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Tag: Materialism

  • Trader vs. Hero Mindset: Why A Healthy Society Needs Both

    Trader vs. Hero Mindset: Why A Healthy Society Needs Both

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    Do you see yourself as more of a “trader” or a “hero?” Learn about these two distinct mindsets, and understand how balancing moral duty and economic ambition can lead to a more harmonious and sustainable future for humanity.

    The hero mindset vs. the trader mindset are two distinct ways people see their roles and responsibilities in a healthy society.

    Each one focuses on different values and priorities, but a balance of both is often needed for a society to function and flourish.

    Here’s an outline of what defines each mindset.

    Trader Mindset

    The trader mindset dominates our current culture. It places emphasis on individualism, material gain, and personal freedom. This mentality often asks, “What can life give me?” and is driven by the pursuit of happiness, pleasure, and profit.

    It’s especially characteristic of American life and contemporary Western thinking, where people tend to see their value only in terms of economic or material output: “What do you do for a living? How much money do you make? How big is your house?”

    Key attributes of the trader mindset include:

    • Rights-Oriented: The trader mindset focuses on personal rights and freedoms, operating on the principle of doing what one wants as long as it doesn’t harm others.
    • Materialism: The trader mindset is materialistic and money-driven, placing a high value on comfort, pleasure, and luxury.
    • Individualism: The trader mindset is competitive, individualistic, and often sees life as a series of transactions aimed at maximizing personal advantage rather than collective well-being.
    • Utilitarian Approach: They adopt a business-minded and utilitarian perspective, often focusing on what is pragmatic and realistic, rater than engaging in abstract and idealistic goals.
    • Status Climbing: Traders often strive for increased status, wealth, or power, engaging in frequent social comparison, and viewing most aspects of life as a social ladder to climb.

    The trader mindset is a product of liberal and Enlightenment philosophy, reflecting the values of individual rights and free market capitalism. It promotes a “mind your own business” attitude which emphasizes personal freedom and the pursuit of happiness, but can also lack a sense of social duty.

    In excess, the trader mindset can lead to negative behaviors such as excessive swindling, grifting, corruption, and fraudulent schemes. People become willing to seek material gain at any moral cost, believing that everyone is inherently greedy and selfish, thus creating a “dog eat dog” world.

    Hero Mindset

    The hero mindset is less common and in many ways it’s more needed in our current society.

    The heroic mindset is characterized by a focus on duty, sacrifice, and the greater good. Those with this mentality often ask, “What can I give to life?” rather than “What can life give me?” This approach emphasizes responsibilities over rights and prioritizes the well-being of others over personal gain.

    Key attributes of the hero mindset include:

    • Duties-Oriented: Heroes feel a strong sense of duty and responsibility toward others and society. They ask themselves how they can best serve their family, community, nation, or humanity as a whole.
    • Idealism: The hero mindset seeks higher ideals than just status or wealth, such as honor, loyalty, and devotion to a higher purpose, striving to do what is right at all costs, even if it means facing death.
    • Collectivism: The hero mindset is communitarian-minded, often emerging in contexts like the military, team sports, or tight-knit organizations where serving a greater whole is paramount.
    • Warrior Spirit: Heroes embrace challenges and are willing to sacrifice their comfort and security for the common good, embodying a warrior mindset that values moral and spiritual achievements over material ones. The hero isn’t afraid to ask, “What am I willing to die for?”
    • Leadership and Accountability: Heroes are willing to stand up and take charge when no one else will. This means assuming leadership roles and taking risks, as well as accepting blame and responsibility when things go wrong.

    In essence, the heroic mindset is about fighting for something greater than oneself.

    Heroes can take many different forms. It’s not only about sacrificing yourself on a battlefield or saving a child from a burning house. Being a hero can also mean dedicating your life to a social cause, being a leader in your local community, taking care of your family, or creating more beauty in the world through art or music.

    While the heroic mindset can lead to noble actions, in excess it can also result in zealotry, self-destructive martyrdom, or an inflexible approach to moral issues. Extreme idealism might push individuals to pursue their goals without considering practical consequences, potentially leading to conflict and alienation.

    Balancing the Mindsets

    Ultimately, both the hero and trader mindsets offer valuable insights into different motivations behind our behaviors and life choices. While the heroic mindset emphasizes sacrifice, duty, and the greater good, the trader mindset focuses on personal gain, freedom, and material success.

    A healthy and sustainable society needs both traders and heroes. A society run solely by traders may prioritize profit over moral values, leading to widespread corruption and a lack of social responsibility. On the other hand, a society with only a heroic mindset might struggle with practicality and flexibility, leading to social conflicts and unrest.

    Striking a balance between these mindsets can help us achieve a harmonious approach to personal fulfillment and social responsibility, creating a society that values both individual rights and communal well-being.


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    Steven Handel

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  • Deathbed Motivation: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

    Deathbed Motivation: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

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    If you were on your deathbed right now, what would your biggest regrets be? The answer can change the way you decide to live the rest of your life.

    Thinking about death can change how we live our lives. Our time on Earth is limited, and this realization can completely shift our perspective. It puts our real values and priorities into sharp focus, causing us to step back and re-evaluate if we are living our current lives in the best way possible.

    When I was going through a period of depression in college, I would take the bus to the local cemetery by myself with nothing but my camera. I’ve always been comfortable with solitude and doing things alone, but these cemetery walks were an especially meaningful and humbling experience for me. Walking among the graves and reading the names of people I’d never know showed me that life is much bigger than my ego. The realization that death is a necessary part of life sparked me to reevaluate and see the bigger picture behind my choices and actions.

    These cemetery walks were a powerful reminder that I would be dead one day too – but not yet – and that filled me with a sense of power and responsibility so long as I’m still breathing.

    How people think about death can have a profound effect on their psychology. Some people face the prospect of mortality by ignoring it and engaging in escapist behaviors driven by materialism (“buy more things”) or hedonism (“seek more pleasure”). Others embrace the prospect of death and recognize that it means they need to make the most of their time here before it’s too late.

