We get insights on how he stays warm, the size of his sleigh and how he gets everywhere so fast?
This page contains a video which is being blocked by your ad blocker. In order to view the video you must disable your ad blocker.
When will Santa come to the DC region? Track with NORAD
We know Santa is busy on Christmas Eve, but as he makes his way to the D.C. area, he took a few minutes to address some last-minute questions from WTOP’s youngest listeners.
Listen to the interview or read the transcript below.
Santa answers it all! We get insights on how he stays warm, the size of his sleigh and how he gets everywhere so darn fast?
The transcript below has been lightly edited for clarity.
Ellie, of Potomac, Maryland:
How big is your sleigh? How long does it take to go around the world in one night? How fast do your reindeers go, and how many presents can fit in your sack?
Santa:
My sleigh is normal size, but it uses magic to hold as much as it needs to hold. And it’s faster than a shooting star, even quicker than the blink of an eye.
And I think she asked about how long it takes to go around the world. It takes a full day. But because of the different time zones, I can stretch one second, you see, into a whole hour. So, the trip takes about 24 hours. To you all, it’s just one night, but for me, it’s a very long and wonderful adventure.
And the reindeer, they like to trot, but when they’ve had their magic oats, they travel at the speed of starlight. That’s much faster than any airplane.
And I think Ellie asked about how many presents in the sack? Every single one! We never get too full. No, thankfully, and it never gets too heavy for me to carry it. It’s bottomless and connects directly to my workshop.
Ellen, of Bethesda, Maryland:
Is Santa friends with Frosty the Snowman?
Santa:
Another good question. That’s from Ellen. I remember Ellen. She’s 6-years-old, and she was five years old just last year.
Frosty is one of my best of friends. Yes, in fact, he usually visits the North Pole when it gets a bit too warm down south for him. He likes the cold, and we like to have snowball fights. But I have to be careful. He’s a snowman, you know? He has a very impressive throwing arm, and he loves the cold as much as I do and he always brings a big smile with him.
Mia, of Baltimore County, Maryland:
Where do you live, Santa? How do you keep your house warm?
Santa:
Oh, now those are very important questions. Well, I live at the very top of the world in a magical place called the North Pole. It’s tucked away behind some secret snowy mountains where the Northern Lights dance in the sky almost every night.
And Mrs. Claus, she keeps a giant stone fireplace roaring with logs all day long.
The real secret is the Christmas spirit. The more kindness there is in the world, the warmer our little cottage and the whole world will stay. Plus, I have very thick socks too.
Those are excellent questions from Ellen and Ellie and Mia. I’ll make sure they have an extra special good Christmas this year!
Get breaking news and daily headlines delivered to your email inbox by signing up here.
The bell rings at 10:00 a.m. A teacher begins explaining quadratic equations. Some students lean forward, pencils ready. Others stare at the clock. A few are still turning yesterday’s lesson over in their minds. On the surface, it’s a standard, well‑planned class period. But here’s the catch: Learning doesn’t always happen on schedule.
Think about your own class last week. Did every student learn exactly what you were teaching? Or did some of them circle back a day or two later with new questions, fresh insights, or sudden understanding?
Across the country, laws and regulations attempt to define and balance synchronous and asynchronous instruction. Some states fund schools based on seat time, measuring how long students sit in classrooms or log into live online sessions. Here in Indiana, recent legislation even limits the number of e‑learning days that can be asynchronous, as if too many days without live teaching would somehow shortchange students. These rules were written with the best of intentions–ensuring students are engaged, teachers are available, and learning doesn’t slip through the cracks.
Over time, “asynchronous instruction” has picked up a troubling reputation, often equated with the idea of no teaching at all–just kids simply poking through a computer on their own. But the truth is far more nuanced. The work of teaching is so difficult precisely because all learning is, at its core, asynchronous. The best teachers understand the enormous variance in readiness within any group of students. They know some learners grasp a concept immediately while others need more time, multiple exposures, or a completely different entry point. Giving them space beyond the live moment is often exactly what allows learning to take hold.
Devoting resources to well-designed asynchronous learning, such as recorded lectures available for rewatch, self-paced learning modules, project-based activities, and educational games, allows students to immerse themselves in instructional materials and gain a better understanding of content on their terms. Instead of helping students catch up during class time, teachers can focus on whole-group instruction and a deeper analysis of curriculum content.
When we’re measuring butts in seats or time in front of a screen with an instructor on the other end, live, we’re measuring what’s easy to measure, not what’s important. Real student engagement happens in the head of the learner, and that is far harder to quantify.
That’s why I can’t help but wonder if some of these mandates, while well‑intentioned, actually get in the way of real learning, pushing schools to comply with a regulation rather than focus on the conditions that actually help students grow.
What if, instead of focusing so much on the ratio of synchronous to asynchronous minutes, we asked a better question: Are students being given the time, space, and support to truly learn? Are we creating systems that allow them to circle back and show growth when they’re ready, not just when the bell rings? As an administrator, I know our district is still figuring out the complexities of putting these goals into practice.
Instead of tying funding and accountability to time in a seat, imagine tying it to evidence of growth. Imagine policies that encourage schools to document when and how students show understanding, no matter when it happens. Imagine giving educators the freedom to design opportunities for students to revisit, rethink, and re‑engage until the learning truly sticks.
The teaching might be synchronous. But the learning is always happening asynchronously, and if we can shift our policies, practices, and mindsets to honor that truth, we can move beyond compliance and toward classrooms where students have every chance to succeed.
George Philhower, Ed.D., Eastern Hancock Schools
Dr. George Philhower is the superintendent of Eastern Hancock Schools, a rural district located just east of Indianapolis. With five years of experience as a superintendent, George is driven by a vision where every student and staff member wakes up eager to go to school each day. He believes this is possible when everyone feels safe and valued, has opportunities for success, engages in meaningful work, plays and learns with friends, and is supported by caring adults. George holds a Bachelor’s degree in Elementary and Special Education from Cardinal Stritch University, a Master’s in Instructional Leadership from the University of Indianapolis, and both an Ed.S. and Ph.D. from Indiana State University.
Latest posts by eSchool Media Contributors (see all)
Baltimore City officials can count any votes cast for Question F, the city ballot question that could allow for the redevelopment of Harborplace.
The Supreme Court of Maryland on Thursday ended weeks of uncertainty and reversed a September ruling by an Anne Arundel County judge that would have prohibited the city from tallying the votes.
The unanimous five-page order from the high court came one day after the justices heard oral arguments in the case, in an appeal filed by the Maryland State Board of Elections.
State board officials had appealed after Anne Arundel County Circuit Court Judge Cathleen Vitale sided with opponents of the ballot initiative, who said Question F – a proposed change to the city charter that would allow current public park lands to be used for commercial purposes – was not “charter material” but a zoning question. Opponents also said the wording of the question was not clear enough for voters to understand.
Vitale agreed with the opponents on Sept. 16. Because ballots had already been printed and mailed by then, however, Vitale could not order the question stricken from the ballot. Instead, she barred city elections officials from counting any votes cast for or against the charter amendment.
Of the more than 63,000 mail-in ballots that were sent to Baltimore City voters, 18% had already been returned as of this week.
The state board of elections and the developer of the proposed Harborplace project appealed to the Supreme Court. They argued that the ballot question did not violate state law and claimed opponents waited to long to go to court – the state said that opponents did not file their petition with Vitale until late in the afternoon of the day before ballots were printed.
In their ruling, the justices Thursday unanimously sided with the state and developer. The court’s order reversed all three of Vitale’s rulings and remanded the case back to her to enter a judgment in favor of the election board.
The high court said it would explain legal reasons behind its Thursday order in an opinion that will be filed separately at a later date.
Neither board officials nor an attorney for the group of two dozen opponents, led by former Baltimore City Councilmember Anthony Ambridge, responded to a request for comment Thursday.
Matt is joined by New York Times awards season reporter Kyle Buchanan to preview the 2024-25 Oscar race now that the table is mostly set. Kyle sets the table for a fascinating Oscar season—one without a clear front-runner like Oppenheimer was last year—and highlights the biggest narratives that have emerged, including the movies with the strongest momentum, early 2024 films that could make a last-second surge, and other burning questions (02:09). Matt finishes the show with a prediction about the MLB playoffs (28:28).
For a 20 percent discount on Matt’s Hollywood insider newsletter, What I’m Hearing …, click here.
The “Five Whys” technique is an introspection exercise designed to dig into the root cause behind any problem and discover what’s really holding you back.
Matt is joined by Bloomberg’s Lucas Shaw to look at what the future holds for Paramount now that David Ellison has purchased the legacy media company from Shari Redstone. They discuss what will happen to Paramount’s assets—including CBS, Pluto, Paramount+—their movie strategy, and ultimately whether a new, young, tech-focused CEO can not only keep Paramount alive, but help it flourish (02:22). Matt finishes the show with a prediction about the upcoming criminal trial of Alec Baldwin in the Rust case (25:57).
For a 20 percent discount on Matt’s Hollywood insider newsletter, What I’m Hearing …, click this link: puck.news/thetown
President Joe Biden’s performance at the June 27 presidential debate has raised concerns about his age, health and ability to lead the federal government.Administration officials have blamed his confused and at times indecipherable answers at the debate with Republican Donald Trump on a head cold, jet lag and poor preparation at Camp David. But at 81, Biden has found his health to be a key issue for many voters going into November’s election. White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre tried to address questions about the president’s health at Monday’s news briefing. Biden has extensive yearly physical exams, Jean-Pierre said. She added that most Americans don’t understand the extent of the medical care provided to the president, as many people are lucky if they get to see their doctors once or twice a year. By contrast, the president’s medical unit is “just steps down from the residence” at the White House. “A couple times a week,” Biden does a “verbal check-in with his doctor while he’s exercising,” Jean-Pierre said, adding that he had a check-in on Monday.There has been confusion as to whether Biden saw his doctor about his cold after the presidential debate on June 27. The White House initially said there was no medical exam, but it later said there was a “short verbal check-in” and it was determined that no exam was needed. “He has seen a neurologist three times,” said Jean-Pierre. “Not more than that.”The White House spokesperson repeated the phrase “three times” in 17 instances during the Monday briefing. She stressed that all three meetings with a neurologist were tied to the president’s annual physical exams. But Jean-Pierre declined to say where Biden had seen the neurologist — whether the visits were at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center or elsewhere. “I don’t have anything to state as to location,” she said. Not according to the most recent doctor’s letter, issued in February after Biden’s last physical. Jean-Pierre cited that document Monday in response to reporters’ questions.That letter said “an extremely detailed neurologic exam was again reassuring” in that there were no findings consistent with a stroke, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s or ascending lateral sclerosis. The letter added that no tremors or “motor weakness” were detected. Written by Biden’s physician, Dr. Kevin O’Connor, the letter added that Biden “demonstrates excellent fine motor dexterity.” Visitor logs show that Dr. Kevin Cannard, a neurologist who has conducted research into Parkinson’s, went to the White House eight times between July 2023 and this past March.Jean-Pierre declined to confirm the name of the doctor or say why he was going to the White House. She told reporters this was due to security reasons and noted that the White House medical unit treats more people than just the president. “There are thousands of military personnel who come on to this White House,” Jean-Pierre said. “Many of them get the care from the White House medical unit and so we need to be super careful.”Jean-Pierre encouraged the public to “connect the dots.”According to a person familiar with the matter, Cannard makes roughly monthly visits to the White House to support the White House Medical Unit. The person spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss private medical matters. Cannard made similar trips during the Obama administration, according to visitor logs, and during the Trump administration according to a person familiar with the matter. Cannard did have one visit with Biden’s personal physician this January in the White House Residence clinic, weeks before the president’s physical in February. At Monday’s news briefing, Jean-Pierre was asked whether Biden could choose to release his full medical records. She said the president had “shared a comprehensive medical report that is pretty detailed” and in line with what was provided by former Presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush. Sen. John McCain, in 2008, allowed reporters to review more than 1,100 pages of his medical records when he was running for president at 71, which would have made him the oldest elected president at the time.
