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Tag: marriage

  • Can a Sexless Marriage Be Saved?

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    “It feels like we’re just roommates.” As a sex therapist, that is one of the most common concerns I hear from couples. They’ll explain that their relationship started out with chemistry and sparks and a strong physical connection during the “honeymoon phase,” but then gradually, the fire faded and now they feel a million miles apart. They can’t remember the last time they kissed for longer than a quick peck or spent meaningful time enjoying each other’s bodies. Both partners not only feel lonely, but in a society with significant sexual expectations, they also feel embarrassed and ashamed to seek help.

    A sexless marriage is clinically defined as having sex fewer than 10 times per year, or less than once a month. While this definition captures the number of sexual experiences, it doesn’t capture the emotional pain this can cause a couple. Sexual intimacy can put a lot of money in the Emotional Bank Account, and without those deposits, couples can feel empty and alone.

    Side note: A sexless marriage is only a problem if it causes distress to one or both partners. If there is no distress, then there is no problem. About 20% of long-term couples (Laumann et al., 1992) are in a sexless marriage, so please know that you are not alone.

    A Sexless Marriage Isn’t a Foregone Conclusion

    A sexless marriage is an issue that can be a challenge to address, but it is rarely a final verdict. Typically, a lack of sex is a symptom of many other issues beyond the actual sexual experience. Poor overall communication, a lack of sexual communication, and an absence of emotional connection are the more common underlying causes of a sexless marriage that I see in my office. Other causes include sexual dysfunction, such as pain with sex, low sexual desire and sexual arousal, and erectile difficulties. Still, other causes can include sex not being enjoyable for one partner due to a sexual skill deficit, chronic health conditions, or an erotic template discrepancy (meaning, what you find sexually arousing is something other than what your partner can provide).

    A sexless marriage usually happens gradually over time through what’s called an Avoidant Dynamic, and this dynamic has a very damaging ripple effect. The avoidant dynamic starts like this: one partner, let’s call him Javier, initiates and the other, Sofia, says “no” because she is tired, stressed, there was a recent argument, she doesn’t feel an emotional connection, or she is resentful (fill in the blank). Javier initiates again, and another “no” from Sofia. This continues until Javier decides he doesn’t want to initiate anymore because it hurts too much to be rejected.

    Instead, Javier tells Sofia, “You initiate when you’re ready”. On one hand, this is a kind gesture; Javier doesn’t want to pressure Sofia. However, on the other hand, this is what Gottman classically describes as Turning Away. Javier isn’t turning toward Sofia to start a dialogue; he is turning away from her and leaving her to deal with the issue herself.

    The Avoidant Dynamic 

    After turning away again and again, over time, a ripple effect starts. First ripple: Javier and Sofia stop having sex. Then, as this dynamic goes on longer, non-sexual physical affection starts to decline, which leads to the second ripple: touching stops. Neither Javier nor Sofia is touching the other (a hug, a kiss, cuddling at night) for fear that the touch will either lead to sex (Sofia’s fear) or lead to rejection (Javier’s fear). As this dynamic goes on longer (i.e., no sex, no touching), the emotional connection starts to decline, which leads to the third ripple: “We just feel like roommates”. This is when Javier and Sofia describe little to no emotional connection. They have repeatedly turned away from each other, and that decision has gradually led to a very damaging ripple effect.

    Can you reverse this Avoidant Dynamic? 

    Yes, you can reverse this Avoidant Dynamic. The antidote is to change this Avoidant Dynamic (turning away from each other) to a Teammate Dynamic, which involves turning toward each other. The Teammate Dynamic looks like this: Javier initiates and Sofia says “no” because she is tired, stressed, there was a recent argument, she doesn’t feel an emotional connection, or she is resentful (fill in the blank).

    Sound familiar? Yes, the Teammate Dynamic starts like the Avoidant Dynamic, but then Javier and Sofia very quickly turn toward each other. Javier says, “I really want to connect. Is there some way we can connect that would feel good to you?” And Sofia says, “I really appreciate you putting out a bid for connection, and I also want to connect. Can we just snuggle? I think that’s all I have the energy for”. Essentially, they turn toward each other as teammates and start a dialogue on how they can connect in a way that works for both of them. This is the Teammate Dynamic, and this is the antidote to the Avoidant Dynamic.

    This all sounds lovely in a perfect world, but you might be wondering how to put this into action. Start with the current ripple that you’re in (lack of emotional connection) and then move backward to how it all started (no sex).

    Step One: Put money in the Emotional Bank Account

    First, prioritize Small Things Often to put money in the Emotional Bank Account of your relationship. Take a look at Gottman’s Magic 6 Hours, which are the six hours a week to a better relationship, and see if you can add any of those hours on a weekly basis. This includes Stress-Reducing Conversations, a 6-Second Kiss, and non-negotiable date nights. The goal of this first step is to put money back in the Emotional Bank Account and build emotional connection, so you no longer feel like “just roommates”.

    Step Two: Prioritize non-sexual physical affection

    Second, start to prioritize non-sexual physical affection. Because you have been avoiding non-sexual physical affection for fear it will lead to sex or rejection, you’ll likely need to have a sex embargo in place.

    The Sex Embargo

    What this means is that you both need to explicitly agree that sex is off the table for now. Some couples might be thinking, “Why is this necessary? We aren’t even having sex”. Many couples find this explicit agreement helpful because it clearly states, without any uncertainty, that sex is off the table. Without this agreement, there’s always the “what if?” For example, “What if we start to snuggle and he initiates sex?” Once you have agreed on the sex embargo, start to bring back the types of non-sexual physical affection that felt good to you both (kissing, cuddling, snuggling, massage, hugs, a pat on the butt). You’ll both likely feel relieved that touch can just be touch and isn’t tied to sex.

    Step Three: Reintroduce sexual connection

    Finally, once you are feeling more emotionally connected (step one) and more non-sexually physically connected (step two), begin to talk about reintroducing your sexual connection (step three). For many couples, this can be an awkward proposition because it’s been so long since they’ve had sex. Couples will often say, “I don’t even know how to get started?”

    This is where Sensate Focus exercises are incredibly helpful. Sensate Focus exercises are full body touching exercises with very clear guidelines that help you and your partner start touching again without the pressure of sex. These exercises are a great way to kick-start this part of your physical connection without the pressure and awkwardness of attempting to jump back into sex.

    Some couples can guide themselves through Sensate Focus without the help of a therapist, but others may need a therapist to assist them in removing the blocks and negative patterns that are getting in the way of reconnection. 

    Overall, a sexless marriage is not a foregone conclusion. It was likely created gradually over time by an Avoidant Dynamic and has led both partners to a very lonely place. The antidote is to cultivate a Teammate Dynamic by first turning toward each other emotionally (with Small Things Often and the Magic 6 Hours), then with non-sexual physical affection (which may require a sex embargo), and then eventually with sexual connection (using Sensate Focus).

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    Jordan Rullo

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  • Why Don’t I Feel Close to My Husband Anymore?

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    You still love him, but you don’t feel close to him. Perhaps your lives are busy with kids, activities and work. You might feel like you’ve lost the connection you initially had.  You’ve reached a point in your relationship where you realize that you no longer know his thoughts and feelings, and you are quite sure he doesn’t know yours. Recognizing this is an important breakthrough that can mark a significant turning point in your relationship, providing an opportunity for new patterns and greater emotional intimacy.

    You Still Love Each Other But….

    If someone were to ask if you loved your husband, you would say yes without hesitation. At the same time you may be experiencing the following:

    • Loneliness
    • Frustration
    • Disappointment
    • Sadness
    • Fear
    • Anger

    You might feel all of these things or some combination of them at various times and be unsure about what to do. Even when your husband is at home with you, you are lonely.. You try to act normal but inside you are in turmoil and can’t stop thinking about the state of your relationship. You might find yourself distracted and unable to engage fully in the present moment.. When the person you have committed your life to no longer  feels like your best friend, you wonder what will happen.  

    How Emotional Disconnection Begins

    It is usually a slow drift that happens over time without one defining moment. It can start with missed bids for attention, missed attempts to be affectionate. Maybe your husband tries to talk to you after a stressful day at work, but you are busy helping your son with homework and dismiss him. Or you ask him if he wants to go for a morning walk, but he says he wants to watch the game. These moments are missed bids for attention and affection, and over time they can pile up. What happens is that partners stop making bids, and the disconnection has begun.

    Signs You’re Growing Apart

    • Conversations feel surface-level or transactional

    You still talk but it’s about who’s picking up the kids, cooking dinner, logistics. It’s not exactly awkward but more like living with a roommate than a partner. Your interactions become transactional, focused on all of the things around you but not your relationship or even one another. When you try to talk to him, your ‘How was your day? ‘is met with ‘Fine’.

