ReportWire

Tag: philosophy

  • 3 Peabody students honored at Bishop Fenwick

    PEABODY — Three Peabody students at Bishop Fenwick High School have received awards for their contributions to the school’s community.

    Junior Elias Rodriguez, sophomore Emily Legault and freshman Teddy Fleming were given the school’s Fenwick First Award, which recognizes students, faculty and staff who go above and beyond and live the virtues of faith, integrity, relationship, scholarship and tradition, the school said in a statement.

    This page requires Javascript.

    Javascript is required for you to be able to read premium content. Please enable it in your browser settings.

    kAm#@5C:8F6K 😀 2 “C6DA64E65 G@:46 2>@?8 4=2DD>2E6D” H9@ “=625D E9C@F89 D6CG:46 2?5 6I2>A=6 @? E96 D@446C 7:6=5[ 😕 42>AFD >:?:DECJ 2?5 H:E9:? u6?H:4<’D w:DA2?:4 4@>>F?:EJ[” E96 D49@@= D2:5]k^Am

    kAm“w:D H@C< 6E9:4[ A@D:E:G6 2EE:EF56 2?5 5C:G6 7@C 6I46==6?46 6=6G2E6 E9@D6 2C@F?5 9:>[ 2?5 9:D 6>6C8:?8 =6256CD9:A 😀 2=C625J >2<:?8 2 >62?:?87F= :>A24E]”k^Am

    kAm{682F=E 😀 2 565:42E65 >6>36C @7 E96 32?5[ 😀 “2 ECF6 =:89E 😕 @FC 4@>>F?:EJ” 2?5 “=:G6D u6?H:4< 7:CDE 😕 6G6CJ H2J[” E96 D49@@= D2:5]k^Am

    kAm“$96 >2<6D :E 96C >:DD:@? E@ 3C:89E6? E96 52J @7 @E96CD—@776C:?8 2 H2C> 8C66E:?8 E@ 6G6CJ 724F=EJ 2?5 DE277 >6>36C D96 A2DD6D] t>:=J 2AAC@2496D =62C?:?8 H:E9 6?6C8J 2?5 7@4FD[ AC@24E:G6=J D66<:?8 96=A H96? ?66565 2?5 2=H2JD DEC:G:?8 E@ 8C@H]”k^Am

    kAmu=6>:?8 “6I6>A=:7:6D u6?H:4< 7:CDE E9C@F89 9:D 2FE96?E:4:EJ[ <:?5?6DD 2?5 566A 4@>>:E>6?E E@ 9:D 72:E9” E9C@F89 9:D A2CE:4:A2E:@? 😕 >2?J 4=F3D 2?5 24E:G:E:6D[ :?4=F5:?8 E962EC6[ 32?5[ HC6DE=:?8 2?5 >@4< EC:2=]k^Am

    kAm“%655J 3C:?8D 6?E9FD:2D> 2?5 DEC@?8 677@CE E@ 2 C:8@C@FD 4@FCD6 =@25 2?5 6?8286D 7F==J 😕 6G6CJ 4=2DD] z?@H? 2D @?6 @7 E96 86?F:?6=J ?:46DE DEF56?ED 😕 @FC 4@>>F?:EJ[ 96 3F:=5D >62?:?87F= C6=2E:@?D9:AD 24C@DD 2== 8C256D 2?5 D92C6D 9:D >2?J E2=6?ED H:E9 9F>:=:EJ 2?5 ;@J]”k^Am

    kAmu=6>:?8 AC6G:@FD=J 2EE6?565 s6??:D*2C>@FE9 |:55=6 $49@@=] {682F=E H6?E E@ w:88:?D |:55=6 $49@@= 367@C6 u6?H:4< 2?5 #@5C:8F6K H2D 2 DEF56?E 2E vC62E #@4< r9C:DE:2? p4256>J 😕 s2?G6CD]k^Am

    By News Staff

    Source link

  • Opinion | AI Is a Tool, Not a Soul

    Pope Leo XIV tries to head off claims that chatbots are sentient beings with rights.

    Kristen Ziccarelli

    Source link

  • Aliens Might Not Do Physics Like We Do—and That’s a Problem

    At Gizmodo, we love a good story about aliensespecially if it gives us a headache. Personally, I reward extra points for bonus dad jokes.

    Daniel Whiteson and Andy Warner’s upcoming book, Do Aliens Speak Physics? And Other Questions about Science and the Nature of Reality presents the best combination of all these things. The book imagines what it would be like to discuss physics with aliens, drawing from a diverse array of experts in the history and philosophy of science—accompanied by Warner’s delightful illustrations plus physics puns and hypothetical donuts.

    Co-author Daniel Whiteson is a particle physicist at CERN and the University of California, Irvine, as well as a science communicator and host of the podcast Daniel and Kelly’s Extraordinary Universe. Gizmodo spoke to Whiteson about the philosophical nature of the search for aliens and what it reveals about our own humanity. The following conversation has been lightly edited for grammar and clarity.

    Gayoung Lee, Gizmodo: Okay, so, do aliens speak physics? What is this question even asking?

    Daniel Whiteson: I don’t know if aliens speak physics! That’s why I wrote this book, to argue both sides of this question. I feel like a lot of physicists assume that the physics we are doing is universal… that the way we’re doing things and our way of life is the only way.

    I wanted to push back on that a little bit and explore and make the opposite argument and suggest that there might be a lot of humanity in the physics that we’re doing—the way we think about it, the questions we’re asking, the answers we accept, and our path into physics.

    Gizmodo: At the very start of your book, you introduce an extended version of something called the Drake equation. What is it, and how have you reimagined it?

    Whiteson: The Drake equation is a fun way to organize your thoughts about whether there are other intelligent civilizations in the galaxy. There have to be stars or planets for them, life that evolved to develop sentience and technology, and they have to do it all roughly within a time window that we can communicate with them.

    It breaks these features apart because they are separate issues. It emphasizes something really crucial: you’ve got to have all the pieces to work. If any of those numbers go to zero, you’re out of luck.

    © Andy Warner
    Whiteson Warner Drake Equation Extended
    © Andy Warner

    But in the book, we’re not just interested in intelligent aliens. We want to find intelligent aliens that do science the way that we do so we can learn from them. Otherwise, it’s just too big a space to explore, and all those things must come together for this intergalactic science conference that is my personal fantasy.

    Gizmodo: Okay, so let’s unpack some of these additions. The first one is about whether aliens do science at all.

    Whiteson: Sure. This was tricky to tackle. I think a lot of people assume that if aliens arrive, they’re technological—because they’ve gotten here. They have some way to cross the vast distances between the stars, so they must have a scientific understanding of how they did that.

    Whiteson Warner Science Technology
    © Andy Warner

    But historians of science and philosophers of science understand that technology doesn’t require science. We’ve been using stone tools for millions of years. We had technology in terms of writing, fermentation, metallurgy, and agriculture. These are technological improvements that have improved our lives without us understanding how they worked.

    Having a scientific mindset is going to accelerate your technology, but it’s not essential. So that’s what we dig into in that question. Is science actually essential? What is science anyway?

    Gizmodo: So assuming aliens are scientific, another element is whether they ask the same questions.

    Whiteson: One motivating piece of philosophy for me was this question of emergence—why is the universe understandable at all? We can use fairly simple mathematical tools to understand the world around us. Instead of the universe just being filled with chaos, somehow this simplicity emerges.

    We don’t know what the fundamental layer of reality is—if it even has one. So, all of our science studies emergent phenomena. It might be that it’s sort of a way we filter the universe. The universe is crazy and filled with all sorts of buzzing noise, but we see certain stories that are of interest to us.

    Whiteson Warner Astronomy Mechanical Eyeballs
    © Andy Warner

    On the other hand, if emergence is something that’s part of the universe—like there’s just some way things average out—then we’ll have that in common with aliens. They’ll study planets the way that we do. They’ll study particles the way that we do. They’ll see the same simple stories. But it’s not something we know the answer to until they show up.

    Gizmodo: Do you think there’s any point in trying to communicate with animals on Earth to prepare for aliens? It can be argued that interspecies communication among animals on Earth has practically zero bearing on how an extraterrestrial, intelligent being might message us.

    Whiteson Warner Alien Communication
    © Andy Warner

    Whiteson: I think I would disagree. I mean, I agree that it’s unlikely that learning dolphin is going to help us communicate with the aliens. But the fact that we’ve failed to communicate with those species tells us that we have a lot to learn about talking to other species and that more practice and more success could set us up for more success in the future.

    There are definitely some assumptions we’re making and some barriers we haven’t pushed through. So, we can’t understand why or how whales are singing to each other and how bats are clicking to each other, but there’s definitely something going on there.

    Gizmodo: The extended Drake equation isn’t a yes-or-no question on whether aliens exist. It’s an ideal scenario in which we could have a meaningful, intellectual exchange with them.

    Whiteson: Yeah.

    Gizmodo: I’m sensing that makes it even harder for us to encounter the “ideal” alien civilization. In your view, what is the worst-case scenario that doesn’t end with everyone on Earth dying?

    Whiteson: (Laughs) Yeah, well, one amazing outcome is that we have everything aligned with them. They just tell us the answers, and we’re catapulted into the future of science—incredible!

    More frustrating, what you might call a worst-case scenario, is that there is nobody else out there doing science the way that we are. They’re not interested in our questions. They’re looking for different answers. They see a different slice of the universe—we’re alone at the table at the Intergalactic Science Conference. That would be unfortunate.

    Whiteson Warner Alien Communication Bad Ending
    © Andy Warner

    From a philosophical point of view, it might be more fun if the aliens don’t satisfy any of our requirements, because that’s when we learn about our own peculiarities. Like, “Oh, wow, that is interesting that we do this science this one way, and everybody else is doing it that way. What does that mean about being human?”

    So I think the philosophers would be more excited if we were the only ones in the galaxy doing science this particular way. But the physicists would be frustrated for sure.

    Gizmodo: On that note, is the search for intelligent alien life really humanity’s own ego search?

    Whiteson: Oh, for sure. Definitely. On one hand, we want to find aliens similar to us, because it validates us. On the other hand, that discovery, finding lots of human-like aliens, would make us less special.

    My favorite thing about searching for aliens is that any answer is mind-blowing and wonderful in its own way. So, I’m definitely pro-aliens, no matter what. Even if the aliens show up and do send us to the hydrogen mines, I still think that would be interesting. I’m that much pro-alien visitation—I’ll take the risk!

    Whiteson Warner First Alien Contact Outcome
    © Andy Warner

    Gizmodo: The book presents an impressive union of philosophy and science, but you’re a physicist at heart. So, having written this book, doing the research for it… How has the process changed the way that you approach your own work as a scientist?

    Whiteson: Good question. You know, I’ve always been interested in philosophy at an amateur level. But I realized that particle physics is filled with people who have strong philosophical opinions but think philosophy is a waste of time. They have this [Richard] Feynman attitude that physicists need philosophers the way birds need ornithologists.

    If you ask them, is the top quark real? Was it there before we discovered it? They’ll say, “Of course, what are you, an idiot? Of course it is. It’s physical; it’s there. We found it; we didn’t create it.”

    … I found those two things in conflict. Yeah, we didn’t create these particles, but we never see them, we don’t hold them in our hands, and we don’t interact with them. We’re telling stories about the way the universe works. But in the end, those are stories, and they’re stories that satisfy us. We don’t know if the same stories would satisfy other people, so it definitely shines a light on my own work and makes me wonder what it means.

    But even if physics isn’t universal, it doesn’t make me less interested in doing physics. I still think it’s a super fun puzzle to try to unravel the universe. We’re in this intimate relationship with the universe, and it matters what matters to us. It’s part of being human.

    Do Aliens Speak Physics? is being published by W. W. Norton & Company and will be available online or in hardcover on November 4, 2025.

    Gayoung Lee

    Source link

  • Best of 2024: Top Self-Improvement Articles, Worksheets, and Highlights

    Celebrate 15 years at The Emotion Machine with our ‘Best of 2024’ roundup, featuring top articles and worksheets on psychology, personal growth, relationships, and philosophy — then get excited for another year of self-improvement!


    2024 marks the fifteenth year of self-improvement at The Emotion Machine, making it one of the oldest and largest independent psychology websites on the internet – with zero plans to stop or slow down anytime soon.

    If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that no matter the ups and downs we face over the year, a steady commitment to growth always pays off on a long enough timeline. Over the past 15 years, I’ve had many rewarding highs and devastating lows, but at the end of the day, I’m better off today than I was before — and that’s the truest measure of growth. It’s the benchmark I’ll continue to use as I move forward in life.

    This year, as always, we’ve explored a huge range of topics related to psychology and self-improvement: from practical tips for emotional regulation to in-depth movie reviews to social analyses about the current state of the world. A quick look at the list below shows that The Emotion Machine is far more than just your everyday self-help blog, it’s a vast resource dedicated to education and knowledge in all its forms.

    Without further ado, here are our best articles and worksheets of 2024!

    Articles

    Our best articles of the year, broken down by category.

    Psychology and Mental Health

    Emotions Are Weakness: 5 Maladaptive Beliefs That Lead to Emotional Dysfunction

    Why the belief that “emotions are weakness” leads to suppression and dysfunction — and why accepting and embracing emotions plays an important role in happiness, health, and well-being.

    Rumination vs. Savoring: The Neural Dynamics Between Positive and Negative Thinking

    The same brain regions handle both rumination (negative replay) and savoring (positive replay) — here’s how to use this part of your brain in a new and healthier way.

    6 Common Factors Behind All Successful Therapy

    What makes therapy effective? These universal factors are the foundation for success, no matter the approach.

    Good Will Hunting: A Masterclass in Therapy and Emotional Growth

    An in-depth, session-by-session breakdown of Good Will Hunting – widely regarded as one of the best depictions of therapy in film.

    Positive Psychology Tools Are Most Effective For Those Who Practice Long-Term

    New research highlights the importance of consistent practice for maximizing the benefits of psychology tools.

    How Aesthetic Chills Boost Feelings of Acceptance, Inspiration, and Meaning

    Discover the power of “aesthetic chills” (or “goosebumps”) and how this unique sensation enhances awe, inspiration, and personal growth.

    The Worldbuilding of Inside Out 2: New Emotions, Belief System, and a Sense of Self

    A closer look at how the sequel deepens its exploration of emotions, identity, and belief systems.

    2024 World Happiness Rankings: USA Falls Out of Top 20, Youngest Hit Hardest

    What this year’s happiness rankings reveal about global trends—and why young Americans are struggling most.

    Motivation and Personal Growth

    The Will to Improve: Bridging the Gap Between “Talk” and “Action”

    How to overcome inertia and turn intention into meaningful action.

    The Pebble In Your Shoe: Tiny Frustrations That Can Ruin Your Day

    Why small, unresolved annoyances can derail your entire mood. Here’s why it’s best to fix them now rather than later.

    Deathbed Motivation: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

    Lessons from those at life’s end, inspiring you to live without regrets.

    What If: The Power of Hypotheticals and Counterfactual Thinking

    How exploring “what if” scenarios sharpens your thinking and decision-making.

    50+ Destructive Patterns That Scream Low Confidence and Insecurity

    A comprehensive guide to identifying common patterns of self-doubt.

    The Domino Effect of Overcoming Your Fears One At A Time

    Tackling fears incrementally to build unstoppable momentum.

    50+ Motivational Latin Proverbs to Elevate Your Thinking to New Levels

    Ancient wisdom to inspire modern self-improvement.

    My Biggest Goal of 2024

    Written at the start of the year, this piece explores the ambition, mindset, and strategy behind setting my biggest goal for 2024.

    Intermittent Fasting: The Mind-Body Benefits of Conscious Calorie Restriction

    Exploring the science and mental clarity behind intentional fasting.

    Relationships and Communication

    The Art of Rejection and Saying No: One of the Most Underrated Social Skills

    Master the delicate but essential skill of turning others down with grace and confidence.

    The Compliment Sandwich: How to Give Constructive Feedback That Sticks

    Deliver feedback that resonates by balancing honesty with encouragement.

    Social Bonding Through Movies: The Emotional Magic Behind Watching Films Together

    Why sharing films with others can forge deep emotional connections.

    The Power of Sincerity – And How to Stop Hiding Behind Sarcasm and Irony

    Unlock the strength of genuine communication by breaking free from sarcasm and pretense.

    Finding Meaning in Virtual Worlds: How Online Gaming and Digital Communities Can Transform Lives

    Discover how online spaces can cultivate real-life growth, meaning, and connection, as shown in the documentary The Remarkable Life of Ibelin.

    Third Spaces: The Building Blocks of A Healthy Community and Social Life

    Explore the social hubs that enrich our lives and strengthen our communities, outside of home and work.

    The Many Faces of Deception: Understanding the Different Types of Lying

    Learn how to recognize and identify the diverse ways people bend the truth.

    14 Powerful Genre-Bending Films That Explore Love in Unconventional Ways

    Films that redefine love and challenge how we think about relationships.

    The Narcissistic Culture of “Image” and Excessive Self-Monitoring

    How excessive self-monitoring is eroding confidence and authenticity in our social lives.

    Philosophy and Meaning

    A Lifelong Project: Staying True to Your Mission in a Quick Fix World

    The power of commitment is a rare resource in a culture obsessed with instant gratification.

    One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy: Finding Meaning in Eternal Struggle

    An existential perspective on life’s inherent challenges and the quest to find meaning in them.

