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Tag: marriage

  • Have a look at the whos, whats and whens of leap year through time

    Have a look at the whos, whats and whens of leap year through time

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    NEW YORK — Leap year. It’s a delight for the calendar and math nerds among us. So how did it all begin and why?

    Have a look at some of the numbers, history and lore behind the (not quite) every four year phenom that adds a 29th day to February.

    The math is mind-boggling in a layperson sort of way and down to fractions of days and minutes. There’s even a leap second occasionally, but there’s no hullabaloo when that happens.

    The thing to know is that leap year exists, in large part, to keep the months in sync with annual events, including equinoxes and solstices, according to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory at the California Institute of Technology.

    It’s a correction to counter the fact that Earth’s orbit isn’t precisely 365 days a year. The trip takes about six hours longer than that, NASA says.

    Contrary to what some might believe, however, not every four years is a leaper. Adding a leap day every four years would make the calendar longer by more than 44 minutes, according to the National Air & Space Museum.

    Later, on a calendar yet to come (we’ll get to it), it was decreed that years divisible by 100 not follow the four-year leap day rule unless they are also divisible by 400, the JPL notes. In the past 500 years, there was no leap day in 1700, 1800 and 1900, but 2000 had one. In the next 500 years, if the practice is followed, there will be no leap day in 2100, 2200, 2300 and 2500.

    Still with us?

    The next leap years are 2028, 2032 and 2036.

    The short answer: It evolved.

    Ancient civilizations used the cosmos to plan their lives, and there are calendars dating back to the Bronze Age. They were based on either the phases of the moon or the sun, as various calendars are today. Usually they were “lunisolar,” using both.

    Now hop on over to the Roman Empire and Julius Caesar. He was dealing with major seasonal drift on calendars used in his neck of the woods. They dealt badly with drift by adding months. He was also navigating a vast array of calendars starting in a vast array of ways in the vast Roman Empire.

    He introduced his Julian calendar in 46 BCE. It was purely solar and counted a year at 365.25 days, so once every four years an extra day was added. Before that, the Romans counted a year at 355 days, at least for a time.

    But still, under Julius, there was drift. There were too many leap years! The solar year isn’t precisely 365.25 days! It’s 365.242 days, said Nick Eakes, an astronomy educator at the Morehead Planetarium and Science Center at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.

    Thomas Palaima, a classics professor at the University of Texas at Austin, said adding periods of time to a year to reflect variations in the lunar and solar cycles was done by the ancients. The Athenian calendar, he said, was used in the fourth, fifth and sixth centuries with 12 lunar months.

    That didn’t work for seasonal religious rites. The drift problem led to “intercalating” an extra month periodically to realign with lunar and solar cycles, Palaima said.

    The Julian calendar was 0.0078 days (11 minutes and 14 seconds) longer than the tropical year, so errors in timekeeping still gradually accumulated, according to NASA. But stability increased, Palaima said.

    The Julian calendar was the model used by the Western world for hundreds of years. Enter Pope Gregory XIII, who calibrated further. His Gregorian calendar took effect in the late 16th century. It remains in use today and, clearly, isn’t perfect or there would be no need for leap year. But it was a big improvement, reducing drift to mere seconds.

    Why did he step in? Well, Easter. It was coming later in the year over time, and he fretted that events related to Easter like the Pentecost might bump up against pagan festivals. The pope wanted Easter to remain in the spring.

    He eliminated some extra days accumulated on the Julian calendar and tweaked the rules on leap day. It’s Pope Gregory and his advisers who came up with the really gnarly math on when there should or shouldn’t be a leap year.

    “If the solar year was a perfect 365.25 then we wouldn’t have to worry about the tricky math involved,” Eakes said.

    Bizarrely, leap day comes with lore about women popping the marriage question to men. It was mostly benign fun, but it came with a bite that reinforced gender roles.

    There’s distant European folklore. One story places the idea of women proposing in fifth century Ireland, with St. Bridget appealing to St. Patrick to offer women the chance to ask men to marry them, according to historian Katherine Parkin in a 2012 paper in the Journal of Family History.

    Nobody really knows where it all began.

    In 1904, syndicated columnist Elizabeth Meriwether Gilmer, aka Dorothy Dix, summed up the tradition this way: “Of course people will say … that a woman’s leap year prerogative, like most of her liberties, is merely a glittering mockery.”

    The pre-Sadie Hawkins tradition, however serious or tongue-in-cheek, could have empowered women but merely perpetuated stereotypes. The proposals were to happen via postcard, but many such cards turned the tables and poked fun at women instead.

    Advertising perpetuated the leap year marriage game. A 1916 ad by the American Industrial Bank and Trust Co. read thusly: “This being Leap Year day, we suggest to every girl that she propose to her father to open a savings account in her name in our own bank.”

    There was no breath of independence for women due to leap day.

    Being born in a leap year on a leap day certainly is a talking point. But it can be kind of a pain from a paperwork perspective. Some governments and others requiring forms to be filled out and birthdays to be stated stepped in to declare what date was used by leaplings for such things as drivers licenses, whether Feb. 28 or March 1.

    Technology has made it far easier for leap babies to jot down their Feb. 29 milestones, though there can be glitches in terms of health systems, insurance policies and with other businesses and organization that don’t have that date built in.

    There are about 5 million people worldwide who share the leap birthday out of about 8 billion people on the planet. Shelley Dean, 23, in Seattle, Washington, chooses a rosy attitude about being a leapling. Growing up, she had normal birthday parties each year, but an extra special one when leap years rolled around. Since, as an adult, she marks that non-leap period between Feb. 28 and March 1 with a low-key “whew.”

    This year is different.

    “It will be the first birthday that I’m going to celebrate with my family in eight years, which is super exciting, because the last leap day I was on the other side of the country in New York for college,” she said. “It’s a very big year.”

    Eventually, nothing good in terms of when major events fall, when farmers plant and how seasons align with the sun and the moon.

    “Without the leap years, after a few hundred years we will have summer in November,” said Younas Khan, a physics instructor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. “Christmas will be in summer. There will be no snow. There will be no feeling of Christmas.”

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  • What Are We Fighting For?

    What Are We Fighting For?

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    They were perfectly matched in so many ways. She was a young lawyer (land use law) and so was he (media rights). They were both Midwest transplants to Seattle. They were busy and ambitious, and loved to pack their free time with new experiences. When they first met, they’d venture out someplace new every weekend. They hopped in the car and drove up to Vancouver for the weekend to wander the open-air market or pop in for some late-night sushi. They headed off into the mountains for an overnight camping trip. Or they grabbed last-minute tickets to a play. They both worked long hours but loved to be spontaneous in their time off. 

    There was just one tiny problem. She wanted a puppy. He didn’t. 

    A year later, there was indeed a puppy—one that had grown into a big, happy, playful dog. But the marriage was ending. Divorce papers were signed. The two moved out of the house they’d bought together before they got married, the one they came home to the night of their wedding, still shaking the sparkly confetti the guests had tossed out of their hair and clothes, laughing. They split up all their furniture, books, pots and pans. She, of course, took the dog.

    How did a puppy break up this marriage?

    The fight started out simply: with a difference of opinion. He thought dogs were too much responsibility, too much work, too much commitment. You couldn’t leave a dog home for very long—you couldn’t even go away for the day. And dogs could get expensive. Didn’t they want to use their extra money in other ways? Hadn’t they talked about traveling?

    But his job required frequent business trips, and he was gone a lot, leaving her alone in the house, where she worked long hours from home. She felt lonely, and when he was away overnight she got spooked. They hadn’t really been traveling like they’d once talked about—why not get a puppy, a buddy for her to keep her company? She imagined the dog accompanying them on weekend hikes, riding in the car with its head out the window. It was nice to picture them as a threesome: a couple with their dog.

