A woman has gone viral after her Kroger-based rant didn’t land exactly as she expected it to. In the clip, which has amassed 1.3 million views, Keiosha (@keiosha016) shops in Kroger alongside her husband and baby.
“You would not believe the audacity some people have,” she begins.
The TikToker then explains how she was shopping with her husband when a woman asked him to reach something for her from the top shelf.
“I look at them. I look at him. He looks at me. He said, ‘Boo!’ The fact that he knew he needed permission, and the fact that they thought they could just ask him, and he was gonna move for them, the audacity,” she said.
Keiosha continued, “If you are in the store, married or single by yourself, and you need help, and you notice that the man that you got to ask help from is with a woman, he correct thing to say is, ‘Excuse me, ma’am, is it OK if your husband can help me get something from the shelf?””
She then claimed that, by asking him, the shopper put her husband in a “weird situation.”
“He didn’t flinch, he didn’t move. He looked at me, ‘Boo,’ and we both knew what that ‘Boo’ meant, so… But have a good day,” she said.
However, commenters didn’t agree with the TikToker’s approach.
“Both of yall goofy!” one wrote. “And you bored. This the highlight of your goofy ass day.”
“May my self-esteem never get this low,” another added. While a third quipped: “You definitely pay every bill.”
A fourth remarked that “this level of insecurity is so unhealthy,” while a fifth concurred: “He was scared because he know you insecure.”
Elsewhere, a sixth asked whether it’s “really that serious,” to which Keiosha replied, “It may not be to some, but to us…. it’s EVERYTHING! We respect each other and create boundaries for others.”
Several other commenters also mocked Keiosha and her husband’s appearance.
Keiosha didn’t immediately respond to The Mary Sue’s request for comment via TikTok comment.
Other TikTokers shared their takes
Keiosha soon became immortalized as the ‘Kroger lady,’ with several TikTokers stitching or otherwise posting their hot takes on her situation.
“I pray that I never be or become that insecure,” TikToker Danni (@dannirokz) said. “If I’m with my husband in a store and somebody comes up and says, ‘Oh, can you reach that?’ He doesn’t got to look at me Good. That’s the kind of man I know he is. I know he’s gonna help. You know, you need to reach it. Like, that’s fine. That’s the kind of man he was raised to be.”
“If his mama found out he didn’t help and it was that, it would be a problem. No,” they continued. “But you thought people were gonna agree with you. And now they’re chewing you up. And, you know? I’m kind of with them.”
In her own video, fellow TikTok user Candi (@candi3_commentary) added, “Lady, you know how goddamn insecure you have to be? Nobody wants your man but you: it’s a box of cereal. It’s just like a given rule that when someone is taller, they assist people. It’s just called being. A nice person. It has nothing to do with wanting your man. Y’all gotta stop.”
Some defend her
However, not all TikTokers disagreed with Keiosha. Some, like Hailey (@haileystel), adopted a middle ground.
“All I know is that, if I’m in the grocery store with my man, and someone taps me on the shoulder and says, ‘Ma’am, is it OK if your man helps me get something off that top shelf?’ Why the [expletive] are you asking me? You don’t see this grown-[expletive] man standing right next to me? Do I look like his mother? His caregiver? His timekeeper? No. I barely know that I’m at a grocery store, OK? I blindly follow wherever that man leads.”
“If you do ask my man, and he declines and says that he cannot help you, we still gonna have a problem,” she added. “Because why are you not helping this lady get something off the higher shelf at the grocery store?”
However, at the same time, she noted how “that man knew that if he did not acknowledge his wife when that lady acknowledged him, that it was going to be a problem. He knows his wife. He knows the boundaries that she has and that’s OK.”
Danni, Candi, and Hailey didn’t immediately respond to The Mary Sue’s request for comment via TikTok comment.
Charlotte is an internet culture writer with bylines in Insider, VICE, Glamour, The Independent, and more. She holds a Master’s degree in Magazine Journalism from City St George’s, University of London.
The holidays can be a stressful time—and if you’re planning to spend it with loved ones who have clashing political views, the prospect of getting into an argument can make things all the more anxiety-inducing.
There’s an old adage that advises people to avoid talking about politics altogether. And while that may be the best option to protect yourself in certain situations, experts tell TIME that sometimes, broaching the discussion could actually be good for people’s familial relationships.
“I would absolutely encourage people to have these conversations,” says Lynn Bufka, the American Psychological Association’s head of practice and a licensed clinical psychologist. “I think it’s one of the problems that we have in our country right now—that we’re not listening to people with perspectives different than ours.”
But she and Sarah Herstich—a licensed clinical social worker based in Horsham, Pennsylvania—both recommend keeping certain matters in mind if you’re going to have those discussions. Here’s their advice about how to have productive conversations with family members about politics over the holidays.
Consider where and when you’re going to have the conversation
Bufka suggests that people think about the best time and place to discuss the subject. Her recommendations: Avoid doing it when everybody has been drinking, for one thing. And consider having the conversation in a more private setting. Not everyone at the dinner table may want to talk about politics, she notes. Having the discussion around a lot of people could also make one person feel like they’re being ganged up on if their viewpoint puts them in the minority among the people present, which could make them defensive right off the bat.
“Do you have the conversation around the family dinner table, or do you go on a walk with somebody, move away from the crowd, so that you can both be, perhaps, a little more honest and vulnerable with what each person’s perspective is?” Bufka says.
“Sometimes,” she suggests, “it can be helpful to have hard conversations when you’re doing something together, like going on a walk or making cookies or something that you can share in an activity while you’re having the conversation.”
Try to understand their point of view or find common ground
Bufka encourages people to approach conversations about politics from the perspective of wanting to understand the other person’s point of view, rather than trying to convince them to change their mind.
“If you’re willing to say, ‘I want to understand these people I care about, and what’s why I want to have the conversation,’ then you’re setting yourself to be far more successful,” she says. There’s “no guarantee that your conversation partner is going to be coming at it the same way, and maybe you need to introduce that and say, ‘I know we don’t see eye to eye on X, and it might be scary for us to talk about it, but I’d like to try.’”
And even if you and your loved one disagree on political issues, remember that there may be some common ground, experts urge. Both parties may want to see the economy grow, for instance, but disagree on what that looks like or how to get there, Bufka says. Finding that common ground could help bridge the distance between them.
“If it’s someone you really care about, remembering that there’s likely some common ground, some common value that you can come back to,” Herstich says. “I think so often, we’re all so polarized that we forget that we can be in a relationship with people that believe different things.”
That common ground, she says, may simply be that you both value your relationship and don’t want to lose it. Just reminding yourself of that could help ease some tension in the conversation.
Don’t directly attack them
Conversations about politics can become heated, but Bufka recommends avoiding insulting or disrespecting the person you’re talking to. Don’t say things like “you’re an idiot” or “you’re stupid,” or even “how could you ever have that point of view?”, she says. Comments like that aren’t going to help you move towards a place of understanding.
“If you’re disrespecting the person, you’re not really improving your relationship with them, and you’re very unlikely to be moving towards any shared understanding or a possibility of understanding their perspective,” Bufka says. “It’s also not, as adults, what we want to teach the kids around us—that the way to communicate with people is that we disrespect them.”
Set boundaries, and know when to end the conversation
The conversation may reach a point when you and the people you’re talking with have to agree to disagree. Bufka and Herstich recommend establishing that boundary, and knowing when to end the discussion and respectfully walk away. And if you anticipate the conversation is going to be really challenging, you may want to plan an out. Herstich suggests that if the discussion becomes too difficult, people could say “I have to take a little break” or change the subject to something that’s less tense. The most important thing to keep in mind if you’re having this type of conversation is “maintaining your integrity and maintaining safety within the relationship,” Herstich says.
In certain cases, it may be too hard to have the conversation at all. Both Bufka and Herstich say that some people may experience real risks in engaging in these discussions—for instance, people who feel marginalized in the current political climate and don’t feel safe around their families.
“It really depends on the person—it depends on the dynamic and the family, and if politics are a part of the regular conversation,” Herstich says. “If the trajectory is typically poor—if someone typically talks about politics with family and it goes south fast—then probably building boundaries around not talking about politics over the holidays can be a really supportive move.”
But, she says, “If you have a family dynamic where people are open and they don’t dehumanize one another and it can feel productive and people can feel heard, even if they disagree, then that’s a different story.”
