ReportWire

Tag: psychology

  • Sign up for fall tai chi classes

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    Seniors can sign up now for fall tai chi classes in Plaistow, Atkinson and Epping.

    A tai chi class in Atkinson will be held from 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. on Sept. 9 at the Atkinson Community Center, 4 Main St. The class is designed to decrease stress, anxiety and depression, improve mood, aerobic balance and muscle strength, increase energy and blood flow and reduce heart rate and blood pressure.


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  • Annual Salem Walk for Overdose Awareness emphasizes need for community support

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    SALEM — A group of about 30 community members walked from the Salem Common to Riley Plaza on Thursday as a part of the annual Walk for Overdose Awareness.

    The event included speakers stressing the importance of creating a larger support network for community members struggling with substance abuse and addiction.


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    By Michael McHugh | Staff Writer

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  • Peabody students, residents, can now access free mental health app

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    PEABODY — The city is partnering with a mental health app to support all residents and their families, especially students of Peabody Public Schools.

    Bloom is a mental health and wellness platform that can be accessed on desktop computers and as a mobile app on a smartphone. Developed by Gloucester-based Bloom-Ed Inc., the app provides local resources on topics ranging from mental health, parenting, financial wellness, end of life care and in a special section for teens, support for kids experiencing bullying.


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    By Caroline Enos | Staff Writer

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  • Peabody anti-bullying task force plans to take multilayered approach to student support

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    PEABODY — Dozens of people gathered at Higgins Middle School on Wednesday night for the first of what Mayor Ted Bettencourt said would be many community discussions on youth bullying and mental health.

    The community meeting was one of the many anti-bullying initiatives introduced by Bettencourt following the suicide of 14-year-old Jason Bernard, who died May 17 after being bullied at Higgins Middle School.


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    By Michael McHugh | Staff Writer

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  • Parenting 101: 4 Money rules to raise millionaires

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    According to a recent Bankrate study, children who were raised with a strong financial education are significantly more likely to build healthy money habits and negotiate higher salaries as adults.

    No wonder parents today aren’t willing to leave financial success up to chance. Gamblizard reports that Google searches for “how to teach kids about money” have skyrocketed 92% in the past month alone.

    With Teach Children to Save Day coming up on April 27, personal finance strategist Jamie Wall has four essential money skills every parent should teach early.

    Teach kids to negotiate early

    Helping children learn to negotiate teaches them confidence and critical thinking. This skill doesn’t just help with salaries, it also builds resilience and self-advocacy across various life situations. Start small by encouraging your kids to explain their reasoning during decisions or budget trade-offs. Let them make their case for a new toy by suggesting ways to save for it or what they’d be willing to give up. Role-play common scenarios, like asking for a later bedtime or a larger allowance, so they get comfortable presenting their viewpoint and backing it up with logic.

    Introduce investing concepts early

    Investing might seem like an “adult” topic, but kids as young as 10 can grasp basic ideas like risk, growth, and diversification. Start simple: offer 1 toy now or 3 if they wait a week. It’s an easy way to introduce patience and the idea of long-term rewards. With older kids, try playing a stock market game or tracking shares of a brand they like to make investing fun and relatable. Encourage them to follow the performance of their chosen stocks over time and discuss how the value goes up and down. This hands-on approach teaches patience, the importance of long-term growth, and the power of small, consistent investments.

    Encourage budgeting with allowances

    Giving kids a regular allowance tied to specific responsibilities helps them learn to manage money hands-on. According to the AICPA, the average allowance is $30 per week, and children earn around $6.11 per hour for completing chores. That’s a real income they can learn to manage. Encourage them to split their money into categories: save, spend, and give. This introduces budgeting in a way that’s personal and meaningful, building a habit that can last into adulthood.

    Encourage entrepreneurial ventures

    Letting your child run a mini business, like selling handmade crafts, mowing lawns, or even creating digital content, can teach practical lessons about money, time, and value creation. In a national survey by Junior Achievement USA, 60% of teens said they would prefer to start their own business rather than work a traditional job. This shows a strong interest in entrepreneurship among youth, and early practice gives them a head start. They learn budgeting, setting prices, marketing, and even coping with failure — all within a safe, supportive environment.

    – JC

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    By: Jennifer Cox The Suburban

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  • Best of 2024: Top Self-Improvement Articles, Worksheets, and Highlights

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    Celebrate 15 years at The Emotion Machine with our ‘Best of 2024’ roundup, featuring top articles and worksheets on psychology, personal growth, relationships, and philosophy — then get excited for another year of self-improvement!


    2024 marks the fifteenth year of self-improvement at The Emotion Machine, making it one of the oldest and largest independent psychology websites on the internet – with zero plans to stop or slow down anytime soon.

    If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that no matter the ups and downs we face over the year, a steady commitment to growth always pays off on a long enough timeline. Over the past 15 years, I’ve had many rewarding highs and devastating lows, but at the end of the day, I’m better off today than I was before — and that’s the truest measure of growth. It’s the benchmark I’ll continue to use as I move forward in life.

    This year, as always, we’ve explored a huge range of topics related to psychology and self-improvement: from practical tips for emotional regulation to in-depth movie reviews to social analyses about the current state of the world. A quick look at the list below shows that The Emotion Machine is far more than just your everyday self-help blog, it’s a vast resource dedicated to education and knowledge in all its forms.

    Without further ado, here are our best articles and worksheets of 2024!

    Articles

    Our best articles of the year, broken down by category.

    Psychology and Mental Health

    Emotions Are Weakness: 5 Maladaptive Beliefs That Lead to Emotional Dysfunction

    Why the belief that “emotions are weakness” leads to suppression and dysfunction — and why accepting and embracing emotions plays an important role in happiness, health, and well-being.

    Rumination vs. Savoring: The Neural Dynamics Between Positive and Negative Thinking

    The same brain regions handle both rumination (negative replay) and savoring (positive replay) — here’s how to use this part of your brain in a new and healthier way.

    6 Common Factors Behind All Successful Therapy

    What makes therapy effective? These universal factors are the foundation for success, no matter the approach.

    Good Will Hunting: A Masterclass in Therapy and Emotional Growth

    An in-depth, session-by-session breakdown of Good Will Hunting – widely regarded as one of the best depictions of therapy in film.

    Positive Psychology Tools Are Most Effective For Those Who Practice Long-Term

    New research highlights the importance of consistent practice for maximizing the benefits of psychology tools.

    How Aesthetic Chills Boost Feelings of Acceptance, Inspiration, and Meaning

    Discover the power of “aesthetic chills” (or “goosebumps”) and how this unique sensation enhances awe, inspiration, and personal growth.

    The Worldbuilding of Inside Out 2: New Emotions, Belief System, and a Sense of Self

    A closer look at how the sequel deepens its exploration of emotions, identity, and belief systems.

    2024 World Happiness Rankings: USA Falls Out of Top 20, Youngest Hit Hardest

    What this year’s happiness rankings reveal about global trends—and why young Americans are struggling most.

    Motivation and Personal Growth

    The Will to Improve: Bridging the Gap Between “Talk” and “Action”

    How to overcome inertia and turn intention into meaningful action.

    The Pebble In Your Shoe: Tiny Frustrations That Can Ruin Your Day

    Why small, unresolved annoyances can derail your entire mood. Here’s why it’s best to fix them now rather than later.

    Deathbed Motivation: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

    Lessons from those at life’s end, inspiring you to live without regrets.

    What If: The Power of Hypotheticals and Counterfactual Thinking

    How exploring “what if” scenarios sharpens your thinking and decision-making.

    50+ Destructive Patterns That Scream Low Confidence and Insecurity

    A comprehensive guide to identifying common patterns of self-doubt.

    The Domino Effect of Overcoming Your Fears One At A Time

    Tackling fears incrementally to build unstoppable momentum.

    50+ Motivational Latin Proverbs to Elevate Your Thinking to New Levels

    Ancient wisdom to inspire modern self-improvement.

    My Biggest Goal of 2024

    Written at the start of the year, this piece explores the ambition, mindset, and strategy behind setting my biggest goal for 2024.

    Intermittent Fasting: The Mind-Body Benefits of Conscious Calorie Restriction

    Exploring the science and mental clarity behind intentional fasting.

    Relationships and Communication

    The Art of Rejection and Saying No: One of the Most Underrated Social Skills

    Master the delicate but essential skill of turning others down with grace and confidence.

    The Compliment Sandwich: How to Give Constructive Feedback That Sticks

    Deliver feedback that resonates by balancing honesty with encouragement.

    Social Bonding Through Movies: The Emotional Magic Behind Watching Films Together

    Why sharing films with others can forge deep emotional connections.

    The Power of Sincerity – And How to Stop Hiding Behind Sarcasm and Irony

    Unlock the strength of genuine communication by breaking free from sarcasm and pretense.

    Finding Meaning in Virtual Worlds: How Online Gaming and Digital Communities Can Transform Lives

    Discover how online spaces can cultivate real-life growth, meaning, and connection, as shown in the documentary The Remarkable Life of Ibelin.

    Third Spaces: The Building Blocks of A Healthy Community and Social Life

    Explore the social hubs that enrich our lives and strengthen our communities, outside of home and work.

    The Many Faces of Deception: Understanding the Different Types of Lying

    Learn how to recognize and identify the diverse ways people bend the truth.

    14 Powerful Genre-Bending Films That Explore Love in Unconventional Ways

    Films that redefine love and challenge how we think about relationships.

    The Narcissistic Culture of “Image” and Excessive Self-Monitoring

    How excessive self-monitoring is eroding confidence and authenticity in our social lives.

    Philosophy and Meaning

    A Lifelong Project: Staying True to Your Mission in a Quick Fix World

    The power of commitment is a rare resource in a culture obsessed with instant gratification.

    One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy: Finding Meaning in Eternal Struggle

    An existential perspective on life’s inherent challenges and the quest to find meaning in them.

    Paradigm Shifts: A Complete Change in Worldview

    When you need to rethink everything you believe and let go of old ways of looking at the world.

    The Immovable Mind: Schopenhauer’s Daily Routine For 27 Years

    A case study on the unique and disciplined routine of the philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer.

    The Beggar’s Gift: An Opportunity to Be Good

    From a Buddhist perspective, begging monks perform a powerful service by allowing everyday people to do something good and accumulate positive karma.

    Trader vs. Hero Mindset: Why A Healthy Society Needs Both

    Understand the balance between self-interest and selflessness for a thriving community.

    Information Pollution: The Tragedy of the Commons and Well-Poisoning on the Internet

    How the overload of misinformation on the internet is eroding trust, intelligence, and sanity.

    Worksheets

    At the start of 2024, I pledged to create at least one new worksheet every month. By year’s end, I exceeded that goal, creating a total of 16 new worksheets, including:

    Relationships and Social Connection

    Social Support Database

    Past Relationships

    Social Anxiety Hierarchy

    Thank You Letter

    Relationship Reigniter

    Focus: Tools to improve relationships, enhance social skills, and build stronger connections with others.

    Emotional Mastery and Self-Reflection

    Master Your Negative Emotions

    Burn Away Negative Beliefs

    Failure Analyzer

    Positive vs. Negative Self: A Dialogue

    The Five Whys Exercise

    Focus: These worksheets are designed to help users process emotions, challenge limiting beliefs, and reflect deeply on their thoughts and actions.