    Paradigm Shifts: A Complete Change in Worldview

    When you need to rethink everything you believe and let go of old ways of looking at the world.

    The Immovable Mind: Schopenhauer’s Daily Routine For 27 Years

    A case study on the unique and disciplined routine of the philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer.

    The Beggar’s Gift: An Opportunity to Be Good

    From a Buddhist perspective, begging monks perform a powerful service by allowing everyday people to do something good and accumulate positive karma.

    Trader vs. Hero Mindset: Why A Healthy Society Needs Both

    Understand the balance between self-interest and selflessness for a thriving community.

    Information Pollution: The Tragedy of the Commons and Well-Poisoning on the Internet

    How the overload of misinformation on the internet is eroding trust, intelligence, and sanity.

    Worksheets

    At the start of 2024, I pledged to create at least one new worksheet every month. By year’s end, I exceeded that goal, creating a total of 16 new worksheets, including:

    Relationships and Social Connection

    Social Support Database

    Past Relationships

    Social Anxiety Hierarchy

    Thank You Letter

    Relationship Reigniter

    Focus: Tools to improve relationships, enhance social skills, and build stronger connections with others.

    Emotional Mastery and Self-Reflection

    Master Your Negative Emotions

    Burn Away Negative Beliefs

    Failure Analyzer

    Positive vs. Negative Self: A Dialogue

    The Five Whys Exercise

    Focus: These worksheets are designed to help users process emotions, challenge limiting beliefs, and reflect deeply on their thoughts and actions.

    Goals, Habits, and Productivity

    Daily Routine

    Monthly Review Worksheet

    Mid-Year Reset Worksheet

    Mental Rehearsal

    Healthy Life Checklist

    Future Self Worksheet

    Focus: These worksheets help users structure their daily lives, track progress, and maintain a focus on long-term goals and habits.

    An Evergrowing Resource for Self-Improvement

    We now offer a total of 29 self-improvement worksheets, cementing our long-term commitment to providing practical, actionable advice. These worksheets are exclusively available to members — join today to gain full access to these transformative tools.


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • Good Will Hunting: A Masterclass in Therapy and Emotional Growth

    Take a deep dive into the therapeutic relationship as illustrated in the classic film Good Will Hunting, where a defiant genius and a compassionate therapist confront pain, grief, and regret in an emotional journey that changes them both.


    Good Will Hunting (1997) is a widely acclaimed cinematic masterpiece, offering one of the most compelling depictions of therapy ever portrayed on screen — and it remains one of my personal favorite movies of all time.

    The main protagonist is Will Hunting (played by Matt Damon) who is portrayed as an underachieving genius who works a modest life as a janitor at the prestigious MIT. Despite his intelligence, he’s emotionally guarded and frequently gets into brawls and run-ins with the law. One day he solves a difficult math equation on a chalkboard and is then approached by professors and faculty to pursue his talents in mathematics, but first he has to see a therapist and work out his personal problems.

    Will’s journey into therapy begins reluctantly with a typical “I don’t need to see a shrink” attitude. But after a series of arrests and getting bailed out, he’s court-ordered to start seeing someone. He cycles through five therapists, including a hypnotist, antagonizing each one to the point that they refuse to work with him. Will’s sharp intellect and deep emotional defenses make it nearly impossible for anyone to break through and connect with him.

    Finally he meets Sean Maguire (played by Robin Williams), a compassionate but no-nonsense therapist with a rich life of experiences, including deep wounds from his past, and accumulated wisdom. This article breaks down their relationship, session by session, to explore how it evolved throughout the film and potential lessons we can takeaway from it.

    First Meeting: Tensions and Boundary Testing

    Will’s first meeting with Sean begins with his usual strategy of intellectual dominance and boundary testing.

    He scans Sean’s office, searching for things to criticize, and immediately targets his book collection. “You people baffle me. You spend all this money on beautiful, fancy books, and they’re the wrong f***ing books.” Sean, unfazed, spars back, standing his ground while playfully naming books he assumes Will has read.

    Things reach a climax in the scene when Will begins to mock a painting hanging on the wall, which hits a personal nerve for Sean regarding the grief and loss of his wife. Sean’s reaction is striking and unconventional. After listening patiently, he suddenly grabs Will by the throat and threatens him: “If you ever disrespect my wife again, I will end you.”

    While it’s an unethical move for a therapist, this unorthodoxy shows Will that he is not dealing with an ordinary therapy. Both Will and Sean share working class Irish backgrounds in the hard streets of Boston. Sean knows this language and he is willing to speak it if it’s the only way to get through to Will. Sean thus establishes himself as someone who understands Will’s world, where strength and confrontation often dominate.

    This moment lays the foundation for their relationship. Sean shows he’s human, not just a clinical professional, but also that he won’t be intimidated or dismissed by Will’s antics. It’s the first step in breaking down Will’s defenses.

    The Bench Scene: A Turning Point

    After their intense first meeting, Sean invites Will to a park, where he delivers one of the most memorable monologues in the film. Sean begins by admitting his vulnerability, sharing that Will’s comments about the painting kept him up all night and genuinely bothered him.

    By admitting Will’s comments hurt him, Sean shows he’s willing to show weakness, but then he sharply pivots to challenge Will directly, “But then you know what occurred to me? You’re just a kid. You don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about.”

    Sean goes on to explain that despite Will’s intellectual brilliance, he lacks lived experience. Sean shares personal moments that defined him — seeing the Sistine Chapel in person, being truly in love with someone, the scars of losing friends in war, and watching a loved one die of cancer. These deep experiences illustrate the limitations of knowledge without life. Sean’s speech is a blend of tough love and empathy, forcing Will to confront the gap between his intellectual defenses and his emotional reality.

    good will hunting bench

    The bench scene sets the tone for the remainder of their therapy. Sean acknowledges Will’s brilliance but challenges him to live beyond books and theories. Sean leaves the door open for Will to continue having sessions with him only if he is ready to truly open up.

    Second Therapy Session: Silence

    The next therapy session begins with complete silence as Sean and Will sit across from each other. After two emotionally charged meetings and still lingering tensions, neither is willing to be the first to reach out or break the quiet.

    The entire hour goes by and neither says a word. While this may feel like an unproductive session, this is another important moment in their relationship. The power of silence acts as a reset button in their relationship.

    Sometimes, simply sitting in the same room without confrontation (“sharing space”) can be a meaningful step toward healing. It allows both Sean and Will to recalibrate, setting the stage for a more productive dynamic moving forward.

    Third Therapy Session: Humor and Opening Up

    The silence stand-off continues into their third session, with each still not willing to budge or say the first word.

    Finally Will breaks the silence with a dirty joke, immediately breaking the tensions in the room and reinitiating conversation in a fun and light-hearted way. After they share a laugh, Will begins to open up about a girl he’s been dating recently. Will mentions how he worries the girl is “too perfect,” and that getting to know her more would just shatter that illusion. Sean wisely responds back, “That’s a super philosophy, that way you can go through your entire life without ever really getting to know anybody.”

    Sean opens up about his wife and the quirks behind their love, like her farting in her sleep and waking up the dog. After all these years, these are the little moments he remembers and cherishes about her. No one is “perfect,” and it’s often the imperfections that make someone special to us.

    good will hunting laugh

    Robin Williams improvised the story about his wife causing Matt Damon to genuinely burst out into laughter during this scene.


    After more light-hearted banter, Will turns the tables and ask why Sean never got remarried. Will firmly replies, “My wife is dead.” Then Will, always testing and challenging, uses one of Sean’s lines against him: “That’s a super philosophy, that way you can go through your entire life without ever really getting to know anybody.”

    Fourth Therapy Session: Love, Opportunities, and Regrets

    Now on much more amicable terms, Will opens up with an honest question, “Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you never met your wife?”

    Sean accepts that there’s been a lot of pain and suffering in his relationship, but he doesn’t regret any of it, because the good moments were worth it and he wouldn’t trade a single day with her through good or bad times. Will presses to learn more, “When did you know she was the one?”

    “October 21, 1975.”

    It was game six of the World Series, the biggest game in Red Sox history – and Sean slept on the sidewalk all night with friends to get tickets. He recalls the momentous occasion when the Red Sox hit a game-winning home run and everyone rushed the field.

    “Did you rush the field?”

    “Hell no, I wasn’t there. I was in a bar having a drink with my future wife.”

    The story illustrates how Sean knew his wife was the one when he was willing to miss the opportunity of a life-changing moment (being at a historical sporting event) for an even bigger life-changing moment (finding love and his future wife).

    Will is incredulous and yells at Sean for missing the game. He asks, “How did your friends let you get away with that?” And Will simply replies, “I just slid my ticket across the table and said, ‘Sorry guys, I gotta see about a girl.’”

    Fifth Therapy Session: Facing Potential and Values

    In this session, Will begins to ask deep questions about what he wants to do with the rest of his life and what are the best uses of his intelligence and talents.

    After a job interview with the NSA, Will goes into a diatribe about how his talents could be hypothetically used for catastrophic consequences, like overthrowing foreign governments, destabilizing entire countries, or getting his friends sent to fight some war overseas.

    Sean asks him directly, “What are you passionate about? What do you want?”

    They discuss the honor of work, including construction work and Will’s job as a janitor and the pride he takes in it, even though society may not view it as the most rewarding job in the world. Sean prods further asking why he chose to be a janitor at the most prestigious technical university in the world, and why he secretly finished math problems, highlighting that there may be something else driving Will.

    Sean asks again what Will wants to do with his life, and he deflects by joking that he wants to be a shepherd on his own plot of land away from the world. Sean isn’t willing to waste his time and decides to end the session early. Will has a final outburst before leaving, “You’re lecturing me on life? Look at you, you burnout!”

    This session reveals how Will is afraid of his potential and talents, including the responsibility that comes with them. “I didn’t ask to be born like this.” He feels safe continuing to live in his hometown, work his everyday job, and hangout with his childhood friends. He’s afraid to dream bigger. There may be something deeper driving Will’s thirst for knowledge, but he doesn’t know his core values and motivations, and doesn’t truly know himself or what he wants out of life.

    Sixth Therapy Session: “It’s Not Your Fault”

    The next therapy session begins with Sean uncovering more about Will’s painful past, particularly his life as an orphan and the physical abuse he endured with his foster parents. Sean reveals that he, too, grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father, forging another shared bond between them.

    As their conversation unfolds, Will correctly guesses that his final psychological report likely diagnoses him with “attachment issues” and a “fear of abandonment.” He acknowledges that these issues may have driven him to push his girlfriend away, leading to their recent breakup. When Sean gently asks if he wants to talk about it, Will declines.

    Sean then shifts the focus, holding onto the reports as he says, “I don’t know a lot. But you see this? All this shit? It’s not your fault.”

    At first, Will politely agrees, brushing off the comment, but Sean repeats the line: “It’s not your fault.” With each repetition, Will’s emotional defenses begin to crumble, and he cycles through a range of emotions—politeness, confusion, anger, and aggression—until the weight of Sean’s words fully sinks in. Overwhelmed, Will finally breaks down and cries, releasing years of suppressed pain and guilt.

    good will hunting

    In this profoundly cathartic moment, Sean embraces Will, offering the safe and empathetic connection that has been absent from Will’s life. It’s a turning point where Will confronts his past without blame or self-judgment, finally opening the door to acceptance and healing.

    Last Goodbye

    In their last meeting, Will thanks Sean for all of his help and shares the good news that he has accepted an exciting new job. Sean, in turn, reveals his plans to travel and explore life on his own terms. They exchange numbers to keep in touch, symbolizing the respect and connection they’ve built.

    This moment underscores that therapy is often a chapter in life that prepares individuals to continue their journeys independently. Both Will and Sean needed to say their goodbyes and go their separate ways to continue following their paths in life. Will has learned to face his fears and embrace his potential. Sean has rediscovered purpose and fulfillment through helping Will. Their goodbye is bittersweet but profound, a reminder that growth often requires letting go and moving forward.

    In the final scene, Will leaves a letter at Sean’s place that reads, “If the professor calls about that job, just tell him sorry—I had to go see about a girl.” This moment beautifully exemplifies Will’s newfound courage to follow his heart and take meaningful risks.

    Conclusion

    The therapeutic relationship between Sean and Will in Good Will Hunting is a masterclass in storytelling and psychology. Through humor, vulnerability, and mutual respect, Sean helps Will break through years of pain and fear, while Will reignites Sean’s passion for life. Their journey is a powerful testament to the transformative potential of therapy — and how creating a space of acceptance, healing, and growth can change lives.


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • Finding Meaning in Virtual Worlds: How Online Gaming and Digital Communities Can Transform Lives

    Virtual worlds and online gaming have become a new source of meaning, purpose, and belonging in today’s world, especially for those who struggle with loneliness, social anxiety, or physical disabilities. The new documentary The Remarkable Life of Ibelin shares the inspiring story of Mats Steen, a young Norwegian man with Duchenne muscular dystrophy, who built a meaningful life through the popular game World of Warcraft.


    The digital world is sometimes criticized for being a “shallow escape” from real life. However, for many it can be a reliable source of meaning, connection, and purpose—especially for those who may find it difficult to fulfill certain needs and values in their regular daily lives.

    The Remarkable Life of Ibelin

    The 2024 documentary The Remarkable Life of Ibelin is an insightful and heartfelt story on how people find real meaning, connection, and purpose through online gaming and virtual worlds.

    Mats Steen, a young Norwegian man living with Duchenne muscular dystrophy, found freedom and fulfillment through his digital persona, Ibelin, in the popular video game World of Warcraft. Mats’ physical limitations were significant, but in Azeroth, he experienced life without barriers.

    His parents only discovered the extent of his online relationships after his death, realizing that the world they thought was isolating had actually given Mats purpose and belonging. For eight years, Mats was an active member of the Starlight community, a guild within World of Warcraft that became like a family to him. Every evening, Mats would log in to talk, roleplay, and have fun with dozens of online friends. Throughout those years, he dedicated over 20,000 hours to the game and participated in conversations that filled more than 42,000 pages of chat logs.

    The documentary used these chat logs to recreate Ibelin’s life within the game, including sentimental and meaningful moments with his online friends Rumour and Reike. Viewers get to witness, through these virtual interactions, how Mats / Ibelin found a place where he was valued not for his physical abilities, but for his personality, humor, and kindness.

    Through this digital world, Mats was able to find a sense of purpose and belonging. As he says in the documentary, “Games are my sanctuary. I am safe here, feel valued and respected.”

    Finding Love and Romantic Fulfillment in Virtual Space

    Due to his physical condition, Mats struggled to find love and romance at school or among real life friends. However, through his virtual avatar Ibelin in the game, Mats was able to experience rare moments of romantic connection that he never thought possible. For once, he was able to connect with people just based on who they are on the inside; as Mats observed, “Everyone looks good in this world, so looks don’t matter, it’s about personality.”

    In World of Warcraft, Mats formed a romantic bond with a player known as Rumour. Their connection began with playful moments, like when Rumour stole his hat “just to see what happens,” and gradually grew into a deeper and more significant connection over time. One of the most memorable moments was their virtual kiss, which Mats described as, “The closest thing I’ve ever been to a crush my entire life.” Mats would give her digital gifts and flowers, and she reciprocated by drawing a real-life picture of their characters embracing—a gift Mats would hang in his room.

    Real-World Emotional Bonds

    These digital connections often spilled over into real lives and deep emotional bonds.

    One day, Rumour mysteriously disappeared from the game and stopped playing. Mats only later found out that her parents had taken her computer away due to her poor grades. This sudden disconnect deeply affected Rumour, whose real name was Lisette, and she began struggling with depression because she could no longer connect with her online friends. Mats, finding out about her pain, wrote a heartfelt letter to her parents, pleading with them to return her computer and emphasizing the value of the relationships she had formed in the digital world. His support helped Lisette during one of the most challenging periods she faced, showing how genuine and meaningful digital bonds can be, even outside of virtual spaces.

    Another one of his gaming friends, Xenia, known as Reike in the game, struggled to connect with her autistic son. Mats encouraged her to try gaming as a way to bridge the gap, and through World of Warcraft, Xenia was able to find new ways to communicate and bond with her son, including giving each other “virtual hugs,” which was a big deal because her son struggled with human touch in the real world. Xenia also said that her son could now share things with her that he normally couldn’t in person or face-to-face, improving their overall ability to communicate and connect through the shared experience of video games. 

    These are just a couple examples of how Mats’ digital relationships had significant, positive effects on the real lives of those around him, illustrating the powerful potential of online communities to bring about meaningful change.

    Opening Up About His Condition

    Mats took a long time to open up about his physical condition to the other members of Starlight. Feeling completely protected behind his virtual persona, Mats could ignore his material reality and didn’t have to worry about people showing him superficial pity or sympathy because of his illness. 

    This hesitation to open up and be vulnerable unfortunately led to some missed opportunities, including missed phone calls and video chats with his online friends. And during a real-life meetup and party for all the members of Starlight, Mats ended up being one of the few to not attend.

    Despite his fears of vulnerability, Mats eventually found the courage to open up as his illness progressed. He shared his fears of dying without meaning anything to anyone with Reike/Xenia, who reminded him of the profound impact he had made on her life and her son’s life. She then listed all the other people he had positively influenced, proving just how meaningful his presence had been over the years.