Administration officials have blamed his confused and at times indecipherable answers at the debate with Republican Donald Trump on a head cold, jet lag and poor preparation at Camp David. But at 81, Biden has found his health to be a key issue for many voters going into November’s election. White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre tried to address questions about the president’s health at Monday’s news briefing.
Biden has extensive yearly physical exams, Jean-Pierre said. She added that most Americans don’t understand the extent of the medical care provided to the president, as many people are lucky if they get to see their doctors once or twice a year. By contrast, the president’s medical unit is “just steps down from the residence” at the White House. “A couple times a week,” Biden does a “verbal check-in with his doctor while he’s exercising,” Jean-Pierre said, adding that he had a check-in on Monday.
There has been confusion as to whether Biden saw his doctor about his cold after the presidential debate on June 27. The White House initially said there was no medical exam, but it later said there was a “short verbal check-in” and it was determined that no exam was needed.
“He has seen a neurologist three times,” said Jean-Pierre. “Not more than that.”
The White House spokesperson repeated the phrase “three times” in 17 instances during the Monday briefing. She stressed that all three meetings with a neurologist were tied to the president’s annual physical exams. But Jean-Pierre declined to say where Biden had seen the neurologist — whether the visits were at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center or elsewhere. “I don’t have anything to state as to location,” she said.
Not according to the most recent doctor’s letter, issued in February after Biden’s last physical. Jean-Pierre cited that document Monday in response to reporters’ questions.
That letter said “an extremely detailed neurologic exam was again reassuring” in that there were no findings consistent with a stroke, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s or ascending lateral sclerosis. The letter added that no tremors or “motor weakness” were detected. Written by Biden’s physician, Dr. Kevin O’Connor, the letter added that Biden “demonstrates excellent fine motor dexterity.”
Visitor logs show that Dr. Kevin Cannard, a neurologist who has conducted research into Parkinson’s, went to the White House eight times between July 2023 and this past March.
Jean-Pierre declined to confirm the name of the doctor or say why he was going to the White House. She told reporters this was due to security reasons and noted that the White House medical unit treats more people than just the president. “There are thousands of military personnel who come on to this White House,” Jean-Pierre said. “Many of them get the care from the White House medical unit and so we need to be super careful.”
Jean-Pierre encouraged the public to “connect the dots.”
According to a person familiar with the matter, Cannard makes roughly monthly visits to the White House to support the White House Medical Unit. The person spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss private medical matters. Cannard made similar trips during the Obama administration, according to visitor logs, and during the Trump administration according to a person familiar with the matter.
Cannard did have one visit with Biden’s personal physician this January in the White House Residence clinic, weeks before the president’s physical in February.
At Monday’s news briefing, Jean-Pierre was asked whether Biden could choose to release his full medical records. She said the president had “shared a comprehensive medical report that is pretty detailed” and in line with what was provided by former Presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush. Sen. John McCain, in 2008, allowed reporters to review more than 1,100 pages of his medical records when he was running for president at 71, which would have made him the oldest elected president at the time.
What I eat and where my food comes from are very important to me, and I know these are things many of you value as well. As much as I enjoy growing my own garden, both outdoors and indoors, I’m not as consistently skilled at keeping everything alive and thriving. So when seasonal produce is plentiful, I like to rely on my favourite farmers at local markets to keep me stocked. Finding a farmer’s stall that’s a good fit becomes much simpler with a list of crucial questions to ask your farmer at the market.
Developing relationships with the people who grow your food takes time, but is well worth the effort. When you’re beginning to explore farmers markets and local food, there are a number of ‘first date’ questions you can ask to discover whether the farmer in question is right for you and values the same things you do.
So today let’s talk about the important questions to ask your farmer at the market. Farmers and food producers are an incredible resource because they’re the ones who are growing the food! I have never met a farmer who doesn’t take pride in his or her work – and farmers are usually happy to chat with you and answer your questions, even during busy market hours.
The key to asking questions is being nice about it. A part of my creed is to flirt with farmers. Now, in this context, I don’t mean flirt with them to get them into your bed (even if it’s an organic, non-toxic bed), but it’s genuinely a good practice to be respectful, kind and courteous when asking questions about where your food comes from. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, so be sweet.
Questions to Ask Your Farmer at the Market
1. What sprays/pesticides/herbicides do you use?
Some farmers markets have certain rules and restrictions about the types of farming practices they expect from their vendors. But not all do. Ask what kinds of synthetic sprays, pesticides and herbicides farmers use to grow and tend to their produce.
A meta-analysis of 343 studies concluded that organic produce is higher in antioxidants, lower in pesticide residues and lower in heavy metals than conventional. Reducing our exposure by purchasing pesticide-free fruits and veggies is a fundamental place to start.
2. What kind of pest control measures do you use? Do you spray all year or at the beginning of the season, or only as needed?
Some farmers may not use pesticides on a regular basis, but only in special circumstances when there is an infestation or maybe at the beginning of the growing season. Inquire about this, as well as the farmer’s approach to dealing with pests. Pest control is a part of farming no matter what – but methods to deal with it differ.
Do they choose certain varieties of plants that are more resistant to pests? Do they create an environment that attracts beneficial insects that eat the pests? And do they rotate crops and have other animals on the farm that deal with pests? (What’s a pest to us is dinner to another!)
3. What kind of soil do you use?
Fruits and vegetables get their nutrients from the soil – and that means a fruit or veggie is only as nourishing as the soil in which it was grown.
Great, fertile soil is its own ecosystem, with microorganisms and organisms that work together to break down and create nutrient-rich matter. Soil also works within the larger ecosystem of the farm, including the animals that fertilize or graze, the birds in the area, the water used, the sunshine, and more. A good farmer will understand this symbiotic environment and work to create soil that is nourishing.
Pesticides, monocropping and tillage all affect soil quality. Research shows that the vitamin and mineral content of our produce has declined in recent decades. An apple your grandmother ate as a child was actually more nutrient-rich than most apples available today.
Another major issue with soil is soil erosion because of our chemical farming practices. Fertile topsoil takes time to develop, but most crops aren’t given that opportunity. Scientists predict if soil degradation continues at the current rate, we’ll only have 60 years of farming left.
Scary? Yes. But thankfully, there are farmers who prioritize the integrity of their soil and make sure they create a farm environment that will support future generations.
4. Do you have any certifications?
Ask your farmer if he or she has any certifications, such as certified organic or any animal welfare certifications if the farm raises animals. These certifications will vary from country to country.
Now, normally I say that labels are for tin cans and certifications aren’t the whole story of a farm. But it’s good to know if your farmer has pursued any relevant certifications.
It’s definitely possible that a farm practices organic and biodynamic growing techniques, but can’t afford the expensive certification process. That’s why it’s equally important to ask about how they grow their food.
5. What variety of crops do you grow?
Ask your farmer about the kinds of produce they grow throughout the year and their crop rotation methods. This gives you an indication of whether they are trying to support soil fertility, as different plants take certain nutrients from the soil. Crop rotation allows the soil to rest and replenish.
Also, asking about what crops they grow tells you what you have to look forward to and if that farmer grows the types of produce you like. There is a cornucopia of fruits and veggies in the world, and maybe that farmer focuses on foods that aren’t your faves.
6. Do you use GMO seeds?
Just as the soil is important, so are the types of seeds that are planted in that soil. You know that I am not a proponent of genetically modified foods – you can learn why and how to have a conversation about them if you’re interested.
7. For animal products: How are the animals housed and treated? What are they fed? How much fresh air and exercise do they get?
Ask your farmer how they raise and treat their animals. For a full list of what questions to ask about each specific animal, check out this great resource.
8. Can I come and visit your farm?
Most farmers who are proud of what they do and have nothing to hide will be happy to welcome guests to their farms for visits and tours. But don’t show up unannounced whenever you want – ask for a scheduled visit so you know the farmer has the time to show you around when it’s convenient for them.
Remember that farming is hard work so there may be a certain time of the day that’s the best, so work around the farmer’s schedule.
9. What are your favourite ways to prepare X?
Don’t forget that farmers are a goldmine of ideas on the culinary side of things. If they are selling a fruit or vegetable that is unfamiliar to you, ask how to best prepare and use it. For veggies that you know and love, they may give you new ideas and inspiration for cooking and preparation.
They can also offer great advice about storage, preserving and fermenting, so tap into their culinary prowess.
10. Do you have a CSA program?
Community Supported Agriculture – CSA for short – is a wonderful way to support farmers and reap the benefits of the produce they grow. Basically, you purchase a share up front and then once the produce is ready, you get a weekly box for a certain number of weeks. This exposes you to seasonal fruits and veggies and may introduce you to things you’ve never thought to buy before.
Since you don’t necessarily know what will be in your box each week, it’s a great surprise and allows you to experiment with ‘cooking on the fly’. But if you are panicked by the Iron Chef-style surprise ingredient cooking, this may not be the best option for you.
Purchasing from local farmers helps to support the local economy, fuel your optimal health, and improve the environment by reducing the distance that food travels from farm to plate. Chat up your local farmers at the farmers markets and be curious and open-minded – I think you’ll be surprised at how much valuable knowledge you’ll learn.
Photo Credit: Catherine Farquharson for The UnDiet Cookbook
Free Resource Library
Enjoy more than 40 downloadable guides, recipes, and resources.