    In the popular book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, Bronnie Ware documents her experiences in palliative care, working closely with those who had terminal illnesses or were approaching the end-of-life. She identified five main regrets of the dying based on conversations and confessions with those on their deathbeds.

    This article will outline her main findings along with my personal thoughts on each one.

    Deathbed Motivation: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

    According to Bronnie Ware, the five most common regrets shared by people nearing death were:

    “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

    It’s cliché but true: you only have one life to live.

    Many people cave to social pressures to choose paths in life that are expected of them, such as what school to attend, or what career to pursue, or what types of relationships to cultivate. However, what brings one person happiness isn’t necessarily what brings another person happiness. If we only try to make others happy, we often end up neglecting our own needs, wants, passions, and ideals.

    Understanding your core values is one of the most important steps you can take in life. Knowing what you really want will help you make choices that are harmonious with what you really care about, not just what you think you “should do” or “ought to do.” One interesting study published in the journal Emotions found that our most enduring and long-lasting regrets are usually “ideal-related,” such as personal goals and aspirations.

    Our biggest regrets are often the things we didn’t do but always wanted to, like starting a rock band, or writing a book, or traveling to a place we always wanted to visit.

    “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”

    Most people don’t lay on their deathbeds thinking, “I wish I spent more time at my job.”

    Work is important and it can be fulfilling, but many people in today’s world become myopically focused on advancing in their jobs/careers or making more money by any means necessary (sometimes even in unhealthy, destructive, or unethical ways).

    We wrongly believe that wealth is the only real measure of value in life, and thus we get distracted from other important things like spending more time with family, taking care of our health, giving back to our community, or pursuing personal passions.

    In our materialistic and consumerist culture, nothing seems more important than “working hard” and “making money,” but as the saying goes, “You can’t take it with you when you die.”

    “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”

    We often have trouble expressing our true feelings toward people because we see emotions as weakness or we don’t want to risk being vulnerable.

    This is especially true when it comes to feelings of love, gratitude, and appreciation. There are some families, cultures, and couples where it’s rare to hear the words, “I love you,” or “I appreciate you.” The feelings are taken for granted, but they are never explicitly said.

    It’s important that we learn to express love and appreciation toward others while we still can (including toward family, friends, loved ones, or mentors), because we will often regret it if we miss our chance.

    Recently I wrote my mom a thank you letter for her birthday. It helped me communicate a lot of feelings that I’ve always had but were difficult to say out-loud. It felt like an emotional weight was lifted off my shoulders once I finally expressed my tremendous gratitude for her and everything she’s done for me.

    There are also people I’ve lost in life whom I was never able to tell that I appreciated them. Those are regrets I’ll have to live with – the crucial lesson is don’t miss the opportunity to tell people you love them while you still can.

    “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”

    One common theme in life is that relationships come and go.

    Our circle of friends often changes dramatically throughout high school, college, and into adulthood, especially when we move to new places or leave our hometowns. We tend to lose touch with people over time. Those who were once “best friends” we now go years without even speaking to.

    In theory, it’s easier to stay in touch with people now more than ever; old friends and family are just a call, text, or email away, yet we rarely take advantage of these opportunities.

    It’s never too late to check in on past connections. It can seem awkward at first to reach out to those we haven’t seen in years, but often they will appreciate the gesture and you both will enjoy reconnecting and reminiscing about your shared past.

    The simple act of checking in on people on a regular basis (such as holidays, birthdays, reunions, etc.) can preserve our social connections over time and remind us all the positive relationships and social support we have. Each person you stay in touch with is another layer of meaning in your life.

    “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

    People are too busy these days to be happy.

    We get easily trapped in the hustle and bustle of daily life with work, school, chores, family, and other responsibilities and obligations. In the midst of all this, many forget the simple art of stepping back and finding happiness in the moment.

    You don’t need to wait for something life-changing to be happy. Many people don’t realize that happiness is in their control and you can start finding it in little things, like savoring positive experiences, counting your blessings, having things to look forward to, and prioritizing positive activities. These are habits that are available to anyone no matter what their current situation is in life. You don’t need to be rich or famous; in fact, sometimes those people are the most distracted and least happy.

    If happiness is a skill, then it’s something that’s worth learning. It isn’t magic, it’s a direct result of how you think, act, and view your world.

    The Time That Remains

    If you are reading this right now, then you still have power over how you live the rest of your life. Every new breath is a symbol of this power.

    Which of the big five regrets do you relate to the most? Living too much by other people’s expectations, focusing too much on work, not communicating your true feelings, losing touch with old friends and family, or simply not finding time for more happiness?

    These are important questions worth reflecting on. Take a moment to imagine yourself on your deathbed, which regrets would hurt the most? What can you still do about it?


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    Steven Handel

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  • Paradigm Shifts: A Complete Change in Worldview

    Paradigm Shifts: A Complete Change in Worldview

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    Discover the power of paradigm shifts in driving individual and societal transformation, from overcoming cognitive dissonance to fueling scientific revolutions.

    When’s the last time you changed your mind about something?

    Many people are stuck in their beliefs and worldview, especially once we reach a certain age. Our map of reality is shaped most by early life experiences, including lessons we’ve learned from parents, teachers, and friends.

    A worldview can be hard to break out of on a purely psychological level.

    Once we are set in a view, we seek new information that continues to confirm these beliefs by only looking at sources that already agree with us. When new information contradicts these beliefs, we can easily ignore it or distort it to keep our map of reality intact.

    Accepting that we are wrong about something can be hurtful to our ego and pride, and in many ways our brains are designed to protect ourselves from this discomfort by simply ignoring contradictory information unless it has a real world effect on our lives. As Philip K. Dick once said, “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.”

    The average person isn’t primarily driven by a search for truth, they just need a map of reality that is good enough to navigate their lives effectively and not get themselves into too much trouble, which includes social pressures to conform to certain beliefs or stay silent about others.