    Goals, Habits, and Productivity

    Daily Routine

    Monthly Review Worksheet

    Mid-Year Reset Worksheet

    Mental Rehearsal

    Healthy Life Checklist

    Future Self Worksheet

    Focus: These worksheets help users structure their daily lives, track progress, and maintain a focus on long-term goals and habits.

    An Evergrowing Resource for Self-Improvement

    We now offer a total of 29 self-improvement worksheets, cementing our long-term commitment to providing practical, actionable advice. These worksheets are exclusively available to members — join today to gain full access to these transformative tools.


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

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    Steven Handel

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  • Good Will Hunting: A Masterclass in Therapy and Emotional Growth

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    Take a deep dive into the therapeutic relationship as illustrated in the classic film Good Will Hunting, where a defiant genius and a compassionate therapist confront pain, grief, and regret in an emotional journey that changes them both.


    Good Will Hunting (1997) is a widely acclaimed cinematic masterpiece, offering one of the most compelling depictions of therapy ever portrayed on screen — and it remains one of my personal favorite movies of all time.

    The main protagonist is Will Hunting (played by Matt Damon) who is portrayed as an underachieving genius who works a modest life as a janitor at the prestigious MIT. Despite his intelligence, he’s emotionally guarded and frequently gets into brawls and run-ins with the law. One day he solves a difficult math equation on a chalkboard and is then approached by professors and faculty to pursue his talents in mathematics, but first he has to see a therapist and work out his personal problems.

    Will’s journey into therapy begins reluctantly with a typical “I don’t need to see a shrink” attitude. But after a series of arrests and getting bailed out, he’s court-ordered to start seeing someone. He cycles through five therapists, including a hypnotist, antagonizing each one to the point that they refuse to work with him. Will’s sharp intellect and deep emotional defenses make it nearly impossible for anyone to break through and connect with him.

    Finally he meets Sean Maguire (played by Robin Williams), a compassionate but no-nonsense therapist with a rich life of experiences, including deep wounds from his past, and accumulated wisdom. This article breaks down their relationship, session by session, to explore how it evolved throughout the film and potential lessons we can takeaway from it.

    First Meeting: Tensions and Boundary Testing

    Will’s first meeting with Sean begins with his usual strategy of intellectual dominance and boundary testing.

    He scans Sean’s office, searching for things to criticize, and immediately targets his book collection. “You people baffle me. You spend all this money on beautiful, fancy books, and they’re the wrong f***ing books.” Sean, unfazed, spars back, standing his ground while playfully naming books he assumes Will has read.

    Things reach a climax in the scene when Will begins to mock a painting hanging on the wall, which hits a personal nerve for Sean regarding the grief and loss of his wife. Sean’s reaction is striking and unconventional. After listening patiently, he suddenly grabs Will by the throat and threatens him: “If you ever disrespect my wife again, I will end you.”

    While it’s an unethical move for a therapist, this unorthodoxy shows Will that he is not dealing with an ordinary therapy. Both Will and Sean share working class Irish backgrounds in the hard streets of Boston. Sean knows this language and he is willing to speak it if it’s the only way to get through to Will. Sean thus establishes himself as someone who understands Will’s world, where strength and confrontation often dominate.

    This moment lays the foundation for their relationship. Sean shows he’s human, not just a clinical professional, but also that he won’t be intimidated or dismissed by Will’s antics. It’s the first step in breaking down Will’s defenses.

    The Bench Scene: A Turning Point

    After their intense first meeting, Sean invites Will to a park, where he delivers one of the most memorable monologues in the film. Sean begins by admitting his vulnerability, sharing that Will’s comments about the painting kept him up all night and genuinely bothered him.

    By admitting Will’s comments hurt him, Sean shows he’s willing to show weakness, but then he sharply pivots to challenge Will directly, “But then you know what occurred to me? You’re just a kid. You don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about.”

    Sean goes on to explain that despite Will’s intellectual brilliance, he lacks lived experience. Sean shares personal moments that defined him — seeing the Sistine Chapel in person, being truly in love with someone, the scars of losing friends in war, and watching a loved one die of cancer. These deep experiences illustrate the limitations of knowledge without life. Sean’s speech is a blend of tough love and empathy, forcing Will to confront the gap between his intellectual defenses and his emotional reality.

    good will hunting bench

    The bench scene sets the tone for the remainder of their therapy. Sean acknowledges Will’s brilliance but challenges him to live beyond books and theories. Sean leaves the door open for Will to continue having sessions with him only if he is ready to truly open up.

    Second Therapy Session: Silence

    The next therapy session begins with complete silence as Sean and Will sit across from each other. After two emotionally charged meetings and still lingering tensions, neither is willing to be the first to reach out or break the quiet.

    The entire hour goes by and neither says a word. While this may feel like an unproductive session, this is another important moment in their relationship. The power of silence acts as a reset button in their relationship.

    Sometimes, simply sitting in the same room without confrontation (“sharing space”) can be a meaningful step toward healing. It allows both Sean and Will to recalibrate, setting the stage for a more productive dynamic moving forward.

    Third Therapy Session: Humor and Opening Up

    The silence stand-off continues into their third session, with each still not willing to budge or say the first word.

    Finally Will breaks the silence with a dirty joke, immediately breaking the tensions in the room and reinitiating conversation in a fun and light-hearted way. After they share a laugh, Will begins to open up about a girl he’s been dating recently. Will mentions how he worries the girl is “too perfect,” and that getting to know her more would just shatter that illusion. Sean wisely responds back, “That’s a super philosophy, that way you can go through your entire life without ever really getting to know anybody.”

    Sean opens up about his wife and the quirks behind their love, like her farting in her sleep and waking up the dog. After all these years, these are the little moments he remembers and cherishes about her. No one is “perfect,” and it’s often the imperfections that make someone special to us.

    good will hunting laugh

    Robin Williams improvised the story about his wife causing Matt Damon to genuinely burst out into laughter during this scene.


    After more light-hearted banter, Will turns the tables and ask why Sean never got remarried. Will firmly replies, “My wife is dead.” Then Will, always testing and challenging, uses one of Sean’s lines against him: “That’s a super philosophy, that way you can go through your entire life without ever really getting to know anybody.”

    Fourth Therapy Session: Love, Opportunities, and Regrets

    Now on much more amicable terms, Will opens up with an honest question, “Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you never met your wife?”

    Sean accepts that there’s been a lot of pain and suffering in his relationship, but he doesn’t regret any of it, because the good moments were worth it and he wouldn’t trade a single day with her through good or bad times. Will presses to learn more, “When did you know she was the one?”

    “October 21, 1975.”

    It was game six of the World Series, the biggest game in Red Sox history – and Sean slept on the sidewalk all night with friends to get tickets. He recalls the momentous occasion when the Red Sox hit a game-winning home run and everyone rushed the field.

    “Did you rush the field?”

    “Hell no, I wasn’t there. I was in a bar having a drink with my future wife.”

    The story illustrates how Sean knew his wife was the one when he was willing to miss the opportunity of a life-changing moment (being at a historical sporting event) for an even bigger life-changing moment (finding love and his future wife).

    Will is incredulous and yells at Sean for missing the game. He asks, “How did your friends let you get away with that?” And Will simply replies, “I just slid my ticket across the table and said, ‘Sorry guys, I gotta see about a girl.’”

    Fifth Therapy Session: Facing Potential and Values

    In this session, Will begins to ask deep questions about what he wants to do with the rest of his life and what are the best uses of his intelligence and talents.

    After a job interview with the NSA, Will goes into a diatribe about how his talents could be hypothetically used for catastrophic consequences, like overthrowing foreign governments, destabilizing entire countries, or getting his friends sent to fight some war overseas.

    Sean asks him directly, “What are you passionate about? What do you want?”

    They discuss the honor of work, including construction work and Will’s job as a janitor and the pride he takes in it, even though society may not view it as the most rewarding job in the world. Sean prods further asking why he chose to be a janitor at the most prestigious technical university in the world, and why he secretly finished math problems, highlighting that there may be something else driving Will.

    Sean asks again what Will wants to do with his life, and he deflects by joking that he wants to be a shepherd on his own plot of land away from the world. Sean isn’t willing to waste his time and decides to end the session early. Will has a final outburst before leaving, “You’re lecturing me on life? Look at you, you burnout!”

    This session reveals how Will is afraid of his potential and talents, including the responsibility that comes with them. “I didn’t ask to be born like this.” He feels safe continuing to live in his hometown, work his everyday job, and hangout with his childhood friends. He’s afraid to dream bigger. There may be something deeper driving Will’s thirst for knowledge, but he doesn’t know his core values and motivations, and doesn’t truly know himself or what he wants out of life.

    Sixth Therapy Session: “It’s Not Your Fault”

    The next therapy session begins with Sean uncovering more about Will’s painful past, particularly his life as an orphan and the physical abuse he endured with his foster parents. Sean reveals that he, too, grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father, forging another shared bond between them.

    As their conversation unfolds, Will correctly guesses that his final psychological report likely diagnoses him with “attachment issues” and a “fear of abandonment.” He acknowledges that these issues may have driven him to push his girlfriend away, leading to their recent breakup. When Sean gently asks if he wants to talk about it, Will declines.

    Sean then shifts the focus, holding onto the reports as he says, “I don’t know a lot. But you see this? All this shit? It’s not your fault.”

    At first, Will politely agrees, brushing off the comment, but Sean repeats the line: “It’s not your fault.” With each repetition, Will’s emotional defenses begin to crumble, and he cycles through a range of emotions—politeness, confusion, anger, and aggression—until the weight of Sean’s words fully sinks in. Overwhelmed, Will finally breaks down and cries, releasing years of suppressed pain and guilt.

    good will hunting

    In this profoundly cathartic moment, Sean embraces Will, offering the safe and empathetic connection that has been absent from Will’s life. It’s a turning point where Will confronts his past without blame or self-judgment, finally opening the door to acceptance and healing.

    Last Goodbye

    In their last meeting, Will thanks Sean for all of his help and shares the good news that he has accepted an exciting new job. Sean, in turn, reveals his plans to travel and explore life on his own terms. They exchange numbers to keep in touch, symbolizing the respect and connection they’ve built.

    This moment underscores that therapy is often a chapter in life that prepares individuals to continue their journeys independently. Both Will and Sean needed to say their goodbyes and go their separate ways to continue following their paths in life. Will has learned to face his fears and embrace his potential. Sean has rediscovered purpose and fulfillment through helping Will. Their goodbye is bittersweet but profound, a reminder that growth often requires letting go and moving forward.

    In the final scene, Will leaves a letter at Sean’s place that reads, “If the professor calls about that job, just tell him sorry—I had to go see about a girl.” This moment beautifully exemplifies Will’s newfound courage to follow his heart and take meaningful risks.

    Conclusion

    The therapeutic relationship between Sean and Will in Good Will Hunting is a masterclass in storytelling and psychology. Through humor, vulnerability, and mutual respect, Sean helps Will break through years of pain and fear, while Will reignites Sean’s passion for life. Their journey is a powerful testament to the transformative potential of therapy — and how creating a space of acceptance, healing, and growth can change lives.


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  • The Will to Improve: Bridging the Gap Between “Talk” and “Action”

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    Do you have trouble transforming talk → action? Learn about Personal Growth Initiative (PGI) and the essential components behind a lifelong mindset of self-improvement.