    They weren’t getting anywhere. They just kept looping around inside the same argument, with no resolution. His concerns about time, money, and commitment seemed so overblown—if he would just try it, she was sure, he’d see it wasn’t that much work! So, she decided: she would just get a puppy and give it to him as a gift. Once there was a real, live, adorable fuzzball in his lap, how could he re- sist? He’d come around.

    He did not come around.

    The conflict escalated. He was upset that she’d ignored him and done what she wanted to. She was upset that he continued to dig his heels in, even after she’d told him how important this was to her. To him, the puppy in the house was a constant reminder of how she’d completely disregarded how he felt and what was important to him. To her, his refusal to accept the dog felt like a rejection of her and her needs. Every little thing about the dog sparked a fight: Who would take him out. The vet bill. Having to add his food to the grocery list. Worse, they were fighting about other stuff now too—more than they ever had before.

    She started to notice how little he did around the house. Okay, fine, she thought, she’d do most of the dog stuff—it had been her idea. But he seemed to leave the rest of the housework to her too. Either he didn’t care, or he just expected it—is that what it would be like, she wondered, if they had a baby? For his part, the way she brought stuff up grated on him. She never just asked for help. She’d say, “I guess I’m doing the dishes again tonight,” and some little flash of anger inside him would make him snap, “Yeah, I guess so.” Later, feeling bad, he’d try to do more—he’d put a few loads of laundry through, clean the bathroom—but she never noticed.

    They were spending less and less time together. And one Friday afternoon, when he reminded her that he was going away for the weekend on a camping trip with an old high school buddy, she felt overwhelmed by anger and sadness.

    “Oh, so you’re just going to take off,” she said, suddenly on the verge of tears, “and I can stay home with this dog you never wanted.”

    Blindsided, he blew up. “What is the matter with you?” he shouted. “I’ve had this trip planned for months! It has nothing to do with the stupid dog!”

    There was fuel behind this fight, just under the surface, like underground oil feeding a fire: each of them had a hidden agenda.

    His hidden agenda: he wanted freedom and adventure.

    Her hidden agenda: she wanted a family.

    But they barely acknowledged these deeper truths to themselves, much less to each other.

    They retreated further and further from each other, each digging into his or her own separate foxhole, from which they lobbed accusations and criticisms like grenades. One day, she caught a bad cold and couldn’t take the dog out—he had to do it. He was filled with resentment every time he had to stop doing something important to clip the leash on—he hadn’t signed up for this! On another day, the puppy made his own sign of protest: he did his little dump right under the husband’s desk, where he worked when he was home.

    He said he wasn’t cleaning it up.

    She said she wasn’t cleaning it up.

    That tiny pile of poo marked the line nobody would cross—to cross it would be to admit defeat, to let the other side win.

    When they sold the house in the divorce, they had a cleaning service come in. The cleaners moved from room to room, washing away all the evidence of this couple’s life together—their fingerprints and cooking spices, dust and left-behind papers—to make the space spotless for the prospective buyers who would be coming through, imagining themselves living there instead. And then they came to the desk.

    Do you know what happens when you leave dog poop for a long time?

    It turns into a hard, white lump.

    Yes, the punchline of this story is . . . mummified dog poop. And we’re sorry! But we’re telling you this story because it’s so universal: every couple has some small disagreement that won’t go away, snowballs, and turns into a huge blockage. And it seems so trivial! It’s easy to hear this story and think: What a terrible reason to break up a good marriage—over a puppy?

    Well, the fight wasn’t really about the puppy. Or the poop. The puppy represented major life philosophies for each person. When they fought about taking the dog out, or the vet bill, or who should perform the errand of shopping for dog food, they weren’t really fighting about those things. They were fighting about their values, their dreams, their vision of what they wanted out of marriage, and out of life. They were fighting about some really foundational stuff— stuff that would have been good for them to dig into, and might even have saved their marriage if they had. But they never got there. They never really figured out what they were actually fighting about, or how to talk to each other about it. Their fights became destructive, and eventually that strong relationship they’d once had splintered apart.

    This was a long time ago, before John started his work studying couples. He didn’t fully understand the depths of their conflict until much later, when his research taught him more about the science of relationships. In the end, he wasn’t able to help them. They did unfortunately split up. But since then, we have helped thousands of other couples who were just as gridlocked, just as stuck, just as desperately out of sync.

    In writing this book, we thought about that long-ago couple a lot. We wish we’d known then what we know now, with fifty years of research under our belt. If we could go back in time, this is the book we would write for them.

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    Drs. John and Julie Gottman

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  • How Well Do You Know Me? Questions For Partner, Family & Friends

    How Well Do You Know Me? Questions For Partner, Family & Friends

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    More than likely, there aren’t many people who know your go-to coffee order, the name of your first pet, your biggest fear, and how you’d spend $1 million. You might not even know all of that information about yourself. But quizzing your loved ones about your life can be a fun way to pass the time (and find out how well they know you).

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  • 14 Powerful Genre-Bending Films That Explore Love in Unconventional Ways

    14 Powerful Genre-Bending Films That Explore Love in Unconventional Ways

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    Explore the world of love through a variety of lenses. Here’s a collection of powerful films that each portray love and romance in a unique way, spanning multiple genres including drama, comedy, fantasy, animation, and sci-fi.


    “Cinema is a mirror by which we often see ourselves.”

    Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu


    Movies give us the opportunity to explore major themes in life in a meaningful and profound way.

    A powerful film can lead to a better understanding of your own experiences. It can communicate thoughts and emotions that may have been challenging to express; and, at times, completely reshape our perspective on life.

    For better or worse, movies play a pivotal role in shaping our beliefs and map of reality. We pick up ideas through films, sometimes absorbed at a very young age, and those ideas find their way into our daily lives influencing our choices and perspectives.

    Filmmakers understand the transformative power of cinema, purposely using it to shake up people’s consciousness. The goal of a solid film is to create an experience that leaves you a different person by the end of it.

    As viewers, it’s essential to be aware of a film’s effects both emotionally and intellectually. Often, the movies that linger in our thoughts long after watching are the most impactful and life-changing.

    Here’s a collection of classic films about love and romance. Each movie has had a lasting influence on audiences in one way or another. It’s an eclectic list that spans multiple genres, including drama, comedy, animation, fantasy, mystery, and sci-fi.

    Titanic (1997)

    James Cameron’s epic tale blends love and tragedy against the historical backdrop of the Titanic’s sinking in 1912. The film weaves a captivating narrative of a forbidden romance blossoming amidst a natural disaster.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

    In this mind-bending story, a man attempts to erase the memories of a lost love using cutting-edge technology, only to find fate conspiring to bring the couple back together repeatedly. The film explores the complexities of memory, love, and destiny.

    Beauty and the Beast (1991)

    Disney’s classic adaptation of the French fairy tale is celebrated for its beautiful animation and memorable songs. The film goes beyond appearances, illustrating the transformative power of true love.

    Her (2013)

    Set in a near-future world, “Her” tells the unconventional love story of a lonely man who forms a deep connection with his computer’s operating system. The film delves into themes of technology, loneliness, and the nature of human connection.

    Before Sunrise (1995)

    Richard Linklater’s film follows two young tourists who meet on a train in Europe and share an unforgettable night in Vienna. The movie explores the transient nature of connections and the profound impact of brief encounters.

    Lost in Translation (2003)

    Sofia Coppola’s film features a washed-up American celebrity and a young woman forging an unexpected bond in Tokyo. “Lost in Translation” navigates themes of loneliness, connection, and self-discovery.