    People can go through radical changes in beliefs though. Young adults and teenagers may go through “phases” as they come-of-age, where they question what they’ve been taught, rebel against orthodoxy, and search for their own meaning or purpose in life. These transformative years can lead to paradigm shifts that last a lifetime, such as adherence to new political, religious, or philosophical ideologies. Many may still return to their old beliefs later in life, but with a fresh new perspective.

    Learning about a new worldview, ideology, or philosophy doesn’t mean you need to adopt it – and it doesn’t necessarily lead to a paradigm shift. Often times learning about radically different belief systems can give us a firmer understanding of our current beliefs. There’s wisdom in learning about worldviews you find wrong, mistaken, or incorrect; at the very least, it will give you a better understanding of where other people are coming from.

    Paradigm shifts aren’t just new or updated knowledge, they represent a complete change in your perspective that makes you see and interpret old knowledge in a different way.

    This shift in perspective can be jolting and uncomfortable at first. We depend on worldviews to make sense of reality, so deep changes in perspective can often make reality feel more confusing or unstable at first.

    We often need to re-evaluate old knowledge and experiences through a new lens, and re-integrate them into a new and better map of reality. This is a mental shift that can sometimes take months or years before it is fully developed.

    My Paradigm Shifts

    My mind has changed a lot over the past decade, which hopefully is a sign that I’m learning and growing. When I first started this website over 15 years ago, my worldview was very different than what it is today.

    A few ways my mindset has changed:

    • Less Individualistic – During my college years, I explored a lot of libertarian philosophy that emphasized the individual over the collective. This is a common starting point in many “self help” circles too, which have an ethos of “take responsibility” and “pull yourself up by your boot straps.” While I still believe strongly in individual responsibility and initiative, I’ve grown to recognize the “no man is an island” mantra and focus more on the importance of social support, community-mindedness, and asking for help. This understanding has led to changes in my political and economic views too.
    • Less Materialistic and Money-Focused – It’s a bit embarrassing looking back on it, but I used to want to be rich and famous. I think a lot of it is just part of America’s narcissistic culture, where everyone strives to become some type of celebrity. As I get older, I’ve discovered new core values that have helped me focus on the more important things in life. I’ve also learned that a lot of my drive for money was really a drive for independence, and those aren’t the same thing. A person can make a lot of money and be trapped in their career to sustain their luxurious lifestyle, but a person of more modest fortune, who can be happy with less, often has more independence because they can then focus on other things in life. That was a counter-intuitive idea for me that took awhile to process.
    • Focus on Social and Cultural Forces – When I was younger, and likely a product of my libertarian days, I used to focus more on the importance of economics rather than culture. Generally, I saw things like music, art, and film as just a peripheral aspect of society, but now I’m beginning to understand their central importance. Every culture reflects and propagates a certain set of values, and a culture that promotes harmful and destructive values will lead to a harmful and destructive society. When I look at today’s world, I see a lot of cultural forces going in the wrong direction. I’m not pro-censorship in anyway, but I find many aspects of our culture need to be analyzed, criticized, and abandoned if they are hurting the happiness and health of a people.

    This is how my mindset has shifted over the years – and my mind will likely keep changing as long as I stay open to new information, new knowledge, and new experiences. At this point, most of my learning has happened outside of school and that’s a path I will continue on for the rest of my life.

    The Structure of Scientific Revolutions

    One of the most popular discussions on the topic of paradigm shifts is Thomas Kuhn’s 1962 book
    The Structure of Scientific Revolutions.

    Kuhn describes that scientific progress isn’t just an accumulation of facts, which he calls “normal science,” but also periods of “revolutionary science,” where anomalies are discovered that force scientists to look at a field in a completely new way.

    Common examples of paradigm shifts in science include:

    • The Copernican Revolution in the 16th century, where there was a change from geocentrism (“earth is the center of the universe”) to heliocentrism (“sun is the center of the solar system”)
    • Newtonian Physics in the 17th century, where classical mechanics discovered by Isaac Newton replaced previous models of Aristotelian physics.
    • Darwin’s theory of evolution and natural selection in the 19th century, which changed how humans viewed themselves in relation to animals and nature.

    Often there is initial resistance to accept new paradigms, which can go through heated periods of controversy and criticism among contemporary scientists and laymen.

    However, once these new paradigms were adopted, they allowed for research and discoveries into new phenomenon which ultimately expanded the boundaries of science and learning.

    New paradigms completely change how a scientific field is looked at. Thomas Kuhn used the example of the duck-rabbit optical illusion to demonstrate how new paradigms can change how we see old information:

    duck-rabbit optical illusion

    A duck or rabbit? It depends on your perspective.

    New paradigms can take awhile to be fully adopted. Old facts need to be looked at through a new lens. New books, research, studies, lectures, and textbooks need to be re-written from this new perspective, leading to a type of cognitive restructuring of society. The philosopher Immanuel Kant referred to the advancements of Greek mathematics and Newtonian physics as “revolutions in thinking,” and they take time to process.

    Generally, new scientific paradigms are better than old ones because they have more explanatory power over understanding natural phenomenon and predicting future outcomes.

    The best measure of scientific truth is its predictive power: if a new paradigm fails to better explain or predict a natural occurrence over a previous paradigm, then there’s no real point in replacing the old model (from a scientific perspective).

    Paradigm Shifts: An Antidote to Cognitive Dissonance

    Paradigm shifts are spurred on when new facts don’t fit into old worldviews. This leads to feelings of cognitive dissonance which is when someone is forced to hold two contradictory beliefs at the same time.

    Often the only way to reconcile this disconnect between facts vs. experience is to find a completely new paradigm that accounts for all old and new knowledge. This may require recognizing wrong or mistaken beliefs from your past, or cultivating a worldview with more complexity and nuance.

    Cognitive dissonance is a painful experience that most people choose to ignore or avoid. Many people double-down on wrong beliefs when they are passionately invested in them, which leads to excessive confirmation bias and conspiracy theories when beliefs continue to be held unchecked.

