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Tag: Mary Oelerich-Meyer

  • How to Be a Witness to Your Grandchildren Who Don’t Share Your Faith

    How to Be a Witness to Your Grandchildren Who Don’t Share Your Faith

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    There’s no question that we are in the end times and that things are more and more difficult for kids these days. Just when you think one generation has had it tough, the next one faces more societal problems. Kids today have to deal with the effects of a worldwide pandemic, drugs that are much easier to access, racial and political tension, discussions in the classroom of gender and sex as young as kindergarten, exposure to transgender and homosexual ideas on television (even children’s channels), brands that promote anti-Christian lifestyles, easier access to pornography, greater homelessness and violence. And that’s on top of dealing with the everyday pressures that the enemy brings against our kids that cause anxiety and depression.

    It’s difficult enough to navigate these waters when our kids and grandkids walk with the Lord. But what can a grandparent do when their children don’t share their Christian faith, and as a result, your grandchildren have no hope of the gospel?

    How Did Your Kids Get Where They Are?

    Whether your children are non-believers now because you didn’t lead them to faith in Christ when they were younger—or they fell away, you need to know the story. In conversation with them, siblings, or other family members, you can get an idea of what they believe and why. Is there a way that you can minister to them if you uncover a hurt? Was there an experience that soured them on God and church? Was it your own hypocrisy when raising them that turned them away? Confess that sin to God and your child and ask for their forgiveness.

    Next, how do they feel about you talking about God in front of their children? Are they okay with it, or are they militantly against it? This will give you a basis for how you will be able to talk to your grandchildren.

    It’s easy to be vocal about their faith because you know what is at stake. But ask the Holy Spirit to keep you humble and give you the words to speak. Too often, as believers, we can come across as a steamroller, and we need to leave room for how God wants to work in these people’s lives.

    What Are the “Universals” That You Can Always Talk About?

    I have a sibling who is an atheist, and yet we still can agree on many things (even though she doesn’t realize yet that all of these things have to do with God). Most people can agree on love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness/loyalty, and self-control (the Fruit of the Spirit). I would also add honesty and fairness to that list. These are always topics to speak with your grandchildren about, and you can begin to weave Jesus into the conversation as the creator of all these good things.

    Know the Parents’ Boundaries

    I know a family where the grandparents can talk about God all they want, but when it comes to Christmas and Easter, a line is drawn with the parents. They insist that Santa and the Easter Bunny are practically worshiped, perhaps because it drowns out the holiness of the holiday. But there are still ways to talk about Santa being a man named Nicholas who gave generously to the poor and sick (he loved children almost as much as Jesus) and became Saint Nicholas, who is recognized every year for his care and concern. If the parents are open to it, you can invite the family to your church’s nativity story (put on by the children) and Easter egg hunt if you have one. Our church does a Christ-centered hunt that promotes the gospel and draws in non-believers.

    Volunteer to Babysit and Do Outings As Much As Possible

    More time spent with your grandchildren gives you greater opportunities to talk about the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, especially concerning whatever problems the kids may be having. Talk about what’s going on in their lives and say, “When I deal with something like that, I remember that God said/did X.” Share Scriptures of hope to back it up. Kids and teens are so used to seeing “positive” messages that are self-focused, so sharing Scriptures of hope shouldn’t seem weird to them. Isaiah 41:10 is my favorite!

    With little ones, you can buy Christian games or Sunday school materials to have at your home and participate with them. My granddaughter loves a board game called “Noah’s Animal Rescue” that emphasizes working together to reach a goal.

    Teenagers have so many more things they are dealing with, and work and friends take up much of their time. But show your support by connecting with them and asking if they can hang out with you over a meal. If they make time for a free dinner, you have an opportunity to share the truth. They may not appreciate it now, but in future years they will treasure this positive, loving time they spent with you and how you were like Jesus to them.

    If your children have relied on you to take care of their children for an extended period (maybe because of their work schedules), you have relieved their stress to a great extent. You’ve done them a great favor and have shown love to their child, so they may be much more open to you inviting your grandchild to church, Vacation Bible School, Youth Group, or another special church event.

    Make Sure Your Walk Matches Your Talk

    You can say all you want about the good news of Jesus Christ, but if your grandchildren don’t see you living out your faith, you may as well be mute. On the other hand, if they see that you act on your faith, they will be more likely to listen to what you share with them. Teens will be more likely to absorb some of that faith for themselves, even if they don’t know that’s what’s happening. I’ve heard it said, “You may be the only Jesus anyone will ever meet.” If that’s the case with your grandchildren, you have a very great responsibility, “for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.” Matthew 10:20.

