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Tag: Meet Cute

  • The meet-cute is alive and well: Finding love and friendship in South Florida

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    Annmarie and Theodor Haerry met online. ‘Good people are out there, and [we] couldn’t have been more different in our backgrounds,’ Annmarie says. ‘South Florida brings people together.’

    Annmarie and Theodor Haerry met online. ‘Good people are out there, and [we] couldn’t have been more different in our backgrounds,’ Annmarie says. ‘South Florida brings people together.’

    Courtesy of Annmarie Haerry

    Meaningful connections can happen anytime and anywhere. A late run to the gas station. A midday visit to the dog park. Maybe the quiet corner of a house party.

    With Valentine’s Day around the corner, couples all around South Florida will be celebrating their love and, possibly, reminiscing about their own meet-cute — the term used for chance meetings in romantic comedies.

    But love and companionship come in different packages (and they are all great for you). So ahead of the day of romance, WLRN wanted to celebrate the moments of serendipity that bring not just partners, but also close friends together.

    We asked people in South Florida to share their stories of finding love or forming genuine friendships. Here is what they had to say.

    Going the distance

    Love is not a game of chance for Annmarie.

    The native of Jamaica had what she called her weekly “online dating protocol.” Every Friday, she would go to her home office, pull up her inbox and check for new messages on dating service Match.com.

    “ That’s my philosophy. If you wanna meet someone, then you have to put [in] the time and effort,” she said.

    As a graduate student, part-time nurse and mother to a 13-year-old boy, Annmarie did not have much wiggle room in her schedule to wait around for “Mr. Right”. In 2004, she hoped that came across in her dating profile, where she captioned a photo of herself with the tagline “modern girl with old fashioned ideals.”

    She found a match in Theodor Haerry, a Florida Atlantic University professor from Switzerland. He ticked all her boxes. They had common interests such as playing tennis, traveling and going to the opera.

    Even still, 50 miles of South Florida traffic kept them apart. Annmarie lived in Aventura and Theodor in Boca Raton. Without the help of online dating, their paths would have never crossed.

    “ Good people are out there, and [we] couldn’t have been more different in our backgrounds,” she said. “South Florida brings people together.”

    They count themselves lucky that their values and interests aligned. They said they were honest, open-minded and committed to finding a lifelong partner.

    “ In the end, a lot of relationships go south because of money. Religion can [also] be a problem. From the beginning, everything was on the table, and it was clear where this relationship [could] go,” Theodor said.

    Annmarie told WLRN she had no idea that Theodor’s first online message would start a new chapter of her life. Two weeks of long phone calls later, the busy university students met for lunch on a sunny Saturday afternoon. They clicked immediately.

    ”I earnestly wanted to have a partner, a person in my life, so when I met Theo, I felt whole because all the stuff I was doing — I loved it. I enjoyed it, but I said this was what was missing.”

    Annmarie and Theodor have been married for 20 years.

    A standing lunch invitation

    Robert Lyle keeps track of the small wins — like when his friend Jim climbed up the stairs without the help of his cane.

    Robert Lyle, left, met his friend Jim in an online support group for people who have loved ones with dementia.
    Robert Lyle, left, met his friend Jim in an online support group for people who have loved ones with dementia. Courtesy of Robert Lyle

    Jim was recovering from a medical procedure and told Robert. It’s part of their ongoing ritual of tracking what they call “micro-success” No victory is too small in their friendship.

    “We know so much about each other, and we share our thoughts and our feelings,” Robert said. “It’s probably been the longest close personal friendship that I’ve ever had.”

    Parallel experiences brought the octogenarians together in South Florida.

    A couple of years ago, Lyle’s wife started exhibiting signs of dementia, so he joined an online support group, where he met Jim.

    “ When you’ve got a spouse who’s got dementia, you really need support. I didn’t know anything about it, didn’t know how to deal with it,” Robert said.

    Shortly after connecting, they learned that both of their wives were staying at the same memory-care facility in Boca Raton. They struck up an easy friendship that started with an invitation to lunch.

    “At our age, you don’t find very many people to say, ‘Hey, let’s go have a drink together,’ and we enjoyed each other’s company,” Robert said.