Open and honest communication serves as the foundation on which successful relationships are built. It helps you understand your partner and fosters deeper intimacy in the relationship. However, everyday conversations can sometimes limit the scope of communication, especially when it comes to getting your man to open up. Armed with some seemingly random questions to ask your boyfriend you can break down these walls and get to know your partner like the back of your hand.
I say “seemingly” random because while these questions come across as completely casual, they can help you learn so much about your significant other. In the process, you may even identify red flags and incompatibilities, or figure out ways to deepen your connection. Not to mention, they offer an opportunity to share some light-hearted moments that can make you feel closer to your guy.
From silly relationship questions to personal, unique, fun, and crazy questions to ask your boyfriend, here is an exhaustive list to help you get started.
250 Random Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend
So, how was your day? What did you do? What did you have for lunch? What do you want for dinner? Anything exciting happen today? And what else? Tired of the same monotonous conversation starters that make communication in a relationship flat line? Well, I get that it can be hard to come up with interesting things to talk about, day in and day out.
That’s why I’m taking that load off your shoulders and presenting you with this exhaustive list of the most random questions to ask your boyfriend to spark engaging conversations. Before you get started, a word of caution: don’t hurl them at your guy all at once, lest you make him feel like he is being interrogated. Use them contextually and space them out to make the most of this compilation of crazy, unique, silly, fun, and personal questions to ask your boyfriend.
Picture this: you are unwinding after a long day, staring at a screen, lazying on a couch, unable to think of a single thing to talk to your boyfriend about. Once in a while, we all have such days. But when this pattern becomes the norm rather than the exception, you can begin to feel the boredom in your relationship with every pore of your being. Save yourself from going down that familiar but dangerous rabbit hole with these fun questions you can ask your boyfriend:
Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?
If you could swap lives with any fictional character for a day, who would it be and why?
What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?
If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible?
If you could have any animal as a pet, regardless of practicality, what would you choose?
What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done in public?
If you could live in any era of history, which would you choose?
What’s your favorite dad joke?
If you could instantly become an expert in any skill, what would it be?
What’s the silliest fear you have?
If you were a superhero, what would your superhero name and power be?
If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What’s the craziest adventure you’ve ever been on?
If you could visit any fictional world, where would you go?
What’s the most bizarre food you’ve ever tried?
If you could have any job for a day, what would it be?
What’s the funniest movie you’ve ever seen?
If you could time travel to any point in your life, which moment would you choose?
Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?
What’s your favorite joke that never fails to make you laugh?
If you could teleport anywhere right now, where would you go?
What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
If you could master any dance move, what would it be?
What’s the most unusual talent you have?
If you could spend a day with any celebrity, who would it be?
What’s the weirdest fact you know?
If you could have any mythical creature as a pet, what would it be?
What’s the funniest thing that’s happened to you recently?
If you could have any fictional character as a best friend, who would it be?
What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
If you could switch lives with any animal for a day, which would you choose?
What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a crush?
If you could have any talent without practicing, what would it be?
What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve heard?
If you could have any superpower for a day, what would you choose?
What’s your favorite cartoon character?
If you could be any age for a week, what age would you choose?
What’s the most absurd thing you believed as a child?
If you could only watch one TV show for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What’s the most random thing you’ve ever bought?
If you could invent a holiday, what would it celebrate?
What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done on a date?
If you could have any type of food delivered to you right now, what would it be?
What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had that you can remember?
If you could be any fictional character’s sidekick, who would you choose?
What’s the most ridiculous nickname you’ve ever had?
If you could transform into any animal at will, which would it be?
What’s the silliest thing you’ve ever been afraid of?
If you could be a contestant on any game show, which would you choose?
These fun questions you can ask your boyfriend are bound to elicit some interesting, even hilarious responses. Use those as your cue to build up the conversation, and you’ll never run out of things to talk about.
50 silly relationship questions to ask your boyfriend
Move on from asking, “So, where is this going?” and “What’s next for us?” Shake things up with some silly relationship questions that don’t sound as intimidating but can offer just as clear an insight into your partner’s view of the relationship. Give these random questions to ask your boyfriend about the relationship a try:
If you could replace me with any fictional character, who would it be?
Would you rather fight a hundred duck-sized me or one giant-sized me?
If we were characters in a video game, what would our special powers be?
What’s the weirdest habit you’ve noticed about me?
If we were stranded on a deserted island, which one of us would be more likely to survive?
If you could swap bodies with me for a day, what’s the first thing you would do?
Would you rather have to sing everything you say or dance every time you walk?
If we were animals, what animals do you think we would be?
What would be your superhero catchphrase if you were saving me from danger?
If we were in a horror movie, who do you think would survive until the end?
If we were to compete in a talent show together, what would our talent be?
If we were food, what dish do you think we would be?
If we were to write a silly song together, what would it be about?
If we were characters in a comic strip, what would our catchphrase be?
If we could only have one pet peeve in common, what would it be?
If we were to star in a reality TV show, what would it be called?
If we were to create a theme park together, what would be its main attractions?
If we were to invent a new holiday, what would it celebrate and how would we celebrate it?
If we were to switch bodies for a week, what’s the first thing you would do as me?
If we were to compete in a game show together, what game show would it be and who would be the better contestant?
If we were to have a theme party, what theme would you choose and what would our costumes be?
If we were to star in a buddy cop movie, who would be the good cop and who would be the bad cop?
If we were to swap voices for a day, what funny things would you say in my voice?
If we were to become famous for something silly, what would it be?
If we were to switch places with another couple for a day, who would it be and why?
If we were to create our own planet, what would it be called and what would be its main feature?
What moves would it include?
If we were to become characters in a sitcom, what would be our running gag?
By the time you’re done asking these silly relationship questions (and remember, don’t ask them all in one go), you’ll have a pretty clear idea about how your boo views your connection.
50 personal questions to ask boyfriend to understand him better
Who says random questions to ask your boyfriend can’t have a specific theme or end goal? Use these as an opportunity to get to know your beau better. These personal questions to ask your boyfriend will help you do just that:
What’s your love story? How did you know you were in love with me?
What’s your biggest goal in life right now?
What’s your greatest fear?
What’s something you’ve never told anyone before?
What’s your proudest accomplishment?
What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
What’s your idea of a perfect day?
What’s your biggest regret, if any?
What’s your favorite childhood memory and why?
What’s the most challenging obstacle you’ve overcome?
What’s a habit or behavior of mine that you find endearing?
What’s something you wish you could change about yourself?
What’s your favorite memory of us together?
What’s the most significant sacrifice you’ve made for someone you love?
What’s your opinion on long-term commitment?
What’s your definition of a fulfilling life?
What’s your stance on having children, if you’ve thought about it?
What’s your most cherished value or belief, and where does it come from?
What’s your vision for our future together?
When asked at the right time and in the right manner, these personal questions to ask your boyfriend can yield some interesting responses — some of which may surprise or intrigue you.
Since the goal here is to understand your partner better and catch a sneak peek into the inner workings of their mind, why not push the envelope with some unique questions to ask your boyfriend? Here is a compilation for you to take inspiration from:
If you could have any mythical creature as a pet, which would you choose and why?
If you were a character in a video game, what would your special ability be?
If you could be fluent in any language instantly, which would you choose and why?
If you could have a dinner party with any five historical figures, who would you invite?
If you could have a conversation with any animal, which one would you choose and what would you talk about?
If you could live in any fictional universe, which one would you pick and why?
If you could only eat one cuisine for the rest of your life, which would it be?
If you could visit any planet in the solar system, which would you go to first?
If you could have any skill or talent without needing to practice, what would it be?
If you could have a robot assistant to help with one thing in your life, what would you want it to do?
If you could have any job in the world for a day, what would it be and why?
If you could design your dream house, what unique feature would it have?
If you could time travel to any period in history for a day, where and when would you go?
If you could be any fictional character for a day, who would you choose and what would you do?
If you could invent a new holiday, what would it celebrate and how would you celebrate it?
If you could have any piece of technology from a movie or TV show, what would it be?
If you could swap lives with any celebrity for a week, who would it be and why?
If you could have any vehicle (real or fictional) for transportation, what would you choose?
If you could have any animal feature (e.g., wings, night vision, etc.), what would it be?
If you could be a master of any form of art (painting, music, etc.), which would you choose?
If you could have any historical artifact or relic, what would you want to own?
If you could have any superpower but it came with a quirky limitation, what would it be?
If you could solve one global problem overnight, which one would you choose?
If you could visit any famous landmark or monument, which would you pick?
If you could be any fantasy race (elf, dwarf, etc.), which would you choose?
If you could have any piece of knowledge instantly, what would you want to know?
If you could have a personal theme song that played whenever you entered a room, what would it be?
If you could be a character in any book, who would you be and why?
If you could possess any fictional artifact (e.g., the One Ring, Excalibur), what would it be?
If you could have a magical ability related to nature (e.g., control over plants), what would it be?
If you could live in any era of history, which would you choose and why?
If you could communicate with any type of creature (besides humans), what would you choose?
If you could bring one fictional character to life, who would you pick?
If you could have any type of personal assistant (real or fictional), who or what would it be?
If you could transform into any mythical creature at will, what would it be?
If you could have any type of fantastical pet (dragon, unicorn, etc.), what would you choose?
If you could have a magical wardrobe that led to any fictional world, where would you want it to go?
If you could have any form of telekinesis, what would you want to control?
If you could create your own island paradise, what would it look like and who would live there?
If you could have any form of time manipulation ability, what would you want to do with it?
If you could have any type of magic potion, what would it do?
If you could have a conversation with any fictional character, who would it be and why?
If you could have any piece of futuristic technology, what would you want it to do?
If you could have any form of shapeshifting ability, what would you want to transform into?
If you could live in any fantastical realm (e.g., Middle-earth, Narnia), which would you choose?
If you could have a magical companion (real or fictional), who or what would it be?
If you could have any type of adventure (real or fictional), what would it entail?
If you could have any type of magical artifact (e.g., a wand, a ring), what would it be and why?
If you could have any type of transportation (real or fictional), what would you want it to be?
If you could have any type of time-traveling device, where and when would you want to go first?
These unique questions to ask your boyfriend offer you a glimpse into your partner’s fantasies, hopes, dreams, aspirations, and fears. They can be a great tool to foster deeper emotional intimacy in the relationship.
50 crazy questions to ask your boyfriend to stir up exciting conversations
While you’re at it, why not push the limits with some crazy questions to ask your boyfriend? Being serious and proper at all times is overrated if you ask me. Adult life bogs us down with so many challenges and responsibilities at every step of the way. We owe it to ourselves to keep that childlike abandon within us alive.
Besides, it is the moments of fun, laughter, silliness, and craziness that help become memories of a lifetime. So, don’t shy away from these crazy, random questions to ask your boyfriend:
If you could shrink down to the size of a bug for a day, what would you do?
Would you rather have spaghetti for hair or have to sneeze but never actually sneeze?