    Cinema Paradiso (1988)

    An Italian filmmaker reflects on his past and learns how to channel his love in a different and creative way through his art and craftsmanship.

    Past Lives (2023)

    Two childhood friends reconnect after years apart, seeking to unravel the meaning behind their enduring connection. The film explores the complexities of friendship, time, and shared history.

    Check out: In-Yeon: Exploring “Past Lives” and Eternal Connections

    The Lobster (2015)

    Set in a dystopian future, “The Lobster” challenges societal norms by presenting a world where individuals must choose a romantic partner within 45 days or face transformation into an animal. The film satirizes the pressure to conform in matters of love.

    Annie Hall (1977)

    Woody Allen’s classic romantic comedy is a hilarious and heartfelt movie that explores neurotic love and the psychological obstacles we commonly face in marriage and long-term relationships.

    Your Name. (2016)

    A masterful anime that combines elements of science fiction, fantasy, and romance. It centers on a mysterious connection between a boy and girl who swap bodies, learn about each other’s lives, and search to find each other in real life.

    A Woman Under the Influence (1974)

    John Cassavetes’ uncomfortably raw and dramatic portrayal of the profound impact of mental illness on marriage and family, navigating the complexities with unflinching honesty.

    The Fountain (2006)

    Darren Aronofsky’s “The Fountain” explores love and mortality through three interconnected storylines spanning different time periods. The film delves into themes of eternal love and the quest for immortality, providing a visually stunning and emotionally resonant experience.

    Scenes From a Marriage (1974)

    Legendary director Ingmar Bergman’s deeply incisive and detailed chronicle of a rocky marriage’s final days.

    Choose one movie and analyze it

    Each of these films offers a different perspective on love while also pushing the boundaries of cinema and story-telling.

    It’s fun to compare each story: How did the couples meet? What defined “love” for them? What obstacles did they face? Did the relationship work out in the end or not? Why?

    Exercise: Choose one movie from the list that you haven’t seen before and do the Movie Analysis Worksheet (PDF).

    While films are often seen as just a source of entertainment or healthy escapism, they can also be an avenue for self-improvement and growth.

    The “Movie Analysis Worksheet” is designed to make you think about the deeper themes behind a film and extract some lessons from it that you can apply to your life.

    Watch with a friend and discuss

    If you don’t want to do the worksheet, just watch one of the movies with a friend (or loved one) – then discuss it after.

    Watching a film together is an opportunity to share a new experience. It can also spark up interesting conversations. This is one reason why bonding through movies is one of the most common ways we connect with people in today’s world.

    Which film will you check out?


    Enter your email to stay updated on new content on self improvement:

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    Steven Handel

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  • This Valentine’s Day, I’m Doing Things Differently

    This Valentine’s Day, I’m Doing Things Differently

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    Beyond the gift I’m giving, this February 14th marks a private pledge to enhance our bond from my side.

    It’s gift season. Christmas was in December; Katie’s birthday is in January, and now Valentine’s Day is here. Yes, I’ll get Katie a gift for Valentine’s Day (we always do something small for each other), but this year I’ve been thinking more about the purpose of this holiday. And I need it to mean something other than consumerism. 

    It’s been a crazy year for us, and we’ve found ourselves lamenting that our relationship has, at times, taken a back seat to the other priorities in life: kids, finances, Katie’s business, my health. It’s a season through which all relationships go, but to overcome it and get back on track, I’m looking at Valentines Day as a fresh start – a time for a few relational resolutions. In lieu of only a simple gift and a bouquet of flowers, I want to make a few changes. 

    Here are a few Valentine’s Day resolutions I’m considering this year…

    Active Listening

    I have three little girls who love to play loudly and argue loudly. It’s also an old house, which means I hear every one of their little footsteps upstairs; oh, and the washer, dryer, and dishwasher are basically always running. So it’s literally hard for me to hear Katie most of the time, especially when we try to talk to each other from different rooms (why the hell do we do that?)

    On top of all of that, I’m up at 5:45 everyday for work. Katie owns her own business and gets our girls ready for school in the morning before she heads to work. And at the end of the day, once the girls are in bed, we have nothing left. It’s easier to sit and stare at our phones than to converse and listen to each other. And as an English teacher, I’m great at talking, but listening is an intentional skill that I’ve had to cultivate (and I’m always working on it). 

    This year, I’m renewing my commitment to actively listening to my wife. I need to ask her more frequently how her day went, how she’s feeling about her business, about our relationship, about her friendships, then listen to the response and ask follow-up questions. Did that make you happy? That sounds like it was really tough, how are you dealing with that? Is there anything I can do to support you more in this? 

    Then it’s time for me to show her that I’ve listened. Ok, so I hear you saying xyz, is that right? If you can paraphrase back to your partner whatever it is that they just said to you, you can convey to them that what they say (and how they feel) matters. 

    a toy action figure for the Perfect Partner in its packaging

    Specific Compliments

    Recently we had a birthday party for our youngest, and we were chatting with one of the moms who brought her daughter over. Making conversation, I asked this mom a few questions about her daughter, but somehow all of her answers managed to come back to herself and what kind of mom she is. While I found this annoying, Katie humored her. She smiled, nodded, and agreed with what the mom was saying. 

    The next day, I made a point of telling Katie how impressed I am with her ability to meet people where they are socially. While I was getting impatient with the responses to my questions (and apparently I was wearing some of that impatience on my face), Katie realized that what mattered most was for this woman to feel comfortable in our home. 

    You tell your partner they’re pretty all the time, but the best compliments are the ones we get about who we are. Find those personality traits that make your partner stand out and speak them aloud. 

    a perfect partner action figure in its packaginga perfect partner action figure in its packaging

    Spend a Few Bucks Randomly

    And I mean literally just spend a few bucks every once in a while (not just on holidays). The truth is you shouldn’t need a reason to get a little something for your significant other. The point is to convey I was thinking about you even though it’s just an ordinary Tuesday. Here are a few cheap items that my wife loves, and maybe yours will too. 

    • Nail file
    • $10 Starbucks gift card
    • Small bouquet of flowers (Trader Joe’s flowers are awesome and cheap)
    • Favorite candybar 
    • Pack of gel pens
    • A new nail polish color
    • A gallon of washer fluid (my wife seemingly goes through a gallon a week)
    • Cozy soft socks
    • Hair accessories (headband, scarf)
    • Face mask (Marshall’s sells these in the cosmetics area for cheap)
    an asian toy figure in packaging that reads  perfect partneran asian toy figure in packaging that reads  perfect partner

    Work on Yourself 

    The truth is that our relationships benefit when we work on ourselves. I’m not saying you have to fix everything about yourself that annoys your partner, but intentional growth is a gift to both of you. This year I’m getting back to a regular exercise routine, and I’m working on keeping a more positive attitude. 

    There are a few ways to go about this…

    1. You could ask your partner if there’s something they’d like you to work on. If you go this route, you better be ready to take the feedback without getting defensive. 
    2. You could make the decision and then tell your partner: I’ve noticed it bothers you when I ____________, so this is something I’ve decided I want to work on. 
    3. You could start making the change and just keep it to yourself. And frankly guys, this is the best option. 

    Maybe you need to listen more, interrupt less, chip in more on the household chores, or be more present with the kids. If you haven’t exercised in a while, and your partner goes to the gym, start tagging along. If you have emotional hang ups hindering your relationship, go start seeing a therapist. The fact is we work on ourselves for our own benefit, but the byproduct of that work is often a healthier relationship. 

    There’s nothing wrong with picking up that tennis bracelet for Valentine’s Day, but this year, I need the day to be something more than another reason for me to spend money. I’m using this holiday as a reset, a springboard into some healthy habits for my relationship. I’ll let you know next year how it went. 