    At the same time, cognitive dissonance can be a catalyst for change – it’s a signal that we need to adjust our understanding of reality. This can become a real avenue for transformative thinking as long as you are honest with yourself, seek out diverse sources of information, and open-minded enough to see things in a new light.

    Conclusion

    Paradigm shifts are a part of learning and growing on both an individual and societal level. They are necessary for both radical self-improvement and radical scientific progress.

    While it’s important not to “change your mind just for the sake of changing your mind,” honest searches for knowledge and truth inevitably come up against walls that require a paradigm shift to get over and move onto the next stage.


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    Steven Handel

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  • The Narcissistic Culture of “Image” and Excessive Self-Monitoring

    The Narcissistic Culture of “Image” and Excessive Self-Monitoring

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    In a world obsessed with public image and attention-seeking, learn about the cultural forces propelling society to become more narcissistic – and how this influences us to be in a constant state of self-scrutiny.


    The idea that our culture is becoming more narcissistic and self-centered is not new.

    Historian and social critic Christopher Lasch’s book The Culture of Narcissism was first published in 1979. By that time, the 1970s were already dubbed the “Me-generation.” Americans were increasingly shifting focus to concepts like “self-liberation,” “self-expression,” and “self-actualization,” while untethering themselves from past traditions and social responsibilities.

    Interestingly, Lasch traces the narcissistic roots in America back way further, starting with the early days of the Protestant work ethic and its singular focus on labor, money, and wealth-building, including the old “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mantra.

    This early thread of American hyper-individualism continues into the New Age movement at the turn of the 20th century with its focus on personal happiness and spiritual fulfillment, as well as the popularity of Ayn Rand’s “virtue of selfishness,” and the rise of celebrity-worship and fame-seeking that still characterizes much of American life today whether it be in politics, sports, art, or entertainment.

    Things appear to be getting worse. The book was written over 40 years ago, but a lot of the observations in it seem strangely prophetic when looking at the world today. Lasch accurately describes how narcissistic trends have evolved on a societal and cultural level, and you can perfectly extend his theories to explain our modern culture.

    Before you continue reading, remember this is a cultural analysis of narcissistic tendencies and it isn’t focused on clinical or psychological definitions of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

    Many people act more narcissistic because that’s what our society rewards and that’s how people think they need to act to get ahead in today’s world.

    One can even look at certain narcissistic tendencies as a survival strategy in an otherwise competitive, atomized, isolated – “every man for himself” – world.

    Now let’s dive into how our modern culture amplifies and rewards narcissism.

    The narcissist craves an audience

    First, the most defining characteristic of a narcissist is that they depend on the attention and validation of others to feel good about themselves.

    Contrary to the popular myth that the narcissist suffers from excessive self-love, the truth is they are deeply insecure and lack true confidence and self-esteem. The main reason they brag, show off, or puff-up-their-chests is only to appear strong when deep down they feel weak.

    As a result the narcissist is obsessed with their image and appearance. They feel they need to “win people over” to be accepted and liked by others, and this requires a carefully manufactured persona they create for the public.

    This deeply rooted “need for attention” plays a central theme in Lasch’s analysis:

      “Narcissism represents a psychological dimension of dependence. Notwithstanding his occasional illusions of omnipotence, the narcissist depends on others to validate his self-esteem. He cannot live without an admiring audience. His apparent freedom from family ties and institutional constraints does not free him to stand alone or to glory in his individuality. On the contrary, it contributes to his insecurity, which he can overcome only by seeing his ‘grandiose self’ reflected in the attention of others, or by attaching himself to those who radiate celebrity, power, and charisma.”

    Without an audience to appreciate them, the narcissist struggles to find their self-worth. They don’t believe in themselves – they need “proof” they are a good or important person through the eyes of others.

    To the narcissist, any attention is better than none at all; even negative attention like gossip, drama, and criticism feeds into their egos by letting them know they are still front and center.

    In a society that rewards attention for the sake of attention (including fame and notoriety), the narcissist grows and thrives. Who knows, that next scandal with a famous celebrity may be their big breakthrough – whatever gets them into the limelight!

    Image-centrism: The society of the spectacle

    One major contributor to the rise of narcissistic tendencies is that our culture is becoming more image-centric.

    Popular ideas on what true “happiness,” “success,” “fame,” “beauty,” and “achievement” look like are based on outward images and appearances increasingly fed into our culture through photographs, movies, television, and advertising:

      “[One] influence is the mechanical reproduction of culture, the proliferation of visual and audial images in the ‘society of the spectacle.’ We live in a swirl of images and echoes that arrest experience and play it back in slow motion. Cameras and recording machines not only transcribe experience but alter its quality, giving to much of modern life the character of an enormous echo chamber, a hall of mirrors. Life presents itself as a succession of images or electronic signals, of impressions recorded and reproduced by means of photography, motion pictures, television, and sophisticated recording devices.”

    This book was written before the internet and social media which have only increased our “image-centrism” tenfold. Selfies, avatars, memes, filters, photoshop, and AI have all continued to add more layers to this hyper-reality between manipulated images and how we choose to present ourselves.

    This constant barrage of cultural images shapes our beliefs and map of reality. It subconsciously puts ideas in our heads about what “happiness,” “success,” and “beauty” are supposed to look like.

    Once these social images are set in our minds, we naturally feel the desire to live up to them.

    Narcissists can often be the most sensitive to these social images because they fear their true self isn’t good enough, so they take society’s picture of “success” and try to mirror that image back to others.

    On the surface, the narcissist is a crowd-pleaser. They don’t trust their own judgement, so if society says this is what “happiness” or “success” looks like, then they will try to mimic it the best they can.

    Everyone has an audience now

    Technology, internet, social media, cameras, and recording devices have created a world where everyone feels like they have an audience all-the-time.

    Family photo albums and home videos were early stages in turning “private moments” into “public consumption,” but now we have people over-sharing every meal, date, and shopping spree on their social media feeds.