If you woke up one morning and found out you were the last person on Earth, what would you do first?
If you could have any animal as a sidekick, what would it be and why?
Would you rather be able to talk to animals or speak every language in the world?
If you could turn any object into a functioning spaceship, what would it be?
If you could have a personal theme song that played whenever you walked into a room, what would it be?
Would you rather be able to teleport or have the ability to fly, but only two feet off the ground?
If you could swap bodies with any person for a day, who would it be and what would you do?
If you could live in any fictional world from a book or movie, where would you choose to live?
Would you rather have the ability to breathe underwater or the ability to fly but only at walking speed?
If you could have any superhero power but it only worked when you were asleep, what would you choose?
If you could have any celebrity narrate your life, who would you choose?
Would you rather have fingers for toes or toes for fingers?
If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
If you could have any mythical creature as a roommate, what would it be and why?
Would you rather have the ability to turn invisible or be able to read minds, but only when people are thinking about food?
If you could live in any era of history, which would you choose and why?
If you could create your own holiday, what would it celebrate and how would you celebrate it?
Would you rather have the ability to control the weather or control time?
If you could be any cartoon character for a day, who would you be and why?
If you could have any object come to life and be your loyal companion, what would it be?
Would you rather have the ability to talk to plants or have plants grow to enormous sizes when you’re happy?
If you could have any superpower but it only worked in the dark, what would you choose?
If you could have any type of food rain from the sky, what would you want it to be?
Would you rather be able to breathe fire or have super strength but only when you’re singing?
If you could have any creature as a pet, mythical or real, what would it be?
If you could swap lives with any fictional character for a week, who would it be and why?
Would you rather have the ability to talk to machines or have everything you touch turn into chocolate?
If you could have any type of transportation, real or fictional, what would it be?
If you could have any famous painting come to life and hang out with you, which would it be?
Would you rather have the ability to never feel pain or never feel tiredness?
If you could have any animal’s ability, what would it be and how would you use it?
If you could have any household item transform into a robot assistant, what would it be?
Would you rather have the ability to control time or have the ability to freeze time but only for five seconds at a time?
If you could have any celebrity be your personal chef, who would you choose?
If you could have any object become indestructible, what would you want it to be?
Would you rather be able to talk to aliens or have the ability to instantly teleport anywhere in the world?
If you could have any creature as a mount for transportation, what would it be?
If you could have any fictional weapon, what would it be and how would you use it?
Would you rather have the ability to communicate with ghosts or have the ability to see into the future, but only five minutes ahead?
If you could have any type of food grow on trees, what would you want it to be?
If you could have any object grant you three wishes, what would it be?
Would you rather have the ability to control people’s dreams or have the ability to make anyone fall asleep instantly?
If you could have any type of animal’s sense, what would it be and how would you use it?
If you could have any object as your own personal spaceship, what would it be?
Would you rather have the ability to breathe underwater or have the ability to talk to animals, but only sea creatures?
If you could have any fictional creature as a best friend, what would it be?
If you could have any type of food never go bad, what would you want it to be?
Would you rather have the ability to control fire or have the ability to control electricity, but only when you’re dancing?
Use these crazy questions to ask your boyfriend to lighten up a dull evening or add a twist to a date night. I promise you will be doubling over with laughter in no time.
As long as your partner is game and answers sportingly, these random questions to ask your boyfriend can stir fun, excitement, and laughter into your relationship. Use them well. And don’t shy away from answering honestly when your partner throws the same questions back at ya!
You knew deep down it was real. When the rough version of Drake’s “Push Ups” leaked online Saturday afternoon, the big question at first was: Was it actually AI? If it was, it would mean someone random had just penned a pretty competent diss track aimed at Kendrick Lamar, Metro Boomin, and a half dozen other rap luminaries. If it wasn’t, it would mean that Aubrey had finally taken the gloves off and was ready to chip a nail. Sure, there were a few lines anyone steeped in Drake lore could’ve gotten off. But AI could never get that specific in its barbs, and AI certainly could never replicate that patented Drake sigh.
A few hours later, Drake confirmed as much by releasing the full, finished track. He swapped out the beat—the rough cut evoked Tupac’s classic “Hit ’Em Up,” while the final paid homage to Biggie’s “What’s Beef?”—and cut a few lines aimed at Rozay (though the Teflon Don didn’t forget; more on that later). But it was all there: the response the rap world had been waiting on since Kendrick Lamar poked the Canadian bear three weeks ago on “Like That.”
It’s admittedly not the nuclear detonation Joe Budden promised, but “Push Ups (Drop and Give Me 50)” makes it clear that Drake is up for the fight that rap fans have been waiting on for a generation. He landed disses about Kendrick’s height and former label situation, threw some petty shade at Future and Metro, and then chucked a few grenades at the Weeknd and his team. But if you’ve been anywhere near your For You page this weekend, then you know there’s so much more. (J. Cole behind enemy lines? Nose jobs? Dockers? French Montana? Ja Morant?!) Let’s take a look at the fallout and figure out where things sit—and more importantly, where they could go from here. First up …
How did we get here?
Chances are, if you’re reading this, it’s too late for me to explain. But it’s worth recapping how rap’s cold war erupted into a full-blown civil war (and on the weekend Alex Garland released Civil War, naturally). My colleague Justin Charity already ran through a timeline of the Drake-Kendrick feud, which for a decade resulted in little more than subliminal shots and KTT2 fanfic. But the simmering beef was tossed into the fire in March thanks to two unlikely provocateurs: Future and Metro Boomin. The former had seemingly taken offense to a For All the Dogs track that most fans had assumed was a tribute to Drake’s one-time collaborator. (Turns out rapping about how your buddy only sleeps with taken women is not a compliment, though you could forgive us for assuming the man behind “Fuck Russell” would consider it a good thing.) In the case of Metro, the superproducer behind a handful of Drake’s biggest hits started poking Aubrey late last year over award shows, of all things. Back then, Drake responded with some of his typical tough-guy posturing, but then tweets were deleted and everyone put it on the back burner.
But never underestimate the pettiness of two men who name albums stuff like WE DON’T TRUST YOU and WE STILL DON’T TRUST YOU. The former came out last month and contains “Like That,” which includes the Archduke Ferdinand moment of this war. On the surface, Kendrick Lamar’s guest verse on “Like That” isn’t a diss on the level of, say, “Takeover” or “The Bridge Is Over.” But it took direct aim at Drake and J. Cole—seemingly for the sin of implying on For All the Dogs’ “First Person Shooter” that the two of them and Kendrick make up rap’s Big Three. (Like all good rap beefs, this one seems to be built on the smallest of slights; shout-out to the mic on LL Cool J’s arm.) “Like That” is light on specifics and heavy on old-school rap-battle bragging. (Fitting for the Rodney-O & Joe Cooley–sampling beat.) But what it lacks in pointedness, it makes up for with audaciousness: Here was Kendrick finally taking shots at an artist who’s been too big to fail for too long.
But beyond giving Rap Twitter enough fodder for a few lifetimes, “Like That” did a few other things:
It hit no. 1 on the Hot 100 and worked its way into club rotation—virtually unheard of for a diss track, though not unlike Drake’s casual Meek Mill evisceration, “Back to Back.”
It gave everyone else clearance to pile on Drake. And boy, did they.
So does everyone hate Drake now?
The list of assumed Aubrey allies who pumped up “Like That” is shocking: Rick Ross!Travis Scott!LeBron James! But this is what years of subliminal disses and bad vibes will get you. Last Friday, Future and Metro released WE STILL DON’T TRUST YOU, and while there was no one seismic “Like That” moment, the 25-track album was littered with guests taking shots at Drake. The Weeknd made fun of him for having leaks in his camp and having “shooters making TikToks.” (Over an Isley Brothers sample!) Rihanna’s babies’ father showed up to brag about securing the very thing Drake’s always coveted. And maybe most damningly, J. Cole showed up on the Disc 1 closer, “Red Leather.” Jermaine didn’t diss his tour mate, and it’s unclear when he actually recorded the verse. But given what transpired a week earlier—when Cole released a tepid diss song about Kendrick, then apologized two nights later, saying he was confused and misled—the Dreamville head’s mere presence felt like Future and Metro were holding an enemy combatant hostage. Which, let’s hope not, because we already know Cole is the type to break under questioning.
So, J. Cole actually apologized? That wasn’t just some strange dream I had?
As my buddy Jeff Weiss said: Apologizing is a sign that Cole is a mature, thoughtful human. And it’s also the reason we never want to hear his music again.
Everyone should commend J Cole for being a mature, empathetic, rational, and emotionally attuned human being. This is also why I never wanted to listen to his music.
OK, so what we came here for: Drake finally responded? Is it any good?
For weeks, the most we had heard from Drake was him making trigger fingers at the giant Travis Scott facsimile he brought on tour for “SICKO MODE” performances. (Anytime you’re screaming at a floating animatronic head you paid for, you are officially Down Bad.) But Drake broke his relative silence on Saturday with “Push Ups (Drop and Give Me 50).”
And honestly, it’s fairly impressive, especially when you consider the initial wave of AI rumors—and especially when considering “Like That” has Drake on the defensive for one of the few times in his career. A self-described “20 v. 1,” “Push Ups” takes on almost everyone who had dared come at him in recent weeks. (A$AP Rocky seemingly goes ignored, which says more about Rocky than Drake.) The barbs at Future are mild (“Your first no. 1, I had to put it in your hand” … OK, and?), and Drake swats Metro Boomin away like an annoying gnat with a MIDI controller. (Giving the producer only the tossed-off diss “Shut your ho ass up and make some drums” feels like the modern-day equivalent of Jay-Z giving his lesser rivals only half a bar on “Takeover.”) But the shots at Rick Ross, the Weeknd, and Kendrick are more pointed—and all work to varying degrees. Let’s take those in reverse order.
Did Drake respond to Kendrick like he needed to?
Kendrick is admittedly a tough person to diss. He’s a critically beloved, Pulitzer-winning artist who keeps his business to himself (unless he’s having double-album-long therapy sessions). Sure, he’s prone to theater-kid dramatics—the “alien voice/jazz beat” jokes were flying all weekend—but his track record is mostly unimpeachable. (That’s something J. Cole learned the hard way when he tried to lightly critique Kendrick’s catalog on “7 Minute Drill.”) But on “Push Ups” Drake did about as well as you could reasonably expect, especially assuming this is simply his opening salvo.
The easiest, most obvious jokes come at the expense of the famously short Kendrick’s height. (Most notably, “How the fuck you big steppin’ with a size seven men’s on?”—a pretty great punch line, if I do say so myself.) Those have caused a lot of moralizing, as though Drake should be above schoolyard-bully-style insults. But it ignores the reality that rap beef has always revolved around—and often been at its best when it leans into—childish name-calling. (Let’s never forget that “Ether”—widely considered one of the best diss tracks ever, to the point that the title has been a go-to verb in these kinds of battles—includes a reference to “Gay-Z and Cock-A-Fella Records.”)
