progresses, Celine Dion realizes that love is the cure for loneliness.

    14. Lonely Day, System of a Down

    “Such a lonely day and it’s mine. The most loneliest day of my life. Such a lonely day should be banned. It’s a day that I can’t stand.”

    This song is a straightforward account of a person’s experience of loneliness.

    It describes the day as the “most loneliest day” of that person’s life. The narrator even declares that a day like that ought to be banned. Wouldn’t you agree?

    15. Scared to Be Lonely, Martin Garrix & Dua Lipa

    “Is it just our bodies? Are we both losing our minds? Is the only reason you’re holding me tonight ’cause we’re scared to be lonely? Do we need somebody just to feel like we’re alright? Is the only reason you’re holding me tonight ’cause we’re scared to be lonely?”

    This song raises the question of whether people are scared of being alone and that’s why they stay in unfulfilling relationships, putting up with toxic people.

    How about you? Are you scared to be alone?

    16. Only the Lonely, Roy Orbison

    “Only the lonely know the heartaches I’ve been through. Only the lonely know I cry and cry for you.”

    This song is about how only those who have experienced loneliness can understand why someone would shed tears when the person they love is gone.

    17. How to Fight Loneliness, Wilco

    “How to fight loneliness? Smile all the time. Shine your teeth ’til meaningless. Sharpen them with lies.”

    Here’s a song that offers ways to deal with loneliness. However, as the song progresses, listeners find that, instead of being uplifting, the solutions only seem to make one sadder.

    Final Thoughts Songs About Loneliness

    There you have it — 17 songs about loneliness. This may not be the most cheerful collection of songs we’ve rounded up for you, but we hope that this post can help raise awareness about how loneliness impacts our lives.

    If you feel that you’re at risk for the negative effects of loneliness, we encourage you to seek the help of a medical professional for diagnosis and treatment.

    Meanwhile, here are some useful resources for dealing with loneliness:

    In addition, check these posts out if you’re looking for song collections for specific topics:

    Finally, if you want to use these songs to make a lasting change to your life, then check out these 100 LIFE GOALS that can help you wake up each morning with a sense of enthusiasm about making progress toward what’s important..

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    Michal Feyoh

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  • 15 Best Movies About Starting Over with a Fresh Start

    15 Best Movies About Starting Over with a Fresh Start

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    There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.

    Looking for movies about starting over?

    Perhaps you have pressed the proverbial reset button and are now looking forward to fresh beginnings. On the other hand, you might be hesitant to embrace the changes coming your way, but know that they’re inevitable and want to be prepared.

    Whatever the case, you’re going to love today’s article featuring movies that involve making a fresh start.

    Many of the films in this compilation highlight the act of moving forward, where the main character rises like a phoenix from the ashes of an old life. In some of the movies, change comes in the form of an impulsive decision.

    Overall, these stories show how something born out of chaos can end in redemption.

    These movies show you how to let go of what doesn’t nourish your growth and where to find the courage to move on or begin again.

    Let’s get started.

    1. Chef (2014)

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    First, here’s a film that introduces us to Carl Casper, the head chef of a prestigious restaurant in Los Angeles. His passion for cooking has long been dampened by the extremely controlling owner of the restaurant he works for.

    After his scandalous reaction to a scathing review of his work by an influential food critic and blogger, Chef Casper finds himself jobless and a pariah in the restaurant world.

    He gets a chance at a fresh start when his ex-wife, Inez, invites him on a trip to Miami so he can spend time with their son, Percy.

    While in Miami, he acquires a rundown food truck. With Percy’s help, he remodels the food truck.

    Chef Casper, Percy, and Martin (Casper’s friend from the restaurant where he previously worked) take the food truck on a cross-country trip from Miami to Los Angeles, selling Cubanos and stopping at gustatorial havens such as New Orleans (for beignets) and Texas (for some brisket).

    The trip reignites Chef Casper’s creative fire, reminding him why he loves to cook. It is also an opportunity for him and Percy to develop a stronger father-son bond.

    2. Mirai (2018)

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    This animated movie was nominated for several awards, including the Academy Award’s Best Animated Feature in 2019. It showcases the fantastical adventures of a young boy struggling with his feelings of resentment and jealousy at the birth of his younger sister.

    The boy often goes to the family garden whenever he feels overwhelmed by the sight of his parents giving more attention to his younger sister.

    At different times in the garden, he travels through time, meeting interesting individuals. He’s able to apply lessons he learns during his time travel to his present-day life. Also, because of these experiences, he learns to empathize with his parents.

    Eventually, his travels to the past and future allow the boy to start over and finally accept his new role as a big brother.

    3. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2012)

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    This movie introduces us to seven British pensioners who, lured by false advertising, travel to India to stay at a retirement hotel called The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel located in Jaipur.

    Each of them has personal reasons for moving to Jaipur, and living at the retirement hotel provides all of them the opportunity for a fresh start.

    Also laid out before them is an opportunity for new adventure, including the flavors, sights, smells, and sounds of Jaipur. Some of them embrace it readily, while others are reluctant to even venture out of their hotel rooms.

    However, just by coming to The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, the lives of the seven hotel guests are altered in many different ways.

    4. Spirited Away (2003)

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    In this animated film, a fresh start brings a family of three to a new city. However, a wrong turn on the drive to their new home brings the father, mother, and daughter to a place that the father thinks is the remnants of an abandoned amusement park.

    The reality of the place is revealed when the sun goes down.

    The family’s experience in the place forces the daughter to fend for herself and protect the ones she loves. She learns to trust in the kindness of strangers and see what is hidden behind the façade of the ordinary.

    Eventually, the girl must learn the greatest lesson of all: Love brings freedom.

    5. The Family Man (2000)

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    In this movie, Jack, a highly successful Wall Street executive, is given a glimpse of how his life could be if he had made a different choice at a crucial point in the past.

    On his way home one Christmas Eve, Jack makes a stop at a convenience store. He walks in on a robbery and is able to talk down the gunman.

    The next day, Jack wakes up in an unfamiliar room, lying next to his former girlfriend Kate, who he left 13 years ago in favor of going on an overseas internship.

    In this alternate life, Jack is Kate’s husband and the father of their two young children. He has a job as a car tire salesman, and Kate is a non-profit lawyer. Their life is simple.

    Jack slowly begins to love this alternate life. However, it’s all temporary.

    Eventually, he has to make a choice between the life he’s always known and a life he has only seen glimpses of.

    6. This Is Where I Leave You (2014)

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    In this movie, the death of the family patriarch becomes an opportunity for a fresh start for the remaining family members.

    When their father dies, four grown siblings return to their family home to sit shiva with their mother. Considering the fact that they have grown apart over the years, the family has to endure the awkwardness of being in each other’s company for the next seven days.

    As the days pass, the siblings bring each other up to speed on what’s going on in their lives. Painful revelations surface, which eventually create different openings for everyone to reconnect and strengthen the bonds that bind them as a family.

    7. The Way Back (2020)

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    This sports drama is about being offered a chance at redemption.

    His tragic past keeps a former high school basketball star in the grips of alcoholism. He works in construction, but one day his former high school offers him a job as a basketball coach for their varsity team.

    His new job gives him a reason to reduce his drinking, and he succeeds in creating a winning team. However, the past comes back to haunt him, sending him in a downward spiral.

    It is up to him to lay the ghosts of the past to rest and take the first step toward a new life.

    8. Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)

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    In this movie, an impulsive decision leads to a major life overhaul and an opportunity for healing a broken heart.

    A newly divorced woman goes to Italy for a vacation. One day, on a tour of one of the towns, she stumbles upon a villa for sale, which she purchases on a whim.

    She stays in Italy to renovate the house. While there, she meets and befriends several interesting individuals and is instrumental in altering the course of life for at least two of her new friends.

    In her new life, she learns that there are many ways to be happy, even when she’s alone.

    9. Chocolat (2000)

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    This story begins when mother and daughter named Vianne and Anouk arrive in a small village in the French countryside. Their arrival brings changes that shake the foundations of the sleepy, traditional village.

    Vianne opens a chocolate shop at a time when people are preparing themselves for Lent. At first, the villagers eye her with suspicion. Eventually, she wins them over with her chocolate-based remedies that change their lives in many different ways.

    However, it’s not only the village that needs a fresh start. Vianne and Anouk constantly travel from town to town, offering their remedies to those in need. Their nomadic existence has taken a toll on Anouk, who wants a semblance of permanence in their lives.

    Vianne faces a difficult choice of whether to fulfill the duty passed on to them by their ancestors (to help other people), or give her daughter a secure life and finally settle down somewhere.

    10. Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (1974)

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    This romantic comedy introduces viewers to Alice, newly widowed and wishing for a better life for her son and herself. She has a dream, and she’s holding on to it, despite the challenges along the way.

    Alice decides that she and Tommy will move to California. She hopes to make it there as a singer—a dream she had before she got married.

    However, their dwindling funds force them to temporarily settle in Arizona. Because of some bad decisions, she and Tommy have to flee for their safety.

    They arrive at Tucson, where Alice finds work as a waitress. Her intention is to save enough money so she and Tommy can continue on to California.

    However, circumstances and the people she meets in Tucson threaten to change her plans. Alice has to make a choice that may lead to her lasting happiness.

    11. Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)

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    This movie is based on the book Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café by Fannie Flagg. In this movie, a woman in her 40s finds the courage to change her life through the stories told to her by an elderly woman she encounters in a nursing home.

    One day, Evelyn visits an Alabama nursing home with her husband. Evelyn’s husband has an aunt residing in the home. While he talks with his aunt, Evelyn wanders around and encounters another resident who introduces herself as Ninny.

    In subsequent meetings with Ninny, Evelyn learns about the Threadgoode family. Ninny’s stories often involved Idgie Threadgoode, the youngest of the family.

    The more time that Evelyn spends with Ninny, listening to her stories, the more she becomes proactive in taking control of areas of her life that she feels dissatisfied about.

    12. Wild (2014)

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    This biographical drama is based on the memoir Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed. It chronicles Strayed’s experiences and epiphanies while hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.

