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Tag: Sabrina Carpenter Man’s Best Friend

  • 5 Sabrina Carpenter Songs You Need On Your Halloween Playlist

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    Between slipping into a glittering green fairy dress (even though, let’s be honest, we’d still clap for her if it wasn’t Halloween) and twirling around like Lizzie McGuire’s bobble-headed cartoon alter ego circa 2003, Sabrina Carpenter has officially crowned herself queen of chic spooky. She even turned her Short n’ Sweet tour into a full-on Día de los Muertos ball last year—because of course she did—making it nearly impossible not to be obsessed. And while we’re crossing every frozen finger that she brings the same ghostly glam to her Madison Square Garden show this October 31, we’ve conjured up a killer five-song playlist to groove (and maybe haunt) to in the meantime.

    ‘Feather’

    With “RIP B*tch” scrabble-glued onto cotton candy–pink cross tombstones, our black-veiled Sabrina Carpenter becomes the pop patron saint of poetic justice in the ‘Feather’ music video—a glittery, pastel reimagining of karma itself. Directed by Mia Barnes, it’s the moment she fully claims her cinematic universe, where no mediocre man makes it out alive. Between nonchalantly touching up her lip gloss as the mansplainers around her literally fight themselves to death and seductively reeling in a leering business bro by his tie before the elevator doors close, ‘Feather’ is a masterclass in femme fatality—all wrapped in bubblegum and vengeance.

    Cheeky, camp, and career-defining, it’s a Barbie-pink burial for the male gaze.

    ‘Taste’

    Think Sabrina Carpenter’s Pinterest board is all heart-cutout corsets and enough double entendres to power a Tinder algorithm? Maybe most days—but not during Halloween. Around that time, it’s probably overflowing with Death Becomes Her clips and revenge-core inspo.

    Enter ‘Taste,’ a wickedly gruesome, wink-at-the-camera spectacle directed by Dave Meyers. It opens on a luscious, pink-lit bedroom—equal parts boudoir and crime scene—scattered with sharp weapons and a plush teddy bound with lipstick-stained tape. It’s hard to tell whether Sabrina’s the final girl or the one doing the slashing (spoiler: probably both).

    Then comes Wednesday’s own goth queen, Jenna Ortega, co-starring in what might be the campiest catfight of the year—two femme fatales literally trying to kill each other over a man. There’s a backfiring voodoo doll, blood aplenty, and a wink of meta self-awareness that makes the whole thing feel like Mean Girls reimagined by a horror auteur. It’s hilarious, sexy, and gloriously unhinged—exactly the kind of chaos we expect from Sabrina’s candy-coated carnage era.

    ‘Tornado Warnings’

    Okay, so this one leans less horror movie massacre and more emotional hazard warning. When Sabrina sings ‘Tornado Warnings,’ she’s not telling us to dive into a bunker—she’s reminding us to steer clear of anyone who can’t weather their own emotional storm. It’s less about surviving natural disasters and more about dodging human ones.

    Instead of lying to your therapist like she does (so they don’t pry you away from the mess you mistake for love), Sabrina’s saying: recognize the red flags before you’re glued to someone with the emotional adhesive strength of conjoined twins made of codependency and denial.

    It’s one of the most self-aware moments on emails i can’t send—the calm eye of the storm where she finally admits she saw the warning signs but stayed anyway. In a record built on sharp confessionals and winking deflections, ‘Tornado Warnings’ feels like the rare track where she drops the glitter and lets us see the girl beneath the chaos, clutching her phone, still hoping the storm might text back.

    ‘Nonsense’

    Our Shakespearean-but-make-it-hot rhyme smith, Sabrina Carpenter, has these ‘Nonsense’ outros on lock, but nothing hits quite as Halloween-coded as her Short n’ Sweet Day of the Dead ball. She brings the crowd into the frightful fun with a perfect pop-culture jump scare: dressed as Sandy from Grease in a slick black jumpsuit, she pauses mid-set, feigns hearing a noise, and gasps, “My god, guys, that was so scary. It sounds like it’s, like, a pop hit.” Cue the beat drop—a clever twist on the song’s usual opener, “Woke up this morning / thought I’d write a pop hit.” It’s classic Carpenter—self-aware, flirty, and funny enough to resurrect the dead.

    Even the OG ‘Nonsense’ video shows up at the costume party. Joined by her besties Pamela and Whitney Peak, Sabrina flips her usual petite glam for a boyish disguise—ball cap, hoodie, and all—playing the role of her own love interest. The hat? A piece of her own merch reading “DIPSH*T,” complete with a glossy red heart on the brim. It’s chaotic, camp, and entirely her: the patron saint of unserious sincerity, turning pop music into a punchline you actually want to kiss.

    ‘Tears’

    We might not be the kind of Man’s Best Friend who takes our golden retrievers on walks up to haunted mansions—but we’re still going inside anyway, even if we’re tear-soaked. Yep, we’re talking about ‘Tears,’ Sabrina Carpenter’s Rocky Horror Picture Show–inspired fever dream, directed by Bardia Zeinali and starring the ever-cool Colman Domingo in full drag as her demon-eyed, disco-dancing mentor from hell.

    From the blood-soaked tear that flashes in its title sequence to the surreal stripper pole sprouting from a cornfield (seriously, Smallville could never), ‘Tear’ is a glitter-drenched pop exorcism. It’s all purple light, stilettos, and synth-heavy chaos—part haunted house, part Studio 54 séance. And, true to form, Sabrina ends it in her signature way: with another man meeting his glittery demise. Consider it the final scream queen flourish in her spooky pop canon.

    Before the coven flies out, what Sabrina hit is getting the cauldron bubbling at pre’s? Tag us on Insta, Twitter, or Facebook — we might pull a tarot card to see if you’re right. 💅🔮

    TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SABRINA CARPENTER:
    FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM | KOMI | TIKTOK | TWITTER | WEBSITE | YOUTUBE

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    Rachel Finucane

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  • An Album for the Patrick Bateman Bros: Doja Cat Is An 80s Lady on Vie

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    After releasing the deliberately polarizing Scarlet in 2023 (followed by a reissue called Scarlet 2 Claude in 2024), Doja Cat seems to have done yet another swing back in the opposite direction. One that is aimed more toward the very genre she claimed she was running as far and fast away from as she could back in 2023, when she tweeted, “Planet Her and Hot Pink were cash-grabs and y’all fell for it.” Further describing the content on those records as “mediocre pop.” At the time, a great many fans were upset by the comment, while others insisted it was all somehow part of her Scarlet persona. And maybe it was, considering Doja would, as of this year, describe that album as a “massive fart” that just needed to be released. A way to express her anger and rage over a few things, including not being “taken seriously” as an artist. So it was that she explained in an interview with The New York Times, “Not to diminish it, but it was a bit of like, I just need to get this out—it was a massive fart for me. I thought fixing that would entail making music that was more visceral or more emotional or maybe more angry or more sad. And I enjoyed performing it onstage, but it didn’t get me all the way there. So I want to return back to what I know.”

    And return she has. Not just to the pure pop that Hot Pink and Planet Her embodied, but also even farther back than that, all the way to the 80s (though Doja herself was born in 1995). Because, sure, it’s been “a while” since someone wielded that shtick, with the most recent notable example being Dua Lipa’s 2020 album, Future Nostalgia, drenched in the same 80s-centric stylings on Vie, which marks Doja Cat’s fifth record in seven years (with 2018’s Amala being her debut). But Doja takes it more than just a few steps further than Lipa in terms of centering the album’s entire universe in the 80s. Because it’s not just a sound, it’s a world, with Doja committed to staying in character while inhabiting that world. This, of course, extends to her visual accompaniments—whether it’s the music videos she’s released thus far (see: “Jealous Type” and “Gorgeous”)—or the album variants that feature her on the cover in various 80s getups (particularly the Quality Time vinyl edition). All of this proving the accuracy of what she told Michelle Miller of CBS Sunday Morning: “I’m always wanting to, like, create a character, like, create some sort of narrative and theme and world. World-building.”