But some of the other lines land pretty hard. For Drake—one of the biggest pop stars in history—to mock Kendrick for doing songs with Maroon 5 and Taylor Swift seems like a silly proposition on the surface. But it works because (1) Drake has never stooped to those specific levels of pandering, (2) Drake isn’t a Pulitzer-winning artist who’s staked his reputation on high art, and (3) the bars are, simply put, pretty good. (“You better make it witty!”) The Prince/Michael Jackson lines—a response to Kendrick on “Like That,” which was a response to Drake on “First Person Shooter,” if you’re updating your flow chart at home—are inspired. (“What’s a prince to a king? He a son” is an entendre that would make my colleague and noted Kendrick lover Cole Cuchna at Dissect proud. Lest you forget, Jackson’s son is literally named Prince.) And of course, there’s the Whitney/Bodyguard line, which is a reference to not only the diamond-selling singer and her most famous movie role, but also seemingly an allusion to Kendrick’s partner, Whitney Alford. Assuming it is a double entendre—and there’s little reason to doubt that it is—it’s impossible not to recall that Whitney Houston’s character slept with her bodyguard. We have no evidence that anything happened in Kendrick’s life to evoke that line, and I’m struggling to find a suggestion of something happening outside of “Push Ups,” but Drake’s too savvy not to understand what he was doing.
But wait—hasn’t Drake gotten in trouble for mentioning significant others before?
You’d figure he’d know better by now! In 2018, after years of subliminals fired at him by Pusha T, Drake responded with “Duppy Freestyle.” Amid a bunch of lukewarm shots about Pusha lying about his drug-dealing prowess, Drake made one of the worst mistakes of his career. “I told you keep playin’ with my name / And I’ma let it ring on you like Virginia Williams,” he rapped, invoking Pusha’s then fiancée, now wife, and giving Push carte blanche to respond however he thought appropriate. Within days, we had “The Story of Adidon” and “you are hiding a child,” bullying Drake into being a father publicly. It’s a blemish that no number of no. 1 records can ever fully erase.
Is Drake hiding another child?
You know that somewhere, Pusha T and his private investigator are waiting to get tagged into this mess, but at the moment, we can only assume that Drake’s not playing border control yet again. We can also assume, however, that of everything Drake said about Kendrick, this will be the line that truly lights the fuse on this powder keg.
What about this Top Dawg business on “Push Ups”?
If there’s fault to be found with Drake’s response, it’s that the central premise falls apart under light scrutiny. The “drop and give me 50” hook is a slick reference to infamous shit talker Curtis Jackson. But it’s also a callback to a video on Kendrick’s burner Instagram of him doing push-ups. On yet another level, the implication is that Kendrick is splitting as much as 50 percent of his profits with Top Dawg Entertainment, the label he was signed to for 17 years. It’s a fairly clever conceit—“The way you doin’ splits, bitch, your pants might rip” is a little bit of a groaner, but that’s what you sign up for with Drake—however, it ignores reality. First, Kendrick famously left TDE in 2022 to start a new venture named pgLang (distributed by Columbia Records, which also makes the Interscope lines in “Push Ups” feel dated at best). Second, up through Scorpion, Drake was signed to Young Money, an imprint of Cash Money. The parent label, of course, is run by Birdman, and it was once sued by Lil Wayne for $51 million for violating his contract and withholding vast amounts of money. As Pusha once rapped—directly to Drake—“The M’s count different when Baby divide the pie.”
The lesson here: Let the rapper who is not in an exploitative contract cast the first stone.
OK, but what about the Weeknd? Where does a singer fit into this?
In hindsight, one of the strangest quirks of 21st-century pop music is that two of the three biggest stars in the business come from Toronto. That should make them natural allies, if not friends—aren’t Canadians supposed to be nice?—but Drake and the Weeknd have been anything but. They collaborated in 2011 on Take Care’s “Crew Love,” which began life as a solo Weeknd song before Abel gifted it to Drake. (While possibly gifting him much more.) But from there, a rift began: The Weeknd signed with Republic instead of OVO (a move no one can fault him for when you look at his career next to, say, PartyNextDoor’s); rumors surfaced about Drake dating the Weeknd’s ex Bella Hadid; and despite some one-off collaborations and show appearances, they never seemed to like each other very much. (The Weeknd appears to be as much of a fan of the hiding-a-child line as we are at The Ringer.)
So all things told, it wasn’t a complete shock when the Weeknd popped up on WE STILL DON’T TRUST YOU last Friday, gleefully crooning not-so-veiled Drake disses on “All to Myself.” (It’s worth pausing again to highlight “they shooters making TikToks,” an honestly inspired slight that pretty much sums up the Drake experience.) But Aubrey responded in kind on “Push Ups.” He fires a few shots at the Weeknd’s manager, Cash, claiming that he used to be a “blunt runner” for Chubbs, Drake’s head of security. (Update your flow chart—we are deep into Canadian music politics.) And more pointedly, he implies the Weeknd is showering men with gifts in exchange for gifts. It doesn’t matter that Drake may be evolved enough to admit he gets his nails done. You know what they say: It’s not a real rap beef until someone gets homophobic.
OK, but what about Rick Ross? I thought he and Drake were friends?
This may have been the most surprising development of the past three weeks. After a handful of classic collabs between them over a dozen or so years, it turns out that Rick Ross and Drake just don’t like each other. In the wake of “Like That,” Rozay posted an IG story of him bumping Kendrick’s diss. So when it came time for “Push Ups,” Drake made it clear he couldn’t overlook: He made allusions to Ross’s time as a correctional officer, his age, and in the leaked early demo version of “Push Ups,” Ross’s relationship with Diddy, who is currently the subject of a sex trafficking investigation and several sexual misconduct and abuse lawsuits. That line didn’t make the final version of “Push Ups,” but Ross obviously didn’t take it lightly.
Why is the Rick Ross response the first track in this sprawling beef that feels like a true diss song?
Maybe it was the fact that the song was spread through sketchy MP3 sites and Dat Piff’s YouTube channel. Or maybe it was the pure vitriol. But if you wanted real beef, you’ve finally got it. Over the course of three verses, the Boss of All Bosses mocks Drake for leaks in his camp, using ghostwriters (an old reliable), and getting put on only because of Lil Wayne, all while repeatedly calling Aubrey a “white boy.” (It’s complicated.) It’s the type of directness and specificity that “Like That” lacked—but it also, like any great Rick Ross song, sounds luxurious. The most damning bits of “Champagne Moments,” however, come during the spoken word outro, when Ross [deep breath] says Drake is wearing funny clothes at his shows to hide the fact his six-pack is gone, that he also wears Dockers with no underwear (???), and that he had a nose job “to make [his] nose smaller than [his] father nose,” all because he was ashamed of his race. (Like I said, it’s complicated.)
Wait, Drake had a nose job?!?!
Before you go Googling “Drake nose job,” just know that Drake and his mother have been texting about it, and they seem to think it’s silly (and possibly racist).
I’m cackling at the thought of Drake having to explain who Rick Ross is to his mom the same way I would have to with mine. But bringing Sandi into this hasn’t stopped Rozay from doubling down.
So where does French Montana fit into this massive beef?
As is typically the case with French, on the fringes. During that lengthy outro, Ross said he got involved only because Drake had sent a cease-and-desist order to French Montana’s team to have a verse of his removed from February’s Mac & Cheese 5. Well, the C&D worked because it doesn’t appear on French’s mixtape. But we now have a Streisand-effect situation on our hands because the verse is online and people are paying attention. And boy …
the unreleased Drake verse that Rick Ross said Drake sent a cease and desist to French Montana to prevent it from dropping
Uh … so which rapper’s wife is Drake alluding to sleeping with?
The speculation is that Drake is alluding to Kim Kardashian, Kanye’s ex-wife. And while we have no firm evidence that happened, Kim’s voice does appear prominently on last year’s “Search & Rescue.” (It’s complicated, messy, and petty—the only big three Drake really cares about.)
Is Kanye going to get involved now?
Let’s just hope we can get J. Prince on the line before someone (read: Kanye) does something even more foolish. We shudder to think what disses his brain would come up with.
And you said something about Ja Morant?
Of all the (alleged) targets on “Push Ups,” the most unexpected isn’t even a rapper or singer. Ja Morant—the NBA All-Star who has been suspended by the league twice for flashing guns on IG Live—seemingly caught a stray from Drake. Not that it was entirely undeserved, because …
It would seem Ja took time away from shoulder rehab to insert himself in the biggest rap feud of the decade.
Toward the end of “Push Ups,” Drake addresses the “hooper that be bustin’ out the griddy,” seemingly a reference to Ja’s preferred means of celebration. But Drake also references that “little heartbroken Twitter shit,” possibly an acknowledgment of the rumors that he went on a date with Ja’s ex Brooklyn Nikole. (One day, we’ll have a conversation about how women get used as pawns in these kinds of battles. But for now, I’ll just highlight how this puts Drake’s song in the lineage of another Jay-Z diss track, “Super Ugly”—the “me and the boy AI” song. Not exactly a proud lineage with that one.)
Quite possibly! While “Push Ups” wasn’t exactly nuclear, it was still effective—and easily the best song to come out of the battle so far. And yet it feels like Round 1 of this battle is a draw, at best. Despite being light on specifics, Kendrick’s “Like That” verse did more damage than Drake’s four-minute, tea-spilling response. The most memorable lines to come out of Saturday may have been from Ross’s monologue about Dockers and cosmetic surgery. And Future and Metro have dropped two of the three best albums of the year in less than a month. You have to assume Kendrick has something else lined up—Drake alluded to as much in the original leaked version of “Push Ups,” suggesting that K.Dot’s song was recorded four years ago—and at this point, you have to assume someone else will jump into this Royal Rumble. (Cut to Pusha in the corner rubbing his hands together like Birdman.) “Push Ups” showed Drake can play effective defense—and he needed to after the embarrassment of “Adidon” six years ago—but if this was his best shot, Kendrick may not need to even say much in response to walk away the winner. (Though if we’re to believe this ScHoolboy Q tweet, we may find out if that’s the case soon.)
But who do you think is going to win?
Well, the easy answer is DJ Akademiks’s engagement. But none of these tracks are likely to change anyone’s mind. The Drake haters have already deemed the response trash, Aubrey’s Angels have already declared this the next “Hit ’Em Up,” and A$AP Rocky can’t even get a crumb of a response, but is still Rihanna’s partner. Maybe the actual winner is us because rap hasn’t been this fun in years. (For this writer, since the first time I heard the phrase “you are hiding a child,” if I’m being honest.) Just sit back and enjoy, because as Rick Ross promised, we’re only in the first quarter.