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    Mike Henson

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  • 10 Lovey-Dovey Games Where Your Character Can Get Married

    10 Lovey-Dovey Games Where Your Character Can Get Married

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    Valentine’s Day is that famous point of year where magic is in the air, there’s a twinkle in your eye, and you confess your romantic feelings by inflicting diabetes through excessive chocolate foisting.

    For all the rest of us who are forever alone on this day, your lovelorn friends at Twinfinite have got the perfect consolation prize with this list of games where your character can get married.

    We are excluding games where the sole objective is dating, because that’s cheating, and we all know cheating is toxic for a relationship. If you’re keen on that kind of content, you might like to browse our list of great dating sims, or learn about why the dating sim genre is so popular.

    Please don’t point out that I wrote both of those articles. I’m not sad, I’m just surrounded by handsome fictional men.

    Story of Seasons

    Image Source: Marvelous Games

    Since those nostalgic days playing Harvest Moon on the SNES, the franchise now known as Story of Seasons has offered a selection of eligible townsfolk for you to woo and wed. After all, the best thing for running your stables is, undoubtedly, a stable relationship.

    The latest entry, 2023’s remake of the GameCube title Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life, only has eight candidates for marriage, but they’re all so charming it’s still worth the effort. You can seduce them in the conventional manner, by engaging them in uplifting discussions and gifting them with their favorite items.

    Or, you can play the role of sleazy creeper by tracking down their hidden diaries to ascertain exactly what their darkest desires crave. Maybe it’ll be a fun story to tell your grandkids later on. Or maybe, it’ll result in a restraining order. Only one way to find out, so let’s hunt down those juicy farmin’ secrets.

    Final Fantasy XIV

    Two characters show off their dapper parasols in Final Fantasy XIV
    Image Source: Square Enix

    Do you remember back when you were a little kid, and you swore to your mother you would marry a catgirl someday? Oh, how she laughed, but who’s laughing now, mom? Me and my super cute Miqo’te waifu, that’s who.

    Final Fantasy XIV doesn’t have traditional marriage, but instead, the Ceremony of Eternal Bonding. You’ll be able to invite 40 of your closest friends — or your worst enemies, just to keep them in check — and exchange rings with your betrothed.

    This bling will allow you to teleport directly next to your partner, which makes the Ceremony of Eternal Bonding a helpful option if you like to adventure with your sweetheart. The Ceremony of Eternal Bondage, on the other hand, is much less romantic but I hear the fanart is quite stunning.

    Skyrim

    A character from Skyrim peering at the player with a whimsical look on her face
    Image Source: Bethesda Softworks

    Bethesda’s seminal open world RPG is an intense, heroic romp where you must slay foul beasts, save the planet, and shout with pure ferocity at thine foes. With that being said, it does have a marriage feature, so if you’d prefer you can shout with pure ferocity at your spouse, instead.

    Though you’re not able to pick from every single one of the various races in the kingdom (no Khajiit means my kitty waifu dreams are over before they ever really began), there’s still an extensive roster for the discerning Dragonborn.

    Married life has its own benefits, including skill-learning bonuses or delicious meals that boost your Health, Stamina, and Magicka. I’m not sure what kind of affectionate cooking Borgakh the orc warrior has within her repertoire, but it almost certainly involves meat. Maybe just don’t ask what kind of meat.

    Fire Emblem

    The cutscene that plays when Byleth marries Dedue in Fire Emblem: Three Houses
    Image Source: Nintendo

    Marriage between two units has been a mechanic in Fire Emblem for quite some time, and is still ongoing to this day on the Nintendo Switch. Engage’s Alear can form an eternal bond with their beloved, and Byleth can cross the boundaries of appropriate teaching conduct by taking the hand of one of their former students. May I suggest Raphael?

    Never was the function quite as prevalent as it was on the 3DS. In both Awakening and Fates, nearly all of your colleagues can wed one another, producing a child unit who shares in their unique traits. It’s up to you whether you want to pair the two best suited to one another in-universe, or just awkwardly mash them together in the hopes of their offspring being really handy with a lance.

    Alas, Western audiences were robbed of Fire Emblem Fates’ true potential; in the original Japanese release, marrying an ally would lead to a mini game where you could lovingly stroke their face. It was weird as hell, and in the end you probably just ended up poking Felicia in the eye repeatedly until she demanded a divorce.

    Love is fickle, I guess. Now back to the relentless poking.

    Tomodachi Life

    In this Tomodachi Life minigame, the player must aid one Mii in proposing to another
    Image Source: Nintendo

    Living on a remote island sure has its advantages, and you’d be surprised just who ends up moving in. While I was playing Tomodachi Life, I was resolute that LeBron James was destined to marry Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada.

    It took some hard work — as well as deterring the interferences of the lovestruck Margaret Thatcher, who was convinced that LeBron should have eyes only for her — but eventually the pair fell in love, got married, and moved to a quiet abode nearby.

    This barely scratches the surface of this game’s potential for matchmaking bliss. You can create a Mii lookalike based on yourself, and tie the knot with your childhood crush. Or you can let fate take its course and wait until two neighbors take an interest in one another.

    The result is a baby that ages at an alarming rate, and upon reaching their teenage years is sent off on an endless mission to travel the world. It’s not exactly model parenting, but I never picked Miranda as the motherly type in the first place.

    Fable

    best original xbox games fable
    Image Source: Lionhead Studios

    Up to this point, this list has been a mostly romantic affair. Meet someone, fall in love, and join one another in holy matrimony.

    Action RPG Fable plays its cards a little differently, on the other hand, as not every marriage is smooth sailing, and you’ll have to work hard to keep your spouse appeased. Treat them poorly enough and they’ll call the whole thing off — and yet, they can count themselves lucky.

    For you see, if you are well and truly through with the old ball and chain, you can elect to instead murder them and put yourself back on the market. Perhaps on your Tinder profile, you can imply that you’re “dangerous” in order to build intrigue.

    Would you swipe right on a murderer? I’m not picky, myself. Technically I think I’m married to a Probopass at this point in time.

    Stardew Valley

    Stardew Valley Sex Mods: Adult, Nude & Sexy: sexy clint mod
    Image via Blue_Starkiller

    Considering it is almost eight years old at this point, we can’t exactly proclaim Stardew Valley to be the new kid on the farming sim block anymore. Despite this, it’s still a huge deal, and the discourse rages on as to whom in Pelican Town is the most eligible bachelor/bachelorette/béchamel sauce.

    By building up your affection with the various denizens, you’ll undergo a series of events that reveal their true character. This allows you to really get to know them over a sustained period of time before you deign to pop that important question.

    If you’re feeling indecisive, please take a moment to consider the above image of a shirtless, muscular, and hirsute Clint. As this is merely the result of a third party mod and not in fact representative of actual gameplay, it is largely irrelevant to this piece.

    And yet, grrrrrrr, daddy, am I right?

    The Sims

    A widow remembers their lost spouse in Sims 4
    Image Source: Maxis Studios

    For generations, the Sims games have been a realistic facsimile for the trials and tribulations of a long life. Just like us, the Sims can fall desperately in love, get married, and settle down with a baby. Just like us, sometimes everything catches fire and one Sim is forever haunted by the ethereal presence of their deceased lover.

    That’s probably the worst case scenario, and in fairness, I’m not always haunted by the ethereal presence of my deceased lover (it’s only in the evenings, and all day on the weekend unless it’s football season). Your love-filled Sims session might pan out much better.

    The safest way to ensure this is by reading our list of the best Sims 4 mods, so I recommend you do that now. If you don’t, well, I hope you don’t mind hanging out with the ghosts of those you failed, you heartless wretch.