    Struggling with numerous personal problems and grief, Cheryl Strayed decides to embark on a solo hike along the Pacific Crest Trail, even though she lacks sufficient hiking experience.

    She covers 1,100 miles on her trip, which takes her 94 days.

    Her solo hike allows Strayed to rediscover herself, find closure for the grief she’s been carrying about her mother’s death, and forgive herself for the bad decisions she’s made.

    13. The Grapes of Wrath (1940)

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    This movie offers another view on starting over. It shows us that there are times when a fresh start doesn’t happen by choice.

    In this case, starting over involves a lot of fear, uncertainty, and even pitfalls that may undermine a happy outcome.

    This movie chronicles the struggles of an Oklahoman family forcibly uprooted from their land and making their way to California to start a new life.

    New machines replace the work done by human sharecroppers in Oklahoma, and the Joad family, along with their neighbors, are evicted from their lands. They make the long trek to California, leaving the only life they’ve ever known for an unknown future.

    14. Room (2015)

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    In this movie, a mother and her son experience a new kind of life after being freed from seven years of captivity.

    The 5-year-old boy’s world has been a 10×10-foot room, where he has lived with his mother all of his life. His mother was abducted seven years prior, and the boy was born in the room.

    Eventually, his mother sees a chance for them to escape and takes him with her to the outside world, where the truth about their life in the room is exposed.

    The movie is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.

    15. Begin Again (2014)

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    In this movie, the meeting of two individuals gives both a chance to fulfill their dreams. It is a meeting that changes both their lives and gives them the courage to start over.

    Dan is fired from his job as a record executive. Meanwhile, Gretta is a singer/songwriter who has just broken up with her boyfriend. Dan convinces Gretta that they will produce and launch her album.

    As the pair collaborate on Gretta’s album, both come to individual realizations about issues in their respective lives.

    Dan fixes his issues by reconciling with his wife. Meanwhile, Gretta’s resolution is to walk away from a reconciliation with her ex-boyfriend.

    Final Thoughts on Movies About Starting Over

    There you have it—a collection of movies that provide hope of a fresh start.

    Change is inevitable, and the best way to adapt is to expect that there will be moments in life when we need to let go of the familiar and embrace what the future has to offer.

    Hopefully, this collection inspires you to see change as a good thing and feel excited about starting over.

    If you are looking for more compilations of movies about specific topics, you might want to check out the following posts:

    movies about starting over | top movies about starting over of all time | best movies about starting over

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    Michal Feyoh

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  • Discover Your Worth: 13 Ways To Feel Loved And Appreciated

    Discover Your Worth: 13 Ways To Feel Loved And Appreciated

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    Have you ever told yourself, “I want to feel loved by someone”? The statement is much more common than you think since the desire to feel loved is a fundamental human need. Wanting to feel loved by your husband, partner, friends, or family is a natural desire and an essential part of your emotional well-being. It plays an important role in your feelings of self-esteem and self-confidence. Unless you are in an incompatible relationship, one of the reasons you feel you are not receiving love in your relationship stems from your inability to love yourself.

    In this article, we speak to Jui Pimple (MA in Psychology), a trained Rational Emotive Behavior Therapist and a Bach Remedy practitioner who specializes in online counseling. According to Jui, this inability to love ourselves stems from a lack of self-acceptance. Self-acceptance requires learning to accept ourselves the way we are, including our thoughts, feelings, and physical self. Let’s go about this journey together.

    Why Do I Struggle To Feel Loved?

    We all need to be loved, whether or not we admit it. Wanting to feel loved by your husband or partner and not getting that love can be painful, and life can be lonely and empty without it. A recent statistical study shows that 43% of people between the ages of 18 to 25 report that they feel unloved; 80 % of people below the age of 18 responded that they feel lonely.

    Feeling unwanted or unloved is an emotion that can also be caused and influenced by several other factors. Recognizing the validity of these feelings and how they can affect you is important. The causes of these feelings can be varied and unique to you as an individual but with several common underlying factors. The answer to the concern – how to feel loved in a relationship – can be more easily understood if one were to gain an understanding of those factors.

    1. Past experiences contribute to self-esteem issues

    Our past experiences can powerfully impact our ability to feel loved. Romantic relationships that have gone sour, romantic partners that have cheated, childhood neglect, and other emotional trauma can cause wounds to our psyche. These wounds act as barriers to our ability to feel loved.

    Related Reading: 10 Things To Do If You Are Feeling Unappreciated In Your Relationship

    2. In turn, low self-esteem doesn’t make you feel appreciated

    A negative self-image can make you feel that you are undeserving of love. “How can your partner love you if you do not love yourself?” – People say this sometimes. It’s unfair because having low self-esteem is not a ‘fault’ and it’s no reason for someone to not love you.

    Low self-esteem is merely one of the reasons that one FEELS unloved. Even when showered with love and affection, it can make you feel unworthy of it all. 

    3. You may have an inability to be vulnerable 

    Being vulnerable with your partner or loved ones is essential to giving and receiving love. But the fear of getting hurt can prevent you from becoming vulnerable and sharing openly with those closest to you. You may even find difficulty in expressing appreciation toward others, which in turn prevents you from engaging completely with your partner. All of this makes you feel isolated from them, and thus impacts the way you perceive yourself.

    4. Having unrealistic expectations can make you feel like you don’t belong with others

    Unrealistic expectations of what love should be like and how a person in love should behave or feel, often colored by today’s media, can lead you to be dissatisfied in a real-world relationship. This dissatisfaction may be a cause of your inability to feel loved.

    Infographic on how to feel loved and appreciated
    Follow these to love yourself a little more every day

    5. Poor communication skills

    Poor communication skills can cause misunderstanding, exacerbating conflicts and affecting a relationship severely. It is essential to a healthy relationship to be able to express your feelings and needs to your partner, or to any person at all. It can otherwise be difficult for them to provide you with the support you need and deserve, thus making you feel they don’t care about you.

    Related Reading: 11 Relationship Challenges Almost Everyone Has To Face – With Solutions

    6. Depression and anxiety make one feel “I’m not lovable”

    Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can negatively affect your ability to feel loved. These can lead to negative feelings of unworthiness and cause you to worry about the state of your relationship(s) constantly. It’s important to remember that “it’s not you, it’s your mental health” that’s making you feel this way.

    7. Poor choice of role models can affect the way you perceive yourself

    Role models, especially in our formative years, are important in shaping our self-esteem and understanding of a healthy, loving relationship. A study of 36 female college students found that participants who had a healthy role model had higher self-esteem scores than those who didn’t. A lack of positive role models can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, with their negativity coloring your outlook and self-image. Surrounding yourself with positive role models can help turn you into a person with a kind outlook toward others and yourself. 

    If you feel unloved and keep telling yourself, “I want to be loved by someone,” it is probably caused by one or more of these factors. Getting to the root of this belief requires self-reflection, introspection, and maybe even therapy. While the process of introspection can seem like a painful, uphill struggle, you need to start healing your broken heart. The road to feeling loved is a journey that requires patience and perseverance. With time, the positive changes that occur will be their own reward.

    How To Feel Loved — 13 Simple Ways 

    Today, with the frenetic pace of life and skyrocketing divorce rates and breakups, more and more people live in isolation without the intimacy that comes from romantic relationships. The isolation may occur even in the company of others, be it family, coworkers, or friends. In this section, we tackle the question of how to feel loved again in a world where connections seem fragile.

    1. Learn to love yourself

    Self-love is the way forward if you want to learn how to feel loved again. “It all begins with self-acceptance,” according to Jui, “and for this, you must get to know yourself.” She adds:

    • A balanced view of your assets and liabilities will help in this regard
    • Treat yourself with kindness and compassion
    • Don’t be too hard on yourself for any perceived mistakes
    • You will begin to feel good and, eventually, start feeling loved with your partner(s)

    2. Learn to set boundaries if you are feeling unloved 

    Boundaries are essential for taking care of ourselves. Too often, feelings of low self-esteem will allow us to accept behavior from family members or our partners in romantic relationships that hurts us. Learn to set healthy boundaries and communicate your feelings when required. This tells others that your needs and feelings are to be respected and you can’t be taken advantage of.

    Clear boundaries in your relationships will help you feel appreciated and with the right people, the love will only grow. Jui says, “This can be done by learning to become more assertive. Assertiveness can be learned through therapy or reading self-help books.” Alternatively, you could try the following to eventually reach the goal of setting much-needed limits for others without feeling bad or worrying too much about their feelings:

    • Begin by communicating just one need to your closest friend, something you’ve never said to them before
    • Prioritize your self-care every day, it’ll help you be assertive in the long term
    • Learn to say “no” in the mirror. Sit with the discomfort that comes with wanting to say or having said ‘no’
    • Introspect: Why do you need to do that task/favor? Can someone else do it? Would you be able to do it justice if you don’t have the capacity or will? What happens if you don’t do the task?

    Related Reading: Emotional Baggage – Causes, Signs, And Ways To Cope

    3. Be grateful

    Gratitude is a powerful tool in changing your perspective to the positive side. A study has shown that practicing gratitude lessens stress, anxiety, and depression. Practicing gratitude regularly helps you look at the positive side of life rather than the negative. 

    Gradually, your focus will shift from a poor self-image, and you will begin to feel good about yourself and more appreciated in your interactions with others too. Making a gratitude list daily or keeping a gratitude diary will take just a few minutes, but the results are worth it.

    Stories about dealing with insecurityStories about dealing with insecurity

    4. Be around positive people to feel good about yourself

    “We are known by the company we keep” is a truism that one forgets. Being around pessimists and cynics automatically colors one’s perspective. According to social psychologist Professor Fredrickson of the University of North Carolina, people with a positive attitude overcome difficulties more quickly and are more resilient. 

    By surrounding yourself with positive people, you will see their attitude rub off on you, which will, in turn, change your perception of yourself. This will help you increase your self-esteem, and stop feeling not good enough for someone or something.