OK, one last question: Could they all still make up?
J. Cole’s response to this whole mess is admirable on a personal level, but embarrassing on a competitive level. Yet his apology also highlights a few realities of the situation: (1) Aside from Metro, these are all men hovering around the age of 40, and (2) no one has said anything they can’t take back yet. (Well, maybe aside from Ricky.) “I’m a better rapper than you” or “you’re short” or “your last album wasn’t that great” isn’t exactly a lethal blow. And even when it does get extremely personal, there’s precedent for rappers burying the hatchet—it took a few years, but eventually Nas and Jay-Z became collaborators. For my money, I expect we’ll see Drake, Kendrick, and Cole playing nice on a song (produced by Metro) at some point in the distant future. (Hopefully not with Future, though—Nayvadius is too cool for that shit.)
But you know, even if this alleged Big Three won’t get on a track together, we always have AI to make that collaboration a (virtual) reality. By that time, it’ll probably even be able to get the Drake sigh right. It may even give us an answer to what J. Cole was thinking.
Last week, the Missouri Department of Elementary and Secondary Education (DESE), in partnership with SAS, launched the Missouri Data Visualization Tool (MO DVT), a web-based application that offers easy-to-use reports and analysis on academic performance, including achievement and growth data aggregated by subject, year, and grade. MO DVT was created in response to stakeholder questions about interpreting and using Missouri Growth Model data.
I was able to get into the weeds with Missouri Commissioner of Education Margie Vandeven & Dr. John White, VP of SAS Education Visualization and Analytics Solutions (EVAAS) to discuss the genesis and strategic goals of the MO DVT, the integration with Missouri’s broader educational strategies, and how quality data is improving decision-making in Missouri schools.
According to both Margie and John, the tool allows educators to access longitudinal data on student performance, track progress over time, and identify areas for improvement. It provides insights at both individual student and group levels, enabling teachers to tailor instruction to meet diverse student needs. Additionally, it supports decision-making at the policy level by analyzing academic impacts, such as the effectiveness of a four-day school week.
By actually using the wealth of available data, the emphasis is now on translating it into meaningful insights to drive improvements in teaching and learning. The goal is to foster a culture of continuous improvement and empower educators with the tools needed to support student success.
Some highlights of the conversation:
Actionable Data for Teachers: The program aims to make growth data actionable for teachers, moving beyond using it solely for accountability purposes to inform classroom instruction and support individual student needs effectively.
Privacy and Security: Measures are in place to ensure data privacy and security, with access restricted to authorized personnel and adherence to regulations like FERPA.
Longitudinal Tracking: Educators can track student progress over time, analyze historical data, and make projections for future performance, enabling targeted interventions and support.
Group-Level Insights: The tool provides insights at both individual student and group levels, allowing educators to identify trends, disparities, and best practices among different student populations.
Policy-Level Decision Making: The program supports policy-level decision-making by analyzing academic impacts, such as the effectiveness of initiatives like the four-day school week, to inform future strategies and interventions.
Promotion of Data Literacy: Educators are encouraged to engage with the data to understand student performance trends, measure growth, and identify areas for improvement, fostering a culture of data-driven decision-making in education.
Continuous Improvement: The overarching goal is to foster a culture of continuous improvement in education, leveraging data insights to drive positive outcomes for students and empower educators with the tools and knowledge needed for success.
Below is a machine-generated transcript of the recording:
Transcript
00:00:04 Speaker 1
OK, great. Thanks so much for joining me today. I really appreciate your time. I know you’re busy. Lots of news. Let’s jump right into it. Doctor, maybe you can start by just talking about the program where it began. How long has it been in process to where we’ve gotten to the point now that it’s an active tool for your users?
00:00:23 Speaker 2
So in the state of Missouri, we have a history of of using growth data to inform our accountability decisions. But what we’re doing now is moving to a step further to to not just let it inform accountability policy decision making at the state level, but really making the data actionable for our teachers in the classroom.
00:00:45 Speaker 2
And that’s really where it’s at. We know that’s that’s what helps improve and performance for our students is when we can actually take data and make it an A usable, actionable place for our teachers.
00:00:59 Speaker 1
Yeah. And John, I know you’ve been working in this field for a long time. It used to be, at least when it came to our readers and listeners over the years that sometimes data would be seen as a dirty word, a little bit of a boogeyman, especially when you would get down to the teacher level, many of whom consider themselves.
00:01:19 Speaker 1
Artists, not necessarily scientists when it comes to their kids and how to teach their kids. I think a lot of that has changed, but I think there’s still some remnants of it. Maybe you could talk a little bit about how you see.
00:01:32 Speaker 1
The these tools and I think would support when when Doctor mentioned that it is for the teachers, not necessarily for the the Superintendent or the principal, right.
00:01:42 Speaker 3
Yeah, that’s right. So what this tool really allows is for people to see longitudinal data over time at the student level, track the progress of students through all the way starting from 3rd grade all the way through whatever grade they may be sitting in in that year with what, what teacher that.
00:02:02 Speaker 3
Maybe teaching them at that time?
00:02:05 Speaker 3
So allowing a teacher to have access to how much growth a student made in previous years and in the most recent year can be really helpful in trying to understand what may be best for an individual student. Now the data not only is available at the student by student level, but also aggregated.
00:02:24 Speaker 3
At the group level, maybe for schools and for Elias, so schools and Elias can reflect on trends in growth data to see if they implemented different strategies in previous years. What may have worked best to help make the most growth possible with the different groups of students.
00:02:42
Yeah.
00:02:43 Speaker 1
So and I I mentioned the cut of the data is a dirty word and sometimes seen as a boogeyman and one of the big reasons for that over the years has been the the worry about student privacy, right. And data privacy and the use of that. Maybe you could talk about how this solution is able to kind of distinguish between you’re talking about getting that at the granular level with a particular.
00:03:05 Speaker 1
Student. I’ll assume that there is protections in there in terms of that data when it comes to not only test scores, but maybe ISP’s or behavioral sort of data.
00:03:17
Yes.
00:03:17 Speaker 3
That’s absolutely right. So what the system is, is there is a public site access, but that available that data is only available in the aggregate level at the school in LA kind of aggregated level. But you have to have login credentials for any individual access to get into the system and see individual student level.
00:03:38 Speaker 3
You can.
00:03:39 Speaker 3
Then you know it would be dependent upon the school in which a an educator is at, for what individual students that they are able to access and see data for. So we certainly follow all the security standards and requirements as well as legislation like FERPA to make sure that only the.
00:03:59 Speaker 3
Appropriate individual educators have access to the appropriate student level.
00:04:05 Speaker 2
Yeah. And I’ll just, I’ll just piggyback on that. I think that’s probably the very first thing we.
00:04:09 Speaker 2
Need to assure.
00:04:10 Speaker 2
Everyone of is that this is always protected data to the highest level that we can ensure that our our parents are counting on that. We certainly make sure that all those protocols are in place.
00:04:22 Speaker 1
Yeah. Can you paint me?
00:04:24 Speaker 1
A little bit of kind of a.
00:04:25 Speaker 1
Day in the life.
00:04:26 Speaker 1
When it comes to the use of this, especially when you’re talking about maybe a teacher, I mean just kind of walk through the day is this, is this still intended to be used on a daily basis or on something maybe at the end of the quarter when they’re compiling grades? Can you give me some real world examples of of how you intend it to be?
00:04:46 Speaker 2
Well, I’ll, I’ll speak from the day in the life of of us at a policy level and then try to bring it down to the, to the teacher level. So again these the the particular model that we are currently using is is still dependent upon that end of the year State assessment data that we get that.
00:05:04 Speaker 2
Has historically been important, but sometimes falling a little flat, and here’s what I.
00:05:09 Speaker 2
Mean by that, if we.
00:05:10 Speaker 2
Focus solely on the proficient score. Like if we just look at where a child scores on the proficient level, then that becomes the target for teachers or for parents or for the students even. And what we’ve learned over I think over since the implementation, particularly of NCLB.
00:05:30 Speaker 2
Over a decade ago is, if you focus just on proficiency, you can lose sight of kids on both ends of of that spectrum there. So those kids that are really scoring.
00:05:40 Speaker 2
Well, sometimes can be that they’re going to score proficient no matter what this is. This is a value added model that says for all kids, even those highest performing, how do we make sure that we are driving improvement at every level. So all those kids get get paid very close attention to and all teachers pay attention to every kid.
00:06:01 Speaker 2
Don’t get me wrong, they certainly do. But I’m talking about from the.
00:06:04 Speaker 2
State level when?
00:06:05 Speaker 2
We used to hear a term that.
00:06:10 Speaker 2
Sometimes teachers or school districts would refer to as our bubble kids, like kids who are just about to get over one level into proficiency, and what the growth model does, it says, hey, let’s pay attention to every single child on that roster and let’s see how far whether they’re well below proficiency. And we’re going to move them towards that or whether they’re.
00:06:30 Speaker 2
Well above proficiency, and we’re going to continue to make sure that we’re pushing those highest.
00:06:36 Speaker 2
Achievers, even higher. So for us at the state level, that’s how I like to look at that data and say we are paying attention to every single child. Now how does the teacher take that data then? There, I’m going to let John speak to that a little bit more too. But as a teacher, you want to know who am I most effective with in the classroom? I really moving performance.
00:06:56 Speaker 2
For all kids? Or am I able to step back and say, gosh, I wonder what was?
00:07:00 Speaker 2
Happening with with this group of students that I that I as a teacher, didn’t have as much value. Add to that learning opportunity for those kids because we want to be successful with with all students. And then you add a few more tools to that toolbox. But I I wouldn’t say that that the initial results are a day-to-day operational piece because.
00:07:21 Speaker 2
We are still we we depend on that state state assessment that we get annually to to talk about what’s happening gives us great power at the.
00:07:33 Speaker 2
State Board of Education level or others when we can say which schools really are serving various populations of students and still showing tremendous growth and that’s that. Then you can say what are they doing because we have a like population over here who we’d like to see those kinds of results to. Can we connect those two?
00:07:53 Speaker 2
Schools can we connect those two districts to say, what’s happening at all in the spirit of of improvement and serving our kids better?
00:08:04 Speaker 3
Yeah. So, so I’ll just add a.
00:08:05 Speaker 3
Couple of thoughts here.
00:08:09 Speaker 3
As an educator goes into the system at the individual student level, they would be able to see all of the prior student testing history of that student. So as the Commissioner said, each and every year with new state assessment data, that data would be up loaded into the system and so there would be new assessments.
00:08:26 Speaker 3
Available annually in that system, but to your earlier point point Kevin about security and access throughout the year, students may move from one building to another, and so the system has to be updated to make sure that as students move around the state and move into different buildings, that the permissions and security are updated so that.