    My Time (Series)

    Romantic Relationship in My Time at Sandrock
    Image Source: Pathea Games

    In the same vein as Story of Seasons and Stardew Valley, the My Time games plonk you in the middle of a struggling society and task you with restoring it. In My Time at Portia, you’ll do so as a famous builder. In My Time at Sandrock, you’ll do much the same except with sand! Glorious.

    Once again, gifts are the name of the game, and you’ll have to listen hard if you’re keen on courting one of several eligible parties. Sandrock’s range of romanceable characters includes a tightlipped doctor, a recent divorcee, and a hardened criminal.

    Different strokes for different folks, I’m actually inclined to believe the doctor would be the least considerate in the bedroom. These are the kinds of things I think about when I’m playing the video games.

    BitLife

    how to become an actor in bitlife
    Image Source: Candywriter

    Look, marriage isn’t some treasured thing for all of us. Some folks just want to secure a suitable partner, procreate, and then spend the rest of our existence in quiet disdain. You might find it passionless, I’d prefer to think of it as highly efficient.

    In the life simulator BitLife, your goal is to guide a particular soul toward your preferred destination. You might want to see them become a world-renowned athlete, or maybe you’d like for them to pursue a career in the porn industry. Either way, little BitLife child, just know that your mumsy and dada are very proud.

    Marriage is of course a possibility, and you can even be coerced into an arranged marriage. If you refuse, your digital parents may push the issue until you’ve become completely estranged from the family and are banished from the lineage forevermore. I think at one point I implied that this was supposed to be a romantic article, so my (in)sincerest apologies for leaving things on a sour note. I ain’t got Valentime for this nonsense.

    We hope you enjoyed this passionate compendium of games where your character can get married. Perhaps you’ll feel inspired to try them for yourself, or even to go out and have a shotgun wedding at the earliest opportunity? Seems a bit drastic to me, but you do you, boo.

    About the author

    Tony Cocking

    A miserable little pile of secrets. Unabashed Nintendo stan, Resident Evil fancier and obscure anime enthusiast who insists everything is funnier when the rule of three is applied. Oh, and once I saw a blimp!

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    Tony Cocking

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  • For rights campaigner in Greece, same-sex marriage recognition follows decades of struggle

    For rights campaigner in Greece, same-sex marriage recognition follows decades of struggle

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    ATHENS, Greece — Years before starting a family of her own, Stella Belia was already waging a tireless campaign for legal recognition. Her fight may finally be over this week – a few months shy of her twin boys’ 17th birthday.

    Greek lawmakers are expected to legalize same-sex marriage in a parliament vote Thursday, with a rare display of cross-party collaboration.

    Approval would make Greece the first Orthodox Christian country to take that step, clearing multiple legal hurdles for gay couples who already have or want to have children.

    “I’ve been fighting for this ever since I figured out who I was,” says Belia, a 57-year-old drama teacher with a gruff voice and an easy laugh.

    “And it’s a great relief to say we’ve finally made it,” she said. “But it is tiresome, very tiresome to fight for something that’s an obvious right – to suffer for something that other people are just handed – and have to fight so hard to get it.”

    Belia split with her female partner when her sons were aged 11 but she considers her to be the boys’ other mother.

    Although civil partnerships were extended to gay couples in Greece nearly a decade ago, only the biological parents of children in those relationships are currently recognized as legal guardians.

    The issue of children’s rights, including the publicized plight of cancer survivors in a same-sex relationship, helped nudge public opinion toward narrowly favoring the bill that was sponsored by Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis’ conservative government.

    But it also triggered a strong reaction from the country’s Orthodox Church. Representing Greece’s dominant faith, the Church argues the marriage bill would confuse parental roles and weaken the traditional family.

    The Church petitioned lawmakers to reconsider in a public appeal also read out at Sunday services.

    Several prominent bishops have taken a tougher line, warning that they will refuse to baptize the children of gay couples. They allied with far-right political parties and traditionalist groups to stage public demonstrations.

    Protester Chara Giannakantonaki said she felt compelled to attend a rally held in front of parliament last Sunday.

    “Every minority already has its rights guaranteed. There is no issue. They don’t need (same-sex) marriage. They just want to desecrate whatever has remained sacred in Greece: Our Church, our families and our children,” she said. “But children are a red line and we will never accept this.”

    The Mitsotakis government is facing dissent among conservatives over the bill and will need support from the centrist and left-wing opposition to secure the 151-vote minimum in the 300-member parliament.

    Dimitris Mavros, managing director of the market research firm MRB Hellas, said the timing of the bill appeared to be carefully calculated: Backing a measure that props up Mitsotakis’ centrist credentials but with the controversy likely to blow over before the European Union-wide elections in June.

    Greeks in 2024, Mavros said, have shown a sharp rise in financial anxiety, their worries reflected in recent strikes and ongoing farmers’ protests.

    “I think the farmers’ (protests) and high prices – and issues that hurt people’s pockets – are going to overshadow the same-sex couples issue,” he said. “We’re probably going to get past this calmly.”

    Chrysa Gkotsopoulou and Elena Kotsifi, both engineers, for years told their families and colleagues they were roommates and only came out as a couple after moving to England for work in 2015.

    They now have a young daughter, Ariadne, and all three travel to Greece using their U.K. passports.

    “We quickly realized that England offered us prospects as a couple that we had never previously imagined.” Kotsifi, 38, said. “We could be ourselves.”

    They flew to Athens at the weekend to celebrate the bill’s expected approval, and said that for the first time in nearly a decade, they now view returning home as a possibility.

    They hope to join the activist Belia and others Thursday night in the public gallery in parliament and celebrations set to follow.

    “If there’s room for us (in parliament), we’d like to go,” Gkotsopoulou said. “We feel joy, joy and pride that Greece is moving to the right side of history.”

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  • A full rundown of Amanda Holden’s love life – from age-gap marriage to affair

    A full rundown of Amanda Holden’s love life – from age-gap marriage to affair

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    Amanda Holden has had her love life and relationships well documented in the press and is now loved up with her husband Chris Hughes.

    The star has been a successful name in the business for over 30 years.

    While most will know Amanda today as a judge on BGT and a breakfast radio host for Heart, she has many acting roles to her name, including Cutting It, The Grimleys, and Kiss Me Kate. Tonight (February 9), she joins Alan Carr for Alan and Amanda’s Italian Job.

    Since she’s been romantically linked to many familiar faces, here’s a full rundown of her love life…

    Amanda’s love life has been well-documented (Credit: Splashnews.com)

    Amanda dated co-star George Asprey?

    While not heavily documented, Amanda reportedly dated actor George Asprey in 1992.

    The pair are said to have been in a relationship when they both starred in The Sound of Music.

    Amanda admitted to affair while married to Les Dennis

    Three years after she reportedly dated George, Amanda tied the knot with comedian Les Dennis in June 1995, who was 18 years her senior.

    Despite the large age gap, the couple seemed happy to the public. That said, it was later revealed that Amanda had an affair with fellow actor Neil Morrissey.

    For this reason, Amanda and Les temporarily split in 2000 and got back together shortly after. However, they permanently split in December 2002 before divorcing the year after.

    Talking about their split at the time, Amanda got candid.

    “I terribly want children but I didn’t want to have them with Les. That’s a horribly brutal thing to say, but when you do, you know you have to move on,” she said.

    She also addressed the affair. Amanda told Good Housekeeping in  2013: “If a woman has an affair, there is normally a problem in their marriage. Neil rightly or wrongly got loads of stick. I feel like it was my fault – I was the one who was married.”

    Amanda Holden and Chris Hughes smiling
    Amanda has been happily married to Chris since 2008 (Credit: Splashnews.com)

    Amanda had children with her husband, Chris Hughes

    After Les and her affair with Neil, Amanda found love in record producer Chris Hughes.

