Every company has them: the “work spouses.”
I have five of them on my leadership team.
We are responsible for important decisions, bold strategies, and the overall direction of our company. Yet sometimes, despite our collective brilliance, we struggle to make smart decisions just like many teams do in a choice-loaded marketplace. We get there in the end, mostly because we practice LQ Listening Intelligence before the debate veers us off course.
Take our most recent technology purchase debate. The question was simple: Should we adopt a new enterprise platform? Five leaders entered the discussion with five different listening filters. Within minutes, the conversation resembled five tabs of a browser loading completely different websites.
One person cared about numbers. Another cared about how the team would feel. Someone else focused on workflow impact. One leader was thinking a decade ahead. And another was quietly trying to survive Monday.
Individually, everyone was thoughtful and competent. But collectively, it felt like a group project that belonged in a corporate escape room. Luckily, we know this is not a competence problem, but rather a listening problem.
Why active listening is not enough
Say the word “listening” in a business setting and someone will inevitably preach the virtues of active listening. This usually involves intense nodding, repeating back someone’s words, and a level of eye contact that borders on competitive staring.
Active listening is not wrong. It is simply incomplete, and in many cases, performative. The intention, empathy, and making someone feel heard, has its place. But it is extremely limited when collaboration and innovation are needed. It also doesn’t explain why two smart people can hear the same information and walk away with completely different conclusions.
Many leaders describe themselves as good listeners or bad listeners. That framing is inaccurate, too.
Listening isn’t a moral endeavor. It is a cognitive process. The brain develops patterns that determine what you notice, what you ignore, what you treat as important, and what you write off as irrelevant. These patterns become habitual and automatic, much like an operating system that runs without your permission.
This is where LQ Listening Intelligence, comes in. Our model and curricula is grounded in nearly two decades of research showing that listening is a brain-based function, not a behavioral performance. LQ Listening Intelligence is backed by the ECHO Listening Profile, our scientifically validated cognitive assessment that measures and identifies four predictable listening filters that shape collaboration, communication, and decision making.
The 4 listening habits running your meetings
The Connective habit listens for people, relationships, and trust. The Reflective habit listens through the lens of personal relevance. The Analytical habit listens for data, accuracy, and logic. The Conceptual habit listens for big ideas, future potential, and possibilities.
These habits are not personality shortcomings. They are cognitive filters built by your experiences, knowledge, and what your brain has decided matters most. They shape decision making long before words are spoken out loud.
Now imagine a team that does not know which filters are present when making critical decisions. People talk past each other. Someone feels dismissed. Someone else feels pressured. Someone wonders why no one understands what they are saying. Meetings run long. Decisions stall. The problem is not the decision itself. The problem is how everyone is listening to each other.
Cognitive diversity is a strategic advantage
The power of LQ is not in making everyone listen in the same way and to immediately agree on the same solution. It is in helping teams understand and leverage the cognitive diversity already in the room. Once leaders understand their dominant listening habits, they can intentionally stretch beyond them. This builds what we call listening muscle.
- Analytical listeners can embrace uncertainty instead of demanding perfect data.
- Conceptual listeners can wait for details to settle before leaping into the future.
- Connective listeners can ask for supporting information instead of relying on intuition.
- Reflective listeners can zoom out beyond their own department.
Better decisions come from integrating and harnessing different perspectives, not flattening them.
Back to the great software showdown
Our leadership team knows that our different listening habits could derail productive collaboration, so instead of focusing on our competing perspectives, we lean into truly hearing one another’s perspectives and concerns. We leverage our collective brain power while also agreeing on shared decision criteria before evaluating solutions. Our conversation is clearer, shorter, and far more productive. No drama. No politics. No guessing games.
The bottom line
Your leadership team does not need to think alike. It needs to listen with awareness and great appreciation for differing viewpoints. When you understand how your brain filters information, you can adapt. When teams understand one another’s filters, collaboration becomes faster and more strategic. You do not reduce conflict. You turn it into useful data, and you make better decisions in less time with lower stress.
The LQ model is not about paying more attention, unwavering eye contact, nodding harder, or pretending to actively listen. It is about understanding how your mind processes information, appreciating what you may have missed that your colleague prioritized, and using that collective knowledge to make better, more strategic decisions. Because the quality of your decisions will only be as strong as the quality of the conversations that shape them.
Teams can embrace, but also leverage their differences to be smarter together than any one leader can be on their own.
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Anne Descalzo
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