Go easy on yourself
If you’re struggling because your family members hold different political beliefs and you feel that you have to restrict the time you spend with them because of it, Herstich recommends that you be kind to yourself.
“The grief in it is real—the grief of losing the relationship that you maybe hoped would be or that you even thought that you had,” she says. “Be really gentle with yourself.”
Rachel Dack, a licensed clinical professional relationship counselor based in Bethesda, Maryland said it starts with communication with your partner about what the ideal holiday season looks like.
Many new couples face a challenge in the holiday season — figuring out how to split time between their own family and their partner’s.
Rachel Dack, a licensed clinical professional relationship counselor based in Bethesda, Maryland, said it starts with communication with your partner about what the ideal holiday season looks like.
“Think about your relationship or your marriage as a clean slate, and then try to integrate whatever you want to bring in, and then also develop new holiday traditions as a couple,” Dack said.
That could look like merging past traditions and coming up with new ones.
“Digging deep and reflecting around what are your own values and what’s the meaning that you want to give to the holidays as a couple,” she said.
Even if there’s pressure from your families, she said to try to stay on the same page.
“Without sounding totally cold, and only coming from a place of being completely realistic, you are not responsible for everyone else’s feelings or holiday joy,” Dack said. “It’s going to be impossible to please everybody.”
Depending on the couple’s circumstances, hitting two homes in one day could do the trick, or rotating celebrations of Thanksgiving and winter holidays between sides of the family.
“If somebody is trying to keep score down to the second, that’s not going to work for anybody,” Dack said.
But sometimes, it could mean celebrating just the two of you.
“There’s a difference between spending time with your family or your partner’s family because it’s important to you and to each other, and not just doing that because it’s what’s been done before or it’s important to your extended family,” she said.
Outside of geographical constraints, Dack said to think about family dynamics, such as divorces, deaths or other factors that could play into holiday plans. When opening a conversation with your partner about holiday plans, she said to avoid talking negatively about their family.
“If you feel like the conversation is getting tense or your partner’s not listening or being defensive, then I think it’s important to acknowledge that for both of you, there’s compromise that goes into this, and it’s not going to look the same,” she said.
Whatever game plan is strategized, Dack said you should handle telling your own parents.
“It’s easy for families to paint the partner as the bad guy,” Dack said.
And when you break the news, she said to have a delicate and loving conversation with your family.
“Also validate that it’s hard for your parents not to see you on a certain holiday that you’ve always been together,” she said.
She recommended sharing your holiday plans well in advance.
“Don’t keep everybody hanging and feeling anxious to the last minute,” Dack said. “Make the plans in advance. If you’re going to travel, where are you going to stay? How long are you staying?”
It’s also normal to have growing pains when spending the holiday away from home.
“As excited as you are to spend a holiday with a partner, and a partner’s family, you might feel kind of sad about missing it with your own family,” she said. “Just know that that’s OK. But if you can focus on each other and making these new memories and shared experiences with your partner, I think it will also feel better.”
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2025 was truly the best year in pop music we’ve had in a while! It seems like artists are simply locking back into what makes a true pop song and mastering that art. Narrowing this list down to simply 25 songs was quite the challenge, but we think this list is the best of the best throughout all facets of pop music! From Olivia Dean and Chappell Roan to Greyson Chance and so many more, let’s jump in!
Taylor Swift – ‘The Fate of Ophelia’
There is no way to talk about the great pop resurgence of 2025 without highlighting The Life of a Showgirl by Taylor Swift. For us, the entire album is full of examples of a true-to-form pop song, but we had to choose to highlight ‘The Fate of Ophelia’ due to it being inescapable since its release. This song is pure ear candy, and will get stuck in your head for hours even after just hearing a few seconds.
Olivia Dean – ‘Man I Need’
Olivia Dean is taking the pop music world by storm with ‘Man I Need,’ and to us that makes perfect sense. In anyone else’s discography, ‘Man I Need’ would be an easy career highlight, and yet, it’s one of many songs on Olivia’s most recent album, The Art of Loving, that blew us away upon the first listen and could have easily taken this spot.
Sabrina Carpenter – ‘House Tour’
Man’s Best Friend is stacked top to bottom with pop gold, but after listening back through the album, ‘House Tour’ had to be our choice! Everything from that infectious chorus to the “my house is on pretty girl avenue” line made this one of those songs that will soundtrack nights out for us through the foreseeable future.
Jonas Brothers – ‘Love Me To Heaven’
The Jonas Brothers have been experts at the pop music game since Nick first uttered the words ‘red dress’ back in 2008, so it’s no surprise to us that they are only getting better and better 17 years later. Their newest record, Greetings From Your Hometown, had an obvious stand-out to us the first time we listened, and that was ‘Love Me To Heaven.’
Audrey Hobert – ‘Phoebe’
Who’s The Clown?by Audrey Hobert was truly on an endless loop here at THP! Upon first listen, it was automatically clear that we were witnessing the artistic birth of someone who had a crystal clear understanding of how to bring themselves through in the music, be specific while staying relatable, and develop a sound that was particularly hers. We could have easily put any song from the album here, but ‘Phoebe’ is a forever favorite of ours!
Greyson Chance – ‘Waiting Outside The Lines ‘25’
No, we are not trying to transport you back to 2011, but there is so much beauty in taking a certified nostalgia-packed hit and reimagining it with years of life lived and heightened vocal ability to back it up. We can’t help but have a permanent smile on our face listening to this track and diving into Greyson’s current catalog (which everyone should do themselves the favor of doing)!
Jensen McRae – ‘Novelty’
If you asked us what album impacted us the most this year, one of the easiest answers would be I Don’t Know How But They Found Me!Anyone who has dived into Jensen’s discography knows what a savant she is. Her relationship to her pen is one of one, and this album may be the best example of that in her discography so far. ‘Novelty’ is the song that immediately jumps out at us as a must-listen.
Lady Gaga – ‘How Bad Do U Want Me’
Lady Gaga is synonymous with pop music at this point. She has always had the skill on lock, and in many ways, has influenced so much of what the modern genre looks like. MAYHEM was a true return to form for Lady Gaga, and showed that her knowledge and talent with the pop music world has never faltered. ‘How Bad Do U Want Me’ is an instant smash and is still on repeat.
5 Seconds of Summer – ‘NOT OK’
We will forever preach our love for 5 Seconds of Summer and how they get better with every release! (If you didn’t know, this band is literally why THP exists!) EVERYONE’S A STARcame out just over a month ago and is the band’s most ambitious, larger-than-life project yet. But of course, every element was nailed perfectly. Each of the guys has so many standout moments, but there are even more moments when it is so clear why they continue to make music together: everything flows seamlessly.
Sadie Jean – ‘She’s Dating My Boyfriend’
Sadie Jean is the exact singer-songwriter your playlist is in need of, and we had to highlight a track off her debut album, Early Twenties Torture! Every song on this record feels like Sadie had a insider’s look at our deepest thoughts and struggles, was able to turn them poetic, and then put them to music. That skill of relatability is rare. ‘She’s Dating My Boyfriend’ is our favorite example of that peek inside our minds.
Laufey – ‘Lover Girl’
Laufey has seamlessly blended the worlds of pop and jazz music and made a fusion that leaves us regularly at a loss for words. A Matter of Time is Laufey’s most recent album. And upon our first listen, it was clear that this is a generational album, one of those records where anyone who gives it a chance will fall in love with it. ‘Lover Girl’ is our favorite song off the record, so we had to highlight it!
Amber Mark – ‘Let Me Love You’
Amber Mark is the pop star you’ve been looking to add to your playlists! If you’re a fan of artists like Sabrina Carpenter and Olivia Dean, Amber’s album, Pretty Idea, and specifically our favorite track, ‘Let Me Love You,’ is going to be right up your alley! We are predicting that 2026 is going to be a huge year for Amber! And with music of this quality, it makes complete sense!
Justin Bieber – ‘Yukon’
‘Yukon’ was one of our most-streamed songs of the year; it’s that serious to us! SWAG, for us, felt like Justin coming back into his own, making the music that feels true to form. With ‘Yukon,’ that infectious chorus we’ve come to know and love from Justin Bieber is the shining star, which definitely adds to why we are constantly playing this track on a loop.