    • You feel unseen, unheard, or emotionally alone

    This is one of the most common and painful signs that the bond of emotional connection has weakened. Partners often describe a sense of living parallel lives rather than sharing a connected one. Partners begin to feel invisible to each other, and the relationship starts to lose its sense of warmth and safety.

    • Conflict increases — or you avoid it altogether

    Neither of you are getting your emotional needs met, so you may be more critical and perceive questions as attacks and become defensive. You might pick fights over the little things- maybe because you want to express your frustration, anger, and hurt but don’t know how to. Or maybe you avoid conflict altogether resigned to the idea that it’s not worth it.

    • Physical affection and intimacy decrease 

    There has probably been a subtle decrease in physical affection over time that you may have not even noticed. When before you may have cuddled on the couch watching a show together, you now sit separately on your own devices. The playful kiss or pat on the butt are no longer. There is little physical intimacy between you and your husband. Maybe he tries to initiate sex, and you pull away because you feel lonely and disconnected, but you don’t talk about it. He gets upset and pulls away, and you feel more alone. He initiates sex less often, and you also don’t initiate because of the distance you feel. 

    What Does It Mean

    It is easy to catastrophize when this dynamic is at play. Here are some things you may be thinking:

    • Something’s wrong with me
    • He’s not attracted to me anymore
    • He doesn’t love me anymore
    • Our relationship is over

    What It Actually Means

    There is a lack of emotional connection. Emotional connection is the experience of closeness created and maintained through loving interaction. Even when love is present, two people can drift apart without emotional connection. Emotional connection is maintained through positive, everyday exchanges. 

    When you don’t have these exchanges, you are more likely to see the negative in the relationship and in your partner. You may become critical of your partner and get defensive when they raise any issues. Trust and commitment start to break down. Negative dynamics start becoming the norm, and because you have lost some trust, it is harder to be open and vulnerable. 

    Why Disconnection Happens in Long Term Relationships

    This chain of events  highlights how damaging a lack of emotional connection can be to your relationship. Because when you feel upset, alone, unhappy, you will turn towards other people in your life to connect with. You might start complaining to your friends about your husband. You might look to social media for ‘people who understand.’ The problem with both of these actions is that you are further undermining your relationship. You want to feel understood and heard, so you find someone else who can fulfill that.

    Here are some causes of disconnection:

    • Stress
    • Not prioritizing the relationship/shift in priorities
    • Focus on the kids and parenting
    • Outside pressures – work, financial, etc
    • Conflict avoidance
    • Fear of vulnerability

    Negativity Bias

    You start noticing his annoying habits that never bothered you before. He never seems to help with household chores, and you start feeling resentment. Our brains are wired to notice the negative in the environment. It is a primal response to ‘keep us safe from threats.’ So perhaps your husband comments about not liking the dinner you cooked even though every other night he has complimented your cooking. What do you dwell on? The one negative comment.

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    Kendra Han

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  • Michelle Obama’s Girls Opportunity Alliance rallying $2.5M for grassroots education

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    NEW YORK — Former first lady Michelle Obama is putting new force behind efforts to ensure girls overcome educational barriers in some of the world’s most economically disadvantaged areas.

    The Obama Foundation’s Girls Opportunity Alliance pledged Saturday to rally $2.5 million for dozens of grassroots groups who advance adolescent girls’ education by covering school-related costs, challenging patriarchal practices such as child marriage, counseling survivors of sexual abuse and providing other forms of support.

    “These groups are changing the way girls see themselves in their own communities and in our world, helping create the leaders we need for the brighter future we all deserve,” Obama said in a video released Oct. 11, the International Day of the Girl. “Because when our girls succeed, we all do.”

    Nearly three-quarters of the 119 million girls out of school worldwide are of secondary school-age, according to the United Nations Children’s Fund. Girls Opportunity Alliance — an outgrowth of an Obama White House initiative that invested $1 billion in U.S. government programs promoting adolescent girls’ education abroad — launched in 2018 with a focus on helping that population between ages 10-19 graduate.

    But the latest announcement comes amid stark warnings from international aid groups that budget cuts will roll back recent progress. UNICEF projects that a 24% drop in wealthy countries’ global education funding will push six million girls out of school by the end of next year.

    “The need right now, I think more than ever, is crucial,” Girls Opportunity Alliance Executive Director Tiffany Drake said. “We were just in Mauritius and we heard it time and time again that organizations need funding. They need support.”

    Girls Opportunity Alliance’s early October convening in Mauritius brought together Asian and African members of its network. The great demands on local leaders doing tireless work with little resources made it, in Drake’s view, perhaps the most moving gathering they’ve hosted.

    But Jackie Bomboma, the founder of Young Strong Mothers Foundation in Tanzania, said connecting with other powerful women there left her encouraged with the knowledge that she’s not alone. A recipient of GOA’s latest grants, she said the Obama Foundation’s endorsement not only brings financial support, but increased trust from the international community and additional channels to get resources.

    Growing up without a mother and having survived teenage pregnancy, Bomboma said Obama’s example has also instilled confidence in her and the girls she serves. Her nonprofit provides psychological services, vocational training, entrepreneurship skills development and sexual health lessons to hundreds of girls at risk of child marriage, teenage pregnancy and school dropout.

    “We call ourselves ‘watoto wa Michelle Obama,’ which means ‘the children of Michelle Obama,’” she said. “So, everyone feels so proud to have such a mother who is very strong, who is very powerful and who is very loving.”

    The Girls Opportunity Alliance fund is intentionally designed to provide a range of support. Drake said anyone can apply for up to $50,000. The grant does not support general operations but instead goes toward a specific project outlined by the recipient.

    Once they’ve joined the network, community leaders have access to monthly training sessions online and in-person gatherings, where they share strategies and learn from larger nongovernmental organizations such as UNICEF and Save the Children.

    Girls Opportunity Alliance funds an undisclosed amount and then uses its wide reach to help organizations raise the rest on GoFundMe pages. The campaigns are promoted publicly on its social media accounts and throughout its donor network of celebrities and corporations.

    The idea, according to Drake, was to use their “megaphone” to heap additional attention on and garner more support for organizations that often struggle to get by in more remote locations. Girls Opportunity Alliance hopes everyday individuals are inspired to join them.

    “We didn’t want to just tell people and say, ‘Google how you can help,’ Drake said. “We wanted to give them a place where they can take action.”

    ___

    Associated Press coverage of philanthropy and nonprofits receives support through the AP’s collaboration with The Conversation US, with funding from Lilly Endowment Inc. The AP is solely responsible for this content. For all of AP’s philanthropy coverage, visit https://apnews.com/hub/philanthropy.

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  • Michelle Obama’s Girls Opportunity Alliance Pledges $2.5 Million for Grassroots Education for Girls

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    NEW YORK (AP) — Former first lady Michelle Obama is putting new force behind efforts to ensure girls overcome educational barriers in some of the world’s most economically disadvantaged areas.

    The Obama Foundation’s Girls Opportunity Alliance pledged Saturday to rally $2.5 million for dozens of grassroots groups who advance adolescent girls’ education by covering school-related costs, challenging patriarchal practices such as child marriage, counseling survivors of sexual abuse and providing other forms of support.

    “These groups are changing the way girls see themselves in their own communities and in our world, helping create the leaders we need for the brighter future we all deserve,” Obama said in a video released Oct. 11, the International Day of the Girl. “Because when our girls succeed, we all do.”

    Nearly three-quarters of the 119 million girls out of school worldwide are of secondary school-age, according to the United Nations Children’s Fund. Girls Opportunity Alliance — an outgrowth of an Obama White House initiative that invested $1 billion in U.S. government programs promoting adolescent girls’ education abroad — launched in 2018 with a focus on helping that population between ages 10-19 graduate.

    But the latest announcement comes amid stark warnings from international aid groups that budget cuts will roll back recent progress. UNICEF projects that a 24% drop in wealthy countries’ global education funding will push six million girls out of school by the end of next year.

    “The need right now, I think more than ever, is crucial,” Girls Opportunity Alliance Executive Director Tiffany Drake said. “We were just in Mauritius and we heard it time and time again that organizations need funding. They need support.”

    Girls Opportunity Alliance’s early October convening in Mauritius brought together Asian and African members of its network. The great demands on local leaders doing tireless work with little resources made it, in Drake’s view, perhaps the most moving gathering they’ve hosted.