    5. Build up your self-esteem and self-confidence

    This is the key to feeling loved and appreciated by your partner and other loved ones. Jui says:

    • Self-awareness is the key to improving your self-esteem and self-confidence. It entails being aware of your strengths and weaknesses
    • You can then focus on improving your skills and talents and learn to appreciate your achievements, no matter how small they seem
    • Daily positive self-talk in front of the mirror can be an effective confidence booster to help you achieve a positive attitude
    • Try to take compliments with pride and not underestimate yourself

    Related Reading: Will I Ever Find Love? 10 Reasons To Be Optimistic

    6. How to feel loved by yourself — Stop seeking external validation

    Learn to seek validation from within and not depend on your partner’s approval to feel good about yourself. Begin to trust your own judgments and opinions. A study shows that an individual’s negative self-perception and their weak beliefs in their own qualifications may be a strong factor in the occurrence of depression. 

    It’s easy to see why people depend on external validation when the internal source of approval is missing. And yes, we do need others to lead healthy lives and to regulate ourselves — Nothing wrong with seeking emotional validation in your circle of trusted folks. But if that becomes the only way you feel loved, then it’s a problem.

    7. Be an open book

    Be open and honest in your interactions, especially with your family, friends, and partners. This is an essential step to start feeling loved by others and yourself. Do not be afraid to express yourself. Effective communication is the key to forming a deeper bond with your loved ones because you’re letting them see you for who you are and love you for who you are.

    If you’re unable to speak to them in person initially due to anxiety or low self-worth or because you prefer other modes of communication, you can try these:

    • Writing them a letter instead of talking it out 
    • Practicing in front of the mirror until you get confident about expressing your feelings 
    • Texting them how you feel

    8. Learn what taking care of yourself means

    Taking care of yourself is an act of self-love, not a selfish act. Allocate time for doing things that make you feel good and at peace. Don’t allocate the majority of your day to your partner or waiting for them. You come first.

    Taking care of the little things, like having a daily routine, can also go a long way in boosting your ego. Self-care is your way of telling yourself and your partner that you value yourself.

    9. How to feel loved in a relationship — Learn to be empathetic

    An ability to understand the feelings of others is known as empathy. By developing this ability, you can forge deeper and stronger connections with your partner, thus improving your relationship. Jui says, “Being more empathetic requires practice. My experience in practicing empathy was to put myself in the shoes of others, thinking of how I would think, feel, and react in their situation.”

    Practicing empathy will make your friends, family members, and loved ones love you more. Kindness and compassion toward others, even strangers, will go a long way in making you a more emotionally intelligent person. And a less reactive one, too.

    10. Track your personal growth

    Focusing on your personal growth can lead to an increased sense of self-worth. 

    • Keep a journal where you set self-esteem goals for yourself
    • This can provide you with a record of your progress and incentivise further change. This will help you feel more appreciated by yourself
    • Do not be afraid of making mistakes, as they allow you to learn and grow the most

    Related Reading: 9 Expert Tips To Grow In A Relationship Every Day

    11. Remind yourself that it is okay to be vulnerable

    Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Research has shown that labeling an emotion or talking about it can help downregulate or decrease the effect of that emotion. Here’s how it helps:

    • Being vulnerable means trusting your partner, even if your past experiences tell you otherwise
    • Being intimate with your loved ones can help strengthen your relationships, allowing others to see you for who you are
    • Ridding yourself of masks can lead to greater feelings of love and appreciation from and toward your partner
    how to feel loved again how to feel loved again
    Remember being vulnerable in front of the people you love doesn’t make you weak

    12. Physical touch is important if you want to know how to be loved by yourself

    Physical touch is an important part of self-care and a vital part of any relationship. But before you move on to getting intimate with a partner, it is recommended that you explore and comfort yourself through self-touch. Get to know your body through:

    • Masturbation 
    • Self-massage 
    • Hugging yourself 
    • Stretching and yoga 

    Also, ensure that you spend time regularly with your partner, quality time that helps cement the bonds of your relationship. Put away your phones and enjoy each other’s company by being in the moment and paying attention to each other. Scheduling date nights will help you spend time with each other and make you feel loved by your partner in new ways with every date. This way, the next step toward intimacy and getting comfortable with your likes and dislikes around physical touch will become a lot clearer. 

    Related Reading: Love Again? 10 Real Fears About Love After Divorce

    13. Seek professional help

    If you are struggling with self-esteem issues and are struggling to feel loved, then you can seek help from a professional too. This is especially recommended if you are depressed or have an underlying mental health condition. A therapist or counselor could show you that your feelings are valid and how to feel loved in a relationship, and provide you with the help and support you need to face these challenges. To make this journey easier, skilled and licensed counselors on Bonobology’s panel are always here for you.

    By following these 13 simple steps, you will learn how to feel loved and appreciated and become more confident and self-assured.

    Key Pointers

    • Learning self-love by learning to accept yourself is the key to feeling loved by your partner
    • Cultivating positivity by practicing gratitude and surrounding yourself with positive role models is also essential to feeling good about yourself
    • Honest and open communication skills, as well as knowing and stating your boundaries, these are all vital for the maintenance of a healthy relationship where you feel appreciated
    • Trust that the road to personal growth is a long one, but the end is worth your while

    Discovering your worth, feeling loved by yourself and others, and feeling appreciated even during conflicts in a romantic relationship, are all parts of a journey that begins within yourself. You can build a strong sense of self-worth that will positively impact all areas of your life. Remember that you deserve to feel cherished, and by following these 13 ways, you can uncover your true value and lead a more fulfilling life.

    FAQs

    1. Who deserves love?

    Everybody deserves to be loved and to feel loved, regardless of the flaws and mistakes they’ve made. However, to feel loved, you need to be able to accept yourself, and that is where your self-esteem is important. Self-esteem greatly influences how you regard yourself and how the world regards you. If you don’t feel worthy of love and constantly run yourself down, others will not respect you. Learning to appreciate yourself for who you are will go a long way to raising your self-esteem and help you realize that you are worthy of love.

    2. Why don’t I feel like I deserve love?

    Being hurt in the past by others can cause us to build protective walls around ourselves. The intent is to protect ourselves from further harm. Over time, these protective walls can keep others at bay and prevent us from receiving love, too. Coupled with feelings of unworthiness, we start to believe that we are not worthy of love and attention. This can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where the more we try to protect ourselves, the more we end up hurting ourselves.

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  • Best Serum For Aging Skin

    Best Serum For Aging Skin

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    Dating and romance in the older years come with some complexities. The societal emphasis on youthfulness can create self-consciousness about the tell-tale signs of aging. Some older people may experience levels of insecurities about dating because of the perception of unattractiveness or lower desirability. The self-conversations also matter.

    Fine lines and wrinkles tell a powerful story of the journey of life. But if all you see is aging skin that has lost its youthful vibrancy and elasticity, then it can severely impact one’s self-perception and esteem. The lack of self-confidence can hinder social interaction, thus making it hard to meet potential partners.

    Well, there’s an excellent skincare solution — Treat yourself with the best serum for aging skin and feel more confident than ever. Such remedies bring back the youthfulness and glow in one’s appearance. But you might wonder, what IS the best serum for aging skin? We will show you how to choose.

    Best Serum For Aging Skin — 8 Things To Consider

    Best face serum for aging skin

    Well, choosing the best serum for aging skin depends on a number of factors. The most important would be the specific skin concerns you want to address. Others are budget, sensitivities, or allergies. Consider the investment in good quality serum a token of self care and well being gift.

    Top considerations for the best aging skin serum should incorporate the following ingredients.

    1. Retinoids

    The vitamin A derivatives enhance collagen production and promote skin renewal. This reduces skin wrinkles, and gives better skin texture and even skin tone.

    2. Hyaluronic acid

    The acid helps in skin hydration due to its capacity to hold significant amounts of water. The skin looks plumper, resulting in a reduction in wrinkles and the appearance of fine lines.

    3. Vitamin C

    The powerful antioxidant powers of vitamin C brighten the skin, promote collagen synthesis, and provide protection against environmental damage. This ingredient makes these serums useful gifts that keep giving, whether for him or her.

    4. Peptides

    The protein composition of peptides stimulates collagen production and improves skin elasticity and firmness.

    5. Antioxidants

    The best anti-aging skin serum should contain antioxidants. You will find certain ingredients like grape seed extract, green tea extract, and resveratrol. These provide protection against radical damage, which accelerates the aging process.

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    6. Vitamin B3 or Niacinamide

    Vitamin B3 improves the appearance of enlarged pores, fine lines, and uneven skin tone. It also provides an effective way to strengthen the skin’s barrier.

    7. Glycolic acid

    Alpha hydroxy acid (AHA) promotes skin turnover, exfoliates, and gives a smooth complexion. This results in improved fine lines, acne scars, and uneven skin tone.

    8. Sunscreen

    The best face serum for aging skin should contain a broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher. That reduces the impact of UV radiation on the skin.

    Please note that it’s important to introduce the anti-aging skin serum slowly. This is especially important for those with sensitive skin as it will help avoid irritation. It’s also a good idea to consult skin care professionals or dermatologists before using any product. Based on the results, they can assess specific skin needs and recommend the best products to you.

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    Why Is It Important? What Are The Benefits, When To Apply

    What is the best serum for aging skin? Let’s look at our top 3 recommendations for the best skin aging serums.

    Best serum for aging skin —  Comparison of products

    1. Skinceuticals C E Ferulic 30

    Skinceuticals C E Ferulic 30

    What is the best serum for aging skin? Well, SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic is highly recommended by experts. Rich in vitamin C, its antioxidant properties brighten the skin, promote collagen synthesis, and provide protection against environmental damage. The ingredient list includes:

    • 15% l’ascorbic acid or vitamin C
    •  1% vitamin E
    •  0.5% ferulic acid

    User reviews: SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic is a popular, highly recommended brand by dermatologists. User reviews are very positive, with some saying their skin feels firmer and better toned. There’s also a noticeable reduction in skin blemishes.

    Skin type: SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic is pretty forgiving as, overall, different skin types tolerate it well. But there’s always a chance of irritation, so introduce the product slowly. This is especially critical when looking for the best face serum for aging skin.

