By Deanna Neff HealthDay ReporterTHURSDAY, Feb. 12, 2026 (HealthDay News) — Your smartwatch might soon do more than just count your steps or check your heart rate: It could serve as a literal early-warning system for your mental health.
New research from McMaster University suggests that wearable trackers can detect the subtle signs of a depression relapse weeks or even months before an actual episode.
The study — published Feb. 11 in JAMA Psychiatry, — followed 93 Canadian adults for up to two years. All had a diagnosis of major depressive disorder and had previously recovered from a depression episode.
Patients wore a research-grade device similar to a Fitbit or Apple Watch around the clock and had regular in-person visits for depression assessment and data download.
By analyzing more than 32,000 days of their data, scientists found that a person’s daily rhythms tell a story.
Specifically, people with irregular sleep schedules had nearly double the risk of falling back into a depressive episode.
The most telling sign wasn’t just how long someone slept, but how different their day was from their night.
When the data showed less of a difference between daytime movement and nighttime rest, a relapse was often right around the corner.
“Imagine a future where a smartwatch can warn people with depression: ‘A new episode of depression is very likely coming within the next four weeks. How about seeing your health-care provider?’ ” said Dr. Benicio Frey, a professor of psychiatry at McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.
By collecting data passively, digital health wearables allow for continuous monitoring between doctor’s appointments. This “always-on” approach could revolutionize how mental health is managed, moving from reactive treatments to proactive prevention, researchers noted.
“While it has been long recognized that abnormal sleep and activity patterns are associated with greater risk of depression relapse, the ability to passively detect these abnormal patterns using smart sensors opens an exciting new window of opportunity for personalizing the care of conditions that may reoccur, like depression,” the researchers noted.
Major depressive disorder is a recurring challenge for many, with about 60% of patients experiencing a relapse within five years of recovery, researchers said in background notes. Roughly 16% of U.S. adults are faced with it in a given year.
Traditionally, doctors have had to wait for patients to report symptoms — like low mood or loss of interest — which often appear only after the depression relapse is already in full swing.
The foresight from digital health tools may give patients and clinicians a chance to adjust treatments or lifestyle changes before quality of life takes a turn.
If winning gold medals were the only standard, almost all Olympic athletes would be considered failures.Video above: Amber Glenn opens up about mental health, coming out and her figure skating journeyA clinical psychologist with the United States Olympic and Paralympic Committee, Emily Clark’s job when the Winter Games open in Italy on Feb. 6 is to help athletes interpret what it means to be successful. Should gold medals be the only measure?Part of a 15-member staff providing psychological services, Clark nurtures athletes accustomed to triumph but who invariably risk failure.The staff deals with matters termed “mental health and mental performance.” They include topics such as motivation, anger management, anxiety, eating disorders, family issues, trauma, depression, sleep, handling pressure, travel and so forth.Clark’s area includes stress management, the importance of sleep and getting high achievers to perform at their best and avoid the temptation of looking only at results.”A lot of athletes these days are aware of the mental health component of, not just sport, but of life,” Clark said in an interview with The Associated Press. “This is an area where athletes can develop skills that can extend a career, or make it more enjoyable.” The United States is expected to take about 235 athletes to the Winter Olympics, and about 70 more to the Paralympics. But here’s the truth.”Most of the athletes who come through Team USA will not win a gold medal,” Clark said. “That’s the reality of elite sport.”Here are the numbers. The United States won gold medals in nine events in the last Winter Games in Beijing in 2022. According to Dr. Bill Mallon, an esteemed shoulder surgeon and Olympic historian, 70.8% of Winter and Summer Olympic athletes go to only one Olympics.Few are famous and successful like swimmer Michael Phelps, or skiers Mikaela Shiffrin or Lindsey Vonn.Clark said she often delivers the following message to Olympians and Paralympians: This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance. Focus on the process. Savor the moment.”Your job is not to win a gold medal, your job is to do the thing, and the gold medal is what happens when you do your job,” she said.”Some of this might be realigning what success looks like,” she added. “And some of this is developing resilience in the face of setbacks and failure.”Clark preaches staying on task under pressure and improving through defeat.”We get stronger by pushing ourselves to a limit where we’re at our maximum capacity — and then recovering,” she said. “When we get stressed, it impacts our attention. Staying on task or staying in line with what’s important is what we try to train for.” Kendall Gretsch has won four gold medals at the Summer and Winter Paralympics. She credits some of her success to the USOPC’s mental health services, and she described the value this way.”We have a sports psychologist who travels with us for most our season,” she said. “Just being able to touch base with them … and getting that reminder of why are you here? What is that experience you’re looking for?”American figure skater Alysa Liu is the 2025 world champion and was sixth in the 2022 Olympics. She’s a big believer in sports psychology and should be among the favorites in Italy.”I work with a sport psychologist,” she said without giving a name. “She’s incredible — like the MVP.”Of course, MVP stands — not for Most Valuable Person or Most Valuable Player — for “Most Valuable Psychologist.””I mean, she’s very helpful,” Liu added. American downhill skier Vonn will race in Italy in her sixth Olympics. At 41, she’s coming off nearly six years in retirement and will be racing on a knee made of titanium.Two-time Olympic champion Michaela Dorfmeister has suggested in jest that Vonn “should see a psychologist” for attempting such a thing in a very dangerous sport where downhill skiers reach speeds of 80 mph.Vonn shrugged off the comments and joked a few months ago that she didn’t grow up using a sport psychologist. She said her counseling came from taping messages on the tips of her skis that read: “stay forward or hands up.””I just did it myself,” she said. “I do a lot of self-talk in the starting gate.” “Sleep is an area where athletes tend to struggle for a number of reasons,” Clark said, listing issues such as travel schedules, late practices, injuries and life-related stress.”We have a lot of athletes who are parents, and lot of sleep is going to be disrupted in the early stages of parenting,” she said. “We approach sleep as a real part of performance. But it can be something that gets de-prioritized when days get busy.”Clark suggests the following for her athletes — and the rest of us: no caffeine after 3 p.m., mitigate stress before bedtime, schedule sleep at about the same time daily, sleep in a dark room and get 7-9 hours.Dani Aravich is a two-time Paralympian — she’s been in both the Summer and Winter Games — and will be skiing in the upcoming Paralympics. She said in a recent interview that she avails herself of many psychological services provided by the USOPC.”I’ve started tracking my sleep,” she said, naming Clark as a counselor. “Especially being an athlete who has multiple jobs, sleep is going to be your No. 1 savior at all times. It’s the thing that, you know, helps mental clarity.” Clark agreed.”Sleep is the cornerstone of healthy performance,” she added.
If winning gold medals were the only standard, almost all Olympic athletes would be considered failures.
Video above: Amber Glenn opens up about mental health, coming out and her figure skating journey
A clinical psychologist with the United States Olympic and Paralympic Committee, Emily Clark’s job when the Winter Games open in Italy on Feb. 6 is to help athletes interpret what it means to be successful.
Should gold medals be the only measure?
Part of a 15-member staff providing psychological services, Clark nurtures athletes accustomed to triumph but who invariably risk failure.
The staff deals with matters termed “mental health and mental performance.” They include topics such as motivation, anger management, anxiety, eating disorders, family issues, trauma, depression, sleep, handling pressure, travel and so forth.
Clark’s area includes stress management, the importance of sleep and getting high achievers to perform at their best and avoid the temptation of looking only at results.
“A lot of athletes these days are aware of the mental health component of, not just sport, but of life,” Clark said in an interview with The Associated Press. “This is an area where athletes can develop skills that can extend a career, or make it more enjoyable.”
The United States is expected to take about 235 athletes to the Winter Olympics, and about 70 more to the Paralympics. But here’s the truth.
“Most of the athletes who come through Team USA will not win a gold medal,” Clark said. “That’s the reality of elite sport.”
Here are the numbers. The United States won gold medals in nine events in the last Winter Games in Beijing in 2022. According to Dr. Bill Mallon, an esteemed shoulder surgeon and Olympic historian, 70.8% of Winter and Summer Olympic athletes go to only one Olympics.
Few are famous and successful like swimmer Michael Phelps, or skiers Mikaela Shiffrin or Lindsey Vonn.