    But Jackie Bomboma, the founder of Young Strong Mothers Foundation in Tanzania, said connecting with other powerful women there left her encouraged with the knowledge that she’s not alone. A recipient of GOA’s latest grants, she said the Obama Foundation’s endorsement not only brings financial support, but increased trust from the international community and additional channels to get resources.

    Growing up without a mother and having survived teenage pregnancy, Bomboma said Obama’s example has also instilled confidence in her and the girls she serves. Her nonprofit provides psychological services, vocational training, entrepreneurship skills development and sexual health lessons to hundreds of girls at risk of child marriage, teenage pregnancy and school dropout.

    “We call ourselves ‘watoto wa Michelle Obama,’ which means ‘the children of Michelle Obama,’” she said. “So, everyone feels so proud to have such a mother who is very strong, who is very powerful and who is very loving.”

    The Girls Opportunity Alliance fund is intentionally designed to provide a range of support. Drake said anyone can apply for up to $50,000. The grant does not support general operations but instead goes toward a specific project outlined by the recipient.

    Once they’ve joined the network, community leaders have access to monthly training sessions online and in-person gatherings, where they share strategies and learn from larger nongovernmental organizations such as UNICEF and Save the Children.

    Girls Opportunity Alliance funds an undisclosed amount and then uses its wide reach to help organizations raise the rest on GoFundMe pages. The campaigns are promoted publicly on its social media accounts and throughout its donor network of celebrities and corporations.

    The idea, according to Drake, was to use their “megaphone” to heap additional attention on and garner more support for organizations that often struggle to get by in more remote locations. Girls Opportunity Alliance hopes everyday individuals are inspired to join them.

    “We didn’t want to just tell people and say, ‘Google how you can help,’ Drake said. “We wanted to give them a place where they can take action.”

    Associated Press coverage of philanthropy and nonprofits receives support through the AP’s collaboration with The Conversation US, with funding from Lilly Endowment Inc. The AP is solely responsible for this content. For all of AP’s philanthropy coverage, visit https://apnews.com/hub/philanthropy.

    Copyright 2025 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

    Photos You Should See – Oct. 2025

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    Associated Press

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  • Sagittarius Compatibility: How They Match Up With All 12 Signs

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    “Virgo is attracted to Sag’s fiery, bright expansiveness,” she says, noting that Sagittarius will appreciate feeling seen and loved by dependable Virgo. Plus, she notes, both of these signs are one for humor and will enjoy a connection with a lot of banter, back and forth, and laughter. “When you look at the signs of some of the greatest comedians of all time, a lot of them are Virgo and Sagittarius, so you’ve got a couple of clowns here,” Roby Antila adds.

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  • Capricorn Compatibility: How They Match Up With All 12 Signs

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    And considering their ruling planets have completely different priorities, it’s not unlikely that Libra and Capricorn will have different motivations, interests, and even love languages. After all, Libras are fun-loving and pleasure-seeking, prioritizing beauty and harmony with their Venusian influence. Capricorns, on the other hand, take themselves pretty seriously and only prioritize pleasure when all their work is done, which by a Cap’s standards, is never.

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  • How to Communicate Better with Your Partner: Tips to Enhance Your Relationship

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    Learn research-based strategies to enhance your daily interactions, fostering not just clearer conversation, but also a deeper bond. Integrating these small things into your routines can make every conversation with your partner an opportunity to reconnect, rekindle, and rediscover joy in your relationship.

    Brief Overview

    Learning how to communicate better with your partner can transform your relationship, creating a deeper emotional connection. It’s tough to navigate misunderstandings, but by embracing active listening, empathy, and patience, you’re not just exchanging words; you’re building a bridge of trust and love. Engaging in intentional conversations,  with open-ended questions and attention to nonverbal cues, fosters an environment where both partners feel supported and valued. Each step towards better communication is a step towards a more loving, resilient partnership.

    Key Highlights

    • Recognizing common communication issues is essential to rebuilding any lost trust and to get through misunderstandings.
    • Active listening involves understanding feelings and providing emotional support, enhancing relationship communication.
    • Nonverbal cues play a role in conveying emotional support and understanding.
    • Practicing empathy in conversations creates a safe space for expressing needs and enhancing emotional connection.
    • Setting aside dedicated time for talking promotes love, respect, and deeper connection.

    Understanding the Foundations of Communication

    Improving communication with your partner can be challenging, yet it’s essential for a healthy emotional connection. Our research shows that establishing strong  communication involves recognizing common problems and utilizing core skills and strategies to ensure both partners are getting their needs met.

    Recognizing Common Communication Issues

    Issues can arise  from mismatched communication styles, leading to a cycle of misunderstandings and frustration. This in turn can lead to certain types of relationship dynamics. Dr. John Gottman characterizes the different types of couples as:

    1. Validating Couples
      • They listen carefully to each other, show respect, and work toward compromise.
      • Conflicts are calm and constructive, with lots of empathy and understanding.
    2. Volatile Couples
      • They argue passionately and express emotions openly, both positive and negative.
      • Disagreements can be intense, but they balance it with strong affection, humor, and connection.
    3. Conflict-Avoiding Couples
      • They avoid disagreements and emphasize common ground.
      • Harmony and acceptance are prioritized over resolution, and they agree to disagree.
    4. Hostile Couples
      • Characterized by criticism, defensiveness, and contempt during conflicts.
      • They are frequently negative toward each other, with little positive balance.
    5. Hostile-Detached Couples
      • Their conflicts are marked by coldness, emotional distance, and withdrawal.
      • There’s little warmth or engagement, and negativity dominates with minimal repair attempts.

     

    The first three (Validating, Volatile, Conflict-Avoiding) can still be stable and happy if the positive-to-negative ratio of interactions remains high. The last two (Hostile, Hostile-Detached) are typically unstable and at high risk for divorce.

    Addressing communication style differences and the dynamics they create requires  patience and transparency. It is important that both partners feel supported and encouraged to express their perspectives. By understanding these dynamics, you can foster a healthier dialogue within your relationship. Learning how to communicate better with your partner isn’t a solitary effort but a mutual commitment. It’s about moving forward hand in hand, learning, and growing together.

    Building a Compassionate Connection with Your Partner

    Creating a compassionate connection with your partner is about more than just words; it’s about feeling seen, heard, and valued. This journey involves embracing empathy and practicing patience, key components in learning how to communicate better with your partner. 

    Practicing Empathy in Conversations

    Empathy is connecting to another person’s feelings by seeing things from their perspective, staying out of judgment, and letting them know they’re not alone. It’s less about fixing and more about being present and saying, “I’m with you.” The power that empathy has is rooted in this emotional connection. 

    Empathy requires an active effort to understand your partner’s emotions and perspectives. Imagine your partner discussing a difficult day at work; instead of offering immediate solutions, empathizing with their feelings shows that you care deeply about their experience. It’s about connecting emotionally, acknowledging their feelings, and supporting them with compassion. Our research shows that when partners feel empathetically validated, they experience a stronger emotional connection that fortifies their bond. It involves quieting your mind to focus entirely on your partner’s emotional wellbeing. It strengthens the foundation of your relationship, encouraging deeper communication and fostering trust. 

    The Role of Patience and Understanding

    It can be difficult to have patience in the midst of life’s stressors when emotions are running high in a relationship. Yet, patience and understanding play vital roles in learning how to communicate better with your partner. They transform arguments into discussions, creating an environment where both voices feel respected and heard. This means letting go of the need to respond or convince or impose our emotional narratives on our partner. Partners often struggle because they react rather than respond. Reacting can shut down communication, but a patient response can give your partner the time and space to express their thoughts without interruption or prejudice. It’s about learning to coexist with differing perspectives without the need to assert dominance. 

    Strategies for Improving Communication

    Learning how to communicate better with your partner can transform the very fabric of intimacy and understanding within a relationship. It’s not just about talking; it’s about cultivating a space where both individuals feel heard and understood. This section delves into crucial strategies like asking open-ended questions and decoding nonverbal cues. Mastering these skills can lead to a deeper emotional connection, bringing warmth and confidence to your partnership. 

    Foundation of Friendship

    It is important to have a detailed understanding of your partner’s inner world—their hopes, worries, values, daily routines, and life story. This changes over time so it is something that needs to be updated on a regular basis. Dr. Gottman calls these Love Maps, and the importance lies in how they keep partners emotionally connected even as life changes. When you know each other deeply, you’re more likely to notice shifts in mood, anticipate needs, and offer meaningful support. Couples with strong Love Maps have greater resilience, because they feel truly known and understood.