    Personal growth doesn’t just happen — it requires intention, planning, and action. While many of us may talk a lot about the things we want to change in our lives, transforming that talk into action can be a real challenge.

    Psychologists have identified Personal Growth Initiative as a mindset that bridges this all-too-common gap between “talk” and “action,” helping individuals actively and consciously pursue their development in a clear and deliberate way.

    As a reader of this article, you likely already check off some boxes for Personal Growth Initiative. The average person doesn’t consciously seek out knowledge about psychology and self-improvement, so you’re in a unique and special group of people. By virtue of being here right now, you are demonstrating a rare initiative. 

    Now let’s dive more into what PGI is all about.

    Personal Growth Initiative: The 4 Core Components

    Personal Growth Initiative (PGI) is a set of beliefs and attitudes that help individuals intentionally engage in their own growth process. It consists of four main components.

    Readiness for Change

    The first step is to be ready to make a change. A person can have all the help, guidance, and resources in the world at their disposal, but it all amounts to nothing if they aren’t ready to make that final leap. The basic truth is we often need that proverbial “fire under our butts” before we take conscious action. Once you’re ready, the next step is to translate that readiness into a clear plan of action.

    Thought Patterns:

    • “I am aware of when I need to make a change.”
    • “I take every opportunity to grow as it comes up.”
    • “I am willing to step out of my comfort zone to achieve growth.”
    • “I take an active role in my self-improvement.”
    • “I don’t sit and wait for change to happen.”

    Example: Imagine facing burnout at work. Instead of feeling trapped, a person with a high readiness for change may recognize this as a signal to re-evaluate their work habits or career path, making room for new habits and healthier routines (such as sleep, diet, exercise, or leisure time).

    Worksheet: Self-Improvement Contract (PDF)

    Making a Plan

    The second step is to create realistic plans for your growth. An idea remains just that until you put it on paper and hold yourself accountable. Having a clear vision of your future and where you want to go, then setting small and realistic goals that are within your reach, can help propel you forward in a natural and sustainable way. 

    Thought Patterns:

    • “I set realistic goals for what I want to change about myself.”
    • “I have a specific action plan to help me reach my goals.”
    • “I break down larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks.”
    • “I regularly review my progress and adjust my plan accordingly.”
    • “I stay committed to my plan even when faced with setbacks.”

    Example: Let’s say you want to improve your physical health or lose weight. Instead of jumping into an unsustainable workout routine, a planful person might research the best exercise programs, consult with a trainer, and create a structured plan that best fits their lifestyle, personality, and fitness goals.

    Worksheets: Goals Timeline (PDF) + New Habit Worksheet (PDF)

    Using Resources

    Another essential feature of the Personal Growth Initiative is actively seeking help and guidance from outside resources, including learning materials like articles and books, as well as reaching out to friends, mentors, or counselors. This is one of the most common ways people handicap themselves because they wrongly believe “I have to do everything on my own,” when the truth is there are plenty of resources available to take advantage of (including this website).

    Thought Patterns:

    • “I ask for help from others when I need it.”
    • “I do my own research to learn more about new topics.”
    • “I like reading articles and books to learn new things.”
    • “I’m not afraid to reach out to a therapist or coach if I really need one.”
    • “I connect with communities or groups that align with my values and goals.”

    Example: During a stressful life transition, like a divorce or job loss, someone with strong PGI would actively seek out the right books and resources, such as counseling or career coaching, to navigate the situation more smoothly and effectively.

    Worksheets: Social Support Database (PDF) + Role Models (PDF)

    Intentional Behavior

    Intentional Behavior refers to the daily or weekly actions you take that are purposefully directed toward achieving your goals. Unlike Readiness for Change, which is about being mentally prepared and open to growth, Intentional Behavior is about translating that readiness into consistent, goal-directed actions. It’s the final step between “talk” and “action.” For example, Readiness for Change might mean deciding that improving your health is necessary, while Intentional Behavior is actually getting up every morning to go for a jog or preparing a healthy meal. 

    Thought Patterns:

    • “I turn my intentions into actions.”
    • “I take small steps forward every day.”
    • “I build new habits into my daily routine that bring me closer to my goals.”
    • “I know what steps I can take to make intentional changes in myself.”

    Example: After recognizing the need for change and making a plan, intentional behavior would involve committing to daily or weekly actions—whether it’s setting aside time for self-care or networking to explore new career opportunities. Each small step compounds over time, leading to greater progress and resilience.

    Worksheets: Daily Routine (PDF) + Future Self Worksheet (PDF)

    The Long-Term Benefits of PGI on Well-Being

    Each of these components supports and strengthens the next, creating a clear pathway from “ideas” to “actions.”

    “Readiness for Change” sets the foundation by keeping you open to new paths and patterns in life, ensuring that you are mentally prepared for growth and change when needed. From there, “Making a Plan” gives direction and a direct course for action, “Using Resources” provides support, knowledge, and inspirational boosts, and “Intentional Behavior” turns plans into consistent daily and weekly action. Together, they create a feedback loop that encourages continuous growth and resilience.

    For example, someone with high Readiness for Change will see a major setback, like losing a job, as an opportunity to learn new skills or change their career path. They use Planfulness to plot a course of action they can follow, like going back to school or learning a new trade, seek new resources like career counseling, job fairs, or apprenticeships, and take consistent daily action, such as taking classes, practicing new skills, or sending out resumes – all of which help them not only cope with this major life change, but also thrive and ultimately find a better path forward in the long run.

    One study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that PGI is positively related to adaptive coping styles and self-efficacy, suggesting that those who actively engage in personal growth are better equipped to handle negative and stressful events more effectively, because they approach life’s obstacles with the mindset of growth and learning rather than resignation and defeat.

    If you aren’t ready to make a change – or you are completely resistant to change – it’s unlikely to happen. This includes therapy and coaching, where studies show that “motivational readiness” can be a contributing factor to how effective a therapeutic intervention is. This aligns with common factors theory, where one of the most important features of successful therapy and counseling is “shared goals” among therapist and client – you have to be on the same page about where you are and where you want to go.

    Overall, PGI fosters a mindset that not only supports mental health and well-being but also builds long-term grit and resilience. By approaching challenges with intentional growth, individuals are more prepared to navigate life’s obstacles, setbacks, and inevitable ups and downs.

    Embrace the Will to Improve

    The best way to prove your commitment to something is through your actions.

    Ask yourself, “What is the smallest step I can take today to start moving in the right direction?” Maybe it’s joining a gym, starting a new hobby, setting a 10-minute daily reading habit, or subscribing to our newsletter for more actionable tips and advice on self-improvement.

    Personal Growth Initiative is about more than just wanting to improve — it’s about intentionally working toward becoming a better version of yourself. Start today by taking one small step, however small it may be.


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  • Finding Meaning in Virtual Worlds: How Online Gaming and Digital Communities Can Transform Lives

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    Virtual worlds and online gaming have become a new source of meaning, purpose, and belonging in today’s world, especially for those who struggle with loneliness, social anxiety, or physical disabilities. The new documentary The Remarkable Life of Ibelin shares the inspiring story of Mats Steen, a young Norwegian man with Duchenne muscular dystrophy, who built a meaningful life through the popular game World of Warcraft.


    The digital world is sometimes criticized for being a “shallow escape” from real life. However, for many it can be a reliable source of meaning, connection, and purpose—especially for those who may find it difficult to fulfill certain needs and values in their regular daily lives.

    The Remarkable Life of Ibelin

    The 2024 documentary The Remarkable Life of Ibelin is an insightful and heartfelt story on how people find real meaning, connection, and purpose through online gaming and virtual worlds.

    Mats Steen, a young Norwegian man living with Duchenne muscular dystrophy, found freedom and fulfillment through his digital persona, Ibelin, in the popular video game World of Warcraft. Mats’ physical limitations were significant, but in Azeroth, he experienced life without barriers.

    His parents only discovered the extent of his online relationships after his death, realizing that the world they thought was isolating had actually given Mats purpose and belonging. For eight years, Mats was an active member of the Starlight community, a guild within World of Warcraft that became like a family to him. Every evening, Mats would log in to talk, roleplay, and have fun with dozens of online friends. Throughout those years, he dedicated over 20,000 hours to the game and participated in conversations that filled more than 42,000 pages of chat logs.

    The documentary used these chat logs to recreate Ibelin’s life within the game, including sentimental and meaningful moments with his online friends Rumour and Reike. Viewers get to witness, through these virtual interactions, how Mats / Ibelin found a place where he was valued not for his physical abilities, but for his personality, humor, and kindness.

    Through this digital world, Mats was able to find a sense of purpose and belonging. As he says in the documentary, “Games are my sanctuary. I am safe here, feel valued and respected.”

    Finding Love and Romantic Fulfillment in Virtual Space

    Due to his physical condition, Mats struggled to find love and romance at school or among real life friends. However, through his virtual avatar Ibelin in the game, Mats was able to experience rare moments of romantic connection that he never thought possible. For once, he was able to connect with people just based on who they are on the inside; as Mats observed, “Everyone looks good in this world, so looks don’t matter, it’s about personality.”

    In World of Warcraft, Mats formed a romantic bond with a player known as Rumour. Their connection began with playful moments, like when Rumour stole his hat “just to see what happens,” and gradually grew into a deeper and more significant connection over time. One of the most memorable moments was their virtual kiss, which Mats described as, “The closest thing I’ve ever been to a crush my entire life.” Mats would give her digital gifts and flowers, and she reciprocated by drawing a real-life picture of their characters embracing—a gift Mats would hang in his room.

    Real-World Emotional Bonds

    These digital connections often spilled over into real lives and deep emotional bonds.

    One day, Rumour mysteriously disappeared from the game and stopped playing. Mats only later found out that her parents had taken her computer away due to her poor grades. This sudden disconnect deeply affected Rumour, whose real name was Lisette, and she began struggling with depression because she could no longer connect with her online friends. Mats, finding out about her pain, wrote a heartfelt letter to her parents, pleading with them to return her computer and emphasizing the value of the relationships she had formed in the digital world. His support helped Lisette during one of the most challenging periods she faced, showing how genuine and meaningful digital bonds can be, even outside of virtual spaces.

    Another one of his gaming friends, Xenia, known as Reike in the game, struggled to connect with her autistic son. Mats encouraged her to try gaming as a way to bridge the gap, and through World of Warcraft, Xenia was able to find new ways to communicate and bond with her son, including giving each other “virtual hugs,” which was a big deal because her son struggled with human touch in the real world. Xenia also said that her son could now share things with her that he normally couldn’t in person or face-to-face, improving their overall ability to communicate and connect through the shared experience of video games. 

    These are just a couple examples of how Mats’ digital relationships had significant, positive effects on the real lives of those around him, illustrating the powerful potential of online communities to bring about meaningful change.

    Opening Up About His Condition

    Mats took a long time to open up about his physical condition to the other members of Starlight. Feeling completely protected behind his virtual persona, Mats could ignore his material reality and didn’t have to worry about people showing him superficial pity or sympathy because of his illness. 

    This hesitation to open up and be vulnerable unfortunately led to some missed opportunities, including missed phone calls and video chats with his online friends. And during a real-life meetup and party for all the members of Starlight, Mats ended up being one of the few to not attend.