Clark said she often delivers the following message to Olympians and Paralympians: This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance. Focus on the process. Savor the moment.
“Your job is not to win a gold medal, your job is to do the thing, and the gold medal is what happens when you do your job,” she said.
“Some of this might be realigning what success looks like,” she added. “And some of this is developing resilience in the face of setbacks and failure.”
Clark preaches staying on task under pressure and improving through defeat.
“We get stronger by pushing ourselves to a limit where we’re at our maximum capacity — and then recovering,” she said. “When we get stressed, it impacts our attention. Staying on task or staying in line with what’s important is what we try to train for.”
Kendall Gretsch has won four gold medals at the Summer and Winter Paralympics. She credits some of her success to the USOPC’s mental health services, and she described the value this way.
“We have a sports psychologist who travels with us for most our season,” she said. “Just being able to touch base with them … and getting that reminder of why are you here? What is that experience you’re looking for?”
American figure skater Alysa Liu is the 2025 world champion and was sixth in the 2022 Olympics. She’s a big believer in sports psychology and should be among the favorites in Italy.
“I work with a sport psychologist,” she said without giving a name. “She’s incredible — like the MVP.”
Of course, MVP stands — not for Most Valuable Person or Most Valuable Player — for “Most Valuable Psychologist.”
“I mean, she’s very helpful,” Liu added.
American downhill skier Vonn will race in Italy in her sixth Olympics. At 41, she’s coming off nearly six years in retirement and will be racing on a knee made of titanium.
Two-time Olympic champion Michaela Dorfmeister has suggested in jest that Vonn “should see a psychologist” for attempting such a thing in a very dangerous sport where downhill skiers reach speeds of 80 mph.
Vonn shrugged off the comments and joked a few months ago that she didn’t grow up using a sport psychologist. She said her counseling came from taping messages on the tips of her skis that read: “stay forward or hands up.”
“I just did it myself,” she said. “I do a lot of self-talk in the starting gate.”
“Sleep is an area where athletes tend to struggle for a number of reasons,” Clark said, listing issues such as travel schedules, late practices, injuries and life-related stress.
“We have a lot of athletes who are parents, and lot of sleep is going to be disrupted in the early stages of parenting,” she said. “We approach sleep as a real part of performance. But it can be something that gets de-prioritized when days get busy.”
Clark suggests the following for her athletes — and the rest of us: no caffeine after 3 p.m., mitigate stress before bedtime, schedule sleep at about the same time daily, sleep in a dark room and get 7-9 hours.
Dani Aravich is a two-time Paralympian — she’s been in both the Summer and Winter Games — and will be skiing in the upcoming Paralympics. She said in a recent interview that she avails herself of many psychological services provided by the USOPC.
“I’ve started tracking my sleep,” she said, naming Clark as a counselor. “Especially being an athlete who has multiple jobs, sleep is going to be your No. 1 savior at all times. It’s the thing that, you know, helps mental clarity.”
Clark agreed.
“Sleep is the cornerstone of healthy performance,” she added.
In Finland, some parents have adopted a bedtime routine that seems almost too simple to matter. Each night, they ask their children one question: “What was the last good moment of your day?” No screens, no lectures, no moralizing, just a moment to pause and reflect.
Psychologists who followed families practicing this ritual for 10 years found remarkable results. Children who answered the question daily were up to 80 percent less anxious by the time they reached their teenage years. Ending the day on a calm note helps the brain wrap up its stress cycle, allowing children to sleep more peacefully and recover emotionally from the day’s challenges.
The story recently became popular on social media, but it also makes us think about something bigger: why don’t the media talk more about such easy and helpful ways to take care of our mental health? In a news world focused on major crises and troubling stories, reporters don’t often highlight positive developments happening around the world.
The hidden cost of daily news
Newsrooms have long followed the mantra: “If it bleeds, it leads.” Stories about crime, disasters, or conflict grab attention – and clicks. But reading it can really affect people’s feelings. The research has shown that many adults experience stress or discomfort when following the news, and some even limit their news consumption because they find it stressful (American Psychological Association 2023). Meanwhile, the Reuters Institute notes that “news avoidance” is rising globally, as people deliberately turn away from stories that make them feel overwhelmed.
The paradox is clear: journalism aims to inform and empower the public, yet relentless coverage of negative events can leave readers anxious, helpless, or disengaged. Ignoring these effects undercuts the basic mission of the press.
Learning from Finland: A different approach
The Finnish bedtime ritual offers a useful metaphor for journalism. Just like children think about their day before going to sleep, readers can better understand the news if stories include background information, ideas for fixing problems, and messages of hope.
This is the philosophy behind solutions journalism, promoted by groups like the Solutions Journalism Network. It doesn’t mean sugar-coating problems or avoiding hard truths. Instead, it means telling the full story, highlighting not just the problem but also credible responses and examples of success.
For instance, when reporting on youth anxiety, a journalist could explore programs in schools, community initiatives, or national policies that help children build resilience. Research from the University of Texas at Austin’s Engaging News Project found that readers of solutions-focused articles felt more optimistic about the issue and more confident that there were effective ways to address it, compared with readers who only saw problem-focused news. Engaging audiences this way also strengthens trust in media, an important advantage at a time when many people doubt the news.
Small shifts, big impact
In many ways, journalism can borrow inspiration from the Finnish habit of ending the day with a moment of reflection. It’s a simple cultural practice, not a rule, but it shows how small habits can shape how people process the world around them and be less anxious.
Similarly, there are a few modest adjustments journalists can consider when thinking about how audiences absorb the news:
Language: choosing clear, calm wording instead of dramatic phrasing when covering difficult subjects.
Balance: showing not only the problem, but also what people or communities are trying in response.
Context: helping readers understand why something is happening, not only that it happened.
Follow-up: returning to stories so people see what changed over time.
They are reflections on how reporting might support a clearer and more grounded understanding of events. And just as the Finnish ritual helps families end the day with perspective, these small journalistic choices can help audiences navigate the news with a better coherence.
Real-world examples
Some news outlets are already using solutions journalism. The Guardian’s Upside series, BBC’s People Fixing the World, and CBC’s What On Earth? spotlight serious issues, like climate, health, and inequality, while focusing on real-world innovations and responses. These programs illustrate that news can inform without overwhelming, by highlighting constructive change.
Closing the cycle
In a world where headlines bombard us with crisis after crisis, journalism can offer closure. Just as the Finnish ritual encourages children to reflect on a positive moment before sleep, journalists can help audiences finish the news cycle feeling informed rather than exhausted. The goal isn’t “feel-good news” – it’s resilience and understanding in an age of constant noise.
Journalism has always been about sharing information. Today, it can also help improve our mental well-being, one calming story at a time.
American Psychological Association (2023). Stress in America: The State of Our Nation.
Reuters Institute (2024). Digital News Report: Trends in News Consumption and Avoidance.
University of Texas at Austin (2021). The Effects of Solutions Journalism on Audience Trust and Engagement.
Many would say politics should be barred from holiday celebrations. But a George Mason University professor’s findings could offer insight in how to discuss politics without a holiday brawl.
There are plenty of political topics to be hashed out over Thanksgiving dinners in the D.C. area.
Many would say politics should be barred from holiday celebrations. But a George Mason University professor’s findings could offer insight in how to discuss politics without a holiday brawl.
Todd Kashdan is the lead author of a study that looked to encourage conversations between people on opposite ends of the political spectrum.
There’s a couple strategies to bridge the gap, recommended by Kashdan, a professor of psychology at Mason and the founder of the Well-Being Laboratory.
Should someone make a remark you find outlandish, he said consider replying, “I wasn’t going to say anything but … I totally apologize if this comes off the wrong way, but I’m really anxious even to say anything.”
He calls this approach the “discomfort caveat.”
“When you reveal that you’re uncomfortable speaking up, but you plan to do it anyway, people are intrigued,” he said. “‘What are you going to say? Just spit it out.’ And so people’s defenses come down and their curiosity goes up.”
Kashdan also recommended reframing your questions that follow up on a loved one’s comments.
“Instead of asking, ‘Why did you bring that up?’” he said. “With an air of intrigue and wonder, you can ask, ‘How would that work, if what you’re saying actually came to fruition?’”
