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Tag: Martin Donovan

  • Celebrity birthdays for the week of Aug. 17-23

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    Celebrity birthdays for the week of Aug. 17-23:

    Aug. 17: Actor Robert De Niro is 82. Guitarist Gary Talley of The Box Tops is 78. “Downton Abbey” creator Julian Fellowes is 76. Actor Robert Joy (“CSI: NY”) is 74. Singer Kevin Rowland of Dexy’s Midnight Runners is 72. Bassist Colin Moulding of XTC is 70. Country singer-songwriter Kevin Welch is 70. Singer Belinda Carlisle of The Go-Go’s is 67. Actor Sean Penn is 65. Jazz saxophonist Everette Harp is 64. Guitarist Gilby Clarke (Guns N’ Roses) is 63. Singer Maria McKee (Lone Justice) is 61. Drummer Steve Gorman (The Black Crowes) is 60. Singer-bassist Jill Cunniff (Luscious Jackson) is 59. Actor David Conrad (“Ghost Whisperer,” “Relativity”) is 58. Rapper Posdnuos of De La Soul is 56. Actor-singer Donnie Wahlberg (New Kids on the Block) is 56. TV personality Giuliana Rancic (“Fashion Police,” ″E! News”) is 51. Actor Bryton James (“Family Matters”) is 39. Actor Brady Corbet (“24,” “Thirteen”) is 37. Actor Austin Butler (“Dune: Part Two,” “Elvis”) is 34. Actor Taissa Farmiga (“American Horror Story”) is 31.

    Aug. 18: Actor Robert Redford is 89. Actor Henry G. Sanders (“Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman”) is 83. Drummer Dennis Elliott (Foreigner) is 75. Comedian Elayne Boosler is 73. Country singer Steve Wilkinson of The Wilkinsons is 70. Comedian-actor Denis Leary is 68. Actor Madeleine Stowe is 67. TV news anchor Bob Woodruff is 64. Actor Adam Storke (“Mystic Pizza”) is 63. Actor Craig Bierko (“Sex and the City,” ″The Long Kiss Goodnight”) is 61. Singer Zac Maloy of The Nixons is 57. Musician Everlast (House of Pain) is 56. Rapper Masta Killa of Wu-Tang Clan is 56. Actor Edward Norton is 56. Actor Christian Slater is 56. Actor Kaitlin Olson (“The Mick,” ″It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”) is 50. Comedian Andy Samberg (“Brooklyn Nine-Nine,” ″Saturday Night Live”) is 47. Guitarist Brad Tursi of Old Dominion is 46. Actor Maia Mitchell (“The Fosters”) is 32. Actor Madelaine Petsch (“Riverdale”) is 31. Actor Parker McKenna Posey (“My Wife and Kids”) is 30.

    Aug. 19: Actor Debra Paget (“The Ten Commandments,” “Love Me Tender”) is 92. Actor Diana Muldaur (“Star Trek: The Next Generation”) is 87. Actor Jill St. John is 85. Singer Billy J. Kramer is 82. Country singer-songwriter Eddy Raven is 81. Singer Ian Gillan of Deep Purple is 80. Actor Gerald McRaney is 78. Actor Jim Carter (“Downton Abbey”) is 77. Singer-guitarist Elliot Lurie of Looking Glass is 77. Bassist John Deacon of Queen is 74. Actor Jonathan Frakes (“Star Trek: The Next Generation”) is 73. Actor Peter Gallagher is 70. Actor Adam Arkin is 69. Singer-songwriter Gary Chapman is 68. Actor Martin Donovan is 68. Singer Ivan Neville is 66. Actor Eric Lutes (“Caroline in the City”) is 63. Actor John Stamos is 62. Actor Kyra Sedgwick is 60. Actor Kevin Dillon (“Entourage”) is 60. Country singer Lee Ann Womack is 59. Former MTV reporter Tabitha Soren is 58. Country singer Clay Walker is 56. Rapper Fat Joe is 55. Actor Tracie Thoms (“Cold Case”) is 50. Actor Erika Christensen (“Parenthood”) is 43. Actor Melissa Fumero (“Brooklyn Nine-Nine”) is 43. Actor Tammin Sursok (“Pretty Little Liars”) is 42. Singer Karli Osborn (SHeDaisy) is 41. Rapper Romeo (formerly Lil’ Romeo) is 36. Actor Ethan Cutkosky (TV’s “Shameless”) is 26.

    Aug. 20: News anchor Connie Chung is 79. Trombone player Jimmy Pankow of Chicago is 78. Actor Ray Wise (“Reaper,” ″Twin Peaks”) is 78. Actor John Noble (“Lord of the Rings” films) is 77. Singer Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) is 77. Singer Rudy Gatlin of the Gatlin Brothers is 73. Singer-songwriter John Hiatt is 73. Actor-director Peter Horton (“thirtysomething”) is 72. “Today” show weatherman Al Roker is 71. Actor Jay Acovone (“Stargate SG-1”) is 70. Actor Joan Allen is 69. Director David O. Russell (“Silver Linings Playbook,” “American Hustle”) is 67. Actor James Marsters (“Angel,” ″Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) is 63. Rapper KRS-One is 60. Actor Colin Cunningham (“Falling Skies”) is 59. Actor Billy Gardell (“Mike and Molly”) is 56. Singer Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit is 55. Actor Ke Huy Quan (“Everything Everywhere All at Once,” “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom”) is 55. Guitarist Brad Avery of Third Day is 54. Actor Misha Collins (“Supernatural”) is 51. Singer Monique Powell of Save Ferris is 50. Actor Ben Barnes (“Westworld,” ″Prince Caspian”) is 44. Actor Meghan Ory (“Once Upon a Time”) is 43. Actor Andrew Garfield (“The Amazing Spider-Man”) is 42. Actor Brant Daugherty (“Pretty Little Liars”) is 40. Singer-actor Demi Lovato is 33.