    Once a month, the pair would go to the same Mexican restaurant, sit in the same booth and just catch up. Their shared experience gave them the space to talk about their experiences without becoming too maudlin. Sometimes, they avoided the topic all together.

    “ We talked about anything because we didn’t want to just talk about our wives or about dementia,” Robert added. “I mean, we’re both dealing with that constantly, so the last thing we wanted to do was to sit and chat about what’s the latest with your wife or my wife. It was the purpose of two guys getting together and being friends. And that’s what counted — having a friend.”

    Jim moved to Colorado to be closer to family. Lyle still lives in Lauderdale-By-The-Sea. It has been two years since they have met up at their usual spot, but Lyle said they text almost every day.

    Fateful friends

    It only took one cigarette to ignite more than a decade of friendship for Alejandra Hierro. That alone was enough for her to believe in fate.

    Alex Brener, left, and Alejandra Hierro became best friends after meeting at a birthday party in Miami.
    Alex Brener, left, and Alejandra Hierro became best friends after meeting at a birthday party in Miami. Courtesy of Alejandra Hierro

    A little more than 10 years ago, Hierro met her soon-to-be best friend Alex Brener at a birthday party in Miami. She saw a mysterious girl, her black attire clad in studs and leather, smoking a cigarette. She wanted to smoke, too. In a bright floral skirt and rainbow wedge, Hierro cheerfully pranced up to her asking for a hit.

    ”Alex and I are always talking about how it was just written in the stars that we met that day. We’re so different, but when we talk to each other, for some reason, it just clicks,” she said.

    What Alejandra thought would be a short cigarette break turned into an hours-long conversation that lasted through the night. They look back at that first encounter fondly, joking how they thought they were too different to be friends.

    “[Alex] said, ‘I couldn’t believe that the popular pretty girl came up to me and wanted to be my friend,’ and I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I thought you were the cool girl that wasn’t gonna wanna talk to me,’ ” Alejandra said.

    Alex, who grew up with younger brothers, said she found a sister in Alejandra. And their opposite personalities made their bond stronger.

    “She’s taught me a lot in terms of — just life in general, how to approach things, she’s changed my perspective on so many situations and I think it’s super important to have somebody like that in your life,” Alex said.

    Despite their differences, they discovered they had a lot in common. They were both born in Mexico and moved to South Florida when they were young. As they barreled through their 20s, they navigated the hurdles side by side.

    “It’s almost like … we’re a mirror for each other, so whenever I doubt myself, she shows me through her own courage that I shouldn’t. It’s that kind of friendship that always renews and reminds you that you’re not alone,” Alejandra said.

    Now, in their 30s, both women are engaged, and planning their weddings together.

    This report was produced by Miami Herald news partner WLRN Public Media.

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    Alyssa Ramos and Helen Acevedo

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  • Not Cute: Meet Cute

    Not Cute: Meet Cute

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    Like Gary (Pete Davidson), we already have some vague level of understanding about what we’re getting into when we first encounter Sheila (Kaley Cuoco) at the bar. She’s the proverbial “messy” girl that New York so loves to promote in any media that centers on the city as its backdrop. Maybe that’s why another of Cuoco’s New York-based characters, Cassie Bowden on The Flight Attendant, so resembles this Sheila one. Except that, at least in Cassie’s case, the writers are given an entire season to slowly unveil the reasons why she is the way she is and why her life is “shit” (as many a “hot white girl” likes to declare).

    With Sheila, we’re just supposed to take her at face value when she repeatedly says things like, “I’m just such a fucking loser. I’m such a fucking sad sack,” “No matter what, my life is shit, okay?” and “Time travel? Why would I wanna do that? Why would I wanna go back to yesterday? Yesterday was shit too.” Except that, when she does go back to “yesterday,” she perchance stumbles upon Gary in the aforementioned bar setting. The man she claims “saved” her—being that she was planning to kill herself before her nail tech, June (Deborah S. Craig), offered her access to a tanning bed time machine that allows one to go back just twenty-four hours. This being presented in a way that filmmakers Alex Lehmann and Noga Pnueli would like to believe is coming across as charmingly “madcap,” but instead only serves as one of many sources of incongruity and annoyance about this narrative.