    Ibelin’s Funeral and Legacy

    After Mats’ death, the emotional weight of his digital connections became evident. When his parents announced his death on his blog, there was an outpouring of emails filled with love, sympathy, and support for Mats / Ibelin and his family. One email read, “What mattered to Mats was being able to spread joy in our lives. And stuff I learned from his example has changed the way I think about life. I hope that wherever he is, he knows that he’s remembered and treasured, and smiling right now.” Five of his online friends from multiple different countries attended his funeral, showing how deeply these connections extended outside of the virtual world. The Starlight community also organized their own virtual funeral for Ibelin, which has now become an annual tradition to honor his memory.

    Studies Supporting the Value of Online Gaming

    A well-known study (PDF) by Nick Yee (2006) identified three primary motivations for playing MMORPGs (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games), such as World of Warcraft. Each of these motivations can be seen in Mats’ experience as Ibelin:

    • Achievement: The drive to accomplish goals, gain recognition, and feel a sense of success. Mats fulfilled important roles within the game, like his ‘investigator job,’ which gave him a sense of duty and made him feel valued and respected as a member of the Starlight team.
    • Social Interaction: The desire to connect, build relationships, and be part of a community. Mats was an active member of the Starlight community, where he built meaningful friendships both online and offline, including his connections with Reike (Xenia) and Rumour (Lisette).
    • Immersion: The desire to lose oneself in a fantasy world and experience life through a completely new perspective. Mats immersed himself in his avatar Ibelin and the virtual world of Azeroth, finding freedom from his chronic illness and experiencing life in a way that was uniquely empowering and uplifting. 

    In another related study published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, researchers found that players often experience deep social connections within their gaming communities which can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation, especially for those who struggle with social anxiety or shyness. And a study in Computers in Human Behavior indicated that the collaborative nature of online games encourages many pro-social attributes such as improved communication, trust, and shared purpose.

    All of these elements are evident in Mats’ story, where his participation in the Starlight community gave him a valued role within a group and elevated his sense of identity and self-worth – all of which are important pillars in building a meaningful life. For individuals facing challenges like physical disabilities or social anxiety, online games can provide an accessible way to fulfill essential psychological needs that may be harder to meet in the physical world.

    Feeling Like You Made a Difference Somewhere

    One of the most meaningful aspects of Mats’ journey as Ibelin was his desire to make a difference in the lives of others. Despite his fears of dying without leaving a mark, Mats’ impact was undeniable. Through his friendships with Rumour, Reike, and others, he provided emotional support, created lasting memories, and changed lives for the better. His story reminds us that feeling like we have made a difference — whether in the physical or digital world —is a fundamental human need that gives life purpose.

    The annual virtual memorials held by the Starlight community, the heartfelt emails his parents received, and the international attendance at his funeral are all powerful symbols of the difference Mats made. His story shows that creating a positive impact on others isn’t just about physical presence, but ultimately the energy you give to others.

    Conclusion

    The Remarkable Life of Ibelin invites us to reconsider how we view digital spaces and the potential they hold for providing meaning, connection, and purpose. The emotional weight of Mats’ story moved me deeply—I’ll admit that by the end of the documentary I was tearing up a little bit, but that shows how powerful “just digital” relationships can be and how inseparable they are from our broader reality. For Mats Steen, World of Warcraft was more than just a game—it was a lifeline, a place where he could be a stronger and more confident version of himself, find love and romantic connection, and support his friends in a real and tangible way. His story is a powerful reminder that behind every avatar is a real person, and that the connections we form online can be just as enriching and life-changing as those we form in the physical world.  

    If you’re looking for more insightful documentaries, check out my recommended list of documentaries here.



    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • The Power of Sincerity – And How to Stop Hiding Behind Sarcasm and Irony

    The Power of Sincerity – And How to Stop Hiding Behind Sarcasm and Irony

    Modern culture has become dominated by sarcasm, irony, and carefully crafted personas. Sincerity and earnestness have become rare, but still powerful forces. Discover how embracing these qualities can transform personal relationships, enrich public discourse, and inspire acts of genuine heroism.


    Sincerity is one of the most important yet under-appreciated traits in today’s world. It’s the simple ability to be open and honest about your thoughts, beliefs, and intentions, without needing to play games, try to manipulate, or retreat to humor or sarcasm when conversations get tough.

    First and foremost, sincerity requires you to be honest with yourself and what really matters to you. It means you believe in something, and you are willing to speak and act on that conviction even if it makes you unpopular or unlikable. People will often see you as being genuine and authentic if you stand up for what you believe in, especially when it comes with social costs.

    Philosopher Thomas Carlyle emphasized the importance of “sincerity” and identified it as one of the universal threads behind all types of heroes, including writers, political leaders, and religious figures. For Carlyle, heroes don’t just preach or philosophize; they embody their beliefs in every action, making them prime examples of what true conviction looks like. They morally refuse to run, hide, or cower in the face of opposition, even when their very lives are at stake.

    Sincerity stands out sharply in our current environment, especially on the internet and social media where we are exposed to countless manufactured images and personas, driven by a general pattern of cultural narcissism and “fake it ’till you make it” philosophies. People believe as long as they can appear “happy” and “successful” on social media then it will become a reality in their actual lives. Lies, distortions, and deception are the modus operandi in today’s online world, you see it almost everywhere.

    The scary truth for most people is that sincerity makes you vulnerable and open to criticism. It invites others to judge you for who you are and what you really believe in. Negative feedback comes with the territory, and it will hurt because it will feel like a direct attack on you (and maybe it is). The alternative is to not be yourself – then you’ll never be attacked for who you are. That sounds safe and comfortable, but it’s also a form of quiet surrender.

    Hiding Behind Sarcasm

    One common way people protect themselves from this vulnerability is by being sarcastic or ironic in how they present themselves and their views.

    Sarcasm and irony can become convenient cop-outs when you are confronted with opposition or pushback from others. Instead of staking your ground and defending your beliefs, you can always fall back and tell people, “I was just joking,” or “I didn’t really mean that.”

    Nowadays it’s hard to tell what anyone really believes or doesn’t believe, which adds an extra layer of chaos and confusion in what is already a toxic environment for healthy dialogue.

    Sarcasm is a common defense mechanism in teens and young adults when confronted with a difficult or uncomfortable situation that they aren’t equipped to talk about. In the movie Inside Out 2 (which I wrote a recent article on here), the character Ennui – who represents disinterest and boredom – was a fun illustration of how sarcasm is used to deflect attention away from more serious situations or conversations that a person isn’t ready to tackle head-on.

    This is not uncharacteristic of the modern discourse we see in politics and culture, which is – at its core – childish, dishonest, and insincere. We are taught to not be too serious or care too much about the truth, but to focus on cheap wins, sensationalist headlines, silly memes, gotcha moments, snappy slogans, juicy scandals, and mean-spirited insults, trolling, and harassment. We are focused not on what is true, but what makes us “look good” or “feel good.”

    In theory, the goal of a healthy debate is to share different perspectives, exchange information, test out your ideas, provide facts and evidence to support your position, and come to some common ground or understanding of differences. None of this is happening in today’s intellectual environment.

    Sarcasm is just one way we avoid and shutdown these honest and difficult conversations. It can be a roadblock to understanding in both personal relationships and broader social and political issues.

    Of course sarcasm has its place as a vehicle for humor. It can be especially effective when you are responding to someone who is insulting you, or trolling you, or is acting in bad faith and isn’t interested in a sincere conversation from the start.

    At the same time, we need to try to give people the benefit of the doubt and at least try to have good faith conversations whenever possible. Without sincerity, there is no real path forward – only more conflict and hostilities.

    Sincerity as the Mark of Heroes

    As mentioned before, the philosopher and historian Thomas Carlyle identified “sincerity” as one of the universal threads behind all types of heroes, whether they be writers, philosophers, religious leaders, or political leaders.

    In his work On Heroes, Hero-Worship, and The Heroic in History, Carlyle champions figures like Martin Luther, the religious reformer who famously nailed his “95 Theses” to the church door, fully aware that it could bring him condemnation and peril. Luther challenged the powerful Catholic Church, especially its practice of selling indulgences, making his public protest an act of great personal risk. This unwavering belief in his cause, despite threats from powerful institutions, is a prime example of sincerity in action.

    Similarly, Carlyle held Oliver Cromwell, the military and political leader of the English Civil War, in high regard for his conviction and honesty. Cromwell was often criticized for his decisions, yet he remained steadfast in his mission to reshape England according to his moral and religious beliefs. Carlyle saw Cromwell’s sincerity as his defining characteristic, even if it made him deeply unpopular.

    Another chapter is dedicated to the prophet Muhammad. For over a decade, Muhammad faced ridicule, persecution, and exile for preaching his monotheistic beliefs in a society dominated by polytheism. Despite immense personal hardship, including the loss of family and status, Muhammad never wavered or compromised his beliefs, showing an unshakable faith in the truth of his message. As Carlyle writes:

      “A silent great soul; he was one of those who cannot but be in earnest; whom Nature herself has appointed to be sincere. While others walk in formulas and hearsays, contented enough to dwell there, this man could not screen himself in formulas; he was alone with his own soul and the reality of things. The great mystery of Existence, as I said, glared in upon him, with its terrors, with its splendors; no hearsays could hide that unspeakable fact, ‘Here am I!’; Such sincerity, as we named it, has in very truth something of divine. The word of such a man is a voice direct from Nature’s own heart. Men do and must listen to that as to nothing else;—all else is wind in comparison.”

    Regardless of how you feel about these historical figures, you can’t deny that they were sincere in their intentions and lived according to their values and convictions. These figures, according to Carlyle, demonstrate that heroes are people who not only believe in what they do but live and act upon that belief with wholehearted consistency, even in the face of tremendous personal and social costs.

    Sincerity remains a rare force for truth and change, and we need it now more than ever.


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • A Lifelong Project: Staying True to Your Mission in a Quick Fix World

    A Lifelong Project: Staying True to Your Mission in a Quick Fix World

    In a world that rewards short-term thinking and instant gratification, staying true to a long-term mission is becoming increasingly rare. In this personal reflection, I share the challenges and rewards of dedicating 15 years to The Emotion Machine, and why fighting the temptation of rapid success is key to building something truly meaningful and lasting.


    When I first started this website in 2009, I told myself it was a lifelong project that I could continue to build on until the day I died. Fifteen years later, I still stubbornly hold onto this belief, but I underestimated the difficulty of this commitment.

    Our current society does not reward long-term thinking. We are taught to live in the moment, take what is right in front of you, and indulge in what is comfortable and convenient; not in what is meaningful, but hard.

    This short-term attitude has taken over all of our society from business to politics to relationships.

    It’s rare to see someone think on a long timeline, especially 10, 20, 50, or 100 years into the future. In many ways, our brains aren’t wired to think on this scale; but we’re capable of doing it, and developing real foresight and concern about the future is a necessary ingredient to almost all human greatness.

    But who is really thinking about the future today?

    Companies focus on their daily stock prices and quarterly earnings, politicians focus on their election seasons, new relationships are just one swipe away on a dating app, and modern work has become increasingly focused on gigs and temporary contracts.

    Today, it’s rare to see anyone committed to anything for over 10 years, whether it’s a career, a relationship, a creative hobby, or a personal goal.

    It’s not completely our faults. Our current world incentives this short-term thinking by promoting hedonism (“give pleasure now”), materialism (“money is the most important thing”), and nihilism (“nothing really matters because eventually I’ll die.”)

    All of these beliefs and attitudes come together to create an epidemic of shortsightedness and selfishness, which ultimately lead to a lack of real meaning and purpose. This is not just an individual problem, but a systemic problem that permeates our society and institutions on almost every level.

    Where are the long-term visions?

    Our society lacks long-term vision and it manifests itself in countless ways. One example I know from firsthand experience is short-term thinking within the online creator “self help” spaces.

    As someone who has been writing and sharing content for over a decade, I’ve seen thousands of other websites, blogs, and social media accounts come and go. Many of them get really hyped up on some version of “become your own boss” or “I’m going to be an influencer”-type mindset, and then give up after a couple months of disappointment.

    One fundamental problem is they weren’t ever emotionally invested in what they were building. Their work wasn’t driven by a long-term vision or deep-seated convictions, they were solely interested in what they perceived as an easy and convenient way to get popular or make money.

    Once again, materialism shows its weakness. Money can be a bad motivator – even a destructive one – when it clashes with certain goals that require you to think beyond a mere trader mindset to achieve. If you are only motivated by money, then you are at the whims of money. If you are motivated by something deeper, then it takes more than money (or lack of) to stop you.

    This same attitude reveals itself within a lot of startup and tech companies. Many of today’s entrepreneurs start new companies or new projects just so they can sell it to a bigger corporation in a couple years. They don’t build things from cradle-to-grave anymore. They don’t care about creative ownership of their projects, or what happens to what they’ve built when it reaches the marketplace, they just see these projects as vehicles for quick bucks and rapid exits.

    Fighting the allure of rapid and cheap success

    Over the years I’ve had many opportunities to abandon the mission of this website for quick personal gain, but I chose not to.

    I’ve rejected numerous money-making opportunities because I felt they jeopardized the integrity of the website, from paid sponsorships, to SEO backlinks, to advertisements, to having tempting offers to buy the website outright.

    In theory, I could sell this website overnight and it would be a massive financial relief to me, especially as costs of living increase and more people experience economic hardship and debt-based living.

    These are difficult temptations I wrestle with. This world incentives short-term thinking and immediate rewards. I have to remind myself on a daily basis what my core values are.

    I imagine my life if I sold this website. Sure, it takes care of financial problems and it gives me more free time. I definitely have other goals and passions that I could put more energy into like music or screenwriting, but it’s also walking away from fifteen years of blood, sweat, and tears. That’s an emotional investment that is hard to rebuild with anything.

    Most importantly, there’s more work to do. I still have hundreds of ideas and drafts for future articles that I need to write and publish. There’s still more to say – and I feel like I’d be doing a disservice to the world if I didn’t say it.

    I look around the self help space today and believe my work still adds something special and valuable.

    Building an evergreen website

    Fifteen years isn’t that long compared to the timescale I’m thinking on.

    All of the content on this site is designed to be evergreen, so someone can read an article a hundred years into the future and still take something valuable from it. In contrast, the majority of content on the internet that is focused on news, pop culture, or current events is barely relevant after a week.

    From an intergenerational perspective, The Emotion Machine could be a website that exists long after my death if I can find someone to pass it down to as a successor at some point. I would love for it to be an ongoing project. Our tagline is “Self Improvement in the 21st Century” so I’m at least thinking on a one hundred year scale. I’ll have to remember to update that in 2100.

    To be completely honest, I’m proud of the work accomplished here so far, even when I feel it isn’t fully appreciated. This site has a vast library of articles, quizzes, and worksheets, and while I find that most people (including monthly members) don’t fully take advantage of these resources, I know they stand on their own as evergreen education for whomever is willing to learn.

    A lifetime commitment

    This article is a declaration to myself more than anything. It’s been a tough year so far and I needed to remind myself what really matters to me and why I invest my energy in the things I do. People like you also help keep me going, especially those that join and support this work. Thank you.


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • How to Create a Brand Philosophy Your Whole Team Believes In | Entrepreneur

    How to Create a Brand Philosophy Your Whole Team Believes In | Entrepreneur

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    The day after we finished training our staff for the new Ford’s Garage in Gainesville, Florida, a family appeared at the door. They thought we were open because they saw the team in the dining room. We could have told them to come back when the restaurant opened to the public, but instead, we invited them in, and they had a fantastic dining experience. That was in 2022, and they still come in as frequent guests.

    That’s just a great story of hospitality. It’s one of the “seven commitments” from our brand philosophy that our Gainesville team beautifully brought to life. By living our vision, they created guests for life, which shows the importance of getting your team on board with your brand philosophy.

    A company’s brand philosophy is often called the North Star, after an old-age technique used by early navigators traveling at sea. Like the ancient mariners who first steered their ships by it, you can help your team find their way with a well-thought-out vision that’s communicated to everyone and reinforced every day. It has to be something real, not just a poster on the wall in the break room, and it has to come to life through sharing stories like the Gainesville example.

    Related: If You Want Customers to Be Passionate About Your Brand, Follow These 10 Commandments

    By the numbers

    Our brand’s concept has always been about hospitality and fun. The restaurant was created to evoke a classic American service station, from the Ford Motor Company-inspired logo to the décor and menu; what’s NOT fun about that?

    Our goal was to personalize it for our unique vision, so we updated our brand philosophy to what we call “1-4-7”: one vision to “drive a unique dining experience,” four principles (people, products, performance and package, meaning the vibe and spirit), and seven commitments (integrity, quality, hospitality, excellence, teamwork, community and fun).

    It took a team of 16 from all company levels to develop our new philosophy. After senior leadership gave them the broad strokes of our overall vision, we hired an outside moderator to lead the effort. Every company I’ve worked at has turned to an outside expert for projects like this. You have to because your people will be so close to the brand that they may struggle to see what you’re trying to accomplish.

    The moderator led us through exercises to identify the principles and commitments, starting with a list of 57 and finally narrowing it down to seven. We talked about our identity as a hospitality business as opposed to a service business — and we probably spent three hours just on that.

    Now, in every decision we make, whether regarding building design or marketing imagery, we pull out the guide and ask if the new project measures up. Everything we do is put through the brand philosophy funnel.

    Related: This Is Why It’s So Important to Articulate Your Brand Values

    Taking it to the team

    Coming up with a brand philosophy doesn’t end when you’ve hammered it out and put it in writing. You have to coach your team so they put the ideas to work every day. It’s a constant process. You have to talk about it all the time, work it into team-building exercises, and measure new initiatives against it to make sure you stay aligned.