    Application: The morning application gives you more use out of the bottle. Don’t expect immediate results, though. But you may see changes within four to six weeks. At 12 weeks, the results will be more noticeable. Apply four to five drops on the face and neck after toning or cleansing. Check out the best Korean facial cleansers for combination skin.

    Pros

    • Clinically proven treatment for dark spots, wrinkles, and fine lines
    • Antioxidant protection
    • Better skin tone and texture

    Cons

    • Price: With the best face serum for aging skin, cost is a major concern. At over $160 per 30 ml bottle, the price tag is quite hefty
    • Smell: SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic has a smokey, strong medicinal smell that can linger for a few minutes. Don’t worry, though, it will dissipate after a short time 
    • Storage: Ensure you keep it in a dark place to avoid oxidation
    • Sunscreen: You will need a broad-spectrum sunscreen of SPF 30+ as vitamin C can increase skin sun sensitivity

    SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic is an effective vitamin C serum with the backing of clinical research. The antioxidant serum improves the appearance of aging skin. Please stick to the dosage and application recommendation to avoid sensitivities.

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    2. Paula’s Choice 1% Retinol Treatment

    Paula's Choice 1% Retinol Treatment

    Paula’s Choice 1% Retinol is excellent for all skin types. These include oily, normal, dry combinations, or acne-prone. The vitamin A derivative retinol is effective for sun damage and reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.

    User reviews: As per the brand, 96% of users reported improved skin appearance and texture. 88% reported a reduction in wrinkles and fine Lines. 80% agree that the skin feels firmer.

    Application: Slow-start with a gradual increase of up to three times a week. Use it after cleansing, exfoliating, and toning. Finish with a sunscreen application of SPF 30 and above.

    Pros

    • Clinically proven benefits for hyperpigmentation, fine lines, and wrinkles
    • Better skin texture and tone
    • Affordable

    Cons

    • Skin sensitivity: This may not be the product for you if you suffer from skin sensitivity. Some users have reported a burning or lingering warm sensation and some peeling. The formulation is quite potent, which could explain the low usage frequency
    • Drying skin: You’ll need to keep up with moisturizing to keep the skin hydrated

    Paula’s Choice 1% Retinol Treatment improves the appearance of aging skin. However, the potency can be irritating for those who suffer from skin sensitivities. Also, be patient, as it can take months to see results.

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    3. The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5

    The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5

    The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 is an affordable and effective serum for aging skin. The humectant hyaluronic acid hydrates skin, replenishes cell moisture, and reduces wrinkles. Vitamin B5 has antioxidant properties that protect the skin while soothing it.

    Application: Use a few drops of The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid before applying your preferred cream or moisturizer. A good tip is to apply it on damp skin to get better results. Also, ensure you do a patch test before applying it all over the skin.

    User reviews: Quite positive, with some reporting softer and plumper skin. It provides relevant hydration during the dry seasons. The texture ensures quick absorption without leaving any pasty residues behind.

    Pros

    • Affordable
    • Hydrating properties makes it one of the best face serum for aging skin
    • Fast absorbing
    • Vegan and cruelty-free without gluten, nuts, silicone, alcohol, or oil
    • Leaves the skin feeling smooth and soft

    Cons

    • The scent is lingering and maybe a bit off-putting to some people
    • Repeated application is necessary as it does not deliver full-day hydration

    The greatest strength of The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 is its hydrating properties. This is due to the hyaluronic acid, as well as vitamin B5 that protects while soothing the skin.

    Skin aging is an inevitable, unavoidable part of growing old. But you can fight off some of the signs with the best serum for aging skin. And what is the best serum for aging skin of all kinds? As you now know, there’s no one answer here; your specific skin concerns will determine the best type for you. Also, read customer reviews to know what to expect.

    FAQs

    1. What is the best serum for aging skin?

    There is no clear-cut answer for the best aging skin serum. The specific skin needs will determine the best option. For instance, The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 is excellent for dry skin. Paula’s Choice 1% Retinol protects against sun damage, making it ideal for anyone who spends a lot of time outdoors.

    2. What key ingredients should be in the best face serum for aging skin?

    Some of the best ingredients include retinoids, hyaluronic acid, peptides, antioxidants, vitamin C, glycolic acid, and niacinamide. These work to promote collagen production, reduce wrinkles, improve skin texture, and protect against extensive damage. The combination of these will significantly reduce signs of skin aging.

    3. Is it possible to combine anti-aging skin serums with other skin care products?

    Yes, it’s perfectly fine to use the serums with other skin care products. Typically, apply the serum after cleansing and toning, but before moisturizing and sunscreen application. Also, please take note of the manufacturer’s recommendations on application and dosage. It’s also important to consult skin care professionals for skin assessment and advice on the best serum ingredients depending on the results.

    4. How soon will results show when using serums for aging skin?

    Results vary from person to person. The serum formulation, skin type, and specific aging concerns also impact how fast to expect to see results. Some people may see significant changes within a few weeks of use. For others, it may take months. Remain consistent with applications and follow the recommendations to see fast results over time.

    5. Do skin sensitivities matter when using skin aging serum?

    Yes, skin sensitivity matters for some products. Those suffering from hypersensitivity should go for products labeled fragrance-free, gentle, or suitable for sensitive skin. Also, a patch test is important before product application on the entire skin.

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  • Best Dark Spot Remover For Face

    Best Dark Spot Remover For Face

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    In the dating world, attractiveness really matters. There’s, after all, the impact of the first impression that immediately captures attention and translates into initial interest. Love experts refer to this as the halo effect. This describes attributing positive qualities to those we find attractive. As much as your partner finds you attractive, you subconsciously want their friends and other family members to think the same. The role of perceived attractiveness is important in confidence and self-perception.

    In physical attractiveness, the face is a focal point. Smooth, flawless skin, impeccable makeup, and nicely shaped brows make you feel good. And your potential or existing partner will take due notice. But what if you start to notice dark spots all over? Your confidence levels can drop significantly, thus impacting your love life. But there’s an excellent solution in the form of skincare. Let’s talk about the best dark spot remover for face.

    What Is The Best Dark Spot Remover For Face? 4 Things To Consider Before You Make The Purchase

    When you look in the mirror and feel good, there’s a powerful ego boost. Love experts will tell you there is something special about confidence and a positive self-image. These qualities significantly enhance one’s dating prospects.

    It would be easy to think that buying the fastest dark spot remover is the best way to get ahead in the dating scene. But your skin type and dark spot severity should be the guiding factor. However, at the very least, the best cream for dark spots on the face should have the following ingredients and considerations:

    1. Skin type and sensitivity

    Choose dark spot removers based on your skin type. There are special formulations for sensitive, dry, and oily skin. This is critical in preventing excessive dryness and irritation. It’s important to always carry out a patch test before applying even the best cream for dark spots on the face. Looking for matching couple gifts? Combination skin dark spot removers would be great.

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    2. Ingredient list

    The following ingredients have been found to be quite effective in some of the best dark spot removers in the market.

    • Hydroquinone: This tops the list as the fastest dark spot remover. Its action lies in its ability to block melanin production. But please note that, though effective, it can be very irritating to sensitive skin. Also, look for products with a concentration of 2% or less to avoid adverse effects
    • Kojic acid: The mushroom derivative is a natural ingredient that is extremely effective at fading dark spots. It inhibits tyrosinase production, an enzyme that contributes to melanin production. Please note there may be sensitivity for some people
    • Retinol: The vitamin A derivative has anti-aging properties. Yet, it’s also effective at dark spot fading through skin exfoliation and increasing cell turnover
    • Vitamin C: This antioxidant protects the skin against free radical damage. It’s also effective at protecting the skin and reducing the appearance of hyperpigmentation

    Kojic acid and vitamin C are generally gentler ingredients. That makes them the best option when looking for the best dark spot remover for faces that have sensitive skin. The inclusion of natural remedies like aloe vera, lemon juice, and honey can also help lighten skin and dark spots. In more severe dark spot cases, go for prescription-strength ingredients like hydroquinone. Avoid any dark spot remover that contains steroids or mercury, as these are harmful ingredients that can worsen the skin’s appearance over time.

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    3. Sun protection

    Don’t forget about this one. Sun exposure tends to worsen dark spots. So the best cream for dark spots on face should have broad-spectrum SPF to prevent further damage.

    4. Treatment type

    There’s a range of treatment types available for your consideration. These include:

    • Topical treatments: Like serums, lotions, and creams. These are convenient as they are easily incorporated into the daily skincare routine
    • Chemical peels: Dermatologists often prescribe chemical peels. They work by exfoliating and eventually lightening the dark spot areas. Please stick to the recommended dosage and application for the best results
    • Please stick to the recommended dosage and application for the best results.
    • Laser therapy: It targets specific pigment areas and is effective. A dermatologist will determine if this is the most suitable treatment type

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    Best Dark Spot Remover For Face — Product Comparison, Benefits, And When To Apply

    What is the best dark spot remover for your face? Check out the top three recommendations to help you pick.

    LuminaSkin

    SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic
    SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic
    • Dark spot removal, improved fine lines, wrinkles and brightens skin
    • Liquid formulation
    • 0.5% FERULIC ACID, 15% L-ASCORBIC ACID, Vitamin E, 1% ALPHA TOCOPHEROL, Vitamin C

    Versed

    Versed out of Sight Dark Spot Gel
    Versed out of Sight Dark Spot Gel
    • Dark spot brightening, strengthening the skin barrier
    • Gel formulation
    • Tranexamic Acid,  Licorice Root, Kojic Acid,and Niacinamide

    Neutrogena

    Neutrogena Rapid Tone Repair Retinol + Vitamin C Dark Spot Corrector
    Neutrogena Rapid Tone Repair Retinol + Vitamin C Dark Spot Corrector
    • Dark spot corrector and anti-wrinkle
    • Serum formulation
    • Retinol, hyaluronic acid and vitamin C

    1. SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic

    SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic

    SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic is a vitamin C serum that’s effective for dark spot removal. It also brightens the skin tone and protects against free radical damage. The ingredient list consists of 15% vitamin C, 1% vitamin E, and 0.5% ferulic acid. Users love how lightweight the serum is and is quickly absorbed by the skin. The skin feels refreshed and the effects are long-lasting.