00:08:47 Speaker 3
And educator can gain access to the student level data for students sitting in their classroom at that moment. So that’s something that.
00:08:55 Speaker 3
Because get updated throughout the year now within the system, as the Commissioner was saying, so an individual educator can see all of the testing history and math and reading and and all the various subjects on the state assessment system, they can look at how much growth is being made by that student in years past.
00:09:15 Speaker 3
They can also look forward.
00:09:18 Speaker 3
More proactively to get a likelihood of success on a future assessment, so they may be seeing a student in their classroom and we may be saying something like based on all the prior testing data of that individual student and the average experience that you may see, this student has a 70%.
00:09:38 Speaker 3
Chance of being proficient, let’s say, on.
00:09:41 Speaker 3
On their next grade level assessment, they haven’t taken. So as they are administering kind of interim assessments throughout the year to gauge where that student is, they can reflect back on that projection probability to see if that student seems to be on track throughout the year.
00:09:58 Speaker 3
Also, when you aggregate this data up a level, you can see the amount of growth that students were making. Let’s say that were in the lowest achievement group or the highest achievement group. You can disaggregate the student level data into different types of student groups such as.
00:10:15 Speaker 3
Your higher poverty student groups versus lower poverty or English learners versus non-english learners, just to see if.
00:10:24 Speaker 3
An individual group or a certain subject in grade you are making more growth with certain types of students. For example, one group of teachers within fifth grade math might be doing really well with their highest achieving students, but not as well with their lowest achieving students. Or maybe vice versa, so they can reflect on those practices and see.
00:10:44 Speaker 3
You know what can we do a little bit differently with our lowest achieving students to make sure that they’re able to make as much growth and progress as we’re making with some of the other students. And then there’s a lot of comparative features too, that allow a school to see the amount of growth that another school may be making. That’s of a similar.
00:11:05 Speaker 3
On a student group, so they may have similar groups of students within their building or a similar makeup of students within their building their achievement level so they can find another school and locate them to maybe again just share best practices or try to understand a little better of what they may be doing differently that’s having more or less success.
00:11:25 Speaker 3
With their students.
00:11:27 Speaker 1
Yeah, that seems that the idea of sharing best practices is something that is is really strong and when you have the numbers to back it up, it just it makes it that much more powerful. I know that there’s been other at the state level, you know, initiatives such as the, the, the four day school week that has has gone back and forth. Can you talk a little bit about how this sort of data?
00:11:47 Speaker 1
Was able to kind of reinforce some of those ideas.
00:11:53 Speaker 2
Well, I’m going to start off with just talking about what we were trying to garner from the study itself and then I’ll let John speak to how they were able to to do that for us. And so for us in the state of Missouri, again, we have had the option of a four day school week for quite some time now for probably just over a decade that legislation.
00:12:13 Speaker 2
Changed back in a time when it was, it was really to try to address fuel, fuel charges and you know, busting issues and that sort of thing it was. Can we save money?
00:12:26 Speaker 2
And well, that really didn’t come to great fruition. We found out that it wasn’t really a great cost saving metric for it. So a lot of districts did not go to the four day school week. What what we’re seeing now is that a number of our districts are finding it to be what they see as an effective teacher recruitment and retention.
00:12:46 Speaker 2
Strategy. So we had a large number of our districts sort of what what I call the domino effect you you have one district start here and then the neighboring districts start to to follow suit because they’re trying to pull from the same pool pool of teachers.
00:13:02 Speaker 2
And so the statute does give the Department of Elementary and Secondary Education the authority to really look at what is the academic impact of that four day school week.
00:13:11 Speaker 2
And should they?
00:13:11 Speaker 2
Keep that option in place, so that was.
00:13:14 Speaker 2
Our very, very.
00:13:15 Speaker 2
First question is to look at again, going back to the sort of value add concept, does it add value to go to a four day or does the five day?
00:13:23 Speaker 2
And how do?
00:13:24 Speaker 2
We measure that. So that’s when we called upon Sass to say, could we look at the growth data to help inform that academic?
00:13:31 Speaker 2
Side I’ll let John speak to that, but just as a data person, you’ll you’ll know and understand that that only became the the first layer of the onion peel. Once we started talking about academics, then people want to know, well, did it impact attendance? Does it really successfully recruit and doesn’t help retain your teachers?
00:13:48 Speaker 2
What are the?
00:13:49 Speaker 2
How do the families feel about it? What is the social implication? Who’s feeding the kids?
00:13:53 Speaker 2
And there’s a million questions that follow. So I like to be very specific that our request to Sass was to really help us to understand academic impact. And John, I’ll toss it to you now to talk about how that study was done.
00:14:09 Speaker 3
Yeah. So all of our work with the state of Missouri has been around using longitudinal student level data.
00:14:15 Speaker 3
And so we have a lot of information over time at the student level for all of the students in the state on these statewide assessments. And So what that allowed us to do with this particular research question is follow the achievement levels of school districts over time then to.
00:14:35 Speaker 3
Identify where that school district may have made a change to a four day.
00:14:39 Speaker 3
Full week and to see if using their own prior data as kind of a control. Did they have some type of significant impact when they moved to a four day school week on their achievement information and we were able to look at that for all the school districts given they moved at maybe a different point in time to that.
00:14:59 Speaker 3
Four day school week, not only did we look at just kind of generally how high achieving.
00:15:05 Speaker 3
Were they, and how much did that change when they moved to a?
00:15:08 Speaker 3
Four day school.
00:15:08 Speaker 3
Week.
00:15:10 Speaker 3
But we also looked at their growth data, so growth data being a little bit different. You know how much growth are they making with students given all of the prior achievement levels of their students? And did the amount of growth that those school districts did that?
00:15:25 Speaker 3
Amount changed from the point prior to after them moving to that four day school week, and the answer was there was there was really no significant up or down movement in both the achievement or growth data when school districts moved over to that four day school week.
00:15:43 Speaker 3
So we have we didn’t.
00:15:45 Speaker 3
Find anything in terms of a a significant change in those academic indicators.
00:15:50 Speaker 3
As the Commissioner was mentioning.
00:15:52 Speaker 1
Interesting. Well, so now that UM, this tool is launched and is in use, what’s next I.
00:16:00 Speaker 1
Mean what are are there?
00:16:01 Speaker 1
Hopes and goals that maybe some.
00:16:05 Speaker 1
Not some surprises, but some. Some new ideas on which you guys can use this data to further improve the student experience.
00:16:16 Speaker 2
Well for me.
00:16:17 Speaker 2
For me again at the state level, I’m just really happy to hear the feedback from the school districts who are understanding and using the tool for so long.
00:16:25 Speaker 2
They’ve been giving them a score and a score without information is a score, right? Like it doesn’t really. And we understand that and recognize that it doesn’t help inform the next steps.
00:16:39 Speaker 2
Or the school district or the teacher. We think this putting this tool in the hands of our school districts allows them again to to move beyond. Just looking at a report card and saying, OK, how do I, how do I transform some of the work that needs to take place here? And again that.
00:16:59 Speaker 2
Can’t always happen on one year. You want to look at multiple trend data. You want to look at what’s happening in your school, in your environment.
00:17:05 Speaker 2
And and what the data are telling you, but that’s that’s how I see it is is again that it was coming from the the school districts who were really asking us for assistance. How do I get better? How do I how do I move the needle here. And so how you do that is by making sure we’re reaching every single child in the best way that we can.
00:17:26 Speaker 2
Right. So to me, that’s exciting. I’m. I’m excited to see what we’ll be able to do.
00:17:31 Speaker 2
And and and garner from more information we I’ll just wrap up with this statement. You’ve heard it a million times. If you’re in the data world, but it is just true when you’re data rich and information poor, that’s a challenge, right? We have a ton of data. So what are we doing with it and how do we use that information?
00:17:51 Speaker 2
For the betterment of our kids.
00:17:54 Speaker 1
Yeah. And John, any last thoughts?
00:17:56 Speaker 3
Yeah, we’re. I’m just really excited. I’m we’re. We’re really proud to be working with the state of Missouri on making this information more accessible and being able to put it into the hands of educators. I think that, you know, when they can actually see this information, they can find it very they they will find it very intuitive.
00:18:15 Speaker 3
They will be able to.
00:18:16 Speaker 3
Look at the data at the individual student level.
00:18:19 Speaker 3
You will.
00:18:20 Speaker 3
Start to help them seek and why measuring growth is so useful and valuable.
00:18:25 Speaker 3
And just we’re really excited to just help promote the usage of this and see where it goes.
00:18:30 Speaker 1
Well, congratulations on your work and know it’s going to have a huge impact for the the students in the state of Missouri and hopefully sharing these insights will help inspire some of our readers and listeners to maybe put a little pressure on their own state governments to get their their data house in order. So thanks again for your time. I really appreciate it.
00:18:49 Speaker 2
Thank you.
00:18:50 Speaker 3
Thank you so much.
Kevin is a forward-thinking media executive with more than 25 years of experience building brands and audiences online, in print, and face to face. He is an acclaimed writer, editor, and commentator covering the intersection of society and technology, especially education technology. You can reach Kevin at KevinHogan@eschoolnews.com
I asked my husband for a divorce after 8 years of marriage. We were so unhappy together and it felt like there was no love left between us. At first he didn’t want to get a divorce but then he agreed. Now that is actually happening, I feel sad and I don’t understand why. How long does it take to get over a divorce? I didn’t think my divorce would be so hard since I am the one that wanted it and I was so sad before. I’m just feeling so many emotions at the same time like sadness, anger, loneliness, and pain.
I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this because everyone thinks I was the bad one for asking for a divorce. If I tell them now that I’m divorced and depressed, they’ll just tell me ‘I told you so’. I just feel so alone. Please give me some advice on how to deal with a divorce.
Divorce isn’t just the end of your marriage. It is a loss – of someone you once hoped to love for a long time, of a future you dreamed of together, of the life you live with him. It is unfortunate that you felt sad and alone in your marriage, and that the marriage felt loveless. In that case, walking away from that marriage was the right thing to do. However, it is not surprising that you’re experiencing this mix of intense feelings.
As a therapist, I have seen people handle loss, grief and separation in many different ways and that has cemented the fact that there really is no right or wrong way of feeling and dealing with separation or divorce. Here are a few things that can make this easier for you to deal with:
Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to authentically experience any emotions that come up. Your emotional experience is valid. Just because you wanted this divorce, in no way means that you cannot express sadness and feel grief over ending your marriage. Don’t deny your emotions.
Don’t try to find a “solution” or immediately jump into making yourself feel better. It’s crucial to give yourself time to sit with this emotion and experience it as it comes up. However, that doesn’t mean you need to stay stuck here. Continue to take care of yourself, especially when you don’t feel like it.