    Aug. 21: Guitarist James Burton (with Elvis Presley) is 86. Singer Jackie DeShannon is 84. Actor Patty McCormack (“Frost/Nixon,” “The Ropers”) is 80. Singer Carl Giammarese of The Buckinghams is 78. Actor Loretta Devine (“Boston Public”) is 76. Newsman Harry Smith is 74. Singer Glenn Hughes (Deep Purple, Black Sabbath) is 73. Guitarist Nick Kane (The Mavericks) is 71. Actor Kim Cattrall (“Sex and the City”) is 69. Actor Cleo King (“Mike and Molly”) is 63. Singer Serj Tankian of System of a Down is 58. Actor Carrie-Anne Moss (“The Matrix,” ″Chocolat”) is 55. Musician Liam Howlett of Prodigy is 54. Actor Alicia Witt (“Law & Order: Criminal Intent,” ″Cybill”) is 50. Singer-chef Kelis is 46. Actor Diego Klattenhoff (“The Blacklist”) is 46. TV personality Brody Jenner (“The Hills”) is 42. Singer Melissa Schuman of Dream is 41. Comedian Brooks Wheelan (“Saturday Night Live”) is 39. Actor Cody Kasch (“Desperate Housewives”) is 38. Musician Kacey Musgraves is 37. Actor Hayden Panettiere (“Nashville,” ″Heroes”) is 36. Actor RJ Mitte (“Breaking Bad”) is 33. Actor Maxim Knight (“Falling Skies”) is 26.

    Aug. 22: Newsman Morton Dean is 90. TV writer/producer David Chase (“The Sopranos”) is 80. Correspondent Steve Kroft (“60 Minutes”) is 80. Guitarist David Marks of The Beach Boys is 77. Guitarist Vernon Reid of Living Colour is 67. Country singer Collin Raye is 65. Actor Regina Taylor (“The Unit,” ″I’ll Fly Away”) is 65. Singer Roland Orzabal of Tears for Fears is 64. Drummer Debbi Peterson of The Bangles is 64. Guitarist Gary Lee Conner of Screaming Trees is 63. Singer Tori Amos is 62. Keyboardist James DeBarge of DeBarge is 62. Country singer Mila Mason is 62. Rapper GZA (Wu-Tang Clan) is 59. Actor Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (“Oz,” “Lost”) is 58. Actor Ty Burrell (“Modern Family”) is 58. Celebrity chef Giada De Laurentiis is 55. Actor Melinda Page Hamilton (“Devious Maids,” ″Mad Men”) is 54. Actor Rick Yune (“Die Another Day,” “The Fast and the Furious”) is 54. Guitarist Paul Doucette of Matchbox Twenty is 53. Rapper Beenie Man is 52. Singer Howie Dorough of the Backstreet Boys is 52. Comedian Kristen Wiig (“Bridesmaids,” ″Saturday Night Live”) is 52. Actor Jenna Leigh Green (“Sabrina the Teenage Witch”) is 51. Keyboardist Bo Koster of My Morning Jacket is 51. Bassist Dean Back of Theory of a Deadman is 50. Actor and TV host James Corden is 47. Guitarist Jeff Stinco of Simple Plan is 47. Actor Brandon Adams (“The Mighty Ducks”) is 46. Actor Aya Sumika (“Numb3rs”) is 45. Actor Ari Stidham (TV’s “Scorpion”) is 33.

    Aug. 23: Actor Vera Miles is 95. Actor Barbara Eden is 94. Actor Richard Sanders (“WKRP In Cincinnati”) is 85. Country singer Rex Allen Jr. is 78. Actor David Robb (“Downton Abbey”) is 78. Singer Linda Thompson is 78. Actor Shelley Long is 76. Fiddler-singer Woody Paul of Riders in the Sky is 76. Singer-actor Rick Springfield is 76. Actor-producer Mark Hudson (The Hudson Brothers) is 74. Actor Skipp Sudduth (“The Good Wife”) is 69. Guitarist Dean DeLeo of Stone Temple Pilots is 64. Singer-bassist Ira Dean of Trick Pony is 56. Actor Jay Mohr is 55. Actor Ray Park (“X-Men,” ″The Phantom Menace”) is 51. Actor Scott Caan (“Hawaii Five-0”) is 49. Singer Julian Casablancas of The Strokes is 47. Actor Joanne Froggatt (“Downton Abbey”) is 45. Actor Jaime Lee Kirchner (“Bull”) is 44. Saxophonist Andy Wild of Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats is 44. Actor Annie Ilonzeh (“Chicago Fire”) is 42. Musician Sky Blu of LMFAO is 39. Actor Kimberly Matula (“The Bold and the Beautiful”) is 37.

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  • “…And Good Business Is The Best Art”: The Apprentice

    “…And Good Business Is The Best Art”: The Apprentice

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    Although director Ali Abbasi and writer Gabriel Sherman are certain to put a disclaimer title card at the beginning of The Apprentice that notes creative license was taken in retelling the story of Donald Trump’s (played by Sebastian Stan) rise to power in New York during the 70s and 80s, it’s no “embellishment” that Andy Warhol and Trump orbited orbited the same circles. In fact, the two first met at Roy Cohn’s birthday party on February 20, 1981 (Cohn was turning fifty-four, and would only have five years left to live), which Warhol would mention in one of his diary entries two days later, commenting of the event, “Black tie. The Mafioso types weren’t in black tie, though… There were about 200 people. Lots of heavies. Donald Trump, Carmine DeSapio, the D’Amatos, David Mahoney, Mark Goodson, Mr. LeFrak, Gloria Swanson, Jerry Zipkin, C.Z. Guest and Alexander, Warren Avis, Rupert Murdoch and John Kluge.”

    The significance of these two theoretically “divergent” types encountering one another in a Cohn-curated environment is taken the utmost advantage of by Sherman, who uses this kernel of hobnobbing history to create a scene of dialogue between Warhol and Trump in The Apprentice that allows the former to wield a riff on one of his famous aphorisms, “Being good in business is the most fascinating kind of art. During the hippie era people put down the idea of business. They’d say ‘money is bad’ and ‘working is bad.’ But making money is art, and working is art—and good business is the best art.” (Trump conveniently seemed to gloss over the word “good” in good business though, even if he chose to cite the quote in 2009’s Think Like A Champion.)