    Application: Start by cleansing and toning the face. Next, apply four to five drops of the serum on the damp skin. Gently massage it in until fully absorbed. Now, apply your preferred moisturizer and sunscreen. Do this every morning, but discontinue use if you notice skin irritation.

    Pros

    • Effective dark spot removal and brightens the skin tone
    • Protects against free radical damage
    • Anti-aging properties
    • Stable formulation that is less likely to oxidize
    • Generally well-tolerated by different skin types

    Cons

    • Expensive
    • Can have a drying effect on the skin
    • Has a strong scent that some people may find unpleasant

    The vitamin C serum has significant benefits for the skin. Many skin types are also able to tolerate it well.

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    2. Versed Out Of Sight Dark Spot Gel

    Versed Out Of Sight Dark Spot Gel

    This vegan dark spot remover can treat dark spots and even out skin tone. It contains active ingredients like tranexamic acid, niacinamide, kojic acid, and licorice root. The skin’s natural barrier is further strengthened by the antioxidants. User feedback is quite positive, according to the brand. 85% agree that the corrector minimizes dark spot appearances. 79% report a brighter appearance, while 82% say the spots are smaller and lighter. Consider this vegan product unique gifts for her when searching for ideas for a special occasion.

    Application: Apply a thin layer of the treatment using the precision applicator twice a day on the trouble spots. Ensure the skin is clean and dry. For best results, maintain this practice for 6 to 8 weeks.

    Pros

    • Effective at dark spot fading
    • Fast-absorbing and lightweight
    • Non-comedogenic, meaning it won’t clog the pores
    • Vegan and cruelty-free
    • Affordable

    Cons

    • Can have a drying effect on the skin
    • The gel has a slightly tacky texture
    • There may be cases of irritation

    Versed Out Of Sight Dark Spot gel makes it to the list of the fastest dark spot removers. It is affordable, effective, and suitable for all skin types. But please take time to do a patch test before application to avoid irritation.

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    3. Neutrogena Rapid Tone Repair Retinol + Vitamin C Dark Spot Corrector

    Neutrogena Rapid Tone Repair Retinol + Vitamin C Dark Spot Corrector

    The dermatologist-approved retinol makes Neutrogena Rapid Tone Repair the best cream for dark spots on the face. Add vitamin C to it, and the result is a potent spot corrector that evens skin tone and removes dark spots. The result is a brighter skin tone, better texture, and a noticeable reduction in fine lines.

    Application: Daily application as part of the regular skincare routine. Start by cleansing the skin to remove any makeup or oil. Check out these list of Korean facial cleansers for combination skin. Using the applicator, put a few drops of the spot corrector on the skin. After that, apply your preferred moisturizer and sunscreen. For retinol beginners, the manufacturers recommend starting off slow and then gradually moving to daily usage if your skin can tolerate it.

    Pros

    • Trusted brand
    • Affordable
    • Effective at brightening skin tone and lightening dark spots
    • Non-comedogenic, meaning it will not clog the pores
    • Fragrance-free
    • Dermatologist-tested and approved

    Cons

    • May cause irritation for those with skin sensitivities
    • Results may take time to show
    • Retinol and vitamin C can increase sun sensitivity. So you’ll need to stock up on plenty of sunscreen with an SPF of 30 and above

    Neutrogena Rapid Tone Repair Retinol + Vitamin C Dark Spot Corrector is one of the fastest dark spot removers. But take time to slowly introduce it into your skincare routine.

    FAQs

    1. What is the best dark spot remover for face?

    Different considerations go into answering this question. What works for one person may not for another. So, take time to understand your skin type. Also, learn about the different ingredients and how they may impact your skin.

    2. What active ingredients should I look out for in the best cream for dark spots on face?

    The best cream for dark spots on the face should have active ingredients like hydroquinone, vitamin C, kojic acid, niacinamide, hyaluronic acid, and licorice extract. These ingredients show proven results in lightening dark spots and evening out skin tone.

    3. How long does the fastest dark spot remover take to show results?

    Do not expect overnight results. Visible differences can vary depending on the skin type and the product. A realistic timeline is about several weeks to a few months of consistent use. So what is the best dark spot remover for face? — One that shows results slowly but steadily.

    4. Can dark spot removal creams or serums be used on any skin type?

    No, as different individuals have different sensitivity. Some may react to strong ingredients like hydroquinone. At high levels, it can be very harsh on sensitive skin. Make sure you choose a product that is specifically formulated for your skin type. If you are not sure what it is, please consult a dermatologist. They will conduct an assessment and then develop personalized recommendations for you. It’s also important to stick to the manufacturer’s recommendation of dosage and application for best results.

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  • 23 Backhanded Compliment Examples in Everyday Life That Are Actually Insults

    23 Backhanded Compliment Examples in Everyday Life That Are Actually Insults

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    Backhanded compliments, also known as left-handed compliments, fake compliments, or negging, are a form of communication that combines both praise and insult in a subtle or indirect way. These are remarks that may initially seem like compliments but actually contain subtle criticism or insincerity.

    The person giving these compliments is often one of our friends and colleagues. It leaves the recipient feeling unsure about the giver’s true intentions. Research states, “We predict that although backhanded compliments are intended to generate liking and convey status, they fail to elicit either, because people who deliver backhanded compliments are perceived as strategic and overly-concerned with impression management.”

    It is common to impulsively reply when veiled insults are uttered to you, but you need to learn some smart comebacks for backhanded compliments. These will help you take a stand without being too mean.

    What Are Backhanded Compliments?

    Backhanded compliments hurt people’s feelings. A person could think they are commending your abilities or achievements, but in reality, what they’re saying comes off as presumptuous and disrespectful. Or they do want to be rude to you but wrap up the comment in a way that it looks like a praise, ultimately confusing you.

    Related Reading: 12 Warning Signs Of Gaslighting And 5 Ways To Deal With It

    • Backhanded compliments take on various forms, such as insults disguised as compliments, passive-aggressive comments, or veiled comparisons
    • These insulting compliments are often used to hide insecurity in conversations to subtly undermine someone’s confidence, self-esteem, or accomplishments, while maintaining a facade of politeness
    • They can be used intentionally or unintentionally and are commonly employed in social settings, sometimes as a means of asserting dominance, but are always uttered as sugar-coated words. We live in a so-called polite society after all
    • These demeaning and fake compliments could be about anything, like your gained or lost weight, age, hair, appearance, life, job, business idea, or what you wear
    • For example, saying “Your new haircut makes you look much better,” “You look nicer when you have your hair straight” or “This is the ugliest shirt I’ve seen; only you could have made it look decent” are backhanded compliments because they imply an underlying insult or disbelief in the person’s choices or looks
    • Another example is when someone’s update on Instagram makes us feel inferior and we try to bring them down with backhanded compliments like “I love that you have so much time in the day to put up these wonderful posts on Instagram”
    • A form of backhanded compliments is ‘negging‘. It is a classic form of emotional manipulation which is defined as low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances”
    passive aggressive backhanded compliments examples
    It doesn’t matter who you are; everyone has experienced backhanded compliments some time in their lives. This is why it is important to learn how to identify them and deal with them.

    As receivers, it is crucial that we recognize these disguised slights for what they are and respond with assertiveness. As givers, we must strive to provide genuine compliments that empower and uplift rather than belittling others. These remarks showcase the intricate nuances of human communication and highlight the importance of both self-awareness and empathy.

    23 Backhanded Compliment Examples In Everyday Life

    We have some backhanded compliments at work listed below, so you can tell off your colleague firmly and professionally. These are subtle signs of passive-aggressive behavior and include backhanded compliment examples from family members that we all can relate to too. If you’re someone whose instincts hit quite late when someone insults you, we have got comebacks for backhanded compliments as well.

    On asking how to deal with such people, a Quora user said, “With a smile. Don’t let it bother you. It is a very passive-aggressive thing to do.” Another Quora user said about insults disguised as compliments, “I pretend not to notice the backhanded part and respond as if it was a genuine compliment – perhaps slightly more enthusiastically. That leaves the person with the option of explaining that it wasn’t really a compliment (which makes them look like an a***hole), or pretending it was a genuine compliment (which makes them look like an a***hole).”

    Related Reading: Emotional Abuse – 9 Signs And 5 Coping Tips

    We think that it is important to reply when veiled insults start ruling the conversation. It becomes even more charming when you make yourself comfortable and keep your cool while responding to such folks. Let’s have a look at these backhanded compliments listed below and how to respond to them.

    1. “You look amazing for someone who doesn’t wear makeup”

    This is one of the major backhanded compliment examples for a girl. What is wrong with this ‘compliment’ is that it somehow implies that the person’s natural appearance is not attractive. The deliverer is somehow complimenting and complicating your life in one sentence.

    Response: “I appreciate the compliment, but I believe everyone looks beautiful in their own way, with or without makeup”

    2. “You’re pretty even without the need for all that makeup”

    One of the most common backhanded compliment examples, and is often said to women. The speaker is implying that makeup is redundant or deceitful, and that people only apply it to try and look pretty.

    Response: “Makeup is a form of self-expression; I wear it because I enjoy it.”

    3. “You’re quite articulate for someone of your background”

    This is one of the most passive aggressive backhanded compliments examples. This suggests surprise that a person can speak well despite their ‘background,’ demeaning the person as well as their race, country, class, caste, or religion.

    Response: “People from diverse backgrounds are quite articulate and they probably know more than one language. How many do you know fluently?”

    4. “You did an excellent job on your presentation; I didn’t expect that from you”

    When we talk about backhanded compliment examples at work, this one has got to be the most common one. You must have heard colleagues or bosses use this one. It implies low expectations from the person and underestimates their abilities. This can sometimes be said by a superior who is trying to flirt and establish an office romance.