Lydia Night – ‘The Bomb’
You may know Lydia Night from her time with the band The Regrettes, but trust us when we say she has turned into a full-blown solo pop star. Lydia released her debut album, Parody of Pleasure, back in August, and all thirteen songs are expertly crafted! ‘The Bomb’ has been a standout since we first dove into this album. The song is playful and reminiscent of early 2000s pop.
Role Model – ‘Sally, When The Wine Runs Out’
Obviously, ‘Sally, When The Wine Runs Out’ has taken the world by storm this year, so there was no way we weren’t going to give Role Model his flowers. We haven’t heard a chorus quite as infectious as ‘Sally, When The Wine Runs Out’ in quite a long time. It’s impossible not be in an instant good mood when it hits.
Myles Smith – ‘Stay (If You Wanna Dance)’
If you were as obsessed with Myles Smith’s ‘Stargazing’ as we were, then ‘Stay (If You Wanna Dance)’ is the perfect addition to your playlists! Myles is someone who you continue to find new things about his artistry to dig into with each listen.
Zara Larsson is a pop star in the truest sense of the word. Her entire album, Midnight Sun, is a pop masterclass, in which she’s the only person equipped to teach. When we first heard the title track ‘Midnight Sun,’ we knew that this was a whole new ball game in terms of pop music, and that we would take every opportunity to praise what Zara is doing with her artistry.
HAIM – ‘Relationships’
This song is pure ear candy and truly a discography highlight from one of our favorite trios! The chorus has serotonin woven into every line and lyric. And it makes us want to be out at night in the city with friends, dancing to every word. Their most recent album, i quit, is chock-full of tracks where you will see these themes.
Conan Gray – ‘Vodka Cranberry’
Conan Gray was born to make the exact music he’s making right now. He releases such infectious pop tracks with lyrics that both feel true to self for Conan and still connect deeply with his audience. ‘Vodka Cranberry’ blew up this year, and to us, it only makes perfect sense. This is a solidified hit.
Tate McRae – ‘Sports Car’
If you didn’t know, Tate McRae is a name that we have been screaming from the rooftops since we got to interview her years ago (which you can read here!). Tate blends musicality with dance seamlessly to draw people into who she is as a musician. ‘Sports Car’ and its visual components showcase exactly why Tate has quickly become a household name.
Avery Cochrane – ‘Shapeshifting On A Saturday Night’
Hailing from Seattle, Avery Cohrane is bound to be the name you can’t escape this next year in pop music! This year, she released her track, ‘Shapeshifting on a Saturday Night,’ and blew us away with the established pop sound she was crafting. If you’re a fan of artists like Chappell Roan or Olivia Rodrigo, we think you will love Avery!
Addison Rae – ‘Headphones On’
It’s no secret that Addison Rae has had a massive year. From the success of ‘Diet Pepsi’ and her tour to her debut album, Addison, everything about her career so far has been the beginning of a pop star who will be talked about and celebrated for years to come. For Addison, pop is a true work of performance art, following in the footsteps of the likes of Britney Spears. ‘Headphones On’ off her debut album summarizes everything we love most about Addison as an artist.
Reneé Rapp – ‘I Think I Like You Better When You’re Gone’
We yell the chorus to ‘I Think I Like You Better When You’re Gone’ at truly astronomical levels. Everything about this track resonates with us. Something that Reneé Rapp never fails to do is draw the listener in and weave her story in a way that feels relatable to others. On top of the lyrical content of the song, Reneé’s vocals are otherworldly here.
Demi Lovato – ‘Joshua Tree’
The 2025 version of Demi Lovato is the only artist who could craft an album like It’s Not That Deep. This record is a amalgamation of someone who has gone through it all. Someone who has experienced hardships and heartache and is in the complete opposite space now. And a lot of it is backtracked with songs you want to be in the club dancing to. That’s the duality of pop and of Demi, and it’s beautiful. To us, ‘Joshua Tree’ best represents the album as a whole.
Chappell Roan – ‘The Subway’
Ending our best 2025 pop songs with one that is still inescapable like ‘The Subway’ only felt right. Chappell Roan is a once-in-a-lifetime artist. She creates with such intention and really takes her time with each project, which comes through in the music. ‘The Subway’ will be looked at years from now as one of the great songs of the decade.
We would love to hear from you! What is your favorite pop song of 2025? Is it something off the new Taylor Swift album? Maybe a Conan Gray song? Or an Olivia Dean song? Let us know by commenting below or by tweeting @TheHoneyPOP! We are also on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok!
Nothing perks a barista up like overhearing relationship drama served hot with a side of audacity. An Oklahoma coffee shop employee is going viral after eavesdropping on a man who spent an entire hour venting to a random woman about his “nightmare fiancée.”
You read it right, fiancée. As in, he’s still engaged. Praise the universe for good Samaritans. The barista ran straight to TikTok mid-shift with a public service announcement aimed straight at the mystery fiancée. Maybe the man had every right to complain…but why do it to a woman you just met at a coffee shop?
The Drama Overheard
There are currently 135,000 views on the clip, with many invested in the gossip. TikToker Madi @mysupertopsecretspamacc posted a 15-second clip from what looks like the backroom of the place she works at.
The clip is short with no verbal audio. The creator stares at the camera while showing only half of her face. She’s also covering her mouth with her hand, as if still shocked and unable to say anything verbally. The text overlay reads: “Hey so usually i mind my business as a barista but if you’re currently engaged to a man named mike in the choctaw-midwest city area with three cats, TAKE YOUR CATS AND RUN.”
Not wanting to jump to blame the man fully, she says in the caption, “This mans been here talking to this woman for about an hour now about his ‘nightmare fiance situation’ … who knows maybe she might be but TALKING TO ANOTHER WOMAN ABOUT IT YOU JUST MET ??” Part of the issue is not the engaged aspect, but the free trauma dumping session.
Men Griping About Women Behind Their Backs
Unfortunately, this is not a new phenomenon. The Mary Sue has covered various stories where men would complain or degrade a woman behind their backs. There was an incident with an Uber driver where he drove a couple home after their date. He dropped the girl off first, and as soon as she was gone, the man started sharing crass and xenophobic beliefs about the woman.
In a different story posted a few weeks ago, a woman overheard a man laughing about his girlfriend, Amanda, to another female companion. According to the boasting man, Amanda thought he was at a casino with friends. Lo and behold, he’s on a flight to Orlando with a blonde woman. The internet comes together for support.
With almost 800 comments, the viewers’ opinions venture between sharing locations and sincere hope that the fiancée finds the clip. If they share where it got to, there’s more hope it gets to the intended person.
One viewer says, “I’m in oklahoma. I hope it gets to the lady in choctaw-midwest city.”
A second viewer shares, “I’m in mwc so you’ve made it to the correct fyp just incorrect girl. hope she finds this.” This trend continues for most of the comments.
Interestingly enough, people also join in on trying to spread awareness. One viewer says, “This video is now posted in the town fb group.”
Another gives more ideas: “Girl post this in ‘are we dating the same man’ there should be one local on fb.”
A third viewer says, “Girl i’m finna post this on talk around mwc im messy.”
So far, there has been no update on finding the people mentioned in the video. The Mary Sue reached out to Madi via Instagram direct message.
Gisselle Hernandez-Gomez is a contributing reporter to the Mary Sue. Her work has appeared in the Daily Dot, Business Insider, Fodor’s Travel and more. You can follow her on X at @GisselleHern. You can email her at [email protected].
I often see entrepreneurs fall into the trap of believing success means working harder than everyone else and chasing every single opportunity that comes their way. After two decades of running a business, I’ve learned that short-term wins are easy, but lasting success is what truly sets leaders and businesses apart. Real impact is about much more than temporary gains or flashy metrics.
Four leadership principles have guided my team, shaped our culture, and helped our business find success—not just for a quarter or a year, but over the long haul. I believe these practices deliver real results, create sustainable results, and separate leaders who achieve lasting success from those focused only on immediate results.
1. Invest in relationships and trust
Success is rarely achieved alone. The leaders who last understand that success always comes back to the people around you—your team, partners, and customers. Build strong teams who take ownership, support your partners with integrity, and listen to the customers you serve with genuine empathy.
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At our software company, we consistently invest in building relationships with like-minded organizations in our industry. Our leadership team regularly partners with our regional Rental Owners Association to present to members on key topics, generating dozens of client referrals right here in our home state. We’ve also cultivated lasting partnerships with other technology providers to integrate new features for our clients, which drives a steady influx of mutual referrals. These referral streams—both of which directly impact our bottom line—wouldn’t exist without these strong relationships we’ve built over time.
