ReportWire

Tag: perfectionism

  • Doctors turning to trusted life hack to eliminate pain of perfectionism – WTOP News

    [ad_1]

    It’s called “satisficing,” a combination of making choices that are satisfying and what suffices with the information that’s readily available.

    The hair-splitting and nitpicking pain of perfectionism can cause many people to overthink, stress or burnout.

    But an old life hack is surging that’s designed to eliminate anxiety linked to making perfect choices and spark quick action.

    It’s called “satisficing,” a combination of making choices that are satisfying and suffice with the information that’s readily available.

    Dr. Tina Thomas, an adult psychiatrist at Kaiser Permanente, said it means a quick escape from analysis paralysis for many perfectionists.

    “As humans, we have this desire to want to make the right choice all of the time. And not do something until we are 100% prepared. But in that desire, we end up not really achieving a lot,” she told WTOP.

    The decision-making strategy was first used back in the mid-1950s by Dr. Herbert Simon. He taught patients to make choices based on their first “good-enough” option that met their needs, rather than the perfect choice. It helped reduce anxiety and rumination.

    “It’s about being good enough rather than perfect,” she said.

    In addition to the method, Thomas advises her patients to set and stick to clear deadlines, and once a decision is made, don’t second-guess it.

    “Be happy. You’ve made a good choice,” she said. “Know that your task is done and you can move forward.”

    Get breaking news and daily headlines delivered to your email inbox by signing up here.

    © 2026 WTOP. All Rights Reserved. This website is not intended for users located within the European Economic Area.

    [ad_2]

    Gigi Barnett

    Source link

  • How I Discovered the Value of Imperfectionism and Made It My Team’s a Secret Weapon | Entrepreneur

    How I Discovered the Value of Imperfectionism and Made It My Team’s a Secret Weapon | Entrepreneur

    [ad_1]

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    When my company launched a community feature for our customers a couple of years ago, we made some incorrect assumptions in our messaging that derailed the campaign’s success. But when our creativity didn’t land, instead of learning from our mistakes, we made an even bigger error: we abandoned our efforts altogether. The truth? We were perfectionists struggling to face a fairly public failure. But instead of iterating on our campaign to improve it, we let it fizzle out.

    They say perfection is the enemy of progress, and I’ve seen this play out both in my own career and with many entrepreneurs. No matter how genius an offering is, the pressure of getting everything just right can often delay — or completely derail — a launch.

    Perfectionism is a well-known enemy of productivity, the root cause of many psychological disorders and a common answer to the interview question, “What is your biggest weakness?” But while we recognize perfectionism as a barrier to progress (and I certainly have), why do so many creative and innovative people still fall into its trap?

    Perfectionism might not be a new hindrance, but it is on the rise – and not just with entrepreneurs. A culture of competitive individualism, amplified by social media, pressures all of us to be flawless and can seriously undermine our ability to succeed in business. In fact, it almost certainly guarantees failure.

    The reality is, we all need to be able to take risks — and fail — in order to improve our work. Embracing the value of imperfection is the only viable way to get there.

    Perfectionism can be downright damaging

    As a recovering perfectionist, I now understand that perfectionists are more than just uptight overachievers. They can obsess over meeting exceptionally high standards and unrealistic expectations. They can even be highly self-critical and fear criticism from others. And yet many go into their entrepreneurial journey by comparing themselves to those who have already hit it big, blind to any mistakes those role models made along the way.

    Nearly every entrepreneurial success story is built on the back of countless failures – and many entrepreneurs are famous for it. But I’ve witnessed personally how striving for perfection from the outset doesn’t lead to a successful offering. In fact, the results can be the opposite: no launch at all. Perfectionism often holds would-be entrepreneurs and creators back from sharing their unique genius with the world and getting a finished product out in the market. However, there are ways to overcome it. And I should know: I’m still working on overcoming it myself.

    Fail small, win big

    After the communities launch failure (which, fortunately, was a small one in the grand scheme of things), I learned an invaluable lesson: the best way to handle failure is by examining it, embracing it and using it to improve, not by hiding from it and pretending it didn’t happen.