    Despite his fears of vulnerability, Mats eventually found the courage to open up as his illness progressed. He shared his fears of dying without meaning anything to anyone with Reike/Xenia, who reminded him of the profound impact he had made on her life and her son’s life. She then listed all the other people he had positively influenced, proving just how meaningful his presence had been over the years.

    Ibelin’s Funeral and Legacy

    After Mats’ death, the emotional weight of his digital connections became evident. When his parents announced his death on his blog, there was an outpouring of emails filled with love, sympathy, and support for Mats / Ibelin and his family. One email read, “What mattered to Mats was being able to spread joy in our lives. And stuff I learned from his example has changed the way I think about life. I hope that wherever he is, he knows that he’s remembered and treasured, and smiling right now.” Five of his online friends from multiple different countries attended his funeral, showing how deeply these connections extended outside of the virtual world. The Starlight community also organized their own virtual funeral for Ibelin, which has now become an annual tradition to honor his memory.

    Studies Supporting the Value of Online Gaming

    A well-known study (PDF) by Nick Yee (2006) identified three primary motivations for playing MMORPGs (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games), such as World of Warcraft. Each of these motivations can be seen in Mats’ experience as Ibelin:

    • Achievement: The drive to accomplish goals, gain recognition, and feel a sense of success. Mats fulfilled important roles within the game, like his ‘investigator job,’ which gave him a sense of duty and made him feel valued and respected as a member of the Starlight team.
    • Social Interaction: The desire to connect, build relationships, and be part of a community. Mats was an active member of the Starlight community, where he built meaningful friendships both online and offline, including his connections with Reike (Xenia) and Rumour (Lisette).
    • Immersion: The desire to lose oneself in a fantasy world and experience life through a completely new perspective. Mats immersed himself in his avatar Ibelin and the virtual world of Azeroth, finding freedom from his chronic illness and experiencing life in a way that was uniquely empowering and uplifting. 

    In another related study published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, researchers found that players often experience deep social connections within their gaming communities which can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation, especially for those who struggle with social anxiety or shyness. And a study in Computers in Human Behavior indicated that the collaborative nature of online games encourages many pro-social attributes such as improved communication, trust, and shared purpose.

    All of these elements are evident in Mats’ story, where his participation in the Starlight community gave him a valued role within a group and elevated his sense of identity and self-worth – all of which are important pillars in building a meaningful life. For individuals facing challenges like physical disabilities or social anxiety, online games can provide an accessible way to fulfill essential psychological needs that may be harder to meet in the physical world.

    Feeling Like You Made a Difference Somewhere

    One of the most meaningful aspects of Mats’ journey as Ibelin was his desire to make a difference in the lives of others. Despite his fears of dying without leaving a mark, Mats’ impact was undeniable. Through his friendships with Rumour, Reike, and others, he provided emotional support, created lasting memories, and changed lives for the better. His story reminds us that feeling like we have made a difference — whether in the physical or digital world —is a fundamental human need that gives life purpose.

    The annual virtual memorials held by the Starlight community, the heartfelt emails his parents received, and the international attendance at his funeral are all powerful symbols of the difference Mats made. His story shows that creating a positive impact on others isn’t just about physical presence, but ultimately the energy you give to others.

    Conclusion

    The Remarkable Life of Ibelin invites us to reconsider how we view digital spaces and the potential they hold for providing meaning, connection, and purpose. The emotional weight of Mats’ story moved me deeply—I’ll admit that by the end of the documentary I was tearing up a little bit, but that shows how powerful “just digital” relationships can be and how inseparable they are from our broader reality. For Mats Steen, World of Warcraft was more than just a game—it was a lifeline, a place where he could be a stronger and more confident version of himself, find love and romantic connection, and support his friends in a real and tangible way. His story is a powerful reminder that behind every avatar is a real person, and that the connections we form online can be just as enriching and life-changing as those we form in the physical world.  

    If you’re looking for more insightful documentaries, check out my recommended list of documentaries here.



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    Steven Handel

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  • The Compliment Sandwich: How to Give Constructive Feedback That Sticks

    The Compliment Sandwich: How to Give Constructive Feedback That Sticks

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    Want to make your advice and feedback more digestible? Learn how to make a “Compliment Sandwich” to deliver constructive criticism in a more positive and motivating way.


    Have you ever struggled to share your thoughts with a colleague or friend without sounding too harsh? Being able to offer advice, feedback, and constructive input is an essential skill in both personal and professional environments. However, striking the right balance between positive reinforcement and helpful critique can be tricky.

    The “Compliment Sandwich” is one effective technique for delivering constructive criticism. It works by balancing both positive and negative comments, making it easier for the recipient to agree and act upon your suggestion. Here’s how it looks in action.

    What Is the Compliment Sandwich?

    The main goal of the “Compliment Sandwich” is to deliver criticism while maintaining a positive tone throughout the conversation.

    It involves three key parts:

    • Positive Opening (First Slice of Bread): Start with a genuine compliment or acknowledgment of something the person is doing well. This sets a positive tone and makes the recipient feel valued right away.
    • Constructive Critique (The Filling): Present the main feedback or critique in a clear, supportive way. This is the heart of the feedback where you address what needs improvement or adjustment.
    • Positive Closing (Second Slice of Bread): End with another positive or encouraging statement to reinforce your support and motivate the recipient. This leaves them feeling confident and balanced.

    Practical Applications and Examples

    Here are some hypothetical examples to show how the Compliment Sandwich works in practice. Remember, these aren’t scripts to follow word-for-word, just guidelines to inspire your own approach.

    1. Workplace Feedback

    Scenario: Addressing an employee’s inconsistent communication with the team.

    • Positive Opening: “I really appreciate the effort you put into your work and the unique insights you bring to our projects.”
    • Constructive Critique: “Lately, I’ve noticed some delays in team updates, which can make it harder for everyone to stay aligned and avoid miscommunication. Improving this will help the team function more smoothly.”
    • Positive Closing: “I look forward to seeing what you contribute to the team’s future success.”

    2. Teacher and Student

    Scenario: A teacher providing feedback on an essay.

    • Positive Opening: “Your thesis is engaging, and it’s clear you put a lot of thought into your argument.”
    • Constructive Critique: “To strengthen your essay, consider adding recent studies or relevant examples to support your ideas.”
    • Positive Closing: “You’re on the right track, I’m excited to see how this will evolve with the added research—I have no doubt it will be excellent!”

    3. Personal Relationships

    Scenario: Talking to a friend who tends to dominate conversations.

    • Positive Opening: “I always enjoy talking with you because you have so many great stories.”
    • Constructive Critique: “Sometimes I don’t get a chance to share my thoughts as much. It would mean a lot to me if we could balance our conversations a bit more.”
    • Positive Closing: “I love our chats and look forward to many more. Your energy makes them lively!”

    4. Coaching in Sports

    Scenario: A coach providing feedback on a player’s performance.

    • Positive Opening: “I love the energy and determination you bring to every game.”
    • Constructive Critique: “Your defensive positioning needs some improvement, I can help you work on that during practice this weekend.”
    • Positive Closing: “Keep up the hard work, and I know with some adjustments, you’ll be a better player all around.”

    Tips for Effectiveness

    • Be Genuine: Sincere compliments are essential to avoid feedback feeling manipulative. Always be truthful.
    • Learn to Find the Good: Practice recognizing positive traits in others. This makes it easier to offer genuine compliments and feedback.
    • Remember the Positivity Ratio: Aim for a 3:1 ratio of positive to critical feedback to maintain motivation and foster growth.
    • Share Good News: Inject positivity by sharing good news, which can have a “bless the messenger” effect, where people feel more positive towards a person delivering uplifting information. 
    • Adjust for Context: Tailor your feedback based on the recipient and situation. Some prefer gentle handling, while others want direct feedback.

    Limitations of the Compliment Sandwich

    The Compliment Sandwich has been widely used as a feedback tool, originating from management and communication training programs, typically in a corporate or organizational setting. Despite its popularity, it has drawbacks. One major criticism is that it can feel formulaic if used too often. When feedback follows the same pattern every time, it risks sounding insincere, reducing its effectiveness. The best feedback is organic and authentic. Use the Compliment Sandwich as a flexible guideline, not a rigid formula. Adapt your specific feedback based on the situation and the individual. Keep your communication fresh and spontaneous.

    Psychological Foundations: Priming and the Recency Effect

    The effectiveness of the Compliment Sandwich can be better understood through psychological principles like priming and the recency effect.

    Priming is about how an initial stimulus can influence how someone perceives a subsequent one. In this context, the initial positive statement can make someone more open to subsequent feedback. Starting with praise sets a receptive tone, reducing defensiveness when delivering constructive critique.

    The recency effect means people remember the last part of an experience most clearly. Ending feedback with a positive comment leverages this effect, leaving the recipient with a favorable impression and motivating them to act on the critique.

    The main takeaway? Start and end on a good note. It’s a simple yet powerful and scientifically-backed way to boost the effectiveness of your communication while maintaining truth and honesty.

    Conclusion

    The Compliment Sandwich can be an effective way to deliver balanced and constructive feedback when used thoughtfully. The key is to avoid being scripted and to ensure that your feedback is sincere and unrehearsed. Try using the Compliment Sandwich the next time you give feedback and see if it changes the way people respond to your feedback and suggestions.


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  • Why Feeling Fear Can Be So Much Fun, According to a Psychologist

    Why Feeling Fear Can Be So Much Fun, According to a Psychologist

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    Each Halloween season, people flip on horror movies, venture into haunted houses, dress up in scary Halloween costumes, and otherwise dare to expose themselves to various goose-bumps-inducing experiences. And of course, many of us, myself included, love a good horror movie no matter the time of year.

    But why do we go out of our way to experience fear — exposing our psyches to serial killers, demons, and death in the process? Why would we want to be shocked, terrified, bamboozled, or creeped up on, especially in a world that offers more than enough to be afraid of already?

    As it turns out, there are actually plenty of psychological and scientific reasons why many of us enjoy fear and horror. (For some of us, Halloween can even make us horny!) Ahead of the spooky holiday, we’re exploring why many of us yearn to get scared out of our minds instead of just popping on a rom-com and calling it a night.

    Experts Featured in This Article

    Robi Ludwig, PsyD, is a psychotherapist and regular contributor on Nightline, CNN, Headline News, and Fox.

    Why Do We Enjoy Feeling Scared?

    Fear Can Trigger Pleasure in Our Brains

    It turns out that brain chemistry may be at the heart of why fear is so appealing to some people. Fear is handled by our amygdalas, which are clusters of neurons tucked away in the center of our brains. When we feel afraid, the amygdala stimulates the hypothalamus, which triggers the sympathetic nervous system and our adrenal system, sending adrenaline and endorphins coursing through our bodies.

    All this leads to a physical rush. Our heart rates increase, we start breathing more heavily and sending more oxygen to our brains, glucose levels spike in our blood, and we generally feel stronger and more alert — a sensation some people might describe as “feeling alive.” Yet not all kinds of fear are created equal when it comes to how they play out in the brain and body, and there’s a big difference between the fear we feel when a threat is real versus when we know it’s not.