    Rituals of Connection

    These are intentional habits or traditions that create consistent moments of closeness. These can be small, everyday rituals like sharing a morning check-in, or larger traditions such as family dinners or holiday celebrations. Their importance is that they build a sense of reliability and shared meaning. In busy or stressful seasons, these rituals anchor couples in a rhythm of connection, reminding each partner they are prioritized and cherished.

    Stress-Reducing Conversation

    This a conversation where both partners talk about external pressures—like work or family—without trying to “fix” them, but instead listening, validating, and empathizing. Its importance is that it transforms stress from something isolating into something bonding. By providing emotional safety, couples strengthen trust and show they are allies against outside challenges. Over time, this habit protects the relationship from being eroded by life’s unavoidable stressors.

    Asking Open-Ended Questions

    These questions, unlike their yes-or-no counterparts, invite your partner to share more deeply, allowing for a richer emotional exchange. For example, instead of asking, “Did you have a good day?”, you might say, “What made you smile today?” This small shift requires your partner to reflect and share insights, fostering a sense of warmth and intimacy that goes beyond superficial interactions.  Open-ended questions invite your partner to share  thoughts and feelings that might otherwise remain unspoken, leading to a healthier relationship dynamic. 

    The Importance of Active Listening

    Active listening in relationships isn’t just hearing words; it’s understanding feelings and providing the emotional support your partner needs. This skill is foundational for healthy communication and can significantly deepen your connection. In many relationships, we’re often quick to talk but slower to listen. Reacting with understanding rather than rushing to respond can greatly enhance communication. Active listening demands full attention. This involves maintaining eye contact, nodding affirmatively, and occasionally reiterating your partner’s points to show you’re engaged. When partners feel genuinely heard, they’re more likely to reciprocate, creating a cycle of positivity and support. 

    Nonverbal Communication: What You Might Be Missing

    Nonverbal communication plays a vital role in healthy relationships, and when used intentionally can strengthen connection. By becoming more aware of your partner’s body language, tone, and facial expressions, you can better recognize their emotional needs. Turning toward even small nonverbal bids for connection—like a smile, sigh, or touch—helps build trust and intimacy. Maintaining soft tones, open posture, and eye contact can reduce defensiveness, while repair attempts such as humor or a gentle touch can de-escalate conflict. Finally, monitoring your own nonverbal signals—especially avoiding contemptuous gestures like eye-rolling—supports emotional attunement and long-term relationship stability.

    Creating a Supportive Environment for Growth

    Building a truly supportive environment for growth with your partner requires intentional efforts in communication. By learning to set aside dedicated time to talk, you can ensure that communication isn’t purely transactional but also includes times for deeper connection and support. 

    Setting Aside Time to Talk in Your Relationship

    We often find ourselves entangled in the hustle and bustle of daily life, which can make it challenging to truly connect with the person we love. This disconnection can lead to misunderstandings or feelings of neglect. It’s vital, therefore, to consciously set aside time to communicate. This may seem like a small step, but our research shows that maintaining dedicated time to talk can substantially enhance the emotional landscape of a partnership.

    Consistency is key. The habitual nature of these dedicated moments ensures ongoing emotional and relational support, making it easier to address issues as they arise. When both partners know they have a dedicated time for genuine communication, it reduces stress and fosters a thriving environment for growth. This practice isn’t just about talking, it’s about deepening your emotional connection. 

    Learning how to communicate better with your partner is a journey worth embarking on, it can deepen your connection and brighten your shared future. By committing to honest dialogues, active listening, and empathy, you’re stepping towards a more fulfilling relationship. Remember, it’s about progress, not perfection. Every little effort counts and can lead to significant transformations. The conversations you share today lay the foundation for a stronger relationship tomorrow.

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    The Gottman Institute

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  • 10 Communication Exercises for Couples to Have Better Relationships

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    Brief Overview

    Communication is the heartbeat of any relationship, yet is often elusive amidst life’s hustle. By recognizing barriers—like different communication styles and the impact of mental health—couples can begin to transform misunderstandings with empathy. Exercises such as active listening and expressing needs clearly foster deeper connections. Structuring safe spaces for dialogue and exploring interactive techniques further enhance emotional intimacy and understanding, paving the way for healthier communication and a thriving partnership. Use  these exercises to nurture love, one conversation at a time, 

    Key Highlights

    • Communication exercises for couples to enhance connection by focusing on empathy and understanding, crucial for healthy relationships.
    • Recognizing barriers like listening failures and communication style differences helps prevent misunderstandings.
    • Addressing misunderstandings with empathy involves gaining a deeper understanding of your partner and appreciating their perspective.
    • Regular communication practice builds stronger bonds and cultivates empathy, enriching relationship dynamics.
    • Interactive techniques turning toward and active listening build trust and understanding.

    Understanding Communication Issues in Relationships

    Communication issues in relationships are more common than you’d think, often leaving partners feeling disconnected or misunderstood. It’s essential to recognize these barriers and address them with effective communication techniques. Our research shows that understanding the underlying causes of communication breakdowns is the first step toward a healthier, more fulfilling partnership. Let’s explore some common barriers and how to overcome them.

    Communication Barrier

    Impact on Relationship

    Underlying Cause

    Resolution Strategy

    Empathy Role

    Lack of Active Listening

    Misunderstandings and resentment

    Distraction, multitasking,  flooding

    Practice focused listening; use the “speaker-listener” technique

    Shows understanding and care; partners feel heard

    Defensive Responses

    Escalated conflicts, gridlock

    Feeling attacked, insecure, or unvalidated

    Replace with “I” statements and take responsibility

    Validates feelings and reduces escalation

    Assumptions

    Breakdown of trust, misinterpretation

    Past experiences, biases, unspoken expectations

    Clarify and confirm facts; ask open-ended questions

    Encourages open dialogue and builds safety

    Withdrawing

    Emotional disconnection, loneliness

    Overwhelm, avoidance of conflict, shutting down

    Pause, self-soothe, re-engage in calm discussions

    Fosters connection and reassurance

    Criticism

    Reduced self-esteem, emotional distance

    Stress, frustration, unmet needs

    Express your feelings using gentle start-up and state a positive need.

    Enhances mutual respect and nurtures closeness

    Recognizing Common Barriers in Couples

    Each person brings their own communication style to the relationship based on how they grew up and their life experiences. For instance, one partner might prefer to discuss issues head-on, while the other might need time to process before talking. Identifying these differences and adapting accordingly can prevent misunderstandings that often escalate into arguments. It’s important to recognize that it’s not just about talking but understanding how each partner communicates. Often, therapy can help to  illuminate these differences and bridge the communication gap, thus reinforcing a healthy communication foundation in your relationship.

    What Causes Communication Barriers?

    The influence of individual mental health cannot be underestimated either. Issues like anxiety or depression can skew perceptions and communication, leading to barriers that might seem unsolvable. Addressing these challenges often requires patience and empathy. Both partners must work together as listeners, ensuring a supportive environment where mental health is a priority. Keeping lines of communication open and being attuned to each other’s mental health needs can cultivate trust and reduce these barriers over time.

    There is also the role of external influences, whether it’s work stress or the demands of family life. These factors often become inadvertent barriers to communication as partners take out their frustrations unwittingly on each other. This takes us to our first Couples Communication Exercise- the Stress Reducing Conversation. 

    Stress Reducing Conversation

    A very important routine for happy and successful couples is having a daily stress reducing conversation. Dr. John Gottman adapted this concept from research that showed that couples who are able to manage external stress have better outcomes. This is a key protective factor for couples and should be built into your daily routine. Here are some of the key components of a stress reducing conversation:

    • Talk about something external to the relationship (e.g. work, traffic, dealing with the insurance company)
    • Take your partner’s side 
    • Listen to understand not to give advice
    • Communicate a ‘we-ness’ about this issue (you’re on the same team)

    The Importance of Couples Communication Exercises

    We all know that feeling when communication in our relationships just falls flat, and it can be disheartening. However, relationship communication exercises provide a gateway to profound connection and understanding between partners. Research suggests that engaging in regular communication exercises not only boosts relationship satisfaction but also strengthens the emotional bond between couples. By carving out time to consciously practice healthy couples communication, partners create a resilient foundation that can withstand life’s inevitable pressures. 