    To establish that world immediately on Vie, Doja begins with “Cards,” which, for about the first fifteen seconds, sounds like it could be something from a Blood Orange album (it’s the saxophone). But then, with its production from Y2K, Gavin Bennett and Jack Antonoff (who worked on nine of the fifteen tracks, and who makes music that usually sounds 80s-esque anyway), the song bursts forth in some very Janet Jackson circa Control type of glory. This as Doja opens with the chorus, “A little more back and forth/A little more catch and throw, baby/The more we can clear this smoke/A little further I’ll go/Maybe in time, we’ll know/Maybe I’ll fall in love, baby/Maybe we’ll win some hearts/Gotta just play your cards.” The up-tempo pace of the track instantly establishes the exuberant tone that Doja is going for, in addition to ruminating on her love of romance—intermixed with sex, of course. This intoxicating combination evident in the lines, “If you play fair, stranger/It’s all you could eat while I lay there, stranger” (that word, stranger, also being the title of track six on Vie). At the same time, Doja exhibits the shyness of a girl looking for true love when she says, “I’m enough to wait for/Move too quick and you off the roster.”

    As the saxophone plays us out of “Cards,” Doja’s warning fittingly transitions into “Jealous Type.” For it’s apparent that once she (or her “character”) does open her heart to someone, she’s not liable to let them “muck about” with others so readily. Once again starting the song with the chorus (which will be a common occurrence on Vie), Doja soon asks the question, “Could be torn between two roads that I just can’t decide/Which one is leading me to hell or paradise?” This meaning that Doja can’t quite decide between remaining “dulcet” or going full AK-47 in terms of expressing her feelings of jealousy. Something she does manage to convey regardless in the second verse, rapping, “And if she really was a friend like you said she was/I would’ve been locked in, but I called your bluff/No girl enjoys trying to tough it out for a party boy/Everyone wants you and you love all the noise.” In a sense, it’s almost like she’s channeling Evelyn Richards in American Psycho (whose name is changed to Evelyn Williams [played by Reese Witherspoon] in the film version), who has some similar sentiments toward Patrick Bateman.

    And yes, needless to say, this is probably exactly the type of album that, had it actually been released in the 1980s, Bateman would have been sure to pontificate about in one of the chapters. Granted, Bateman couldn’t cover every piece of 80s pop culture, including Knight Rider, which is not one of the things he finds worthy of mentioning at any point in American Psycho. Doja Cat, however, seems to figure that, since Vie is an “80s album,” the Knight Rider theme is a natural fit for “AAAHH MEN!,” even though Busta Rhymes already locked down that sample in 1997 with “Turn It Up (Remix)/Fire It Up.” What’s more, it seems that Antonoff enjoys working on tracks wherein female singers make a play on words using “men” and “amen” (hear also: “Manchild”).

    Of course, Doja has more of a legitimate reason to wield the Knight Rider theme than Busta in that she raps, “And if had more common sense/Then I would grab my ride and dip.” She also adds to that sentiment, “And I have too much tolerance/You ugly and fine as shit.” That latter dichotomous line referring to how a man can be aesthetically foyn, but still repulsive “on the inside,” thanks to his “personality” (or lack thereof). Even so, Doja seems always willing to take a chance on romance. Even with the knowledge that romance so often gives way to reality, ergo a loss of the rose-colored glasses that can then lead to so much tension and fighting. Thus, a need for “Couples Therapy,” which happens to be track four on Vie.

    It’s this sweeping, lush song that particularly conjures Doja telling Jimmy Fallon, “I’m very inspired by Janet. I’m very inspired by Michael and Prince.” And yet, there’s even brief auditory glimpses of Aaliyah (specifically, “Rock the Boat”) as Doja narrates the problems of some other couple, rather than speaking about herself or her own relationship. This bringing to mind the distinction of her writing process that she made to Miller on CBS Sunday Morning, noting, “When I’m writing, I’m writing about situations in general. I’m not really, um, always pulling from my personal life” and “I love to talk about love. I love to talk about, um, you know, relationships and dynamics and things like that.” Carrie Bradshaw would tend to agree.

    Interestingly, “Couples Therapy” starts out with Doja talking about a relationship from the third person perspective before switching to the first: “She just wants him to be involved/He just wants her to finally notice/They just need one more push to cope/Can we both detangle our souls?/This argument’s been in the oven/We can’t always be in control.” This, in fact, channels Madonna’s 1989 “divorce track” from Like A Prayer, “Till Death Do Us Part,” on which she sings with the same perspective shift, “Our luck is running out of time/You’re not in love with me anymore/I wish that it would change but it won’t/‘Cause you don’t love me no more/He takes a drink, she goes inside/He starts to scream, the vases fly/He wishes that she wouldn’t cry/He’s not in love with her anymore.” Yes, maybe Madonna and Sean just needed couples therapy—though it wasn’t as “chic” in the 80s to seek that kind of help. Just ask The Roses.

    But, at least after becoming newly divorced and/or single again, a person can feel like their former “Gorgeous” self. This being the second single from Vie after “Jealous Type.” And yes, with this particular track, Doja is sure to cover a different kind of romance: the kind that somebody has with themselves a.k.a. self-love. So it is that Doja remarked of “Gorgeous”: “[It’s] not about being in a relationship with someone else, it’s about how you relate to yourself and how you feel about yourself. And that was something that I really wanted to kind of convey in this song.” Which she definitely does (“I mean I only got myself to appeal to [I do]),” along with the feeling that this should be playing during one of Gia Carangi’s photoshoots (the lyric, “She wanna be chic when it’s inspired by heroin” being especially resonant). Or during one of Bateman’s murder sprees. Either way, it’s among the most 80s songs of Vie, which really means something (this along with the fact that Charli XCX’s newly-minted husband, George Daniel, is one of the co-writers and co-producers). In fact, it’s almost like Doja took a page out of The Weeknd’s playbook for this entire record, for he’s been dipping into that 80s sound well for a while, especially since 2020’s After Hours.

    And it would track that Doja could have been inspired as much by The Weeknd as any pop artist from “back in the day,” for she’s no “Stranger” to collaborating with him, having done so on a remix of his 2020 song “In Your Eyes” and in 2021 for “You Right” from Planet Her. Who knows, maybe she even has him partially in mind when she opens “Stranger” with, “We could be strange/At least we’re not the same.” Later, she’ll add, “And I believe the weirdest ones survive.” This echoes one of Madonna’s recent aphorisms on Jay Shetty’s On Purpose podcast, during which she declared, “Not fitting in is what saves you.” Granted, Doja speaks on some pretty normie couple behavior when she says, “Call me over to watch some White Lotus.” This perhaps serving to remind listeners that she did make a song with one of season three’s cast members, LISA—namely, “Born Again,” which also features RAYE. Not to mention her fairly basique nod to Kill Bill for the “Stranger” video. But, in any case, it’s a sweet song, and one that relishes the joys of finding one’s fellow “weirdo” in life.

    With that in mind, Doja seems only too pleased to make her fellow weirdo “All Mine” on the following track, which features a prominent nod to Grace Jones, both in sound, tone and, well, the opening sample of dialogue. Dialogue that comes from Conan the Destroyer, with Princess Jehnna (Olivia d’Abo) asking Zula (Jones), “How do you attract a man? What I mean is, suppose you set your heart on somebody. What would you do to get him?” to which Zula instantly replies, with the same “savagery” as a man, “Grab him, and take him.” Or what a certain Orange Creature, especially during his 80s heyday, would rephrase as “grab ‘em by the dick.” That Conan the Destroyer was released in 1984 only intensifies Doja’s commitment to the “world building” of Vie, which exists solely in the 80s (complete with her public appearances in promotion of the album, during which she’s dressed in attire befitting said era). Save, of course, for the lyrical content itself.

    In the spirit of Zula’s advisement, Doja croons in tune with the mid-tempo track, “I ain’t waiting around, yeah/I’ll be taking him out, yeah/‘Cause I’m only about him/Wanting what we want/Claiming what we claim/Make you say my name/And I’m all yours/It can’t bе my fault/This street goes both ways/Let a giver takе/You’re all mine, boy.” In this sense, Doja channels a time when women were only really just coming into their own as independent people capable not only of being seen as a man’s “equal” (which really isn’t hard to do considering how subpar most men are), but being able to “claim” in the same way—or so one would have liked to believe—without incurring as much judgment as they would have in the past. And in the 80s, it was not so “past” at all, considering the fact that most women couldn’t even open their own bank accounts in the U.S. until the passage of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974. Considering that Doja is very much the type of woman who needs to have her own bag, the 80s are probably about as far back in time as she would be willing to go (not to mention the fact that a Black woman further back than the 80s didn’t have much in the way of rights either).