    Response: “Thank you. I’m pretty proud of my presentation. I knew I’d nail it. What were you expecting, though?”

    Related Reading: How To Tell If Your Boss Likes You Romantically?

    5. “You’re so confident; I wish I could be reckless like you”

    The backhanded compliment hints that the person’s confidence is perceived as carelessness or overconfidence.

    Response: “Thank you! Confidence comes from self-assurance, calm, and positivity.”

    6. “You’re really strong for a girl”

    This is another one of the backhanded compliment examples for a girl. It suggests that women are typically weaker, undermining their strength. This results in low self-esteem in a lot of women.

    Response: “Strength isn’t gender-specific; men can be physically weaker than women and women can be stronger than men.”

    7. “You’re so lucky to have found a partner despite your quirks”

    What makes this comment wrong in so many ways is that it suggests that the person’s quirks should have made them undesirable, or that having quirks and uniqueness is somehow bad. And that the person’s partner is bearing quite a burden.

    Response: “That’s what happens in relationships. We both accept and love each other’s quirks. Do you have someone like that in your life too?”

    comebacks for backhanded complimentscomebacks for backhanded compliments
    People of all genders and ages have to deal with backhanded compliments in their everyday lives.

    8. “You’re not like other lawyers; you’re actually fun to be around”

    This particular comment on a person’s profession is one of the many backhanded compliment examples at work. It infers the stereotype about lawyers as dull and unfriendly. Comments like these can be seen in all professions, like “You’re so down to earth for an actor” or “You’re not as boring as the other people from IT.”

    Response: “Being a lawyer doesn’t define a person’s entire personality. You know that, right?”

    Related Reading: 13 Signs He Disrespects You And Does Not Deserve You

    9. “With a little house remodeling, your place would look even better”

    This comment does not have the best intentions as it implies that your home needs remodeling to be at its best. It’s coming across as nitpicking and this person is being an ungracious guest or a friend.

    Response: “I wasn’t looking for feedback. And I think when a house feels like a home, that is enough for a person.”

    10. “You’re so well-spoken for someone without a college degree”

    By saying something like this, they are clearly underestimating the other person’s intelligence due to their educational background.

    Response: “Education doesn’t determine one’s ability to communicate effectively or compassionately. In fact, many people with college degrees say whatever they want to despite how ignorant it makes them sound.”

    11. “You’re brave to wear that; I could never pull it off”

    This double meaning comment hints that the person’s outfit is too bold or unconventional and that they are being judged for it.

    Response: “Thank you! Why am I brave? I didn’t understand. It’s just a piece of clothing.”

    12. “You’re a great mom despite being so career-driven”

    They are alluding that career-oriented women can’t be great parents, or a woman could only be either of the two.

    Response: “I believe being a dedicated mom and professional are both achievable.”

    Related Reading: 8 Signs You Have A Controlling And Manipulative Husband

    13. “You’re so disciplined with your diet; I’d be miserable eating like that”

    This backhanded compliment implies that the person’s healthy eating habits are a source of misery, and that they must secretly hate their lifestyle.

    Response: “I enjoy eating nutritiously; it makes me feel great! You should try it.”

    14. “You’re such a good athlete. Maybe because you were lucky enough to get an athletic body”

    The fact that this statement attributes the person’s athletic accomplishments to luck rather than sheer hard work and talent undercuts the receiver.

    Response: “I’ve worked hard to excel at my sport, and I’m proud of my progress.”

    15. “You’re so organized; it’s surprising for a boy”

    According to this observation, individuals of a certain gender tend to be disorganized. This is especially said to males as they are unreasonably seen as irresponsible or lazy, whilst females are seen as to have the need to always be organized because it’s their job to make sure everything is in its place.

    Response: “Organization is a valuable skill for any gender.”

    Related Reading: 50 Compliments For Men That Make Them Happy

    16. “You’re very intelligent for a woman of your descent”

    This statement implies that knowledge depends on your gender and race. And that intelligence, womanhood, and certain races have very less compatibility. Women all around the world have to hear comments like these, especially those who aren’t Caucasian, like Brown and Black women.

    Response: “This was quite an ignorant remark for someone who’s white. Gender and race don’t dictate one’s capacity to learn and grow.”

    17. “You’re a great artist, considering your limited resources”

    This ambiguous remark suggests that the artist’s work is only impressive because of limitations and not their talent. The artist may not even perceive their resources to be limited, but this speaker certainly thinks they are.

    Response: “Artists create art from the heart, regardless of their resources.”

    18. “You’re so patient with your disabled child; I’d lose my mind in your shoes”

    In essence, this phrase implies that disabled children are a burden. It’s ableist and adds to the systemic bias against disabled people.

    Response: “Parenting has its challenges, but I cherish every moment with my kids. It’s not exactly sensitive to want a specific kind of child.”

    Related Reading: Worst Parenting Mistakes We Always Make And Should Immediately Correct

    19. “You have a great smile despite having unaligned teeth”

    This person is unfairly assuming that a smile can only be appealing if you have perfectly aligned teeth. The fact that they even noticed the teeth and then thought it’s okay to point them out as a flaw is ridiculous. Instead, one should always try to make others smile.

    Response: “I didn’t understand. The setting of one’s teeth does not have anything to do with a great smile.”

    20. “You’re very successful despite your difficult upbringing”

    According to this remark, achievement shouldn’t be expected given the person’s upbringing. This remark may be a genuine compliment in another context, but no one should bring up anyone’s childhood traumas when they wish to commend their success.

    Response: “My upbringing has shaped me, but it doesn’t define my success.”

    on dealing with insecurity and moreon dealing with insecurity and more

    21. “You’re such a good listener for someone who talks a lot”

    The remark implies that the person’s chatty nature ought to impair their ability to listen, or that being both simultaneously is not possible. Also, the speaker clearly doesn’t appreciate the other’s conversations and thought this is the best way to tell them.

    Response: “I believe in balanced communication; talking and listening are both important.”

    22. “You’re a talented musician, especially for someone without formal training”

    The other person’s musical abilities and hard work are being underestimated in favor of a mostly inaccessible formal education.

    Response: “Music is a passion, and I’ve honed my skills through dedication and practice. As many musicians do.”

    23. “You’re a great leader for someone who’s usually so introverted”

    This statement inaccurately implies that introverted people are often not effective leaders.

    Related Reading: Dating An Introvert – 11 Communication Hacks To Use

    Response: “Introverts actually excel in leadership roles by leveraging their unique strengths. Leadership doesn’t belong to certain personality styles.”

    In response to backhanded compliments, it’s essential to maintain confidence and assertiveness. You can acknowledge the compliment aspect, if you want to, while addressing the underlying issue or misconception politely. This helps educate the person and encourages more respectful communication.

    Key Pointers

    • Backhanded comments can be hurtful to people because they are actually insults that are disguised as compliments
    • These unflattering comments are frequently employed in social situations to degrade someone’s accomplishments or self-worth while putting on a front of civility
    • “You’re really opinionated for a woman” or “You’ve got such strong features despite having brown skin” are a few of the examples of backhanded compliments and one should know why they are harmful
    • Sometimes, responding when someone insults you like that is requisite, but it’s also really important to not lose your cool while doing so. Calling them out is necessary but you can do it in a subtle manner if you want to

    The true nature of compliments is to uplift self-esteem, encourage, and make the other person feel good through your sincerity, but backhanded compliments do the opposite. We have examined the subtleties of these double-edged verbal swords. They are seemingly well-intended yet covertly demeaning. By shedding light on their nature, we can strive for positive and more constructive interactions in our personal and professional lives, fostering healthy relationships.

    Understanding backhanded compliments is not just an exercise in dissecting language; it’s a journey into the intricacies of human psychology and communication. Through wisdom and empathy, let’s foster a culture of genuine appreciation, where words become instruments of support rather than weapons of criticism.

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  • 11 Self-Care Blogs to Take Better Care of Yourself

    11 Self-Care Blogs to Take Better Care of Yourself

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    There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.

    Need some resources on self-care?

    We recommend that you check out this post, which features over 200 self-care ideas and activities. In addition, you can continue reading below to discover several self-care blogs that are worth visiting for the valuable information they share on how to better take care of yourself.

    But how important is self-care, really? Why do we need to do it, especially when there are those who view self-care as a frivolous pursuit that borders on vanity?

    Let’s quickly discuss the importance of self-care.

    The Importance of Self-Care

    Self-care is the act of recognizing your physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional needs and doing what’s necessary to restore your well-being. (Learn about the various types of self care here.)

    Without regular self-care, you’ll find yourself more vulnerable to illnesses and easily succumbing to stress, anxiety, and depression.

    The following blogs show you how to take time out of your busy schedule to practice self-care to keep yourself sane, healthy, and happy. These blogs are your guide to instilling the habit of taking better care of yourself.

    This is important. You are important.

    13 Best Self Care Blogs to Follow

    1. The Blissful Mind

    the blissful mind | blogs about lifestyle | blogs about life stories

    Blog owner Catherine’s main goal is to help readers “focus on what matters.” As a self-professed overthinker and perfectionist, Catherine’s former life was filled with stress and anxiety.

    After realizing that she needed to take time off from her commitments to focus on her personal needs, life became more meaningful for Catherine.

    Her blog has helped a lot of people do the following:

    • Grow a healthy mindset
    • Include self-care practices in their daily routines
    • Learn effective time management

    You should read this blog if you are looking for ideas on how to achieve a work-life balance. The blog is also a wonderful resource for those who are seeking to live a more authentic life filled with peace, meaning, and happiness.

    2. Self-Care Pursuit

    self care pursuit | self care blog ideas | self care blogsself care pursuit | self care blog ideas | self care blogs

    If you need some resources for getting started on your journey to self-care, this blog is worth checking out. Its creator, Sarah, is a health care provider and certified life coach.

    Her decade and a half of experience in this field makes the blog one of the most authoritative resources on how to create a better life for yourself. In this blog, you’ll find articles on goal-setting, healthy habits, and doing stuff that you truly love.

