Tag: protein for women

Welcome to Sex, Sweat and Sanity, a Q&A column about all things intimacy and perimenopause, answered by our experts.

Rachel Murray is a nurse practitioner who specializes in menopause and sexual medicine. She owns Virago Health in Waxhaw. Liz Mallers is a certified sexologist who specializes in intimacy and pleasure. She owns Liz Mallers Sexology.

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I am 48 years old. I have always been the same weight but gained 10 pounds in the last year. I have made no changes to my diet or exercise regimen. This has begun to impact my body image and libido. What can I do?

Rachel: At 48, it is quite possible the hormones in the body are beginning to shift into a phase called perimenopause. During this time, many women will gain approximately 5-10 pounds, and 20% of women may gain more than that. This can feel discouraging. The good news is: It is not you! Other good news: there are things you can do.

Let’s talk about some causes for the weight gain:

• A change in hormone levels can cause an increase in adipose tissue
• Women experience a decrease in resting energy expenditure during this time
• Muscle mass decreases 3-8% starting when women hit 30 years old
• Mitochondria — the powerhouse of our cellular makeup — decrease in number and function with age

What can do you do?

Think of this as a time of recalibration in the body. It is a time when healthy choices matter significantly and smaller changes have bigger impact. Consider the pillars of health:

• Nutrition: Aim for 100-130 grams of protein daily with 30-35 grams of fiber daily. Eat the rainbow!
• Physical activity: Weightlifting two-three times weekly to muscle failure is important. I highly recommend working with a personal trainer to ensure appropriate form and prevent injury.
• Restorative sleep: It’s very important to get seven to eight hours of rest each night. Tips include sunlight initially in the morning, a balanced diet throughout the day to prevent cortisol spikes (that can cause nighttime waking) and talking to your healthcare provider about supplements.
• Stress management: Consider massage, therapy, exercise, appropriate sleep
• Avoiding drugs and alcohol
• Social connection: so important!

Liz: It’s very common to experience decreased libido with unwanted weight gain. When you don’t feel comfortable in your body, you likely don’t feel comfortable sharing your body, especially in an intimate way. Focus on making efforts to accept and love your changing body.

Here are some ideas to practice:

• Stop your ANTs (automatic negative thoughts). When you notice yourself thinking or saying something negative about your body, say “stop” and replace that thought with three kind statements. For example, let’s say you walk past a bakery and think: “I’d love a pastry, but my stomach already looks too flabby.” Say “stop” to command your attention away from the negative thought. Then you might tell yourself, “I have a great smile, I am rocking this outfit today and my legs are sexy.”
• Practice gratitude for your body. Aim to start and end your day with a statement of appreciation for your body. Practicing gratitude has been scientifically proven to make a positive impact on your psyche. A more positive mentality toward your changing body will help you feel sexier and increase your desire to share it with a partner.
• Sex educator Emily Nagoski suggests getting in front of a mirror as naked as you are comfortable and naming everything you like about your body. It’s OK if you can only list a few things. Do it again the next day and the next. Over time, your list will grow, and your body image will improve with it.

Don’t expect any of these mindfulness techniques to have a miraculous effect overnight. Keep practicing, and as your relationship with your body improves, so will your libido.

The bottom line

Gaining weight as you enter perimenopause is a common occurrence, and it often puts a damper on your body image and libido as a result.

Make healthy diet choices, get enough sleep and physical activity, and manage your stress properly. Heal your relationship with your body by stopping negative thoughts, practicing gratitude and focusing on the things that you love about your body.

With time, you will see an improvement in your body image and libido. Of course, don’t hesitate to reach out to professionals like Rachel and Liz for extra support when needed.

This story was originally published January 2, 2026 at 6:00 AM.