Fostering that curiosity could lead to a more productive conversation, according to his research published earlier this month in a journal called “Scientific Reports” and referenced in a Washington Post column.
Instead of wondering, “What’s wrong with this person, why would they bring this up,” he said, people should wonder about what experiences led someone to behave in that way.
“There’s basically more assumptions of positive intent to realize not all of us had a perfect background, and some of us ended up with these strange conspiracy theories or negatively tinged thoughts toward other people,” Kashdan said.
Ultimately, people have more in common than they realize.
“Most people share the same underlying values, but it manifests differently,” he said.
His research has found that people tend to be “more kind and open and flexible” than others expect.
“When you get to the specific issues, you realize this is a good person that I disagree with, as opposed to this is an evil person who has beliefs that are counter to my own,” Kashdan said.
Of course, tone makes a world of difference during a tense discussion.
“You could say the exact same thing with an air of wonder and curiosity, or you can say it being closed minded and rigid,” he added.
When it becomes clear it’s time to tap out of a conversation, he offered advice to exit without harming relationships.
“You can soften the blow of anything by just kind of putting your hand on someone’s shoulder and saying, ‘You know I love you. You know I care about you. It’s just this topic. This one doesn’t work for us,’” Kashdan said.
Though considered taboo topics to some, the professor encouraged people to have conversations about religion and politics.
“One thing that our research often shows is that people want more meaningful, curious conversations than they do small talk,” Kashdan said. “Don’t be afraid of having these conversations, but remember that you care more about the relationships themselves than the content of what you’re talking about.”
Get breaking news and daily headlines delivered to your email inbox by signing up here.
WEDNESDAY, Nov. 26, 2025 (HealthDay News) — For many young adults, social media is where life happens: Friendships, news, stress, all rolled into a single screen.
But a new study suggests that stepping away, even for just one week, may help ease anxiety, depression and sleep problems.
Researchers tracked 295 young adults ages 18 to 24 who agreed to limit their social media use for seven days. Each participant was paid $150 to be in the study.
For the study, these young adults shrunk their average screen time from just under two hours a day on social platforms down to about 30 minutes a day.
After the week ended, participants completed mental health surveys. On average, the researchers found:
Anxiety symptoms dropped by 16.1%
Depression symptoms dropped by 24.8%
Insomnia symptoms dropped by 14.5%
The study, published Nov. 24 in JAMA Network Open, showed the biggest improvement in people who already had more serious depression symptoms.
However, participants did not report changes in loneliness.
Study co-author Dr. John Torous, an associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School in Boston, told The New York Times that cutting back on social media shouldn’t “be your first-line or your only form of care.”
“If you’re struggling with a mental health condition, and you have treatment already,” he added, “it’s likely worth experimenting to see whether reducing social media helps you feel better.”
He warned that the results aren’t a guarantee for everyone. Some participants felt much better, while others noticed little change.
“The averages are encouraging,” he said, “but they definitely don’t tell the full story, the variance was just so tremendous.”
One reason is that the study was not a randomized trial. Instead, people volunteered to take part, which means they may have expected improvements before the trial.
“The subjects would have known how they were expected to behave, and likely simply changed their responses accordingly,” Christopher Ferguson, a psychology professor at Stetson University in DeLand, Florida who was not involved in the research, told The Times.
Other experts, however, say the findings still add something useful to the ongoing conversation about social media and mental health.
Mitch Prinstein, chief science officer of the American Psychological Association, called social media breaks “a simple and free solution that seems to lead to quick improvement.”
“This is a solution that will empower most parents and young people themselves,” he said in a report published by The Times. “Use far less social media, and there is a reasonable chance that young people will start to feel a lot better.”
But experts in the field stress that results have been mixed in previous studies. Some research has found only small or no benefits from “digital detoxes,” and it’s uncertain whether the effects last long term.
PEABODY — Many of 14-year-old Jason Bernard’s happiest memories were at the Captain Samuel Brown Elementary School down the street from his house. Now, a bench in his memory will forever sit outside of the school.
Jason’s family, friends, city officials and other community members dedicated the bench on Saturday morning—two days before he would have turned 15.
This page requires Javascript.
Javascript is required for you to be able to read premium content. Please enable it in your browser settings.
There’s a figure who may greet you during an intense Benadryl trip.
Faceless, shrouded in black with red eyes and a top hat, it ominously lurks in the corner. The Benadryl Hat Man is a shared and recurring hallucination that people report witnessing when taking dozens of the antihistamine at a time. The figure, depicted in Halloween costumes, POV-Benadryl trip memes, and Walmart graphic tees, has become the symbol for a new drug trend that sees young people deliberately taking large doses of the drug, not to ward off allergies, but to get high.
John, a 21-year-old college student who used to trip on Benadryl, never saw the Hat Man. Yet, he says, “I could see how that could happen. It’s [Benadryl] digging in the depths of your brain to find whatever’s making you scared. So, if you’re scared of the Hat Man, I’m sure you’re going to see the Hat Man.” This searching for the unpleasant to reveal itself, while sounding horrible, is, in fact, the purpose of recreational Benadryl use. (John does not want his real name used due to fear of friends finding out.)
When used in high doses, diphenhydramine, an ingredient in Benadryl, functions as a deliriant, a hallucinogenic class of drugs, which appear to be becoming increasingly popular among young people for nonmedical purposes. Unlike psychedelics or other hallucinogens, there’s no real potential for a good trip on a deliriant. According to the people I spoke to, every trip is bad, every trip is brutal, and that’s the point.
In 2020, the “Benadryl challenge” gained traction on TikTok, daring participants to take doses of at least 12 Benadryl pills for an intense trip. The trend, which resurfaces every few years, drew attention to the psychoactive effects of deliriants. “I saw a video about it on TikTok once, so I knew it could be used recreationally,” one user tells me.
With little to no harm reduction information readily available about high levels of consumption, problems began to rise. In May 2020, three Texas teens were treated for Benadryl overdoses in just a week, one of whom was just 14 years old and took 14 pills. The 14-year-old recovered and returned home the next day. In August 2020, a 15-year-old died from a seizure after overdosing on the drug in Oklahoma. In September 2020, the FDA issued a warning for parents to hide and lock up their Benadryl supply, warning of the potential risk of heart problems, seizures, and, less commonly, comas and even death. Despite the warning, the trend seems to have persisted. In 2020, there were 4,618 cases reported to US Poison Centers for Benadryl usage; that number climbed to 5,960 in 2023, according to a study published in Pediatrics Open Science in August. Benadryl and deliriants in general have embedded themselves as staples on the fringes of the American youth—a cheap and easy way to get fucked up. WIRED reached out to Benadryl manufacturer Kenvue for comment. A spokesperson for the company stated, “This behavior is extremely concerning and dangerous,” and encouraged consumers to “carefully read and follow the instructions on the label and contact their health care professional should they have questions.”
John started taking Benadryl recreationally in November 2024, when he was 20, after using it to sleep and then hearing about the potential to trip online. He was depressed at the time and would take 12 pills for a big trip, multiple times a day, with each trip lasting four to six hours. Instead of the Hat Man, John saw eyelash mites, small bugs that form in clusters at the base of your eyelashes, alongside “shadows that would dart across your peripheral.” The trips were also tactile; John would see and feel spiders all over his body, describing feeling a “foreboding tingling.”
You’re undoubtedly familiar with the term FOMO—fear of missing out—but you may not have heard of FOFO: fear of finding out. It’s a common reason many people don’t get recommended health screening tests such as mammograms, Pap smears, STD tests, blood tests, and full-body skin cancer checks.
FOFO isn’t a clinical diagnosis; it’s a colloquial term and something many people and doctors are well acquainted with. In recent years, it’s been gaining more attention in the medical community and the media. “There is very little research on this specific topic, but clinicians who work in the area of health anxiety are very familiar with it,” says Steven Taylor, a professor and clinical psychologist at the University of British Columbia and coauthor of the book It’s Not All in Your Head: How Worrying about Your Health Could Be Making You Sick—and What You Can Do About It.