    • Practice active listening by giving full attention and acknowledging your partner’s feelings without interruption.
    • Reflect back on what you hear to ensure clarity and show understanding of their perspective.
    • Use “I” statements to express your feelings, which helps avoid sounding accusatory.
    • Avoid assumptions by asking open-ended questions to uncover deeper understanding.
    • Be patient and allow time for the other person to articulate their thoughts.
    • Take a time out if either of your become flooded
    • Deepen/Maintain a strong friendship using the Love Maps tool
    • Schedule time to have regular check-ins
    • Stress Reducing Conversation
    • Validate your partner’s emotions regardless of whether you agree or disagree

    Why Regular Practice Strengthens Bonds

    Regular communication exercises also act as a buffer against the pressures of life that can strain even the strongest relationships. When couples routinely engage in practices that enhance their communication skills, they better equip themselves to handle conflicts constructively. It’s a proactive approach to maintaining the health of the relationship.  This doesn’t mean that challenges won’t arise, but when they do, the foundation you’ve built through regular practice ensures you’re better equipped to navigate them together.

    These couples communication exercises serve to normalize healthy dialogues, making them a staple rather than an exception within the relationship. If you are parents, you are setting a great example for your children by integrating these dynamics into your relationship. The benefits extend beyond the couple and family, enhancing communication in other areas of life as well. This ripple effect serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of healthy communication.

    Creating a Safe Space for Open Dialogue

    The essence of a safe space lies in fostering an environment where partners feel seen, heard, and validated without fear of judgment. Healthy couples communication necessitates such spaces, which allow for the honest exchange of thoughts and emotions without the shadow of misinterpretation or defensiveness. Achieving this begins with mutual respect, an unspoken agreement that encourages each partner to express themselves freely while listening empathetically to their counterpart. Small, consistent steps foster openness, turning even the most guarded interactions into profound exchanges.

    Cultivating a safe space also involves recognizing and addressing one’s own communication patterns that may inadvertently hinder open dialogue. Intentional reflection and engagement in communication exercises can identify such patterns, fostering an environment that prioritizes openness and emotional safety. As partners collaborate to dismantle barriers, their interactions evolve, becoming a shared realm where empathy thrives, clarity prevails, and every conversation becomes an opportunity to reinforce the invaluable connection they cherish.

    Developing Effective Communication Skills

    Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful partnership, creating pathways to deeper connection and understanding. As we’ve explored the importance of recognizing barriers and embracing empathy, it’s essential to move towards developing these skills further. Two pivotal aspects in cultivating healthy communication with your partner are having effective listening skills and expressing your needs clearly. These components help create an environment conducive to open dialogue, enhancing both relationship satisfaction and mental health. Let’s delve into these skills, understanding how they can transform your interactions,

    Effective Listening Skills

    Remember, developing effective listening skills takes time and practice. It requires a conscious effort to cultivate, but the impact on your relationship, and your own mental health, is profound. As you embrace active listening, you will notice an improvement in how conflicts are managed and how effortlessly understanding flows between you and your partner, making your connection richer and more resilient. It’s a skill worth investing in, transforming everyday conversations into nourishing interactions that bring you both closer.

    Expressing Needs Clearly and Constructively

    While listening actively is crucial, it’s equally important to communicate your own needs clearly and constructively. In many relationships, unmet expectations often stem from unclear communication rather than intentional disregard. We all know that feeling when hinting doesn’t work, but saying directly how you feel seems daunting. Expressing needs requires courage and clarity, transforming assumptions into understandable messages.

    The journey to effective communication involves breaking the habit of assuming your partner understands your needs without clear expression. Start by using “I” statements, this shifts the focus from blame or accusation, inviting open dialogue instead. For example, instead of saying “You never listen to me,” you could express, “I feel unheard when…” This subtle change reduces defensiveness, fostering an atmosphere where partners feel safe to express themselves without fear of judgment.

    Conveying what you desire in specific, positive language helps your partner consider practical ways to meet those needs. When each person feels understood and valued, communication flourishes, contributing to the overall health and satisfaction of the relationship.

    Communication Exercises for Couples

    Improving communication in relationships often demands more than just talking; it takes effort, patience, and engaging activities that foster connection. These exercises are not just simple practices, but thoughtful tools facilitating better understanding and empathy between partners. When partners consistently work on their communication skills through these methods, they develop powerful tools to nurture their bond. The journey through these communication exercises involves interactive techniques, invaluable in buffering relationships against anxiety and misunderstandings. Let’s delve into the world of interactive techniques designed to enhance emotional connection and psychological insights in couples.

    Technique

    Purpose

    Benefits

    Outcome

    Active Listening

    Give full attention and acknowledge feelings without interrupting

    Creates empathy, reduces miscommunication

    Stronger emotional bond and deeper trust

    Reflective Dialogue

    Reflect back what you hear for clarity and understanding

    Demonstrates validation, minimizes misinterpretation

    Shared perspective and increased emotional intimacy

    Use of “I” Statements

    Express personal feelings without blame or accusation

    Reduces defensiveness, promotes accountability

    More respectful and effective communication

    Open-Ended Questions

    Avoid assumptions by inviting fuller explanations

    Encourages deeper sharing and discovery of hidden concerns

    Greater understanding of each other’s inner world

    Time-Out Strategy

    Pause during emotional flooding to regain composure

    Prevents escalation, allows emotional regulation

    Healthier conflict resolution and improved self-control

    Love Maps (Friendship Foundation)

    Deepen or maintain strong friendship by knowing your partner’s inner world

    Builds closeness, affection, and emotional connection

    A resilient friendship base that supports long-term relationship satisfaction

    Regular Check-Ins

    Schedule consistent times to talk about the relationship and life stressors

    Keeps communication open and proactive

    Stronger alignment, reduced resentment, and ongoing emotional support

    Stress-Reducing Conversation

    Share and listen to external stressors with empathy

    Keeps outside stress from spilling into the relationship

    A “we-against-the-world” mindset, stronger partnership under stress

    Emotion Validation

    Acknowledge your partner’s feelings even if you disagree

    Provides comfort, reduces defensiveness

    A safe environment for emotional expression and stronger intimacy

    Turning Toward

    Respond positively to your partner’s bids for attention or connection

    Builds trust, affection, and emotional responsiveness

    Increased sense of closeness, reduced loneliness, and stronger friendship

    This table of 10 couples communication exercises for a better relationship serves as a roadmap to improving communication in concrete and practical ways.

    Incorporating these exercises into your relationship is a vital step towards deeper understanding and connection.  Remember, it’s normal to face challenges, but with dedication and openness to growth, you can build stronger bonds. Embrace each opportunity to listen, share, and thrive together. Use this guide to illuminate the path toward a relationship characterized by empathy, understanding, and warmth, a path that, ultimately, leads to a more fulfilling relationship and life together.

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    The Gottman Institute

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  • Marriage License Fees Nearly Double in Los Angeles County

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    It’s about to cost more to say “I do” in Los Angeles County. For the first time since 2009, marriage license fees are going up, nearly doubling in price, with new rates set to take effect in 30 days

    Credit: Igor via Adobe Stock

    Love may be free, but in Los Angeles County, the paperwork is about to cost you more than normal. The Board of Supervisors has approved for the first time since 2009 marriage license fees are going up, and the increase is significant.

    The price of a standard license nearly doubled, jumping from $91 to $176. Confidential licenses are climbing as well, from $85 to $172. 

    County Clerk Dean Logan explained that inflation, rising wages, and legal changes over the past 15 years, like processing same-sex marriages, have all pushed up their operating costs. Until now, L.A. has kept its prices among the lowest in the state, so this jump, officials say, is simply catching up to reality.

    It is not just about the license either. Couples that are tying the knot at the Norwalk County Clerk’s office will see the civil ceremony fee rise from $35 to $44, while the witness fee bumps up from $20 to $26. All of these new fees go into effect in 30 days.

    Still, even with this increase, a license is a tiny fraction of what most weddings in L.A. actually cost. Compared to the thousands of dollars couples spend on dresses, venues, and DJs, the country’s new fees just might be the least painful check you’ll write on the road to “I do.”

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    Melissa Houston

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  • Do You and Your Partner Take Turns With Regard To Your Careers? – Corporette.com

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    This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

    A friend was just telling me that she and her husband take turns on seeking raises and new job opportunities (or any big career changes!) — and I thought that was really clever, and something we’ve never discussed here. So let’s discuss: how do you balance your career and your partner’s career? Do you take turns with regard to your careers? What guidelines do you generally follow? Have you always done that, or did you start after children?

    (On the flip side, does anyone want to share stories about how one career has taken the lead in your relationship, whether yours or your partner’s, and how that has looked? I think there are obvious things that people think of — moving (particularly for jobs in academia!), leaning out or leaving to stay home with the kids — but what are the less obvious ways?)