    To be sure, it wouldn’t have been half as easy for a woman to simply command, “Take Me Dancing,” as both Doja and SZA do on the song of the same name. Teaming up yet again after the stratospheric success of “Kiss Me More” (which even broke Brandy and Monica’s “The Boy Is Mine” record for the “longest-running all-female Top 10 hit on the Billboard Hot 100”), SZA commences the track with the repetition of the demand, “Baby, take me dancing tonight.”

    Once she makes her desires known, Doja then comes in with the chorus, “You’re so raw, boy, and you’re so romantic/When you fuck me right and then you take me dancing/It gets lonely out here in this big old mansion/In these hills cooped up, boy, can you take me dancing?” Clearly speaking from the perspective of someone who lives in L.A. (with Doja herself being a native), it’s almost as if Doja is intending to channel Norma Desmond if she were living in the 80s instead of the 50s.

    While not as lyrically varied as “Kiss Me More,” “Take Me Dancing” is just as “boppable,” and surely worthy of a music video that finds Doja and SZA hitting the clubs of Los Angeles through an 80s lens (which must surely be less derivative than the very Britney concept they “came up with” for the “Kiss Me More” video). Maybe even one with a Maxxxine-inspired slant.

    On “Lipstain,” Doja actually says she doesn’t wanna dance. Well, that is, metaphorically speaking, beginning the song with the declaration, “I don’t wanna dance around it/Talkin’ ‘bout our love is easy.” So easy that it even makes her “speak in tongues”—a.k.a. French (e.g., “Tu es ma vie et mon tout/Et tout le monde le sait” and “Laisse-moi embrasser ton cou”). And why shouldn’t she? Considering that Vie is named in honor of the French word for “life,” of which Doja remarked to CBS Sunday Morning, “That means life and I feel like you can’t have life without love.” “Vie” not only means “life” in French, as in, “tu es ma vie,” but it also derives from the Roman numeral V, and Doja wanting to reference this being her fifth record. One that shows a side of her that perhaps wasn’t as noticeable before. The romantic side (after all, that doesn’t come across in such previous lyrics as, “If she ain’t got a butt/Nah, fuck it, get into it, yuh”). Which is why Doja was prompted to explain of the consistent theme, “This album is very much about love in a way that reflects how I want it to be in the future—my hope, my hopefulness. What I hope it could be. Because I remember there was a time when people were talking about wanting to be with each other, and it seems to have gotten a bit more vapid and just sort of like, not real… Not loving, not romantic.”

    But it is “romantic,” in its retro way, to want to “mark your man” (as Peggy Olson would call it) with a bit of lipstick on his collar…and elsewhere. Or, as Doja calls it, a “lipstain.” This said when she sings, “Kiss you on the neck on purpose/So they know my favorite lipstain.” The “they” being other women that might try to “holla.” A fear that prompts Doja to note, “We gotta mark our territory for them dogs, girl.” That’s certainly how Britney felt on “Perfume” when she used the eponymous beauty product to talk about marking her own territory via the lyrics, “And while I wait, I put on my perfume/Yeah, I want it all over you/I’m gonna mark my territory.” For Doja, though, lipstick will suffice.

    And, talking of Britney, Doja very much gives off 00s-era Britney energy on the lyrics for “Silly! Fun!” (a song that matches the playful exclamations in its title) when she sings (while oozing pure exuberance), “Wouldn’t it be fun if we went to a party?/Wouldn’t it be fun to fall deep for somebody?/I know it could be a blast to just pop out a baby/And we’re so very silly getting married in Vegas.” Spears did all of those things and then some in the 00s, but Doja wants to “make it 80s” with her musical spin on such a narrative (one that she calls her homage to lovebombing). And yes, “Silly! Fun!” definitely offers the kind of jubilance-inducement one would expect of such a title, practically begging its listeners to snort cocaine to this soundtrack. It also echoes the theme of “Stranger,” reiterating the idea that Doja has found someone to match her freak, so to speak (and to quote a Tinashe song rather than a Doja one)—and that she’s all the better/happier for it. As made further apparent when she gushes, “You’re my person, this my first time, I’m in love/Those men were practice in my past.”

    On “Acts of Service,” this talk of finding “my person” continues immediately, with Doja asking the question, “Would it mean that I found my person/When the language is acts of service?” The “language” she’s referring to obviously being “love language,” of which there are five categories: acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and physical touch (all five have Vie vinyl variants named in their honor). And so, if Doja can find that “special someone” who speaks her language, in addition to embodying some of the other ones, then, “Please, this is an achievement.”

    The slow tempo and “boudoir-ready” sound, co-produced by Fallen, Stavros and Kurtis McKenzie, is yet another example of the Janet Jackson inspiration on the album. Though, of course, the rapped portions of the song are all strictly Doja, especially when she says, “Yeah, said I/I just deleted Raya/That must mean that I’m your provider/That just mean I’ma be your rider.” Something about this verse feeling like a nod to the Joseph Quinn drama that happened earlier this year, with some outlets reporting that Quinn was “caught” on the dating app for “posh” people (a.k.a. celebrities [or even just “influencers”]) while still “with” Doja (much like David Harbour when he was married to Lily Allen). Either way, it’s a pointed remark. Perhaps the kind that would later prompt Doja to “Make It Up” to her love with an apology. This song having the kind of sound that makes one think of Prince taking a bubble bath (or maybe even think of Vivian Ward [Julia Roberts] taking a bubble bath while listening to Prince).

    To that point, Doja asks her lover in the second verse, “Can I run your shower?/Can I fill the tub?” So it is that Doja obviously wants to keep the acts of service love language going. And, in a certain sense, “Make It Up” also has shades (no pun intended) of Ariana Grande’s “make up,” a song from thank u, next about, what else, make up sex as Grande urges, “And I love it when we make up/Go ‘head, ruin my makeup” (so yeah, it’s sort of like 50 Cent rhyming “nympho” with “nympho”). In a similar fashion, complete with using the repetition of the same word, Doja sings, “If we make love/Would I make it up to you?” In other words, would it make this person, er, come around “One More Time.”

    While Daft Punk might already have a signature song called this, Doja throws her own hat into the “One More Time” ring. Even though she, too, mostly just repeats that phrase for the chorus. Even so, the song explores the struggle of being vulnerable, especially as it pertains to allowing oneself to fall in love. Awash in the sound of “80s electric guitar,” Doja remarks, “It’s never easy/We’re willingly uncomfortable/I want you to teach me/We’re both feeling unlovable/We gotta learn to unlearn it/It’s gotta hurt if we’re burning/When we get closer, I curse it/Breaking the cycle, I know I deserve it.” In other words, she deserves to be “Happy.”

    The Marvin Gaye-esque opening of said song, the penultimate track on Vie, inevitably leads to Doja speaking more rudimentary French (as she did on “Lipstain”), incorporating the repetition of the command, “Brise/Mon coeur/Encore/Ce soir” (meaning, “Break/My heart/Again/Tonight”), in between asking, “Are you happy?/Who would get mad at you/Doing what you wanna do?” A query that sounds, in its way, like MARINA asking, “Are you satisfied/With an average life?” (on a side note: MARINA also has a song called “Happy” on Froot). But the answer to that question is, patently, Doja, who expresses being plenty mad when she says, “TLC, I saw, I creeped/She’s in our bed, I bought the sheets.” This pop culture reference not being 80s at all, but peak 90s. Alas, Doja can’t keep it entirely “of the time” she’s emulating, putting her own contemporary spin on the lyrics while borrowing mostly from the sound of the Decade of Excess. Which she, like many others, wants to “Come Back.”