One 2025 survey of 2,000 employed U.S. adults found that three out of five of them avoid health screenings, and fear of bad news or embarrassment are common reasons. There are signs the problem may be worsening. Another 2025 survey of 7,000 adults in the U.S. found that only 51% had a routine medical appointment or cancer screening in the last year—a 10% drop from 2024.
Here’s what to know about FOFO and how to deal with it.
Where does FOFO come from?
“For many people, it comes from a place of anxiety, and it’s an effort to exert some control over a situation that feels uncertain,” says Lynn Bufka, a psychologist and head of practice at the American Psychological Association. “A lot of anxiety drives us to avoidance—we want to avoid the thing that scares us.”
FOFO is especially common among people who have generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), or illness anxiety disorder (previously called hypochondriasis), Taylor says. But even people without these conditions can have FOFO. In some cases, “it can be an isolated thing such as being afraid of getting a prostate test, or it can be part of a broader coping style,” Taylor explains. “Sometimes people who avoid screening tests compulsively consult Dr. ChatBot or Dr. Google.”
For some people, FOFO may stem from previous bad experiences they’ve had in health-care settings or from iatrophobia, a common fear of doctors or medical care. For others, it might be related to a test result that could lead to a sense of shame for having a particular medical condition (such as an STD) or to anxiety about needing treatments they don’t want. “It could be about a fear of finding out some bad news or feeling pressured to make lifestyle choices that are hard,” Bufka says. In these instances, the underlying idea is: “If I don’t have the test, this thing doesn’t exist.”
Having to wait for results can also fuel FOFO. “If you have to wait for results for a couple of weeks, it doesn’t get more anxiety-producing than that,” says Jonathan Abramowitz, a professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
How to overcome FOFO
The first step is to consider the pros and cons of getting a particular screening test vs. avoiding the test. For example, the pros might include finding out whether you have a medical condition and getting it treated, while the cons may include reducing your anxiety about getting a positive result. “In the long run, the pros of getting the test outweigh the cons,” says Abramowitz. However, “as human beings, we tend to do what makes us feel better in the short term”—which might explain why so many people put off screenings.
If you fall into that camp, it’s worth asking yourself what’s motivating you to avoid the test. “If you’re worried that if the results are positive and what that would mean, you may be underestimating your ability to manage it,” Abramowitz says.
Also, consider whether you want your fear or anxiety to make your decisions for you, Bufka suggests. She recommends asking yourself: What would happen if I continue to avoid this? Is it worth the risk to continue to put this off? How will I feel about this issue or decision a year down the road? “Facing the fear helps us make choices that are more in line with our values,” she says.
If you’re really feeling stuck in a state of FOFO, talk to your doctor about it, Taylor advises. “Share your concerns and apprehensions, and develop a collaborative plan for moving forward with the test and planning for what you’ll do during the waiting period.” (If FOFO is related to a broader pattern of anxiety, cognitive behavioral therapy can be helpful, too, Abramowitz says.)
Another good strategy: If you need to have several medical tests done, try to schedule a few of them at the same time to get them done efficiently, Abramowitz suggests. It can also help to have a supportive person go with you to a particular test or to reward yourself with a treat—such as a favorite lunch—after you do it.
Ultimately, it’s important to remind yourself that having the recommended medical tests, cancer screenings, and routine examinations is all part of taking good care of yourself.
“It’s to your benefit to get the test—you’re either going to be relieved that nothing is wrong, or you’re going to know what you’re dealing with,” says Abramowitz. “The anticipation is often worse than the actual outcome.”
You prepared thoroughly for a presentation at work, and now you’re dropping wisdom to a packed room. Much as you expected, your colleagues appear wowed and fascinated—except for a guy in the front row. He looks confused. Mid-sentence, you try flashing him your megawatt smile, but he just seems more perplexed, maybe even a bit angry. Your voice falters.
Yes, guy-in-front-row may detest you. More likely, though, you’ve just encountered what some psychologists and body-language experts call RBF, or “resting bothered face.” (An edgier term is used in internet meme-parlance.) It’s a facial expression the owner thinks is neutral, while others view it as irritated or disapproving.
But learning how to get a better read on other people’s facial expressions can help improve your communication and relationships.
Why people misjudge facial expressions
Misreading facial expressions may stem from unrealistic expectations we have for others, as well as differences in how individuals and cultures outwardly express themselves and interpret facial cues.
Humans are inherently quite good at noticing changes in other people’s expressions. “We can identify every single minute movement,” says Aleix Martinez, an entrepreneur and former Ohio State University professor of cognitive science who used to work as a senior principal scientist at Amazon.
However, we’re less skilled at grasping the meaning behind these changes. “We fail, many times, at identifying the affect or emotion being communicated,” Martinez says.
If only humans kept their expressions to cartoonishly clear frowns and smiles. In reality, dozens of expressions blend emotions in unique ways. And these subtleties, called micro- or meso-expressions, vary from one culture to the next, as well as among individuals within each culture.
With all of this nuance, it’s risky to assume you know someone’s feelings based on fleeting looks. “Most of the time, we’re just making the best possible guess,” says Marc Brackett, founding director of Yale’s Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of two books on the topic, Permission to Feel and Dealing with Feeling.
These disconnects may be widening in the Internet era—especially as the identities we portray on social media diverge from our true personalities, says Vanessa Van Edwards, a science communicator who wrote the book Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People. If people see digital-you laughing while cartwheeling down the beach with a crowd of besties, they assume you’re extroverted, even if you’re an introvert who’ll never do public cartwheels again.
Meeting in person, they could perceive your neutral face as resting bothered face, compared to your Internet personality. “This makes it even harder to interact in person,” Van Edwards says. “You have so many more misinterpretations.”
In teaching a class at Harvard University on social interaction in 2025, Van Edwards surveyed her students about why they feel misunderstood. They shared various reasons—but no one disputed the question’s underlying assumption. Everyone felt misunderstood.
And when we lack strong social connection, it can harm well-being, heart health, and longevity.
Add the missing context
Part of the problem is how rarely people get to know one another beyond superficialities—even when they interact frequently. As a result, we’re missing critical background that would explain those seemingly out-of-nowhere eyebrow arches and nose crinkles. “If you don’t have quality relationships, you don’t know that person’s baseline of expressions,” Brackett says.
Work is a prime example. “At your job, your employer may misinterpret your expression because they have no idea who you are,” Martinez says. “It doesn’t matter how many years you’ve worked there. They don’t have the details of your life.”
Van Edwards was recently excited to interview a job candidate only to encounter the person’s resting bothered face throughout the conversation. A follow-up interview went better, and Van Edwards learned the candidate had been grimacing through the pain of wearing borrowed shoes that were too tight.
More enduring pieces of context are life history and personality. Researchers have found that adults who faced abuse during childhood are quicker to detect negative emotions than those without such trauma. In addition, people who are prone to anger or are more likely to interpret neutral facial expressions as negative, and those with more stress and negative emotions have higher sensitivity to negative faces.
Getting to know such backgrounds can help make face-reading more accurate. After his partner of 30 years talks with his mother on the phone, Brackett knows the topic of their conversation just by glancing at his face. “The closer your relationship, the better you read true emotions,” he says.
But people are hard-pressed to find any time, let alone 30 years, to scratch these interpersonal surfaces, Brackett explains. It can seem awkward to ask how an acquaintance is feeling; it’s emotionally safer to ignore their resting bothered face, Brackett says.
This shows up in our expressions, non-verbal behavior, and words. “People want to interact with others who are nonjudgmental, good listeners, and compassionate, including warm facial expressions,” Brackett notes. Yet he’s found these types of supportive relationships are often lacking; for instance, only about half of us have them with work colleagues.
How to better express yourself
At this point, you may be reflecting on what, exactly, your facial expressions are communicating to the world. Experts recommend several steps for self-discovery and improvement.
One rather uncomfortable option is to “self-audit,” as Van Edwards puts it, by watching a video of yourself. Record a real video call with others, and then monitor your expressions. What messages are sent by your face?
Another self-audit strategy is to ask others for feedback. “This is very hard for some because it feels like an attack on their character,” Brackett says. “Others adopt ‘learner mode’ because they really want to show up for others in the way that’s most helpful.”