    Lasch correctly identifies this trend back in the 1960s-70s, including a mention of the popular show Candid Camera, which was one of the first “hidden camera” TV shows:

      “Modern life is so thoroughly mediated by electronic images that we cannot help responding to others as if their actions – and our own – were being recorded and simultaneously transmitted to an unseen audience or stored up for close scrutiny at some later time. ‘Smile you’re on candid camera!’ The intrusion into everyday life of this all-seeing eye no longer takes us by surprise or catches us with our defenses down. We need no reminder to smile, a smile is permanently graven on our features, and we already know from which of several angles it photographs to best advantage.”

    Life is recorded and shared now more than ever before. Today everyone has an audience and many people can’t help but see themselves as the “main character” of their own carefully edited movie.

    Unfortunately, we have this audience whether we like it or not. Every time we are out in public, someone may whip out their phones, capture an embarrassing moment, and upload it to the internet for millions to watch. You never know when you may go “viral” for the wrong reasons. The rise of online shaming, doxing, and harassment puts people in a perpetual state of high alert.

    That’s a stressful thought, but it perfectly represents this state of hyper-surveillance we are all in, where there’s always a potential audience and you feel constant pressure to showcase the “best version of yourself” in every waking moment, because you never know who is watching.

    Self-image and excessive self-monitoring

    In a world that rewards people solely based on the “image” they present, we naturally become more self-conscious of the image we are projecting to others.

    This leads to a state of endless self-monitoring and self-surveillance. We see ourselves through the eyes of others and try to fit their image of what we are supposed to be. No matter what we choose to do with our lives, the most pressing questions become, “How will this make me look?” or “What will people think of me?”

    While people naturally want to present themselves in the best way possible and form strong first impressions, an excessive degree of self-filtering and self-management can cause us to lose our sense of identity for the sake of superficial acceptance, internet fame, or corporate climbing.

    At worst, we increasingly depend on this these manufactured images to understand ourselves and reality:

      “The proliferation of recorded images undermines our sense of reality. As Susan Sontag observes in her study of photography, ‘Reality has come to seem more and more like what we are shown by cameras.’ We distrust our perceptions until the camera verifies them. Photographic images provide us with the proof of our existence, without which we would find it difficult even to reconstruct a personal history…

      Among the ‘many narcissistic uses’ that Sontag attributes to the camera, ‘’self-surveillance’ ranks among the most important, not only because it provides the technical means of ceaseless self-scrutiny but because it renders the sense of selfhood dependent on the consumption of images of the self, at the same time calling into question the reality of the external world.”

    If you didn’t share your meal on social media, did you really eat it? If you didn’t update your relationship status online, are you really dating someone?

    For many people, the internet world has become “more real” than the real world. People don’t go out and do adventurous things to live their lives, but to “create content” for their following.

    Who looks like their living their best life? Who is experiencing the most FOMO on the internet? In a narcissistic world, we start seeing our “digital self” in competition with everyone else – and the only thing that matters is that it looks like we are having a good time.

    More and more, we consume and understand ourselves through these technologies and images. We depend on photo galleries, reel clips, and social media posts to chronicle our life story and present the best version of ourselves to the world. If the internet didn’t exist, then neither would we.

    In the sci-fi movie The Final Cut people have their entire lives recorded through their eyes; then after they die, their happy memories are spliced together to give a “final edit” of the person’s life. Many of us are perpetually scrutinizing and editing this “final cut” of our own lives.

    The invention of new insecurities

    Everything is being observed, recorded, and measured, so we have more tools than ever to compare ourselves against others.

    This leads to the invention of all types of new insecurities. We are more aware of the ways we’re different from others, whether it’s our jobs, homes, relationships, health, appearances, or lifestyles. We can always find new ways we don’t “measure up” to the ideal.

    New technologies create new ways to compare. Before you know it, you have people in heated competitions over who can do the most steps on their Fitbit, or consume the least amount of calories in a week, or receives the most likes on their gym posts. The internet becomes a never-ending competition.

    Of course, measuring your progress can be a valuable tool for motivation and reaching goals. The problem is when we use these numbers to measure up against others vs. measure up against our past self. Always remember that everyone is on a completely different path.

    It’s well-known that social comparison is one of the ultimate traps when it comes to happiness and well-being. You’ll always be able to find someone who has it better than you in some area of life, and with the internet that’s usually an easy search.

    These endless comparisons touch on all aspects of life and heighten self-scrutiny and self-criticism. Finding and dwelling on even “minor differences” can spiral into a cycle of self-pity and self-hate. If we don’t remove ourselves from these comparisons, then we have no choice but to try to live up to them and beat ourselves up when we fail.

    Conclusion

    The goal of this article was to describe some of the key forces that are making society more narcissistic and self-centered.

    Different cultural beliefs and attitudes incentive certain personality traits over others. Our current world seems to continue moving down a more narcissistic path, especially with the increased focus on “image” (or “personal brand”) that we build for ourselves through the internet and social media.

    Most of the ideas in this article are based on the book The Culture of Narcissism which, despite being written over 40 years, is an insightful look into how these social forces continue to grow and evolve.

    Do you feel like our current society is getting more narcissistic? How have these social forces influenced the way you live?


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    Steven Handel

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  • The Immovable Mind: Schopenhauer’s Daily Routine For 27 Years

    The Immovable Mind: Schopenhauer’s Daily Routine For 27 Years

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    What does the daily life of a legendary philosopher look like? Learn about Arthur Schopenhauer’s unique routine that he consistently followed for over 27 years.

    Arthur Schopenhauer was a major figure in German philosophy throughout the 19th century along with Friedrich Nietzsche and Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.

    While he’s known for his pessimism and negative outlook on life, there’s no denying that Schopenhauer was an intellectual powerhouse of his time who influenced many great thinkers, philosophers, and artists long after his death.