    While engaged in 2006, Amanda gave birth to their first child, a daughter Alexa. The pair tied the knot two years later at Babington House in Somerset.

    After wanting more kids, Amanda had a miscarriage in 2010 while their son was stillborn the following year.

    In 2012, Amanda and Chris welcomed their second daughter Hollie.

    Happily married to this day, Amanda honoured her husband on Father’s Day last year.

    “You absolutely love your husband.. you don’t think you could love them more!! And then you watch them become a Daddy .. sometimes getting it right, sometimes getting it wrong but in all times.. a strong, wise, loving very funny presence in their lives,” she wrote on Instagram.

    “Our girls are lucky to have you Chrispy!! My world right there.”

    Read more: Amanda Holden pays Instagram tribute to stillborn son who ‘would’ve been a teenager today’

    Amanda and Alan’s Italian Job airs tonight from 8.30pm on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.

    So what do you think of this story? You can leave us a comment on our Facebook page @EntertainmentDailyFix and then let us know.

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    Fabio Magnocavallo

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  • Divorce and life insurance: How to make sure your family stays protected – MoneySense

    Divorce and life insurance: How to make sure your family stays protected – MoneySense

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    When it comes to life insurance, specifically, reviewing and potentially updating policy and beneficiary information should be the first step post-divorce. Most people who are married name their spouse as their primary beneficiary. Whether or not the divorce is contentious, they will likely want to update this to a new beneficiary. However, depending on the divorce agreement, there may be circumstances where the former spouse remains a beneficiary, as a way to provide financial support on the expenses they agreed to contribute towards.

    Canadians can also name their children or other dependents as the primary beneficiary or beneficiaries. If the beneficiary is a minor, you will need to appoint a trustee, who would manage the funds of the trust until the child is old enough to do so.

    You might also need to make further adjustments to the policy. It’s helpful to consult the professionals who are supporting you through your divorce, whether that’s your licensed life insurance advisor, estate planning specialist, accountant or lawyer. Some things to consider include:

    1. Who will pay for the policy going forward?

    To ensure your family’s insurance coverage stays intact, set clear expectations on who will pay for the policy. It’s worth noting that the owner of the life insurance policy does not need to be the same individual as the payor.

    2. Is your insurance coverage sufficient?

    After reviewing your financial obligations and identifying expenses that your former spouse is covering (partially or completely), does your life insurance policy provide enough coverage for your family? You may need to discuss purchasing additional temporary coverage if your debt load has increased. This applies to your critical illness and disability insurance policies, as well.

    3. Is there cash value in the policy?

    Some permanent policies accumulate cash value over time. The owner of the life insurance policy may decide to leverage the policy’s cash value as a loan for emergency cash-flow purposes or to fund a planned expense. The caveat is that the death benefit of the policy is generally reduced by that policy loan until the money is paid back. Whole life insurance policies typically have consistent premiums and generally guaranteed cash value accumulation, while universal life insurance offers flexible premiums and death benefits but with fewer guarantees. Universal life policies allocate a portion of your premiums towards the life insurance itself, while the remainder is divided between savings and investment components, which must be regularly monitored to ensure they are performing. Depending on the policy and its duration, the cash value of a life insurance policy may need to be considered as an asset in the divorce agreement.

    In addition, reviewing your policy is important to keep track of payment cycles or any other conditions that may prevent your policy from coming into effect when needed.

    Get personalized quotes from Canada’s top life insurance providers.All for free with ratehub.ca. Let’s get started.*This will open a new tab. Just close the tab to return to MoneySense.

    Step 3: Turn your focus to your future

    Once you’ve sorted out your financial obligations and reviewed your insurance policies, it’s time to look forward. Here are a few steps that can help protect your future as well as the future of your beneficiaries in the case of a divorce:

    • A policy that insures your ex-spouse can be kept in force voluntarily, or you can get new policies to help provide financial protection for your dependents. This is especially important if you’re counting on your ex-spouse’s support payments for living expenses.
    • Recent divorcé(e)s may also want to consider disability and critical illness insurance. Life takes lots of unexpected turns, and these types of insurance can help ease your mind so you can focus on your family and/or recovery.
    • If a court orders it or if it’s integrated into your divorce agreement, a policy can be required to remain in effect as part of a divorce settlement or as part of a spousal or child support agreement.
    • A new policy may be issued to replace an existing policy because it better meets the needs of both parties.
    • Secure your own separate life insurance policy to ensure your children or other dependents are financially protected, especially if your ex-spouse’s financial situation isn’t stable. Life insurance coverage generally lapses when payments are missed.

    Don’t be afraid to ask for help

    You don’t have to do all of this alone. If you need help to organize your finances, divide up assets (including intangible ones like a life insurance policy) or explore new options, don’t hesitate to consult a professional. They can provide guidance and ensure you have proper protection for your family.

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    Michael Aziz, CFA, CFP

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  • Biden meets with friendly autoworkers in Michigan, but avoids angry Gaza protesters

    Biden meets with friendly autoworkers in Michigan, but avoids angry Gaza protesters

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    WARREN, Michigan — President Joe Biden chatted with a friendly union crowd inside a United Auto Workers hall in Michigan on Thursday as pro-Palestinian demonstrators held back by police with riot shields voiced their anger nearby at the president’s full-throated support for Israel in its war with Hamas.

    The tension highlighted the challenges ahead for Biden in holding on to this critical battleground state in November over likely rival Donald Trump, and underscored the Democrats’ concerns about flagging enthusiasm among voters who have been key to their coalition.

    Biden’s visit with autoworkers making phone bank calls for him ahead of the state’s Democratic primary came just days after union President Shawn Fain announced their endorsement of him. Fain praised Biden’s ties to the working class, saying, “We know who’s been there for labor and who wasn’t,” adding that the union’s mission now is to “keep Joe Biden as our president.”

    Biden, who joined striking workers on the picket line last year, replied, “Supporting you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

    However, Biden’s Michigan schedule did not include any meetings with Arab Americans, adding to increasing frustration over his support of Israel in its war with Hamas as the Palestinian death toll has mounted.

    “Why not have a meaningful conversation for how you change course with a community that has first-hand accounts of what it’s like to live in the countries where your decision-making is unfolding?” said Abdullah Hammoud, the mayor of Dearborn, one of the largest Arab American communities in the nation.

    Despite the White House offering no advance details about Biden’s planned meeting, close to 200 pro-Palestinian demonstrators were waiting for Biden near the UAW Region 1 building in Warren ahead of his event there. The president’s motorcade bypassed them using side streets.

    Protesters chanted “Hey Biden, what do you say? We won’t vote on Election Day” as well as pro-Palestinian slogans, including “Free, free Palestine.”

    Amir Naddaf, 34, traveled with friends from Ann Arbor to protest the president’s UAW event after having supported Biden in the 2020 election

    “We came here to send a clear message to the administration that they’re not welcome in Michigan,” said Naddaf.

    Dozens of riot gear-clad police officers and an armored vehicle kept the protesters from approaching the union hall.

    More than 26,000 Palestinians, mostly women and minors, have been killed in Gaza since Hamas attacked Israel on Oct. 7, according to the Health Ministry in the Hamas-ruled territory. Hamas killed more than 1,200 people and kidnapped about 250 more, mostly civilians, in the attack.

    Michigan has shifted increasingly Democratic in recent years, with the party controlling all levels of state government for the first time in four decades. Biden is looking to build on that power as he seeks reelection and the state’s critical 15 electoral votes.

    The president faces no serious challenge in the primary, but his campaign is trying to build energy for the tougher fight to come in the fall. Michigan was part of the so-called blue wall of three states — with Wisconsin and Pennsylvania — that Biden returned to the Democratic column when he won the White House in 2020.