    It hasn’t really been an issue in my marriage (we’ve both been in our current gigs for a long time!) — but as my friend was describing it it sounded great. I loved that it meant that they both encouraged and supported each other through all of that — the anxiety of the job interview, the upheaval of a new job — but what I really thought was smart was that it basically put each one on a schedule to seek new opportunities or promotions on a regular basis. In their family it particularly makes sense because they have two elementary-aged children, but I could also see it being a smart move even for couples without kids, older kids, or empty nesters.

    Over to you, readers — do you and your partner take turns with your careers? Or have you found a better way to share the mental space required for new opportunities?

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    Kat

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  • ‘Hamnet’ wins TIFF’s People’s Choice Award

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    “Hamnet,” Chloé Zhao’s drama about William Shakespeare’s marriage and the death of their 11-year-old son, won the People’s Choice Award at the Toronto International Film Festival on Sunday, putting it on an enviable track to Academy Awards contention.

    Winners of the top honor at TIFF have historically almost always gone on to land a best-picture Oscar nomination. That was the case every year since 2012, until the streak was likely snapped last year when “The Life of Chuck” won the award. Mike Flanagan’s Stephen King adaptation wasn’t released until the following June, and isn’t expected to figure into the Oscar race.

    “Hamnet,” starring Paul Mescal as William Shakespeare and Jessie Buckley as Agnes Shakespeare, has drawn an especially emotional reaction in its screenings at the Telluride Film Festival and at TIFF. The film, adapted from Maggie O’Farrell’s 2020 novel, is about how grief, following the death of their son, Hamnet, may have inspired Shakespeare’s greatest tragedy, “Hamlet.”

    The film, which Focus Features will release in theaters Nov. 27, is likely to return Zhao and her two stars to the Academy Awards. Zhao’s 2020 drama “Nomadland” won best picture and best director for Zhao. It, too, won the People’s Choice Award in Toronto.

    Festival attendees vote for People’s Choice Award. The runners-up were a pair of Netflix releases: Guillermo del Toro’s “Frankenstein” and Rian Johnson’s ”Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery.”

    The audience award for international film went to Park Chan-wook’s “No Other Choice.” In the festival’s Midnight Madness section, the audience prize went to Matt Johnson “Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie.” The prize in the documentary category was awarded to Barry Avrich’s “The Road Between Us: The Ultimate Rescue.”

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  • ‘Who’s going to tell her?’: Woman says her fiancé is a ‘green flag’ after he chose Iceland for his bachelor party. Here’s why viewers aren’t so sure

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    When it comes to dating, we often talk about what we consider to be “red flags” and “green flags” of potential partners.

    A red flag might be a partner who dodges questions or keeps secrets. A green flag might be someone who is good at communication or plans meaningful trips.

    But as one TikToker found out, the internet, and the public at large, doesn’t always agree on which is which.

    Woman’s ‘green flag’ about her husband gets twisted

    TikTok creator Reema Patel (@reemapatel00) posted a lighthearted clip about her husband that has since sparked some heated debate.

    Her video, which has been viewed more than 680,300 times, was supposed to be a sweet anecdote. Instead, it turned into a debate about the promiscuity of Iceland.

    “I knew I was marrying a green flag when he picked Iceland as his bachelor party destination,” Patel said. “Like, OK, go off, king, go watch the Northern Lights with your BFFs.”

    Viewers weren’t convinced

    The reaction in the comments, though, was far from what she expected. For many viewers, Iceland wasn’t the wholesome, romantic destination Patel imagined. It was quite the opposite.

    “Icelandic women are almost literally the most beautiful women in the world,” one person wrote.

    Another shared, “Omg my husband cheated on me in Iceland.”

    Others piled on with jokes like “perfect post for ‘who’s gonna tell her’” and “she must not know about Iceland lmaooo.”

    But not everyone agreed that Iceland spelled trouble.

    “Y’all need to realize that if they’re gonna cheat—they’re gonna cheat. Location doesn’t change a thing,” one user argued.

    “Don’t listen to the comments. Iceland is gorgeous—I’ve been 3 times,” shared another. “Tell him to get up early one day and drive the whole south coast. It’s stunning. They’ll have the best time.”

    Why Iceland might’ve sparked this reaction

    Part of it might come down to Iceland’s cultural reputation. Compared to many countries, Iceland has a more open and casual attitude toward sex and nudity, as reported by the Rooster. 

    One Icelandic blogger also explained that talking about sex is so common there, it hardly raises eyebrows.

    “I do talk about my sex life (or lack of!) and my friends’ sex life on an almost daily basis,” she wrote, recalling how even pointing out a past hookup while hanging out with someone you don’t know well wasn’t seen as unusual. 

    Women buying drinks for men, openly flirting, or being straightforward about sex is also completely normal.

    That cultural openness has fueled stereotypes. In the 1990s and early 2000s, Icelandair ran provocative campaigns with slogans like “Fancy a dirty Weekend in Iceland?” and “One Night Stand in Reykjavík.”

    These ads, paired with media portrayals—including a pickup artist’s guidebook titled Bang Iceland—cemented the idea that Iceland is a hookup hotspot.

    But Icelanders themselves push back on these portrayals. While casual sex isn’t stigmatized, locals point out that doesn’t mean people will sleep with just anyone.

    As the Icelandic blogger noted, “Just because I (and other Icelandic girls) can talk freely about sex does NOT mean that I (or they) will sleep with anyone or everyone.”

    @reemapatel00 Go off king #greenflag ♬ original sound – Reema

    The Mary Sue has reached out to Patel via email for more information. 

    Have a tip we should know? [email protected]

    Image of Ljeonida Mulabazi

    Ljeonida Mulabazi

    Ljeonida is a reporter and writer with a degree in journalism and communications from the University of Tirana in her native Albania. She has a particular interest in all things digital marketing; she considers herself a copywriter, content producer, SEO specialist, and passionate marketer. Ljeonida is based in Tbilisi, Georgia, and her work can also be found at the Daily Dot.

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    Ljeonida Mulabazi

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  • JoJo Siwa & Chris Hughes Could Get Married SO SOON! His Dad Predicts Exactly When! – Perez Hilton

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    We knew JoJo Siwa and Chris Hughes seemed ready to settle down with each other, but we didn’t realize how soon they possibly planned on it!

    You know that the couple met and fell in love on Celebrity Big Brother UK back in April, while the singer was dating Kath Ebbs. After JoJo broke up with her partner a few weeks later, she immediately moved on with Chris. And the pair is moving super fast, even though they’re only a few months into the relationship! They already talked about marriage and babies — which could happen SO SOON! Well, the wedding part, so says Chris’ dad!

    Related: Bradley Cooper ‘Terrified’ Of Marriage Commitment MONTHS After Reports Of Gigi Hadid’s Ultimatum!

    Paul Hughes told Dailymail.com on Friday that Chris and JoJo could tie the knot before Christmas! WHAT?! Does he know something that we don’t know? Did the Love Island UK alum pop the question already? Are they actually planning something? Because — get this — he also already has an idea of where the wedding would take place! There is apparently a small church in a Cotswolds village that is “perfect” for the two! Paul shared:

    “It wouldn’t surprise us if they got married before Christmas, we’ve got St Mary’s Church just over the lane from us which would be perfect.”

    Again, they’ve only been together for a few months! Getting married before the holidays, that’s wild! It’s a good thing the parents approve of JoJo and Chris’ relationship, or else this would be a drama-filled event! His father continued:

    “Chris brought JoJo to meet us more or less as soon as they finished the show and she’s come to stay at the weekends a few times since then. Even though they live together on the outskirts of London, they like to come home here and relax. She’s a lot of fun and just mucks in.”

    Wow!

    See a picture of JoJo and Paul from one of her visits (below):

    (c) JoJo Siwa/Instagram

    This comes after JoJo admitted she wants a traditional wedding with Chris — complete with the first dance, bouquet toss, the whole works. She said on the Reign podcast on Tuesday:

    “I’m happy. I’ve never wanted the future so bad. I’ve never, ever wanted the love that I have to just continue to grow. I’ve never craved a wedding. I’ve always wanted to just like go sign a piece of paper or go to Vegas ’cause I didn’t wanna have a wedding. But now I’m like, ‘No, I want a ring and I want my Dad to walk me down the aisle and I want a first dance and I want butterflies.’”

    Did JoJo come to this realization because she and Chris are already planning a wedding? Hmm. Well, if she wants a traditional wedding and for it to happen before Christmas, as Paul predicted, she’d better get to work on getting it together! The holidays will be here before you know it!

    Reactions, Perezcious readers? Let us know in the comments!