    For this grand finale, Doja selected Antonoff as the sole producer of the song (the only other one on Vie that he produced on his own being “AAAHH Men!”). And for this big responsibility, Antonoff seemed to riff off Doja’s tone of voice to fully exude an all-out Wilson Phillips sound. To be sure, “Come Back” has a very inspirational sound in the spirit of said band (particularly their best-known hit, “Hold On”). But just because it sounds that way doesn’t mean Doja is saying things intended in that spirit. For when she sings the chorus, “Changin’ the way that you act to me/Can’t switch the tone while I’m ‘bout to leave/I worked it down till the atrophy/You missed the mark and her majesty/Beggin’ me, ‘Baby, come back to me,’” it’s evident that Doja has reached her threshold on giving love—or at least this particular love—a chance.

    In this regard, “Come Back” is like Doja’s version of “Goodbye”—the Sabrina Carpenter track that concludes Man’s Best Friend (and yes, Antonoff co-wrote and co-produced that song, too). For, like Carpenter, Doja is sending a big kiss-off message to the person who thought that she would always be around/come running at the drop of hat. In both songs, each woman emphasizes that this man’s sudden desire to “come back” to the relationship and (potentially) “be better” is a classic case of too little, too late. Which is exactly why Doja pronounces, “It turned you on when I told you off/I’m pleased I ain’t the bitch you was hopin’ for/If we keep this up, and you hold my doors/And you take my bag, and you hold me more/I don’t think that would make up for the hope I lost.”

    Much like the collective hope that was lost during the Decade of Excess itself, with Ronald Reagan ramping up the concept of neoliberalism (with his counterpart, Margaret Thatcher, also doing the same “across the pond”) through Reaganomics. A so-called philosophy/set of policies that served only to further dash the dreams and livelihood of the average American. Turning the U.S. into an even greater cultural wasteland that wouldn’t deign to fund the arts in general, let alone music education. Even so, compared to now, there’s no denying the 80s had a lot more luster. A far greater sense of hope and aspiration.

    To boot, in the spirit of songs from “that time,” Doja even dares to challenge her usual audience by making tracks that last well over three minutes in most cases. Which is a tall ask of a generation that’s grown accustomed to mostly only having the focus for a song that’s about two minutes, if that. So perhaps her goal really is to fully transport listeners back to that time, and remind them that while time travel might not be possible (as was “promised” in Back to the Future), the “DeLorean” that people will have to settle for in 2025 is Vie.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Madonna’s Influence Once Again Makes Itself Known in the Work of Sabrina Carpenter—This Time Via Her 2025 VMA Performance

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    Just when you think Sabrina Carpenter might be taking a break from her busy schedule of making Madonna references (whether doing her interpretation of M as Marilyn for Vogue [after already doing her interpretation of M as Marilyn from the 1991 Oscars] or infusing “Like A Virgin” aesthetics into a “Bed Chem” BRIT Awards performance), she goes and does something like her live debut of “Tears” for the MTV VMAs. And while most pop culture connoisseurs were quick to make the connection between Carpenter’s “Tears” performance and the rain-soaked “…Baby One More Time” performance from Britney Spears’ 2001-2002 Dream Within a Dream Tour, the overall Madonna-ness of what was happening onstage couldn’t be denied. Starting, perhaps first and foremost, with the set design taking its inspiration from late 70s NYC.

    This blip was, of course, not only one of the heights of the city’s “creativity bursts,” but also the very era when Madonna herself blew into town to become part of that vibrant creative scene flourishing amidst the urban decay. Because, yes, the mid- and late 70s were also the peak of New York’s financial crisis—hence, the infamous New York Daily News headline, “Ford to City: Drop Dead” when ol’ Gerald refused, initially, to give a bailout to NY when it was on the verge of bankruptcy. A reality that became glaring in its ever-crumbling buildings and infrastructure. Accordingly, the town devolved into a crime-ridden horror show, the stuff of nightmares. To the point where law enforcement actually distributed a now notorious pamphlet at the airport called “Welcome to Fear City,” designed to warn visitors about all the various perils that would meet them should they dare to set foot inside the cesspool.

    Despite all the warnings to people about visiting this modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah, let alone living there, dreamers and “free spirits” (so often “code” intended to refer to people in the LGBQTIA+ community) couldn’t be dissuaded. The arrival of these “brave souls” who chose to set up shop in the city at a time when it wasn’t just affordable, but actually dirt cheap resulted not only in a hotbed of experimental creativity, but also a hotbed of sexuality—oozing out of everyone’s…apertures. Even after the AIDS epidemic cast a dark pall over everything as soon as the 80s arrived. Almost like a swift punishment for all those unmitigated, orgiastic good times in the 70s.

    The kind of times that Madonna conveys so well in her work—revisiting it often in her visuals and sounds. Case in point, her performance of “Deeper and Deeper” during 1993’s The Girlie Show. Awash in sweltering, rhythmic writhing, Madonna and her dancers, all outfitted in 70s, nightclub-ready attire, turn the stage into one giant, festering pore of sexuality (a look and theme also revisited in the video for and live performances of 2005’s “Hung Up”—another very 70s number, and not just because it samples from ABBA). Carpenter attempted a tamer version of that for “Tears” during the VMAs (but then, the entire ceremony was decidedly tame this year, with Carpenter’s appearance standing out as the most “salacious” of all—and mainly because it was the queerest). Because, although there might have been plenty of flamboyant gays to go around, it didn’t mean things weren’t going to remain “family friendly” (since so many pearl-clutchers make the correlation that to be gay is to be “unfriendly” toward the proverbial family). After all, the show was being broadcast for the first time ever on CBS. The type of network that generally reaches an older demographic than MTV was once accustomed to.

    That said, many viewers likely had no idea what Sabrina and co. were talking about with all their mention of “dolls” on the protest signage being paraded around the stage. A stage that looked almost as fraught and filled with queerness as the segment in The Girlie Show that begins with “Express Yourself” and segues into “Deeper and Deeper” (itself a 70s-themed video). Emphasis, of course, on “almost” for Carpenter and her dancers’ performance. For while it might be intentionally visually chaotic, there is nothing sexually fraught about it, with Carpenter using words (through the abovementioned protest signs) instead of physicality to get her pro-LGBTQIA+ message across.

    Madonna, in contrast, was never afraid to get visceral—“uncomfortably” sexual—when it came to showcasing queer love. This done at a time when it was considered especially “disgusting” by conservatives (and “liberals” alike) as a result of AIDS. But rather than recoiling from the idea of showing physical touch among her queer dancers, Madonna leaned into it all the more, in both the Blond Ambition Tour and The Girlie Show, which both toured the world at a time when the AIDS scare was still at a peak. For, as she puts it during her The Girlie Show rendition of “Deeper and Deeper,” “Sometimes you gotta tell the world the way you feel. Even when they don’t wanna hear about it.”

    While Carpenter is “noble” for addressing a topic that “the world” doesn’t want to hear about and for being the only musical act during the 2025 VMAs to say something even remotely political (shit, even Lady Gaga couldn’t be counted on for it this time around), she still didn’t go as “all the way” as Madonna surely would have. And it isn’t just the 70s stylings of this segment in The Girlie Show that draws easy comparisons to Carpenter’s “Tears” performance. There’s also her 2019 “God Control” video, during which she, once again, returns to the 70s for a night out at the disco where gun violence breaks out within the erstwhile “safe space” for queer people.

    The song, like “Tears,” also has 70s-infused musical backing, produced in the spirit of disco. Yet another reason why the “Deeper and Deeper” connection was made to “God Control” (with both videos sharing a club setting, albeit the latter with a far more macabre tone). And as Madonna dances all devil-may-care in the moments before an armed white male enters to shoot up the place, the contrast between what the viewer sees and the chirpy sound of her voice singing, “This is your wake-up call/We don’t have to fall/A new democracy/God and pornography” is of a breed of irony and sardonic humor that Carpenter has yet to master.