Relationships rooted in transparency, reliability, and mutual respect will outlast any short-term gain or quick win. These connections are what will carry you through the challenges, spark loyalty, and open doors to opportunities that no single strategy or tactic could ever replicate. By prioritizing your people, collaboration becomes your competitive advantage—standing the test of market shifts and turbulence.
2. Adapt while staying true to your core values
If I’ve learned anything in two decades of running a business, it’s that change is the only constant. Markets shift, technology evolves, and communities transform. Leaders who adapt with discipline, rather than chasing every new trend, will thrive in any environment by adjusting strategies while staying anchored in core values. Agility matters, but values are what give your decisions meaning, consistency, and staying power.
I have a handful of guiding principles—personal connection, organic growth, exceptional service, and continuous innovation—that shape how I lead and how my team operates every day. Staying true to these values for all these years hasn’t limited our growth—it’s fueled it. They’ve allowed me to adapt thoughtfully, grow sustainably, and make a lasting impact on both our industry and community.
3. Prioritize impact over activity
As a leader, especially in the early stages of building a business, it’s easy to get caught up in being busy and mistake it for progress. The most effective leaders don’t just work harder; they work smarter. Learning to delegate strategically will be one of your most powerful tools, freeing you to focus on initiatives that deliver measurable results and truly move the needle.
Whether it’s innovating your product, scaling your organization, or creating meaningful change in your community, prioritizing the projects and decisions that drive real impact creates momentum that builds over time. Every action should align with a clear purpose, positioning your business for long-term, sustainable success.
One of my priorities is to turn customer feedback into new software features that deliver real value for our clients. Recently, I was thinking about how we could measure impact more effectively. True to my developer roots, I spent a weekend writing new code to track client feature requests, calculate how many users each new feature would affect, and flag specific accounts so our team can personally update customers on progress. This small investment of effort ensures that every development decision directly benefits our clients and that our team focuses on what truly matters.
4. Make giving back a habit
As you start to find success as a business leader, it’s the perfect time to start thinking about how you want to give back to the community you’re a part of. Your community might be your neighborhood or city, a niche within your industry, or a cause you feel passionate about.
At our company, we’ve built philanthropy and community engagement into the core values of our business. We support several local organizations that will, in turn, help the people who live in our region. Our company and team are headquartered in Southern Oregon, and we’re always looking for new ways to support the community that supports us. On a larger scale, we also share our research, data, and knowledge through hundreds of free articles, guides, and educational resources—helping strengthen the entire industry we serve.
Giving back builds trust, inspires loyalty, and ensures that the success you’ve worked so hard to build benefits more than just your bottom line.
Short-term wins might feel exciting, but building a business that endures is a long game. Creating a foundation that can weather challenges drives meaningful growth and leaves a lasting impact on your team, industry, and community. Lasting success isn’t by chance; it’s intentional.
Nathan Miller is the president and founder of Rentec Direct.
It’s really easy to swear you’d never forgive a cheating partner. But real-life relationships are messy, layered, and influenced by so much more than one (or a few) bad moments — which makes the question of whether there are ever ‘good’ reasons to look past infidelity a complicated one to say the least.
Of course, all of this is subjective. An immediate dealbreaker for one person might be something another couple feels they can genuinely work through. But for anyone wondering what circumstance could possibly excuse this sort of betrayal, the short answer is none: “There is no universally ‘good’ reason to cheat,” says Idit Sharoni, LMFT, a couples therapist who leads an infidelity recovery program called It’s Okay to Stay. In more than a decade of practice, she says, “I haven’t seen one case where anyone said, ‘Okay, that’s a really great justification!’”
That said, the relationship therapists we spoke with agree that people underestimate how possible it is to recover from an affair and even grow stronger on the other side of it — either as individuals or, if you choose, as a couple.
Either way, forgiveness can be the very tool that provides clarity, closure, and a surprising sense of peace. While there is no universal formula for what makes staying acceptable, here are a few factors they’ve seen that at least make the choice to forgive understandable.
1. You’ve been together for a while and share a deep history
Needless to say, couples who have been together for decades have a lot more on the line than those in the early stages of dating. “If you’ve been married for a really long time, it’s not just a simple decision to say, ‘Let me end this relationship,’” Sharoni says. “It’s not an on-and-off switch.”
That’s because long-term duos have years of shared history and life experiences to take into consideration. Maybe they were there for each other during the death of a parent or child, a serious health scare, or sudden financial challenges, Sharoni says. “When you go through the relationship having supported each other in so many different ways, the infidelity doesn’t always automatically negate that.”
2. You rely on each other financially
Similarly, the practical circumstances of a long-term relationship — such as being financially tied to each other — can make the decision on whether or not to forgive a cheating partner incredibly complex. “I work with a lot of couples who’ve decided to stay together because it would be very expensive to maintain separate housing, separate lives, and they’ve figured out a way to make the situation work,” Lisa Chen, LMFT, a Los Angeles–based couples therapist.
On top of that, other money-related realities like shared debt, childcare costs, or relying on a partner’s health insurance can play a meaningful role in explaining why a person may be tempted to stay.
3. They came forward on their own
While it doesn’t suddenly erase the betrayal, an unprompted confession can make it easier to believe they won’t do it again, Patrice Le Goy, PhD, LMFT, a Los Angeles–based couples therapist.
“What I’ve noticed while working with people dealing with infidelity is that they’re often more inclined to forgive if they receive a genuine apology,” Dr. Le Goy explains. That’s because coming forward voluntarily — rather than being caught — can show that your partner is willing to take responsibility, even when they don’t technically have to. And that transparency early on, she says, can be a good first step in rebuilding the trust that’s essential for any successful relationship.
4. You need to free yourself from the resentment and pain
A common misconception is that forgiveness automatically means getting back together—which, Chen notes, isn’t always the case. For some people, letting bygones be bygones isn’t about excusing the behaviour or even saving the relationship: It’s about freeing themselves from resentment for the sake of their own wellbeing.
The man I loved didn’t fit the stereotype of an incel. He wasn’t some bitter, jobless guy raging on Reddit from his parents’ spare room. He was smart, sociable, gainfully employed — neat suit, good salary, praised by his boss. On paper, he looked like the kind of man any woman might be proud to date. But behind his polite smile was a festering resentment.
Even though he’d had relationships, he was still an incel — because his resentment never left. He wasn’t unwanted; he was just angry that the women he wanted didn’t want him back. As a younger man, he’d struggled on the dating market, only finding confidence once he had money and status. Every rejection hardened into a belief that women were shallow or “corrupted by feminism.” To him, dating wasn’t mutual — it was a hierarchy he thought he deserved to win. When things didn’t go his way, he blamed women collectively. That’s the real incel mindset: not celibacy, but entitlement.
I grew up in London — Asian, neurodiverse, the daughter of two academics. He was my opposite: white, working-class, raised in a northern village where almost everyone looked the same. His dad was a policeman, his mum a dental nurse. Their home was full of Union Jacks, their politics firmly pro-Brexit, their social feeds littered with far-right talking points and sympathy for Tommy Robinson. That was his normal.
To most people, he was the picture of “lad culture”: football, pubs, cheap flights, cage-fighting clips with his mates. But beneath the laughter was anger. He admired Trump, Farage, and Andrew Tate. He distrusted refugees. He mocked diversity initiatives. He once told me he wanted to study history through the Open University — then spent hours talking about the Third Reich as if it were a masterclass in order, not a warning of horror. His intelligence made his obsession feel deliberate, and chilling.
At work, though, he played a different role. He was confident, helpful, always volunteering to “rescue” me. His boss adored him. His colleagues saw him as dependable. And I, exhausted from masking my autism in a corporate world built for neurotypicals, let him. Gratitude became my survival tool — thank you for the help, thank you for the advice — while he quietly took control. It wasn’t kindness; it was power dressed as protection.
He’d tried similar tactics with other women in the team, but they brushed him off. I didn’t. I was the only non-white person in my cohort, already under scrutiny, and his “help” gave me breathing room. What looked like support became dependence — and dependence became control.
Outside work, he was worse. His friends were openly anti-immigrant, casually sharing memes about “remigration.” His family mirrored those views: Brexit flags, jokes about “wokeness,” complaints that Britain had “gone soft.” He wasn’t an outlier; he was part of an ecosystem where grievance passed as common sense.