    In any event, as all people are able to do on their “first date” with someone, Sheila can project the belief that maybe this time it will be different. This person can be the one to give her a raison d’être. Of course, placing that much responsibility on another human being who can barely deal with their own neuroses is a recipe for disappointment. Which Sheila eventually encounters despite her best efforts to keep the initial spark alive. To her, however, this date has grown stale. Even though, to Gary, it feels like the first time every time. Save for little hints dropped about how the repetition of the night is starting to seep into his consciousness via various unexpectedly-remembered details. At some points, we even think he’s going to say he’s known all along that she’s been restarting the night and that’s he’s only continued to do so because he loves her so much. But that’s not the scenario presented by screenwriter Pnueli, in her debut feature. And perhaps as a debut effort, the film struggles to bother with much in the way of playing by its own faintly-established rules, constantly changing them through convenient “oh by the ways” (a.k.a. the over-usage of the term “I gotta come clean with you”) that Sheila decides to inform Gary of when she feels “the time is right.” Or rather, when it serves the “progression” of the plot, already stumbling to stay afloat at a clipped one hour and twenty-nine minutes (with credits included).

    But, of course, the time is always wrong in that she’s cornered them both into a loop for the purpose of constantly reliving the same night (a Groundhog Day trend in film that’s been on the upswing since the pandemic—see also: Palm Springs). Obsessed with wanting to relive and recreate it so that it can be more perfect every time, Sheila only becomes increasingly disenchanted with Gary as the nights wear on—more specifically, three hundred and sixty-five nights. And even we, as the viewer, grow disinterested with the same conversation topics repurposed in different ways, all covering the subjects of how they both have dead dads, they’re both fucked up, etc., etc. Garden-variety normals posing as “New York eccentrics” shit.

    Sheila being so normal, in fact, that she’s running around in a dress that looks like a picnic basket interior as she wishes to make Gary her “lobster.” Which is why she confesses to him during one of the nights, “This is the first time I’ve been this happy in a very, very long time.” We never quite know what’s been getting her down for so long, apart from the standard-issue potential cause: a traumatizing childhood. Which, undeniably, Gary has had as well—but you don’t see him trying to control another human being with Elmyra-level obsessiveness. And, ultimately, that’s the trope Meet Cute (sardonically named as it is) seeks to emphasize: women get clingy (as Pete’s ex, Ariana, said, “I can be needy/Way too damn needy”), seek all the answers to their “sad little lives” in men. The very creatures they also despise at the same time that they expect the world from them. Yet Sheila becomes convinced that if she could just “tweak” some small aspects of Gary’s past, he would be an even better, more perfect boyfriend (even if a single-serving one, based on her refusal to “exit out of” the night they meet). Needless to say, she’s not one for the “if you love someone, set them free” platitude.

    Unfortunately, Sheila doesn’t take into account that Gary’s raging insecurities are part of what makes him such a “nice guy” (this clearly being the reason why Davidson was attracted to the role). For when she goes back further into the past (since, suddenly, that’s a new part of the “rules” of the time machine—previously believed to only be capable of going back twenty-four hours) to change key moments she views as “where things went wrong for Gary,” it turns him into a bit of an arrogant dick. And as she confesses what she did to this “new” Gary, he’s absolutely horrified by her entire being, assuring her that no matter what she does to change him, “I’ll still never wanna be with you,” subsequently writing “Sheila sucks balls” on his hand with a Sharpie.

    Among the ways Sheila wanted to boost Gary’s overall confidence in himself as a youth was by playing catch with him in the yard (being that his father wasn’t in the picture to do so), dissuading him from losing himself in books like the one he’s holding when she knocks on his door (looking like a bad drag king), The Right Hand of Lightness by Ursula LeGrin (a spoof of Ursula K. Le Guin’s The Left Hand of Darkness). She as “Uncle Charlie” also tells him that “people don’t like mimes” and so he ought to stop miming.

