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Tag: Rituals

  • Ditch the Holiday Stress and Reconnect

    Holidays can be stressful. There may be unrealistically high expectations for the holiday season. People often carry idealized images of what the holidays should look like—magic, harmony, beauty. When reality doesn’t match those expectations, you may feel disappointed.

    Causes of holiday stress

    The holiday season layers multiple stressors simultaneously:

    • Financial pressure (gifts, travel, hosting)
    • Rushed schedules
    • Increased workload before time off
    • Sleep disruptions
    • Family conflict or grief resurfacing

    When individual internal stress is high, couples have fewer emotional resources to stay patient and connected.

    Specific Holiday Couples Stress

    With holidays being busy and emotional, couples often:

    • Avoid conversations to ‘keep the peace’
    • Don’t voice their needs (to avoid disappointing a partner)
    • Argue about logistics instead of underlying emotions
    • Raise issues during high-stress moments 

    These patterns can lead to more fights, more withdrawal, or feeling unsupported. So instead let’s be proactive and use the holiday season as an opportunity to strengthen connection with loved ones. 

    Tips to Create Holiday Connection

    Here are some intentional strategies that can bring couples closer together.

    Team Up for Challenging Events

    Create a strategy before you go in. Talk about potential stressors e.g. challenging relatives. Discuss what support looks like for each of you.

    Have each other’s backs

    No matter what the conversation or situation, agree to be on your partner’s side. You can use subtle ways to show solidarity, and do not side against your partner. If tensions get high or conversations heated, agree to disengage from it and turn towards one another.

    Share a ‘cast of characters’ preview

    Give each other a rundown of who’s who and any sensitive topics to avoid when heading into a social gathering or meeting extended family.

    Agree on a signal or code word

    When there are awkward or uncomfortable interactions, agree to partner as an ally for one another. Plan a discreet way to exit an uncomfortable conversation or leave when needed.

    Stay connected during the event

    Don’t leave each other for too long without checking in, Share a moment of connection or affection throughout the event.

    Understand Each Other Through Family Interactions

    Holiday gatherings provide an opportunity to better understand how family shaped your partner into the person they are today. Old family dynamics can resurface when visiting family. Old roles can be reactivated, and people may revert to childhood patterns. This might confuse or frustrate their partner, but it can serve as an important opportunity to better understand them by learning about the family they came from. Observing dynamics among family members can reveal values, traditions, and emotional history.

    Approaching family visits with curiosity

    Ask questions if you don’t understand something you see. Ask with curiosity vs judgement. Talk to your partner about how you can support one another in potentially triggering environments. Make sure to debrief afterwards.

    Build Your Own Holiday Rituals

    It is important to develop your own holiday rituals even as you participate in already established ones. Your holidays don’t have to look like anyone else’s. Some of the most meaningful traditions are the ones couples create together—intentionally, thoughtfully, and in ways that reflect who they are today. Building your own rituals gives you a chance to slow down, connect, and infuse the season with shared meaning. When you design traditions that genuinely fit your relationship, you turn the holiday season into something that restores you both. 

    Why personalized rituals matter

    They create meaning, stability, and a sense of “us.” Here are some examples of rituals to try:

    • Morning traditions, gift-opening rituals, shared gratitude practices, or end-of-year reflections.

    Identify what matters most. Maybe it’s rest, downtime, connection, traditions, and/or boundaries. Make your decisions with these priorities in mind.

    Choose activities that energize rather than drain. Say yes strategically and no intentionally. Plan shared moments of joy to balance the intensity of family time.

    Protect your well-being as a couple by creating space for quiet moments, intimacy, and regrouping.

    The holidays don’t have to be overwhelming. They can be a chance to grow closer as a couple. Release the pressure to create something spectacular—choose to engage in the traditions that genuinely bring you joy, and craft your own rituals to make the season feel meaningful for both of you. This is a wonderful opportunity to practice being unified. Use this time to strengthen your sense of partnership and to remember you’re on the same team!

    Kendra Han

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  • Candlelight vigil, memorials honor fallen officer

    HAVERHILL — Friends, family members and fellow officers will gather over the glow of candlelight this weekend to remember and honor a sister in arms and public servant who died suddenly last week.

