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I’m in the midst of updating our guide to the best dating apps for professional women, but I thought an open thread might be fun — what are your favorite dating apps as a professional woman? If you’re currently dating — what’s actually working for you? Have certain apps improved? Declined? Surprised you? Are you using the “burned haystack” method of dating?
(If you’re recently coupled, what is your best advice to women who are still on the hunt? What’s worth the time and money — and what is just noise?)
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Here’s an easy question for today: what’s the nicest thing you’ve bought for your office, whether at home or at work? Did you splurge on a decorator or a fancy chair, or perhaps a great piece of art? Do share…
When I was at the law firm, I didn’t splurge very much on my office because it all felt really temporary, even though I was there for six years — but some of my colleagues definitely had couches, artwork, even (for the partners) wallpaper and drapes.
For my current home office, I think the nicest thing I bought for my office was splurging on a decorator — I have a navy and hot pink theme (shocker) but it feels pulled together and happy — it’s also nice to have a somewhat girly space, complete with a hot pink armchair and a bookshelf displaying all my fashion-related books.
My artwork purchases have been pretty thrifty — I have a painting that I absolutely adore but got at a local auction for $50, so it wasn’t terribly expensive. Based on reader recommendations, I also recently bought a Steelcase Leap chair on auction for about $150. (No complaints, although it’s so much lower than my former Ikea chair… I’m still kind of getting used to it!)
Otherwise, my big office expenses have been tech things… two monitors, a nice computer that now needs to be upgraded, etc.
How about you guys — what’s the nicest thing you’ve bought for your office, whether at home or at work? Did you splurge on a decorator or a fancy chair, or perhaps a great piece of art?
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Since the early days of Blue Apron, Hello Fresh, and Plated (it’s been a bit over a decade since then!), the number of meal kit services has skyrocketed. That’s great if you got bored with the companies you originally used, or if you have dietary restrictions that are now better accommodated, but how are you supposed to decide among so many options?!
While we’ve talked about easy weeknight dinners, meal planning apps, and meal prepping, we haven’t focused on meal kit delivery services before — so let’s chat about it today! (Somehow it seems like a good topic for a Monday, doesn’t it?)
If you’ve used meal kits to simplify and streamline your meal planning and cooking, did they work for you? (By the way, while meal kits got much more popular during the pandemic, they’re not doing as well now. Have you seen any better deals out there because of that?)
What Are The Best Meal Kit Services?
Here are a few questions to get the conversation started:
1. What are your favorite meal kit services, and why? Any fails?
2. Which companies do you think have the best options for special diets — vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, keto, and so on?
3. For readers with kids: Which meal kits have turned out to be child-friendly?
4. Which companies’ kits seem to produce more or less waste?
If you prefer meal delivery services — no assembly required! — let us know your recs for those, too! Readers have mentioned Factor, Thistle, and Spinly in the past.
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Mother’s Day is May 12 — what are you getting your mom? What have you gotten her in previous years that has been a hit? (Alternately: have you read any amazing book, consumed any amazing foodstuff, or have any other great gift ideas that you’d love to recommend to others?)
Some of Our Reviews on Classic Gift Ideas:
Here’s Kat’s Nixplay review (WiFi photo frames; great gifts for grandparents) — she still loves them!
I think Society6 is a great spot for a ton of gift ideas, including beautiful trays, rugs, and more — I personally have an acrylic tray, two different bath rugs, a shower curtain, and several pillow covers.
I always love to splurge on quality sheets for holidays — last December the selection at Garnet Hill was so good I just got my MIL a gift card because I couldn’t choose just one! My favorites for summer include linen sheets from Lands’ End and Brooklinen, and LL Bean’s percale sheets.
This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
When readers have discussed love languages in the comments over the years, we’ve definitely seen a split. Most who have mentioned them recommend using the concept within a relationship to help understand each other better. Others say the concept of five love languages has dubious origins or that it can be weaponized within relationships.
A Washington Post story [gift link] in this week’s Brain Matters column has an attention-grabbing headline: “Does your ‘love language’ really matter? Scientists are skeptical.” It was written by a neuroscientist turned science journalist, so it definitely has more of a factual focus than most articles about the topic.
First off, though, in case not everyone is familiar with the love languages philosophy, here’s a rundown. Gary Chapman, a Baptist pastor who had counseled couples for years (though not as a therapist), published The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts in 1992. It has sold more than 20 million copies.
Chapman wrote that each of us has a primary and secondary love language and that partners need to learn each other’s languages and act accordingly. (If you’re interested, here’s the quiz to discover yours.)
Here’s an excerpt from the Washington Post story:
This month, a paper published in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science reviewed the scientific literature and concluded that core assumptions about love languages stand upon shaky ground unsupported by empirical evidence.
The article shares the researchers’ findings: (1) “People don’t really have a primary love language.” (2) “There are more than five love languages.” (3) “Sharing the same love language may not improve your relationship.” (Note: The book emphasizes identifying each other’s love language and learning to “speak” it, not that partners need to share one.)