    Nowadays, we approach our launches much differently – in phases that allow us to test the waters, get feedback from our customers, and iterate on our approach and messaging until it hits just right.

    Making mistakes is par for the course in business, but learning from them and correcting the course is the only way to turn them into a net positive. Many of the most successful creators go a step further and share their failures publicly. Patreon’s CEO Jack Conte calls it normalizing the duds, and his approach is pure storytelling genius: a balance of humility and humor that makes his failures feel like an actual work of art.

    Getting past perfectionism

    As a recovering perfectionist, I know that embracing imperfectionism is easier said than done. We’re all operating within a hyper-competitive and often unforgiving business climate where every move (especially wrong moves made publicly) can be ruthlessly analyzed and criticized. We’ve all seen the chilling effects cancel culture has on individuals and businesses that have made irreparable mistakes.

    Moving past perfectionism means intentionally taking calculated risks and baking blunders right into the development process. Here are a few strategies we use to make that process more palatable:

    • Connect with a community of peers: Sharing imperfect work is easier when those around us are doing it too. Getting connected to a community of entrepreneurs in trial-and-error mode is the best way to see that you’re not alone. In fact, by becoming an entrepreneur, you’re part of a group of people in the business of overcoming failure. Whether you find that group through a coworking space or a software-related community, look to others who can accept critical feedback and allow it to inform progress.
    • Adopt a coaching mindset: Reminding yourself that nobody’s perfect is helpful because even seasoned experts make mistakes. Redefining the way I perceive failure (and success) meant rebranding missteps as an opportunity to iterate. You can even rewire your brain to appreciate critical feedback for the gift it is.
    • Look beyond the launch: Product, campaign or company launches often create an intensity that brings out your best work, but leaning into them too much can lead to a letdown – especially if the results don’t meet your expectations. I often tell my team not to put too much creative energy into something that will likely need to change once it’s in market. Even if it’s flawed, I know we’ll learn something as soon as it goes live that will enable us to improve it.

    The truth is, we all have moments of uncertainty. But no matter how uncomfortable it feels to put your creative work out there for judgment, the reality is that people will judge it whether you think it’s perfect or not. Accept that fact, cut yourself some slack and don’t let the idea of perfection hold you back from sharing your unique genius. Done is better than perfect, after all.

    [ad_2]

    Christie Horsman

    Source link

  • Obsessed with Control: Addressing Perfectionism and Codependence | Love And Life Toolbox

    Obsessed with Control: Addressing Perfectionism and Codependence | Love And Life Toolbox

    [ad_1]

    For some, asking for help feels like a threat; the need to do so invariably makes them feel inferior.

    “Why should I need to ask?” “You should already know!” In the game of emotional hot potato, we blame our partners for feeling vulnerable, more precisely, for feeling inferior. While something like asking for help or setting a boundary is common, individuals preoccupied with hierarchies view both as signs of weakness, indicators of a potential loss of power or position, or disrespect. Their worlds are like old-time movies, experienced in black and white.

    In that world, the kings expect to be served, having their every need predicted and, subsequently, fulfilled. So, when something goes wrong, and the king feels ashamed of himself for being unable to complete a task, he blames his servants for failing to aid him. In this context, he finds himself in a double bind. On the one hand, he feels vulnerable and inferior if asking for help (after all, such a human request is beneath a god) and, on the other, knows he’s unable to act independently. So, when he ultimately fails, taking responsibility is akin to losing face, the threat of which, he believes, implies a fall from grace.

    Ancient kings believed that the world was comprised of servants and gods on Earth (as well as their enemies, who lived in similar systems), whom the former obviously catered to. To the gods, their servants’ compliance wasn’t enough; in their partially-parental roles, they also needed to know how to protect those in their custody. Like children not knowing how to self-soothe, kings, more often than not, looked to their courts to manage and even preempt their negative feelings. Their oracles and soothsayers predicted great conquests. Their jesters cheered them up. Their councils were more often than not comprised of sycophants. And wives were merely indicators of their manhood. These individuals wanted, and received, the good parts of parenting, without being told what to do.