    On this matter, Trump can agree with someone as “liberal” as Warhol. Even if, like Cohn, Warhol’s politics (just as his sexuality) leaned more toward “a.” As in amoral and apolitical. That two so ostensibly “different” personalities could converge in a milieu with Cohn as the common denominator spoke to something about both Cohn and Warhol. In Warhol’s case, that his bottom line wasn’t just ahout making more money, but also attending any event with name-dropping potential for his diary. As for Cohn, an association with Warhol was yet another “Easter egg” about his so-called hidden sexuality. A sexuality that Trump, like so many things, chose to ignore. Or at least turn a blind eye to. After all, his friendship with Cohn was much too beneficial to let homophobia get in the way (until it finally did because of Cohn’s overt AIDS symptoms). Besides, Cohn literally made his career out of persecuting the LGBTQIA+ community during what was known as the Lavender Scare of the 1950s, a “companion piece” to the Red Scare, if you will. Of course, the irony was obvious considering Cohn’s own homosexuality. And the irony quotient was further upped because of how enthusiastic fellow homo J. Edgar Hoover was about Joseph McCarthy and Cohn’s concerted effort to expel anyone suspected of homosexuality from government.

    Even after McCarthy was disgraced and the tide turned against him and his tactics, Cohn was able to rise from the ashes and become the fixer to turn to in New York when someone had legal issues. And Trump had plenty of those starting in 1973, when the Department of Justice brought a civil rights lawsuit against the Trump Organization for its discriminatory practices against Black applicants attempting to rent an apartment at various Trump properties. It is at this point in time that Sherman sets the stage for the story to commence, for it is where Donald Trump truly starts to get on the path toward becoming Donald Trump. A “persona” that fully congeals and peaks in the 1980s, when Ronald Reagan had taken control of the government and turned America into a “neoliberal paradise” (in other words, hell for most people), much to the delight of men like Trump. And even men like Warhol (who was a capitalist before he was a gay man).

    Warhol and Trump’s paths would cross again amid this “new world order,” soon after meeting at Cohn’s birthday party. In fact, Trump actually stopped into The Factory to discuss more of their favorite thing: “business.” Or the art of business (clearly, Trump would later take from that Warholian sentiment in titling his first book The Art of the Deal). At the time, there was talk of Warhol furnishing paintings for the then “still in production” Trump Tower. He did, indeed, create a series of “portraits” of the building (that meta flair) to be displayed in the lobby, but, per his August 5 (the day before his birthday), 1981 diary entry, “I showed them the paintings of the Trump Tower that I’d done. I don’t know why I did so many, I did eight. In black and gray and silver which I thought would be so chic for the lobby. But it was a mistake to do so many, I think it confused them. Mr. Trump was very upset that it wasn’t color-coordinated.”

    Eventually, “The Donald” side-stepping use of Warhol’s paintings in the building would yield even stronger reactions to him and his then wife, Ivana, with Warhol writing flat-out (on January 15, 1984), “I still hate the Trumps because they never bought the paintings I did of the Trump Tower.” Interestingly, his hatred of them doesn’t seem to stem from what they represent, but from what he failed to be a part of/get paid for. Though surely that wouldn’t have stopped him from attending the black-tie opening gala for Trump Tower in the fall of 1983, as The Apprentice shows him to. While Cohn is, obviously, the true Trump foil/mentor of the film, there’s no denying the pointed inclusion of Warhol, however briefly. For, lest anyone forget, Warhol single-handedly altered the perception of art into something viewed as an assembly line business—from both the artist and the consumer’s standpoint. And that odious word, “consumer,” in relation to art really didn’t start to be in vogue until Warhol made art into something designed for mass consumption.

    And, unlike, say, Keith Haring, Warhol’s intent was not for the “noble purpose” of disseminating art to people from all walks of life, but to make as much profit from it as possible. The same went for Trump in terms of buying up as much real estate as possible at a time when buildings in New York were selling for peanuts. It certainly wasn’t done as a “beneficent” way to “bring prestige back” to NYC, as Trump and his cohorts wanted to position it for their own “good PR” ends. One such key early cohort being Cohn (played to perfection by Jeremy “Kendall Roy” Strong). To be sure, the crux of The Apprentice—and where it gets its name apart from Trump’s shitty 00s reality show—is the Orange One’s formative relationship with Cohn. As such, The Apprentice reiterates that every dirty trick for “success” that Trump learned, he learned from Cohn, who took him under his wing as a client when few others would have bothered. Granted, it was Cohn who requested “an audience” with Trump first at what is supposed to be Le Club, a members-only place for somebodies and social climbers—Trump was clearly in the second camp.

    As for why Cohn summoned a then “Robert Redford-looking” Trump over under the pretense of congratulating him for becoming the youngest member to join the club, Sherman explains it best when he says, “There clearly was a father-son dynamic to their relationship. On another level, there was a homoerotic subtext. One of the things I found in my research is that a lot of Roy’s lovers were young, blonde, blue-eyed men who bore a striking resemblance to young Donald. I think Roy was attracted to Trump, in a way, and this movie is sort of a love story.” Needless to say, a very fucked-up love story involving a gross betrayal from the “student who has surpassed the teacher” in terms of merciless cold-bloodedness. It’s a slowly mounting callousness he’s proud of, too, telling Ivana (Maria Bakalova) during their “courtship phase” (a.k.a. he relentlessly pursues her to the point of stalking) that there are only two kinds of people in this life: killers or losers.

    Britney phrased it better when she divided the two kinds of people into “the ones that entertain and the ones that observe” on “Circus.” And yes, that’s what Trump turned his life into after securing the renovation of The Commodore hotel next to Grand Central, partnering (always a loose word with Trump involved) with Hyatt’s Pritzker family to reinvent it as the Grand Hyatt. It is Cohn, of course, who is speculated to have “silently” helped Trump push this deal through, complete with his standard brand of blackmailing select politicos. And while there might be no direct evidence to support that narrative claim in The Apprentice, sometimes, a bit of deductive reasoning is all it takes for something to be believable.