If you find out you have resting bothered face, Van Edwards thinks you don’t necessarily need to try to banish it, especially if the expression helps you concentrate and process information. Just be aware so you can verbally clarify it, she suggests. When grimacing in deep thought, you could tell your conversational partner, “let me just process this for a second.” They’ll know to disregard what otherwise might be perceived as anger.
To further soften a resting bothered face, use positive body language such as good eye contact—which research shows can lead to a positive reaction—and nodding. Tilting your head toward another person indicates attentiveness and eagerness.
Van Edwards has worked with leaders who wear cold and intimidating expressions, yet they wonder why their employees avoid them. “You can balance these cues with warmth,” she says.
Above all else, use these adjustments to better express how you really feel. “Fakery backfires,” Van Edwards says. “You have to be genuine.”
Decoding other people’s facial expressions
The problem of misreading facial expressions is a two-way street; it’s both an expresser and an observer issue. Certain skills can be developed to more accurately grasp what facial cues actually mean.
We can become more knowledgeable about subtle expressions. For example, look for the lower-lid flex to distinguish whether a person (such as front-row guy) is irritated or just concentrating on what you’re saying, Van Edwards says. When people are concentrating, they harden their lower eyelid; the area under the eye appears to firm up. If someone is genuinely irritated, you’re unlikely to see this.
In general, you want to focus on the other person’s eyes. In addition to building mutual feelings of connection, eye gazing can improve your “decoding ability,” Van Edwards says. We tend to monitor the lips to detect certain emotions like joy, but the mouth may be misleading. (People often misinterpret a look of contempt as a half-smile, for example.) Research shows eye contact is key to satisfying social interactions and activates social parts of the brain.
It might sound obvious, but the best way to practice reading other people is to get more in-person experience with other human beings. Martinez says he learned to read others’ faces at Amazon while spending most of his days interacting with employees. “These are skills you have to develop,” he says.
And give people the benefit of the doubt. If you think you see resting bothered face, keep watching to get more face data, Martinez says. Small samples of expressions won’t reveal much about others’ feelings. “It’s a dynamic system,” Martinez explains, with constant corrections for initial misinterpretations. “We understand expressions better with more information.”
Eventually, you may notice the sour face isn’t unique to you or what you’re saying. But if you’re still perceiving displeasure and irritation, you can always ask the other person if everything is okay. “So what’s up with the stink eye?” isn’t your best option. Do it in the spirit and tone of compassion rather than confrontation.
Or simply let it go, Martinez says. “Ninety percent of the time, there’s a reason behind the negative expression that’s completely unrelated to whatever you think it means.”
HAVERHILL — A petition with nearly 1,200 signatures from concerned residents and property owners is calling to stop a proposed 24-bed men’s substance use and mental health facility from moving into the neighborhood.
The petition, posted on Change.org and titled “Stop Riverbend House from coming into our neighborhood,” urges Haverhill residents to oppose Riverbend’s plan to open the “Bradford House” at 11 Kingsbury Ave.
This page requires Javascript.
Javascript is required for you to be able to read premium content. Please enable it in your browser settings.
CEOs of small, growing companies tend to call a bookkeeper to maintain financials or ask consultants about the right go-to-market strategy. But when it comes to hiring people, many use their gut instinct or the “would I have a beer with this guy?” test to make employment decisions.
Many leaders rely on unstructured interviews or ask colleagues to rate candidates on nebulous characteristics like “fit” and “technical chops.” These unstructured approaches often give leaders misplaced confidence in their so-called hiring assessments, especially when numbers are assigned to candidates. And absent clear, written calibration on what those ratings mean, calculating the average 1-5 rating out to two decimal places doesn’t make the measurement any better—it just provides the illusion of measurement.
A better approach would be to use industrial and organizational (I/O) psychology. Yes, a yawner of a name, but it’s a field steeped in research and statistics about understanding and predicting behavior at work. It can help business leaders select the best person for each role and effectively motivate employees. It can also help align your leadership team to company priorities, guiding them toward corporate growth.
Although IO psychology originated in the early 20th century, not many leaders have heard of it. While other fields have created glitzy marketing campaigns for their less-than-stellar tools, I/O psychology has focused on excellence of measurement more so than telling the world about its excellent measurement. In short, it is a well-kept secret that needs to be more known.
An Inc.com Featured Presentation
Like many sciences, I/O psychology works best when applied by trained practitioners, but a few key principles can help any business leader make better decisions when interviewing and hiring job candidates.
Before the interview
Here are three steps to take before you even begin to interview candidates.
List competencies
Think about the role you are interviewing for and consider what competencies a job candidate needs to be successful in that role. For instance, if you are hiring someone to grow the company in an adjacent market, it’s a good bet that traits such as entrepreneurship, an interest in learning, the ability to influence others, and commercial acumen will be important.
Prepare interview questions
Next formulate behavioral questions that determine whether a candidate possesses each competency. Prepare these questions in advance and ask every candidate to answer them. This approach will give you better, consistent information about each potential new hire, allowing you to fairly and objectively compare each candidate.
Make sure the questions target a competency directly. Avoid brainteaser questions like, “If I shrunk you and put you in a glass how would you get out?” An essential I/O psychology tenet is the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, so instead ask about past behavior with this series of questions:
Tell me about a time you had to learn a new area to sell a product you were previously unfamiliar with.
What was the situation?
What did you do?
What was your role specifically?
How did it end?
What might you do differently next time?
Develop a rating scale
Prepare a Behaviorally Anchored Rating Scale (BARS) that measures the candidate’s performance by rating specific, observable behaviors tied to a numerical scale of 1 to 5. For each question, determine ahead of time what answers would lead to rating of very ineffective (1), effective (3), and exceptional (5).
For example, a candidate who struggles to articulate a learning strategy or who could not articulate value to clients would garner a 1 rating while a candidate who sought relevant sources and experts, and developed a working understanding to sufficiently describe the product in a timely manner would gain a 3 rating. A 5 rating would be reserved for a candidate who is deeply immersed in a topic, using multiple sources and integrating knowledge quickly, and has demonstrated the ability to become an expert in short order.
During the interview
Take copious notes during the interview and leave the evaluation for later. The easiest way to stay focused on the interview details and avoid evaluation is to write what is said instead of writing comments such as “good response” or “did the right thing.” This is very important because if you rush to evaluation, you aren’t giving the candidate an opportunity to independently demonstrate each competency. If you evaluate midway, it may color your judgment of the next question’s responses.
After the interview
After interviewing each candidate, go through your notes and assign ratings on each competency to each potential hire based on their answers, considering the BARS you created. It’s important to rate each candidate immediately; you’re not comparing them against each other, but rather, against the standards you’ve set.
Think about each competency independently and collectively. For instance, someone might rate a 3 on influence but their decision making is a 5. Taken together, those ratings might make them the lead candidate, if the role requires exceptional decision making and influence skills are less important.
Be realistic about role requirements; it’s highly unlikely that expert skill is needed for each competency. Being solidly competent means the person will be successful. In other words, 3s on some competencies is fine. Holding out for someone who scores all 5s will delay your hiring as you search for the impossible candidate.
Final thoughts
If this process seems too daunting, just as many leaders hire or contract an accountant or marketing consultant, consider contracting an I/O psychologist to help with employee assessment and selection. They can create job related competency-based interviews for you or even conduct the candidate assessment using interviews and even more robust assessment tools. A small investment in this expert skill set for key hires can pay large dividends.
Content Warnings: sexual assault, stalking, blackmail, coercive control, infidelity, trauma
Summary:Jenna, who runs a successful private therapy practice, still struggles with trust issues of her own. She’s made a promise to stop snooping in her husband Colten’s phone, but sometimes she can’t help herself. One night, she discovers a troubling exchange between him and his cousin Bodie, who’s one of his closest friends. A dancer from a bachelor party they both recently attended is threatening Bodie, claiming they crossed a line sexually and that she’ll expose the truth to his family if she doesn’t get what she wants. They don’t know much about this woman, or how far she’s willing to go. But Jenna might.
Lexus Chardonnay, the stage name of the dancer from the party, is one you don’t forget. And Jenna’s heard it before—from one of her clients.