That contradiction never stopped haunting me. Here was a man with every social advantage — white, male, employed, respected — and yet he saw himself as a victim. He’d built a story where he was the one betrayed by progress, by feminism, by diversity. His father’s temper, his parents’ messy split during COVID — all of it fed his sense of grievance and decline.
My feelings changed in stages: first confusion, then fear, then pity. Pity that his intelligence had been wasted on resentment. Pity that his masculinity had shrunk into dominance. Pity that he couldn’t imagine a Britain where he wasn’t on top. But pity doesn’t neutralise danger. His politics bled into everything — how he treated women, how he talked about race, how he saw the world.
Love might be priceless, but this guy definitely tried to get it comped. A North Carolina fine dining server is going viral after sharing the most unhinged reservation note she’s ever received. First, the soon-to-be groom (allegedly) asked if the hostess could join him and his girlfriend for dinner.
If that’s not weird enough, he then casually wondered if the entire meal could be free. His reason? He “guesses” he might be proposing that night, but didn’t exactly have the funds. The internet’s response has been one for the books. “Sir, if you can’t afford the appetizers, maybe hold off on the lifelong commitment,” one commenter wrote.
Unorthodox Proposal?
Bri’s (@b.tbo92) half-minute clip has set a fire with 46,000 views. Amid background laughter, Bri succinctly tells the story that has hundreds laughing in her comments section. She starts, “OK, I need to do a dramatic reading of this reservation note we just got.”
Before she gets into it, Bri briefly mentions how, when making a reservation, customers can also leave a note for the restaurant to see. She then reads the note line by line. It’s comically short, straightforward, and … bizarre?
She reads, “’Oh, can I have one of your hosts sit with us and enjoy a meal together? Just us three. Also, can I have the restaurant pay for my meal? I guess I’m proposing to my girlfriend and don’t have that much money, but wanna eat somewhere good for a change.”
As she finishes reading, Bri’s co-workers can be heard in the background howling in laughter. As Bri joins in on the fun, someone in the back says, “What do you mean ‘I guess?’ The clip ends, and the viewers are left simultaneously baffled and humored.
Is Proposing at a Restaurant a Good Idea?
As common as restaurant proposals go, the internet is split on whether it is a good idea. On February 24, Brides.com posted an article titled, “How to Plan the Perfect Restaurant Proposal.” Mentioned at the beginning of the article was, “The best proposal locations—whether a restaurant, vacation locale, or backyard—are the ones that played a role in the couple’s history.” So, not only is Mr. Comp-My-Meal broke, but he wasn’t even planning a sentimental proposal. He specifically mentioned wanting to dine “somewhere good for a change.”
On the other hand, The Daily Mealposted “6 Reasons You Should Never Propose In A Restaurant.” Among the list were unoriginality, having an audience, and being attention-seeking. However, it seems that’s exactly what Bri’s customer was aiming for.
Even after viewing the hilarious TikTok, Bri’s viewers brought another layer of comedy. One of them perfectly summarizes the entire situation: “Can someone third wheel my proposal? Also, I’m broke.”
Another viewer says, “They need moral AND financial support.” While another jokes, “Like sir you might have bigger fish to fry than a proposal.”
Someone asks, “Can you reject a reservation bc if u can I think u should,” to which Bri responds, “I don’t think we have.”
One viewer, among many dying to know the result, inquires, “How old did they end up being??” Bri responds, “Like mid 30s lol.”
Finally, if you happen to be a note-leaver for restaurants, this one’s for you. One viewer says, “I stopped leaving notes bc I just assumed yall don’t read them (I never said anything weird just like “would love a booth if available ”) SO finding out you all do read them & people leave notes like this is so funny.”
Bri answered, “Oh we read them!! Most are normal like you mentioned but occasionally we get sh-t like this and it’s top tier entertainment.”
The Mary Sue reached out to Bri via email for comment.
Gisselle Hernandez-Gomez is a contributing reporter to the Mary Sue. Her work has appeared in the Daily Dot, Business Insider, Fodor’s Travel and more. You can follow her on X at @GisselleHern. You can email her at [email protected].
After a few months of teasing a romance filled with yachts and lobster, Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau’s summer fling has made it to the fall. They are dating and thriving in cuffing season, internationally even! Now that they’re official — like “paparazzi photos at a birthday celebration” official — the world is their oyster. And caviar. And whatever other chic seafood they may dine on. Pap photos are second to an Instagram hard launch on the celebrity scale. Here’s everything that’s gone on between Perry and Trudeau so far, including how he incorporated her into his Halloween costume.
July 28, 2025: For the first hints of a romance, Perry and Trudeau were spotted walking a dog and getting dinner in Montreal.
July 30, 2025: He’s supportive! Trudeau came out to one of Perry’s shows in Montreal and got to see her flip and spin without any mishaps. Maybe he’s her good-luck charm.
October 12, 2025: She kissed an ex–prime minister, and she liked it. The two were making out on a yacht in Santa Barbara.
October 13, 2025: During Perry’s concert in London, Perry brought a fan up onstage who told her, “I heard you were single,” as he pulled out a sign that said, “Will you marry me?” and got down on one knee. “You heard I was single? That’s interesting,” Perry replied as the crowd laughed. “You really should’ve asked me about 48 hours ago,” she joked. So, they’re boyfriend-girlfriend now?
October 25, 2025: Okay, yeah, they’re publicly dating now. The duo made their first public appearance while holding hands for Perry’s birthday at the Crazy Horse Paris. What else could an international relationship hold going into the fall and winter?
October 28, 2025: Perry soft launches Trudeau on her Instagram. He’s seen in the background of a video where Perry throws her birthday cake.
October 31, 2025: Instagram is for lovers. For Halloween, Trudeau posted a photo of himself dressed as the left shark, referencing Perry’s 2015 Super Bowl halftime performance, when her dancing sharks stole the show.
It’s easy to assume achievement will yield happiness. Start and build your own thriving business, be happier. Advance in your career, be happier. Get a bigger house, be happier. Finish a marathon, be happier.
Hard work and sacrifice lead to success, and happiness is by-product. In its most productive form, living in a dynamic of conditionality (first this, then that) is delaying gratification: doing or not doing this today, so you can have, or be, that tomorrow.
Saving money now so you can start a business down the road. Working harder than everyone around you so you can get promoted. Training and training and training so you can finally check a marathon off your bucket list.
Choosing to do (this), because you someday want to have, or be, (that): active choices, intended to produce desired outcomes.
An Inc.com Featured Presentation
That’s a good thing, both in terms of likelihood of achievement and fulfillment; after all, sometimes success is a driver of happiness.
But more often, the opposite is true. As a study published in Psychological Bulletin that reviewed over 200 different happiness studies found, happiness is much more likely to drive success.
According to the researchers (long, but worth it):
The characteristics related to positive affect include confidence, optimism, and self-efficacy; likability and positive (outlooks towards) others; sociability, activity, and energy; prosocial behavior; immunity and physical well-being; effective coping with challenge and stress; and originality and flexibility.
What these attributes share is that they all encourage active involvement with goal pursuits.
The success of happy people rests on two main factors. First, because happy people experience frequent positive moods, they have a greater likelihood of working actively toward new goals while experiencing those moods. Second, happy people are in possession of past skills and resources, which they have built over time during previous pleasant moods.
Add it all up and in non-researcher-speak, happy people are primed to pursue goals — and because their happiness makes them more likely to have pursued goals in the past, they have developed skills that help them be more likely to accomplish their goals in the future.
The result is a self-sustaining loop: happiness = success = happiness = success….
Another example? A study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies determined employee well-being and happiness accurately predicts employee performance. The researchers spent seven years studying over 900,000 soldiers and found that high positive affect, low negative affect, and high optimism predicted awards for performance and heroism.
How much better? The most positive and optimistic soldiers were four times more likely to receive awards than the least positive and optimistic soldiers.
Of course, you could argue the relationship is correlational, not causal. High performance could result in happiness since high performers tend to receive more recognition and praise, tend to feel more like part of the team, tend to get promoted more frequently, etc. (Instead of my happiness driving my performance, maybe I’m happy because I’m doing so well.)
Except for the fact negative affect (read: I’m kinda miserable) predicted lower performance.
In short, happiness predicted performance, and with it, success.