    The same goes for the allusion to Trump being an avid user of amphetamines throughout the 1980s, another key component in The Apprentice to comprehending his gradual mutation into a Frankenstein monster—with Cohn as his Dr. Frankenstein. Sherman’s script is essential to unfolding that arc, along with his previous experience writing about another conservative monster, Roger Ailes, which eventually became a bestselling book called The Loudest Voice in the Room: How the Brilliant, Bombastic Roger Ailes Built Fox News – and Divided a Country. Sherman came to see Ailes as “a real-life modern-day Citizen Kane figure and someone who had been so kind of corrupted and corroded by his own lust for power.” This, too, is how he sees both Cohn and Trump, but especially the latter. And, as though to “subtly” underscore that point, the set design for one of Trump’s pre-80s yuppie apartments features a poster of Citizen Kane in the living room area. Undeniably, Trump has that same ego and empire (even if said empire is built on smoke and mirrors) as Charles Foster Kane. The New York Times thought so long ago, titling a 1983 article about the “mogul,” “The Empire and Ego of Donald Trump.” In it, the eponymous subject gives the telling quote, “‘Not many sons have been able to escape their fathers,’ said Donald Trump, the president of the Trump Organization, by way of interpreting his accomplishments.”

    And yet, if Cohn is to be viewed as his “surrogate father,” Trump most certainly hasn’t escaped his “daddy” at all, having adopted every tenet Cohn imparted and then some. Among those tenets (apart from “always attack, never apologize”) penned by Sherman being, “This is a nation of men, not laws,” “You create your own reality. The truth is malleable” and, not one to exempt physical appearance from his advice, “You’ve got a big ass, you need to work on that.” To that, er, end, Sherman delivers the ultimate Frankenstein scene during the film’s coda, as Trump proceeds to go under the knife for some liposuction and alopecia reduction surgery (all as “My Country, ‘Tis of Thee” is eerily sung by a children’s choir at Cohn’s funeral). The “source” for confirming that Trump underwent these procedures (apart from having eyes)? Ivana’s divorce deposition. Along with her stating that Trump raped her—a scene that is harrowingly recreated in The Apprentice.

    Although, in 2015, Ivana amended the statement she made (saying, “As a woman, I felt violated, as the love and tenderness, which he normally exhibited towards me, was absent. I referred to this as a ‘rape,’ but I do not want my words to be interpreted in a literal or criminal sense”), Sherman was determined to include this scene, insisting, “I couldn’t stand behind a movie that didn’t explore Trump’s misogyny. I needed the film to engage with that, and this scene is the most powerful and visceral way. Sexually assaulting somebody you love is such a transgression. Dramatically, it showed the depth to which Donald Trump had sunk at that point in the story.” Sort of like Elvis with Priscilla (who also refers to a rape in Elvis & Me). Except that Elvis actually had a talent and Trump was, more than anything, threatened by Ivana’s star eclipsing his in a way that Elvis’ never was by Priscilla.

    As for Cohn, he felt threatened by Ivana long before Trump. Not just because of his romantic jealousy, but because of his fear of Trump losing half of his “hard-won” assets, thus drafting an ironclad prenup that ends up offending Ivana in The Apprentice. But not as much as Cohn himself will end up being offended by Trump’s cold shoulder as he grows wary of associating with a “known fag.” AIDS being the ultimate outing device in the 80s (just ask Rock Hudson, summarily abandoned by his “good friends,” the Reagans when his condition became too much of a “political hot potato”). Even so, Trump offers one more “act of goodwill” by inviting him for a “goodbye forever” sendoff (thinly disguised as a “birthday celebration”) at Mar-a-Lago in early 1986, which Trump had freshly purchased in 1985. It is here that Trump gifts Cohn a pair of diamond platinum cufflinks. Ivana is the one to tell him that they’re fake and that “Donald has no shame.” This little detail layers the scene with heightened tension and emotion, as Cohn suddenly grasps the gravity of what he’s created through the revelation of how effortlessly Trump not only lies, but delivers those lies with such conviction. Sherman noted of these types of absurd moments in The Apprentice, “A lot of scenes in this movie seem so crazy that you think maybe a screenwriter invented them, but there’s actually a record of them happening.”

    Sherman chooses to end the film just after Cohn’s death, with Trump in his office going over “talking points” for what would become The Art of the Deal. Written by Tony Schwartz (though Trump was sure to put his name on the book), who was hired by Trump precisely because of the unfavorable article he published in New York Magazine about the “real estate titan,” Trump is depicted as someone scrambling for anything of substance to say to his “ghostwriter” as material for the manuscript. Right out the gate, his past and childhood is something he doesn’t want to delve deeply into, saying there’s nothing “to” people other than wanting to make a lot of money and be winners—no psychoanalysis required to see that. With little else to probe, Schwartz tries to draw out some of the simple steps for making a “good deal.” Trump then regurgitates the three rules for success that Cohn had taught him long ago, listing the “rules” as though he thought of them himself.

    And it’s a scene that’s entirely believable as fact, what with Sherman remarking, “People who have known Trump since the 1980s told me that Donald was using both the techniques and words that Cohn taught him. That’s really when the inspiration for the movie came about, thinking about the ghost of Roy Cohn inhabiting the body of Donald Trump.” Again, Trump hasn’t escaped his “father.”