    Let them see you reading the Bible and Christian books, listening to Christian music, giving to the poor, and helping the sick. Tell them why you do all of these things. This will surround your grandchildren with the gospel’s truth and show them how it changes every life it touches.

    Enlist Another Family in Your Church To Pray and Influence

    Perhaps your teenage grandchild goes to high school with one of the kids in your youth group. Can that student invite your grandchild to an event at church? Your grandchild may be more likely to go if they know someone there. And definitely ask this family to pray for your grandchild, and see how their home can be another place of sanctuary and witness when your grandchild is hanging out.

    Don’t Let the Enemy Keep You From Leading Them to Christ

    It’s hard work to influence your children and grandchildren if there is opposition. But remember that it’s not you they are rejecting. In her article, “How to Share the Gospel with Your Grandkids if the Parents are Non-Believers,” Annie Yorty said, “Your non-believing children, or even your grandkids, may tease you or mock your faith. Take on the humility of Christ (Philippians 2:5) rather than taking offense. Forgive and love rather than defending and arguing. God may use your meekness to prick their conscience.”

    Most Importantly, Pray For and With Your Grandchildren

    Never stop praying! Today may be the day your grandchild makes a decision for Christ, or their heart may be changing bit by bit. Either way, God placed this child in your family for a reason, and God is enlisting you in an effort to bring another into the kingdom. You bring Him honor and glory by trusting these children to Him in your consistent prayers and gospel actions.

    Don’t give up, and don’t lose hope. Raising children to love the Lord may not be easy, but the eternal reward will be beyond your wildest expectations. Don’t believe that anyone is beyond salvation; with God, all things are possible!

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/monkeybusinessimages

    Mary Oelerich-Meyer is a Chicago-area freelance writer and copy editor who prayed for years for a way to write about and for the Lord. She spent 20 years writing for area healthcare organizations, interviewing doctors and clinical professionals and writing more than 1,500 articles in addition to marketing collateral materials. Important work, but not what she felt called to do. She is grateful for any opportunity to share the Lord in her writing and editing, believing that life is too short to write about anything else. Previously she served as Marketing Communications Director for a large healthcare system. She holds a B.A. in International Business and Marketing from Cornell College (the original Cornell!) When not researching or writing, she loves to spend time with her writer daughter, granddaughter, rescue doggie and husband (not always in that order).  

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    Mary Oelerich-Meyer

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  • The Beautiful Blessing of Down Syndrome

    The Beautiful Blessing of Down Syndrome

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    Even though it is the most common chromosomal condition diagnosed yearly, parents are still shocked when they hear their child will be born with Down Syndrome. No wonder, as it can cause great fear and concern that their child won’t be exactly as they expected. What will their level of cognition be? What will they be able to accomplish? Will we have the endurance and strength to raise a child with Down Syndrome? Though everyone’s situation is different, just as each person is unique, I wanted to share our experience with my sister in hopes of encouraging you that God’s plan is more amazing than we can imagine.

    My parents were not fortunate to have ultrasound and other testing to tell them my sister Patricia, my mom’s fourth child, would be born with the chromosomal condition. In fact, physicians didn’t realize that she had Down Syndrome until she was five years old and still hadn’t spoken a word. As the seventh child, I was dragged to many doctor appointments for her, but it didn’t strike me as odd–I just thought she had hearing problems.

    When she was young, all of us siblings played together. We never thought she was different; just frustrating at times when she wouldn’t follow directions. We were all mischievous knuckleheads who hung around with the 40 or so kids who lived on our suburban block. No one ever criticized my sister growing up, though she went to a different school than the rest of us, and no one ever thought to hold her back from pursuing things she wanted to do.

    She was able to attend our high school because we were fortunate to have a class that worked just with the developmentally disabled for four years. Patricia couldn’t wait to graduate from her special high school class after a visit from some local firefighters. They told her she could probably get a job at the local hospital (instead of Steak and Shake, where she was wiping tables), and she went for it! My parents doted on her at this point because doctors told them not to expect her to live past age 21. So off to the hospital she went to work in food service.

    Over our adult years, we had good times and bad. Patricia was always so helpful around the house in addition to her work at the hospital. But my parents would often get a call from her boss that she was talking to people instead of getting her job done on time. Like everyone else I’ve met with Down Syndrome, she has always loved people and doing things for them. For Patricia, that meant designing and mailing greeting cards to hundreds of firefighters a year. My parents were a bit embarrassed that she was taking work time to ask them for their address to send them a card, but the firefighters were almost always incredibly kind to her.