    “There is something enjoyable about being frightened and getting that adrenaline rush while simultaneously knowing at the same time, we’re safe,” Robi Ludwig, PsyD, tells PS. Multiple recent studies have found that while a rush of fear of any kind may initially register in the body as a sign of danger, as soon as we remember that the threat isn’t real, our brain may release floods of dopamine. This can trigger a sense of relief, dulling the intensity of our amygdala’s reaction and allowing us to feel a pleasant rush without the more unpleasant consequences fear can invoke.

    Fear Can Be a Learning Experience

    All of the above explains why some of us like feeling the physical sensations fear creates, but they don’t exactly explain why so many of us are so drawn to true crime, horror flicks, and other stories that focus on behavior we’d likely never want to come in contact with in real life. It also doesn’t explain why people who don’t enjoy adrenaline rushes often still seek out fear-inducing experiences. As it turns out, according to a series of recent studies conducted at Denmark’s Recreational Fear Lab at Aarhus University, many of us may be drawn to fear, scary movies, true crime, and the like because these things can subconsciously help us feel like we’re preparing and learning about ourselves and the world.

    By learning as much as we can about how our bodies react to fright and about how other people have fared in terrifying situations, our brains may feel like they’re studying what to do if anything bad actually happens to us. So the next time you go down a Wikipedia rabbit hole researching Jeffrey Dahmer, remember that your brain simply might be trying, in its strange and roundabout way, to protect you.

    We may also be drawn to fear and horror for evolutionary reasons. After all, we’ve been hardwired to focus on threats since tigers lurked on the edges of our caves. “Humans, broadly, are built to be intrigued by and alert to potentially dangerous situations,” Aarhus University researcher Coltan Scrivner, whose research largely focuses on the concept of “morbid curiosity” — which he describes as “a common psychological trait” in a 2021 study published in ScienceDirect — told Time. “We’re curious about threats in our environment. So anytime we get a hint that there might be information about danger out there, the attention mechanisms in our minds sort of kick on and guide us toward that information.”

    Fear Can Allow Us to Engage With Negative Emotions and Taboos

    Our fascination with horror, specifically, can actually extend even deeper than a love of adrenaline or a desire to protect ourselves, stretching all the way down to the shadowier sides of our psyches. According to Dr. Ludwig, yet another reason we may be drawn to disturbing and twisted tales is because they allow us to engage with suppressed and taboo aspects of ourselves.

    “There’s something vicariously thrilling about seeing somebody acting in a primal way, because these are thoughts and feelings that most people have had,” she explains. “When you’re really angry with somebody and you’d like to see them walk in front of a bus, the feeling may not be permanent; it may just be a fantasy about being able to harm somebody and feeling all-powerful and not vulnerable. But when we look to criminals or true crime shows, this allows us to look at very dark emotions and actions that we don’t have to own as our own.”

    Engaging with horror and fear can also be a way to process and cope with emotions that we normally suppress in our daily lives. On the other hand, it can also act as an escape from negative emotions. “Fear locks you into the present moment. It’s a distraction from other preoccupations that we might have in our life, especially when it’s for entertainment purposes,” Dr. Ludwig says. A good fright, she adds, can even sometimes “jolt us out of feeling depressed or out of depressive disorders.” Fear can also help some people on an existential level; there’s nothing like watching a victim in “Saw” undergo hours of torture to remind you that your life isn’t so bad after all.

    Fear Can Be Communally Cathartic

    I probably fall into each of the three above categories a little bit. I’ve gone bungee jumping to experience thrills, researched serial killers for hours in order to try to understand their motivations, and certainly felt very grateful for my own life after watching “Midsommar.”

    But in truth, the time I enjoy feeling fear (in safe contexts) the most is when I’m able to experience it with others. Growing up, I often watched horror films with my brother, cousins, or groups of friends, and I have fond memories of all of us screaming together, cracking jokes about their absurdity, or otherwise somehow managing to have a great time as we watched slashers, ghosts, and demons tear up the screen.

    There was always a kind of communal catharsis to those experiences, and strangely enough, nowadays, horror movies remind me of home — and by that I mean they remind me of good times spent daring each other to go into spooky basements, clinging to each other as we rode up and down roller coasters, or screaming “RUN!” at the TV while watching “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

    Of course, everyone experiences fear differently, but one thing is clear: there’s nothing wrong with people who want to flip on “The Shining” and then hold a séance in an abandoned mansion, just as there’s nothing wrong with anyone who’d prefer to cozy up and watch “Hocus Pocus.” We’re all just humans trying our best to live in a scary world, and sometimes, a little fear in a safe container seems to be exactly what we need.

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    Eden Arielle Gordon

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  • 9 Ways to Respond to Political Misinformation

    9 Ways to Respond to Political Misinformation

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    It’s been an intense election season, from a candidate’s momentous dropout to meme-generating debates to assassination attempts. And that’s just accounting for the things that did happen—not the ones that were made up but generated extensive attention, like fake celebrity endorsements, false claims about Haitian immigrants eating pets, and conspiracy theories about the government’s hurricane-response efforts.

    It’s anyone’s guess what else will transpire in the lead-up to Nov. 5. Yet misinformation will inevitably continue to spread—and you may encounter it in conversations with friends or family members. It can be helpful to have a plan for how to respond. “Most people who are passing along misinformation are doing it inadvertently—they heard something somewhere that they believed,” says Dan Pfeiffer, co-host of the podcast Pod Save America. “If you believe they actually want to know the truth, then you want to at least give them the opportunity to [understand] the correct information and to stop passing along the incorrect information or spreading a conspiracy theory.”

    Of course, not everyone is open to rethinking their perspectives. Pfeiffer speaks from personal experience: He was an advisor to Barack Obama when misinformation about the former president’s birth certificate reached a fever pitch. Many people are too attached to their ideology to care about the facts, he says, allowing their personal beliefs to eclipse evidence to the contrary. “They’re motivated to believe what they believe, and they’ll recreate the world to fit into that,” he says. Others, though—“your skeptical cousin who is not as ideological”—are more open to reasoning.

    With that in mind, we asked experts exactly what to say the next time you encounter misinformation.

    “Do you mind telling me where you heard that?”

    Your first move when someone tells you something false or misleading should be asking where they heard it—which reveals a lot about what types of sources they rely on. “Is it something they read somewhere? Is it something someone else told them?” Pfeiffer asks. Depending on what they say, it might be helpful to then explain that it’s important to check additional sources to get a full picture—or to ask them how they concluded the claim is true, which promotes critical thinking without directly challenging their beliefs.

    Read More: How to Survive Election Season Without Losing Your Mind

    Keep in mind that tone and delivery are key, Pfeiffer adds. “Approach it from a perspective of grace,” he stresses. “One of the mistakes a lot of folks make is that they talk down to the people passing along misinformation. If you treat them as being naive or foolish, or look down your nose at them,” you’re not going to get anywhere.

    “I heard the football coach say ____. Do you think their perspective is worth considering?”

    If you want to provide someone with counter-information, it has to come from a source they trust, Pfeiffer says. Keep in mind that’s likely different from your go-to sources; not everyone, for example, gravitates toward traditional media outlets. In these cases, it’s often more effective to point them toward people in their community or network who are “very influential, like a teacher, coach, or the fire chief,” Pfeiffer says. Slamming their preferred source will only backfire. “People are very, very skeptical of information, so if they’ve put their trust in something, they’ve already crossed a pretty big chasm,” he adds. “Simply saying, ‘Well, that news outlet is filled with lies’ or ‘That person is full of it’ is insulting their judgment.”

    “I noticed that different media sources are focusing on different information. Mine seem to be focusing on ___. What draws you to your sources?”

    There are many narratives about the 2024 presidential election—and the ones you hear most loudly depend on who and what you’re paying attention to. Asking your friend what appeals to them about the sources they trust can open up a deeper conversation about the ways that different outlets approach coverage. “You can acknowledge that your sources are always giving you a certain angle on things, too,” says Tania Israel, a professor of counseling psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and author of Beyond Your Bubble: How to Connect Across the Political Divide. “It’s not calling out the media as being biased—it’s acknowledging that they’re going to take an angle, and it helps us be more informed consumers when we can recognize that angle.”

    “What worries you the most about that?”

    If someone tells you something you know isn’t true, respond by saying you’re curious what meaning that information has for them, Israel suggests. Maybe, for example, they’ve heard that immigrant children are being separated from their parents at the border and then sold into slavery. If you know that’s what concerns them, you can tailor your follow-ups accordingly: “I also care a lot about children, and I think it’s really important we keep them safe.” It’s an effective way to find common ground, build trust, and learn more about their thought process, Israel points out. “We’re not saying it’s true, and we’re not saying it’s not true,” she says. “We’re inquiring more about that person—it’s about the meaning and the concerns that underlie the grip that misinformation has on them.”

    Read More: How to Stop Checking Your Phone Every 10 Seconds

    “Let’s not forget, these stories involve real people with real lives.”

    Employ this response if a conversation turns toward dehumanizing political rhetoric, like about immigration, social justice, or another polarizing issue, suggests Sophia Fifner, president and CEO of the Columbus Metropolitan Club in Ohio, a civic engagement group that hosts weekly town hall-style forums. “This phrase shifts the focus back to our shared humanity,” she says. “It’s a reminder that behind every news story, there are individuals who are impacted.” Speak from the heart, Fifner urges: “This isn’t just about the facts. It’s about connecting with the person you’re talking to on an emotional level—and fostering empathy.”

    “Before we get too deep, can we take a step back and think about who benefits from this narrative?”

    Fifner has found this is an effective approach when someone shares misinformation that’s particularly divisive or inflammatory—in other words, intended to provoke rather than inform. “You’re encouraging them to consider the motive behind the information,” she says. “It’s a subtle way of inviting them to question the intention of the sources they trust, leading to a more critical understanding.” Keep things casual and conversational, she advises; the goal is to spark curiosity, not accuse or create defensiveness. “It’s about planting a seed of doubt that encourages deeper thinking,” she says.

    “Would it be OK if I looked into this and shared what I find? Maybe we can compare notes.”

    Try this response with close friends and family members, suggests Justin Jones-Fosu, author of I Respectfully Disagree: How to Have Difficult Conversations in a Divided World. It tends to work better than straight-up telling them they’re wrong, which inevitably triggers defensiveness. Plus, it encourages more research, which could help them reconsider the source of their information. “By framing it as a team effort,” he says, “you create a safer environment for dialogue.”

    Read More: Why Gut Health Issues Are More Common in Women

    “With so many fake videos and images circulating online, I’ve started asking more questions before I accept anything as real. Do you happen to know where this came from?”

    Digital deception has been a theme of the 2024 election season. It’s hard to tell what’s a real image, and what’s AI-generated—and this is a way to highlight the prevalence of deepfakes without accusing the other person of naivety or bad intentions, Jones-Fosu says: “It introduces a small degree of doubt, prompting the person to think more critically without feeling embarrassed.” By asking about the source, he adds, you initiate a shift from passive consumption to active evaluation.

    “I’ve definitely been in situations where I believed something that turned out to be untrue, so I totally understand.”

    No matter which precise words you use, keep in mind that, most of the time, people aren’t spreading misinformation maliciously—which is why a compassionate approach is so essential. Jones-Fosu sometimes opens conversations like this: “I know you probably didn’t intend to spread misinformation, but I did some research, and here’s what I found.” That phrasing assumes good intent, he says, and focuses on the facts rather than casting blame. Sharing a personal story, like the time you were fooled by a fake image as you scrolled through Facebook, can also help reduce tension. “Vulnerability shows empathy,” he says, “and makes it more likely that the other person will listen to what you have to say.”