    His book Essays and Aphorisms is a great introduction and overview of his philosophical ideas. It explains his core metaphysical belief of “world as appearance,” continuing the legacy of other idealist philosophers like Plato, Kant, and Indian philosophy, which warn about viewing the world strictly through a materialist lens.

    The beginning of the book provides a nice biography of Schopenhauer’s family background, education, and life history. There’s one interesting section on his daily routine that caught my attention and wanted to share; it’s always fascinating to gain insights into the habits and lifestyles of influential figures, especially potential role models we can emulate and borrow from.

    This specific routine characterizes the last third of Schopenhauer’s life:

      “From the age of 45 until his death 27 years later Schopenhauer lived in Frankfurt-am-Main. He lived alone… every day for 27 years he followed an identical routine.”

    Keep in mind, I’m only sharing this for educational purposes. I don’t necessarily recommend this way of living, but there are interesting lessons to takeaway from it, including how some of these habits relate to Schopenhauer’s overall philosophy.

    Arthur Schopenhauer’s Daily Routine

    Here’s a breakdown of Schopenhauer’s daily routine for the last 27 years of his life:

    • “He rose every morning at seven and had a bath but no breakfast;
    • He drank a cup of strong coffee before sitting down at his desk and writing until noon.
    • At noon he ceased work for the day and spent half-an-hour practicing the flute, on which he became quite a skilled performer.
    • Then he went out to lunch at the Englischer Hof.
    • After lunch he returned home and read until four, when he left for his daily walk:
    • He walked for two hours no matter what the weather.
    • At six o’clock, he visited the reading room of the library and read The Times.
    • In the evening he attended the theatre or a concert, after which he had dinner at a hotel or restaurant.
    • He got back home between nine and ten and went early to bed.”

    While Schopenhauer mostly kept to this strict routine unwaveringly, he was willing to make exceptions under specials circumstances such as if he had friends or visitors in town.

    Key Lessons and Takeaways

    This daily routine seems fitting for a solitary and introspective philosopher, but there are key lessons that fit with conventional self-improvement wisdom:

    • Early Rising: Schopenhauer started his day at 7 a.m., which aligns with the common advice of many successful individuals who advocate for early rising. This morning ritual is often associated with increased productivity and a sense of discipline.
    • No Breakfast: Skipping breakfast was part of Schopenhauer’s routine. While not everyone agrees with this approach, it resonates with intermittent fasting principles that some find beneficial for health and mental clarity.
    • Work Routine: Schopenhauer dedicated his mornings to work, writing until noon. This emphasizes the importance of having a focused and dedicated period for intellectual or creative work, especially early in the day.
    • Creative Break: Taking a break to practice the flute for half an hour after work highlights the value of incorporating creative or leisure activities into one’s routine. It can serve as a refreshing break and contribute to overall well-being.
    • Outdoor Exercise: Schopenhauer’s daily two-hour walk, regardless of the weather, emphasizes the significance of outdoor exercise for both physical and mental health. This practice aligns with contemporary views on the benefits of regular physical activity and spending time in nature.
    • Reading Habit: Schopenhauer spent time reading each day, reflecting his commitment to continuous learning and intellectual stimulation.
    • News Consumption: Reading The Times at the library suggests Schopenhauer valued staying informed about current events. It’s worth noting that he limited his news consumption to a specific time of day (but it was easier to restrict your information diet before the internet).
    • Cultural Engagement: Attending the theater or a concert in the evening indicates a commitment to cultural engagement and a balanced lifestyle.
    • Regular Bedtime: Going to bed early reflects an understanding of the importance of sufficient sleep for overall health and well-being.

    While Schopenhauer’s routine may not be suitable for everyone, there are elements of discipline, balance, and engagement with various aspects of life that individuals may find inspiring or applicable to their own lifestyles.

    The Immovable Mind

    Schopenhauer was known for his persistence and stubbornness – his consistent daily routine is just one manifestation of this.

    He wrote his magnum opus The World as Will and Representation in 1818 when he was only 28 years old, and he never fundamentally changed his views despite continuing to write and publish until his death at 72.

    Schopenhauer has been described as an “immovable mind,” never letting himself deviate from the course he was set out on.

    His two hour walk routine in any weather is one of the most popular examples of this. From the biography in the book:

      “Consider the daily two-hour walk. Among Schopenhauer’s disciples of the late nineteenth century this walk was celebrated fact of his biography, and it was so because of its regularity. There was speculation as to why he insisted on going out and staying out for two hours no matter what the weather. It suggests health fanaticism, but there is no other evidence that Schopenhauer was a health fanatic or crank. In my view the reason was simply obstinacy: he would go out and nothing would stop him.”

    While this immovability has its disadvantages, you have to admire the monk-like discipline.

    Schopenhauer was a proponent of ascetism, a life without pleasure-seeking and mindless indulgence. A lot of his philosophy centers around a type of “denouncement of the material world,” so it’s not surprising that a little rain and wind wouldn’t stop his daily walk.

    This way of living is reminiscent of the documentary Into Great Silence, which follows the daily lives of Carthusian monks living in the French mountains while they eat, clean, pray, and fulfill their chores and duties in quiet solitude.

    One of the hallmarks of a great routine is that it’s a sustainable system. The fact that Schopenhauer was able to follow this regimen for the rest of his life is a testament to its strength and efficacy, and something worth admiring even if it’s not a lifestyle we’d want to replicate for ourselves.


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  • Past, Present, and Future: Lessons from A Christmas Carol

    Past, Present, and Future: Lessons from A Christmas Carol

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    From ‘Bah, humbug!’ to redemption: Charles Dickens’ ‘A Christmas Carol’ unfolds as more than just a festive fable, offering profound insights into self-discovery, kindness, and rewriting one’s life story.

    Charles Dickens’ timeless classic, “A Christmas Carol,” isn’t just a heartwarming tale of holiday spirit; it’s a profound exploration of human psychology and the power of personal transformation.