    He kicked off his visit to Michigan by meeting with Black religious leaders at They Say restaurant in Harper Woods, outside of Detroit, before thanking autoworkers for their support.

    Warren, where Biden met with union workers, is in Macomb County, an area that Democrats lost by a wide margin to Trump in the past two national elections. Biden’s outreach to workers there came amid concerns within the party over rising tension between Biden and Arab Americans in the state, many of them in Detroit’s Wayne County, which is the Democratic Party’s largest base.

    White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre told reporters on Air Force One with Biden that senior administration officials will travel to Michigan later in February to hear from community leaders on the conflict in Israel and Gaza. She did not specify which officials or with whom they would meet.

    The early endorsement by the UAW was a clear win for Biden, who came to Michigan to stand alongside striking autoworkers last year. His latest meeting with union members comes on the heels of Trump’s visit with another one of the U.S. most influential unions, the Teamsters, in Washington on Wednesday.

    Rep. Debbie Dingell, D-Mich., a longtime Biden ally, said Democrats need to tend to a multitude of constituencies in Michigan to hold on to the state in 2024.

    “Michigan is a purple state. I say that to everybody,” she said. “Clearly, the Arab American community matters. But young people have to turn out. They were very decisive two years ago in voter turnout. A lot of the union leadership has endorsed the president, but we’ve got to get into the union halls and do the contrast so people really understand what it’s about. And we’ve got to make sure women and independents turn out. You know, we’re a competitive state.”

    Biden’s campaign manager, Julie Chavez Rodriguez, led a group of campaign advisers to the Dearborn area last week as part of her ongoing effort to meet with core supporter groups around the country. She spoke with some community leaders, but the trip ended abruptly when Arab American leaders declined to show up for a meeting with her.

    Ahead of Biden’s visit, demonstrators held a community rally in Dearborn on Wednesday night to protest administration policies backing Israel.

    “The people in the Middle Eastern community are not confused. They are crystal clear on how Palestine has been handled versus Israel,” said former Democratic state Rep. Sherry Gay-Dagnogo, who is from Detroit. “Just to come and visit them without changing your positions is not going to move them. African Americans are not confused either. And so you can’t just do visits. A visit is not enough.”

    Biden and his aides have said they do not want to see any civilians die in Hamas-ruled Gaza, and the U.S. is working to negotiate another cease-fire to allow critical aid to reach the territory.

    During an October visit to Tel Aviv, Biden warned the Israelis not to be “consumed by rage.” But the president and his aides have also said he believes Israel has the right to defend itself and he has asked Congress for billions to help Israel in its war effort.

    On Thursday during a National Prayer Breakfast in Washington ahead of his trip, Biden spoke of the threat of Islamophobia and anti-Semitism.

    “Not only do we pray for peace, we are actively working for peace, security, dignity for the Israeli people and the Palestinian people,” he said.

    A December AP-NORC poll found that 59% percent of Democrats approve of Biden’s approach to the conflict, up from 50% in November. But Democratic voters in New Hampshire’s primary were roughly split on how Biden has handled the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict, according to AP VoteCast.

    ___ AP writer Zeke Miller in Washington contributed to this report.

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  • Past Relationships Worksheet (PDF)

    Past Relationships Worksheet (PDF)

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    Learn from past love to improve future love. This worksheet will guide you step-by-step so that you can take away the most important lessons from your past relationships.


    Download:

    Past Relationships Worksheet (PDF)

    Read Why It’s Healthy to Reflect on Your Past Relationships for more information.

    Check out more self-improvement worksheets here!

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    Steven Handel

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  • We see your Taylor Swift and raise you Olivia Culpo (20 GIFs)

    We see your Taylor Swift and raise you Olivia Culpo (20 GIFs)

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    49ers’ running back, Christian McCaffrey is a lucky man. And it’s not just because he’s headed to the Super Bowl. With all the talk about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce leading up to Super Bowl LVIII, we’d be remiss if we didn’t bring up the other celeb couple heading out to Las Vegas.

    You might know her as Miss America 2012, SI swimsuit model, or the future Mrs. McCaffrey, but her given name is Olivia Culpo and she’s a stone cold fox. The actress/model has been engaged to McCaffrey since April of last year. So let’s take a second to appreciate what Olivia is bringing to NFL stadiums every week.

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    Zach Nading

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  • Jay Leno files for conservatorship for wife Mavis who has dementia

    Jay Leno files for conservatorship for wife Mavis who has dementia

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    Comedian Jay Leno is seeking to become conservator over his wife Mavis Leno’s affairs because she has dementia.

    Leno filed court documents Friday to ask a family court judge to grant the conservatorship so he can structure a living trust and other estate plans to make sure that his 77-year-old wife has “managed assets sufficient to provide for her care” should he die before her, according to a copy of the petition filed in Los Angeles Superior Court.

    “Unfortunately, Mavis has been progressively losing capacity and orientation to space and time for several years,” the petition said. “Jay is fully capable of continuing support for Mavis’s physical and financial needs, as he has throughout their marriage.”

    The filing said that her “current condition renders her incapable of executing the estate plan.” The court documents said she was being treated for “dementia and mood disorder.”

    The couple has been married 43 years.

    Leno, through a spokesperson, declined to comment on Saturday.

    Jay Leno on the set of the game show “You Bet Your Life” in Pacoima in 2021.

    (Christina House / Los Angeles Times)

    It was unclear when Mavis Leno was first diagnosed with the disease, but a doctor’s report from November, filed as part of the court proceedings, said she suffered with impairments to her memory, ability to concentrate and use of reason.

    The documents said a conservatorship was needed to allow Jay Leno to execute estate plans, “which will provide for Mavis and Mavis’s brother [who is] her sole living heir aside from Jay.” Leno, who is 73, and Mavis Leno do not have children. They live in Beverly Hills.

    “Jay Leno has always handled the couple’s finances through the term of their 43-year marriage, and will continue to do so until his passing,” the petition said.

    TMZ first reported the conservatorship petition.

    When he was the popular host of “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno,” which ran on NBC for about 20 years, Jay Leno would frequently and lovingly mention Mavis.

    Throughout their marriage, Mavis Leno independently pursued her own progressive causes, including fighting a proposed California ballot proposition against affirmative action in the mid-1990s.

    She was a board member of the Feminist Majority Foundation and chairwoman of its Campaign for Afghan Women and Girls to ensure that “the women and girls of Afghanistan are not forgotten,” according to the group’s website. The foundation’s campaign for Afghan women was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 2002.

    Shortly after the Taliban came to power in Afghanistan, Mavis and Jay Leno donated $100,000 as seed money for the Feminist Majority Foundation’s global women’s rights program.

    Jay Leno

    Jay Leno at NBCUniversal’s Summer TCA Tour in Beverly Hills in 2015.

    (Richard Shotwell / Invision / Associated Press)

    “She is someone with a strong sense of purpose, compassion and curiosity,” author Sue Smalley wrote about a decade ago in the Los Angeles Times after interviewing Mavis Leno and her famous husband. “She arrives first, on time [and] doesn’t need hair or makeup.”

    The couple met at L.A.’s famed Comedy Store in 1976.

    “I always had this idea that I would never get married,” she told People magazine in a 1987 interview. “But with Jay, I began to realize that this was the first time I was ever with someone where I had a perfect, calm sense of having arrived at my destination.”

    Separately, she described meeting Leno in an interview with The Times.

    “It was in January. … I thought, ‘Holy s–t! That comedian is gorgeous!” Mavis Leno recalled in a 2014 interview, saying friends had encouraged her to “ ‘hang out at the Comedy Store and the Improv — you’ll meet people who can give you jobs.’ ”

    “The first time I went, they sat us front row center. That means you’re this far from the comic. And there was Jay,” she said.