    No matter what industry you work in, a great way to start each morning is to gather your team together as a group. I’ve seen these occurring while walking into different retailers when the store opens for the day. At our company, we have a daily meeting called the “alley rally,” where we talk about what’s important that day: food specials, tasting menu items, and whatever’s new and notable. We like to tell stories about how someone on the team made one of our principles come to life the day before in their interaction with a guest.

    You should incorporate your brand philosophy into the hiring process, too. Within 30 seconds of talking to a candidate, you should know whether they “get you” and can bring your company vision to life. You look for eye contact and a friendly demeanor in a hospitality business. Do they smile? Do they talk about their family and friends? (We want people willing to share a little of themselves.) If they’re the guest, how do they want the staff to care for them, and can they provide the same caring approach?

    A brand philosophy must be something the whole team can support. It isn’t directed at guests, but if your team is living it, your guests will feel it in the way they’re treated when they walk through your door. You’ll feel it when they come back to get that positive experience again and again.

    Dave Ragosa

    Source link

  • Information Pollution: The Tragedy of the Commons and Well-Poisoning on the Internet

    Information Pollution: The Tragedy of the Commons and Well-Poisoning on the Internet

    Discover how the internet propagates “information pollution” and how it threatens our collective understanding of facts and truth. Here’s how to navigate the chaos and find clean water to drink.


    In a healthy and functional society, shared common resources are essential for the well-being and sustainability of the community.

    These resources can include natural goods such as land, water, and the environment, as well as man-made goods such as public schools, parks, and libraries.

    Generally, the ability to manage, sustain, and distribute these resources determines the success of a society, community, or nation as a whole.

    The Tragedy of the Commons

    The tragedy of the commons is a concept introduced by ecologist Garrett Hardin in 1968, describing a scenario where individuals, acting in their own self-interest, overuse and deplete a shared resource, ultimately harming the entire community.

    Classic examples include overgrazing on common land, overfishing in shared waters, and pollution of air and water. The key issue is that while the benefits of exploitation are enjoyed by individuals, the costs are distributed among the entire community.

    Information as a Shared Resource

    One common resource that is often neglected is news and information.

    Over the last century, newspapers, radio, TV, and the internet have become the lifeblood of many nations, shaping public opinion and collective consciousness.

    Truth and reliable information function as shared resources critical for various societal functions, including governance, public health, and social interaction.

    Just as a community depends on clean water, society relies on accurate information to make decisions, build trust, and maintain peace and harmony.

    When these information resources are polluted, the consequences can be severe, leading to mistrust, division, and poor decision-making.

    Information Pollution

    Information is a shared resource that is susceptible to degradation through neglect or deliberate actions, leading to a type of “information pollution.”

    This phenomenon mirrors the “tragedy of the commons,” where the self-interested actions of individuals can spoil a common resource for everyone.

    Information pollution occurs when false, misleading, or harmful information is introduced into the public discourse. This can happen through:

    • Misinformation: Incorrect or misleading information spread unintentionally.
    • Disinformation: False information spread deliberately to deceive.
    • Malinformation: Information that is true but presented in a misleading context to cause harm.

    All three types of information pollution hurt people’s ability to discern truth from fiction.

    Well-Poisoning on the Internet

    The internet can be a wonderful place to learn new things, but it’s also littered with information pollution, especially on social media sites filled with bots, spammers, and grifters.

    When a water well is poisoned, everyone in the town ends up drinking dirty and contaminated water. The same is true for information pollution on the internet – and social media is dirty water.

    There are a lot of factors that drive information pollution on the internet, but key ones include:

    • Clickbait and engagement farming – For most people, the only measure of success on the internet is how much attention you get. An outrageous lie or falsehood will get a million impressions before anyone tries to confirm what’s been said. People rarely correct themselves if a lie is getting them a lot of impressions.
    • Grifting and easy money – Many people see the internet as an opportunity for a quick buck, so a lot of content you see is purely money-driven, including advertisements, sponsored content, or superficial merchandise (mugs, t-shirts, diet supplements, brain enhancement pills, etc.) If you see anyone selling these types of products on the internet, you can be certain that truth is not their main motivation.
    • Bots and algorithm-hacking – Artificial engagement on the internet is a huge problem. A lot of viral content you see these days is pushed by bot farms and clever algorithm manipulation. Organic growth by independent thinkers and creators used to be a genuine thing about a decade ago, but most big e-celebrities and influencers you see today are completely astroturfed.
    • Politics and propaganda – A lot of misinformation and disinformation is politically driven propaganda. Governments and corporations are known to create their own bots and internet campaigns to shape public opinion in one direction or another.
    • Echo chambers and groupthink – While it’s natural to associate with people who think like us and share the same beliefs, the internet tends to heighten this tendency. People only spend time on online spaces that confirm their existing beliefs and very rarely seek out different perspectives.

    All of these factors make the internet a less reliable place for seeking truth and information. These phenomenon have only increased over the past decade, making the internet increasingly harmful and stupid (to be frank).

    Filtering Dirty Water

    Now more than ever we need to find ways to filter the information we are being exposed to online. Effective strategies you can employ include:

    • Pay attention to your digital environment – Ideas and information can often seep into our brain without us even realizing it, especially when we are consistently exposed to the same information over and over again. What are the top five websites you visit? Where do you go for news and current events? What’s your social media feed look like? All of these make up a part of your digital environment which is having an influence on you whether you realize it or not, so pay close attention to the types of online spaces you’re spending time in.
    • High value vs. low value information – Not all information is created equal. A random social media post that goes viral doesn’t have the same level of rigor as a peer-reviewed study. The information pyramid is a helpful guideline for assessing what information sources tend to be more trustworthy, accurate, and high value. Please note that this doesn’t mean a social media post is always wrong, or a scientific study is always right, just that one source tends to have more substance than another and you should generally give it more weight.
    • Be your own fact-checker – Too many people take funny memes, shocking screenshots, and catchy headlines at face value without ever digging deeper. This causes a lot of misinformation and disinformation to go viral, and it can also lead to some comical and embarrassing errors (“You actually believed that?!”). While there are many professional “fact checkers” on various sites, even those can be misleading and ideologically motivated. Unfortunately, in our low trust information world, there’s only one fact-checker you can really count on and that’s yourself. Learn how to double-check sources, dig up original links, and read full articles so you understand the context before accepting something as true.
    • Learn basic statistical literacy – Numbers can be very persuasive on a purely psychological level; if someone can make a claim with a statistic to back it, we tend to automatically think it must be true. However, statistics and graphs can be easily manipulated and deceptive. Understanding basic statistical literacy (such as knowing “correlation doesn’t mean causation,” or checking the “y” and “x” axis before looking at a graph) can give you a clearer idea of what a number is really telling you, and what is just being speculated, guessed, or misunderstood.
    • Beware of personality-driven consumption – Many people get their news and information from famous personalities such as news commentators, celebrities, influencers, or podcasters. While it’s natural to listen to people we like and trust, this can backfire when we end up mindlessly accepting information rather than confirming it on its own merit. For many, there’s an entertainment factor too: it’s fun to root for your “leader/clan” and make fun of the other “leaders/clans,” some people even form parasocial relationships with their favorite personalities, seeing them as a type of best friend. However, what often happens in these hyper personality-driven spaces is that they devolve into petty drama and gossip. That may be “fun” to participate in for some people, but it’s not education.

    If you keep these guidelines in mind, you’ll be able to navigate the dirty waters of the internet more effectively and hopefully find some springs of fresh and clean water to drink from.

    Conclusion

    Truth and reliable information are vital commons that underpin a healthy and functional society. Just as communities must manage natural resources responsibly to avoid the tragedy of the commons, societies must actively protect and nurture the integrity of their information ecosystems. Each of us plays a role in managing the information commons and minimizing information pollution.


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • Trader vs. Hero Mindset: Why A Healthy Society Needs Both

    Trader vs. Hero Mindset: Why A Healthy Society Needs Both


    Do you see yourself as more of a “trader” or a “hero?” Learn about these two distinct mindsets, and understand how balancing moral duty and economic ambition can lead to a more harmonious and sustainable future for humanity.


    The hero mindset vs. the trader mindset are two distinct ways people see their roles and responsibilities in a healthy society.

    Each one focuses on different values and priorities, but a balance of both is often needed for a society to function and flourish.

    Here’s an outline of what defines each mindset.

    Trader Mindset

    The trader mindset dominates our current culture. It places emphasis on individualism, material gain, and personal freedom. This mentality often asks, “What can life give me?” and is driven by the pursuit of happiness, pleasure, and profit.

    It’s especially characteristic of American life and contemporary Western thinking, where people tend to see their value only in terms of economic or material output: “What do you do for a living? How much money do you make? How big is your house?”

    Key attributes of the trader mindset include:

    • Rights-Oriented: The trader mindset focuses on personal rights and freedoms, operating on the principle of doing what one wants as long as it doesn’t harm others.
    • Materialism: The trader mindset is materialistic and money-driven, placing a high value on comfort, pleasure, and luxury.
    • Individualism: The trader mindset is competitive, individualistic, and often sees life as a series of transactions aimed at maximizing personal advantage rather than collective well-being.
    • Utilitarian Approach: They adopt a business-minded and utilitarian perspective, often focusing on what is pragmatic and realistic, rater than engaging in abstract and idealistic goals.
    • Status Climbing: Traders often strive for increased status, wealth, or power, engaging in frequent social comparison, and viewing most aspects of life as a social ladder to climb.

    The trader mindset is a product of liberal and Enlightenment philosophy, reflecting the values of individual rights and free market capitalism. It promotes a “mind your own business” attitude which emphasizes personal freedom and the pursuit of happiness, but can also lack a sense of social duty.

    In excess, the trader mindset can lead to negative behaviors such as excessive swindling, grifting, corruption, and fraudulent schemes. People become willing to seek material gain at any moral cost, believing that everyone is inherently greedy and selfish, thus creating a “dog eat dog” world.

    Hero Mindset

    The hero mindset is less common and in many ways it’s more needed in our current society.

    The heroic mindset is characterized by a focus on duty, sacrifice, and the greater good. Those with this mentality often ask, “What can I give to life?” rather than “What can life give me?” This approach emphasizes responsibilities over rights and prioritizes the well-being of others over personal gain.

    Key attributes of the hero mindset include:

    • Duties-Oriented: Heroes feel a strong sense of duty and responsibility toward others and society. They ask themselves how they can best serve their family, community, nation, or humanity as a whole.
    • Idealism: The hero mindset seeks higher ideals than just status or wealth, such as honor, loyalty, and devotion to a higher purpose, striving to do what is right at all costs, even if it means facing death.
    • Collectivism: The hero mindset is communitarian-minded, often emerging in contexts like the military, team sports, or tight-knit organizations where serving a greater whole is paramount.
    • Warrior Spirit: Heroes embrace challenges and are willing to sacrifice their comfort and security for the common good, embodying a warrior mindset that values moral and spiritual achievements over material ones. The hero isn’t afraid to ask, “What am I willing to die for?”
    • Leadership and Accountability: Heroes are willing to stand up and take charge when no one else will. This means assuming leadership roles and taking risks, as well as accepting blame and responsibility when things go wrong.

    In essence, the heroic mindset is about fighting for something greater than oneself.

    Heroes can take many different forms. It’s not only about sacrificing yourself on a battlefield or saving a child from a burning house. Being a hero can also mean dedicating your life to a social cause, being a leader in your local community, taking care of your family, or creating more beauty in the world through art or music.

    While the heroic mindset can lead to noble actions, in excess it can also result in zealotry, self-destructive martyrdom, or an inflexible approach to moral issues. Extreme idealism might push individuals to pursue their goals without considering practical consequences, potentially leading to conflict and alienation.

    Balancing the Mindsets

    Ultimately, both the hero and trader mindsets offer valuable insights into different motivations behind our behaviors and life choices. While the heroic mindset emphasizes sacrifice, duty, and the greater good, the trader mindset focuses on personal gain, freedom, and material success.

    A healthy and sustainable society needs both traders and heroes. A society run solely by traders may prioritize profit over moral values, leading to widespread corruption and a lack of social responsibility. On the other hand, a society with only a heroic mindset might struggle with practicality and flexibility, leading to social conflicts and unrest.

    Striking a balance between these mindsets can help us achieve a harmonious approach to personal fulfillment and social responsibility, creating a society that values both individual rights and communal well-being.


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • Deathbed Motivation: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

    Deathbed Motivation: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

    If you were on your deathbed right now, what would your biggest regrets be? The answer can change the way you decide to live the rest of your life.


    Thinking about death can change how we live our lives. Our time on Earth is limited, and this realization can completely shift our perspective. It puts our real values and priorities into sharp focus, causing us to step back and re-evaluate if we are living our current lives in the best way possible.

    When I was going through a period of depression in college, I would take the bus to the local cemetery by myself with nothing but my camera. I’ve always been comfortable with solitude and doing things alone, but these cemetery walks were an especially meaningful and humbling experience for me. Walking among the graves and reading the names of people I’d never know showed me that life is much bigger than my ego. The realization that death is a necessary part of life sparked me to reevaluate and see the bigger picture behind my choices and actions.

    These cemetery walks were a powerful reminder that I would be dead one day too – but not yet – and that filled me with a sense of power and responsibility so long as I’m still breathing.

    How people think about death can have a profound effect on their psychology. Some people face the prospect of mortality by ignoring it and engaging in escapist behaviors driven by materialism (“buy more things”) or hedonism (“seek more pleasure”). Others embrace the prospect of death and recognize that it means they need to make the most of their time here before it’s too late.

    In the popular book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, Bronnie Ware documents her experiences in palliative care, working closely with those who had terminal illnesses or were approaching the end-of-life. She identified five main regrets of the dying based on conversations and confessions with those on their deathbeds.

    This article will outline her main findings along with my personal thoughts on each one.

    Deathbed Motivation: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

    According to Bronnie Ware, the five most common regrets shared by people nearing death were:

    “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

    It’s cliché but true: you only have one life to live.

    Many people cave to social pressures to choose paths in life that are expected of them, such as what school to attend, or what career to pursue, or what types of relationships to cultivate. However, what brings one person happiness isn’t necessarily what brings another person happiness. If we only try to make others happy, we often end up neglecting our own needs, wants, passions, and ideals.

    Understanding your core values is one of the most important steps you can take in life. Knowing what you really want will help you make choices that are harmonious with what you really care about, not just what you think you “should do” or “ought to do.” One interesting study published in the journal Emotions found that our most enduring and long-lasting regrets are usually “ideal-related,” such as personal goals and aspirations.

    Our biggest regrets are often the things we didn’t do but always wanted to, like starting a rock band, or writing a book, or traveling to a place we always wanted to visit.

    “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”

    Most people don’t lay on their deathbeds thinking, “I wish I spent more time at my job.”

    Work is important and it can be fulfilling, but many people in today’s world become myopically focused on advancing in their jobs/careers or making more money by any means necessary (sometimes even in unhealthy, destructive, or unethical ways).

    We wrongly believe that wealth is the only real measure of value in life, and thus we get distracted from other important things like spending more time with family, taking care of our health, giving back to our community, or pursuing personal passions.

    In our materialistic and consumerist culture, nothing seems more important than “working hard” and “making money,” but as the saying goes, “You can’t take it with you when you die.”

    “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”

    We often have trouble expressing our true feelings toward people because we see emotions as weakness or we don’t want to risk being vulnerable.

    This is especially true when it comes to feelings of love, gratitude, and appreciation. There are some families, cultures, and couples where it’s rare to hear the words, “I love you,” or “I appreciate you.” The feelings are taken for granted, but they are never explicitly said.

    It’s important that we learn to express love and appreciation toward others while we still can (including toward family, friends, loved ones, or mentors), because we will often regret it if we miss our chance.

    Recently I wrote my mom a thank you letter for her birthday. It helped me communicate a lot of feelings that I’ve always had but were difficult to say out-loud. It felt like an emotional weight was lifted off my shoulders once I finally expressed my tremendous gratitude for her and everything she’s done for me.

    There are also people I’ve lost in life whom I was never able to tell that I appreciated them. Those are regrets I’ll have to live with – the crucial lesson is don’t miss the opportunity to tell people you love them while you still can.

    “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”

    One common theme in life is that relationships come and go.

    Our circle of friends often changes dramatically throughout high school, college, and into adulthood, especially when we move to new places or leave our hometowns. We tend to lose touch with people over time. Those who were once “best friends” we now go years without even speaking to.

    In theory, it’s easier to stay in touch with people now more than ever; old friends and family are just a call, text, or email away, yet we rarely take advantage of these opportunities.

    It’s never too late to check in on past connections. It can seem awkward at first to reach out to those we haven’t seen in years, but often they will appreciate the gesture and you both will enjoy reconnecting and reminiscing about your shared past.

    The simple act of checking in on people on a regular basis (such as holidays, birthdays, reunions, etc.) can preserve our social connections over time and remind us all the positive relationships and social support we have. Each person you stay in touch with is another layer of meaning in your life.

    “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

    People are too busy these days to be happy.

    We get easily trapped in the hustle and bustle of daily life with work, school, chores, family, and other responsibilities and obligations. In the midst of all this, many forget the simple art of stepping back and finding happiness in the moment.