Speak to someone you trust not to dismiss your feelings about what you’re going through. I understand you may be facing a lot of criticism from your loved ones for this decision. However, not everyone will judge you the same. I would recommend reaching out to a counselor or therapist to help you navigate this situation, so that you don’t feel so alone in the process.
Divorce throws you into uncharted territory, which overthrows your normal routine. In such times, try to establish and maintain a small and simple routine to follow. This could be anything, ranging from a short morning routine, to a cleaning routine, or something you ritualistically do which is familiar and comforting. This familiar routine acts as an anchor in turbulent times.
Remind yourself that you still have a future to look forward to. While it is important to acknowledge and experience your emotions, try not to dwell on them. Moving on is the ultimate goal. So while time does its job, work on building a life you look forward to.
Cultivate connection with others and with nature. If you’re finding it hard to connect with people in your life due to fear of judgment, meet new people through communities of shared interests. Ensure that you work on building a connection with nature and by extension, with yourself.
The end of a relationship, no matter how bad, is still loss and it is okay for you to have complex feelings about it. Be patient with yourself and make time every day to do something that brings you joy. Avoid relying on alcohol or other substances as a coping mechanism. Instead, invest time and effort into nurturing curiosity, creativity and connection.
FAQs
1. Why does divorce hurt even when you wanted it?
Divorce is more than just the legal end of your marriage. It signifies a loss – loss of someone you once hoped to love and be loved by, loss of a shared future and loss of possibilities. It is also bound to bring about some change to your life, which can be uncomfortable to go through. People don’t enter into a marriage with the plan of eventually ending it. There is always the hope of making it last a lifetime. In life of all that, it’s only natural to feel hurt and saddened at the idea of divorce – even when you want it. Additionally, leaving someone doesn’t always mean we stop loving them. Sometimes, we need to leave people we love in order to protect our own well-being. It’s okay to feel sadness, anger and even grief in this situation.
2. How long does the pain of divorce last?
While it isn’t possible to fix a timeline on such things, if you continue to experience pain and discomfort to the point of it interfering with your daily life and well-being after several months of divorce, reach out to a mental health professional for help. For the time being remember to: -Be patient with yourself -Make time for things that bring you joy -Reach out to people and prioritize connection -Get help when you need it
3. Does divorce ever stop hurting?
Yes, with time, you will learn to live with your choices and overcome the pain. However, in order to do that, you need to allow yourself to authentically experience everything that comes up right now. The only way to overcome emotional pain is to go through it instead of running away from it. Practice radical acceptance of yourself and have faith that it will get easier one day.
4. Is divorce the most painful thing?
Divorce can be incredibly painful for many people, and it could very well be the most painful thing you have been through, as it involves the dissolution of a significant relationship, the loss of shared dreams and plans, and often the upheaval of one’s life. However, whether it is the “most” painful thing can vary greatly depending on individual circumstances and experiences. Other life events such as the loss of a loved one, serious illness, or financial hardships can also bring immense pain. Each person’s journey and perception of pain are unique, so it’s essential to acknowledge and address one’s feelings with care and support. Make sure to not brush your pain off simply because there is greater pain in the world.
So, you’ve been dating for a while. He seems dreamy and everything is going great. You’re in love and you know it but you’re left wondering if he feels the same way. Does this sound familiar? Many of us have wrestled with the age-old question: “does he actually love me?”
We’re here to clear your confusion with this ‘Does He Love Me Test’. Crafted by a relationship counsellor who has helped many couples and understands how to spot all the signs, it will help you figure out your relationship dynamics. No more wasting petals off of flowers wondering, “does he love me or not?”. Your answer is 10 simple yet insightful questions away.
This quiz can help clear your confusion and empower you to move forward with more clarity about your relationship. So, take a deep breath and embark on this journey of discovery. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. Even if the results tell you he doesn’t love you, it doesn’t mean he won’t in the future. It simply means your love needs more time to bloom and so you need to water it with effort, communication, and a deep understanding of each other’s needs.
Have you ever looked into your crush on boyfriend’s eyes and felt a spark so electric it sent shivers down your spine? Does he make you feel like you’ve known him your entire life, even though you haven’t been together too long? These are just a few of the signs you’ve found your soul mate.
Finding love in today’s world can be confusing. While there’s no guaranteed soul mate test, there’s a certain undeniable magic that blooms when two souls truly connect. Take a deep breath, and take this quiz. By answering 10 questions, you’ll gain valuable insights into your relationship dynamic, shared values, and the potential for a soul mate connection.
So, embark on this journey, and unveil the mystery of “is he your soul mate”?
My husband cheated and I can’t get over it. I found some messages on his phone and when I confronted him, he admitted it. He said it is over and that he won’t do it again. I feel so betrayed because I never thought he could do something like this. Now every time he is late from work or doesn’t answer my call on the first ring, I can’t help but think he is with some woman. I want to know every detail but it just hurts to hear it at the same time. I just have no idea how to deal with this. I still love him and I’m confused about what I should do. Should I leave my cheating husband? Is it possible that it was a mistake and that he truly loves me and feels bad? Please give me advice on how to deal with an unfaithful husband.
Dealing with infidelity is challenging and it brings up a mix of emotions with it. The fact that you discovered the cheating makes things all the more painful. First and foremost, allow yourself to experience and express whatever emotions are coming up for you. I’m sure there must be a lot of complicated feelings popping up all over the place.
A very common pattern I’ve seen popping up with clients who have been cheated on, is misconceptions about how they “should” feel or act. Remember, there’s really no right or wrong answer to how you “should” feel. Allow your emotions to take up the space they need. While you do that, here are a few things to keep in mind:
1. Communicate with your husband. Tell him how you really feel. It is not your fault that you feel insecure in this situation and reassurance from your partner can help put your mind at ease. Be as candid as possible.
2. Take time to understand how you really feel about your marriage in the light of recent events. Again, there are no right or wrong answers here. Be honest with yourself and with your husband. A few things that may help you decide are:
Whether he is genuinely apologetic and feels guilty for his actions
Is he taking accountability or is he trying to shrug off responsibility by blaming you, or other factors in your marriage for cheating?
Do you feel you have it in you to trust him again?
What will it take in order for you to trust him?
Have there been genuine efforts from his end to repair your relationship?
3. Seek out support from friends and family. You don’t need to shoulder all of it alone, and it is always okay to ask for help. You can also consider reaching out to a therapist for personal counseling or couple’s counseling. Counseling can provide you with the safe space you need in order to process and heal.
4. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, physically, mentally and emotionally. You deserve to be taken care of, especially when you don’t feel like it.
5. Set healthy boundaries with your husband. This will of course require open and honest communication from both of you. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.
In the end, what matters most is if you want to give this another chance and if your husband is willing to make up for his infidelity. Remember to stay patient both with yourself and your husband. Remember that change does not take place overnight, and that it will take work from both of you in order to repair your relationship.
FAQs
1. How to cope with a cheating husband?
Here are a few things to keep in mind as you try to overcome cheating: 1. Allow yourself to experience your emotions as and when they pop up. Be kind to yourself and reach out for support. There’s nothing wrong in asking for help. 2. Introspect to figure out where you want to take your marriage from here, and what you need most right now. It could be anything from space to more reassurance from your husband. 3. Be prepared to have honest conversations about this with your husband. This will also help you realize what sort of room for repair your relationship has. 4. Remember that both you and your husband will have to put in the work to rebuild your relationship. There may be a few issues that come up, aside from the cheating, which may be creating distance between the two of you. 5. Consider going for marital therapy, in order to establish healthy communication and to help both of you navigate your relationship in light of cheating. Perhaps most importantly, be patient, both with yourself and your husband.
2. Should I stay with a cheating husband?
In all honesty, this is not a question anyone else can answer for you. This will have to be a decision that you make, because you will be most affected by the consequences of your decision. Here are a few things that can make the process easier: 1. Consider how you feel about him and your relationship. Do you have it in you to give this another shot, and to put in the work to make it work? 2. Does your husband seem genuinely apologetic, or does he only seem sorry for being caught? Have there been genuine efforts from his end, in order to make up for his actions? Is he taking accountability or is he throwing around blame? 3. Are you willing to put your faith in the same person again?
Take your time in answering these questions and don’t feel pressured to make a particular decision. Be authentic and mindful of your experience.
Matt is joined by Bloomberg’s Lucas Shaw to discuss Peacock’s strong start to 2024 and the prospect of a possible joint venture or “commercial partnership” with Paramount+, as reported by The Wall Street Journal late last week. They run through the logistics of a merger, the curious timing of the Journal’s story, the critical role live sports rights play, Warren Buffett’s sale of a third of his stake in Paramount Global, and who is most to blame for Paramount’s struggles. Matt finishes the show with a prediction about John Oliver’s HBO show, Last Week Tonight.
For a 20 percent discount on Matt’s Hollywood insider newsletter, What I’m Hearing …, click here.
Facing marriage trouble can be incredibly difficult and leave you feeling lost and unsure. Questions like “Is my marriage failing?” or “Is it over?” might swirl in your mind, making it challenging to see a clear path forward.
This “Is My Marriage Over?” quiz is designed to offer a personalized assessment and help you gain insights into your current situation. It delves into crucial areas like communication, emotional connection, conflict resolution, and intimacy, which are fundamental pillars of a healthy marriage.
While this quiz cannot definitively answer whether your marriage is over, it can provide valuable reflection points and encourage you to engage in important conversations about your relationship. It can help you understand what the most pressing issue in your marriage is, for example frequent arguments, emotional disconnection, or a lack of intimacy.
Remember, even marriages facing significant difficulties can be saved with genuine effort, open communication, and the willingness to work together. This quiz is not a verdict, but rather a tool to encourage you to explore potential next steps.
Love is a powerful emotion, capable of bringing immense joy and fulfillment. However, when love becomes obsessive, it can transform into a source of suffering, both for yourself and potentially for the person you care about. If you’re questioning, “Am I obsessed?” or “Am I in love or obsessed?”, this obsessive love disorder test can offer valuable insights.
Whether you’re consumed by intrusive thoughts about your partner, exhibit controlling behaviors, or struggle with intense jealousy, this quiz can shed light on these patterns. Remember, obsession in love can manifest in various ways, and it’s crucial to address these concerns before they spiral out of control and cause irreparable damage.
This short quiz with 10 multiple choice questions can help whether you have issues to address. If you’re experiencing significant suffering or feel your obsessive tendencies are harming yourself or others, seeking personalized guidance from a qualified therapist or counselor is essential.
P.s. It’s important to remember that obsessive love disorder (OLD) is not currently a diagnosable condition, and the term “disorder” should be used with caution. However, this quiz can help you explore unhealthy obsession with a person and its potential impact on your well-being.