Kaitlyn is a medical school student who dances on weekends to put herself through school. Jenna’s been her therapist for years, except she hasn’t seen her for three months. Not since Kaitlyn stopped showing up for treatment, without explanation. As Jenna begins to listen back to their past sessions, desperate for answers, a more complicated picture emerges, and she must decide who to trust as her career and her family hang in the balance.
Courtesy of Simon & Schuster
Everyone says they want honesty in a relationship, but how many of us have sneaked a peek at a partner’s phone when nobody’s looking? Jenna knows she shouldn’t, yet one quiet night, she breaks her promise and scrolls through her husband’s texts. What she finds isn’t your run-of-the-mill flirty message or a secret Instagram account. It’s something much more alarming: a digital Pandora’s box that threatens not just her marriage, but the very career built on trust and confidentiality.
Lucinda Berry’s new thriller, This Is A Safe Space, puts a modern twist on the old idea that some secrets refuse to stay buried. In an era when our whole lives (and our darkest lies) can hide behind a lock screen, this story taps into a very real, very today kind of fear. What if the person who creates a “safe space” for others has nowhere safe for herself? It’s a question Jenna is forced to confront as her professional world collides with a deeply personal nightmare.
1. Our Phones, Our Secrets
What would someone find if they opened your phone right now? It’s a disarming question, and in This Is A Safe Space, the answer nearly shatters one family. Jenna’s late-night phone snooping isn’t just a plot device; it’s a painfully relatable lapse in judgment. In an age of fingerprint locks and Face IDs, the smartphone has become a diary, confession booth, and safe deposit box of our secrets all in one. Jenna promised herself she’d trust her husband Colten, but the temptation of that glowing screen proves too strong. And when her worst suspicions appear confirmed by a string of cryptic texts, it kicks off a chain reaction of suspicion and fear.
This thriller gets how a tiny breach of digital privacy can snowball. One moment of “just checking” leads Jenna into a web of lies connecting her home to her therapy practice. It’s a modern scenario that feels disturbingly familiar, tapping into the way real trust issues often begin with a single notification at 2 AM. By anchoring the mystery in something as ordinary as a text message, the story makes its psychological punches hit close to home!
2. One Name, Two Lives
Meet Lexus Chardonnay. It’s a stage name you won’t easily forget. For Jenna, it’s the name that makes her blood run cold. Those threatening messages on her husband’s phone revolve around a mysterious dancer with this flashy alias. But Jenna has heard it before, in a far different context. Lexus is actually Kaitlyn, a bright medical student who has sat across from Jenna in therapy for years. By day, Kaitlyn is studying to heal others; by night, under neon lights, she becomes Lexus, dancing to pay the bills.
This dual life isn’t just a plot twist; it’s a commentary on the curated identities people juggle. On social media, we often present highlight reels of our lives, and some of us even keep whole parts of ourselves hidden under alter egos. The novel deftly shows how those separate worlds can collide in an instant. Jenna suddenly realizes the woman sending shockwaves through her family is the same person she’s tried to help through panic attacks and personal struggles. It’s a collision of worlds that raises the stakes and begs the question: how well do we really know anyone, even those we’re supposed to trust most?
3. Victim Or Villain?
Thrillers thrive on uncertainty over who wears the white hat and who’s hiding a dagger behind their back. This Is A Safe Space takes that uncertainty up a notch. The dancer threatening Jenna’s family might be an extortionist preying on men’s worst fears, or she could be a young woman lashing out after surviving something unspeakable. The story constantly tugs the rug out from under assumptions. One chapter, you’re convinced Bodie (Colten’s hapless cousin caught in the scandal) is being unfairly trapped; the next, you wonder if he’s not as innocent as he seems.
It’s a fascinating tightrope walk between sympathy and suspicion. The novel asks if it’s possible to be both a victim and a perpetrator at once. In real life, people who are hurt sometimes hurt others in return, intentionally or not. Berry isn’t afraid to live in that gray area. She lets readers sit with the discomfort that comes when you simply can’t slot someone into “good” or “bad.” It makes the suspense that much more intense.
4. When Control Turns Coercive
Behind the thriller’s twists lies a sobering commentary on power and credibility. The situation Jenna uncovers isn’t just about a scandal. It’s about who gets believed and who gets blamed. Kaitlyn’s alter ego, Lexus, resorts to late-night threats and demands, behaviors that look like stalking on the surface. But the novel nudges readers to consider why she feels this is her only recourse. Women who speak up about being harmed are too often dismissed as “crazy” or attention-seeking, especially if their story threatens a tight-knit family’s reputation. It’s a frustrating reality that This Is A Safe Space digs into: if Kaitlyn truly was wronged, would anyone believe her without proof or pressure?
The flip side is equally unsettling. If she’s lying, then she’s weaponizing the doubt that real victims face, making it harder for others to trust women’s stories. The narrative walks this fine line without preaching. Instead, it heightens the suspense: every character is unsure who to trust, and that creeping feeling of being watched or manipulated keeps both Jenna and the reader on edge. Coercive control isn’t always overt violence: sometimes it’s a barrage of texts, a veiled threat, or the silent treatment that warps reality. Berry shows how these subtler forms of manipulation can be just as chilling, especially in a world where deleting a message doesn’t erase what happened.
5. Blurred Boundaries, Big Dilemmas
Therapists are supposed to keep a professional distance, but what happens when the “someone” needing help is on the other side of the couch and also at your dinner table? Jenna’s predicament is every psychologist’s nightmare scenario. Ethically, a therapist shouldn’t entangle their personal life with a patient’s, yet here she is, smack in the middle of her client’s secret crisis. When Kaitlyn vanished from therapy without a word three months ago, Jenna never imagined their next encounter would be like this. Now Jenna is combing through old session notes and audio recordings, searching for clues in conversations that were meant to heal, not solve a mystery.
The book grapples with the ethics of these dual relationships in a very human way. Jenna isn’t portrayed as a saint or a sinner for the choices she makes, just a person trying to protect her family and her patient at the same time. It raises tough questions: Can you ever really separate personal feelings from professional duty? Jenna knows the rulebook, but This Is A Safe Space shows how real life often laughs in the face of those rules. The tension of watching her walk that tightrope between what’s right as a therapist and what’s necessary as a wife and mother adds another layer of depth to an already twisty thriller.
6. When Betrayal Hits Home
Beyond the mystery and mind games, Berry delves into the emotional wreckage that betrayal leaves behind. Jenna might be a therapist, but discovering her husband’s possible deceit puts her on the other side of the couch, reeling, doubting, and hurt like anyone else. The novel illustrates betrayal trauma in a way that young readers and older ones alike can feel in their gut. When someone you love breaks your trust, it doesn’t just sting; it alters how you see the world. Jenna’s outlook shifts as she grapples with the notion that the man she built a life with may have dangerous secrets. Her empathy is tested too; can she still sympathize with her client’s pain when she’s drowning in her own?
Lucinda Berry’s background as a psychologist shines through in these moments. The story doesn’t lecture about trauma; it shows it unfolding in real time, from Kaitlyn’s anxiety spirals to Jenna’s simmering panic behind her professional poise. The characters’ reactions feel authentic, messy, and human. This Is A Safe Space isn’t just another page turner; it’s a thriller that truly understands the psychology of broken trust!
The scariest part of This Is A Safe Space isn’t what people confess; it’s what they keep to themselves.
Few psychological rules have as high a public profile as the Dunning-Kruger effect. Way back in 1999, David Dunning and Justin Kruger showed that the people who were least competent at a given task were also the most confident in their abilities. Meanwhile, the most skilled are the most unsure.
In the 26 years since Dunning and Kruger published their landmark paper, scientists have debated the details of the findings. But the public has run with it. It’s not hard to see why. A theory that states the dumbest among are often the loudest and most overconfident seems to explain so much about modern life.
Plus, it’s a handy grenade to throw in a social-media fight. Search “Dunning-Kruger Effect” online and you’ll find huge numbers of people labeling those they disagree as obvious cases of the effect in action.
It’s a satisfying way to dunk on your opponents. But there’s one big problem with using the Dunning-Kruger as a weapon in this way. David Dunning himself insists it’s a misunderstanding.