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    Angela Haupt

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  • Partnership provides mental health first aid training to 9th graders

    Partnership provides mental health first aid training to 9th graders

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    A new program meant to certify all Gloucester High ninth-graders in Teen Mental Health First Aid was kicked off Monday.

    The program is a new partnership among Gloucester Public Schools, the city’s Health Department, the Cape Ann YMCA and the Justice Resource Institute.

    Powering implementation of the program is funding from The Tower Foundation awarded to the Health Department, according to Amy Kamm, the school department’s director of mental health and social-emotional learning.

    Teen Mental Health First Aid is an evidence-based training that teaches teens to identify, understand and respond to signs of mental health and substance use challenges in their friends and peers. The training is designed to provide teens with the skills for supportive conversations with their friends and emphasizes the importance of getting help from a responsible and trusted adult, according to a statement from the partnership.

    “Last year this program was piloted with 10th graders in homerooms,” Gloucester High Principal James Cook said. “To ensure a more comprehensive implementation this year it will be embedded into our standard ninth-grade health and wellness curriculum.”

    “Certified trainers,” he said, “will present to five classes a week for six weeks and topics include mental health challenges and their impact, effective treatments, helping a friend in crisis, where and how to get the help of a trusted adult, and recovery and resiliency.”

    At issue, teens tend to turn to each other when stressed or upset and try to help, sometimes taking on too much. Teen Mental Health First Aid teaches teens they don’t have to take on these problems alone.

    “By offering the Teen Mental Health First Aid program,” Kamm said, “Gloucester High School and the Gloucester Health Department aim to promote help-seeking behavior; improve a young person’s ability to identify resources of support; and to increase mental health literacy including improved ability to identify mental health struggles in themselves and their peers and when needed, to connect to a trusted adult.”

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    By Times Staff

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  • Introvert Warren Buffett Reveals Secret to Public Speaking | Entrepreneur

    Introvert Warren Buffett Reveals Secret to Public Speaking | Entrepreneur

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    Most people (56.8%) around the world identify as introverts, according to a 2020 study from The Myers-Briggs Company. Those with an introverted personality are often reflective and self-aware, prefer to write rather than speak and feel tired after being in a crowd.

    Naturally, many introverts aren’t big fans of public speaking. Addressing an audience might be an inevitable part of professional life, but the average introvert probably isn’t clamoring to get in front of a group.

    Related: I Work With Warren Buffett. He’s Probably the Smartest Person in the World — Here’s the Best Advice He’s Given Me.

    Even the most successful business leaders in the world aren’t immune to stage fright.

    Warren Buffett, the 94-year-old billionaire chairman and CEO of conglomerate holding company Berkshire Hathaway, considers himself an introvert. In his biography The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life by Alice Schroeder, he admits that speaking in front of a crowd used to make him physically ill.

    Image Credit: Chip Somodevilla | Getty Images. Warren Buffett.

    “I was terrified of public speaking,” Buffett says. “You can’t believe what I was like if I had to give a talk. I was so terrified that I just couldn’t do it. I would throw up. In fact, I arranged my life so that I never had to get up in front of anybody.”

    Related: In Leadership, Introversion Is Underrated — and Warren Buffett and Bill Gates Share How They Use It to Their Advantage.

    After Buffett graduated from Columbia Business School, where he studied under investor Benjamin Graham, he returned to Omaha, Nebraska. There, he saw an advertisement for a public speaking course using the Dale Carnegie method.

    Buffett was familiar with Carnegie’s 1936 self-help book How to Win Friends & Influence People, and he’d even signed up for a Carnegie public speaking class in New York — before he backed out and stopped payment on the $100 check.

    Buffett decided to give the course another chance in Omaha.

    “I took a hundred bucks in cash and gave it to Wally Keenan, the instructor, and said, ‘Take it before I change my mind,’” he recalls in The Snowball.

    Related: 5 Mega-Successful Entrepreneurs Who Are Introverts

    In Keenan’s class at Omaha’s Rome Hotel, Buffett discovered the key to conquering his public speaking fears.

    “The way it works is that you learn to get out of yourself,” Buffett explains. “I mean, why should you be able to talk alone with somebody five minutes before and then freeze in front of a group? So they teach you the psychological tricks to overcome this. Some of it is just practice — just doing it and practicing.”

    Practicing under the same conditions in which you’ll speak or otherwise perform can help promote success in high-pressure situations, Sian Beilock, cognitive scientist and current president of Dartmouth College, told Entrepreneur in 2022.

    Related: Steve Jobs’ Public Speaking Power Moves Remain Just as Relevant Today, 13 Years After His Final Keynote at the Apple Developers Conference

    Additionally, it can help to take a step back as the event draws near, according to Beilock. Then, during the high-stakes moment, she suggests interpreting physiological responses positively; for example, consider sweaty palms or a racing heart signs of excitement rather than anxiety.

    “And it worked,” Buffett says of the psychological techniques he learned in his public speaking class many decades ago. “That’s the most important degree that I have.”

    Buffett‘s certification of completion for the Carnegie course, dated January 1952, hangs above the sofa in his office, according to Schroeder’s account.

    Related: I Spent a Day Living Like Billionaire Warren Buffett. Here’s What Happened.

    Now, Buffett stands in front of an audience of 40,000 at Berkshire Hathaway’s annual shareholder meeting, where attendees line up hours before the event to listen to the Oracle of Omaha speak.

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    Amanda Breen

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  • Unbelievable facts

    Unbelievable facts

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    Studies confirm that men often mistake friendly behavior from women as flirting, due to misreading…

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  • In Defense of Spoiling the End of the TV Show

    In Defense of Spoiling the End of the TV Show

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    The premiere of the first-ever season of The Golden Bachelorette has been on my calendar for months. I can’t wait to watch 24 men who have aged exceedingly well climb out of their limos and greet the star, Joan Vassos, on Sept. 18 at the Bachelor Mansion. I’ll pay special attention to a few of them—because I already know exactly which guys are making it to hometowns and fantasy suites, and which one will walk away with the final rose.

    No, I’m not clairvoyant—don’t ask me how long Vassos and her leading man will last in the real world—and no, I don’t have an in with the network. I just happen to love spoilers. If I don’t know exactly how a TV show or movie I’m watching ends when I’m at the beginning, I won’t watch. I flip to the last few pages of books for the same reason. The uncertainty—and possibility that the ending will crush me into smithereens—gives me a boatload of angst that I definitely don’t need.

    I’m far from alone: Just ask the guy who’s made a career out of spoiling The Bachelor franchise. “I’m not getting people to turn off the show, or not to watch,” says Steve Carbone, a Dallas-based blogger better known by his internet moniker, Reality Steve. “It’s just watching differently.” Carbone started blogging about The Bachelor in 2003, and in 2009, he received his first spoiler from a tipster—correctly revealing a couple weeks in advance that Jason Mesnick would dump his chosen winner, Melissa Rycroft, in favor of his runner-up and now-wife, Molly. It was Carbone’s big break: After he posted the spoiler, his following and credibility skyrocketed. “Then every season, people just kept coming to me with info.” He started dropping tidbits about Vassos’ season of The Golden Bachelorette during filming in July, and revealed her final four on Aug. 27, three weeks before the show was slated to air.

    Carbone now has hundreds of thousands of spoiler-hungry followers on Instagram and X, as well as a popular podcast, and his spoilers are the subject of much discussion in niche corners of the internet, like the daily “spoiler” thread in The Bachelor subreddit. While he doesn’t personally like his entertainment spoiled, he gets why other people do. “The biggest thing I’ve gotten from people is that they tell me they watch for a particular edit”—like who’s being portrayed as a villain or set up to be the heartbroken runner-up—“because they know when this person is leaving, or when this person is getting a one-on-one date,” he says. “It’s like a CliffsNotes guide to watching.”

    Why do some people love spoilers, while others run away from them? I asked experts, including psychologists and researchers, to dig into spoiler culture and help make sense of the appeal.

    Spoilers don’t ruin stories

    When Jonathan Leavitt started researching spoilers, he wanted to prove that suspense is good—that waiting with bated breath to find out what happens enhances the reading or watching experience. Instead, according to study results published in Psychological Science, it turned out that people enjoy a story more when they know how it ends. (Hello, validation!) “It was definitely surprising,” says Leavitt, who now works as a data scientist.

    Why all the spoiler love? Leavitt suspects it has to do with the fact that stories are often complex and intentionally misleading—prompting tension and confusion. “When you know the outcome, you get to feel a lot smarter and make better inferences,” he says. “And, I believe, you ultimately understand the story better in the end.”

    Read More: 15 Things to Say When Someone Comments on Your Weight

    Take a mystery book, for example. Many of the clues sprinkled throughout the novel will be misdirects—but you already know who the killer is, because you flipped to the last page. “You’re seeing this one character act very suspicious, so it’s like, ‘People are going to think this person did it, but I know they didn’t,’” Leavitt says. “And then you might actually get a better idea of why they’re acting that way. You organize the elements of a story better in your mind, and you’re less fooled. There are fewer pathways to go down.”

    People often tell Leavitt they hate spoilers; maybe their favorite movie is The Sixth Sense, and they say that if they had known what happened, it would have ruined the whole thing. He likes to ask how many times they’ve watched it—and can’t help but smile when they say four or five times. It’s more evidence, he believes, that knowing what happens doesn’t derail enjoyment.

    During the many times Leavitt has rewatched The Lord of the Rings, for example, he’s found that he has the same fulfilling viewing experience he did the first time he watched. Once you’re transported into a different world and engaged in the production, that sense of immersion overrides what you already know about it. “We went in thinking spoilers are the antithesis of suspense,” he says, “but they are absolutely not.”

    A sense of comfort and control

    Alison McKleroy, a therapist in Oakland, Calif., sees a lot of spoiler lovers in her practice—and she, too, is one of them. “Earlier in my life I wanted a little more surprise and adventure, and now I love peace and relaxation,” she says. “I’ve done so much work to have a more peaceful nervous system with yoga and mindfulness. It just feels like I don’t need to undo that.”

    People who prefer spoilers typically value predictability, ease, comfort, clarity, and a sense of control, McKleroy says. The world is rife with uncertainty—she calls it “free anxiety”—so why subject yourself to more? For many people, not knowing what happens leads to anticipatory stress, or an increased stress response triggered by an unpredictable plot. “When you’re anticipating something bad happening—like for me, when the music starts to turn—your heart starts pumping, and you’re not enjoying yourself anymore,” she says. My anxiety, which is already high at baseline, spikes so much when I’m reading a thriller, or even watching a couple I’m rooting for break-up in a rom-com, that I simply can’t enjoy myself until I’m certain things will end in a satisfying way.

    Read More: Is Green Tea Really That Good for You?

    That resonates with Christina Scott, a social psychology professor at Whittier College in California and devoted spoiler lover. Her 10-year-old twins have even started asking for spoilers for the books they’re reading—maybe it’s genetic to a degree, she speculates. Either way, she likens a preference for spoilers to what people enjoy at amusement parks. “Some people want to go on roller coasters that flip them upside down,” she says. “I just want to go on the cute little merry-go-round. You need to do whatever’s going to help you enjoy the ride.”