So if you aren’t as happy as you would like to be, stop thinking success will be the cure. Making more money, for example, can certainly improve your well-being. But after a certain point, it won’t make you happier: the famous 2018 study published in Nature: Human Emotion found that somewhere between $60,000 and $75,000 per year is ideal for “emotional well-being.” (Feel free to adjust for inflation.) Daniel Kahneman’s famous study pegged the number at $75,000.
More generally (and without having to worry about inflation), a Journal of Positive Psychology study shows people tend to “grossly overestimate” the impact of income on overall happiness.
In short, affluence (a fairly common way to measure “success”) is a terrible predictor of happiness. Financial success, past a certain point, won’t make you happier. I know at least a few incredibly rich people who say they’re miserable. Money isn’t their cause of their discontent, but nor has it helped them feel better about their lives.
On the other hand, maintaining even a few close friendships will. A 2013 PLOS One study shows doubling your number of friends is like increasing your income by 50 percent in terms of how happy you feel. So can helping other people; a number of studies show giving can be as beneficial for the giver as the receiver.
So can engaging in active or social forms of leisure. A 2017 PLOS One study shows working out, connecting with family or friends, or pursuing an interest are much more likely to increase levels of happiness compared with passive “activities” like vegging out or staring at your phone.
Bottom line? If you want to be happier, do things that make you happier. Do things that leave you feeling satisfied, fulfilled, and gratified. Not only will those successes — whether professional or personal — make you feel happier, they’ll also create a foundation for future success.
And happiness.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
While Jackman and Foster have only been publicly dating for about 10 months, they’ve been acquainted with each other since the early 2000s. Both are members of the greater Broadway community; as People points out, Jackman snapped a photo with Foster during her Tony-winning, star-making run as the titular ’20s flapper in Thoroughly Modern Millie. One year later, Jackman would host the Tonys for the first time; a year after that, he’d host again and win his own leading-actor-in-a-musical trophy for playing Peter Allen in The Boy From Oz. As a theater luminary herself, Foster must have been aware of Jackman’s electrifying run as Tonys emcee—he did it three years in a row—particularly the year he also performed a number from The Boy From Oz in a cheetah-print button-down and impossibly tight gold pants. In any case, it’s clear they both have greasepaint roaring through their veins.
By the time they’d met, Jackman had already been a married man for years, having wed Australian actor and producer Deborra-Lee Furness in 1996. Foster has had a more tumultuous romantic history. She was married to fellow actor Christian Borle, who would go on to win his own Tony awards, from 2006 to 2009; when she won her second Tony in 2011 for playing another grande dame of musical theater, Reno Sweeney, in a revival of Anything Goes, she famously thanked her dresser as well as her boyfriend at the time, actor Bobby Cannavale. (Like Foster, Cannavale would eventually find love with an Australian—Rose Byrne.) Jackman and Foster remained friendly through this time—even dancing together when Jackman hosted the Tonys a fourth time in 2014—but their relationship was not romantic.
Then came The Music Man, the critically acclaimed Broadway revival starring Foster and Jackman that was announced in March 2019 and originally set to open in October 2020. When rehearsals for the revival began, Jackman was still married to Furness, with whom he shares two children, Oscar and Ava. Foster, meanwhile, had married screenwriter Ted Griffin in 2014 and adopted a baby girl, Emily, with him in 2017. But due to the pandemic and subsequent Broadway shutdown, the revival was put on hold until 2022.
When rehearsals started again, Jackman praised Foster’s immense talent in a story about the show in Vanity Fair. “She can learn a new dance in three hours, and she’s the best dancer you’ve seen on Broadway,” Jackman said of his costar. Foster shared a similar sentiment about Jackman while appearing with him on Late Night With Seth Meyers. “I’m having the time of my life playing opposite this guy,” she said. “It’s a dream come true.” A mutual talent crush had been established.
Gavin Creel and Jonathan Groff in 2009. Photo: Bruce Glikas/FilmMagic
While speaking at the New Yorker Festival on October 26, Jonathan Groff shared the bittersweet story of his final interaction with Gavin Creel, whom he dated in 2009. The two hadn’t spoken in years but shared a text exchange after Groff mentioned how Creel had positively affected his life in a June 2024 New Yorker interview. “I got a text message a couple of days after the interview came out from Gavin Creel,” Groff told New Yorker journalist Michael Schulman, who wrote the original article. “We had dated 15 years ago. I shared in the interview how he’d changed my life and how that relationship altered the course of my existence.” After reading the quotes, Creel texted Groff that “I think I know now that I mean as much to you as you mean to me.”
Groff revealed that he and Creel had continued to chat “all the way up until the Tonys that year.” When Tony Night came, Groff won Best Actor in a Musical for his work in Merrily We Roll Along. “He texted me congratulations,” Groff said. “And that was the last interaction we ever had.” Creel died of cancer just three months later, on September 24, 2024.
In the interview that caused Creel to text him, Groff recalled coming out publicly to Broadway.com in 2009 after the couple attended the March on Washington for marriage equality together. Groff remembered “looking at Gavin, who was holding a bullhorn, directing people into the march,” and getting inspired to come out. “I was, like, I fucking love him so much,” he said. “I’m coming out.”
“I know it wasn’t your intent to close a loop with a guy I dated who was about to die,” Groff told Schulman. “But I really thank you for that.”
Nobody Wants This is back, bringing with it many relationship-related debates as well as goals, along with its sun-bleached LA location and gorgeous cast. The first season was a 2024 hit amongst millennials in particular, as we watched Noughties TV stars Kristen Bell and Adam Brody play a fated couple from opposite sides of the tracks – namely the world of a rabbi and the life of an agnostic sex podcaster.
For those who didn’t immediately watch as soon as the new episodes dropped, the very beginning of the much-awaited second season sees protagonist couple Noah (Brody) and Joanne (Bell) throw a dinner party, with a mission of merging their friendship groups. It’s made obvious from the outset that this is a huge milestone in their relationship, in order to make it legit, built to last.
As she is honoured as a 2025 Glamour Woman of the Year in the UK and the US, the Snow White and Evita star sits down with her friend, former costar, and legendary actor Helen Mirren.
In the opening scene of the episode we see Joanne and her sister Morgan (Justine Lupe) discussing Joanne’s “perfect” new relationship on their podcast, with Morgan offering some more cynical analysis. “A relationship isn’t solid until you’re out of the honeymoon phase,” she says. “The real test is when you merge your lives and you blend your friends.”
In an interview with Nobody Wants This star Justine Lupe, we asked her about this storyline, specifically if merging friendship groups was a red, beige or green flag, and she referred to the concept as a “choose your own adventure” mission. “I understand people wanting to dip into their separate friendship groups, but I also think it’s great to combine and see how different people get along with different vibes of other people,” she added.
Introducing your partner to your friends is a long-held milestone for a serious relationship. Will they pass the friend test? Will they build their own bonds with your friend’s partners, leading to double date heaven? But, like anything that involves matchmaking and good chemistry, the success of this endeavour can definitely vary. The picture-perfect idea of your best pal having the exact same interests and taste in wine and food as your partner could happen, or it might not.
While watching this Nobody Wants Thisdinner party scene, the “merging friendship groups” scene felt to me like undue pressure. It made me uncomfortable. Not that it’s not a lovely and important thing to do for some couples, but that it’s seen as a pass or fail when it comes to whether your friendship groups mesh well. The question of Joanne’s conversion to Judaism has been put on ice (for now, but not for long), so the couple’s quest to build a serious relationship continues in the form of attempting to mix together their friends and family. Of course, this doesn’t go to plan. In fact, the dinner is derailed not by any of the invitees, but Joanne and Noah’s own lack of communication.
Here are a few other toys that aren’t as great as the picks above but are still worth a try.
Courtesy of Lelo
Lelo Tor 3 for $116: If you love cock rings but would love them even more if they were app-enabled, then meet the Lelo Tor 3. While at first the Tor 3 looks very snug, this ring is extremely flexible, making it a perfect fit for all penises or strap-ons, if that’s how you prefer to use this device, as it’s designed to stimulate the clitoris when paired with a partner who has a vulva. Although you can score a whopping two hours of playtime with Tor 3, it’s paramount that you don’t exceed 30 minutes of restricted blood flow to the penis. And if at any time things start to hurt—not in a good way—remove the ring immediately. The Tor 3 doesn’t have the pinchable arms that the Dame Hug has, so it’s up to the users to be cognizant of time limits and potential side effects.