    Many of us have heard the story before through countless movie and TV adaptations, especially the infamous Scrooge, whose name has now become a common insult toward those who fight against the holiday spirit of joy, kindness, and charity.

    If you’re interested, you can read the original 1843 novella A Christmas Carol for free at Project Gutenberg. There are also many free audiobooks you can find and listen to.

    The story opens the day before Christmas with Ebenezer Scrooge at work, a strict businessman who is described as miserable, lonely, and greedy, without any close friends or companions. His nephew visits, wishes him a cheerily “Merry Christmas!” and invites him to spend dinner with his family, but Scrooge rudely brushes off the kind gesture and responds with his trademark phrase “Bah humbug!”

    Scrooge’s cynical and negative attitude is on full display in the opening chapter. “He carried his own low temperature always about with him.” In one instance where he is asked to donate money to help the poor, the wealthy Scrooge asks, “Aren’t there prisons? Aren’t there workhouses?” and then complains about the “surplus population.”

    It’s clear that Scrooge’s only concerns and core values in life are money and wealth. If it doesn’t help his profits or bottom line then he doesn’t care about it, especially the well-being of others which he claims is “none of his business.”

    The archetype of Scrooge is more relevant today than ever, especially in our corporatized world where rich elites isolate themselves from the rest of society while income inequality, crime, and economic woes continue to rise for the average person. Dickens observed early signs of increased materialism, narcissism, and greed almost two hundred years ago, but these unhealthy instincts have only grown rapidly since then. Social media has particularly warped people’s perceptions of wealth, status, and fame, which has in turn blinded us to many other important values in life.

    In many cases people like Scrooge live lonely and miserable lives until they die, clinging to their money as they are lowered into their graves. However the story of “A Christmas Carol” provides hope and inspiration that people can change their paths in life if they are given the necessary insight and wisdom.

    As the well-known tale goes, Scrooge is haunted by 3 benevolent spirits on consecutive nights (The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future), each teaching him an essential lesson on what really matters in life.

    This breakdown of past, present, and future creates a complete picture of one’s life. It’s a powerful framework to spark self-growth in any person. Once we reevaluate where we’ve been, where we are, and where we want to go, we have a much clearer idea on what the right path forward is.

    Keep in mind you don’t need to be religious to reap the benefits of this story. Its lessons are universal. While there are supernatural and spiritual elements, the wisdom is real and tangible.

    Introduction: The Ghost of Marley

    Before Scrooge is visited by the three spirits, he encounters the ghost of his former business partner Marley who had died seven years ago.

    The ghost of Marley is shown to be in a type of purgatory, aimlessly roaming the town, entangled in many heavy chains with cash-boxes, keys, padlocks, ledgers, deeds, and heavy purses made out of steel, representing a lifetime of greed and selfishness:

      “I wear the chain I forged in life,” replied the Ghost. “I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it. Is its pattern strange to you?”

      “Or would you know,” pursued the Ghost, “the weight and length of the strong coil you bear yourself? It was full as heavy and as long as this, seven Christmas Eves ago. You have laboured on it, since. It is a ponderous chain!”

    The ghost lets Scrooge know that his actions have far-reaching consequences too. He will suffer a similar fate if he doesn’t change his ways, but there’s still hope for redemption! He then leaves, announcing to Scrooge that he will soon be visited by three spirits that will guide him to a better path.

    Marley’s ghost serves as a warning, but also a sign of hope.

    The Ghosts of the Past: Forgiving Your Former Self

    Scrooge’s first encounter is with the “Ghost of Christmas Past,” who serves as a poignant reminder that we must confront our history to understand our present.

    The Ghost of Christmas Past transports Scrooge through various memories he had as a child and young adult, showing his psychological development over time.

    The first scene brings Scrooge back to his childhood town, where he is immediately rushed with feelings of nostalgia, cheerfulness, and joy. These positive memories depict a very different Scrooge from present, revealing his once optimistic and hopeful disposition. What happened to him since?

    The memories begin to grow darker. Multiple scenes show Scrooge spending Christmas alone as a young child, one time being left by himself at boarding school while his friends were celebrating the holidays with family, and another time sitting solitarily by the fire reading. Scrooge begins to shed tears and show sympathy toward his former, abandoned self.

    One of the most pivotal memories is when young adult Scrooge is speaking with his past lover. She notices a fundamental change in him that has become a dealbreaker in their relationship.

      “You fear the world too much,” she answered, gently…”I have seen your nobler aspirations fall off one-by-one, until the master-passion, Gain, engrosses you…”

    She sees that money has become Scrooge’s God which he puts above all other values, including love. The young woman continues…

      “Our contract is an old one. It was made when we were both poor and content to be so, until, in good season, we could improve our worldly fortune by our patient industry. You are changed. When it was made, you were another man.”

    Here we begin to see Scrooge’s hardening into the man he is in the present.

    His pursuit of wealth as his main source of comfort and satisfaction has damaged his relationship beyond repair. The lover sees no other option but for them to go their separate ways. The memory deeply pains Scrooge and he cries out for the ghost to show him no more.

    In truth we are all a product of our past, including our environment and the choices we make in life. Scrooge has clearly gone through hardships and taken wrong turns that have influenced where he finds himself today; but it’s not too late.

    The Ghost of Christmas Past forced Scrooge to remember events that he had long forgotten, neglected, or ignored because they were too painful to think about. While these old memories cannot be altered, you have to accept your past, be honest with yourself, and forgive yourself if you want to learn, grow, and change for the better.

    One of the main lessons here is that you need to take responsibility for the past before you can take power over the future. Scrooge is suffering, but he’s learning.

    Making the Most of the Present: Opportunities for Joy and Kindness

    Scrooge’s next encounter is with the “Ghost of Christmas Present,” who teaches Scrooge all the opportunities for good that cross his path every single day.

    The spirit is colorfully dressed with holly, mistletoe, berries, turkeys, sausages, oysters, pies, puddings, fruit, and punch surrounding him, a representation of the simple pleasures in life we can all learn to appreciate, savor, and be grateful for.