    A candlelight vigil will be held at 6 p.m. on Saturday at the Haverhill Police Department, 40 Bailey Blvd., where community members will mourn Haverhill police officer Katelyn Tully, 32, who died unexpectedly Sept. 26.


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    By Jonah Frangiosa | Staff Writer

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  • Peabody teen killed in motorcycle crash

    PEABODY — The family of a teenager killed in a motorcycle crash last week is remembering him as a “young man full of life, loved by all who knew him.”

    Around 7:30 p.m. on July 14, Leonardo Do Nascimento, 19, of Peabody, was struck by a car while riding his motorcycle down Walnut Street near the intersection with Fulton Street. He was pronounced dead at Salem Hospital shortly after and identified by the Essex County District Attorney’s Office over the weekend.


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    By Caroline Enos | Staff Writer

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  • The Immovable Mind: Schopenhauer’s Daily Routine For 27 Years

    The Immovable Mind: Schopenhauer’s Daily Routine For 27 Years


    What does the daily life of a legendary philosopher look like? Learn about Arthur Schopenhauer’s unique routine that he consistently followed for over 27 years.


    Arthur Schopenhauer was a major figure in German philosophy throughout the 19th century along with Friedrich Nietzsche and Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.

    While he’s known for his pessimism and negative outlook on life, there’s no denying that Schopenhauer was an intellectual powerhouse of his time who influenced many great thinkers, philosophers, and artists long after his death.

    His book Essays and Aphorisms is a great introduction and overview of his philosophical ideas. It explains his core metaphysical belief of “world as appearance,” continuing the legacy of other idealist philosophers like Plato, Kant, and Indian philosophy, which warn about viewing the world strictly through a materialist lens.

    The beginning of the book provides a nice biography of Schopenhauer’s family background, education, and life history. There’s one interesting section on his daily routine that caught my attention and wanted to share; it’s always fascinating to gain insights into the habits and lifestyles of influential figures, especially potential role models we can emulate and borrow from.

    This specific routine characterizes the last third of Schopenhauer’s life:

      “From the age of 45 until his death 27 years later Schopenhauer lived in Frankfurt-am-Main. He lived alone… every day for 27 years he followed an identical routine.”

    Keep in mind, I’m only sharing this for educational purposes. I don’t necessarily recommend this way of living, but there are interesting lessons to takeaway from it, including how some of these habits relate to Schopenhauer’s overall philosophy.

    Arthur Schopenhauer’s Daily Routine

    Here’s a breakdown of Schopenhauer’s daily routine for the last 27 years of his life:

    • “He rose every morning at seven and had a bath but no breakfast;
    • He drank a cup of strong coffee before sitting down at his desk and writing until noon.
    • At noon he ceased work for the day and spent half-an-hour practicing the flute, on which he became quite a skilled performer.
    • Then he went out to lunch at the Englischer Hof.
    • After lunch he returned home and read until four, when he left for his daily walk:
    • He walked for two hours no matter what the weather.
    • At six o’clock, he visited the reading room of the library and read The Times.
    • In the evening he attended the theatre or a concert, after which he had dinner at a hotel or restaurant.
    • He got back home between nine and ten and went early to bed.”

    While Schopenhauer mostly kept to this strict routine unwaveringly, he was willing to make exceptions under specials circumstances such as if he had friends or visitors in town.

    Key Lessons and Takeaways

    This daily routine seems fitting for a solitary and introspective philosopher, but there are key lessons that fit with conventional self-improvement wisdom:

    • Early Rising: Schopenhauer started his day at 7 a.m., which aligns with the common advice of many successful individuals who advocate for early rising. This morning ritual is often associated with increased productivity and a sense of discipline.
    • No Breakfast: Skipping breakfast was part of Schopenhauer’s routine. While not everyone agrees with this approach, it resonates with intermittent fasting principles that some find beneficial for health and mental clarity.
    • Work Routine: Schopenhauer dedicated his mornings to work, writing until noon. This emphasizes the importance of having a focused and dedicated period for intellectual or creative work, especially early in the day.
    • Creative Break: Taking a break to practice the flute for half an hour after work highlights the value of incorporating creative or leisure activities into one’s routine. It can serve as a refreshing break and contribute to overall well-being.
    • Outdoor Exercise: Schopenhauer’s daily two-hour walk, regardless of the weather, emphasizes the significance of outdoor exercise for both physical and mental health. This practice aligns with contemporary views on the benefits of regular physical activity and spending time in nature.
    • Reading Habit: Schopenhauer spent time reading each day, reflecting his commitment to continuous learning and intellectual stimulation.
    • News Consumption: Reading The Times at the library suggests Schopenhauer valued staying informed about current events. It’s worth noting that he limited his news consumption to a specific time of day (but it was easier to restrict your information diet before the internet).
    • Cultural Engagement: Attending the theater or a concert in the evening indicates a commitment to cultural engagement and a balanced lifestyle.
    • Regular Bedtime: Going to bed early reflects an understanding of the importance of sufficient sleep for overall health and well-being.

    While Schopenhauer’s routine may not be suitable for everyone, there are elements of discipline, balance, and engagement with various aspects of life that individuals may find inspiring or applicable to their own lifestyles.

    The Immovable Mind

    Schopenhauer was known for his persistence and stubbornness – his consistent daily routine is just one manifestation of this.

    He wrote his magnum opus The World as Will and Representation in 1818 when he was only 28 years old, and he never fundamentally changed his views despite continuing to write and publish until his death at 72.

    Schopenhauer has been described as an “immovable mind,” never letting himself deviate from the course he was set out on.

    His two hour walk routine in any weather is one of the most popular examples of this. From the biography in the book:

      “Consider the daily two-hour walk. Among Schopenhauer’s disciples of the late nineteenth century this walk was celebrated fact of his biography, and it was so because of its regularity. There was speculation as to why he insisted on going out and staying out for two hours no matter what the weather. It suggests health fanaticism, but there is no other evidence that Schopenhauer was a health fanatic or crank. In my view the reason was simply obstinacy: he would go out and nothing would stop him.”

    While this immovability has its disadvantages, you have to admire the monk-like discipline.

    Schopenhauer was a proponent of ascetism, a life without pleasure-seeking and mindless indulgence. A lot of his philosophy centers around a type of “denouncement of the material world,” so it’s not surprising that a little rain and wind wouldn’t stop his daily walk.

    This way of living is reminiscent of the documentary Into Great Silence, which follows the daily lives of Carthusian monks living in the French mountains while they eat, clean, pray, and fulfill their chores and duties in quiet solitude.

    One of the hallmarks of a great routine is that it’s a sustainable system. The fact that Schopenhauer was able to follow this regimen for the rest of his life is a testament to its strength and efficacy, and something worth admiring even if it’s not a lifestyle we’d want to replicate for ourselves.


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    Steven Handel

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  • These Simple Winter Solstice Rituals Will Bring You Power During a Time of Darkness

    These Simple Winter Solstice Rituals Will Bring You Power During a Time of Darkness

    In the Northern Hemisphere, the winter solstice is an annual celebration of the longest and darkest night of the year that dates back as early as the fifth century. Let’s get back in touch with our ancestors and partake in one—or all—of these easy winter solstice rituals.

    This time of year is always a major turning point, as each day after the winter solstice brings more sunlight, which is why this celebration is also dubbed “the return of the sun”. The winter solstice marks the moment in which each of the earth’s poles are at their maximum tilt, and this year—on December 21 at exactly 4:47 pm ET—this will occur. In astrology, the winter and summer solstice always take place at the very moment  the sun enters a cardinal sign—Capricorn and Cancer respectively. And because cardinal signs are always motivators, movers and go-getters, the winter solstice can be a time of meaningful intention setting.

    In Pagan traditions, the winter solstice is also known as “Yule”. This celebration—which happens somewhere between December 20-23, depending on the year—is made up of rituals that focus on the energy of rebirth, transformation, creativity, new beginnings and the release of unwanted habits. Find some of these potent rituals and practices to help you celebrate the winter solstice and make the most of this monumental turning point!