Unbound Bender for $69: The Unbound Bender isn’t marketed as a couples’ sex toy, but as far as I’m concerned, it absolutely is. The Bender is called that because it bends this way and that, making both external and internal stimulation fun. Similar to the Dame Pom, this isn’t a toy that’s connected to an app, but it allows for couples to experiment with different types of stimulation, from head to toe, either as foreplay or as the main course. With 10 vibration modes and two hours of run time, you and your partner can light some candles, put on your favorite album, and explore each other’s bodies. In addition to being used on all your favorite external erogenous zones, the Bender is also safe for both vaginal and anal play, and its versatility really allows you to get creative in how you choose to use it.
B-Vibe Rimming Plug 2 for $108:Ilana Wexler said, “It’s 2014. Anal is on the menu” in Broad City over a decade ago, so it would be profoundly wrong not to include the remote-controlled b-Vibe Rimming Plug 2. It falls into the couples’ sex toy category thanks to its easy-to-use remote, and whether you’re new to anal stimulation or a seasoned fan, this is a plug that gives you everything you’d want. It’s not too big, and folks with prostates will thoroughly enjoy the internal stimulation, not to mention the rotating beads at the base of the plug to stimulate the anus, adding a sensation that can be enjoyed by anyone who has a butt.
Here’s a common pattern in my house. See if it seems familiar to you. After my husband showers, he often forgets to put his dirty clothes in the hamper. This drives me batty, so I remind him to please pick them up. Again and again and again.
We’ve been married for 15 years now and the result of all my nagging appears to be exactly zilch. Half the time I go in the bathroom there is a ball of socks and underwear on the floor.
My husband is an otherwise thoughtful and considerate guy. So what’s going on? According to psychology research, the problem likely isn’t him. It’s my belief that nagging is an effective strategy to get another person to change their behavior.
The psychology of why nagging doesn’t work
“We have a perception that we won’t get what we want from the other person, so we feel we need to keep asking in order to get it,” psychologist Scott Wetzler explained to The Wall Street Journal. But rather than prompting change, nagging causes people to feel demeaned and withhold the desired behavior. The nagger then nags more and resentment builds.
So what works better to get someone to actually change their behavior? A new study has a suggestion. But, be warned, if you’re stuck in a pattern of habitual nagging, it will probably feel counterintuitive.
The jujitsu mind trick that actually changes behavior
After years of low-level laundry conflict, I admit the last thing I feel inclined to do is thank my husband the one time in a dozen that his clothes end up in the hamper. But according to a new study out of the University of Toronto recently published in Personality and Social PsychologyBulletin, when it comes to changing his behavior, gratitude would beat nagging.
The research was conducted by psychologist Natalie Sisson and colleagues and consisted of three separate studies looking at the connection between expressions of gratitude and behavior change in couples.
One study asked 151 couples to keep a daily diary of their interactions around some change sought by one member of the pair. These diaries showed that the more a member of the couple felt their partner was grateful for their efforts to change, the more likely they were to make further adjustments. After nine months, partners who felt their better halves were most grateful had made the biggest changes.
Taken together, all the findings “suggest that, if you ask your partner to change something about themselves or their behavior, and they say they are willing to try, being grateful will help them to develop their own motivation to make that change, making it more likely to happen,” writes the British Psychological Society’s Research Digest, summing up the results.
Easy to explain, harder to implement
In some sense, that’s intuitive. When you praise someone for their efforts, even if they’re minimal, they feel positive about you and themselves. When you nag them the opposite happens. Which scenario do you think is more likely to result in someone putting in more effort?
But my personal experience at least suggests that, in the heat of the moment, this jujitsu mind trick — praising faint signs of improvement even when you feel like complaining — can be hard to muster. The last thing I want to do when I finally spot one of my husband’s socks in the hamper is to offer him kudos. It’s hard not to think about the hundreds I’ve had to deposit there before.
If you care about effectiveness more than venting, though, psychology suggests this is the way to go. Positive reinforcement works best to train a puppy. It also apparently works best to train people. Bigging others up with gratitude is more likely to motivate them to change their behavior than tearing them down with nagging.
Other tricks to help someone change their behavior
What else can you do to help other people change their behavior? This isn’t the first study to dig into this question. Experts have other ideas that may complement a liberal application of gratitude.
BJ Fogg, director of the Persuasive Technology Lab at Stanford, has suggested catching a ride on the other person’s “motivational wave.” When you notice the other party seems keen to make the desired change, step up and offer them concrete support.
If you want someone in your life to exercise more, that could mean going to tour gyms with them when they express an interest. Or it could mean sitting down with your perpetually disorganized employee and walking them through a new calendar system when they come to you for help.
Another idea, suggested by psychologist Devon Price, is digging into what barriers or obstacles might be preventing a person from changing. If my husband’s laundry delinquency is a result of being rushed in the morning, maybe we could switch around some chores to ease his time crunch. If your colleague is putting off a task because of fear of failure, additional training or support will probably work better than scolding.
Finally, time-use expert and author Laura Vanderkam says that, if you want others to change, you should first talk about your own self-improvement projects. If a direct report is struggling with time management, for instance, she advises walking them through your own diary as a way to get a conversation about tradeoffs and challenges started.
Step one: Give up the nagging
What all of these experts agree on is that if you really want someone to change their behavior, nagging might relieve some of your frustration. But it’s not going to actually work. Try gratitude, support, and open dialogue instead.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
Finding out your partner has been keeping financial secrets from you—whether it’s hiding debt, concealing big-ticket purchases, or an undisclosed bank account—can be hurtful, and even a deal breaker for many couples. While it can be hard to trust your spouse again, experts say there are ways to navigate financial infidelity.
Often, people find out about financial betrayal the hard way. It’s either when a spouse feelstheir back is up against the wall and they decide to come clean, or the other half starts picking up on red flags, said Jeri Bittorf, a financial wellness co-ordinator with Resolve Counselling Services Canada.
Indications such as seeing your partner stressed about money even when you perceive things to be fine, or seeing a debt collection letter arrive, could mean something is wrong. “That might start tipping them off that there might be something a little bit more,” Bittorf said. Some people have also found out about financial infidelity while making bigger purchases that require a credit check, or during the mortgage renewal process.
It can have a cascading effect on the lives of both partners, such as negatively impacting joint financial goals or affecting both of their credit reports, she said. “Financial betrayal is a serious type of betrayal,” Bittorf said.
Can couples recover from financial betrayal?
Saijal Patel comes across cases of financial betrayal often in her line of work. Patel, the founder of financial consultancy and education firm Saij Elle, said one of the top comments she hears from clients is: “I learned my partner had all this secret debt, I had no idea, or I learned that they were giving away money to their family members without telling me.”
Patel recalled a client whose husband had racked up debt because of a tanking business, and her client didn’t know about it. Eventually, the couple lost everything and ultimately separated.
But not all financial dishonesties end in separations or divorces, she said. If a couple decides to work through it, Patel said it’s possible to get past financial betrayal.
Sellery said it’s important to understand the context. “The root cause matters,” he said. Start with the five Ws: who, what, where, when and why to get to the facts. Was the person hiding debt because they were helping a sick relative or because of substance abuse, for example. Frequency of dishonesty also matters—whether it was the first time or has this been a pattern, Sellery said. At the same time, communicate how the betrayal made you feel, he said. Talk about how it made you anxious, stressed or made you question your marital choices.
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Rebuilding trust—and your finances
Financial issues can also dredge up feelings of shame or guilt. Bittorf said the couple should seek counselling to understand where communication may have broken down.
If the dishonesty is debt-related, she said a financial planner can help you understand the full impact of the debt, the type of loans that were taken on and what budgeting would look like to get through the situation.
It’s also important to understand responsibilities, such as whether both partners would work equally at paying back this debt, or just the person responsible for it. “It’s really important that some really good boundaries are set and some really good expectations are set so both people in the relationship know exactly what their role is in moving forward,” Bittorf said.
Patel said agreeing to transparency in finances can help rebuild trust. She said the couple should figure out what may be their non-negotiables, such as having a joint account, scheduling regular check-ins, and sharing bank and credit card statements.
“Talk about those financial goals and your values,” she said. “When you have a shared goal … it’s much easier to get everyone on the same page,” Patel said.