    First, the Ghost of Christmas Present takes Scrooge for a walk outside in the town during Christmas Day, observing all the happiness, zest, and cheer overflowing through the streets. Everyone from all backgrounds is enjoying the festivities.

    When two people bump into each other and start a small fight, the ghost sprinkles a magical substance on them which instantly ends the argument and brings both back to a more joyful demeanor.

      “Once or twice when there were angry words between some dinner-carriers who had jostled each other, he shed a few drops of water on them, and their good humour was restored directly. For they said, it was a shame to quarrel upon Christmas Day. And so it was! God love it, so it was!”

    On Christmas, all fights are optional.

    The ghost then leads Scrooge to the home of Bob Cratchit, his current employee who he often treats poorly. Here Scrooge is introduced to Bob’s sick and disabled son Tiny Tim, who despite his illness is still excited to spend holiday time with the family. The poor family makes the most of the limited food and time they have together, including a fake “goose” dinner made out of apple sauce and mashed potatoes.

    Scrooge looks on in sympathy and wishes he could do more to help them. He asks the spirit about the current state of Tiny Tim’s health:

      “Spirit,” said Scrooge, with an interest he never felt before, “tell me if Tiny Tim will live.”

      “I see a vacant seat,” replied the Ghost, “in the poor chimney-corner, and a crutch without an owner, carefully preserved. If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, the child will die.”

    In another scene, Scrooge is transported to the home of his sister’s family, the same party his nephew invited him to the previous day. Everyone in the household is enjoying the Christmas holiday while singing, dancing, and playing games. Several times Scrooge is brought up in conversation and everyone can only laugh and shrug at Scrooge’s relentless misery and gloom.

      “A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to the old man, whatever he is!” said Scrooge’s nephew. “He wouldn’t take it from me, but may he have it nonetheless. Uncle Scrooge!”

    Scrooge knows that these events and perceptions by others are part of his own doing.

    At every turn, Scrooge denies taking advantage of daily opportunities for happiness, including rejecting a group of children singing carols, responding rudely to acquaintances (“Bah humbug!”), and refusing to give to charities or help others when it’s fully in his power.

    These events are small, but they build up over time. Whenever Scrooge is given a choice between kindness vs. coldness, he chooses to be cold. After enough tiny social interactions, Scrooge has cemented his reputation around town as being the miserable miser.

    Can he still change it?

    The Shadows of the Future: Shaping Tomorrow Today

    The final spirit Scrooge meets is the “Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come” or the “Ghost of Christmas Future.” This ghost blends in with the darkness of the night, wearing a long black robe that covers their entire face and body, except for a boney hand it uses to silently point.

    The ghost begins by showing men on the streets joking and laughing about someone who has just passed away. At a pawn shop, robbers are selling stolen property they recently seized from the dead man’s estate, saying it’s for the best since the items will no longer serve any use to him. Scrooge, perplexed by the meaning of these scenes, intently watches on. Another man jokes:

      “It’s likely to be a very cheap funeral, for upon my life I don’t know of anybody to go to it.”

    Scene by scene, people show ambivalence toward the death. Scrooge grows frustrated and asks:

      “If there is any person in the town who feels emotion caused by this man’s death, show that person to me. Spirit, I beseech you!”

    Now they see a family that was in debt to the dead man, and they are feeling humble gratitude and quiet glee that they no longer have to worry themselves about such an evil creditor:

      “Yes. Soften it as they would, their hearts were lighter. The children’s faces, hushed and clustered round to hear what they so little understood, were brighter; and it was a happier house for this man’s death! The only emotion that the Ghost could show him, caused by the event, was one of pleasure.”

    Already having suspicions on who this man is, Scrooge begs the ghost to finally reveal where his future lies. The ghost travels to a graveyard and points at a tombstone that upon inspection reads: Ebenezer Scrooge

    Scrooge’s heart sinks. Next it’s shown that Tiny Tim hasn’t recovered from his illness and has also passed away, and at such a young age. Feeling completely hopeless at this point, Scrooge desperately begs:

      “Answer me one question. Are these the shadows of the things that Will be, or are they shadows of things that May be, only?”

      “Men’s courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead. But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change. Say it is thus with what you show me!”

    As long as you’re alive and breathing, you have the power to change.

    When we think about death, it puts everything about life into perspective. Our time is finite in this world and we must make the most of it without being distracted by trivialities and lesser values. If you were laying on your deathbed right now, what would your main regrets be?

    When Scrooge reflects on his own death and what influence he’d leave on the world, it shakes him at his core – but also transforms him.

    The Power of Redemption: Transforming Scrooge’s Tale into Our Own

    After the visitations of the three ghosts, Scrooge wakes up a changed man ready to start his new life. He rises from bed excited, hopeful, and giddy that he’s still alive and still has a chance to change his current course.

    Upon finding out it’s still Christmas Day, he buys a prize turkey to send to the Cratchit family and begins giving generous amounts of money to children and the poor. He continues to walk around the town square, giving everyone warm greetings and a hearty “Merry Christmas!”

    When he sees Bob Cratchit the next day at work, he immediately gives him a raise in salary and promises to take care of Tiny Tim and assist the family in anyway possible. He becomes a lifelong friend to the family.

    This sudden change in Scrooge’s behavior confused the townsfolk at first, including many who made fun of this rapid transformation that was so uncharacteristic of Scrooge. But these words and gossip didn’t bother him:

      “Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter[…] His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.”

    At its core, “A Christmas Carol” is a story of redemption and heroism. Scrooge’s journey from miserly recluse to benevolent samaritan exemplifies the human capacity for change.

    By reflecting on his past, present, and future self, Scrooge discovered the best path forward – a process that applies to all forms of self-improvement.

    This story has insightful lessons that can apply to anyone’s life, no matter what situation they find themselves in. We can’t change the past chapters, but we can change how our story ends.

    Never forget you have the power to rewrite your life story at any time.


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