    A desire to know what happens, from start to finish, might reflect an unmet need for certainty in our own lives, Scott theorizes. “There’s enough ambiguity and stress—enough cliffhangers in real-life existence—that you want to sit down and enjoy a movie that should be relaxing,” she says. “I think in some ways we also want that reassurance in our life, but it’s not possible.” She’s told her kids that she wishes she could see what they’ll become a couple decades down the line—and then she could easily weather the ups and downs of the impending teenage years. That same outlook translates to how she feels about what she watches and reads.

    Plus, while many people can keep some distance from the book or movie they’re consuming, spoiler lovers tend to be deeply empathetic. We put ourselves in the characters’ shoes and feel what they feel, at times perhaps because what they’re going through triggers a memory from our own life. “To invest in a character who’s now going to be blown to pieces—that’s the ultimate worst,” Scott says. “Knowing they’ll be OK allows you to feel safe in rooting for them and empathizing with them, because you know it will be worth the investment.” 

    Spoiler alert: No, she’s not going to change her ways

    Daniel Green, director of the master of entertainment industry management program at Carnegie Mellon University, does not seek out spoilers. He’s worked in TV production on shows like The Sopranos and Party of Five, so he has a traditional view of how media is meant to be consumed. “I like to go on the journey in my head, because all the writers took so much time to come up with it,” he says. “Really good stories are built on structure, and it goes 1-2-3. It doesn’t necessarily go 1-2-5-4.”

    It’s a convincing argument, and I admitted to Green that I can recall a couple times when I skipped to the end of a book—like Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl—only to become wildly disappointed that the big reveal was ruined. On the other hand: There have been countless more times when I let out a sign of relief after reading the last chapter, and then enjoyed it in its entirety, from start to finish. On other occasions, I’ve discovered a movie or book ending that rattled me to my core—looking at you, One Day—and crossed it off my list before ever starting, relieved I didn’t waste even more time on it.

    Plus, I keep returning to a point made by McKleroy, the therapist in California. When we’re in fight-or-flight mode, it’s hard to focus because our brain is working overtime to help ward off a threat. “If we’re running from a tiger in nature, we’re not going, ‘Oh, look at that beautiful butterfly going by,’ or, “Gosh, the sun is so pretty,’” she says. “From a nervous system perspective, people who engage in spoilers are actually getting to savor the beauty as it unfolds—and they have space to treasure the less obvious elements of the story.” It might not be exactly what a writer intended, but spoilers grant some of us the ability to enjoy and appreciate their work to the fullest possible extent.

    Read More: 8 Ways to Read More Books—And Why You Should

    There’s nothing wrong with needing to know what happens, Scott says, and no one should make you feel bad or embarrassed about it. If you’re watching a movie with someone, and they don’t get why you’re reading an annotated recap first, try explaining where you’re coming from. Scott advises wording it like this: “I understand this doesn’t work for you, but just like you want plain popcorn and I want mine buttered, this is what will help me enjoy the movie the most.” Sometimes, she says, your viewing partner might feel like you have an unfair “leg up” on them, because you know what happens and they don’t. “They might think they’ll look foolish based on their reaction [to certain parts], and feel like you have extra armor,” she says, which is why it’s helpful to shine light on your perspective—and to assure them you won’t spoil anything for them.

    Of course, it’s easiest when you don’t have to offer any explanation. Scott and I joked that we ought to start a spoiler lovers support group, a place for people like us to come together, no judgment, and bond over the joy of knowing what to expect. We’d all meet at the movie theater—and ease into the film with the comforting knowledge of what comes last.

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    Angela Haupt

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  • Unbelievable facts

    Unbelievable facts

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    The Flynn Effect shows that average IQ scores are steadily rising with each generation. IQ tests are…

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  • The Worldbuilding of Inside Out 2: New Emotions, Belief System, and a Sense of Self

    The Worldbuilding of Inside Out 2: New Emotions, Belief System, and a Sense of Self

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    “Inside Out 2” introduces new emotions like Anxiety and Envy as Riley navigates the challenges of growing up and forming her sense of self. This heartfelt sequel naturally builds on the inner world of its predecessor, teaching important lessons in mental health for both children and adults.


    The original “Inside Out” (2015) was a monumental Pixar film that humorously depicted the chaotic inner world of emotions that we all have to navigate.

    In the first one, the young protagonist Riley had to learn that negative emotions like “Sadness” (a blue-colored character) aren’t something that have to be avoided at all costs, but are appropriate emotions to feel sometimes, and even a necessary function of a happy and healthy life. It was a powerful lesson in emotional intelligence that resonated with both children and adults alike.

    The sequel “Inside Out 2” (2024) continues to build off of these themes in a fun, organic, and intuitive way. Riley is now thirteen and about to enter high school. She starts to experience a new range of emotions (especially “Anxiety” and “Envy”), which start to influence her newly forming “belief system” and a “sense of self.”

    The creators of the Inside Out franchise have a team of psychologists that help them illustrate key concepts in an imaginative way, which makes this film both enjoyable and educational. This article will explore some of the new concepts in the film and how the mental world-building in the franchise continues to expand.

    New Emotions

    Inside Out 2 introduces a bunch of new emotions into Riley’s inner world. In addition to the original line-up (Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger, Disgust), they also include:

    • Anxiety (orange): The focus of the film. Anxiety is always thinking ahead and wanting what is best for Riley, but also overworks and overworries her. The main narrative of the film shows Riley wanting to become the best hockey player she can possibly be; anxiety tries to help her achieve this by motivating Riley to constantly push herself forward, wake up early to train more, and work harder. However, too much anxiety distracts her from other core values in life, such as kindness and friendship, and also hurts her ability to just have fun and enjoy the game of hockey. At the climax of the film, Anxiety works itself up into such a frenzy that it freezes and has a panic attack (this scene has resonated with a lot of people who have experienced similar attacks, including myself). Riley must learn that while anxiety can be a powerful motivator it also needs to be balanced with feelings of acceptance, relaxation, and joy.
    • Envy (cyan): This emotion is always admiring others, looking up to them, and wanting what they have. When Riley first meets her hockey idols, she becomes envious of how “cool” and “successful” they are, so she strives to become just like them by mimicking them and copying their behaviors, including at one point dying her hair the same way to be more like them. Like all emotions, envy and jealousy can be insightful emotions with the right perspective: they can show us what we want or value in life. However when our lives are completely run by these feelings, we end up trying to be something we’re not.
    • Embarrassment (pink): A big goofy emotion that looks away and covers his head in a hoodie whenever something shameful or embarrassing happens to Riley. It’s interesting to note that many of the new emotions added have a social component to them. This makes sense as Riley comes of age and begins to balance her self-perception with how she is perceived by others.

      inside out 2 emotions characters
      All of the emotions in Inside Out 2 (both old and new). One cool thing about each emotion is that it is naturally paired with a specific color. Sadness is blue, Anger is red, Joy is yellow, Disgust is green, and Anxiety is orange.

    • Ennui/Boredom (purple): A humorous emotion with a stereotypically snobby French accent that constantly pretends to not be interested in anything. They will often deflect serious or uncomfortable situations with sarcasm, irony, or feigned disinterest. This character cleverly shows how many people use sarcasm as a defense mechanism when they are too afraid to be honest or sincere about their true thoughts and feelings. It reflects a common attitude among teenagers and young adults where it’s perceived as “lame” to care too much about anything.
    • Nostalgia (beige): This emotion is a side character that pops up a couple times throughout the film. Each time the other emotions humorously tell “Nostalgia” that she is arriving too soon, and that Riley has to at least wait for her first date, first kiss, or graduation before she starts reminiscing on the past. Perhaps Nostalgia will be the main character in Inside Out 10, when Riley is much older and has already lived the bulk of her life.

    The original creator Pete Docter conceived of between 5-27 emotions that could be added to the Inside Out world, so it’s likely newer emotions will continue to be introduced if the series keeps going. Check out different classifications of emotions here, the original five in the movie are based on Paul Ekman’s model (excluding “surprise”).

    Belief System and Sense of Self

    One of the most interesting new features added to the Inside Out world is the idea of a “belief system.”

    In the first movie, they introduced the concept of a “core memory” as a highly emotionally charged event that is then stored in Riley’s brain. Now these core memories can be brought to the “belief system” and turned into a belief (or recurring thought pattern). For example, when Riley fails an important exam at school, that core memory may be turned into the belief, “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not smart enough.”

    Here’s how the belief system is visually represented, it looks similar to a bunch of neurons in a brain. Each ray of light represents one specific belief:

    All of these beliefs come together to create Riley’s “sense of self.” This is depicted in the movie as a type of “electric tree,” with its roots representing each core belief.

    At first the character Joy takes complete control over Riley’s “sense of self.” It only feeds positive memories and positive beliefs into her belief system, and tries to protect her from negative memories by throwing them into the “back of the mind” where they can be ignored forever.

    When the emotion Anxiety takes over, only negative beliefs are fed into the sense of self, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I need to be better.” The “sense of self” changes color and shape to reflect these changes in how Riley sees herself.

    After Riley suffers from a panic attack during a hockey game due to being completely controlled by Anxiety, the character Joy intervenes and gets Anxiety to “let go” of the controls.

    In the outside world, Riley practices a grounding technique by making note of her five senses and taking deep breaths to bring herself back to the present moment. She then does the right thing by apologizing to her friends for being so mean and distant toward them.

    Finally Riley “calls” Joy back to her and allows herself to have fun playing the rest of the hockey game with her friends.

    By the end of the movie, Riley forms a completely new “sense of self” that accepts all of her thoughts and feelings, even when they can be conflicting or contradictory at times. Riley’s emotions come together and realize that she needs all of them.

    No single emotion gets to determine who Riley is – they all contribute in helping Riley become the best version of herself.

    Conclusion

    Overall Inside Out 2 is a worthy sequel that builds off of its predecessor in an organic and intelligent way that is bound to resonate with both children and adults. Make sure to put it on your watchlist this year!


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    Steven Handel

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  • Your Cynicism Isn’t Helping Anybody

    Your Cynicism Isn’t Helping Anybody

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    When I describe “cynics,” you might conjure up a certain type of person: the toxic, smirking misanthrope, oozing contempt. But they are not a fixed category, like New Zealanders or anesthesiologists. Cynicism is a spectrum. We all have cynical moments, or in my case, cynical years.

    Cynicism—the belief that all people are selfish, greedy, and dishonest—is a natural response to a world reeling from social division, rising sea levels, and countless other problems.  But that doesn’t mean it helps us.  Cynics suffer at basically every level scientists can measure. They experience more depression, earn less money, and even die younger than non-cynics.  Cynical communities also do worse, socially and economically. 

    But despite the harm it causes, more people report being cynical now than in decades past.  Why?  One reason is our cultural norms.  These days, hope has been typecast as naïve or privileged, a way of ignoring our problems.  Cynicism, by contrast, seems wise and even moral.  But it turns out these beliefs are often backwards. 

    Let’s deconstruct these myths, one at a time.

    Myth: Cynicism is clever

    What is the opposite of a cynic? That’s easy: a rube, chump, or mark, whose naive optimism sets them up for betrayal. This stereotype reveals what most people believe: that cynics are smarter than non-cynics.