    6 Simple Winter Solstice Rituals

    Winter Solstice Rituals
    Getty Images.

    Cleanse & Declutter Your Home

    As the winter solstice marks a switch from elongating nights into lengthening days, we want to make sure that we are equipped for the vibrant, free-flowing, and positive energy from the sun to reenter our life and our home. Remove any energetic blockages by cleaning out your home, room, closet, vehicle, photo albums, junk drawer, pantry, and anywhere else that you are accumulating stagnant energy with excess “things”. If there isn’t room for it, it has to go! This is the perfect time to donate, re-gift, and sell the things that are no longer needed and find them a new, aligned home.

    Winter Solstice Rituals
    Pexels. Tetyana Kovyrina.

    Decorate Trees With Treats

    The winter solstice is a perfect time to decorate a tree, big or small, for our animal friends that live outdoors. As there will be less time to hunt and forage, it would do birds, deer and squirrels well to find a tree decorated with seeds, nuts and apples. You can also bake orange slices and animal-friendly cookies to place upon your offering tree.

    Setting Intentions Winter Solstice Rituals
    Pexels. Rachel Claire.

    Set Your Winter Intentions

    Our next solstice celebration won’t be until the first day of Cancer season in June 2023, so allow yourself to take some time to rest, reflect, and write your intentions for the season of growing daylight that lies ahead. Lighting white or red candles, unplugging from technology, breaking out a journal and pen, and taking some time to write your intentions is a great way to honor this long night ahead.

    Yule Altar Winter Solstice
    Pexels. Rachel Claire.

    Set Up a Yule altar

    ‘Tis the season to decorate and bring joy into your home. Use seasonal berries, wreaths, garland, candles, oranges, apples, pinecones, crystals, golden discs to call forth the sunlight, and any other meaningful memorabilia that you have to honor this new season ahead.

    Yule Wreath Winter Solstice
    Photo: Getty Images.

    Decorate a Yule Wreath

    Speaking of wreaths, why not decorate one of your own? Take an evergreen wreath to bring peace and prosperity into your home. Wrap your wreath with natural elements like fir, pine, cedar, yew, holly, mistletoe, juniper, and ivy. It is said in Paganism that pine will bring forth healing, mistletoe brings fertility and love, yew directly aligns to the season of rebirth and transformation, and holly can protect you and your home from negative energy. Once these have all been wound together, you can start to add your own magical touches like small ornaments, winterberries, baby’s breath, and more to bring it all together and make it uniquely yours. Once complete, hang on your front door to commemorate your solstice celebration and encourage others to do the same!

    Yule Feast Winter Solstice Rituals
    Pexels. Tim Douglas.

    Host or Attend a Yule Feast

    Dating back to the fifth century (that’s over 1,500 years ago!) villagers would come together to celebrate the winter solstice with a Yule feast. The practice of feasting before the longest night of the year was meant to make sure that everyone would be able to weather their long, cold sleep. Cooking seasonal produce, filling your home with the scent of spices and herbs, and bringing together loved ones is a way to warm the heart, home, and belly on the solstice. And if you followed step 1, each attendee could bring one of their de-cluttered and re-gifted items wrapped up to have a Yule swap! Encourage one another to dress warmly and cozily to encourage the sensation of the season that is upon us.

    Together, we will cheers to a bountiful season and many warmer, longer days ahead of us. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to celebrate, but I encourage you to welcome the feeling of celebration into your life, your home, and your heart as often as possible.

    Zodiac Signs Travel | Culture Issue 2022

    Bella Gerard

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  • I Cast a Love Spell With Salem’s Love Witch & Here’s What Happened

    I Cast a Love Spell With Salem’s Love Witch & Here’s What Happened

    While visiting Salem, Mass. last fall I knew I wanted to have as many witchy experiences as possible. The most profound experience I had in The City of Witches was casting a love spell with love clairvoyant Lorelei Stathopoulos. In the spooky city, I went all in: I had a tarot reading with a Witch High Priestess; toured the Witch Mansion; visited the Witch Dungeon Museum; dressed up as a witch for a photoshoot; saw live-action performances about the 1692 Salem Witch Trials; and saw iconic Hocus Pocus sites. But nothing compared to what happened during my visit with Lorelai.