An Inc.com Featured Presentation
You probably misuse the Dunning-Kruger Effect
On a recent episode of the ZME Science podcast, host Corey Powell sums up the popular understanding of the Dunning-Kruger effect this way: “Stupid people don’t know they’re stupid.” Is that a correct understanding of the theory that bears his name, he asked David Dunning.
As pleasant as it might be to write off those you disagree with as hopelessly dim and deluded, the Dunning-Kruger effect isn’t actually about anyone’s general intelligence, Dunning explained. It’s about what happens when you gain just a little knowledge in a particular domain.
When you first start learning a bit about a particular subject, you’re highly likely to overestimate your understanding. That applies to all of us, not just those with less than sky-high IQ scores.
“It’s not about general stupidity. It’s about each and every one of us, sooner or later,” he says. “We each have an array of expertise, and we each have an array of places we shouldn’t be stepping into, thinking we know just as much as the experts.”
A warning, not an insult
Dunking on others’ oblivious idiocy, as tempting as it can be, isn’t actually the takeaway message of the Dunning-Kruger effect according to Dunning. Instead, it’s to be mindful of your own overconfidence, especially in areas where you don’t have deep domain expertise.
The point isn’t to help you spot others’ stupidity. It’s to alert you to the constant potential for your own. Or as Dunning puts it: “Our ignorance is an everyday companion that we will all carry for the rest of our lives.”
That might seem bleak, but Dunning actually sounds pretty upbeat in the interview. How can that be? Because, he says, while there’s no way to outrun the human tendency towards overconfidence, there are steps you can take to guard against it.
7 ways to avoid falling prey to the Dunning-Kruger effect
The podcast discussion doesn’t delve deeply into how to do that. But elsewhere, Dunning and other psychologists have offered plenty of suggestions:
Lean on feedback. “A lot of the issues or problems we get into, we get into because we’re doing it all by ourselves,” Dunning told Vox. “If we consult, chat, schmooze with other people, often we learn things or get different perspectives that can be quite helpful.” Stress test your ideas and knowledge by talking to other people.
Imagine the worst-case scenario. “Ask yourself where you could be wrong if the decision is an important one. Or how can your plans end up in disaster? Think that through—it matters,” Dunning suggests.
Think in probabilities. Citing the work of fellow psychologist Philip Tetlock, Dunning observes that people who think “in terms of probabilities tend to do much better in forecasting and anticipating what is going to happen in the world than people who think in certainties.” So don’t ask, “Will X happen?” but instead, “What’s the probability X will happen?”
Apply the 10-Percent Principle. Psychologist Adam Grant agrees that being smart and educated doesn’t protect you from overconfidence. In fact, it can make it more likely. His solution is the 10-Percent Principle: “Be 10 percent more skeptical of people you agree with—and 10 percent more charitable to people you disagree with.”
Know when to trust your gut. Dunning believes slower decisions are usually better decisions. But according to the late Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman, you can trust your gut in situations that meet three conditions: the area you are looking at is actually predictable (so yes to chess, no to the stock market), you have a lot of practice, and you have received firm, fast feedback in the past.
Approach problems like a scientist. Scientists are trained to look for evidence to disprove their hypotheses, which acts as a brake on the Dunning-Kruger effect. But you don’t have to be a scientist to think like one. Grant also suggests more of us should “look for reasons why you might be wrong, not just reasons why you must be right” and approach questions with curiosity rather than a desire to prove ourselves right.
Practice saying “I don’t know.” Research (and titans of industry) say intellectual humility boosts both IQ and EQ. It also helps you avoid overconfidence, so Dunning suggests practicing saying “I don’t know.” MIT’s Hal Gregersen advises asking yourself, “What will I be wrong about today?” each morning. It will act as a healthy reminder that you are just as likely to fall prey to the Dunning-Kruger effect as anyone.
News flash: You’re overconfident too
The Dunning-Kruger effect has been a frequently invoked term for nearly three decades. That doesn’t mean most people understand it correctly. It often gets used as a clever way to call those you disagree with dumb. But according to one of the authors of the original study, a better use of the effect is as a reminder that we’re all prone to stupidity.
If you remember that tendency, you’re far more likely to correct for it.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
Here’s a common pattern in my house. See if it seems familiar to you. After my husband showers, he often forgets to put his dirty clothes in the hamper. This drives me batty, so I remind him to please pick them up. Again and again and again.
We’ve been married for 15 years now and the result of all my nagging appears to be exactly zilch. Half the time I go in the bathroom there is a ball of socks and underwear on the floor.
My husband is an otherwise thoughtful and considerate guy. So what’s going on? According to psychology research, the problem likely isn’t him. It’s my belief that nagging is an effective strategy to get another person to change their behavior.
The psychology of why nagging doesn’t work
“We have a perception that we won’t get what we want from the other person, so we feel we need to keep asking in order to get it,” psychologist Scott Wetzler explained to The Wall Street Journal. But rather than prompting change, nagging causes people to feel demeaned and withhold the desired behavior. The nagger then nags more and resentment builds.
So what works better to get someone to actually change their behavior? A new study has a suggestion. But, be warned, if you’re stuck in a pattern of habitual nagging, it will probably feel counterintuitive.
The jujitsu mind trick that actually changes behavior
After years of low-level laundry conflict, I admit the last thing I feel inclined to do is thank my husband the one time in a dozen that his clothes end up in the hamper. But according to a new study out of the University of Toronto recently published in Personality and Social PsychologyBulletin, when it comes to changing his behavior, gratitude would beat nagging.
The research was conducted by psychologist Natalie Sisson and colleagues and consisted of three separate studies looking at the connection between expressions of gratitude and behavior change in couples.
One study asked 151 couples to keep a daily diary of their interactions around some change sought by one member of the pair. These diaries showed that the more a member of the couple felt their partner was grateful for their efforts to change, the more likely they were to make further adjustments. After nine months, partners who felt their better halves were most grateful had made the biggest changes.
Taken together, all the findings “suggest that, if you ask your partner to change something about themselves or their behavior, and they say they are willing to try, being grateful will help them to develop their own motivation to make that change, making it more likely to happen,” writes the British Psychological Society’s Research Digest, summing up the results.
Easy to explain, harder to implement
In some sense, that’s intuitive. When you praise someone for their efforts, even if they’re minimal, they feel positive about you and themselves. When you nag them the opposite happens. Which scenario do you think is more likely to result in someone putting in more effort?
But my personal experience at least suggests that, in the heat of the moment, this jujitsu mind trick — praising faint signs of improvement even when you feel like complaining — can be hard to muster. The last thing I want to do when I finally spot one of my husband’s socks in the hamper is to offer him kudos. It’s hard not to think about the hundreds I’ve had to deposit there before.
If you care about effectiveness more than venting, though, psychology suggests this is the way to go. Positive reinforcement works best to train a puppy. It also apparently works best to train people. Bigging others up with gratitude is more likely to motivate them to change their behavior than tearing them down with nagging.
Other tricks to help someone change their behavior
What else can you do to help other people change their behavior? This isn’t the first study to dig into this question. Experts have other ideas that may complement a liberal application of gratitude.
BJ Fogg, director of the Persuasive Technology Lab at Stanford, has suggested catching a ride on the other person’s “motivational wave.” When you notice the other party seems keen to make the desired change, step up and offer them concrete support.
If you want someone in your life to exercise more, that could mean going to tour gyms with them when they express an interest. Or it could mean sitting down with your perpetually disorganized employee and walking them through a new calendar system when they come to you for help.
Another idea, suggested by psychologist Devon Price, is digging into what barriers or obstacles might be preventing a person from changing. If my husband’s laundry delinquency is a result of being rushed in the morning, maybe we could switch around some chores to ease his time crunch. If your colleague is putting off a task because of fear of failure, additional training or support will probably work better than scolding.
Finally, time-use expert and author Laura Vanderkam says that, if you want others to change, you should first talk about your own self-improvement projects. If a direct report is struggling with time management, for instance, she advises walking them through your own diary as a way to get a conversation about tradeoffs and challenges started.