    Matt Tyrnauer, director of the 2019 documentary Where’s My Roy Cohn?, already established what Sherman reemphasized by stating to NPR, “Donald Trump is Roy Cohn. He completely absorbed all of the lessons of Cohn, which were attack, always double down, accuse your accusers of what you are guilty of, and winning is everything. And Trump absorbed these lessons and has applied them in every aspect of his life and career.” The one lesson Trump didn’t seem to absorb from Cohn, however, is that the truth always—but always—catches up to you. Granted, Cohn avoided paying fully for his sins by dying before he had to. Perhaps the same will be true of his protégé.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Death Becomes Her: The Ultimate Female Aging Commentary

    Death Becomes Her: The Ultimate Female Aging Commentary

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    In the early 90s, Hollywood was becoming more self-aware of its own ageism. Perhaps in a manner not seen since Billy Wilder’s groundbreaking 1950 film, Sunset Boulevard. The first movie of its kind to truly lambast “the biz” in a manner that had never been done before. So damning, in fact, that the luminaries of Hollywood were not ready for it, with Louis B. Mayer reportedly yelling at Wilder, “You bastard! You have disgraced the industry that made you and fed you! You should be tarred and feathered and run out of Hollywood!” In the wake of its release, other “anti-Hollywood” movies would follow, including 1952’s The Star, with Bette Davis in the lead role that smacked of Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson) in terms of the whole “aging, irrelevant star clings to former glory that can never be recaptured” angle. Tellingly, the movie came out eight months after Singin’ in the Rain the same year (as did The Bad and the Beautiful, the story of an insufferable producer named Jonathan Shields [Kirk Douglas]). This, too, being a condemning tale of how fickle and merciless the industry is when it comes to tossing out “irrelevant women” without a second thought. After all, movies aren’t about making “art” (contrary to the MGM saying, “Ars gratia artis” a.k.a. “Art for art’s sake”)—they’re about the bottom line.

    Perhaps the industry didn’t want to allow an entire genre to be carved out about itself right away, because it wasn’t really until the 90s that self-referential movies of a meta, satirical nature started coming out again. 1992 being the year of both The Player and Death Becomes Her. Then there was Swimming With Sharks in 1994, the tale of a dastardly movie mogul named Buddy Ackerman (the then socially acceptable Kevin Spacey) and the new assistant he abuses daily. Barton Fink and Bowfinger would provide bookends to the decade as well, each coming out in 1991 and 1999, respectively. Additionally, Hollywood provided the mid-90s “romp” Get Shorty and, two years later, another pièce de résistance of the genre via 1997’s L.A. Confidential. But out of all of them, Death Becomes Her was the most tailored release vis-à-vis addressing the lengths a woman feels she must go to in order to stay looking “forever young.”

    Of course, a resurgence in self-mockery didn’t mean Hollywood was actually going to do anything about its ageist proclivities in terms of making a significant change—a.k.a. rendering the industry as more friendly to the “aged.” To be clear, in Hollywood, “aged” means pretty much any number over thirty. Even to this day. The only thing women, actresses or otherwise, have on their side at the moment is the advancement of various anti-aging “remedies” (i.e., expensive creams and/or plastic surgery). But even those “tactics” tend to end up doing her a disservice as she can be equally as ribbed for her attempts at looking younger (see: the malignment of Madonna after her 2023 Grammys appearance). As Madeline Ashton (Meryl Streep) is by the time we reach the midpoint of Death Becomes Her. On her last legs as a “viable” (read: fuckable) actress, her long-time frenemy (but really just enemy), Helen Sharp (Goldie Hawn), comes to see her at the beginning of the film, written by Martin Donovan and David Koepp, and directed by Robert Zemeckis. Because perhaps no one understands better than men just how much women are valued for their youth and looks above all else.

    Commencing in 1978, Death Becomes Her wastes no time in introducing its audience to the rampant ageism not only against women in general, but women in the entertainment industry in particular. Zemeckis sets the scene on Madeline’s opening night performance of Songbird!, a Broadway adaptation of Tennessee Williams’ Sweet Bird of Youth (in truth, one wonders if Williams didn’t get his own inspiration from Sunset Boulevard). The irony here being that the part of Alexandra del Lago a.k.a. Princess Kosmonopolis was written for Tallulah Bankhead, who would have been fifty-four years old when the play first came out in 1956. Not exactly the “age group” Madeline would want to be associated with, and yet, a job is a job.

    After the audience lambasts her as they walk out, with such commentary as, “Madeline Ashton! Talk about waking the dead,” we’re given a glimpse of her supposedly cringeworthy (no more than usual for something meant to be set in the 70s) performance before Zemeckis cuts to her in her dressing room, staring at herself in the mirror as she reworks a famed lullaby into: “Wrinkled, wrinkled little star…hope they never see the scars.” Her lament over watching her youth fade is augmented tenfold as a result of being damned to see that youthful version of herself forever immortalized onscreen. Constantly making her yearn to be that girl again, as opposed to appreciating what she had when she had it. The same parallel can be found in Norma Desmond, with her boy toy/hired personal screenwriter, Joe Gillis (William Holden), observing the way she watches herself so lovingly onscreen. This prompts Joe to remark in a voiceover, “…she was still sleepwalking along the giddy heights of a lost career—plain crazy when it came to that one subject: her celluloid self.” The only “real” self, as far as Norma (and her delusions) is concerned.

    But Madeline isn’t so naïve. The Hollywood of the 70s and beyond would hardly allow her to be. Which is why she knows that when Helen reemerges after a seven-year disappearance from the public eye to throw a book party (taking place in then-present 1992) that Madeline’s been invited to—very deliberately—she’s fully aware she needs to look her best. Knows that it’s an opportunity to prove, once again, that she’s “superior” to Helen, if for no other reason than because she’s still “the hot one.” What she can’t fathom is that the entire motive for Helen to put on the fête is because she wants to parade just how amazing she looks and how well she’s doing to an ever-dwindling-in-importance Madeline (reminding the latter of as much when she tells her condescendingly at the party, “Gosh, I’m glad you came. I didn’t know if you would. I spoke to my PR woman and she said, ‘Madeline Ashton goes to the opening of an envelope’”).