    You may recognize her from Season 19 of The Bachelorette back in 2022. Stathopoulos recalls thinking in 2019 that someday she’d be on The Bachelorette. “I needed to help them. They’re letting these guys walk all over them but they’re goddesses,” she says. Stathopoulos had forgotten about the vision and a few years later, she received the call asking her to do the apple love spell: “I said it’s about time you guys called me.”

    On the episode of Aven’s hometown date with Rachel, Stathopoulos casts a love spell using an ordinary pantry staple—an apple! It’s one of her oldest and most popular spells. She could tell that Aven was scared and she told Rachel not to settle. “Aven ends up getting scared and doesn’t propose, so she dumps him and goes to this other guy that she settled for. Two months later, she catches him cheating and ends up with the original guy we did the apple spell with,” Stathopoulus says.

    Stathopoulos comes from a long line of mystical practitioners and she oversees Crow Haven Corner, the oldest witch shop in Salem, which was also the first witch shop in the U.S. I paid Stathopoulos a visit under the new moon with a dream of pure love in my heart. She sat me down in front of a shiny red apple that had been cleaned and polished. “Put your energy into it from the beginning to the end—from lighting the candle to doing the spell. That’s what makes magic work,” Stathopoulos instructed. “The first thing about love magic is we have to love ourselves. Take a bite of the apple for self-love before you start the love spell.”

    Since I was casting a generic spell without a specific person in mind, we skipped the step of carving the name of the object of my desire into the apple. If you’re casting the spell on a specific person, carve your name into one side of the candle and your potential lover’s name on the other side.

    As per Stathopoulos’ instructions, the love spell should be cast three days before the new moon. “We’re going to call in the New Moon magic and call in the Venus goddess of love, love for yourself, and love to come,” Stathopoulos says.

    She poured honey inside the apple along with rose quartz, coriander seeds, rose petals, and strawberry leaves. According to Stathopoulos, rose quartz is for self-love, rose petals and strawberry leaves are to attract love, and coriander seeds are for wealth. “We all need money. Money is power. We need it to do kind things,” she says.

    To cast the love spell, you’ll need a pink candle (the color associated with true love in candle magic, while red is for lust). Place the candle in the apple and light it while chanting Stathopoulos’ love spell. The enchantment calls for a soulmate who will offer protection, provide love, and be full of light. And then she says to “fuggedaboutit,” in true East Coast fashion.

    While you could gather the magical ingredients to conduct Stathopoulos’ love spell, it’s best to buy the spell kit from Crown Haven Corner that’s been magically charged by the Love Clairvoyant herself. Initially, I felt that casting the spell in person was fruitful for me. A few months later, I had forgotten about casting the spell and started a new relationship. He confessed that everything had been so magical he felt like a love spell had been cast on him. I admitted I had cast a love spell and we both agreed it helped bring us together.

    Stathopoulos gave me a love spell candle to take home and it included instructions to light it with my new love one day. We burned it together and chanted the spell, which was meant to enhance our love. While traveling abroad and spending two months away from the candle, our relationship imploded. Ultimately, he didn’t live up to the enchantments requirement of true love, but I’m still hopeful the goddess Venus will bless me with my soulmate.

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  • 24 Gift-Worthy Candles That Most Definitely Spark Joy

    24 Gift-Worthy Candles That Most Definitely Spark Joy

    We know it’s hard to find the right gifts for your loved ones, so we’ve compiled a ton of fashion and beauty-focused gift guides tailored to a range of interests and budgets. Check out our latest below and find more right here.

    A candle may not immediately seem like the most creative holiday gift option — cue “Saturday Night Live”‘s peach candle song (a tragically under-appreciated sketch). But just because something is a bit cliché doesn’t mean it’s not also a classic and a crowd pleaser. It’s just about finding the right scent and vibe for the giftee.

    Stephanie Saltzman

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