    In her own 70s-infused way, Carpenter is also saying “this is your wake-up call” to those who don’t understand that the loss of trans rights is the loss of human rights. And that when one sect of humanity is degraded in this way, no one else is safe from such harm either. She just happened to present it in a less “in your face” manner than Madonna would have, opting to incorporate a random Britney reference as well. One that seemed to be done mostly for the sake of looking “hot” while being political. Something Madonna has also frequently done without being quite so random about her allusions. In any case, one modern hetero blonde pop star advocate for the LGBTQIA+ community is better than none.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Sabrina Carpenter Creates Yet Another Taurus Anthem With “Tears”

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    Evidently continuing to assert herself as the reigning queen of making Taurus anthems (sorry Adele [though “Someone Like You” still slaps, particularly as a Taurus anthem/torch song]), with “Taste” (not to be confused with Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s) and “Please Please Please” being some of the pinnacles of what that means, Sabrina Carpenter has released yet another one: “Tears.” Marking the second hit single from Man’s Best Friend (following “Manchild”), it’s very much in keeping with the tropes of this specific zodiac sign—more to the point, her specific zodiac sign. And yes, it was Carpenter herself who once said, “My favorite thing about being a Taurus is that I get to use the excuse ‘I’m sorry I’m a Taurus.’ It kinda works in every facet of life.” 

    Not least of which is lusting after a man who’s responsible, reliable and “good around the house.” For there’s nothing a Taurus loves more than someone who not only respects the sanctity of their domestic space, but even seeks to further elevate it. For their (usually-not-so-humble) abode is an environment they especially deem their “kingdom” (though they tend to see most everywhere else as part of their “dominion,” too). And, considering that Carpenter has been on tour for the past two years (embarking on the Short n’ Sweet Tour from 2024 to 2025), it’s no wonder she would deliver such comforts-of-home-craving lines as, “Assemble a chair from Ikea, I’m like, ‘Uh.’” Granted, the unabashed decadence of Taurean tastes means you won’t typically find them anywhere near an Ikea. Particularly with a limitless budget like Carpenter’s. 

    What they can be found near, however, are spooky houses with sumptuous interiors, as is the case with the Rocky Horror Picture Show-inspired video that accompanies the track. For what is a Taurus if not adventurous and naughty, paired with a dichotomous penchant for desiring luxury, debauchery and comfort? Then, of course, there’s the “problem” of being ruled by Venus, which applies not just to the planet, but to the goddess also known as Aphrodite. Her sensual nature, which makes the frequently-depicted-in-the-buff deity a natural fit for embodying the Goddess of Love, is what extends to the sign she reigns over, with the Taurus’ sense of raunchiness (and, as Carpenter also represents, general horniness)—e.g., “I get wet at the thought of you/Being a responsible guy…/Tears run down my thighs—getting them into almost as much trouble as their stubbornness. 

    Regarding the raunch factor, it’s at least part of what draws “innocent” (even if only in appearance) Carpenter to the abandoned-looking ramshackle of a house after her incompetent boyfriend apparently got them into a car crash. Then, like Alice down the rabbit hole or Dorothy in Oz, Carpenter stumbles upon a “land” that makes everything suddenly feel like it’s in Technicolor, having formerly existed in a bland, black-and-white way in the life she shared with her now-presumed-dead boyfriend. But Carpenter’s Easter Sunday appearance quickly gives way to clothes coming off (quite literally) as she dances and prances with Colman Domingo (a Sag cusping Scorpio, Taurus’ opposite on the zodiac wheel, which also makes Scorpio something like their diabolical id) in the overt Dr. Frank-N-Furter role. A pied piper bringing out all of Carpenter’s inner kink. On this note, it seems an unfair (and inaccurate) stereotype that Taureans are also often accused of being “boring” when, in fact, that couldn’t be further from the truth. For their love of “responsibility” is matched only by their love of fun and beauty (these things, increasingly, often being what only money can buy and, therefore, part of the Taurean obsession with making as much of it as possible).

    This love of fun and beauty is what Carpenter embodies in the Bardia Zeinali-directed video (following what he did for another one of Carpenter’s Taurus anthems, “Please Please Please”). Her Taurean fervor for the heady combination of vibrant aesthetics and sensuality reaches an especial crescendo as she “just happens to find herself” in frilly lingerie while pole-dancing in some nearby cornfield. And not just because, as an Earth sign, Carpenter can’t help but show some love for “the land.” With cornfields also being a “necessary” cliché in many horror movies (see, most recently: Pearl, with the eponymous character putting her own “sexy spin” on what a cornfield can provide, mood-wise…apart from just creepiness). But the “horror” (or horror-comedy, considering the movie it pays homage to) pastiche of “Tears” is wielded, ultimately, to emphasize a “pure” and “wholesome” girl (read: a Taurus) coming to terms with her irrepressible sexuality (read: a Taurus at war with their so-called dark side). Much like Janet Weiss (Susan Sarandon) in The Rocky Horror Picture Show

    By the same token, what awakens the sexual gratitude in a Taurus are the very “normie,” Hestia-oriented types of things Carpenter brings up when she declares, “A little respect for women can get you very, very far/Remembering how to use your phone gets me oh so, oh so hot/Considering I have feelings, I’m like, ‘Why are my clothes still on?’/Offering to do anything, I’m like, ‘Oh my God.’” And, of course, the domesticity “codedness” of, “I get wet at the thought of you/Being a responsible guy/Treating me like you’re supposed to do/Tears run down my thighs” can’t be overemphasized enough. Mixing the pure and the profane as only a Taurus can with that chorus (no rhyme intended), Carpenter then continues, “A little initiative can go a very long, long way/Baby, just do the dishes, I’ll give you what you, what you want/A little communication, yes, that’s my ideal foreplay.”

    It doesn’t get more “banal” than that—and yet, this expression of “just wanting some safeness and dependability” is spiced up in a manner that only a Taurus can do it, with their keen ability to infuse the quotidian with a much-needed tincture of sexiness and sassiness. A skill that, lately, Carpenter has been quite keen to flex. Because, yes, a bit of a “nobody does it better” attitude is also part and parcel of being a “standard” Taurus. Along with plenty of snark “hidden” behind that false veneer of “being slow” (or slow-talking).

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • A ‘House Tour’ Of Man’s Best Friend

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    Pause on the paw prints dusting the Man’s Best Friend doormat and sashay yourself right into the disco-ball-splattered, 80s-retro fever dream that is Sabrina Carpenter’s latest album. Think: part Barbie’s Dreamhouse, part Greek villa, all glitter. Our five-foot-something, lipstick-smudged starlet didn’t just move in—she co-produced the whole place with Jack Antonoff and John Ryan, with Amy Allen sneaking her name onto the writing credits too (we see you, queen 👀). And because we can’t resist giving you the full ‘House Tour’ (track 11 shoutout, let’s gooo), we’re mapping out five of this twelve-song sonic estate, room by room. If Short n’ Sweet’s tour staging was the Pinterest inspo board, this is the finished Airbnb listing—complete with ABBA-tinted windows and shimmer squares that sparkle even when the lights are off.

    Foyer

    With a giant no-letters-cough-emails-from-boys sticker slapped across the mailbox, we’re already giggling before we even step inside. Swing open the front door and boom—we’re dropped straight into the foyer, soundtracked by the first single-marked, Jack Antonoff–co-produced ‘Manchild.’ If pop and country had a glitter-drenched baby, this would be it—and let’s be real, you’ve already tried (and probably failed gloriously) at its line-dancing TikTok trend the second those banjos started strumming. And honestly? The foyer is the perfect place for it. It’s your first impression, the little taste of what’s to come, the welcome mat of the whole record. Sabrina practically greets you at the door with a wink, a hair flip, and this track blasting through a rhinestoned speaker. You’re not just stepping into a house—you’re stepping into her world, cowboy boots, disco lights, and a suspicious amount of lip gloss in the air.

    Kitchen

    We already know you’re cooking up a poison-laced cocktail for your ex-man with your ‘Go Go Juice’ perched pretty on the kitchen counter—like, don’t even pretend you’re not sneaking sips. This sticky concoction is stirred in a pot of Jack Antonoff and John Ryan co-producer magic (with Sabrina, of course, holding the ladle). It’s the sonic equivalent of raiding the liquor cabinet at 2 a.m. and playing Salt Bae with all the wrong ingredients—hello, drunk dials and questionable texts that always feel like a good idea at the time.