    You don’t need to wait for something life-changing to be happy. Many people don’t realize that happiness is in their control and you can start finding it in little things, like savoring positive experiences, counting your blessings, having things to look forward to, and prioritizing positive activities. These are habits that are available to anyone no matter what their current situation is in life. You don’t need to be rich or famous; in fact, sometimes those people are the most distracted and least happy.

    If happiness is a skill, then it’s something that’s worth learning. It isn’t magic, it’s a direct result of how you think, act, and view your world.

    The Time That Remains

    If you are reading this right now, then you still have power over how you live the rest of your life. Every new breath is a symbol of this power.

    Which of the big five regrets do you relate to the most? Living too much by other people’s expectations, focusing too much on work, not communicating your true feelings, losing touch with old friends and family, or simply not finding time for more happiness?

    These are important questions worth reflecting on. Take a moment to imagine yourself on your deathbed, which regrets would hurt the most? What can you still do about it?


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • The Pebble In Your Shoe: Tiny Frustrations That Can Ruin Your Day

    The Pebble In Your Shoe: Tiny Frustrations That Can Ruin Your Day

    The “pebble in your shoe” metaphor perfectly describes how small annoyances can slowly wear you down and ruin your day. Here are common pebbles that might be in your shoe and the best ways to remove them.



    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, but no one said you had to wear uncomfortable shoes

    If you’ve ever been on a long hike, then you know the importance of comfort and how even one minor annoyance can make the whole journey far more difficult. You walk for miles and miles then suddenly experience an intense pain in your foot. You sit down, remove your shoe, and find a hard rock tightly wedged between your sweaty socks and shoe leather – ouch!

    “It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out – it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.”

    This is a popular motivational quote that is commonly attributed to the famous boxer Muhammad Ali, but the original has been published as far back as 1916 under anonymous authors.

    The main idea is that even when it comes to huge goals, it’s often the tiniest things that hold us back and prevent us from accomplishing them. These minor annoyances may seem inconsequential at first, but over time they can cause significant discomfort, irritation, and weakness.

    What pebbles are in your shoe? What’s one small change that would make your life infinitely easier? Here’s a list of everyday examples of tiny things that may be holding you back.

    Everyday Examples of “The Pebble in Your Shoe”

    The “pebble in your shoe” can take many forms — physical, mental, social, and emotional. It can be any small discomfort that grows into a bigger problem over time.

    Here’s a list of common everyday examples with potential solutions for each one. Often times the sooner you remove the pebble, the easier things will be in the future.



    Workplace Annoyance – A colleague’s constant habit of humming or tapping their pen can be a minor distraction that becomes increasingly irritating over time.

    Solution: Mention your distraction in a nonjudgmental way without getting upset at the other person. Hopefully they will be more mindful in the future.



    Messy Environment – Messy environments can have a subtle but significant effect on our stress levels and clarity of mind, especially a messy bedroom or car.

    Solution: We often underestimate how much better we will feel once we clean something. We put off washing the car for weeks, then when we finally do it we think, “Why didn’t I do this weeks ago?”



    Losing One Hour of Sleep – Just losing one hour of sleep can have a spillover effect on the rest of your day, causing you to be more tired, distracted, and moody.

    Solution: Try to go to bed one hour early. Set up a nighttime routine that encourages relaxation. Find sleeping preferences that work best for you (temperature, clothes, pillows, etc.) Establish a consistent sleep routine that works for you.



    Procrastinating on To-Do’s – The more you put off daily chores or obligations, the more pressing and stressful they become.

    Solution: Cultivate a healthy sense of urgency toward easy tasks you can complete in 5 minutes or less. It’s easier to just get a simple task out of the way then to let it sit in your mind for days.



    Minor Health Issues – Dealing with ongoing but minor health issues like a slight headache, back pain, or seasonal allergies can be a constant, low-level irritation.

    Solution: Plan day accordingly. Take any doctor recommended medications or supplements. Let people know if you’re having an especially bad day, so you may be more cranky than usual.



    Negative Personalities – People with negative personalities who constantly nitpick, complain, and talk about problems too much can be draining to be around for extended periods of time.

    Solution: We’re influenced by the people we choose to be around through emotional contagion and network effects. If those you spend time around tend to bring out the worst in you, it may be time to find a new group of friends or environment.



    Long Lines and Wait Times – Waiting in long lines at the grocery store, DMV, or for public transportation can be a persistent and annoying part of daily life.

    Solution: If possible, go to places during times of the day/week when you know they are less busy. Check to see real-time traffic on Google and plan accordingly. Consider getting groceries delivered.



    Tech Glitches – Regularly experiencing minor technical problems with gadgets, such as a phone that frequently freezes or a laptop with a temperamental battery, can be very frustrating.

    Solution: When possible, fix or replace faulty tech that causes daily errors and frustrations. For awhile my keyboard had a couple broken keys, and it took me far too long to finally get a new one that operated way smoother.



    Spam Calls and Emails – Receiving numerous unwanted telemarketing calls or spam emails can interrupt daily activities and become a persistent nuisance.

    Solution: Immediately block and remove all spam numbers and emails. Set up caller ID, email filters, and other methods to block spam and advertisements from reaching you.



    Misplaced Items – Frequently losing keys, glasses, or other essential items can create a recurring source of irritation and delay.

    Solution: Dedicate a single place for certain items. Don’t take them off your person unless you are placing the item in its designated spot.



    Household Chores – Small but recurring tasks like taking out the trash, doing the dishes, or folding laundry can feel like never-ending, nagging obligations.

    Solution: Get small and easy tasks out of the way early and often. Learn the right mindset for doing things you don’t like, including listening to music or watching TV while doing something boring or tedious.


    Repetitive Noises – Ongoing construction noise, a neighbor’s loud music, or people talking loudly can be minor disturbances that cumulatively cause significant discomfort and distraction.

    Solution: When possible, block out unwanted noise with headphones, music, or white noise. Find ways to eliminate distractions by changing your environment.



    Traffic Jams – Regularly encountering heavy traffic during commutes can be a daily irritant that wastes time and increases stress levels.

    Solution: Do some research and find the best and fastest routes during certain times of the day. Have plenty of music or entertaining podcasts you can listen to if you get stuck in traffic.



    Uncomfortable Room Temperature – Hot and humid temperatures can make us feel tired and lethargic, hurting our ability to concentrate and get work done.

    Solution: Use fans and air conditioner to cool down. Open windows for ventilation. Wear light and breathable clothing. Stay hydrated and drink plenty of water.



    Constant Notifications – Continuous alerts and notifications from apps, emails, or social media can disrupt concentration and productivity, becoming a persistent annoyance throughout the day.

    Solution: Block or mute ALL notifications that aren’t urgent (texts/calls from family or friends). Create a digital environment that doesn’t have you on hyper alert 24/7.

    Removing the “Pebble in Your Shoe”

    In general, identifying and removing the pebbles in your shoe can make your life a whole lot easier. Here are core principles to keep in mind:

    • Identify the Issue Early – Recognize and acknowledge the small issue that’s causing the discomfort. This requires paying extra attention to your environment and how it influences your mental state. A less mindful person may be in a state of constant annoyance but not able to pinpoint the source of it. Try to be more aware of shifts in your mood and what spurs them.
    • Take Action – Take steps to address and resolve the issue as soon as possible. Often the sooner you take measures to correct something, the easier it will be to fix. This could mean having a conversation with a colleague, fixing a technical problem as soon as you spot it, or getting a quick chore out of the way as soon as you remember it.
    • Prevent Recurrence – Implement measures to prevent similar issues from arising in the future, such as setting up a more ergonomic workspace, creating healthy boundaries at work or home, scheduling daily chores and regular maintenance checks, or planning your day around avoidable inconveniences.

    Remember that pebbles can take many forms which aren’t mentioned here. Take the time to step back, reflect, and ask yourself, “What are the pebbles in my shoe that can be removed?”

    Conclusion

    Of course, life can be annoying and we can’t always remove every single pebble.

    Certain problems, frustrations, and stressors are just a part of everyday life – a nosy coworker, a loud neighborhood, reporting for jury duty, or the minor inconveniences of daily chores and responsibilities.

    When you can’t control something, try to accept it with grace. After difficult days, feel free to go back to your comfort zone to recharge yourself.

    The key lesson behind the “remove the pebble” philosophy isn’t that life should always be a cakewalk, but that we shouldn’t make life any harder than it needs to be.


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • Paradigm Shifts: A Complete Change in Worldview

    Paradigm Shifts: A Complete Change in Worldview

    Discover the power of paradigm shifts in driving individual and societal transformation, from overcoming cognitive dissonance to fueling scientific revolutions.


    When’s the last time you changed your mind about something?

    Many people are stuck in their beliefs and worldview, especially once we reach a certain age. Our map of reality is shaped most by early life experiences, including lessons we’ve learned from parents, teachers, and friends.

    A worldview can be hard to break out of on a purely psychological level.

    Once we are set in a view, we seek new information that continues to confirm these beliefs by only looking at sources that already agree with us. When new information contradicts these beliefs, we can easily ignore it or distort it to keep our map of reality intact.

    Accepting that we are wrong about something can be hurtful to our ego and pride, and in many ways our brains are designed to protect ourselves from this discomfort by simply ignoring contradictory information unless it has a real world effect on our lives. As Philip K. Dick once said, “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.”

    The average person isn’t primarily driven by a search for truth, they just need a map of reality that is good enough to navigate their lives effectively and not get themselves into too much trouble, which includes social pressures to conform to certain beliefs or stay silent about others.

    People can go through radical changes in beliefs though. Young adults and teenagers may go through “phases” as they come-of-age, where they question what they’ve been taught, rebel against orthodoxy, and search for their own meaning or purpose in life. These transformative years can lead to paradigm shifts that last a lifetime, such as adherence to new political, religious, or philosophical ideologies. Many may still return to their old beliefs later in life, but with a fresh new perspective.

    Learning about a new worldview, ideology, or philosophy doesn’t mean you need to adopt it – and it doesn’t necessarily lead to a paradigm shift. Often times learning about radically different belief systems can give us a firmer understanding of our current beliefs. There’s wisdom in learning about worldviews you find wrong, mistaken, or incorrect; at the very least, it will give you a better understanding of where other people are coming from.

    Paradigm shifts aren’t just new or updated knowledge, they represent a complete change in your perspective that makes you see and interpret old knowledge in a different way.

    This shift in perspective can be jolting and uncomfortable at first. We depend on worldviews to make sense of reality, so deep changes in perspective can often make reality feel more confusing or unstable at first.

    We often need to re-evaluate old knowledge and experiences through a new lens, and re-integrate them into a new and better map of reality. This is a mental shift that can sometimes take months or years before it is fully developed.

    My Paradigm Shifts

    My mind has changed a lot over the past decade, which hopefully is a sign that I’m learning and growing. When I first started this website over 15 years ago, my worldview was very different than what it is today.

    A few ways my mindset has changed:

    • Less Individualistic – During my college years, I explored a lot of libertarian philosophy that emphasized the individual over the collective. This is a common starting point in many “self help” circles too, which have an ethos of “take responsibility” and “pull yourself up by your boot straps.” While I still believe strongly in individual responsibility and initiative, I’ve grown to recognize the “no man is an island” mantra and focus more on the importance of social support, community-mindedness, and asking for help. This understanding has led to changes in my political and economic views too.
    • Less Materialistic and Money-Focused – It’s a bit embarrassing looking back on it, but I used to want to be rich and famous. I think a lot of it is just part of America’s narcissistic culture, where everyone strives to become some type of celebrity. As I get older, I’ve discovered new core values that have helped me focus on the more important things in life. I’ve also learned that a lot of my drive for money was really a drive for independence, and those aren’t the same thing. A person can make a lot of money and be trapped in their career to sustain their luxurious lifestyle, but a person of more modest fortune, who can be happy with less, often has more independence because they can then focus on other things in life. That was a counter-intuitive idea for me that took awhile to process.
    • Focus on Social and Cultural Forces – When I was younger, and likely a product of my libertarian days, I used to focus more on the importance of economics rather than culture. Generally, I saw things like music, art, and film as just a peripheral aspect of society, but now I’m beginning to understand their central importance. Every culture reflects and propagates a certain set of values, and a culture that promotes harmful and destructive values will lead to a harmful and destructive society. When I look at today’s world, I see a lot of cultural forces going in the wrong direction. I’m not pro-censorship in anyway, but I find many aspects of our culture need to be analyzed, criticized, and abandoned if they are hurting the happiness and health of a people.

    This is how my mindset has shifted over the years – and my mind will likely keep changing as long as I stay open to new information, new knowledge, and new experiences. At this point, most of my learning has happened outside of school and that’s a path I will continue on for the rest of my life.

    The Structure of Scientific Revolutions

    One of the most popular discussions on the topic of paradigm shifts is Thomas Kuhn’s 1962 book
    The Structure of Scientific Revolutions.

    Kuhn describes that scientific progress isn’t just an accumulation of facts, which he calls “normal science,” but also periods of “revolutionary science,” where anomalies are discovered that force scientists to look at a field in a completely new way.

    Common examples of paradigm shifts in science include:

    • The Copernican Revolution in the 16th century, where there was a change from geocentrism (“earth is the center of the universe”) to heliocentrism (“sun is the center of the solar system”)
    • Newtonian Physics in the 17th century, where classical mechanics discovered by Isaac Newton replaced previous models of Aristotelian physics.
    • Darwin’s theory of evolution and natural selection in the 19th century, which changed how humans viewed themselves in relation to animals and nature.

    Often there is initial resistance to accept new paradigms, which can go through heated periods of controversy and criticism among contemporary scientists and laymen.

    However, once these new paradigms were adopted, they allowed for research and discoveries into new phenomenon which ultimately expanded the boundaries of science and learning.

    New paradigms completely change how a scientific field is looked at. Thomas Kuhn used the example of the duck-rabbit optical illusion to demonstrate how new paradigms can change how we see old information:

    duck-rabbit optical illusion

    A duck or rabbit? It depends on your perspective.

    New paradigms can take awhile to be fully adopted. Old facts need to be looked at through a new lens. New books, research, studies, lectures, and textbooks need to be re-written from this new perspective, leading to a type of cognitive restructuring of society. The philosopher Immanuel Kant referred to the advancements of Greek mathematics and Newtonian physics as “revolutions in thinking,” and they take time to process.

    Generally, new scientific paradigms are better than old ones because they have more explanatory power over understanding natural phenomenon and predicting future outcomes.

    The best measure of scientific truth is its predictive power: if a new paradigm fails to better explain or predict a natural occurrence over a previous paradigm, then there’s no real point in replacing the old model (from a scientific perspective).

    Paradigm Shifts: An Antidote to Cognitive Dissonance

    Paradigm shifts are spurred on when new facts don’t fit into old worldviews. This leads to feelings of cognitive dissonance which is when someone is forced to hold two contradictory beliefs at the same time.

    Often the only way to reconcile this disconnect between facts vs. experience is to find a completely new paradigm that accounts for all old and new knowledge. This may require recognizing wrong or mistaken beliefs from your past, or cultivating a worldview with more complexity and nuance.

    Cognitive dissonance is a painful experience that most people choose to ignore or avoid. Many people double-down on wrong beliefs when they are passionately invested in them, which leads to excessive confirmation bias and conspiracy theories when beliefs continue to be held unchecked.

    At the same time, cognitive dissonance can be a catalyst for change – it’s a signal that we need to adjust our understanding of reality. This can become a real avenue for transformative thinking as long as you are honest with yourself, seek out diverse sources of information, and open-minded enough to see things in a new light.

    Conclusion

    Paradigm shifts are a part of learning and growing on both an individual and societal level. They are necessary for both radical self-improvement and radical scientific progress.

    While it’s important not to “change your mind just for the sake of changing your mind,” honest searches for knowledge and truth inevitably come up against walls that require a paradigm shift to get over and move onto the next stage.


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • Peter Van Ness writes a new life chapter

    Peter Van Ness writes a new life chapter

    Former Gloucester resident Peter Van Ness’s debut novel, a tech thriller called “The Faithful” has arrived, and it is very ambitious indeed.

    Van Ness, who now lives in Florida, says he has always been fascinated by the intersection of science and spirituality/religion. Add to that the confluence of 21st century technology, and you are inside the mind of John Welles, a brilliant and ambitious MIT graduate who is not just the central character but absolutely central to the novel, as much of the book takes place in his mind.

    We first meet John when, as a precocious and curious child, he questions the very existence of reality. Little John recalls in a first-person introductory narrative that he observes the world as a place he can only think to call “pretend.” He can escape it by entering a secret portal in the hallway into infinity where he can time travel at will.

    As the son of a prominent Presbyterian minister, Van Ness himself developed an early interest in spirituality and religion, and their link to the metaphysical. Likewise, as a natural math whiz, science was second nature to him. His mind, he says, was ready made for the 21st century, and his tech resume began in high school when he programed computers connected to the ARPANET, the first operational computer network that became the foundation of the modern internet. Later, he’d go on to co-found a software company “that made his investors rich.”

    Anyone who knows Van Ness from his entrepreneurial 25 years in Gloucester, knows he marches to his own drum. He skipped college, and became a student of world religions, with a special inclination toward Buddhism.

    All of this — science, technology, religion, spirituality, mysticism, not to mention Van Ness’s passion for music — comes home to roost in “The Faithful,” as John’s tech brilliance gets him and his equally brilliant girlfriend Emily swept up in a struggle between two opposing secret religious sects, the Faithful versus the Disciples.