    Fundamentally, other-oriented perfectionism, the expectation that another be perfect, is codependence. I need you to be perfect so that I can feel safe and special.

    We see this dynamic repeatedly in therapy. Partners become enraged with their spouses for failing to mind-read, jumping to the conclusion that they must not love them. Codependence, the excessive need to be emotionally and physically cared for, can look like love. Some of our patients, either having grown up with that type of love or having been severely neglected, perceive codependence as their individual right. And their partners should always know how lucky they are. Perfectionists of all types deeply struggle with black and white, hierarchical thinking. They hyper-focus on slights and chronically seek and find reasons to feel superior to you.

    One of the core problems here is of inflexibility. Most people become upset and feel hurt when a partner fails to consider them in relation to something they believe is significant. But, if being inconsiderate is revealed as a character flaw, the other tends to move on. Yet, for those individuals with a deep need for control, any loss feels intolerable. Each one feels personal, not revealing a trait of the other but her own inherently defective spirit. Her need to feel invulnerable is deep, yet her resilience is shallow.

    In treatment, we focus on what asking for help actually means and whether doing so, in reality, necessarily reduces one’s status. People, sometimes, erroneously believe that admitting a mistake means they’re less than human, but doing so is one of the fundamental markers of being human. The more benign side of this coin is that admitting a mistake or asking for help can also contribute to feeling like a burden, again the black and white thinking of inferiority and superiority, yet, on the contrary, both gestures imply humility and the need for another, which often binds people together. Hierarchy can and should be minimized. You aren’t that special and you aren’t that much of a burden, either. Finding that spot, your exact place in the world, is one of the points of therapy.

    Written by Leon Garber, LMHC. Shared with permission from Leon’s Existential Cafe.

    —–

    Leon Garber is a philosophical writer, contemplating and elucidating the deep recesses of man’s soul. He is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor/Psychotherapist — specializing in Existential Psychotherapy, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, and Trauma Therapy — and manages a blog exploring issues of death, self-esteem, love, freedom, life-meaning, and mental health/mental illness, from both empirical and personal viewpoints.

    [ad_2]

    Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

    Source link

  • The Problem with Perfectionism and How to Move Away From It | LoveAndLifeToolBox

    The Problem with Perfectionism and How to Move Away From It | LoveAndLifeToolBox

    [ad_1]

    The need to be perfect, perfectionism, can be a real challenge for people, impacting personal happiness and general well-being.  Perfectionistic behavior can also negatively impact relationships.  The problem is that there is often a real benefit to having your act together, being extremely detail oriented and seemingly able to do it all.  And you may get a lot of positive feedback from those around you that reinforces this behavior.  The reward system can be plentiful in this way.  However the long term consequences of constantly trying to live up to such a high bar can be significant not only your emotional health but your closest relationships.

    The problem with perfectionism is it’s a set up.

    Human beings are not created to do anything perfectly.  Human beings make mistakes.  So at some point the perfectionist will do the same and likely endure a lot of suffering as a result.  The drive to be perfect can be intense; high stress levels, anxiety or fear of NOT doing things perfectly and exhaustion.  It’s a set up because it’s not only unsustainable but can have further consequences:

    • Impact on your own happiness.  Perhaps you weaponize your drive to be perfect against yourself.
    • Impact on your relationships.  Maybe those closest are often not experiencing you as emotionally available as you fixate on your task of the moment.

    Loneliness can be a byproduct of perfectionism, having a rigid idea of how things should be done…and only you know what that is.  Getting help and support from others can be challenging for the perfectionist. And you may turn them off from helping.

    From the Forbes piece, Pitfalls of Perfectionism: Letting Go and Finding Freedom in Achieving Excellence, “Perfectionists can struggle with moving on as they tend to internalize their failure and blame themselves. They can be hypersensitive to criticism and, as a result, fail to learn from their mistakes. People who are successful understand that failure is an inherent part of learning and growing.”

    The are often roots to perfectionism.