    And the eternal question: who’s getting served? Is it John (Shawn Mendes), Larry (Barry Keoghan), or “the one that rhymes with villain” (Dylan O’Brien)? Sabrina’s never spilling the recipe, but you know she’s garnishing it with those cheeky Sabrian-isms only she can pull off. The bridge? It’s basically a tipsy chant straight off a voice note—the kind you wake up and regret, but secretly save because it’s that cute. This kitchen isn’t just where you eat—it’s where the chaos brews. 🍸✨

    Living Room

    Now we’re stumbling straight into the double-entendre ‘House Tour’—and she’s blasting girly chaos at full volume. Welcome to the living room: pink-framed television glowing, popcorn flying through the air like confetti, Sabrina catching every piece in her mouth like it’s an Olympic-level sport. It’s cozy, it’s messy, it’s her. Another three-bandit-produced gem, this track’s textures are total ear candy. You’ve got a car engine shutting off as it parks on “Pretty Girl Avenue,” Sabrina’s giggles sprinkled in like candid soundbites, and handclaps that creep around faintly like footsteps in the hallway. It’s giving pop hauntology but make it sparkly. And then, out of nowhere, she flicks on her inner diva switch—hello, Sabrina-Mariah Carey—serving vocals so soaring they basically rattle the living room speakers. It’s the moment you realize: this isn’t just a house, it’s a full-on funhouse, and Sabrina’s both the ringleader and your slumber-party bestie.

    Master Bedroom

    If Sabrina’s personality were Tinder-personified, this track would have you deleting the app altogether—because why keep swiping when your childhood-bestie-turned-respectable-man is already right there? Between those roaring high notes that blur into moans and the very first lyric, “I get wet at the thought of you” (arguably the most iconic bait-and-switch in pop history), you’re hauling him straight into the master bedroom without hesitation. 🔥 Co-piloted by John and Sabrina, the song even slips in a pop-up of Katy Perry energy with “Baby, just do the dishes, I’ll give you what you…”—a cheeky callback to her viral Call Me Daddy moment, now permanently enshrined as domestic-love-language lore.

    It’s explicit, it’s groovy, it’s Sabrina at her most playful. Then the music video, directed by Bardia Zeinali (‘Please Please Please’ genius) with a gloriously drag-ified Colman Domingo, throws her into a Rocky Horror-inspired funhouse. Underneath the camp spectacle is a sharper edge: a nod to how her full public attention arrived only once she was sexualised—something she’s spoken about candidly with Rolling Stone. This isn’t just the master bedroom—it’s where wit, desire, and cultural critique all tangle in the sheets.

    Bathroom

    ‘When Did You Get So Hot?’ isn’t some finger-tapping, chin-scratching musing about a new crush—it’s a mirror-check anthem, a full-blown compliment you’re tossing right back at yourself. Picture it: you stumble into the bathroom, do a once-over in the mirror, and bam—the glow-up hits like the harsh ring-light setting you accidentally leave on for selfies. This isn’t self-doubt, this is self-devotion. 💅 Another three-co-piloted production, it’s stacked with the signature Sabrina-isms that keep you grinning. She peppers in those talking-singing moments like side-eye commentary, switching inflection verse by verse so it feels like she’s giving herself a pep talk and FaceTiming you from the vanity at the same time.

    At just over two minutes, it’s the shortest song on the record—but that’s the point. It doesn’t take long at all to clock the baddie you’ve become. And because this is MTV Cribs (Sabrina version), the bathroom isn’t just a bathroom—it’s a glowing temple of self-love. Think a marble vanity littered with lipstick-stained dog collars, a bathtub begging for bubble selfies, and Sabrina winking at herself in the mirror like, “Yeah… when did I get so hot?”

    So, which room are you locking the door of, refusing to ever leave? ✨ Give Man’s Best Friend another whirl, pick a couple of lyrics to pin up on its walls like neon signs, and then spill it on our socials—Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. We’ll be snooping like nosy neighbors waiting for the invite. 🪩

    TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SABRINA CARPENTER:
    FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM | KOMI | TIKTOK | TWITTER | WEBSITE | YOUTUBE

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    Rachel Finucane

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  • The Sabrina Horror Picture Show, Or: The “Tears” Video

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    Sabrina Carpenter’s vocal doppelgänger, Ariana Grande, may have once said, “Ain’t got no tears left to cry,” but Carpenter is telling a different tale on “Tears,” the second single and video from her bop-laden seventh album, Man’s Best Friend. A song that indicates she has plenty of “moisture” left to…cry. Only not from her eyes so much as from her vag, ergo the chorus, “I get wet at the thought of you/Being a responsible guy/Treating me like you’re supposed to do/Tears run down my thighs.” Unfortunately, tears running down a girl’s thighs is an increasing rarity amid a climate of irresponsible men (in every possibly form that irresponsibility can take). 

    Like “Please Please Please,” “Tears” is once again directed by Bardia Zeinali (who also, incidentally, directed the Ariana Grande video for “In My Head”). But rather than riffing on a very hetero Bonnie and Clyde theme (complete with Barry Keoghan in the “Clyde” role), this time, Carpenter opts for a rightfully kitschy homage to the masterpiece of camp that is The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Borrowing key elements from the first act of the movie, the well-timed-for-the-advent-of-fall video opens on an overhead shot of a car that’s clearly crashed (though into what is never made apparent), with Carpenter lying face-down off to the side of the passenger seat, as though she was thrown from the vehicle. 

    Dressed in what can best be described as her Easter Sunday best, Carpenter “comes to” as the sound of a howling wolf in the dead of night only adds to the creep factor of her environment. Seeing that they’ve conveniently crashed right near someone’s spooky house (much more convenient than the distance Brad [Barry Bostwick] and Janet [Susan Sarandon] had to walk in order to get to Dr. Frank-N-Furter’s [Tim Curry] castle), Carpenter decides to approach the seemingly abandoned abode to get help. Even if all the signs point to the fact that she ought to just run the other way, lest, like Brad and Janet, she ends up going down a “dark path” from whence she can’t return. 

    When she knocks on the door (with the “spooky vocalizing” of the song briefly playing), no one answers. Yet when she peers through the boarded-up window emanating a glowing red light, she sees a “sexy leg” with a fishnet stocking on it, lifted up on a chair. Dropping her hat at the “salacious” sight, she steps backward and sees that the front door is now partially ajar. It doesn’t exactly emulate the way Brad and Janet are greeted by the handyman, Riff Raff (Richard O’Brien, who also wrote The Rocky Horror Picture Show), suggestively remarking to the couple, “You’re wet.” Soon after, he adds, “I think perhaps you better both…come inside.” These, of course, being the kind of innuendos that Carpenter can readily get on board with (and likely part of her attraction to the cult classic). 

    Just as she gets on board with Colman Domingo in the ostensible Dr. Frank-N-Furter role, along with his coterie of “colorful” guests (a polite word for pearl-clutchers to say “trans”). Guests who make Carpenter feel right at home as they sing along to such lyrics as, “A little initiative can go a very long, long way/Baby, just do the dishes, I’ll give you what you, what you want/A little communication, yes, that’s my ideal foreplay/Assemble a chair from Ikea, I’m like, ‘Uh.’” 

    In the next scene, she’s thrust into a “red room,” with a number of disembodied hands (with over-the-top acrylics) disrobing her as one of them passes her a Coke-inspired can with the “brand” Tears on it and the tag line, “Get wet.” To be sure, these eerily detached arms and hands recall something out of Jean Cocteau’s La Belle et la Bête more than they do The Rocky Horror Picture Show

    Before she knows it, she is getting pretty wet over “Colman Frank-N-Furter’s” vibe and lifestyle, finding herself pole dancing in a cornfield (something about this feeling very Pearl) as this ringleader of “dolls” (as in, “Protect the dolls”) observes her with something like aroused approval (but, like, a gay man’s kind of approval) from his perch on a tractor. Talk about campifying “butch” paraphernalia. 

    The 70s (a.k.a. disco-fied) sound of the track intensifies after Carpenter announces, “Dance break,” which singals yet another backdrop change. One that showcases Carpenter in a showgirl-y number (think: Cher on The Sonny & Cher Show) as she prances along the streets of some alley (for this house is apparently magical in its ability to provide all kinds of milieus at the literal drop of a hat). 