Step one: Give up the nagging
What all of these experts agree on is that if you really want someone to change their behavior, nagging might relieve some of your frustration. But it’s not going to actually work. Try gratitude, support, and open dialogue instead.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
For a lot of us, there are seasons when we start to feel stuck and unsure how to move forward. Maybe your work routine becomes monotonous or your job search looks bleak. Maybe your relationship doesn’t feel fulfilling or your family keeps reopening old wounds. Whatever the case, many of us can become victims of our own negativity, trapped in a mind loop that keeps us in a state of stress and despair.
So we turn to TikTok and YouTube videos to see what can help us out of this rut. Or we’d read advice columns and self-help and self-improvement books like How to Be Less Miserable by Lybi Ma. This book reaffirms much of what we’ve learned so far on our path to becoming the best versions of ourselves.
We’re stepping out of our comfort zone today, and we hope you’ll come along on this journey with us. Here are some of our main takeaways from Lybi Ma’s How to Be Less Miserable!
Image Source: Blackstone Publishing
Book Overview: How To Be Less Miserable
Summary: As human beings, we are all predisposed to a negative mindset. This tendency is a byproduct of the evolution of our species. Our hunter-gatherer ancestors had to stay vigilant at all times—what if a man-eating predator was lurking in their midst? It was more important to be aware of potential danger than to find food. It’s part of our genetic code, and we’ve carried this innate predisposition that something bad is about to happen to us into the twenty-first century. Even the most optimistic among us aren’t immune.
How to Be Less Miserable offers current research on the human brain’s tendency toward negative thinking, why we do it, why it’s so hard to stop doing it, and how we can use evidence-based methods to overcome the patterns that lead to anxiety, depression, and more. The author covers a wide range of topics, including:
healthy ways to pursue happiness
how to overcome stress and anxiety
tools for dealing with emotions
building resiliency and mental flexibility
the importance of social groups
the perils of social media
personal growth and the pursuit of passions
being kind and true to yourself
The strategies found in this book are based in large part on wisdom from the experts and researchers Lybi Ma has worked with throughout her career. They provide helpful and meaningful ways to manage and overcome negative thinking. Ultimately, How to Be Less Miserable is for anyone searching for a different way to think about emotional and mental health.
Understand That Failures & Mistakes Will Pass
You know when you go to bed and start replaying every single embarrassing moment or negative interaction that has ever happened to you? (Don’t @ us; we’ve been in the same boat.) This cycle will only continue as long as you let it happen. Instead, try to interrupt these thoughts as soon as you notice them. Accept that these failures and mistakes are bound to happen and that they’re meant to help you grow, not to make you cringe or beat yourself up about them daily.
Give Yourself Permission To Feel Good
We know; this seems like a no-brainer. But How to Be Less Miserable reminds us to allow ourselves to be happy. Rather than worrying about how long a happy moment or good feeling will last, let yourself enjoy it just because you can. It doesn’t have to be something earth-shattering like a picturesque proposal in the Swiss Alps. It can be feeling joy from reading one book or clearing out a junk drawer. Celebrate the small wins whenever you can. We promise it’s not a trap.
Stop Trying To Be In Control 24/7
We’re going to hold your hands when we say this. You can’t control every aspect of your life. Sorry! Life will not hesitate to throw your carefully planned schedule into disarray. What matters most is your ability to adapt to these unknown factors and manage your emotions. It will seem very scary to let go of your control at first. But once you accept that not everything will go the way you wanted or planned, then you can feel at peace. It may not be pleasant, but it will ultimately turn out okay.
Lybi Ma’s How to Be Less Miserable serves as a much-needed reminder for us to stop dwelling on the negativity and despairing over every mishap. Instead, we should allow ourselves to feel good and let go of things we can’t control.
How to Be Less Miserable by Lybi Ma goes on sale October 14th, and you can order a copy of it here!
What do you think of this new self-help book? Are you interested in reading How to Be Less Miserable? Let us know on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram!
If you want to understand yourself better, there is no shortage of systems, beliefs and tests out there offering help, from astrology, to corporate favorite Myers Briggs, to scientists’ preferred framework, the Big 5.
But if you’ve tried these and still feel like nothing quite captures your inner reality, then I have intriguing news for you. There’s a hot new personality type in town that just might fit. Maybe you’re an otrovert.
What’s an otrovert?
The term was coined by respected Mount Sinai psychiatrist Rami Kaminski in his book The Gift of Not Belonging. The title should give you a clue as to what it means. An introvert is someone who is drained by other people and gets their energy by turning inward. An extrovert draws their energy from other people. (And an ambivert is somewhere in the middle of the spectrum between the two.)
But an otrovert isn’t defined by their relationships with others at all. “Otroverts is the term I use for those who don’t feel the obligation to merge their identities with others,” Kaminski explained in New Scientist. They’re not shy or antisocial. They just feel no need to tie their identity to groups or labels.
An Inc.com Featured Presentation
These are the anti-joiners. Those that get no buzz from being part of a team or collective. To those with a more social orientation that might sound sad. Isn’t it lonely always being on the outside looking in? But otroverts who accept themselves (and avoid being browbeaten for their independent ways) aren’t troubled by their self-sufficiency, according to Kaminski.
Instead, they’re empowered by it. “When you don’t belong to any group, you aren’t subject to the group’s implicit rules or swayed by its influence. This confers two beneficial traits: originality and emotional independence,” he writes. “Being outside the hive, so to speak, allows you to think and create freely: to come up with unique ideas, untainted by groupthink or by what has come before.”
The joy of finding a personality label that fits
That, I’m not going to lie, sounds pretty seductive to me. Kaminski kicks off his article by explaining his lack of enthusiasm for the Boy Scouts as a child. “While the other kids seemed awed by this initiation,” he recalls of his first scouting pledge, “I felt nothing.”
I too found the Brownies baffling as a kid. And I vividly recall a camp counselor informing me I was “badly socialized” because I didn’t want to play capture the flag (or any other team activity). He was probably right, but I didn’t feel any inclination to change. To this day I rigorously avoid anything requiring membership meetings or a uniform.
“Otroverts will not join. It’s not in them. They tend to shy away from organized religion, political tribes, or any cause that demands allegiance, because they don’t understand the logic of sacrificing a differentiated mind just to conform to the hive,” writes therapist (and self described otrovert) Jennifer Chase Finch of Medium.
Yup, that’s me.
The advantages of being an otrovert
Which is why I should also be happy to hear from Kaminski that I am in good company. Frida Kahlo and Albert Einstein were likely otroverts, he asserts. And it’s certainly reassuring to hear from Chase Finch that otroverts make “remarkable leaders and powerful keynote speakers, great independent thinkers, and creative savants.”
But to be honest, while my kneejerk reaction is to see myself in this new label and feel validated. There are also reasons to remain skeptical.
First and foremost, there is something inherently contradictory in finding comfort in a socially constructed label that describes people who reject socially constructed labels. There is also the complication that while I may have zero interest in clubs and committees, I am deeply committed to more intimate forms of belonging, like family and friends.
Even more fundamental though is the concern that any personality label, not just the idea of “otroverts,” can be a limiting mirage.
The Barnum Effect and why you should be wary of personality tests
Way back in the 1940s psychologist Bertram Forer demonstrated that people will almost always see themselves in the results of personality tests. If the test says something bland like “you often doubt you did the right thing,” most people agree the test describes them well. Forer called this tendency — which explains how horoscopes work — the Barnum Effect after the famed circus impresario P.T. Barnum.
A recent study reported that 85 percent of students found a totally fake personality test convincing, demonstrating the Barnum Effect is still going strong some 80 years later.
As psychologists Kelvin Wong and Wenting Chen warn on The Conversation, “If you pigeonhole yourself into a rigid personality type, you run the danger of limiting yourself to the boundaries of this label. You may even use the label to excuse your own or others’ problematic behaviors.”
Don’t limit yourself with the otrovert label
What’s the bottom line for entrepreneurs? If you see yourself in the otrovert label and it helps you feel more comfortable in your own skin and more confident in deploying your personal strengths, then add it to your vocabulary. If tools work, use them.
Now that I know the word, I can’t help but see myself as an otrovert. But I still have obligations as a professional, citizen, and member of my local community to participate in groups and the future we’re all building together. If that means joining an agonizing PTA meeting or networking group or two, I should probably get over myself and my comfy labels and do it.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