    3. Uncustomary

    uncustomary | starting a self care blog | self love and self care blogsuncustomary | starting a self care blog | self love and self care blogs

    Tired of blogs that are too serious or melancholic in their approach to self-care? This blog offers a refreshing take on life and inspires readers to appreciate things that are colorful, vibrant, and happy.

    At the helm of Uncustomary is Mary, who guides readers in their own journeys to self-love. Along the way, she teaches them how to build their self-esteem, reach their goals, and take care of themselves in more positive ways.

    4. Blessing Manifesting

    blessing manifesting | blogs about lifestyle | blogs about life storiesblessing manifesting | blogs about lifestyle | blogs about life stories

    Need to find resources on mental health issues, but don’t want to be bogged down by the way they are discussed in other blogs? Blessing Manifesting helps give you a fresh perspective about how to maintain sound mental health.

    Like other blogs on the topic of self-care and mental health, you’ll find the posts here encourage you to stay positive despite the numerous challenges you may encounter in life.

    However, the blog has a cheery ambience. Each post comes with eye-catching infographics summarizing the key points of the topic discussed.

    5. Monica Beatrice (formerly The Elgin Avenue)

    monicabeatrice.com blog | self-care afternoon | blogs about life lessonsmonicabeatrice.com blog | self-care afternoon | blogs about life lessons

    Monica Beatrice Welburn is the founder of this blog, and her aim is to provide resources for readers navigating their way to living an inspired life infused with happiness and style.

    Readers will find articles about fashion, health, relationships, and career. The site exudes elegance. With the photography and authoritative writing, this blog inspires you to live the life you truly want.

    6. The Wonder Forest Blog

    the wonder forest blog | self care tips | self care blog namesthe wonder forest blog | self care tips | self care blog names

    If you are looking for inspiring resources to jumpstart your own creativity—especially on rest days—then look no further than this blog. It has a whimsical ambience to it, from its name down to the posts written by site owner Dana Fox.

    Dana offers a number of DIY crafts for every season. Her tips for creating a cozy home environment might be just what you need to transform your apartment into a haven of comfort and tranquility.

    In addition to giving you tips on home makeovers, this blog encourages readers to set aside time to do things that promote joy and positive transformation.

    7. The Sunshine Suitcase

    the sunshine suitcase | personal growth blogs | how to make self-care a habitthe sunshine suitcase | personal growth blogs | how to make self-care a habit

    The Sunshine Suitcase was created by Summer, a blogger based in Hawaii. Her passions include helping people live “a life that they don’t need a vacation from.”

    The topics of her posts include ideas for self-care, mental health, and personal growth. Learn more about how you can give the best of who you are to the world through her tips and suggestions for taking better care of yourself.

    8. Self Care Every D*mn Day

    self care every d mn day | self care tips | self care blog namesself care every d mn day | self care tips | self care blog names

    Blog creator Stephanie’s main goal is to help shed light on reader’s self-limiting beliefs, and empower them to overcome these beliefs. If you need inspiration and resources for moving beyond the pain you’ve experienced in the past, this blog can help you a lot.

    When you visit the blog, you’ll read articles about writing, relationships, cultivating self-worth, taking better care of yourself, and more.

    9. NAMI

    NAMI | personal growth blogs | how to make self-care a habit | how to make self-care a habitNAMI | personal growth blogs | how to make self-care a habit | how to make self-care a habit

    The official site of the National Alliance on Mental Illness runs this well-curated blog on mental health. It contains well-researched articles that promote healing, acceptance, and support for those who are going through or have gone through mental health issues.

    The site aims to end the stigma regarding mental health issues. Thus, you can read inspiring articles of recovery, strategies for coping, and news about treatments to address the above-mentioned issues.

    10. The Zen Teacher

    the zen teacher | self care blog ideas | self care blogsthe zen teacher | self care blog ideas | self care blogs

    This blog’s founder is Dan Tricarico, a high school English teacher and author of two books: Sanctuaries: Self-Care Secrets for Stressed Out Teachers and The Zen Teacher: Creating Focus, Simplicity, and Tranquility in the Classroom.

    As you can probably deduce from the titles of Dan’s books, his content is geared toward educators who need effective ways of taking care of themselves while working in their demanding profession.

    Some of the topics covered in the blog include:

    • Intentional self-care
    • Wellness and well-being for teachers
    • Mindfulness
    • Peace
    • Philosophy

    11. Self-Care With Gracy

    self care with gracy | starting a self care blog | self love and self care blogsself care with gracy | starting a self care blog | self love and self care blogs

    Although this blog’s author is currently on hiatus, the site is still an authoritative resource on self-care. Reading Gracy’s posts is like conversing with a friend who only wants the best for you.

    Gracy is a mom and a coach specializing in self-care. Aside from that, she is also a certified yoga instructor and the author of the book selfcarefully.

    Final Thoughts on Self-Care Blogs

    Taking care of ourselves does not have to mean spending a lot, and it doesn’t necessarily require hard work. However, many of us do need others to show us how to do self-care the right way.

    The self-care blogs featured today can serve as guides to living a life that prioritizes our personal needs. After all, we can only give our best to others when we’re healthy and happy.

    We hope the blogs featured today can inspire you to live as you’ve always wanted.

    Finally, if you’re interested in more resources about self-care and self-love, you might want to check out these articles:

    self care blog ideas | self care blogs | starting a self care blogself care blog ideas | self care blogs | starting a self care blog

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    Michal Feyoh

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  • Story 5: Love Yourself

    Story 5: Love Yourself

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    I was born on the 25th of the eight-month, I’m the only child of my parents. Writing this would be the first time of me expressing my self to the extreme. I grew up all alone with my parents. My parents were the busy type, my dad was never at home, same with my mum, but she still made out time for me.

    In school, I wasn’t a fast learner l, my teachers would beat me for not learning fast. During weekends and holidays, my mum would keep me at her friend’s place and I would impose my self on and throw myself at other kids. At age seven, this is always a means for me to have company. At times my parents would allow me to stay over at my childhood friend’s place, during the holidays she would take me to my uncle’s place.

    At age 12 I got singled out as the weird one for the first time. It’s not like people didn’t talk to me, it’s just that they didn’t let me in, and some times I feel I didn’t fit in. I wasn’t friends with anyone, even if someone did come close, it was always one-sided. They were able to share and I wasn’t and that was about it. I often felt like I was alone like I didn’t matter like I wasn’t important… I was very lonely because I felt left out all the time and I have no one to talk to about my feelings.

    When I got to senior secondary school, I had friends which I include in most things but they never include me in anything, this made me feel so left out. Same as when I finished secondary school, I had loads of friends but none was my close friend. I got through a large portion of my life like that. Unsurprisingly. I also went through depression for the first time during these years.

    After secondary school, I attended a jamb lesson, I became exposed to a whole lot of things and I understand that what I had been going through were depression and social isolation. I didn’t like the crowd, then I would leave the crowd to a quiet place just to stay alone. My phone became my best friend, music, and earpiece, my companion.

    My friends would always ask why I’m always alone. I got tired of the questions, so I had to put my self out there, I didn’t really know how to do it. The only thing I could do was to type of goggle to see if I can get an answer. I would type things like this…( how to make friends, how to be happy and other kinds of stuff).

    A woman on Instagram with the name @officialebonylips, most people might know her. She acts all weird but I must say she really changed my mindset. I told her how it has been for me for the past years. We video call, it was like a four to five hours conversation, after telling her all, I felt incredibly light after. That day she told me something that is most relevant here, she said, “ you are there for people, you listen to them. You smile and joke around, why then do you think anyone will turn away if you opened up?”.

    To be honest, I don’t know the answer even now, but I can speculate. It’s not like the people around me, my family and friends are not there for me, but for some reason, I assume they are not, for some reasons, I think I feel like my burden is too personal to let anyone help.

    The truth of the matter is that all these are B.S. There is actually nothing wrong with reaching out to someone and taking their help when you need it. Sometimes I had bad times, I stay alone, I know there are a lot of people in my life who care about me, but I feel like there isn’t anyone sometimes. Those moments I just close my eyes and take a deep breath and tell that annoying voice to shut up.

    Lesson Learned

    You are not alone, you are amazing and lovable, so give yourself the consent to be loved by those around you, loving your self is hard but important and when you do, you’ll realize how much that loneliness was you and not your surrounding.

    About the writer:

    Ekekwe Blessing is a History and International Relations student at the University of Abia State, Nigeria.

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  • It’s Very Healthy to Masturbate, But Is It Possible to Overdo It?

    It’s Very Healthy to Masturbate, But Is It Possible to Overdo It?

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    It’s Perfectly Healthy to Masturbate, But Is It Possible to Overdo It?

    What do you call a completely normal behavior that a majority of adult men partake in regularly, but that society oftentimes likes to make you feel guilty about? You may have euphemistically referred to this activity as “choking the chicken” or “playing pocket pool” at an earlier age, believing the word itself too taboo to touch, but you know what we’re talking about here is masturbation.

    If you’ve masturbated in the past month, the past week, even the past 24 hours, give yourself a congratulatory pat on the back. You, dear pal, are part of a super, non-exclusive group made up of the vast majority of adult men living in the U.S. According to one study, over 70 percent of boys have masturbated at least once by the time they reach age 17. By the time they reach adulthood? Well, by then it’s viewed as a universal behavior.

    There’s nothing inherently wrong with masturbating on the regular (whatever that may mean on an individual level). In fact, it’s viewed as an integral part of normal sexual development, and can lead to a number of benefits.

    RELATED: It’s About Time You Switch Things Up When It Comes to How You Jerk Off

    “Many people find masturbation to orgasm to be a stress reliever and mood elevator due to both the chemical response it causes, as well as the tension and then relaxation of muscles after the fact,” says Dr. Vanessa Valentino, a New York City-based psychologist and sex therapist.

    “[Masturbation] often helps people know their body and experience more pleasure in sexual encounters with others,” she adds.

    You might be wondering what the catch is here. Is there a dark side to masturbation you should know about? In short, as with all good things, too much of it — at least too much reliance on it, in terms of both your physical and mental well-being — can become problematic.