    There were other big and little frustrations/embarrassments, like her habit of immediately handing back a gift you gave her if it wasn’t quite right (why pretend she liked it?). She has always loved candy, and even as an adult, she would run into the street at the Fourth of July parade to collect treats being thrown (but then would share with some of the kids). She hasn’t missed dressing up for Trick or Treating since she was little, and we’ve never had anyone question it. She has never been shy about asking anyone for something she needed–like going to the neighbors to borrow their lawn mower when my Dad’s was broken (without his knowledge).

    But then there were the hundreds of times she would do things for all of us that we didn’t expect. She would create huge collages to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries. She has offered regularly to help with anything we are doing around our houses. She would look for ways to bless strangers wherever we went. When I got very sick years ago, she would call so I could drive her somewhere, and I would tell her I couldn’t. She’d say, “Yes, ya can!” I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve thought about that phrase. She believes in people more than they believe in themselves and is a fount of encouragement.

    My parents worried about her their entire lives. They didn’t know if they should arrange for a group home for her and didn’t want to face saying goodbye–so they never did anything. They trusted in their Heavenly Father to provide for her since He sent her to them as a gift. The older and more frail they became, Patricia started doing even more for them without complaint. The other siblings in the area helped, but her daily assistance doing cleaning (which she loved to do) was such a blessing to my parents. An even bigger blessing was when they got to see her retire from her hospital job after 37 years of employment!

    Now at age 62, she is more active than ever. Patricia, me, and three other sisters live within a mile of each other. She participates in a group for developmentally disabled adults that is more active than the rest of us put together. They go to plays, restaurants, athletic events, botanical gardens, concerts, do schoolwork to keep growing – and celebrate one another regularly. She volunteers with a dog and cat rescue and is in charge of growing her garden, choosing the kind of flowers that Mom loved.

    I’m ashamed that I’ve worried more about her than prayed for her. I never gave God enough credit for His sovereignty— I just couldn’t imagine how He would get this woman through this evil world. But part of the blessing of Down Syndrome is watching what He does in the lives of His special people. They are a trophy of His grace; we get to be part of the overflow.

    I want to leave you with a story that I hope will make you smile. It’s a great example of Patricia’s belief in herself.

    Most people are familiar with the Wahlberg family because sons Mark and Donnie are movie and television stars, and Donnie led a 1990s boy band called New Kids on the Block. Patricia is a huge fan of Donnie, so when she heard that they were opening a Wahlburgers restaurant in our town, she was beyond excited, thinking she might see him someday. Though she was in her late 50s, her goal was to get a job once they opened.

    She called me to take her to the groundbreaking ceremony, and I reluctantly took her. I didn’t want to get her hopes up that she could get a job there or think Donnie would be on-site. She was undeterred, so I took her.

    The ceremony took place under a tent, and a few hundred fans were behind a police line on three sides of the enclosure. When the ceremony was over, we called out to Brother Paul Wahlberg, who was 20 feet away, and asked if Trish could get a photo with him. He was kind to oblige, and she proceeded to surprise him and me by asking for a job. She listed all of her qualifications to him. He was incredibly gracious. He called over his General Manager, and Patricia talked his ear off. The people in the crowd were starting to overhear all of this and were getting excited. The GM then announced to the crowd that Patricia was officially hired as their first employee at that location. The fans began cheering for her now.

    We didn’t realize it, but Donnie also came around for photos with fans. I warned Patricia that she couldn’t get near him because he had a police escort. But as he walked by, I told him that Patricia had just been hired as their first employee. She asked a police officer to go around the barricade; Donnie congratulated her and gave her a big hug.

    [I shared this story on Facebook; when asked to share it publicly, it got 7,000 shares and 25,000 hits in 24 hours. Of the hundreds of comments, most responded to Patricia’s “can-do” attitude.]

    On the way home in the car, she looked up and said, “See Mom! I did it!”

    I looked up and said, “Thank You, God!”

    And I still thank God for bringing this beautiful, generous, tenacious, creative, and selfless person into the world. Our family would have been at a great loss without her.

    Please be encouraged by what God can do through the life of your wonderful child!

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Jessie Casson

    Mary Oelerich-Meyer is a Chicago-area freelance writer and copy editor who prayed for years for a way to write about and for the Lord. She spent 20 years writing for area healthcare organizations, interviewing doctors and clinical professionals and writing more than 1,500 articles in addition to marketing collateral materials. Important work, but not what she felt called to do. She is grateful for any opportunity to share the Lord in her writing and editing, believing that life is too short to write about anything else. Previously she served as Marketing Communications Director for a large healthcare system. She holds a B.A. in International Business and Marketing from Cornell College (the original Cornell!) When not researching or writing, she loves to spend time with her writer daughter, granddaughter, rescue doggie and husband (not always in that order).  

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    Mary Oelerich-Meyer

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