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Building a strong emotional connection with your partner is crucial for a fulfilling relationship, but it’s not always easy to know where to start. In this article, we’ll explore the importance of building a strong emotional connection, the key elements of a strong bond and how to know if you have them, common signs of emotional distance, and ways you can strengthen your love.
Why It’s Important to Emotionally Connect With Your Partner
Research shows that understanding and nurturing your connection can help you better navigate challenges, build trust, and foster intimacy. Engaging in healthy communication patterns, shared activities, and gratitude can also significantly enhance emotional ties. In short, working on your emotional connection will bolster your connection and build goodwill, so even during tough times your connection stays strong.
Understanding Emotional Connection
Your emotional connection is the foundation of your relationship. It’s more than just being together, it’s about shared experiences and a bond that reaches below surface level. Emotional intimacy happens when partners can trust each other with their innermost thoughts and feelings. They know they can rely on each other, even during difficult times, and they choose each other every day.
Emotional intelligence plays a role in establishing this bond. It requires recognizing and managing your own emotions while being attuned to your partner’s.
Creating a safe space where each partner can share their thoughts, dreams, and fears is also essential. Knowing that your partner supports you and really cares about your inner world is crucial to a healthy emotional connection.
Key Elements of a Strong Emotional Connection and How to Know if You Have Them
Trust
The foundation of every lasting relationship, trust is what everything else is built upon. Trust is built through consistency and reliability, through showing up for each other in both calm and difficult times. When trust is strong, both partners feel secure enough to grow and take emotional risks together.
How you know you have trust in your relationship? You can be open and honest without fear. You don’t have to filter your thoughts or hide your emotions. You know your partner has your back. You have a sense of safety in your relationship.
Respect
Having respect for your partner means valuing their individuality and feelings while honoring differences that make each of you unique. It’s about seeing your partner as a whole person, not someone to change or manage. When couples treat each other with respect, they create an environment where both people feel seen, heard, and appreciated. That kind of mutual care creates the space where real emotional closeness can develop.
How you know you have respect in your relationship? You value each other’s differences and opinions. You treat one another with kindness, even if you disagree. Your relationship feels balanced and secure. You both matter equally.
Empathy
Having empathy means understanding and being attuned to what your partner is feeling. It begins with listening—not to fix or correct—but to understand. When you validate each other’s emotions, even when you don’t agree, you build emotional attunement, that sense of “you get me” that keeps love close and secure. Empathy transforms tension into understanding and turns conflict into connection.
How you know you have empathy in your relationship? You truly understand and care about what one another feels. You listen to each other with compassion. You respond to each other with warmth. You are sensitive to each other’s moods and feelings.
Communication
It’s not just about talking; it’s about listening with awareness and responding with care. Open, honest conversations paired with regular emotional check-ins help prevent misunderstandings and build trust. When couples communicate well, they stay connected even through stress and change, continually reinforcing their emotional bond.
How you know you have good communication in your relationship? Communication flows easily. Conversations feel natural and honest, whether you’re sharing dreams or talking through challenges. You have regular check-ins with each other. You practice active listening, and avoid blame or criticism.
Friendship
It lies at the heart of lasting love. The laughter, shared memories, and mutual enjoyment that make being together feel easy and joyful. Strong friendships within relationships create a sense of “us”, a partnership grounded in appreciation and affection. When friendship thrives, love feels lighter, safer, and more resilient against life’s challenges.
How you know you have friendship in your relationship? You laugh together, share experiences, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. You make time for fun and connection, even in small ways. You play together and you have adventures together. You seek each other out in a crowded room.
A New York City man says a woman he met on a first date asked him to meet her at Magnolia Bakery. Then she asks him to do something bizarre with a slice of cake.
In a video with over 1 million views, TikToker Sammy (@sammyfilming) stands in front of Magnolia Bakery, a popular baked goods chain. He says he just finished a first date with a woman named Cecelia.
Just before they order, his date reveals that she doesn’t eat sugar.
“What do you mean you don’t eat sugar?” he asks, questioning why she wanted to meet at the bakery with the slogan “Proudly passionate sugar people.”
His date explains that she has a condition that makes her unable to digest sugar. Sammy asks her what she plans to do during the date if she can’t eat any of the sweets.
Her request shocks him.
What did she ask her date to do at Magnolia Bakery?
“She says, ‘I really love it if I can watch other people eat the cakes and cupcakes,”” he recounts.
Sammy enthusiastically agrees and orders a slice of cake and a cupcake.
“We sat down, and I was just going at it,” he says. “And she was making these very loud, very vocal kind of ‘yummy’ sounds.”
Other people in the cafe started to take notice, and a man sitting near them turned to see who was making the noise. Then, the interaction takes an even weirder turn.
“He goes, ‘Cecelia?’” Sammy continues. “He goes, ‘My name’s Jerry, we met a couple weeks ago and ate cake here.’”
In that moment, Sammy realizes that he isn’t on a casual first date. Instead, Cecelia has roped him into engaging in her cake “kink.” While there are no solid stats on the number of people who have a similar food fetish, the Sexual Health Alliance suggests it may be relatively common.
How did viewers react to his bizarre date?
In the comments, viewers defend Cecelia’s method of scouting men to eat cake in front of her.
“God forbid a girl has a hobby,” one writes.
“At least she was honest! ‘I like watching other people eat it’ That was your first clue,” another says.
Others suggest how Cecelia can find more people to participate.
“Cecilia. You gotta take them to different bakeries Hun. This is how I got caught getting 3 different people to buy me Maggie Moos on a weekend,” a commenter suggests.
“Cecilia should start her own bakery so she can watch people eat her cake every day,” another jokes.
“She should have had both you at the same table eating cake so she could watch y’all at the same time,” a third writes.
A couple accidentally returned a real wedding ring instead of a cheaper “fake” one to Amazon, leading to a rabbit hole of calls with the company to get their ring back. In a video with over 188,000 views, Hannah (@hannahhuffer7), and Orlando lifestyle content creator set to get married this year, explained how she accidentally returned the wrong item to Amazon.
In her video, she described how she wears a fake engagement ring to work, bringing her actual engagement ring to other events like her Bible studies. When she went to put on her ring before a study one day, she noticed that her actual, incredibly expensive ring wasn’t there. Her fiancé had accidentally returned her real ring to Amazon instead of the fake one that she’d been using for work.
A desperate bid to get the ring back
The couple immediately jumped into action. They called Amazon, but their return service was of little help to them. Amazon’s return line allegedly told the couple that they couldn’t look through any of the boxes given to them, as they’re sealed. The company “didn’t care one bit” about their predicament, ultimately leading them to a Whole Foods parking lot to try and reach out directly.
In Hannah’s video, you can hear her fiancé trying to get the ring back. He says that he returned the ring on that very same day in a relatively calm demeanor.
Commenters offer suggestions
Commenters had a few suggestions on things to do to try and get the engagement ring back. For one, many said that calling Amazon’s return service repeatedly works better than calling once.
“One time I accidentally returned a $3,000 camera lens to Amazon instead of a $10 scale. I called and cried like [five] times. [Two] weeks later it miraculously showed back up at my doorstep. KEEP CALLING,” said one commenter.
“Okay…So I accidentally returned an antique plate to amazon. i called them a few times until I got to someone who would help me. They told me they would return it. It took almost two months, but I did end up getting it back,” added another viewer.
Others suggested that they invest in ring insurance. Hannah clarified that they did have insurance for the ring, but it was sentimental for the couple.
According to a comment that Hannah left on her first video, a Whole Foods manager was able to find and return the ring to them.
She later clarified in a video update how everything transpired. Her fiancé was making 25 Amazon returns, as she had a large Amazon list for her bachelorette party. They weren’t necessarily planning on returning the “fake” engagement ring at that time, but it ended up in their return pile anyway.
Her fiancé thought that she had put her real ring on for work that day, leaving the fake one out. He put it back in its box, leading to it ending up in his car on the way to return.
Many commenters wondered how he wasn’t able to tell the difference between her fake ring and her real ring. Hannah clarified that her future husband’s life “flashed before his eyes” because of the mistake.
When they got to Whole Foods, they didn’t end up making any progress at first. That’s when Liz, the Whole Foods manager, came in. She ended up finding the ring for them and saving the day. She went through 20 boxes worth of goods to find and return the ring.
Viewers mentioned the fact that Hannah and her partner should get Liz a gift card. Hannah agreed.
The Mary Sue has reached out to Hannah. We’ve also reached out to Amazon’s press email for comment.