    Even before arriving and realizing that she’s been outdone aesthetically by Helen, she senses the urgency of needing to go to her med spa and seek another treatment. But when her “specialist” refuses to give her the procedure she wants again so soon and instead offers a collagen buff, Madeline retorts, “Collagen buff? You might as well tell me to wash my face with soap and water.” Trying her best to keep her customer calm, the aesthetician then offers to do her makeup. Madeline balks, “Makeup is pointless! It does nothing anymore!” Not for “mature skin,” as it’s “politely” called in the world of foundation and concealer. She then verbally lashes the youthful aesthetician with, “You stand there with your twenty-two-year-old skin and your tits like rocks!” In other words, this bitch couldn’t possibly understand what Madeline is going through (but oh, how she’s going to). The scent of Madeline’s desperation is evidently potent enough for Roy Franklin (William Frankfather), the owner of the spa, to materialize out of nowhere in the same room and slip her a business card that contains only an address in elegant script: 1091 Rue la Fleur. Never mind the fact that L.A. doesn’t have French street names, the decision to name it after a flower is entirely pointed. After all, flowers are frequently used as metaphors (especially in poetry) to represent the “budding” of a girl’s youth (a gross phrase, to be sure) followed by the eventual decaying of that bloom. The one that makes her ultimately repugnant to men (and women) of all ages.

    Even so, Madeline persists in doggedly ignoring this reality—able to do so with the perk of having enough cash to pay a boy toy…à la Norma Desmond. Dakota (Adam Storke), however, is growing weary of Madeline’s cloying nature. This much is apparent when she shows up at his door unannounced looking for false comfort in the wake of Helen’s book party. Unfortunately for her self-esteem level, she finds that he’s with another (younger) woman. When she acts upset about it, he finally snaps, “I’m sick of this shit, you know that? I am doing you a favor here.” She asks incredulously, “Doing me a favor? I gave you—” “Yeah, you gave, I gave. Big deal! Somebody told me we look ridiculous together. How do you think that makes me feel? You never think about my feelings. Go find someone your own age, Madeline!” If Joe Gillis had been a colder sort, he might have said the same thing to Norma…except he knew all too well of her suicidal inclinations at the drop of a hat.

    With Dakota’s scathing rejection being the last straw, Madeline gives in to going to the address she was slipped at her med spa. A house that belongs to one, Lisle von Rhuman (Isabella Rossellini). To Madeline’s surprise, Lisle is already expecting her, having her muscular lackeys invite her in and then diving into her philosophical ruminations on aging, such as, “We are creatures of the spring, you and I… You’re scared as hell—of yourself, of the body you thought you once knew.” The one that’s changing and mutating like some kind of cruel science experiment. As Iona (Annie Potts) in Pretty in Pink laments, “Oh, why can’t we start old and get younger?” (otherwise known as: Benjamin Button’s disease).

    Lisle continues to make strange overtures as she caresses Madeline’s hand and muses, “So warm, so full of life. And already it ebbs away from you. This is life’s ultimate cruelty. It offers us the taste of youth and vitality…and then makes us witness our own decay.” With no amount of money ever being able to truly stave off that degeneration.

    Even our early forebears couldn’t help but be concerned with aesthetics amid basic survival concerns, considering the first plastic surgery procedures have been documented all the way back to ancient Egypt. And that’s really saying something when taking into account the lifespan for most people at that juncture. A majority was prone to dying young, with the average life expectancy in ancient Egypt being nineteen years old (which certainly meets the “die young” criterion presented in the book and movie version of Logan’s Run). Richies, like the pharaohs, however, could typically count on a longer lifespan (quelle surprise), usually between thirty-five and forty years old. And obviously, they would want to look their best while outliving the hoi polloi. There is something to be said for that same desire in the celebrity set, our modern version of the pharaohs, one supposes. They, too, are youth-obsessed for the same two-pronged reason: 1) being in the public eye means perpetual scrutiny/people seeking out flaws as a means to belittle the work itself and 2) they want the commoner to understand that they are not the same. Even if, as some would like to speculate, “I don’t think people want perfection out of celebrities anymore. I think they want celebrities that they can see themselves in.”

    But truthfully, the fact that Death Becomes Her remains as pertinent now as it ever was is a testament to that theory being another lie some prefer to tell themselves. That the film has also become a cult classic in the queer community additionally speaks to the gerascophobia of the gays. Per Peaches Christ, who has remade Death Becomes Her as Drag Becomes Her, “Let’s face it, gay men especially have this issue. It’s actually a real issue. It’s a real darkness in our community where we don’t talk a lot about the ageism that exists among us. And it’s a real thing.” But let’s not get it twisted: no one has it worse than women when it comes to aging and being cast out by (male-dominated) society as a result. So obviously, Madeline and Helen would take the potion offered by Lisle, regardless of what the potential ramifications might be—which is that they effectively turn themselves into non-bloodsucking vampires.

    While Helen’s motives for doing it stem largely from her competitive history with Madeline and wanting to prove that the only thing Madeline ever had as an advantage is her looks (now fading), Madeline’s drive to take the potion is emblematic of what spurs most actresses (and pop stars). They’re all clamoring to remain seen (as they were) amid fresher, newer “talent” entering the fray. And “being seen” has only become even more of a challenge in the attention span-decimated present. As for Ernest (Bruce Willis), who the duo tries to convince to take the potion as well so that he can patch them up for eternity (he’s a plastic surgeon-turned-reconstructive mortician), he doesn’t want anything to do with immortality. Thus, he tells Lisle, “I don’t wanna live forever. It sounds good, but what am I gonna do? What if I get bored? What if I get lonely? Who am I gonna hang around with, Madeline and Helen?” Lisle sticks to the crux of the sales pitch by reminding, “But you never grow old.” Ernest bemoans, “But everybody else will. I’ll have to watch everyone around me die. I don’t think this is right. This is not a dream. This is a nightmare.” Or, as the first verse of Thomas Moore’s “The Last Rose of Summer” goes, “‘Tis the last rose of summer,/Left blooming alone;/All her lovely companions/Are faded and gone;/No flower of her kindred,/No rose-bud is nigh,/To reflect back her blushes/Or give sigh for sigh!”

