One of the greatest gifts that the universe bestowed upon mgk was his ability to impact and comfort many people through his honest storytelling, and his recent single ‘times of my life’ is the ultimate proof. After yearsssss of fans asking for this melancholic song from the Tickets To My Downfall studio sessions – which leaked after he took it off the tracklist – he revisited it with Travis Barker and some of his closest musical friends, who helped him create the triumphant lost americana last year. It feels like an amalgamation of so many of his different eras, between the seeming inclusion on the future deluxe edition of lost americana, its origins during the Tickets To My Downfall sessions, and the Hotel Diablo umbrella he holds in the music video.
In the days since ‘times of my life’ came out, I’ve seen fellow EST adopt this song into their lives in so many beautiful ways, from celebrating the fun memories they’ve made at concerts (partly fueled by the song appearing on the pre-show playlist at the lost americana Tour) to cherishing the time they got to spend with loved ones who have passed. And I know I speak for most mgk fans when I say that this release proves just how moving his music can be.
“I hope you are fine knowing you hold all my best times
And without you, I’m lying to myself saying that you’ll come find me…”
Like so much of EST, mgk’s music found me when I needed it the most. He had pretty good timing because I heard ‘I Think I’m OKAY’ on the radio for the first time on a day that wound up flipping my life upside down. Hotel Diablo became a lifeline in the fallout from that day as I tried to figure out where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be. I didn’t necessarily relate to the specific stories or topics, but I admired how open Kells was about things that are very difficult to be open about. It’s like he knew that his own catharsis would be cathartic for others and pushed through to deliver that for the people who needed to hear an honest success story from a fellow underdog with the odds stacked against him.
Hotel Diablo doesn’t close with a happy ending, but ‘I Think I’m OKAY’ is the perfect conclusion. It sees Colson admitting, “I think something’s f**king wrong with me.” He knows that the power isn’t in pretending you’re fine, but knowing that just being “okay” is enough sometimes. Still standing after going through difficult, life-altering things like he describes throughout the album is a victory in itself. He owns up to his vices, destructive tendencies, and dissatisfaction with his life at the time in a way that’s refreshingly raw and real.
He spoke to Genius about the “it’s just my life and I can take it if I wanna” lyric, explaining that the darker meaning you might hear at first listen isn’t the full story, much like how there’s a whole life on the other side of whatever you’re facing at the moment.
I think a lot of people think it immediately means suicide, and I think it’s really just, like, ‘I can take back my life.’ Take your destiny into your own hands. You know, manifest what you want and make your life yours.
mgk to Genius
The Tickets To My Downfall era epitomized that idea, bringing mgk into the pop-punk spotlight after years of being a massive fan and integrating rock’s most distinctive elements into songs like ‘Save Me’ (featuring Avenged Sevenfold’s M. Shadows and Synyster Gates) and the Kellin Quinn-assisted ‘Swing Life Away.’ A few hours before he recorded ‘Save Me,’ as shown in the song’s music video, he told Slim, “I just don’t see stuff going very well.” Slim pushed, “So you wanna give up and quit? Sh*t on me, sh*t on everybody?” This is the album cycle where things started going very, very well for mgk and his rightful recognition as a music icon, holding his musical family and EST close to his heart in the midst of a massive rise.
With help from one of Colson’s musical heroes, Travis Barker, Tickets To My Downfall taught us how to dance through destruction and embrace the fun in life that coexists with what’s bringing us down. It was exactly what the world needed in the midst of the COVID pandemic, delivering nostalgia and pure joy to EST and pop-punk fans on a wider scale. In the process, it became mgk’s first #1 album on the Billboard 200 and has since gotten a 2x Platinum certification.
It felt like he had finally hit his stride and I was starting to find mine, too. I started blogging just a few months after Tickets To My Downfall came out and joined The Honey POP a little while later. He was embracing his lifelong love of pop-punk and I was embracing my lifelong love of immersive music and the artists behind it. He doubled down on it with mainstream sellout, a heavier sister album of sorts that also hit #1, and I kept exploring new content formats and topics, even writing an analytical review of the record for THP.
