WANTED: Kate Middleton, The Princess of Wales, presumed kidnapped by King Charles and the Royal Family unless returned to our TV screens immediately.
I’m not one to follow the
Royal Family — all I know is that Queen Elizabeth may be reincarnated into Trisha Paytas’ baby, Malibu Barbie, and they presumably disappeared Princess Di. And while my phone didn’t scream with a missing persons report, my Twitter (X?) timeline is all ablaze with conspiracies about what happened to Kate.
Amidst confirmation that King Charles III is battling cancer, followers of the Royals have noticed a peculiar missing piece at certain public events: Prince William’s wife, Kate. While William made a last-minute appearance at Greece’s King Constantine II’s funeral, Kate was noticeably absent. According to
Vanity Fair,
Middleton, 42, has been recovering from her procedure at Adelaide Cottage, the couple’s residence at the royal family’s Windsor Castle estate, since she was discharged from a London hospital after a week-plus inpatient stay following the surgery.
And while we hope the Princess of Wales is in good health, the people of the internet have been making their own assumptions about what happened to Kate Middleton. Since we can’t help but speculate, social media users have tossed about ideas like she’s waiting out a bad haircut, she’s gotten plastic surgery, she’s run away to live in America, the list goes on…
Across the pond at Buckingham Palace, sources claim it was planned abdominal surgery (and we hope she’s safe and healthy)…but if we chose to believe everything the Royals said, we wouldn’t have
The Crown.
Jai Phillips
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