    Later that evening, she went to the bathroom, which was near an area where the comedians hung out between their sets.

    “When I came out of the bathroom, he said, ‘Are you that girl in front?’ ” Mavis Leno recalled. “I said, ‘Yes, that was me.’ ”

    Staff writer Stacy Perman contributed to this report.

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    Meg James

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  • Married with money: How to combine finances with your partner – MoneySense

    Married with money: How to combine finances with your partner – MoneySense

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    Whether you’re planning to cohabitate or you’re already living together and are starting to plan financial goals, here are some tips on bringing your money together.

    Talk about money with your partner early

    Whether you’re married or not, it’s important to understand your partner’s financial situation, goals and values. Feelings about money formed during childhood often influence us as adults—for instance, fear of not having enough, discomfort with debt, or family taboos around talking about money. Even without these money hang-ups, everyday spending and saving can be stressful when you’re combining finances with another person.

    If you and your partner are moving in together, discuss how you’ll split household costs. Will regular expenses like rent or mortgage payments, utilities, home insurance, groceries and internet be shared equally or in proportion to your respective income levels? If either of you has children, will you share daycare and other child-rearing costs?

    Once you’ve covered everyday expenses and how to track them, consider how you’ll deal with the unexpected. Will you both contribute to an emergency fund? What about big-ticket surprises like a broken appliance or leaky roof? How will you handle it if one person wants the cheapest solution while the other prefers paying more for quality or prestige?

    Then discuss how much to budget for discretionary items like restaurant meals, vacations, recreation and entertainment. Is everything shared, or does each partner get to spend their own “fun money” after financial obligations are covered?

    Every couple is different, but for these and other money matters, clear, open and honest communication is vital to avoid conflicts and resentment down the road. Don’t wait until you face major events like buying a home or dealing with one partner’s sudden unemployment to start discussing your finances openly.

    Sharing your life—and your debt

    Legally, each person remains responsible for their own bank accounts, loans and credit card debt. But if you’re planning a life together, reducing your combined debt creates a stronger financial foundation. Helping your partner pay their debt will also improve their credit score, which may benefit you both in the future, when you need to finance major purchases like a home. Talk about how you’ll manage debt together. Will you help each other pay off existing obligations like credit card balances or student loans?

    If you choose to keep debts separate, be aware that if your partner is behind on loan payments, the lender may seek permission to make a claim on jointly held assets—including your home.

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    Stephanie Griffiths

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  • Opinion: Is Steve Garvey, or his California campaign, for real?

    Opinion: Is Steve Garvey, or his California campaign, for real?

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    Many years ago, I interviewed Steve Garvey’s ex-wife, Cyndy, whose memoir had just been published. She’d spent years as a lonely, resentful baseball wife wrongly blamed by fans for the breakup of her marriage to a man whose squeaky clean image belied his philandering and emotional bankruptcy. Shortly before I sat down with her, news had broken that Steve Garvey had fathered two children with two women, while engaged to a third.

    Yep, turns out he was a player in every sense of the word.

    Opinion Columnist

    Robin Abcarian

    There were times after the divorce, Cyndy told me, that she’d even contemplated suicide. But the thought of Steve Garvey raising their two girls stopped her cold.

    “If I had died,” she said, “my kids would have been left with a right-wing, pro-life, born-again Christian media prostitute for a father.”

    Well then. Even all these years later, what a tidy little description of the man who stood on stage at USC’s Bovard Auditorium on Monday evening, uttering platitudes and nonsense during a very serious debate among candidates for the California U.S. Senate seat that, until her death, was held by Dianne Feinstein.

    He faced a trio of accomplished Democratic representatives — Adam B. Schiff of Burbank, who led the first impeachment against then-President Trump; Barbara Lee of Oakland, who was the only member of Congress to vote against authorizing the war in Afghanistan three days after 9/11; and Katie Porter of Irvine, a protege of consumer champion Sen. Elizabeth Warren. As they discussed their solid legislative records, their fears about a second Trump presidency, their ideas for solving the housing crisis in California, their support for universal healthcare and a humane approach to immigration, Garvey, a Republican who voted twice for Trump, nattered on like a Little League first base coach.

    “Let’s get back to the economy,” he said. “Let’s get back to the foundations, a free-market economy. … Let’s stop that rising inflation; let’s get to the point where we cut this excessive spending in Washington.”

    What’s so damning about Garvey’s bromides is that the man has been talking about running for the Senate for decades. Literally decades. He had a stellar 14-year run with the Dodgers, then retired in 1987 after five years with the San Diego Padres when he was only 38. He is now 75 years old. That means he’s had 37 years — half his life — to bone up on the issues.

    Honestly, I could not help but imagine that the late “Saturday Night Live” comedian Phil Hartman had wandered into the room and was posing as a blowhard politician with a Jesus complex and good hair.

    “When was the last time any of you went to the inner city, actually walked up to the homeless as I have these last three weeks?” Garvey asked the Democrats. “I needed to talk to the people. I needed to talk to the homeless, went up to them and touched them and listened to them. And you know what? They said, ‘You’re the first time anybody’s come up and asked us about our life.’ ”

    Lee, who is African American and once became homeless with her kids after escaping an abusive marriage, practically sputtered: “I cannot believe how he described his walk and touching and being there with the homeless,” she said as the audience chuckled heartily at Garvey’s nerve. “Come on, there. Please, please.”

    Schiff was politely acerbic: “This will be my one and only baseball analogy for the evening. Mr. Garvey, I am sorry, that was a swing and a miss, that was a total whiff.”

    It’s a mark of the desperation that California Republicans, who have faded into powerlessness, would consider a candidate so ill-suited to the job of United States senator. And it is downright pathetic that Garvey may sail to the runoff on the strength of his name and baseball career.

    “Policy for me is a position,” said Garvey at one point. “I’ve taken strong positions.”

    Please help me understand how the man is different from an artificial intelligence bot programmed to utter the most anodyne phrases he thinks voters want to hear: “I’m common sense. I’m compassionate. I’m consensus building.”

    I think California can do better than to replace the legendary Sen. Feinstein with an algorithm masquerading as a public servant.

    @robinkabcarian

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    Robin Abcarian

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  • Shannen Doherty Admits 90210 Firing Was All HER Fault! – Perez Hilton

    Shannen Doherty Admits 90210 Firing Was All HER Fault! – Perez Hilton

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    Shannen Doherty has been dropping truth bombs on her podcast. Which we obviously love.

    But telling hard truths sometimes means looking at your own mistakes with a really honest lens. And we’re glad to say she’s doing that, too! After she and Holly Marie Combs claimed co-star Alyssa Milano was fully to blame for Shannen’s ousting from Charmed, this time, she’s taking full ownership for her firing from Beverly Hills 90210!

    TV brother Jason Priestley stopped by the Let’s Be Clear podcast this time, and they eventually got to the touchy subject of Shannen’s firing from their hit TV show. And Shannen, now 52, admits it was on her. She began:

    Yeah, at the time she had been in the industry a long time — but she was also only in her mid 20s and in some ways just didn’t know how to handle these really difficult subjects.

    Related: Jason Dishes Dirt On Young Brad Pitt

    Jason actually told her he felt guilty about not being more compassionate at the time, but Shannen quickly stopped him and said her behavior was no one’s fault but her own:

    It’s so brave of her to talk really candidly about all of this. Hear the whole conversation for yourself (below):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tklZnmXMrLc

    [Image via The Kelly Clarkson Show/Beverly Hills 90210/YouTube.]

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    Perez Hilton

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