A few more excerpts are below:
One key concern about love language advice is that it could be interpreted as suggesting the unhappy partner change or compromise their own needs rather than finding common ground.
* * *
John Gottman, one of the pioneers of scientific relationship research, is also skeptical that learning your partner’s love language is a key to relationship happiness. “My general conclusion is that these dimensions are not very distinct conceptually, nor are they very important in terms of accounting for variation in marital happiness and sexual satisfaction,”
* * *
[Psychologist Emily] Impett said she hopes the research challenging love languages can start “conversations between partners about the importance of all kinds of needs, maybe opens up conversation of there being other idiosyncratic needs that people have in relationships.”
Readers, do tell! Do you think the love languages concept can be helpful in relationships? Has it improved your own? Have you read the book?
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Hat tip to the readers, who had a great threadjack along these lines several months ago… here was the original question that kickstarted the discussion:
Anyone ever consider (or actually take) a mid-career sabbatical? I am so burned out from work I’ve been fantasizing about it more than usual lately. In my ideal world I’d take a year off, sell my house and travel in the camper van I’m converting. I am thoroughly into the idea that you shouldn’t wait until retirement to do the things you want to do, and really like the concept of taking a mini-retirement during my working years. Anyone else care to fantasize with me? What would you do if you took time off from work?
Different Types of Sabbaticals
Some jobs allow sabbaticals and even encourage them — certainly academia but a number of readers noted that their law firms allowed this also. Note that even if it’s allowed or encouraged at your workplace, sabbaticals are unpaid — so obviously you need to have enough in savings to cushion you during those months.
Another way people take career breaks is as a long pause between jobs. One reader noted that she was planning one so she could travel to see friends and family:
I am tentatively planning on doing this next year but for 2-3 months. I have elementary-age kids and a partner with a flexible schedule. Our plan is to travel to see lots of friends and family we haven’t seen in years/have never visited and be able to spend real time with them and explore the areas we will visit. I am calling it a sabbatical but really it is a gift to myself after a natural ending point for one job and a respite before I look for/start another. I hope I can actually follow through with the plan!
Can You Take a Career Break or Sabbatical if You’re In a Big Job?
We heard from a number of readers with “big jobs” — Big 4, MBB, and even a small law firm — who noted that they were either planning or had taken a career break or sabbatical.
Another reader noted that she had quit her stressful job and was taking her time to find a new job (and, I’m sure, destress and reflect). She was filling her time with fun things:
I quit my job at a Big 4 back in March and I’m slowly taking my time to find a new job. I’ve been spending time on big house projects, visiting family, taking daytime fitness classes that normally do not fit in my schedule, and volunteering. I recently turned 50 and diligently saved for the past 25 years so I could afford to take this time.
Another woman at a stressful job was planning a sabbatical:
Oh my gosh yes. Do it. I’m a young partner at a law firm (small firm) and am tentatively planning a 4- week sabbatical next year. I have flexibility and no issue meeting billable par, but I know my firm will freak, at the same time, I want to do it before my retiring partner actually retires and while my main associate is between maternity leaves.
My dream for a year would be living on a pretty small budget and planning it could take another 6 months to re-enter. I’d probably do a monthly lunch with key contacts for at least 3-6 months at the end to try to make re-entry less painful. I’d absolutely try to take a leave of absence from my job if it was allowed. I’m single no kids so health insurance isn’t crazy expensive but I’d still want to make sure I understood coverage in all the places I’d travel. I can barely imagine a year but I think I would: – stay home for a month straight. (I get you’re selling but I just crave time at home) – see my relatives. One surviving grandparent, my retired aunt, etc. – read so so many books. – take walks. Get into a doable, consistent workout routine. Take classes at weird times that are smaller sized. – take up a hobby with my hands for my long term mental health. – volunteer for something that is way more time consuming than I can usually handle. – learn to cook. Host inexpensive casual gatherings with a couple close friends every month or so. – re evaluate whether I want to try to start a part time online business or consulting gig 4-5 months in. – travel – safe, cheap, but I’d want to plan it after my first month because I just wouldn’t have time to savor anticipation on my way out to start the sabbatical. My pay depends on my work product so I couldn’t phone it in on the way out.
Still another reader from a “big job” chimed in about her experience when she left MBB in her early thirties:
I took about a year off, spent 2 months at a meditation retreat, learned how to kiteboard and did several other bucket list outdoor adventures, including a through hike. It was all pre husband and kids, but a decade later, we’re trying to do something similar with the whole fam.
Would a Mid-Career Sabbatical Stress You Out Too Much?
Still other readers noted that a mid-career sabbatical would stress them out too much, especially if they were just taking a career break after quitting their job. One reader noted that a sabbatical “feels like a “pipe dream. I get the midlife and midcareer burnout, believe me.”
Another reader shared her tips on what to do instead of a career break:
…I can’t imagine wanting the stress that comes with getting a job, house, etc., again. The key is figuring out how to create balance in your own life. For me, that’s really understanding that my job isn’t my value in this world, it’s what I do to live the life I want and my employer’s stresses are not mine to take home.