    Most people are wrong. In fact, cynics do worse on cognitive tests and have a harder time spotting liars than non-cynics. When we assume everyone is on the take, we don’t bother to explore what people are really like. Why? When someone has a blanket assumption about what everyone is like, they stop paying attention to signs about who can and cannot be trusted. They learn less about people, and can’t adapt to new situations. Gullible people might blindly trust others, but cynics blindly mistrust them.

    Myth: Cynicism is safe

    Every act of trust is a social gamble. When we place our money, secrets, or well-being in someone else’s hands, they have power over us. Most people who trust will get burned at some point. Those moments lodge themselves inside us, making us less likely to take chances again. By never trusting, cynics never lose.

    Read More: Anne Lamott’s Advice Could Stop You From Drowning in Cynicism

    They also never win. Refusing to trust anyone is like playing poker by folding every hand before it begins. Cynicism protects us from predators, but it also shuts down opportunities for collaboration, love, and community, all of which require trust. And though we forever remember people who hurt us, it’s harder to notice the friends we could have made if we’d been more open.

    Myth: Cynicism is moral

    Isn’t hope a privilege? Not everyone can afford to assume the best about people, especially if they have been harmed by a cruel system. In a world full of injustice, it may seem heartless to tell victims they should look on the bright side. Maybe optimists “hopewash” problems while cynics shed light on them.

    This idea is intuitive, but backward. Cynicism does tune people in to what’s wrong, but it also forecloses on the possibility of anything better. There’s no way to change a broken system if it’s a mirror that reflects our broken nature. Why, then, do anything? At my most cynical, I felt morally paralyzed. I stopped volunteering and protesting, wondering why my more active friends even bothered. Other cynics tend to follow suit, sitting out elections and social movements more often than non-cynics.

    But on the contrary, cynicism is not a radical worldview. It’s a tool of the status quo. This is useful to elites and propagandists sow distrust to better control people. Corrupt politicians gain cover by convincing voters that everyone is corrupt. Media companies trade in judgment and outrage. Our cynicism is their product, and business is booming.

    Our beliefs influence how we treat other people, which shapes how they act in return. Thoughts change the world, and cynicism is turning ours into a meaner, sadder, sicker place. All of this is deeply unpopular. Americans trust one another less than before, but 79% of us also think people trust too little. We loathe political rivals, but more than 80% of us also fear how divided we’ve become. Most of us want a society built on compassion and connection, but cynicism convinces us that things will get worse no matter what we do.

    So, we do nothing. And they worsen.

    But we don’t have to keep falling for cynicism’s allure. We can see it for what it is—a psychological trap—and adopt new ways of thinking. Rejecting cynicism doesn’t mean being gullible or naïve. A powerful alternative is skepticism: a scientific mindset where we focus on evidence to decide who we can believe in. If cynicism is a lack of faith in people, skepticism is a lack of faith in our assumptions. It allows us to neither blindly trust or blindly mistrust others, and to learn about our social world in a more agile way.

    Decades of science demonstrate that people don’t realize how caring, generous, and open minded others are.  Because of cynicism, the average person underestimates the average person.  Underneath that bad news is good news: If you pay closer attention, you’ll likely realize people are better than you think. Replacing cynicism with skepticism can bring us closer to the truth, and become more hopeful, too.

    Adapted from Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness by Jamil Zaki, PhD, published by Hachette Book Group. Copyright © 2024 by Jamil Zaki. Reprinted courtesy of Grand Central Publishing.

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    Jamil Zaki

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  • 7 Ways to Beat the End-of-Summer Blues, According to Psychologists 

    7 Ways to Beat the End-of-Summer Blues, According to Psychologists 

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    Do you feel sad as summer transitions into fall? You may have what social scientists and TikTokers alike call “end-of-summer sadness” or “end-of-summer blues.”

    There are biological, psychological, and social reasons for a seasonal mood swing. Daylight starts to wane and the temperature may drop, which can cause the body to generate less serotonin, a neurotransmitter linked to mood control and sensations of well-being, says biological psychologist Mary Poffenroth, author of Brave New You: Strategies, Tools, and Neurohacks to Live More Courageously Every Day. Melatonin levels, which are also linked to mood, also fluctuate, she explains.

    “There’s the likely dopamine crash that occurs when all the fun summer activities end, and we enter a lull of adjusting to going back to school or work,” says Gilly Kahn, a clinical psychologist based in Atlanta. Fall typically means increased demands on our time. “After more freedom and less responsibility, jumping back into regimented routines can be draining psychologically,” says Poffenroth.

    Though these emotions are natural, they are not beyond your control. “Our brains are remarkably neuroplastic, which lets us adjust to changes and affect our emotional states by deliberate behavior and thought patterns,” Poffenroth says. “Knowing the biological basis of end-of-summer blues will help us to apply scientifically based solutions to reduce its consequences.”

    Ahead are seven things you can do to keep the seasonal malaise at bay.

    Get excited to start a new chapter

    The most effective way to beat the end-of-summer blues is to find meaning and excitement in whatever you’re transitioning to next. “If the excitement isn’t already in there, I work with clients to find a way to add it,” she says. This approach is rooted in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which focuses on creating a sense of meaning in a person’s life by helping them identify and live by their values—like family, creativity, and adventure. “These are things we hold closely to our hearts, and they vary from person to person,” she says. “Doing things that are important to us improves mood, motivation, and persistence.”

    Read More: 9 Weird Symptoms Cardiologists Say You Should Never Ignore

    People can foster this mentality by starting a new hobby or making time for whatever they discovered they loved during the summer—like getting a bi-weekly massage or playing chess in the park (though as temperatures drop, you may have to seek out ways to continue certain activities indoors). An easy way to implement this strategy is simply to start planning. “If you went somewhere amazing this summer, planning your next trip can be a rewarding activity in itself,” Kahn says. Merely thinking about the future  “can be incredibly helpful” in making you feel excited and energized.”

    Chase natural light

    Exposure to natural light, especially in the morning, can help lower the production of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin and raise the production of mood-brightening serotonin. Poffenroth says this change in the balance of hormones can make you feel better, make you more alert, and improve your overall health. “Sunlight is also the body’s main source of vitamin D, which has been linked to controlling mood and preventing depressive symptoms,” she adds.

    For these reasons, Poffenroth urges people to actively seek out natural light. “This can make the change to fall easier and may even lessen the effects of the end-of-summer blues,” she says.

    Read More: Cuddling Might Help You Get Better Sleep

    A little goes a long way: Just walking for a few minutes around your block or neighborhood in the morning helps. Poffenroth says the ideal time to be in direct sunlight is between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m., as your body can create enough vitamin D during these hours with less chance of damaging your skin. (For those with darker skin, experts advise daily sun exposure of 25 to 40 minutes; for those with lighter skin, expert advise aiming for 10 to 15 minutes daily.)

    “Light therapy lamps can be revolutionary for those who find it difficult to get outside because of mobility problems or strict job schedules,” adds Poffenroth, who advises using a 10,000-lux light box seated about 12 to 24 inches away from it for about 20 to 30 minutes each morning. Another option is rearranging your workspace if you work from home so that your desk is near a window. Maximizing your exposure to natural light during your working hours can make a significant difference even if you cannot get outside as often as you’d like, notes Poffenroth.

    Address your anxiety

    Anxiety tends to set in when we realize there’s a “new beginning” on the horizon, says Kahn, whose therapy schedule typically fills up when the school year begins.

    It’s helpful to break up tasks and to create a manageable schedule for yourself. You can also remind yourself that many decisions are not permanent. “For example, if a teen signs up for a class and senses it may be too challenging for them in the first week, they may still transfer to a different class,” says Kahn. A lot of times, our brain tells us a situation is set in stone, but when we are able to take a step back, it’s easier to see that that isn’t necessarily true, she says.

    Embrace the power of play

    One of the best ways to fight the end-of-summer blues is to use the power of play to boost dopamine production in the brain, Poffenroth says. Playing, which takes many different forms for adults, uses the brain’s reward system to fight off bad feelings and improve mood. Dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter, is very important for motivation, pleasure, and positive reinforcement. “Dopamine levels can naturally rise when we do fun things, which can make us feel better and give us a more positive outlook on life,” she adds.

    Read More: The Best Way to Treat Insomnia

    How do you become more playful as an adult? It doesn’t always mean doing things like a child. “The key is to find ways to make boring tasks more fun and interesting, which will activate the brain’s reward center,” says Poffenroth. Do this by attending creative workshops, like woodworking or pottery, to induce a flow state, or try outdoor adventure activities like kayaking or hiking. The element of difficulty in these pursuits can inspire success and confidence, Poffenroth says.

    “Remember, what constitutes ‘play’ can vary greatly from person to person,” says Poffenroth. “The most effective approach is to experiment with different activities and pay attention to which ones bring you the most joy and satisfaction.”

    Set new goals

    There’s nothing like back-to-school season for refocusing on a personally meaningful objective.  

    “Setting new, challenging goals is a great way to get over the end-of-summer blues because it shifts your attention and energy to good things that will happen in the future,” says Poffenroth. To Poffenroth says to pick goals that are both hard to reach and practical. “Goals that are too easy might not challenge you enough, while goals that are too hard might make you give up,” she says. The best goals should push you just a bit out of your comfort zone to foster personal growth.

    Say goodbye to “sunshine guilt”

    “Sunshine guilt,” another trending phrase on social media, refers to feelings of regret and self-blame over things you wish you had done during warm weather months. People tend to be more aware of time passing as summer ends, social scientists say. “This kind of awareness is often sparked by changes in the environment, like shorter days, changing leaves, and changes in temperature,” says Poffenroth. “These outside signals turn on the temporal processing systems in our brains, which makes us more aware of how quickly time goes by.” (There’s even a psychological name for this very real effect: temporal discounting.) As summer ends, we may feel rushed to make the most of our remaining time, which can make us feel anxious and guilty if we think we haven’t fully taken advantage of the season, says Poffenroth.

    Read More: Is Bed Rotting Bad for You?

    The problem with “shoulds” (i.e., “I should be traveling in the summer” or “I should take a walk on this beautiful day”) is that they don’t necessarily drive you to do those things and are only related to self-blame, Kahn says. This negative script does nothing for you but create a deeper sense of sadness and helplessness. Instead, ask yourself if you actually want or wanted to do that thing—and if so, create a realistic, specific plan to do it. Being active, self-compassionate, and future-oriented is more helpful than mulling over what you “should” have done, says Kahn.

    Relinquish control

    You can’t be in charge of everything that unfolds in your life. This is where acceptance comes in, says Kahn, because if we try to micromanage every detail of our lives, “we’ll drive ourselves nuts.”

    Instead of fighting reality, acknowledge that a transition is coming, and changes to your life and routine will naturally follow. “Take a back seat, notice whatever emotions and thoughts you’re having, and just treat those experiences with compassion and acceptance,” says Kahn. Mindfulness practices like breathwork, meditation, and yoga can all be helpful in fostering a sense of peace as you encounter whatever life throws at you. If these disciplines aren’t for you, connecting with a friend (whether on the phone, via email, or in-person) or going for a walk can similarly help you reset your perspective.

    “It’s okay to feel anxious. It’s okay to feel sad,” says Kahn. “Even these emotions are a meaningful part of life—and without them, we wouldn’t have happiness or excitement.”

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    Perri Ormont Blumberg

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