    It would seem that, having been out of the house for so long in these random outdoor settings, the abode evidently realizes it can’t sustain Carpenter’s fundamental heteronormativity, spitting her back out after her choreo with the trans residents runs its course. Once again outfitted in her “Easter Sunday” ensemble, Carpenter tries to get her bearings just as her boyfriend, billed as “the guy who has to die” (Joe Apollonio), randomly appears to say, “Baby! I’m so glad you’re okay.” Carpenter, on the other hand, doesn’t look all that glad that he’s okay, responding, “Wait…no.” 

    Perhaps blaming him (and his straightness) in some way for getting her “bounced” from the house, she continues, “You died earlier I thought.” He replies, “Babe, what are you talking about?” She then meta-ly explains, “It’s a thing, it has to…someone has to die every video.” This being a reference to “Taste” (another one-word single that starts with a “T”). Looking and sounding horrified at what she’s suggesting, before he knows what’s happening, Carpenter says, “Sorry, we’ll always remember you though.” And with that, she boomerangs her high heel into his chest. 

    Carpenter then gets up from the porch and declares, “You have to give the people what they want.” And what the people with, that’s right, taste want are references to The Rocky Horror Picture Show from a mainstream artist at a time when transphobia in the U.S. has ramped up at an alarming rate. Thus, Domingo’s tweet announcing the arrival of the video with, “Protect all the Dolls.”

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Sabrina Carpenter’s Man’s Best Friend Is a Best Friend to Frustrated Women Everywhere

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    It took four albums for Sabrina Carpenter to truly hit her stride, to “find her niche,” arriving at just the right formula with 2022’s Emails I Can’t Send. By 2024, when her sixth album, Short n’ Sweet, was released, the industry was ready to embrace her as one of the next “it” girls of music (along with two other women who had been around for years already: Charli XCX and Chappell Roan). The release of “Espresso” as a single in the spring of that year helped to grease the wheels for her, and by the time “Please Please Please” (the first track that signaled her new musical partnership with Jack Antonoff) was put out as the second single, listeners embraced her to the point of “bequeathing her” with her first number one hit on the Billboard Hot 100 (yes, that’s right, “Espresso” never actually made it to number one). 

    By that point, too, Carpenter’s “A-list” cachet had also been further confirmed by her relationship with a certain Academy Award-nominated actor named Barry Keoghan, who also appeared in the “Please Please Please” video, with Carpenter commenting, “I, genuinely—like, a not-even-biased opinion—I was like, ‘Who’s the greatest actor that I can find for this music video?’ And he was next to me in a chair. And he was so excited about it!” That level of excitement cooled soon after, with Sabrina and Barry breaking up in December of ‘24. And there’s no denying that he still remains an inspiration for her lyrics. Maybe even the first track that kicks off Man’s Best Friend, “Manchild” (arguably the only true “runaway hit” of Summer 2025, and, needless to say, inspired by a lyric from Lana Del Rey’s “Norman Fucking Rockwell”). 

    As the song that sets the tone for the entire concept and theme of the album—that men are hopeless disappointments—it doesn’t get any stronger than this. A Dolly Parton-esque lamentation that finds Carpenter resignedly accepting, “Never heard of self-care/Half your brain just ain’t there/Manchild/Why you always come a-running, taking all my loving from me?” And if he’s not taking Carpenter’s loving from her, he’s offering up only a stunted form of love, as discussed on the album’s second single, “Tears.” And no, she’s not talking about the kind that stream from your eyes, instead referring to a wetness “down there” at the thought of her object of affection “being a responsible guy.” Or, as the chorus phrases it, “I get wet at the thought of you/Being a responsible guy/Treating me like you’re supposed to do/Tears run down my thighs.”

    Serving that “Ariana Grande moan” sound at the beginning, this 70s-ified track, co-produced by Carpenter and John Ryan, is in keeping with Carpenter’s brand of chirpily and sweetly saying what the “pearl clutchers” would consider the raunchiest of things. But if it’s “raunchy” to be aroused by a man showing a little effort in both the emotional and domestic departments, so be it. As for the latter category, Carpenter is sure to instruct men, “A little initiative can go a very long, long way/Baby, just do the dishes, I’ll give you what you, what you want/A little communication, yes, that’s my ideal foreplay/Assemble a chair from Ikea, I’m like, ‘Uh.’” 

    Alas, the problem with a relationship becoming “too” domestic is that it can often lead to the man in the equation treating a woman like one of the pieces of furniture in the apartment or house: she’s just there—comfortable and dependable. This tragedy is addressed by Carpenter on “My Man on Willpower,” during which she returns to her Dolly Parton lilt (and according country-esque musical sound) to paint the picture, “My man on his willpower is something I don’t understand/He fell in love with self-restraint and now it’s getting out of hand.” This notion of a man’s “self-restraint” also comes up again later on “Nobody’s Son,” when Carpenter rues, “But no sir-eee/He discovered sеlf-control/This week.”

    Per the tale of “My Man on Willpower,” he discovered it gradually, with Carpenter recalling, “He used to be literally obsessed with me/I’m suddenly the least sought after girl in the land/Oh, my man on his willpower is something I don’t under, something I don’t understand.” In other words, Carpenter didn’t foresee the usual “reversal” that occurs in most relationships, wherein whoever started out as the most ardent one ends up becoming inversely disinterested as time wears on. The person who started out more disinterested, in contrast, only becomes more “involved”—in large part because they can’t understand where all the other person’s passion went, and they want to get it back by any desperate means necessary. 

    Carpenter’s panic continues to set in as she sings, “He’s busy, he’s working, he doesn’t have time for me/My slutty pajamas not tempting him in the least/What in the fucked up/Romantic dark comedy/Is this nightmare lately?” They call it, full-stop, monogamy. Or what Richard Wright (James Remar) faux mistakenly called “monotony” in Sex and the City

    SC slows it down a bit on the following track, “Sugar Talking,” (not to be confused with Mariah’s “Sugar Sweet”), a mid-tempo jam that accuses her lover of being neglectful. Worse still, trying to rely only on words a.k.a. “sugar talking” instead of actions to prove his love to her. So it is that Carpenter goads, “Saying that you miss me/Boy, do you win a prize?/You’re havin’ these epiphanies/Big word for a real small mind/And aren’t you tired of saying a whole lot of nothing?” Within these lyrics, Carpenter repeats another long-running motif of hers at this point: calling men stupid, dumb, etc. (hear also: “Dumb and Poetic,” “Slim Pickins” and “Manchild”). While more “traditionalist” (read: misogynist) men would tell Carpenter she might “catch more dick with honey,” she isn’t one for mincing words, playing nice or compromising who she is for the sake of “maybe” “landing a man.” Because any man worth landing, as far as she’s concerned, is one who knows and accepts her for who she really is: sardonic, sassy and salacious. Unfortunately, as she’s already mentioned, “it’s slim pickins” in terms of finding a man who doesn’t want a robotic twig as a girlfriend. 

    Even the man claiming he’s “all about” Carpenter in this song. But no, as she calls out, “You tell me that you want me/But, baby, if you need me/Put your loving where your mouth is [yes, a sexual innuendo, as is always to be expected from Carpenter]/Your sugar talking isn’t working tonight, oh/Say you’re a big changed man, I doubt it/Yeah, your paragraphs mean shit to me/Get your sorry ass to mine.” With these feelings in mind, it’s a natural fit for her to transition into “We Almost Broke Up Again Last Night.”

    The song with the slowest tempo on the album thus far, it’s a resigned ballad tinged with dry humor. Though there’s still plenty of “wetness” for Carpenter to have as she talks about the kind of make-up sex that keeps leading her to repeat the vicious cycle of staying with a man she knows is no good for her. And yet, every time she tries to end it, it’s like he can sense her attempt to break up with him, so he starts acting right. This described by Carpenter as, “And when I reach to pull the plug I swear, it starts working out/And on the days I’m a little much/That’s when I tell them how sweet he treats me/And how no other boys compete/I know how it looks, I know how it sounds/Least will give ‘em something to talk about.” Considering Carpenter’s country proclivities of late, that last line surely as to be a Bonnie Raitt allusion. And when Raitt suggested that thing she ought to give people to talk about, it was “love.” Carpenter is much the same, even if the kind of love she talks about is botched, unrequited or generally fucked up. 