    Van Ness describes “The Faithful” sect as representing those wanting “to protect people from all the dangers of the world. They are absolutely sure they are right and committed to their mission, whatever it takes.” The Disciples, on the other hand, “are endlessly curious, seek adventure … constantly question whether they are doing the right thing, and are always adjusting their plans to adapt to current conditions.”

    When John and Emily stumble upon evidence of an undiscovered energy field that is, to make a long story short, the key to life itself, they become targets of an ensuing Dan Brownish conspiracy reminiscent of a high tech “The Da Vinci Code,” plunging the reader “into the minds and psyches of the couple as they each embark on a personal journey of self-discovery.”

    Ten years in the writing, “The Faithful” evolved with today’s rapidly changing technology and came to include new advances in artificial intelligence. Suffice to say, this is not a tale for tech luddites. But is you are a 21st century digital citizen, then fasten your seatbelts, you’re in for a ride.

    Tech aside, at its heart, “The Faithful” remains deeply humanitarian, even romantic. John, like Van Ness himself, loves music, and music weaves its magic throughout “The Faithful.” John hears it in everything, including the glug, glug, glug of fine wine decanting. Then there is “the maestro” — a beloved conductor revered by his musical students, one of whom is John. Van Ness creates in the relationship between the maestro and his students what sounded to this reader as a metaphor for the relationship between the all-seeing God orchestrating life itself.

    Van Ness, who, with his wife Vicky, was well known in Gloucester as a mover and shaker in downtown community creative and cultural initiatives. From the summer block parties to Discover Gloucester, they were on the launching pads. But they were best known as promoters of local live music. As founders of Gimme Music and Beverly’s “intimate listening room” 9 Wallis, they were — until the COVID-19 pandemic hit — major players on the North Shore’s live music scene.

    One door closes, another opens. In his new home in Florida, Van Ness says he loves swimming daily in the ocean. and as anyone who knows him will not be surprised to hear, in between riding the waves, he’s already writing a sequel. Stay tuned.

    Joann Mackenzie may be contacted at 978-675-2707 or jmackenzie@northofboston.com.

    By Joann Mackenzie | Staff Writer

    Source link

  • Nick Bostrom Made the World Fear AI. Now He Asks: What if It Fixes Everything?

    Nick Bostrom Made the World Fear AI. Now He Asks: What if It Fixes Everything?

    Philosopher Nick Bostrom is surprisingly cheerful for someone who has spent so much time worrying about ways that humanity might destroy itself. In photographs he often looks deadly serious, perhaps appropriately haunted by the existential dangers roaming around his brain. When we talk over Zoom, he looks relaxed and is smiling.

    Bostrom has made it his life’s work to ponder far-off technological advancement and existential risks to humanity. With the publication of his last book, Superintelligence: Paths, Dangers, Strategies, in 2014, Bostrom drew public attention to what was then a fringe idea—that AI would advance to a point where it might turn against and delete humanity.

    To many in and outside of AI research the idea seemed fanciful, but influential figures including Elon Musk cited Bostrom’s writing. The book set a strand of apocalyptic worry about AI smoldering that recently flared up following the arrival of ChatGPT. Concern about AI risk is not just mainstream but also a theme within government AI policy circles.

    Bostrom’s new book takes a very different tack. Rather than play the doomy hits, Deep Utopia: Life and Meaning in a Solved World, considers a future in which humanity has successfully developed superintelligent machines but averted disaster. All disease has been ended and humans can live indefinitely in infinite abundance. Bostrom’s book examines what meaning there would be in life inside a techno-utopia, and asks if it might be rather hollow. He spoke with WIRED over Zoom, in a conversation that has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

    Will Knight: Why switch from writing about superintelligent AI threatening humanity to considering a future in which it’s used to do good?

    Nick Bostrom: The various things that could go wrong with the development of AI are now receiving a lot more attention. It’s a big shift in the last 10 years. Now all the leading frontier AI labs have research groups trying to develop scalable alignment methods. And in the last couple of years also, we see political leaders starting to pay attention to AI.

    There hasn’t yet been a commensurate increase in depth and sophistication in terms of thinking of where things go if we don’t fall into one of these pits. Thinking has been quite superficial on the topic.

    When you wrote Superintelligence, few would have expected existential AI risks to become a mainstream debate so quickly. Will we need to worry about the problems in your new book sooner than people might think?

    As we start to see automation roll out, assuming progress continues, then I think these conversations will start to happen and eventually deepen.

    Social companion applications will become increasingly prominent. People will have all sorts of different views and it’s a great place to maybe have a little culture war. It could be great for people who couldn’t find fulfillment in ordinary life but what if there is a segment of the population that takes pleasure in being abusive to them?

    In the political and information spheres we could see the use of AI in political campaigns, marketing, automated propaganda systems. But if we have a sufficient level of wisdom these things could really amplify our ability to sort of be constructive democratic citizens, with individual advice explaining what policy proposals mean for you. There will be a whole bunch of dynamics for society.

    Would a future in which AI has solved many problems, like climate change, disease, and the need to work, really be so bad?

    Will Knight

    Source link

  • The Immovable Mind: Schopenhauer’s Daily Routine For 27 Years

    The Immovable Mind: Schopenhauer’s Daily Routine For 27 Years


    What does the daily life of a legendary philosopher look like? Learn about Arthur Schopenhauer’s unique routine that he consistently followed for over 27 years.


    Arthur Schopenhauer was a major figure in German philosophy throughout the 19th century along with Friedrich Nietzsche and Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.

    While he’s known for his pessimism and negative outlook on life, there’s no denying that Schopenhauer was an intellectual powerhouse of his time who influenced many great thinkers, philosophers, and artists long after his death.

    His book Essays and Aphorisms is a great introduction and overview of his philosophical ideas. It explains his core metaphysical belief of “world as appearance,” continuing the legacy of other idealist philosophers like Plato, Kant, and Indian philosophy, which warn about viewing the world strictly through a materialist lens.

    The beginning of the book provides a nice biography of Schopenhauer’s family background, education, and life history. There’s one interesting section on his daily routine that caught my attention and wanted to share; it’s always fascinating to gain insights into the habits and lifestyles of influential figures, especially potential role models we can emulate and borrow from.

    This specific routine characterizes the last third of Schopenhauer’s life:

      “From the age of 45 until his death 27 years later Schopenhauer lived in Frankfurt-am-Main. He lived alone… every day for 27 years he followed an identical routine.”

    Keep in mind, I’m only sharing this for educational purposes. I don’t necessarily recommend this way of living, but there are interesting lessons to takeaway from it, including how some of these habits relate to Schopenhauer’s overall philosophy.

    Arthur Schopenhauer’s Daily Routine

    Here’s a breakdown of Schopenhauer’s daily routine for the last 27 years of his life:

    • “He rose every morning at seven and had a bath but no breakfast;
    • He drank a cup of strong coffee before sitting down at his desk and writing until noon.
    • At noon he ceased work for the day and spent half-an-hour practicing the flute, on which he became quite a skilled performer.
    • Then he went out to lunch at the Englischer Hof.
    • After lunch he returned home and read until four, when he left for his daily walk:
    • He walked for two hours no matter what the weather.
    • At six o’clock, he visited the reading room of the library and read The Times.
    • In the evening he attended the theatre or a concert, after which he had dinner at a hotel or restaurant.
    • He got back home between nine and ten and went early to bed.”

    While Schopenhauer mostly kept to this strict routine unwaveringly, he was willing to make exceptions under specials circumstances such as if he had friends or visitors in town.

    Key Lessons and Takeaways

    This daily routine seems fitting for a solitary and introspective philosopher, but there are key lessons that fit with conventional self-improvement wisdom:

    • Early Rising: Schopenhauer started his day at 7 a.m., which aligns with the common advice of many successful individuals who advocate for early rising. This morning ritual is often associated with increased productivity and a sense of discipline.
    • No Breakfast: Skipping breakfast was part of Schopenhauer’s routine. While not everyone agrees with this approach, it resonates with intermittent fasting principles that some find beneficial for health and mental clarity.
    • Work Routine: Schopenhauer dedicated his mornings to work, writing until noon. This emphasizes the importance of having a focused and dedicated period for intellectual or creative work, especially early in the day.
    • Creative Break: Taking a break to practice the flute for half an hour after work highlights the value of incorporating creative or leisure activities into one’s routine. It can serve as a refreshing break and contribute to overall well-being.
    • Outdoor Exercise: Schopenhauer’s daily two-hour walk, regardless of the weather, emphasizes the significance of outdoor exercise for both physical and mental health. This practice aligns with contemporary views on the benefits of regular physical activity and spending time in nature.
    • Reading Habit: Schopenhauer spent time reading each day, reflecting his commitment to continuous learning and intellectual stimulation.
    • News Consumption: Reading The Times at the library suggests Schopenhauer valued staying informed about current events. It’s worth noting that he limited his news consumption to a specific time of day (but it was easier to restrict your information diet before the internet).
    • Cultural Engagement: Attending the theater or a concert in the evening indicates a commitment to cultural engagement and a balanced lifestyle.
    • Regular Bedtime: Going to bed early reflects an understanding of the importance of sufficient sleep for overall health and well-being.

    While Schopenhauer’s routine may not be suitable for everyone, there are elements of discipline, balance, and engagement with various aspects of life that individuals may find inspiring or applicable to their own lifestyles.

    The Immovable Mind

    Schopenhauer was known for his persistence and stubbornness – his consistent daily routine is just one manifestation of this.

    He wrote his magnum opus The World as Will and Representation in 1818 when he was only 28 years old, and he never fundamentally changed his views despite continuing to write and publish until his death at 72.

    Schopenhauer has been described as an “immovable mind,” never letting himself deviate from the course he was set out on.

    His two hour walk routine in any weather is one of the most popular examples of this. From the biography in the book:

      “Consider the daily two-hour walk. Among Schopenhauer’s disciples of the late nineteenth century this walk was celebrated fact of his biography, and it was so because of its regularity. There was speculation as to why he insisted on going out and staying out for two hours no matter what the weather. It suggests health fanaticism, but there is no other evidence that Schopenhauer was a health fanatic or crank. In my view the reason was simply obstinacy: he would go out and nothing would stop him.”

    While this immovability has its disadvantages, you have to admire the monk-like discipline.

    Schopenhauer was a proponent of ascetism, a life without pleasure-seeking and mindless indulgence. A lot of his philosophy centers around a type of “denouncement of the material world,” so it’s not surprising that a little rain and wind wouldn’t stop his daily walk.

    This way of living is reminiscent of the documentary Into Great Silence, which follows the daily lives of Carthusian monks living in the French mountains while they eat, clean, pray, and fulfill their chores and duties in quiet solitude.

    One of the hallmarks of a great routine is that it’s a sustainable system. The fact that Schopenhauer was able to follow this regimen for the rest of his life is a testament to its strength and efficacy, and something worth admiring even if it’s not a lifestyle we’d want to replicate for ourselves.


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • 14 Powerful Genre-Bending Films That Explore Love in Unconventional Ways

    14 Powerful Genre-Bending Films That Explore Love in Unconventional Ways

    Explore the world of love through a variety of lenses. Here’s a collection of powerful films that each portray love and romance in a unique way, spanning multiple genres including drama, comedy, fantasy, animation, and sci-fi.


    “Cinema is a mirror by which we often see ourselves.”

    Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu


    Movies give us the opportunity to explore major themes in life in a meaningful and profound way.

    A powerful film can lead to a better understanding of your own experiences. It can communicate thoughts and emotions that may have been challenging to express; and, at times, completely reshape our perspective on life.

    For better or worse, movies play a pivotal role in shaping our beliefs and map of reality. We pick up ideas through films, sometimes absorbed at a very young age, and those ideas find their way into our daily lives influencing our choices and perspectives.

    Filmmakers understand the transformative power of cinema, purposely using it to shake up people’s consciousness. The goal of a solid film is to create an experience that leaves you a different person by the end of it.

    As viewers, it’s essential to be aware of a film’s effects both emotionally and intellectually. Often, the movies that linger in our thoughts long after watching are the most impactful and life-changing.

    Here’s a collection of classic films about love and romance. Each movie has had a lasting influence on audiences in one way or another. It’s an eclectic list that spans multiple genres, including drama, comedy, animation, fantasy, mystery, and sci-fi.

    Titanic (1997)

    James Cameron’s epic tale blends love and tragedy against the historical backdrop of the Titanic’s sinking in 1912. The film weaves a captivating narrative of a forbidden romance blossoming amidst a natural disaster.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

    In this mind-bending story, a man attempts to erase the memories of a lost love using cutting-edge technology, only to find fate conspiring to bring the couple back together repeatedly. The film explores the complexities of memory, love, and destiny.

    Beauty and the Beast (1991)

    Disney’s classic adaptation of the French fairy tale is celebrated for its beautiful animation and memorable songs. The film goes beyond appearances, illustrating the transformative power of true love.

    Her (2013)

    Set in a near-future world, “Her” tells the unconventional love story of a lonely man who forms a deep connection with his computer’s operating system. The film delves into themes of technology, loneliness, and the nature of human connection.

    Before Sunrise (1995)

    Richard Linklater’s film follows two young tourists who meet on a train in Europe and share an unforgettable night in Vienna. The movie explores the transient nature of connections and the profound impact of brief encounters.

    Lost in Translation (2003)

    Sofia Coppola’s film features a washed-up American celebrity and a young woman forging an unexpected bond in Tokyo. “Lost in Translation” navigates themes of loneliness, connection, and self-discovery.

    Cinema Paradiso (1988)

    An Italian filmmaker reflects on his past and learns how to channel his love in a different and creative way through his art and craftsmanship.

    Past Lives (2023)

    Two childhood friends reconnect after years apart, seeking to unravel the meaning behind their enduring connection. The film explores the complexities of friendship, time, and shared history.

    Check out: In-Yeon: Exploring “Past Lives” and Eternal Connections

    The Lobster (2015)

    Set in a dystopian future, “The Lobster” challenges societal norms by presenting a world where individuals must choose a romantic partner within 45 days or face transformation into an animal. The film satirizes the pressure to conform in matters of love.

    Annie Hall (1977)

    Woody Allen’s classic romantic comedy is a hilarious and heartfelt movie that explores neurotic love and the psychological obstacles we commonly face in marriage and long-term relationships.

    Your Name. (2016)

    A masterful anime that combines elements of science fiction, fantasy, and romance. It centers on a mysterious connection between a boy and girl who swap bodies, learn about each other’s lives, and search to find each other in real life.

    A Woman Under the Influence (1974)

    John Cassavetes’ uncomfortably raw and dramatic portrayal of the profound impact of mental illness on marriage and family, navigating the complexities with unflinching honesty.

    The Fountain (2006)

    Darren Aronofsky’s “The Fountain” explores love and mortality through three interconnected storylines spanning different time periods. The film delves into themes of eternal love and the quest for immortality, providing a visually stunning and emotionally resonant experience.

    Scenes From a Marriage (1974)

    Legendary director Ingmar Bergman’s deeply incisive and detailed chronicle of a rocky marriage’s final days.

    Choose one movie and analyze it

    Each of these films offers a different perspective on love while also pushing the boundaries of cinema and story-telling.

    It’s fun to compare each story: How did the couples meet? What defined “love” for them? What obstacles did they face? Did the relationship work out in the end or not? Why?

    Exercise: Choose one movie from the list that you haven’t seen before and do the Movie Analysis Worksheet (PDF).

    While films are often seen as just a source of entertainment or healthy escapism, they can also be an avenue for self-improvement and growth.

    The “Movie Analysis Worksheet” is designed to make you think about the deeper themes behind a film and extract some lessons from it that you can apply to your life.

    Watch with a friend and discuss

    If you don’t want to do the worksheet, just watch one of the movies with a friend (or loved one) – then discuss it after.

    Watching a film together is an opportunity to share a new experience. It can also spark up interesting conversations. This is one reason why bonding through movies is one of the most common ways we connect with people in today’s world.

    Which film will you check out?


    Enter your email to stay updated on new content on self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • 6 Aspects Of A Balanced Person: A Complete Picture of Well-Being

    6 Aspects Of A Balanced Person: A Complete Picture of Well-Being



    What are the six aspects of a balanced person? Physical, mental, emotional, social, work/financial, and meaning/spiritual. Learn more about each one and how to improve it!


    In life, there isn’t one single area that we need to focus on that is going to magically fix all of our problems.

    Instead there are multiple dimensions behind every “good life.” Each dimension requires our attention and each contributes to our overall happiness and well-being.

    Here are six aspects of life that come together to create a “balanced person.” By being more aware of these different dimensions in life, we can determine which areas we need to focus on more and work to improve.

    The different aspects of a balanced person include: 1) Physical, 2) Mental, 3) Emotional, 4) Social, 5) Work/Financial and 6) Meaning/Spiritual.

    If we focus too much on any one area, then we risk neglecting another one. For example, if you become solely focused on just work and money, you may end up spending less time taking care of your physical and mental health, or less quality time with family and friends.

    This is a common trap people fall into. They focus all of their energy and effort into one area in life while completely ignoring another. Often they need to reconfigure their core values and priorities before making a meaningful change.

    This is why practicing balance in all things is so important.

    Each of these areas is one piece of a much larger puzzle, and only when you have all of these areas working together harmoniously can you finally build a complete life that serves all of your needs.

    Here’s a detailed breakdown of each aspect of a “balanced person,” along with tips, tools, and practical advice on how you can start improving each one.

    While reading ask yourself, “Which aspect do I need to focus on the most right now? What’s one small change I can make to improve that area?”