Where Tickets To My Downfall felt like a rebellious rave of sorts, mainstream sellout addressed similar topics and themes with a less playful attitude and a less shimmery sonic mood. mgk told Sunday TODAY, “I went and studied Tickets and I heard the bright sound that I had, and for this album, I just turned the lights off.” You can hear the shift from the very first track – ‘title track’ reveled in his infamy while “selling tickets to [his] downfall,” but ‘born with horns’ acknowledges “there’s no happy endings” and sees Kells taking a more honest, direct approach while describing his mental health struggles and qualms about the spotlight.
His openness about the ups and downs of being a polarizing figure in the music industry sparked a lot of thought about how artists are treated online, and even earned mgk his first-ever GRAMMY nomination in the Best Rock Album category. The man who wondered whether his hard work would ever truly pay off before recording ‘Save Me’ had officially broken through and created a thought-provoking project that demanded respect and recognition from his peers and the powers that be.
My own journey through the music industry eventually brought me to one of the coolest, most meaningful opportunities I’ve received to date: becoming a mod for mgk’s official Discord server! I wore my Tickets To My Downfall hoodie on launch day and watched as thousands of passionate fans joined in, excitedly connecting with each other and eventually Kells himself. The server felt, and still feels, like a place where EST can tune out the noise of traditional social media and the world around us to unite over what we love. It’s a reminder of how magical things can be when we come together for good, perfectly tying into the fandom name of Everyone Stands Together.
In July 2024, we came together to celebrate the fifth anniversary of Hotel Diablo with an interactive trivia puzzle throughout the server. And in one of the two most full-circle mgk moments in my life, I got to host a live Q&A with him for the puzzle winners and EST. Over 400 people who completed the puzzle got to listen in, while the fastest few to finish it were able to ask him their own questions. I talked to him about Hotel Diablo, we joked about the 32483498 nicknames he has, and he even took the time to thank me personally at the end of the event. It was such an honor to make my personal dream of interviewing him come true while sharing the moment with fans who love him just as much.
Hearing his excitement about crossing over into country with Jelly Roll on ‘Lonely Road’ (which hadn’t been officially announced yet) and seeing how much EST loved connecting with him on a deeper level had me reconsidering the possibilities of my own career in the music industry. And somehow, things made more sense to me than ever in an industry that’s constantly changing and shifting. It reminded me that there are truly no limits unless you put them on yourself or let the people trying to put them on you have the last word, something mgk has never let them do. Like our favorite rap-rock chameleon, you can try new things and take new paths and have fun with them even if they’re not what you initially imagined for yourself. In my case, it’s been expanding beyond blogging into music marketing and fandom engagement, wanting to “champion artists” like he said I do on the call and help them grow their bonds with fans, so more people can experience how powerful a kind, devoted fanbase like EST can be.
The second full-circle moment I’ve had with mgk came about a year and a half after the Q&A. After that formative day I mentioned earlier, when I heard ‘I Think I’m OKAY’ for the first time, anxiety became a really obstructive force in my life that separated me from some of the things I loved most. Colson’s music was right by my side through so much and the ultimate test of that was braving various fears to go see him live at the lost americana Tour. Anxiety is still something I regularly deal with, and I expect it will continue to be that way, but screaming all the lyrics to ‘I Think I’m OKAY’ with 12,000 other people made one of the most fragile parts of me feel like things could be okay again.
I don’t know who I’d be right now if mgk hadn’t stumbled into my life and music library. As I sit here recounting my favorite EST memories, wearing the same Tickets To My Downfall hoodie I wore the day the Discord server launched, it feels so surreal that just happening to hear a certain song on the radio six years ago has had such an impact on my life. But that’s part of the magic of mgk. You never know where his music will lead you, whether it’s through genres, through immersive lyrical stories, or through chapters and experiences that shape you.
To Colson and EST, some of the best times of my life were the ones when I was with you. Here’s to many more for all of us <3
What ‘times of [your] life’ did mgk help you through? Do you have any predictions for a possible deluxe edition of lost americana? Let us know in the comments below or hit us up on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter! You can also buzz on over to our Reddit community to chat with us.
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