    Take the time to look at your past to see if there are clues as to why you have taken on this trait.  Is it possible you took on perfectionism as a coping strategy during a time you felt out of control?  There are a number of good reasons to explain how people lean in to this kind of behavior including:

    • Chaos in the home; substance abuse, high conflict relationships, etc
    • High expectations by parents
    • Perfectionism was modeled by a parent

    How to begin to steer towards a more balanced perspective.

    The first step towards shifting away from perfectionism is noticing when it comes up for you in the first place.  The act of “noticing” is really the first step in any kind of effort to change patterns of behavior.  Much of the time, it’s automatic and out awareness.  Notice how many times of day you are caught in perfectionistic thinking.

    Another important aspect to making real change is to understand the roots of your perfectionism.  There is likely a valid reason why it served you well at one point, or was a coping mechanism of some kind.  If you aren’t clear on this part, a therapist with a focus on family of origin work can help.

    As you start to try to change, you will likely encounter your inner critic who will push back on the idea that you don’t need to do this.  Identify helpful self-talk to unwind you out of such rigid thinking.  “What’s the worst thing that can happen if…”  Practice self-compassion as you do this work.  Again, a therapist may be appropriate to help you navigate through and out to the other side.

    Making any change in how you function should always be seen as a work in progress.  It can take time to unwind old patterns and with perfectionism, you may need a number of experiments in which you learn that “good enough” is actually ok.

    4

    [ad_2]

    Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

    Source link

  • The Problem with Perfectionism and How to Move Away From It | LoveAndLifeToolBox

    The Problem with Perfectionism and How to Move Away From It | LoveAndLifeToolBox

    [ad_1]

    The need to be perfect, perfectionism, can be a real challenge for people, impacting personal happiness and general well-being.  Perfectionistic behavior can also negatively impact relationships.  The problem is that there is often a real benefit to having your act together, being extremely detail oriented and seemingly able to do it all.  And you may get a lot of positive feedback from those around you that reinforces this behavior.  The reward system can be plentiful in this way.  However the long term consequences of constantly trying to live up to such a high bar can be significant not only your emotional health but your closest relationships.

    The problem with perfectionism is it’s a set up.

    Human beings are not created to do anything perfectly.  Human beings make mistakes.  So at some point the perfectionist will do the same and likely endure a lot of suffering as a result.  The drive to be perfect can be intense; high stress levels, anxiety or fear of NOT doing things perfectly and exhaustion.  It’s a set up because it’s not only unsustainable but can have further consequences:

    • Impact on your own happiness.  Perhaps you weaponize your drive to be perfect against yourself.
    • Impact on your relationships.  Maybe those closest are often not experiencing you as emotionally available.

    Loneliness in your experience can also come up as perfectionism often comes with a pretty strict idea of how things should be done…and only you know what that is.  Getting help and support from others can be very challenging for the perfectionist.

    The are often roots to perfectionism.

    Take the time to look at your past to see if there are clues as to why you have taken on this trait.  Is it possible you took on perfectionism as a coping strategy during a time you felt out of control?  There are a number of good reasons to explain how people lean in to this kind of behavior including:

    • Chaos in the home
    • High expectations by parents
    • Perfectionism was modeled

    How to begin to steer towards a more balanced perspective.

    The first step towards shifting away from perfectionism is noticing when it comes up for you in the first place.  The act of “noticing” is really the first step in any kind of effort to change patterns of behavior.  Much of the time, it’s automatic and out awareness.  Notice how many times of day you are driven to reach the high bar.

    Another important aspect to making real change is to understand the roots of your perfectionism.  There is likely a valid reason why it served you well at one point, or was a coping mechanism of some kind.  If you aren’t clear on this part, a therapist with a focus on family of origin work can help.

    As you start to try to change, you will likely encounter your inner critic who will push back on the idea that you don’t need to do this.  Practicing self-compassion as you do this work is critical.  Again, a therapist may be appropriate to help you navigate through and out to the other side.

    Making any change in how you function should always be seen as a work in progress.  It can take time to unwind old patterns and with perfectionism, you may need a number of experiments in which you learn that “good enough” is actually ok.

    1

    [ad_2]

    Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

    Source link