    Nowhere does this apply more than on one of the most standout tracks on Man’s Best Friend, “Nobody’s Son,” a jaunty, up-tempo track with a bittersweet undertone. For it’s a damning callout of a mother’s part in raising a son who doesn’t quite know how to treat another woman right. The blame for a man’s incompetencies (emotional or otherwise) on his mother also comes up in “Manchild,” when Carpenter sings, “Why so sexy if so dumb?/And how survive the Earth so long?/If I’m not there, it won’t get done/I choose to blame your mom.” As she continues to on “Nobody’s Son,” bemoaning on the song’s indelible bridge, “That boy is corrupt/Could you raise him to love me, maybe?/He sure fucked me up/And, yes, I’m talking ‘bout your baby/That boy is corrupt/Get PTSD on the daily/He sure fucked me up/And, yes, I’m talking ‘bout your baby.” The “precious” baby that can do no wrong in Mother’s eyes. Because, from her point of view, it’s always “that slutty bitch” who did wrong. 

    After having already expressed so much contempt for men just halfway through the album, it’s no wonder Carpenter would offer up a song called “Never Getting Laid.” Except, contrary to what the title might suggest to the person who hasn’t yet heard it, Carpenter is merely wishing her ex “a forever of never getting laid.” Indeed, it’s difficult not to imagine she’s speaking directly to Keoghan when she sends these “well wishes.” 

    Either way, Carpenter tells the tale of a love turned cold as she recounts, while speaking to her now ex, “No way to know just who you’re thinkin’ of/I just wish you didn’t have a mind/That could flip like a switch/That could wander and drift/To a neighboring bitch/When just the other night/You said you need me, what gives?/How did it come to this?/Boy, I know where you live.” Carpenter then engages in some of her most venomous (but, again, chirpy) sarcasm yet as she says, “Us girls are fun but stressful, am I right?/And you got a right hand anyway.” So, in essence, she’s imagining he might as well “jack off to lyrics by Leonard Cohen” since he “can’t deal” with the so-called pressure of being with her. 

    In spite of the ire she conveys on “Never Getting Laid,” Carpenter does what she warned about on Short n’ Sweet’s “Good Graces”: “I’ll switch it up like that, so fast.” And what she switches up to is having a newfound appreciation for men on “When Did You Get Hot?” With its sweltering, 90s-esque sound that’s most prominent during the intro, Carpenter talks of being in a desert, so to speak, as she oozes horniness in the verse, “So long, untouched/Bone dry, not a plant can grow/‘Bout time I get back on the horse to the rodeo.” A fair share of metaphors in a short span, indicating her sensory overload as she walks into a “prospect convention” (which sounds better than Lana Del Rey’s “Men in Music Business Conference”). It’s there that she encounters “Devin,” a guy she doesn’t remember being so fine, hence her stimulation overload in the chorus, “And I was like [said in a very Mariah on “Obsessed” way], ‘Huh’/When did you get hot all the sudden? I could look you up and down all day/When did you get hot?/I think I would remember if you had that face/I did a double take, triple take/Take me to naked Twister back at your place/Baby, baby, mmm, it’s thickening the plot/When did you get hot?”

    “Devin” doesn’t seem to last very long, however, as indicated by the drunk dialing anthem that is “Go Go Juice.” And yes, it is refreshing to hear from a Gen Zer that actually drinks “good old-fashioned” alcohol to the point of getting so drunk she starts making a telephonic fool of herself. But then, Carpenter reveals herself to be an even “older soul” by the fact that she would deign to use a phone for its original purpose in the first place: making a call. Because no, this ain’t a track about drunk texting—it’s all about “dialing” (a.k.a. choosing an arbitrary contact in her phone) and talking. And, like some of the best “I’m a drunk fool” songs, this one’s decidedly country too, with Carpenter belting out in her “down-home” twang (and an accompanying fiddle breakdown), “I’m just drinkin’ to call someone/Ain’t nobody safe when I’m a little bit drunk/Could be John or Larry, gosh, who’s to say?/Or the one that rhymes with ‘villain’ if I’m feelin’ that way/Oh, I’m just drinking to call someone/A girl who knows her liquor is a girl who’s been dumped/Sippin’ on my go go juice, I can’t be blamed/Some good old-fashioned fun sure numbs the pain.” It sure does, and thankfully Carpenter is here to school her generation on the merits of liquor. 

    She’s also here to teach men that, just because she can be endlessly hurt and irritated by them, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how to keep them wrapped around her finger and outplay them on mind games any day of the week. Hence, “Don’t Worry I’ll Make You Worry,” the last track she wrote for the album (though not the last track on the record). During which she forebodingly “assures,” “So don’t worry/I’ll make you worry like no other girl can/So don’t worry/Damn sure I’ll never let you know where you stand.” And, even despite the sex with him being “annoyingly good,” Carpenter still won’t give in to fully acknowledging what the “status” of the relationship is to the one whose head she’s fucking with. So well, in fact, that apparently even the man’s mother can’t talk sense into him as Carpenter taunts, “And your mother even agrees/That emotional lottery is all you’ll ever get with me.” Since bringing a man’s mother into things is her bread and butter of late. 

    As is upping the ante on her sexual metaphors, achieving a new apex on “House Tour” (though she ironically declares, “And I promise none of this is a metaphor”). With its ultra 80s sound, it’s no surprise that Jack Antonoff is a co-producer on the song. And, clearly, he must have been inspired by early era Janet Jackson, with the hopped-up tempo punctuating Carpenter’s flurry of analogies. Mainly, referring to her body as a house a.k.a. “being built like one” (for there’s a reason The Commodores once said, “She’s a brick house”). Thus, such lyrics as, “House tour/Yeah, I spent a little fortune on the waxed floors [read: waxing her vag]/We can be a little reckless ‘cause it’s insured [a.k.a. she’s on birth control]/I’m pleasured to be your hot tour guide/Baby, what’s mine is now yours.” 

    That “mi casa es su casa” vibe quickly changes yet again on the album’s appropriately titled finale, “Goodbye” (unless one has the bonus track edition, which concludes with “Such A Funny Way”). And yes, Spanish is one of the languages Carpenter uses for her kiss-off to a boy that dared to break up with her and then tried to come crawling back after realizing the error of his ways. But no, the rule, as far as Carpenter and every other girl with self-respect is concerned is this: “Goodbye means that you’re losing me for life/Can’t call it love, then call it quits/Can’t shoot me down, then shoot the shit/Did you forget that it was you who said goodbye?/So you don’t get to be the one who cries/Can’t have your cake and eat it too/By walking out, that means you choose goodbye.” 

    Regardless of her appalled anger, Carpenter still retains her condescending politesse when she ends the track with, “Goodbye/Get home safe.” Because there’s no more tour of her “house” for him to be had. In fact, she likely realized she would get more trust and dependability out of a dog. Deemed to be “man’s” best friend, though, in truth, there is no finer companion a woman could ask for (in contrast, a woman really can be a man’s best friend when she’s treated well). Because it is she who is looking for the kind of unwavering loyalty and devotion that, these days, only a canine can give. As for the original album cover (before all the alternate versions started trickling in), featuring Carpenter in her own “dog-like” pose, it’s intent isn’t necessarily to “scandalize” “feminists,” so much as demarcate the lengths that a girl is willing to go just to get a dram of love and affection from an otherwise blasé straight man. With women still foolishly adhering to the Morrissey aphorism, “The more you ignore me, the closer I get.” 

    Carpenter can find the comedy in her pain, obviously, remarking of her most “man-hating” record yet“It’s a real party for heartbreak, a celebration of disappointment! It’s laughing at yourself and your poor choices as everything is falling apart, it’s wondering how loyalty and love always gets you back to third-wheeling, spoken sarcastically like a true 25-year old!” Or even a true twenty-five-year-old still trapped in an older woman’s body. 

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    Genna Rivieccio

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