Tag: mental health for musicians

On a small stage in Near Southside, two local musicians took their seats among the instruments set up for Wednesday night’s show.

But these artists weren’t going to perform here at Tulips FTW, one of the many venues for this week’s Jambaloo music festival across the Metroplex. Instead, they wanted to talk about something more important.

This was a panel discussion on the unique mental health challenges that musicians face.

“I started a band. I hope people like me. I totally want to like myself. It took me a long time,” said Jenni Rose, frontwoman for the cowpunk group Vandoliers, describing what initially drew her into music.

Joining Rose on stage were Cameron McCloud, founder and leader of hip-hop collective Cure for Paranoia, and Kirk Stafford, a music business insider turned psychotherapist. The moderator was Peter Thomas, a psychologist who is vice president of Dallas-based Amplified Minds, a mental health organization catering to people in creative fields, which sponsored the event.

One of the big takeaways was that those challenges don’t differ all that much from the ones people from every walk of life face: dealing with rejection, finding community and, ultimately, learning to like yourself.

“I remember writing in my journal at 16,” McCloud said. “The goal was to be successful enough to be myself. That was the only reason that I was like, ‘I’m going to be so good at rapping, so good at doing music that it’s like, it doesn’t matter what is quote-unquote, wrong with me.’”

Thomas said the majority of musicians he’d counseled “started off as kids who just wanted people to like them,” a sentiment that resonated with all three panelists. Even Stafford, who worked at Universal Music before shifting careers, said making friends was difficult for him as a child, causing him to become suicidal in high school.

And while writing songs and earning the adoration of fans can fill some of the void of not being accepted, the music industry itself can exacerbate mental health issues.

Thomas pointed out how it’s often the troubled artists whom people most romanticize, so there can be warped expectations in terms of how a musician should behave. Musicians are also fed a steady diet of the word “no,” fighting through near constant rejection on the path to becoming relevant. And when they do reach relevance, there’s the pressure to remain so, Thomas added.

McCloud said he is medicated for bipolar disorder and paranoid schizophrenia, and Rose said she’s on medication and sees a therapist weekly for her mental health struggles.

Rose is also three years sober, and last year she came out as trans, giving her a new perspective on the world and her place in it.

One of the things she’s done since coming out, Rose said, is talk more honestly about who she is and what she feels. That’s come through in her songwriting as well, which Rose said has gotten much more personal in recent years.

That could be one reason why, as Rose said, Vandoliers are more popular than ever. But even with that success and the changes she’s made, Rose admitted life isn’t always easy, in part because her feelings are no longer numbed by drink and drugs.

“When I feel sad, I feel very sad,” said Rose. “And when I feel anxious, I feel very anxious. And when I feel happy, I feel very happy.”

And while Rose acknowledged happiness is fleeting, she said the same is true for negative feelings.

“Sometimes it’s a day, sometimes it’s an hour, sometimes it’s a minute, sometimes it’s a second. But you’re going to get through it, and there is another side to it. It is only time.”

One of the reasons Stafford was on the panel is because he’ll soon start leading a free, weekly group therapy session in Fort Worth at the Wellness Center Health and Therapy, 5521 Bellaire Drive South, Suite 114.

The sessions, which are put on by Amplified Minds, will be held Sundays at 2 p.m. beginning March 1. The group is geared toward artists, performers, writers and service industry professionals, but any Texan over 18 is welcome to attend.

“At the beginning… it might be a little slow,” Stafford said. “But creating the space and having the space there is what’s important. And if we do it long enough, we put the word out strong enough, it’s not going to be hard to fill up. There’s a need.”

There is a need, especially in the artist community, where health insurance is rare and most are just cobbling out a living. But, as McCloud reminded the panel audience, there is more to a career than just making money. His motivation is finding meaning, especially after his mom passed away last year. And McCloud’s quest for meaning isn’t a selfish one.

“I always say on stage that I’m different from other artists that perform because it isn’t my goal to get you to like me; my goal is to get you to like yourself. My whole point in being in Cure for Paranoia is to make people feel less crazy, make people feel less — I know it sounds corny, but less sad.”

Now in its second year, the Jambaloo festival opened Feb. 7 and runs through Feb. 15, bringing top local musicians to Fort Worth venues — and charging zero cover to see them thanks to financial support from the Mullen and Mullen Music Project and local sponsors, including KXT radio and WFAA.

As part of the festival, Rose is playing the Post in Fort Worth (2736 W. 6th St.; doors at 7 p.m.) on Feb. 12. On Feb. 13, you can catch Dallas rock legends Tripping Daisy at Tulips (112 St. Louis Ave.; doors at 6 p.m.) or Splendor! behind Tulips at Low Doubt Bar (doors at 9 p.m.)