    Here’s what you need to know about the potentially negative side effects of masturbating too much.

    Psychological Impact

    The reason we masturbate is pretty straightforward: it makes us feel good, even if only temporarily. But there is a drawback when you return to the well too many times.

    “When you masturbate, you experience a release of the neurotransmitter dopamine,” explains Michele Day, sex addiction therapist, coach, consultant and director of the Chicago Center for Sex & Wellbeing. “Dopamine hits the reward centers of the brain and is the same neurotransmitter that is released when people abuse drugs — cocaine, heroin, alcohol, etcetera. People who compulsively masturbate receive ‘dopamine hits,’ which leaves them sated temporarily, but when that doesn’t last, they return for more.”

    That, as Day points out, is when compulsive behavior can come into play, which is where things can go south.

    “Compulsive or addictive masturbation can leave you feeling depressed and shameful due to depletion of neurotransmitters and your inability to stop the behavior,” she says.

    Also of concern, according to Valentino, is using masturbation as a coping mechanism.

    “It should not be relied on to manage mood,” she says. “If you are becoming dependent on masturbation to function or feel happy, it is time to see a psychologist who specializes in sex therapy.”

    Its Impact on Your Sex Life

    Masturbation is an equally normal behavior whether you’re riding solo or boo’ed up (in which case mutual masturbation can come into play). That said, your method(s) of masturbation can sometimes lead to issues in the bedroom with your partner.

    “The way you are masturbating, both physical technique, duration, and what porn you watch or your fantasies, can all potentially have negative side effects if they are not similar to what your experience is during real sex with your partner,” says Dr. Valentino. “Many of my patients have an issue due to a longstanding pattern of non-transferable fantasy with masturbation, resulting in sexual performance issues.”

    In addition to being unable to perform the way you would like to, this can also lead your partner to think they are doing, or have done, something wrong — or worse. “The partner often feels that there is ‘something wrong with them’ when their lover isn’t aroused,” explains Day. “Compulsive masturbators will frequently let their partners believe this as a way to escape the shame that they feel.”

    Its Impact on Other Aspects of Life

    There is no over/under on the number of times it’s considered appropriate to masturbate within a given timeframe, whether we’re talking a day, a week, or a month. Everyone masturbates at a different frequency, and it only becomes problematic when it begins to interfere with other aspects of your life that deserve your attention.

    These are the questions you need to confront, according to Day, if you feel the behavior has become compulsive: “Are you masturbating and/or looking at pornography at work? Are you isolating from others so you can stay at home and masturbate? Have you been in a car accident because you were looking at pornography and/or masturbating? Do you hide your masturbation from your partner? Are you tired in the morning because you were up late watching pornography and/or masturbating?”

    If any of these situations sound familiar, seeking out professional help could be tremendously beneficial.

    “If you are neglecting your partner, your work, your social life, etcetera, it may be time to rein it in and seek the help of a psychologist who specializes in sex therapy,” advises Valentino. “You probably will not be able to undo this on your own, but some brief therapy can be very helpful.”

    Developing Feelings of Guilt or Shame

    A final aspect of too much masturbation to consider is the guilt/shame factor. Meaning, you like to masturbate but can’t help feeling guilty after having done so, as if you’ve done something wrong or are a bad person for engaging in that kind of behavior.

    As Day puts it: “A lot of people were raised that their bodies and sex are something to be ashamed about, especially in American culture, but they are not.”

    Guilt and shame surrounding masturbation stem from different places, explains Valentino. The former signifies that you have a negative perception of masturbation, likely internalized by social influences, while the latter suggests you think society would judge you for engaging in the act. 

    “These are rooted in different causes, and are treated somewhat differently in therapy,” says Valentino. “Psychotherapy focused on sex issues that applies cognitive behavioral techniques would help resolve this issue, and the underlying confidence issues in your own decision making.”

    Masturbation is a normal behavior that an overwhelming majority of men engage in. Whether you partake or you don’t, what’s most important is that your decision is coming from a positive place (as opposed to, for example, feeling so shameful about the activity that you are unable to engage in it).

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    Logan Hansen

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  • How to accept where you’re at in your life (even though it sucks) – Irene Elias | Self Love Junkie

    How to accept where you’re at in your life (even though it sucks) – Irene Elias | Self Love Junkie

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    We can agree that on some level in the last few months we’ve all been in a tough place emotionally, and mentally, in our own way. And has brought up a lot of feelings – judgemental feelings more so.

    We’ve spent a lot of time at home and with our own thoughts which has brought us face to face with our unhealed trauma, behaviours, heartbreak, past stuff, or how we’ve dissociated from our truth. 

    Maybe you’re beating yourself up for gaining weight, or you have a record player in your head that’s rooted in sad negative thoughts and you know you should be more positive, or you’re single and feeling lonelier than ever which is triggering the “I’m not enough” belief, or you’re experiencing fear and anxiety.

    Whatever it may be, you don’t have to love or like everything about yourself. However, it’s easier if we can accept it – self-acceptance right where you stand today.

    Because when we don’t invite acceptance in, we get stuck internally by judging ourselves. And you might be thinking, “Irene, I can’t love that part of me who is single and feels lonely,” “Irene, I can’t love that part of me who thinks she’s ugly and doesn’t have the confidence to do what is best for her”, “Irene, I can’t love that part of me who’s experiencing anxiety and fear.”

    I hear you. And your feelings are valid. Just don’t stay there as it can cause neurochemical chaos in the brain. When we fight with these feelings all that does is create more judgement. The more you shame it the more it’s there. What we feed grows. And all you’re doing is perpetuating the energy it’s riding on.

    I’ll use myself as an example; over the past year I’ve been having some skin issues – acne/ eczema/dermatitis on my face. This has been so foreign to me because I’ve never experienced such a thing, I’ve always had clear skin.

    I made my choice.

    After doing much emotional release work, I knew I didn’t want to keep recycling these emotions, and it was time to bring in self-acceptance. Did I like it? No. But there was no point in me fighting with it because clearly, I wasn’t getting get rid of it by judging.

    I am telling you this story because I want you to understand that…

    Anything that you’re dealing with right now that you’re judging, that you don’t like, an aspect of yourself, a personality characteristic, a physical thing, a situational thing, even with what’s going on in the world, you don’t have to like it, but be open to accepting it. Every letdown is a spiritual teacher in disguise.

    All of these different aspects of us want to be accepted. If you can recognise it and say, “Oh, there’s the critical part of me, I see it’s here, I accept this part of me, what does this part of me need? Or is there anything I could give this part so it’s not so loud right now?”

    Most of us try to change ourselves by shaming it by making it wrong and just hating. But as you know that doesn’t work.

    💗 You can accept to not be where you want to be in your love life and still be kind to yourself
    💗 You can accept to not be where you want to be financially and still be kind to yourself.
    💗 You can accept that you have low self confidence and still be kind to yourself.
    💗 You can accept that you don’t look the way you want right now and still be kind to yourself.
    💗 You can accept that you have anxiety and fear and still be kind to yourself.

    So you want to acknowledge, give comfort, and then find that exit route.

    It’s okay to be exactly where you’re at. You are precisely where you need to be at this moment in your life, even if it doesn’t feel like it does.
    However, don’t confuse self acceptance with giving up – very different.

    Giving up looks like, “I m never going to find love,” “I’m never going to make money,” “I’m never going to have confidence,” “I’m never going to have clear skin again.” “I’ll never be able to lose weight,” so why bother?  

    Self-acceptance is, “This is where I am, I might not like it, but I accept it and I’ll stop fighting against it and move with it.”

    And until you accept what’s in front of you, navigate it, heal it, and learn lessons from it, it will probably keep growing OR continue to drive you crazy.

    When we invite acceptance we also then make room to invite new empowering thoughts or a different way, or a different perspective.

    The ability to be able to respond and not react keeps us on the empowered path. And empowerment is a big part of acceptance.

    Here a 3 tips to inspire you to be more patient with yourself….. 

    1. Accept who you are and where you are.
    Ask yourself, “What do I really need in this moment?” When you accept it, you can see it more clearly. When you shame it or fight it or judge it, there’s no where to go. It’s like being in a boxing ring and you’re the only one fighting with yourself.

    2. Take responsibility for your healing.
    Look at your triggers and patterns. One thing that keeps you out of self love is being in victim mode. Yes, sometimes we have been victimised, and you have my full compassion, and it’s important to do emotional release work, however, if you continue relating to yourself as a victim you are perpetuating the belief that you don’t have the ability to survive and thrive. Taking responsibility sounds like this, “Yes I’ve been hurt. I’ve had shitty things happen to me. There were times where I had no power or choice but now, I love myself enough to take my power back, to take responsibility, and look at things in a more empowering way.”

    3. Self-nurturing.
    At certain points, you have to decide, “You know what? I don’t know what tomorrow brings, so I’m choosing to like myself – I’m deserving of taking care of myself.” And one way to take really good care of yourself is to observe where your thoughts are at. Are they coming from an empowered place? If not, ask yourself, “Okay. Who’s voice is that? Is it my ex boyfriend? Mum? Dad? Friend?” Once you discover who’s voice it is, say to yourself, “I return these thoughts with love back to you…this program of thinking does not belong to me.”And then, ask yourself, “What do I really need to hear?”

    When you were little what was the ONE thing you wanted to hear most from your mum or dad?

    I see you.
    I believe you.
    I am here for you always.
    You are enough.
    You are worthy.
    You are so loved.

    Whatever it is, say these things to yourself. Mother yourself in a way that is nurturing to you.

    Be gentle with your inner critic when it pops up. You are human. You are not going to love everything about yourself at all times. And that is okay.

    The moral of the story is, we can not always control what happens to us but we can control how we treat ourselves, and what we make things mean. 

    May you find your own rhythm of accepting where you’re at, and being more gentle with yourself.

    I hope those tips are helpful! Try them out, and feel free to let me know what happens!”

    Love,
    Irene



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    Irene Elias
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