    Watching all this unraveling of Gary’s core personality and essence is June, who keeps allowing Sheila to use her tanning bed time machine in the back room (ostensibly because she knows it’s the only thing that will keep Sheila from killing herself). But she finally has to speak out in some way against what her “client” is doing by telling her, “If you erase the pain, you erase the person.” Which she achieved with the “Old Gary” by “deleting a few people” from his formative years, like his middle school bully, Patrick, his math teacher, Mrs. Kaiser, and his ex just before he and Sheila met, Amber. Oh yeah, and she also “added” Tatiana, the hot pizza delivery girl who Gary loses his virginity to.

    As the would-be couple get into a heated argument over the nefariousness of what Sheila has done, one of the two old ladies sitting on a bench nearby comments of the fight they’ve just witnessed, “Personally, I think he should feel touched that somebody cares so deeply to take away all the pain of his life.” The other old lady agrees, “Oh that is a really romantic gesture.” But, like most romantic gestures in rom-coms (i.e., showing up to someone’s door uninvited with a bunch of signs professing unwavering devotion or appearing outside someone’s room with a boom box blasting “In Your Eyes”), it’s objectively creepy and stalker-ish. Luckily for Sheila, she’s a woman, therefore can eke by a little more easily with her “dogged persistence” (not quite bordering on Swimfan territory).

    To mildly offset Sheila’s mania about Gary, June serves as the only outlet for something like a “conscience” in the story. Because when Sheila offers to go back in time for her and make her parents love her (instead of seeing her as a “mistake” for being a girl), June claps back, “Don’t fuck with my trauma, Sheila. If I didn’t have these occasional moments of complete and total worthlessness, I wouldn’t have this sparkling sense of humor.” Perhaps Davidson would say the same.

    As for his decision to pick this role, it’s obvious that he, like the filmmakers, wants so badly for Meet Cute to join the annals of those classic “walking and talking” movies (most overtly, the blueprint for all such types: Before Sunset). Especially walking and talking in New York. Unfortunately, the scenes of them walking along the Manhattan Bridge (where Sheila had planned to plummet to her death) recall the actually iconic walking scene shared by Dean (Ryan Gosling) and Cindy (Michelle Williams) in Blue Valentine. Furthermore, and likely to any modern filmmaker’s dismay, the walking and talking paired with making NYC look “dreamy” also harkens back to Alvy (Woody Allen) and Annie (Diane Keaton) and Isaac (Allen) and Mary (Keaton) in Annie Hall and Manhattan, respectively. Except, rather than the (Ed Koch) Queensboro Bridge displayed in the latter, Alex Lehmann uses the far “chicer” Williamsburg Bridge as his source for romanticizing the city (before homing in on the Brooklyn Bridge, along with Jane’s Carousel next to it), and the idea that “anything” can happen in this town when it comes to love. Even half-cooked time travel-related encounters. Or “meet-cutes,” if you will.

    Alas, there’s nothing cute about Sheila’s amplifying displays of desperation as she shouts at Gary, “You don’t understand. You saved me. This whole night saved me… It could be the only thing that ever makes me happy.” Hence, her unwillingness to risk allowing the relationship to be further explored in the next day—indicating the progression of time, ergo the inevitability of their dissatisfaction with each other (or, more likely, Gary’s dissatisfaction with her).

    As we finally get to the drawn-out conclusion, it’s impossible not to note that just as the beginning of the movie tongue-in-cheekly wielded Lauren Spencer-Smith’s rendition of “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?” so, too, does the end of Meet Cute offer a tailored-to-the-situation song: Damien Jurado’s “The Shape of a Storm.” And while the lyrics, “Strange as it seems, I have known you before” play heavy-handedly, the two walk against the backdrop of the bridge, as so many couples before them, both onscreen and off, have done. So in the end, “unique” meeting story or not, they’ve become just another bad cliché.

    Incidentally, Pnueli’s next film, Deborah, is also centered around a time loop premise, albeit with what seems like a somewhat more Lord of the Flies meets Bodies Bodies Bodies type of slant. One can only hope she’s learned from the mistakes made in Meet Cute, which serves as but a botched attempt at contributing to the New York Is Purgatory genre recently jump-started by Russian Doll.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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