     So sure, staying young and vibrant has its pluses, but, in the end, caving to vanity means you’ll end up stuck with someone as narcissistic and soulless as the Hollywood machine itself. And the way Madeline and Helen end up in the final scene, it doesn’t appear as though the price they’ve paid for “youth” has been worth the fine-print consequences.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Death Becomes Her and Beef: On Being Attracted to the Energy of a Person You Despise

    Death Becomes Her and Beef: On Being Attracted to the Energy of a Person You Despise

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    In 1992’s Death Becomes Her, the long-standing “friendship” between Madeline Ashton (Meryl Streep) and Helen Sharp (Goldie Hawn) quickly reveals itself to be a frenemyship fueled by jealousies and residual beef stemming from their many years of knowing one another, all the way back to being teens in New Jersey. With the film opening on Madeline’s ill-advised performance in a Broadway adaptation of Sweet Bird of Youth called Songbird!, it gives Helen the chance to see if her fiancé, Ernest Menville (Bruce Willis), can “pass the Madeline Ashton test.” In other words, is he immune to her charms and seductions the way so many of Helen’s previous boyfriends were not? For it’s clear that Madeline makes a sport of “winning” in an unspoken competition with Helen. Using her looks and wiles to outshine Helen’s “bookishness” and “class.” To this end, the yin and yang qualities in each woman speaks to their inevitable “attraction” to one another. Seeking something in the other person that she herself does not possess.

    In Helen’s case, the obvious characteristics she yearns for in Madeline are cliché blonde beauty and the artful wielding of coquettishness. In contrast, Madeline, although less overt about it, secretly resents Helen for being from a more “pedigreed” social class and her intelligence level. Of the variety that leads her to become an author. Though this doesn’t happen until many years after her fateful meeting with Madeline backstage in 1978.

    And it is in ’78 when Madeline is informed by her lackey, Rose (Nancy Fish), that Helen has arrived with her fiancé to greet her. She immediately asks, “How’s she look?” The intense desire to hear her underling respond with something like, “Terrible” is ruined when she instead says, “I don’t know. Smart, I guess. Sorta classy.” Madeline balks, “Classy? Really? Compared to who?” This bristling over Helen’s characterization as somehow superior because she’s not “cheap” like Madeline is something that comes up over and over again throughout Death Becomes Her. And yet, because all Madeline’s got are her trashy, smarmy tactics, she sticks to them—augmenting her sleaze tenfold by deciding to steal Ernest when she realizes he’s a renowned plastic surgeon she’s read about.

    But before that, when Helen does eventually come into the dressing room with Ernest, Madeline is all “pre-posed” for her (cleavage strategically exposed), under the guise of “acting naturally.” After the encounter, it doesn’t take long before she’s “stopping by” Ernest’s operating room and inviting him out for dinner. Upon hearing about this back at home, Helen proceeds to pull viciously at the tissue she’s holding (an ongoing anger tic that she uses to cope). She then tells Ernest, “You don’t know Madeline the way I do. She wants you. She wants you because you’re mine. I’ve lost men to her before… That’s why I wanted you to meet her before we got married, because I just had to see if you could pass the Madeline Ashton test.”

    Ernest insists, “Darling, I have absolutely no interest in Madeline Ashton.” Cut to Ernest and Madeline getting married instead of Ernest and Helen. Seven years later, in 1985, we see Helen holed up alone in her apartment, having gained ample weight and residing with a number of cats—as though she’s decided to surrender fully to her enemy by admitting that she’s no match for her, and she might as well just lean into all of her weaknesses…eating included. As the door is broken down to her apartment due to not paying rent, she could care less if the walls are crumbling around her, because there’s a scene of Madeline being strangled on TV that she is practically orgasming over as it happens.

    Six months later, at the psych ward, her therapist urges, “For you to have a life—for any of us to have a life—you have got to forget about her. You have to erase her from your mind. You need to eliminate—” That’s where Helen cuts her off and decides to take the “eliminate” advice only. Someone would likely tell Beef’s Amy Lau (Ali Wong) and Danny Cho (Steven Yeun) the same thing and they, too, would abide by the selective advice Helen opted to heed instead. For Amy and Danny, their beef begins later in life than the one between Madeline and Helen. Namely, after they proceed to engage in an ongoing feud sparked by a road rage incident started in the parking lot of Forster’s, a Home Depot-type store owned by Jordan Forster (Maria Bello). Jordan also happens to be the billionaire dangling the promise of buying Amy’s successful plant “boutique,” Kōyōhaus, and absorbing it under the “Forster’s umbrella.” Toying with her psychologically in such a way as to make Amy particularly irritable.

    Danny just so happens to back out of his parking spot unthinkingly (/in a glazed-over state of depression) right at the instant when Amy’s looking for someone to take her misplaced rage out on. But, unluckily for her, she has no idea that Danny, too, is filled with rage he’s looking to unleash on an unsuspecting victim—having unintentionally tapped into “unlocking” her nemesis. As for that word, which comes from the Greek goddess of the same name, it bears noting that said goddess was in control of vengeance, “distributing” (the loose translation of “nemesis”) retribution and justice. Except her modus operandi was not to do so right away, perhaps being the inspiration for the old chestnut, “Revenge is a dish best served cold” (the riffing tagline for Beef is, “Revenge is a dish best served raw”). A.k.a. when the person deserving of it (or who one believes is deserving of it) least expects it because so much time has gone by and, surely, somebody couldn’t possibly hold on to a grudge for that long…right? Dead wrong.

    Both sets of characters, Madeline and Helen/Amy and Danny, are testaments to that notion. That “letting go” is not an option. Not just because it serves as fuel/a raison d’être, but because there’s an underlying attraction beneath the all-out contempt. Dare one say “love”—thus, the oft-recited phrase, “There’s a fine line between love and hate.” And clearly each character pair sees something of themselves reflected back in the other. Some similar wound that calls to them. In Amy and Danny’s case that wound is feeling totally placeless in a world that prizes people who “belong.” Despite Amy’s financial success, her personal life is constantly strained, as she admits to Danny in the final episode, “Figures of Light,” that she can never really tell her husband, George (Joseph Lee), much of anything. When Danny asks, “Why not?” she replies thoughtfully, “I think when nowhere feels like home, you just retreat into yourself.” Or you make a home in your nemesis, oddly enough. Being that Danny and Amy are the only ones who can really understand one another because they can speak freely without judgment or the fear of “conditions,” their attraction in “Figures of Light” transitions from one of hate to pure love, with both admitting that they’ve never been able to talk to anyone the way they can talk to each other.