    Now let’s dive in…

    1. PHYSICAL WELL-BEING

    health

    The “physical” aspect of life is all about taking care of our health, especially exercise, diet, and sleep.

    This includes what types of foods and drinks we consume on a daily basis, how often we exercise and keep our bodies moving, personal hygiene and cleanliness, as well as minimizing alcohol, smoking, and other harmful habits to our physical health.

    Our body is one of the most precious gifts we have – and without it we can’t exist. If we don’t stay healthy, we often can’t fully enjoy all the other aspects of life such as family, work, traveling, or leisure.

    Our health can often have a spillover effect into all the other aspects of our lives – for that reason, taking care of our physical health is often an essential first step on any road to self-improvement.

    No matter what the current state of our health is, it’s never too late to start changing our habits, even if it’s something small like stretching in the morning, taking daily walks outside, or starting an active hobby like Yoga, marathon running, or playing sports.

    A healthy body is a healthy mind. When we take better care of our bodies, we also feel more confident, motivated, and energized overall. That’s the beginning of bringing out your best self.


    Things to do:

    • Identify small ways to be more physically active. Often our days are filled with opportunities to be more active, we just need to take advantage of them. Try to cultivate an “everything counts” mindset when it comes to exercise, even if it just means taking a walk around the block, or stretching in the morning, or doing push-ups before lunch. Any physical activity is better than none at all – so seek out small and convenient ways to keep your body moving throughout the day. If you find yourself sitting for long periods of time, get up and do chores, take a walk around the office, or make a phone call while standing up. A sedentary lifestyle is one of the biggest risk factors when it comes to poor health, so finding any reason to stand up more is better than sitting.
    • Find exercise that “clicks” with you and your personality. Different things work for different people. Some people need to commit themselves to a gym membership to get themselves off the couch, while others prefer to work out in the comfort of their own homes. Your personality shapes what exercise you like, so it’s important you find activities that resonate and “click” with you, rather than trying to force yourself to do something you really don’t enjoy. All you need is that one hobby to take your fitness to the next level, whether it be finding an enjoyable sport (like Tennis, or Baseball, or Basketball), or even exercising through video games (such as Wii Fit or Dance Dance Revolution). Try to think of physical activities you enjoyed as a kid, that can often be a good place to rekindle motivation.
    • Keep a healthy and consistent sleep schedule. Sleep is one of the most important habits when it comes to your overall physical and mental health. Research shows that those who don’t get sufficient sleep (between 6-10 hours every night) often suffer worse health outcomes like a weaker immune system, higher risk of obesity, lower energy and stamina, and more stress and anxiety. If your sleep habits aren’t healthy or consistent, it will likely have a negative “ripple effect” on almost every other aspect of your day. When you’re tired and fatigued, you’re more likely to make mistakes at work or argue with your spouse. It’s important not only to get between 6-10 hours of sleep each night, but also to maintain a consistent schedule. If you don’t sleep much on the weekends, it’s difficult to “catch up” on those lost hours throughout the week. Try to go to bed and wake up around the same time each day if possible. Here are more important lessons behind a good night’s sleep, including recognizing that some people are natural “early birds” or “night owls,” and that’s something you need to recognize and work with.
    • Pay attention to your food and diet. There are many different diets out there to choose from – and people can have long debates about which one is better – but the most important thing is to not eat too much, especially junk food, fast food, soda, sweets, and lots of processed food. Use your commonsense. Experiment with different diet changes and see what works best for you. Different diets work better for different people – so there’s no “one size fits all” solution to what exactly you should eat or not eat. One simple diet change is to substitute all your soda/juice/sugary drinks with water instead. Drinking plenty of water is never a bad place to start – most people don’t recognize how dehydrated they can be throughout the day and how it effects them. If you’re trying to lose weight, one popular option you can consider is intermittent fasting where you allow yourself to eat for an 8 hour window each day and fast for the remaining 16 hours. You can also try the “One Meal A Day” approach, where you restrict yourself to just one big meal (with minimal snacking). In general, pay attention to how your body responds to the things you eat: What foods leave you tired and feeling like crap? What foods make you energized and feeling good?
    • Take care of personal hygiene and cleanliness. Proper hygiene is another important aspect of physical health. While it can seem like commonsense, basic habits like taking a shower, brushing your teeth, getting a haircut, trimming your nails, and washing your face are are all important things not to neglect. Not only does cleanliness prevent you from catching germs and getting sick, you also feel better about yourself when you present yourself in the best way possible (and smell good). Often we are surprised by how much better we feel after a fresh new haircut, or clean new clothes, or new cologne/perfume. When mental health is low, we sometimes neglect these basic habits out of laziness or apathy, which is why they are a crucial first step in self-improvement if we aren’t paying enough attention to them.
    • Minimize your bad habits. No one is 100% perfect and we all have a couple bad habits, whether it be eating too many sweets, or drinking alcohol, or staying up late, or smoking cigarettes. In general, it’s important to quit (or minimize) our unhealthy habits as much as possible. “Choose your crutches wisely.” Keep in mind the long-term consequences of your habits – while it may not feel like they are hurting you right now, their effects can often catch up to you in the future. When trying to quit any bad habit, identify your triggers and work from there to change to change your patterns. Often by creating more boundaries between you and your bad habits, you can overcome your urge to do them (until it’s no longer an automatic habit anymore). If you find that you have a serious problem with addiction or drug abuse, consider professional help (such as a therapist, psychologist, or counselor) – there are often local resources available in your area if you do a quick search.

    Please don’t underestimate the importance of keeping your body in the best shape possible. As Socrates famously said, “No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

    Physical health is about much more than just looking and feeling good about yourself – it’s about living a life of vitality and longevity. You can have everything else in your life figured out, but if you don’t maintain your health you won’t be around very long to use or enjoy it.

    2. MENTAL WELL-BEING

    mental

    If you don’t take care of your body then it will slowly deteriorate – and the same is true for your mind.

    Just because you don’t have to go to school anymore doesn’t mean you can’t keep learning new things, keeping your brain sharp, and challenging your intellect.

    Reading books. Learning about new topics. Having deep conversations. Attending lectures and workshops. Following the news. These are all commonsense ways to keep our minds active and continue to update our knowledge and belief system as we move through life.

    Learning is a lifelong endeavor. Balanced people are always seeking new things to dig into and learn more about like a new hobby, new game, or new skill such as painting, chess, learning a new language, or playing a musical instrument.

    In addition, research shows that continuing to challenge our brain is an important way to prevent cognitive decline as we get older, including lower the risk of dementia and memory loss.


    Things to do:

    • Read more books. Reading is one of the best ways to keep your mind sharp and learn new things. Nonfiction books about science, history, philosophy, or self help can grow your knowledge and broaden your perspective on life; and reading fiction has been shown to have many cognitive benefits such as boosting empathy, creative thinking, and expanding your vocabulary. If you haven’t read a book in awhile, try to make it a goal to read at least one book this year. You can start with a book you already own but never got a chance to read, or ask a friend for a book recommendation, or get a card from your local library and explore countless books for free. Find a topic or subject that interests you and start there!
    • Learn a new skill. Learning multiple skills is a hallmark of being a balanced and well-rounded person. It’s never too late in life to dive into something completely new, such as playing a musical instrument, learning a new language, writing poetry, painting, or playing chess. A jack of all trades mindset can make you stand-out from others in unique ways. Many people have a talent or passion for at least one thing, but when you start combining talents and cultivating multiple interests it shows your range and flexibility as a person. Don’t limit yourself. There’s no pressure to become a “professional” or “expert” in everything you do, just stay on a learning path, have fun while doing it, and enjoy seeing the growth as you go.
    • Watch documentaries. Documentaries are a fun and easy way to explore new topics and learn about interesting things you otherwise wouldn’t experience. Depending on what you like, there are many different subjects to choose from: history, sports, biographies, science, inspirational stories, or nature documentaries (which have also been shown to boost positive emotions like joy, gratitude, and awe). I’ve made a lengthy list of recommended documentaries which I try to keep updated as I discover new ones. Check it out and choose one that catches your eye!
    • Monitor your information diet. Our current world is overloaded with information, including a lot that is wrong, misleading, or straight up lies and propaganda. Now more than ever we need to pay close attention to the information we consume on a daily basis. Try to find trustworthy news and educational sites where you can easily verify what they are saying from other sources. Beware of going down esoteric “rabbit holes” where people only confirm their own biases and beliefs. Actively seek out information from multiple sides so you’re at least aware of different perspectives and counter-arguments. The information pyramid is a great guide on how you should prioritize certain sources over others. In general, a peer-reviewed scientific study should be given more weight than some random influencer on social media. Keep in mind it’s also possible to consume too much and become an information junkie, where you’re addicted to learning new things, but you never act on it or put it into practice.
    • Spend time in active reflection. Give yourself time to think and digest, even if it’s just for 10 minutes while sitting with your first cup of coffee in the morning. You don’t always need to be filling your brain with facts to be a smarter person, you also need to know how to step back and contemplate what you know. Active and engaged minds are always taking advantage of opportunities for everyday reflection when sitting on the bus, taking a shower, or walking the dog. Often your best ideas and insights come in moments when you’re not trying to solve a problem directly but just mulling it over in your mind. Schedule time for solitude every now and then and don’t be afraid to sit alone with your thoughts.
    • Learn how your mind works. One essential component to being a more intelligent thinker is knowing how your mind works. We naturally believe we understand ourselves best, but psychology and neuroscience can sometimes reveal counter-intuitive facts and tendencies. To start, our minds are very susceptible to cognitive biases and logical fallacies that can muddy our thinking and understanding of reality. One of the most common errors is black and white thinking, where we believe a situation needs to be either “A” or “B,” but a third perspective, “C,” is the more accurate view. Our minds like to over-simplify things when reality can often be more nuanced and complex. Show intellectual humility. Be open to being wrong and be open to changing your mind in the face of new evidence and experience.

    Take your education seriously. Maintain a healthy and active brain. Even if you were never a good student in school, that doesn’t mean you can’t improve your knowledge and intelligence, especially once you find subjects you are deeply passionate about. Benjamin Franklin once said, “An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”

    3. EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING

    emotional

    In the “Mental” section we covered how to keep our brains active and be more intelligent thinkers, but there’s also a whole other side of our psychology that we need to pay attention to as well: our “Emotional” side.

    Emotions can often seem like something that we have limited power over, but being a more emotionally intelligent person means becoming more self-aware and learning how to better respond to our emotions in the moment.

    We can’t ignore our emotions or push them aside forever, they are a necessary facet of life and we must learn to navigate our emotional world effectively if we want to live the best life possible.

    Remember that emotions are a resource, not a crutch. Every emotion serves a function or purpose, and if we channel our emotions in a constructive direction we can make great things happen.

    One important lesson is that even negative emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, or fear are helpful to a better life if we approach them from the right perspective.


    Things to do:

    • Learn the basics of emotional intelligence. There are 4 fundamental pillars of emotional intelligence that we need to cultivate: 1) Self-awareness (recognizing our emotions when they happen), 2) Self-regulation (knowing how to respond to our emotions and channel them in a positive direction, 3) Empathy (being aware of other people’s emotions and internal states), and 4) Social Skills (knowing how to respond to other people’s emotions in a healthy and constructive way). Certain people may be strong at some of these and not for others. For example, someone may be really empathetic and caring, but not know how to regulate their own mood and emotions, leading to burnout and emotional fatigue. An emotionally intelligent person must work on all four of these pillars.
    • Improve body awareness. All emotions have a physical component to them. When you learn how to identify the physical sensations behind each emotion, you’ll be much more attuned to your feelings in the moment as you’re experiencing them. This helps you to be more aware of your feelings before acting on them, and to recognize how emotions often want to push or pull you in a certain direction (“do this” vs. “don’t do that”). Every feeling serves a different function depending on its emotional valence (“positive” vs. “negative”) and arousal level (“high energy” vs. “low energy”). With practice, this improved body awareness can also boost your intuition, making you a better reader of your “gut feelings” and what they are telling you.
    • Learn to channel negative emotions. Negative emotions can serve a positive function if you know how to respond to them in a constructive way. If you struggle with any specific negative emotion (sadness, fear, guilt, or anger), then create a plan for how you will respond to it the next time it arises. For example, “If I’m angry, then I’ll go exercise,” or “If I’m sad, then I’ll write in my journal.” Emotions are energy that can be channeled in multiple directions. Write a list of the many ways you can respond to any negative emotion. Remind yourself you have a choice, and you don’t have to keep following the same pattern between negative emotion → negative behavior. One popular technique is opposite action, where you intentionally do the opposite of what a feeling is telling you to do (to reverse the cycle of negativity).
    • Practice meditation and daily mindfulness. Meditation is a great avenue for better understanding and regulating your emotions. It teaches you how to step back and just observe your thoughts and feelings without needing to immediately react to them. This space between “feelings” and “actions” is crucial for being a more emotionally intelligent person; it’s the main principle behind discipline, willpower, and self-control. Never forget that just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean you need to act on it. If you’re completely new to meditation, start with the 100 breaths meditation – a simple exercise where you just focus on your breathing. It’s also helpful to learn grounding techniques for when you feel overwhelmed, such as mindful stretching or a 5 senses meditation.
    • Embrace creative expression. It’s difficult to describe many emotions with only words so it’s important to embrace other ways of expressing yourself, such as through music, photography, dance, painting, drawing, acting, or film. Often when I meet people who don’t feel fully connected to their emotional self, they usually lack ways of expressing themselves through art and creativity. A creative outlet is often a prerequisite to better understanding and navigating your emotional world, even if you don’t typically think of yourself as a “creative person.”
    • Savor all of your positive experiences. Life is filled with many joys and pleasures throughout the day and we should try to savor them as much as possible. We have many positive emotions to choose from – joy, gratitude, peace, awe, excitement, laughter, and wonder – and there are a variety of activities that can lead to more positive emodiversity in our lives. Don’t just chase after the same positive experiences over and over again, seek new experiences, new hobbies, and new ways of enjoying life. Learn how to savor happiness as much as possible by being more present in the moment, creating positive memories, and reminiscing on good times.
    • Relax and manage daily stress. Last but not least, it’s necessary we cover stress management as an essential component to mental health and emotional intelligence. Stress is a normal part of everyday life, but if you don’t know how to manage it in a healthy way it can often have a negative influence on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors by making you more sensitive, irritable, angry, and bothered (even by little things that don’t really matter). Recognize when to push yourself vs. when to step back and recharge. In the complete guide on daily stress, you’ll find a great framework for reframing your “fight, flight, or freeze” response by viewing stress as a signal to pay attention to and guide you throughout the day. Don’t underestimate the importance of your comfort zone and use it as a place to recharge after a challenging or overwhelming day.

    Emotions can “make us” or “break us” depending on how emotionally intelligent we are. They are a fundamental part of life, but we often have more power over them than we realize. Learn how to channel your emotions in a healthy and constructive way – become a master of them, not a slave to them.

    4. SOCIAL WELL-BEING

    social

    Healthy and positive relationships are an essential ingredient to happiness and well-being.

    No matter who you are, you crave some type of social connection; even the most introverted person on the planet will have a tough time finding happiness all by themselves.

    There used to be a time when I believed “I don’t need people to be happy, all I need is myself.” But over the years I’ve learned more and more that having social support and a sense of belonging is a basic human need that can’t be avoided.

    How strong is your current social circle? Here’s advice to get you started.


    Things to do:

    • Stay connected with friends and family. You should try your best to stay in touch with people who you already have a strong relationship with, especially family and old friends. There’s a simple power in checking in on people and preserving social connections you’ve already established. It doesn’t take much time or effort to show you’re thinking about someone: a simple text, email, or phone call is all you need to let people know you still care and value your relationship with them. You’d be surprised by how much other people appreciate you reaching out to them, even if you haven’t spoken to them in a really long time.
    • Embrace small social interactions. Every time you leave your home, there is opportunity for social interaction. To build your social muscles, embrace the power of 10 second relationships, such as saying “Hi,” to a neighbor or coworker, small talk with a cashier or cab driver, or sparking up a quick conversation while waiting for the train or bus. Research shows even super tiny social interactions can boost positive emotions and feelings of social connectedness. This can also be a great exercise for people who are very introverted (or have a lot of social anxiety) and want to start being a more social person. Make a plan to have a pleasant interaction with at least one new person every day.
    • Learn how to have endless conversations. One big concern for people when it comes to meeting new people is, “What do I say? What if I run out of things to talk about?” One popular technique known as conversation threading provides an excellent framework so that you never run out of topics to talk about. The basic idea is that every sentence contains multiple “threads” we can go down, and often the art of good conversation is being able to 1) Listen to what people say, and 2) Choose a thread to talk more about. Rinse and repeat and a conversation can go on forever. Also consider improvisation exercises so that you can be a faster and more creative thinker in the moment.
    • Improve communication and conflict resolution. It’s a cliché, but communication is everything in relationships. If you don’t know how to express your thoughts and feelings in an honest and constructive way, you’ll have trouble building genuine and healthy connections with others at home, work, or wherever you need to cooperate and work together with people. In romantic relationships, it’s important to know how to communicate your feelings without manipulating or being dramatic. In family and work environments, it’s important to know how to defuse heated arguments before they spiral out of control. The truth is people can be difficult and you’re not going to like everyone’s company. That’s natural. Conflicts have the potential to arise in any social situation, because people have different beliefs, values, and personalities that may be incompatible with each other. What’s most important is to teach yourself the best methods for conflict resolution so you can better navigate the complexities of your social world.
    • Find opportunities to meet new people. Most people make friends through work or school. Once we get older, it can become more difficult to find new connections or become a part of new social circles. Recent research shows that most adults claim to have “less than 5 close friends.” If you’re looking to expand your circle, there are many opportunities available to you. Depending on your likes, hobbies, and interests, consider going out more to music shows, bars, coffee shops, workshops, church/religious services, bowling leagues, adult education classes, sports events, or book clubs. Seek out local groups in your area or volunteer somewhere. You can also take advantage of websites like Meet Up to connect with like-minded people who live close-by. All it takes is one new friend to introduce you to an entirely new social circle. Be patient and don’t worry if you don’t initially hit it off with the first couple people you meet. Finding the right relationships that fit into our lives can take time.
    • Use social media and the internet to connect. The internet can be a great place to connect with like-minded people who we’d never meet in the real world. Online communities on social media, message boards, or video games can often provide a valuable source of social interaction, especially for people who don’t have many “real life” friends. The internet can be particularly helpful for connecting with others who have rare or eccentric hobbies, such as fans of a specific author, athlete, music genre, or comic book franchise. Unfortunately, many online communities can also become negative, competitive, and toxic (see the online disinhibition effect), so it’s necessary you build a positive digital environment that works for you. That doesn’t mean hiding in your own “echo chamber,” but it does mean cultivating a feed and followers who ultimately add value to your life and don’t subtract it. First focus on topics you’re naturally interested in such as science, technology, sports, or movies. Try not to be a passive consumer of information, actively enter conversations by asking questions or sharing knowledge with others. Often times we can build meaningful connections with people online that are just as important as those we find in the real world. However, while online relationships can have many benefits, we shouldn’t see them as a substitute for real world “face to face” interactions.