    [Image via JoJo Siwa/Chris Hughes/Instagram]

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    Perez Hilton

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  • Prenups can be an uncomfortable topic, but a big help in the event of heartbreak – MoneySense

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    There’s a certain stigma that can come with a prenuptial or cohabitation agreement, which outlines the fate of a couple’s assets if their marriage or common-law relationship were to end. Some might argue it signals a lack of trust or endurance of the relationship. But the conversation doesn’t have to turn sour, experts say.

    Most professionals will recommend a prenup for couples with a wealth disparity, or if one of them is bound to inherit money from family, and even in situations of second marriages, to make clear the division of assets.

    From assets to expectations, prenups set the ground rules

    But with more people getting together later in life, many already own assets such as a home, vehicle, or have larger investments and savings. Prenups could preserve those assets and keep a record of what each spouse brought into the marriage or cohabitation, said Aimee Schalles, a lawyer and co-founder of Jointly Solutions Ltd., an online prenuptial and cohabitation agreement platform.

    “We’re of the view that prenups are for everybody,” Schalles said. “We think even people who don’t have much can benefit from having some clarity in documenting what their arrangements are, and at least what they’re bringing into the relationship.”

    Usually, a divorce follows the default provincial family law in the absence of a legal prenuptial agreement. 

    Holly LeValliant, estate and trust consultant at Scotiatrust, said while she doesn’t always recommend a prenup to all her clients, splits can be hard without a preset agreement. “You don’t marry the same person you divorce,” she said. “You can end up in a situation where you may regret later not having those conversations.”

    LeValliant said prenuptials require both partners to disclose their complete financial picture. Hiding assets and debt could make the agreement invalid. The partners also need to each seek independent legal advice, she added.

    Have a personal finance question? Submit it here.

    Prenups protect assets and offer financial peace of mind

    While prenups are primarily made to protect each person’s assets, it can also help avoid having to take on your partner’s debt. In most provinces, what people bring into their marriage remains theirs, including debt, Schalles said. “If you came into a relationship with a lot of student debt, in most provinces, that would be yours to keep and your responsibility to pay,” she said.

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    But like assets, debt can accumulate interest—which the partners may have to share. That can be avoided with a prenuptial agreement.

    The timing of these agreements is also really important, experts say. For example, a prenuptial agreement can’t be drawn up a day before the wedding, which could lead to one person feeling pressured to sign the papers without a choice or time to find a lawyer.

    “The courts look at issues like: When was the wedding planned? Had people travelled into the wedding? Have invitations been sent out?” said LeValliant. “If you’re putting too much pressure on that party where they feel like they have no choice but to sign, it may be a void agreement.”

    A flexible prenup grows with your relationship and circumstances

    How the conversation about a prenuptial agreement goes might depend on how the subject is brought up. 

    Talking about a prenuptial is essentially an extension of financial planning, said Blair Evans, assistant vice-president of tax and estate planning at IG Wealth Management. “Sometimes, having a financial discussion is daunting, but the more financial discussions that you do have with your partner, generally, they become less daunting,” he said.

    Schalles said the storytelling method could help get through the hard part of bringing it up. “Unfortunately, almost everybody knows someone who’s been through a bad split,” she said.

    One way to bring up the word “prenup” without conflict could be sliding it in during financial check-ins. “It could be to say to your partner: ‘Hey, you know, do you remember our friend Jonathan and that horrible split that he had a few years ago and how much stress it caused him and his ex-wife? I don’t want that for either of us,’” Schalles said. 

    She added: “If we are to find ourselves in this situation, I would prefer for us to have a plan in advance so we don’t find ourselves going through what they went through, because everybody agrees that that’s ugly.”

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    The Canadian Press

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  • My wife sold her engagement ring to pay our tax bill. It led to my PhD and my career tackling the student-debt crisis

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    An engagement ring changed my life, but not only the way you might think. Let me explain.

    The only reason I went to college, honestly, was football. I was lucky to secure an athletic scholarship that covered half my tuition. My family didn’t talk about money a lot growing up – unless it was in the context of an argument. So, when I got to college, I decided to major in finance, trying to make up for lost time. I was taught everything people should do to develop healthy financial habits, but I still had trouble implementing those practices in my own life. I ended up taking out significantly more loans than I needed.  Even with a scholarship, I still graduated in 2008 owing around $60,000 in student loans. Back then, especially in the Midwest, that was a significant sum.  

    I started working in insurance sales after graduation. I got a credit card and thought, “Great, I can buy all the cool stuff I’ve never had.” I thought it was like free money. I knew it wasn’t, but it was just there. And coming from a more humble background than my peers, I overcompensated by spending on things I shouldn’t have, like expensive clothes and trading in my car for a BMW. Ironically, my old colleagues would probably make fun of me now because I don’t care what I wear anymore, and I drive a Bronco, but I used to.

      

    The Great Recession marked a pivotal moment in my financial life. It wasn’t too bad early on, but once we were in the thick of it, my pay dropped substantially. My spending, however, did not. This continued for a while until I had what I call my “come to Jesus moment.” As a 1099 employee, I was responsible for making payments to the IRS then the remaining balance on Tax Day. But, I received a large commission reversal right before taxes were due, and I hadn’t saved enough to make up the difference. It was truly the worst timing. In hindsight, I realize it wasn’t bad luck. I brought it on myself.

    Given my credit card debt and lack of emergency savings, my decision came down to this: do we owe the IRS a huge amount with penalties and interest, or do we find money wherever we can? At that time, the only thing I could sell was my wife’s engagement ring, which for those who have ever bought a wedding ring know can cost you a few paychecks. She had a beautiful ring, and she actually sold it without telling me because she knew I’d be too egotistical to let it happen. She just did it. That’s how we got out of the tax situation.

     

    After that, I was devastated. I realized I brought it on myself. I knew what people should do, but I still didn’t do it. That’s when I started observing and studying peoples’ relationships with money and how their underlying habits affect their finances. I became deeply interested in the behavioral side of personal finance. My own experience, and my wife’s sacrifice, gave me empathy for those with financial struggles. That drove me to want to help people. So, I got my *CFP® certification, a Master’s, and eventually a PhD. I focused on how people make decisions and how we all can be guided toward healthier habits.  

    There’s often a lot of judgment when it comes to money. And honestly, it’s not just people judging each other, professionals judge people, too. I’m sure my doctor is judging me, thinking, “Dude, you need to lay off those burritos. It’s only a matter of time before this catches up to you.” And he’s right!

    But, when people fear being judged, they don’t ask important questions. According to new research from SoFi, 44% of students and parents feel uninformed about student loans but are probably too afraid to ask questions. I never wanted to be the kind of professional who judged people. Instead, I wanted to coach people and empower them to find solutions.

    Today, I work with a lot of young people facing financial challenges. After the five-year pandemic grace period, collections on student loans have resumed, putting millions at risk of defaulting. In the first quarter of 2025, nearly 6 million people who had borrowed were at least 90 days behind or already in default. More than 2 million saw a 100-point drop in their credit score in that same time period — with over 1 million experiencing dips of over 150 points. What’s more, our data tells us that 93% of borrowers say they would have approached college financing differently if given another chance.    

    The key to a vision for better student lending is simple: people should borrow only what they can reasonably afford to repay. And our system should be set up to reinforce that.  Student debt can be a positive tool. But it requires being honest with yourself about your finances and the amount of borrowing you take on. Liberal and performing arts majors, for example, should think twice about borrowing hundreds of thousands in student loans if their median salary within five years of graduation is approximately $38,000. That advice seems obvious. But as my own story shows, good advice is all too easy to ignore.  

    But it goes beyond borrowers. The government can play a central role by setting clear guidelines about aligning the amount of debt students take on with their means for repayment and by setting reasonable limits on the amount of government loans available. Private lenders play a role, too, by offering alternatives that meet the unique needs of different people. At SoFi, we offer student loan options that allow recent graduates to make interest-only payments for their first nine months in the “real world,” as they build up their emergency savings and get on their feet.

    Lastly, educational institutions can work to match tuition and fees with the economics of real people. Right now, they have no incentive to control the cost of education if there is an unlimited pool of borrowed cash available. Limiting the levels of debt could encourage colleges to match the cost of tuition to the value of the degrees they offer. 

    Collectively, these steps can help create a smarter way for young people to avoid the pitfalls of overextending themselves – and not make the same mistakes I did when I was younger. It’s how we can help the next generation get their money right.  

     ###

    In May 2025, SoFi commissioned a study of 3,500 prospective and current students, graduates, and parents of students to gauge their perspectives on the value of higher education and the methods of paying for it. All current students and graduates included in the sample must have financed at least some of their education through student loans or other educational financing. The sample was nationally reflective within the aforementioned parameters, including a balanced sample of gender, race & ethnicity, geography, and income.