    The same ultimately goes for Madeline and Helen. Even after another seven years go by in Death Becomes Her, bringing us to then-present day 1992. This time, the shoe has shifted to the other foot in terms of Madeline reposing in bed as she struggles with her own weight gain state, all Norma Desmond-ed out in various facial bandages designed to help make her look young(er). When Rose hands her an invitation to Helen’s book party, she learns that, ironically enough, the title of Helen’s novel is Forever Young. Feeling personally attacked, she goes to her med spa to get some touch-ups. But they won’t give her what she wants, forcing her to attend the party looking like herself. A big mistake, she realizes, when she sees how good and thin Helen looks at the same age as her: fifty.

    Hot with envy after the party, Madeline decides to go to Lisle von Rhuman’s (Isabella Rossellini), whose address was given to her by the spa owner, Mr. Franklin (William Frankfather), mysteriously appearing out of nowhere at the spa when Madeline declared money was no object with regard to getting her youth and beauty back. Not yet aware that Helen is already a beneficiary of what Lisle has to offer—eternal youth via a potion—she doesn’t understand that her unwitting “power play” is another form of competition as well. One that will undo Helen’s plans to “eliminate” (per the word her therapist used) Madeline for good. Because the thing about the potion that Lisle fails to mention is that it not only supplies one with eternal youth, but also eternal life. Which means that Madeline and Helen will now be adversaries forever. Just a pair of Beverly Hills ghouls haunting the streets with their immortality.

    Nonetheless, the appeal of being hated by a committed enemy is that there is no fear of losing “unconditional” love. For the conditions of burning hate dictate that you must always hate that person no matter what. So any “outrageous” or “immoral” thing they might tell you is actually a boon to that cause. In this regard, Amy has effectively found what she’s looking for in Danny, because one of the running themes in Beef is that she knows no one can love her unconditionally—not even her daughter, June (Remy Holt)—for who she truly is. Not without her plastering on that smiling veneer and providing a sugar-coated “lite” edition of her personality. Danny feels the same, though it comes across to a lesser degree. Granted, his form of securing “unconditional” love is extracted through the master manipulation of his brother, Paul (Young Mazino).

    The one-upping lengths that Amy and Danny go to in order to make the other’s life hell is similar to what Madeline and Helen do, expending all their energy on keeping the other down, and plotting her destruction. “You should learn not to compete with me, I always win!” Madeline screams after they both get over the reality that each of them is dead and forever young, equalizing the playing field a little too much for both women’s taste. Helen is the one who starts the fight (featuring that illustrious hole in her stomach) with the shovels as they proceed to go at it in yet another fierce competition, this time more literally. Helen ripostes to Madeline’s claim, “You may have always won, but you never played fair!” This is something Danny could easily say to Amy, who has the financial means and security to get at Danny with far more ease.

    Finally fathoming it’s mostly pointless to keep fighting, Madeline reminds Helen, “We can’t even inflict pain.” Helen snaps back, “I’ll tell ya about pain! Bobby O’Brien! Scott Hunter! Ernest Menville! That’s pain! I loved every one of them and they loved me… They were all I had and you took them away from me. Not because you loved them, not because you cared. But just to hurt me on purpose.” As the two delve deeper into their long-marinating beef, Madeline counters to Helen playing the sole victim, “Do you think I was blind, deaf? I couldn’t hear what you and your snotty friends were saying about me? You thought I was cheap.” Helen rebuffs, “Oh, please. You’re insane.” Madeline demands, “Then how come you never invited me to one of those parties at your parents’?” Helen shrugs, “Because we didn’t think you’d feel comfortable. It wasn’t usual for… It wasn’t usual for us to have…” “Trash in the house!” Madeline cuts in. Helen redirects, “You’re avoiding the issue. You stole my boyfriends to hurt me on purpose!” “I did not!” “Admit it!” Madeline insists, “No, you admit it. You look me in the eye and you admit you thought I was cheap.” Helen gives in, ceding, “Okay, I thought you were cheap.” As a reward for her honesty, Madeline confirms, “Well, I hurt you on purpose.” And so, like Danny with Amy, Madeline kept using the one thing she had—her “trashy wiles”—to get back at someone “classier” such as Helen.

    Having buried the hatchet with one another after an ultimate fight (which is what happens in Beef when Amy and Danny run each other off a cliff in their cars), the two now join forces to get Ernest to do their bidding and ensure that their youthful corpse bodies are kept looking fresh (Ernest is an expert in this after being forced to become a reconstructive mortician)—generally by spray-painting their skin in a flesh-colored tone. Unfortunately, their shared enthusiasm for making Ernest “one of them” so that he can be around forever to deliver the needed “maintenance” on their bodies backfires when Ernest comes to understand that living forever sounds like a nightmare. Managing to escape from their clutches after they knock him out and take him to Lisle’s house, Madeline and Helen are forced to reconcile the fact that despite being sworn enemies for all these decades, they’re the only two people on the planet who can truly understand one another. But that’s as horrifying as it is comforting, with Helen noting, “Who could have imagined? You and me…together.” Madeline returns, “Yeah, I know.” Helen continues, “Depending on each other. Painting each other’s asses. Day and night.” Madeline laughs along nervously, “Oh, yeah. Forever.” Helen repeats, “Forever” as their forced jovial laughter turns to near tears.

    Cut to thirty-seven years later in 2029, and the duo’s skin is peeling at Ernest’s funeral. Regardless of their misery, they still obviously get off on their bickering—it’s like a life-force they can use to funnel into remaining “sharp” and “with purpose.” That much can also be said for Amy and Danny as they let their feud steer both their lives completely off course…but at least they can tell they’re still alive as a result (unlike Madeline and Helen).

    In the poster for Beef, Amy and Danny are shown staring at each other with an intensity that looks as much like hate as it does love. Ergo, the aforementioned aphorism: “There’s a fine line between love and hate.” And there is something to being attracted to the energy of a person you seemingly despise, seeing a quality in them that you can relate to…or a quality you perhaps despise in yourself. No matter how outwardly “different” your nemesis might come across in relation to your own persona.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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