    Always remember that quality of relationships > quantity of relationships.

    You don’t need to be super popular or the life of the party to have a healthy social life. All you need is a couple really close friends who support you, trust you, and enjoy your presence. That’s everything you need to be socially satisfied.

    Healthy relationships are a fundamental aspect of happiness and well-being for everyone. Our need to belong to a “tribe” or group is hardwired into our brain, biology, and evolution. Like every other aspect of a balanced person, it can’t be ignored.

    Are your daily social needs being fulfilled?

    5. WORK / FINANCIAL WELL-BEING

    work

    Another fundamental aspect of a balanced person is work, money, and material concerns.

    At the most basic level, we depend on food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, and other necessities so we can live a healthy and dignified life.

    People that struggle to make a living can often hurt in many other areas: physical health (can’t afford good foods, healthcare, or medicine), relationships (can’t support family, no money for dating), as well as our mental and emotional well-being (stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem).

    Unless you win the lottery or have someone else to provide for you, finding a steady job or career is often one of the most focused on areas in life. From childhood up until we finish high school or college, we are constantly asked, “What do you want to do for a living?”

    A few people find jobs they love, many find jobs they like, and most find jobs they can at least tolerate. Balancing psychological needs with financial needs can be a difficult task depending on your current situation.

    While we don’t always get a choice in what we do for a living, there are important ways to give ourselves more power over our work life and financial life. Here are important guidelines to keep in mind.


    Things to do:

    • Focus on your strengths. Everyone has a place in this world where they add value. Before you decide what type of work you’d like to do for a living, it’s important to know what your natural strengths, skills, and talents are. If you’re friendly and good with people, you may excel at managing, customer service, or human resources type jobs. If you’re more introverted and creative, you may want to focus on writing, graphic design, computer programming, or freelance work. What type of activities are you typically good at (or at least above average)? What were your best subjects in school? What do you enjoy doing and why? Complete the strengths worksheet to discover more about your natural skillset. Ultimately, knowing your strengths will influence what types of jobs or career choices will suit you best – including where you contribute the most value.
    • Value education and experience. No matter what your job is, there are always new ways to learn and improve. The best workers in life are those who are always growing and mastering their craft. College is still an important part of education, but what’s even more important is to stay self-motivated and continue learning after school. Many people I know have landed successful jobs that had virtually nothing to do with what they studied in college. In several cases, they were people who taught themselves coding/programming, built a portfolio to show their work to potential employers, and climbed their way up the company ladder from there. All self-taught. You can also consider going to trade schools, workshops, mentorships, internships, and other forms of gaining knowledge and experience that are outside of the traditional college model. Any work experience is better than none at all – you just need to start somewhere and begin building yourself up.
    • Make the most of your job. While it’s rare for any of us to get our “dream job,” we can always make the most of our work life by being a good employee and doing our best. Use nudges to keep yourself motivated and productive throughout the day, learn mental strategies for getting things done that you normally “don’t like” doing, and make friends at work with bosses, coworkers, clients, or customers, because those are the people you’re going to be spending a lot of time with and it’s crucial you have healthy and functioning relationships with them. No matter what your job is try to see the underlying purpose or meaning behind it. What value does it add to the world? Are you proud of the work you do?
    • Live within your means. Regardless of how much money you make, one of the most commonsense rules for financial well-being is living within your means. This includes keeping a budget that you can maintain (for food, rent/mortgage, bills, gas, clothes, and leisure expenses), and not buying too much stuff you can’t immediately afford. Debt can be common at some point in our lives (due to student loans, credit card debt, medical emergencies, etc.), but try to be mindful to not put yourself in a hole that you can’t climb out of. Avoid luxury expenses that put you at financial risk. We sometimes over-extend ourselves due to social comparison and a “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality. We think if our friend or neighbor gets a brand new car or goes on an expensive trip, then we need to “one-up” them with a similar purchase. Many times people fall into massive debt because they are trying to chase status, fame, luxury, or exorbitant pleasures. In general, keep track of all your monthly expenses and find ways to cut back on spending that isn’t necessary. Learn about spending biases that can lead to overconsumption (like the allure of “FREE!,” the “Relativity Trap,” and “One Click” purchases). Big corporations are masters of psychology and persuasion. If we aren’t vigilant about our spending habits (especially if you enjoy retail therapy), then we’ll often fall for tricks that cause us to spend more money than we should.
    • Create a healthy relationship with material things. This article is about being a balanced person. Work and money are very important aspects of life, but materialistic beliefs can also backfire to hurt us. No one lays down on their deathbed wishing they spent more time in the office. Work-a-holics can end up focusing so much on their career that they neglect giving enough attention to their family, health, and well-being. Never forget that there is a lot more to a good life than just money and material things, despite what you may see glamorized in movies, TV shows, or commercials. Psychology research shows that after a certain point, increased wealth and income has very little effect on our overall happiness and life satisfaction. Being rich sounds awesome, but it won’t necessarily make you any happier than if you earned less with a stable and secure life. Take the materialism quiz to see if you have a healthy relationship with money and stuff.

    Remember, money is important but it isn’t everything.

    Financial well-being will often look radically different depending on the person. Certain people may be content with modest and minimal living, while others crave more luxury, adventure, and pleasure. Whichever lifestyle you choose, it’s necessary that money finds the proper role in your life without being completely consumed by it.

    One succinct way to define true financial well-being is “not needing to think about money all the time.”

    6. MEANINGFUL / SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING

    spiritual

    The meaningful or spiritual aspects of life can often be overlooked.

    We may occasionally ask ourselves big questions like, “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” or “What’s my purpose?” but we rarely translate these questions into our daily lives through action.

    For many people, religion is their main source of spirituality and meaning. Attending church, being part of a local community, prayer, and volunteering or giving to charities are common ways people boost meaning in their daily lives. Religion has been shown to improve happiness and well-being by creating a strong sense of purpose and community.

    However, we don’t need religion to have a meaningful life. There are many other sources of meaning, including art, culture, philosophy, literature, music, relationships, activism, introspection, and creativity.

    Where do you get your meaning in life?


    Things to do:

    • Learn the pillars of a meaningful life. One excellent guide on how to live a meaningful life outlines five different pillars to focus on, including 1) A sense of belonging (having healthy relationships with those around you), 2) A sense of purpose (feeling that you contribute to a larger whole), 3) Storytelling (the life story we tell about ourselves, as well as stories and myths about the world we live in), 4) Transcendence (experiencing “awe” and “inspiration” in the presence of great things), 5) Growth (having a sense that you are evolving and moving forward as a person). All five pillars contribute to a rich and meaningful existence.
    • Spend more time in nature. Nature reminds us that we are part of something larger than ourselves, a whole process known as “life.” Nature is a fantastic source of meaning because it continuously inspires positive emotions like joy, amazement, gratitude, and awe. The best part is that nature is all around us – we don’t need to plan a weekend camping trip to experience it – instead just pay attention to everyday nature that is all around you: trees on the drive to work, birdwatching in your backyard, or spending time in your garden over the summer. Having pets to care for is another easy and wonderful source of nature and connection, even if it’s just a small fish tank to maintain. Nature also includes enjoying the beauty of a nice view such as sunrises, sunsets, mountaintops, storm watching, and star-gazing.
    • Take a complete picture perspective. Finding meaning requires being able to look at things from a big picture perspective. What influence do your actions have in the long-term? What type of impact will you leave on the world after you die? When you keep the complete picture in mind, you recognize that even super small actions can add up and have big results in the future. Your life doesn’t begin at birth nor end at death, you are part of an intergenerational chain of cause-and-effect that has stretched thousands of years. That’s a powerful thought if you can see the true significance behind it.
    • Embrace art, music, and culture. Artists are the creators of new meanings, especially famous painters, musicians, filmmakers, photographers, authors, playwrights, and dancers. Pursuing a creative hobby of your own is one fantastic way to infuse new meaning into your life. You can also embrace art and culture more by going to museums, art galleries, music concerts, and theaters. A lot of beautiful art is archived in online art and cultural exhibits, so you can discover a lot of new inspiration by just sitting in the comfort of your own home. Artists of all forms teach us how universal the human condition is. It’s a huge inspirational boost when you realize a book written over a hundred years ago resonates exactly with how you feel today. One of my strongest memories is attending a music concert of my favorite band with thousands of others listening and singing along. Creativity is one of humanity’s greatest gifts and there’s a lot of wisdom, beauty, and feelings of universal connection it can offer us.
    • Signs, symbols, and synchronicity. A meaningful life can be more about feeling inspiration and empowerment rather than thinking only logically and factually about the world. Embrace things you can’t always explain. If you feel like you’re getting a “sign” from the universe, accept it. Our minds often think unconsciously through the power of symbols, especially through reoccurring dreams or nightmares that may be trying to tell you something important. Meaning can be created anywhere if you have the right perspective. Many of my favorite moments in life are when I experience synchronicity, which is finding a connection between two things that seem completely unrelated at first. For example, if I start reading a book and then someone brings up the same book randomly the next day, I try to see that as a sign that I’m on the right path. It may or may not be true, but it is a simple and easy way to add more meaning to the little things in life.
    • Have faith that life is good. Faith may not have any role in science, but it does play an important role in good living. At the end of the day, one of the most important beliefs we can have is that “life is good” and things will generally work out in the end. One of my personal favorite quotes is, “Pray to God, but row to shore.” It shows us to have hope and faith in life, but still take action and try our best in the moment. Both faith and action are necessary ingredients to a happy and fulfilling life. A belief in God or a higher power can make this whole process easier. However, even if you can’t bring yourself to accept “metaphysical” or “supernatural” ideas, at least try to sense the oneness and interconnectedness of all things. These ideas are an endless source of power, strength, and resilience, even in the face of incredible hardships and tribulations.

    A “meaningful life” can be one of the most difficult areas of life to improve, especially while living in a world that is filled with nihilism, hedonism, and materialism.

    However, once you build a strong spiritual core you can withstand almost any difficulty or hardship. It can empower you to a whole new level that non-spiritual people don’t usually have access to.

    CONCLUSION

    To sum things up we must invest time and energy in all six of these aspects if we want to live a happy and balanced life.

    Once again, these six aspects of a balanced life include: 1) Physical, 2) Mental, 3) Emotional, 4) Social, 5) Work/Financial, and 6) Meaningful/Spiritual.

    Which area are you the strongest in? Which area are you the weakest in?

    Keep this framework in mind as you embark on a lifetime of self-improvement. Try the Daily Routine (PDF) exercise and use this resource as a guideline.


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:



    Steven Handel

    Source link

  • 50+ Motivational Latin Proverbs to Elevate Your Thinking to New Levels

    50+ Motivational Latin Proverbs to Elevate Your Thinking to New Levels


    Times change but wisdom stays the same. Check out this collection of inspirational Latin proverbs and find one that really resonates with you.


    Wisdom surpasses time and place. Powerful thoughts spoken hundreds and thousands of years ago still ring true to us today.

    One of my lifelong pastimes is collecting positive thoughts of all stripes. I have whole documents dedicated to inspirational quotes from people I look up to as role models, uplifting and motivational affirmations I’ve discovered over the years, and personal thoughts (every now and then I create a good one all on my own!).

    Latin proverbs, in particular, possess a special power. Many of us are already familiar with a few popular ones: carpe diem (“seize the day”), cogito ergo sum (“I think, therefore I am”), or veni, vidi, vici (“I came, I saw, I conquered”).

    These phrases have endured over the centuries, with some becoming part of our everyday discourse and others adopted as popular sayings in various institutions, such as primum non nocere (“first, do no harm”), a common saying in medicine and healthcare, or pro bono (“for the good”) a phrase in law referring to a lawyer working for no charge, or sic semper tyrannis (“thus always to tyrants”) which is often applied to politics and government.

    Here’s a compilation of the more popular and noteworthy Latin proverbs. These cover a broad range of subjects and ideas, but you’re bound to find a few new ones that resonate with you.

    50+ Motivational Latin Proverbs

    Acta non verba
    (“deeds not words”)

    Ad meliora
    (“towards better things”)

    Ad victoriam
    (“to victory”)

    Audere est faucere
    (“to dare is to do”)

    Astra inclinant, sed non obligant
    (“the stars incline us, they do not bind us”)

    Bono malum superate
    (“good will overcome evil”)

    Carpe diem
    (“seize the day”)

    Calamus gladio fortior
    (“the pen is mightier than the sword”)

    Cogito, ergo sum
    (“I think, therefore I am”)

    Cras es noster
    (“tomorrow, be ours”)

    Dictum factum
    (“what is said is done”)

    Duc, sequere, aut de via decede
    (“lead, follow, or get out of the way”)

    Dum spiro, spero
    (“while I breathe, I hope”)

    Ego te provoco
    (“I challenge you”)

    Est modus in rebus
    (“there is a middle way in all things”)

    Faber est suae quisque fortunae
    (“every man is the artisan of his own fortune”)

    Familia supra omnia
    (“family over everything”)

    Fons vitae caritas
    (“love is the fountain of life”)

    Fortiter et fideliter
    (“bravely and faithfully”)

    Gladiator in arena consilium capit
    (“the gladiator is formulating his plan in the arena”)

    Grandescunt aucta labore
    (“by work, all things increase and grow”)

    Humilitas occidit superbiam
    (“humility kills pride”)

    Igne natura renovatur integra
    (“through fire nature is reborn whole”)

    Incepto ne desistam
    (“may I not shrink from my purpose”)

    Magna est vis consuetudinis
    (“great is the power of habit”)

    Memento mori
    (“remember you must die”)

    Memento vivere
    (“remember you have to live”)

    Memores acti prudentes future
    (“mindful of what has been done, aware of what will be”)

    Morior invictus
    (“death before defeat”)

    Non ducor, duco
    (“I am not led, I lead”)

    Nosce te ipsum
    (“know thyself”)

    Omne initium difficile est
    (“every beginning is difficult”)

    Ordo ab chao
    (“order out of chaos”)

    Palma non sine pulvere
    (“no reward without effort”)

    Pax vobiscum
    (“peace be with you”)

    Praesis ut prosis ne ut imperes
    (“lead in order to serve, not in order to rule”)

    Praemonitus, praemunitus
    (“forewarned is forearmed”)

    Pro bono
    (“for the good”)

    Primum non nocere
    (“first do no harm”)

    Qui non proficit, deficit
    (“he who does not advance, goes backward”)

    Qui totum vult totum perdit
    (“he who wants everything loses everything”)

    Sapientia potentia est
    (“wisdom is power”)

    Si vis amari, ama
    (“if you wish to be loved, love”)

    Sic parvis magna
    (“greatness from small beginnings”)

    Sic semper tyrannis
    (“thus always to tyrants”)

    Sic vita est
    (“such is life”)

    Suum cuique
    (“to each his own”)

    Tempus fugit
    (“time flies”)

    Tendit in ardua virtus
    (“virtue strives for what is difficult”)

    Ubi concordia, ibi victoria
    (“where is unity, there is victory”)

    Vacate et scire
    (“be still and know”)

    Veni, vidi, vici
    (“I came, I saw, I conquered”)

    Verba volant, scripta manent
    (“words fly away, writing remains”)

    Vincit qui se vincit
    (“he conquers who conquers himself”)

    Vis medicatrix naturae
    (“the healing power of nature”)

    Recommended Exercise

    Which ones do you like the best from the list above?

    Choose 1-3 of these Latin proverbs and find a way to integrate them into your daily life. Practice unconscious positivity: write one down and post it on your fridge or bathroom mirror, create a piece of art or music dedicated to one, or make one into a digital password.

    I have “cras es noster” (tomorrow, be ours) on the top of my whiteboard going into the new year.


    Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement:

    Steven Handel

    Source link