    SoFi Technologies (NASDAQ: SOFI) is a one-stop shop for digital financial services on a mission to help people achieve financial independence to realize their ambitions. Over 11.7 million members trust SoFi to borrow, save, spend, invest, and protect their money – all in one app – and get access to financial planners, exclusive experiences, and a thriving community. Fintechs, financial institutions, and brands use SoFi’s technology platform Galileo to build and manage innovative financial solutions across 160 million global accounts. For more information, visit www.sofi.com or download our iOS and Android apps.

    The opinions expressed in Fortune.com commentary pieces are solely the views of their authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Fortune.

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    Brian Walsh

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  • ‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ ends the franchise with a mix of scares and sentiment

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    There are four words in the title of the latest entry in the “Conjuring” universe, but only one sounds good. It’s the word “last.”

    “The Conjuring: Last Rites” seems to finally nail the coffin shut on this part of the franchise, saying goodbye to a series that revels in timeless scary stuff — swing sets that mysteriously move, creaky floors, battery toys that suddenly turn on and doorknobs that rattle. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, guys.

    Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson reunite to play renowned, real-life paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren, facing an “evil unlike anything they’ve ever encountered.” That evil? It lives in the Pennsylvania suburbs of 1986, of course.

    “Last Rights” — part of a universe that includes “The Nun” and “Annabelle” franchises — is a decent enough final cinematic prayer for this franchise, combining the personal story of the Warrens and their daughter, Judy, with a new paranormal possession that’s created a freaked-out family. It culminates in hope, love and a wedding. But first, demons and projectile vomiting.

    Returning screenwriter David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick — aided by “The Nun II” scribes Ian Goldberg and Richard Naing — have crafted, with returning director Michael Chaves, the franchise’s signature alchemy: saccharine family hugging and laughter combined with ankle-level blood pools.

    The evil thing this time is a full-length wooden-framed mirror with carvings of three children. It’s given as a gift to a girl’s confirmation — a mirror, really? — and soon makes family members levitate, yanks telephone cords (the movie’s younger viewers might laugh at a time when phones had cords) and turns dolls creepy.

    The time period gives the filmmakers great songs — Howard Jones’ “Things Can Only Get Better,” David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance” and The Cult’s “She Sells Sanctuary” — as well as a mention or two of the film “Ghostbusters,” used to mock the Warrens. There are also big shoulder pads, clip-on ties and huge, round glasses.

    We start in 1964, where the young newlywed Warrens are investigating their first case — that possessed darn mirror again — but excuse themselves when a pregnant Lorraine Warren’s water breaks and Judy is born.

    Fast-forward to the 1980s and the couple have sworn off investigating any more paranormal activities on account of Ed’s iffy heart. Plus, Judy, (a nifty Mia Tomlinson) who seems to have inherited her parents’ ability to sense evil, has a boyfriend. “Our family is not like other families,” dad warns her potential suitor.

    This gives the moviemakers a chance to make a wedding dress shopping experience a truly frightening experience — if it wasn’t already — and a garbage disposal explodes in blood. “The Conjuring” has always taken pedestrian things and tried to turn them creepy but maybe jumped the shark last time with a possessed water bed.

    The death of a recurring character connects the Warrens and the story of the poor Pennsylvania family with their horrible mirror. “It found us,” says dad, ominously.

    There’s too much reliance on thunderstorms, quick cuts of grinning monsters, a slow buildup to the climactic final battle that drags in parts — how many delicate moving music boxes can we enjoy watching? — and Ed Warren should probably by now have committed to memory the correct Catholic prayer passages to banish a demon (Ed, man, get off book).

    But you’d be a demon to not give Ed and Lorraine Warren their victory lap. At a time in horror when movies combine race commentary,explore politics or go full-out stabby-stabby, they were the ones who celebrated creaking floorboards and ticking grandfather clocks. It’s time to go but it’s also time to cheer this husband-and-wife team with the creepiest basement in the world.

    “The Conjuring: Last Rites,” a New Line Cinema release in theaters Friday, is rated R for “bloody/violent content and terror.” Running time: 135 minutes. Two and a half stars out of four.

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  • Back Booed Up? Dwight Howard And Soon-To-Be-Ex-Wife Amy Luciani Spark Reconciliation Rumors With Coupled Up Pics

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    Source: Paras Griffin / Getty

    Amy Luciani, the soon-to-be ex-wife of former NBA star Dwight Howard, is sparking reconciliation rumors after the rapper and ex-reality TV star shared photos of herself posing alongside the athlete on Sept. 1. Luciani, who filed for divorce from the baller in July, shared two photos on Monday to her Instagram Stories that showed her looking happy alongside the Los Angeles Lakers alum.

    In one image, the 35-year-old former Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta star stood beside Howard, 39, as he sat in a green armchair, her hand resting on his shoulder while his arm was noticeably wrapped around her leg. Another photo showed the pair cozied up together in a car, with a brown heart emoji placed above them.

    The same images were also shared in a photo carousel, with one image capturing Luciani sporting a huge diamond ring on her hand as she rested by a beautiful pool. The caption read:

    “Quitting was too easy. Aht ahtttttt enemy!”

    Fans flooded the comments section with supportive messages, speculating whether the pair were back on good terms and if the ongoing divorce would be called off.

    “I don’t think she’s getting a divorce, praise the lord,” wrote one Instagram user.  

    Another added:

    “No married couple is perfect, and can’t no one judge your choices when it comes to your relationships do what God and your heart says. I wish you all the love and happiness, you both.” 

    On TheShadeRoom’s post about the couple’s possible reconciliation, Amy’s mother, Jahzara Sankofa, commented and applauded her daughter for continuing to commit to her marriage.

    “I’m so proud of my child @amylucianiworld and son-in-law @dwighthoward for choosing each other, choosing grace, and choosing to fight for love when the world tries to tear it down,” wrote Sankofa. “Every great marriage has storms, but real strength is in the decision to weather them together. What matters most isn’t the noise, it’s the commitment, the growth, and the bond that only they can define.”

    Amy Luciani filed for divorce in July, citing that the marriage was “irretrievably broken.”

    As previously reported, Luciani filed for divorce on July 1 in Georgia’s Superior Court of Gwinnett County, officially ending her marriage with Howard. While the filing did not specify a reason for the breakup, it did state that if Luciani can demonstrate the marriage is “irretrievably broken,” the court would have grounds to grant the divorce.

    The couple wed in a private ceremony in early February 2025, just weeks after announcing their surprising engagement in December 2024. Luciani—whose real name is Amber Rose Howard—confirmed the split, issuing an exclusive statement to The Shade Room on July 8.

    “Although it is true, I am not sure how it got out to the public,” the reality TV star said at the time. “Still wrapping my head around a lot. Although I know it won’t happen, I hope the public can give us grace and privacy right now.”

    Luciani asked for a fair division of all real and personal property accumulated during the marriage, including a balanced split of assets and debts. However, some curious fans quickly began speculating that she was trying to cash in on Howard’s wealth. She later dismissed those claims, firmly denying that she was after half of the NBA star’s assets following the divorce filing.

    “With such a private moment like a marriage ending. I really do want to keep a lot private, but it’s hard to watch this narrative spreading quickly about me,” she wrote in a follow-up post shared on July 9, according to an image obtained by Complex. “I til this day have never asked him for a single dollar. Not 30 cents. Before we married, I asked to sign a prenup. I text it right to him. I told him I want to sign a prenup because I believe what you worked for is yours, and I’m not the type of woman to take what’s not mine. I mentioned a prenup first!! He declined. I do not want any of his assets.”

    Luciani clarified that the rumors did not reflect her true “character,” and noted that her marriage to the NBA All-Star was rooted purely in love.

    “Believe it or not, some of us women really date/marry for love,” she added. 

    Do you think Amy Luciani and Dwight Howard are back together?

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    Shannon Dawson

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  • Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s wedding party: Celebrities who could make the cut

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    Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s big day wouldn’t be complete without their closest friends by their side.

    Swift and Kelce announced their engagement Aug. 26 after two years of dating.

    While neither has revealed who might serve as bridesmaids or groomsmen, the couple has a long list of celebrity pals who could play a role in the celebration.

    TAYLOR SWIFT, TRAVIS KELCE’S PRENUP COULD PROTECT MORE THAN COUPLE’S MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR EMPIRE: EXPERT

    Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift announced their engagement on Aug. 26. (Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

    Here’s a look at Swift and Kelce’s closest friends:

    Selena Gomez

    Taylor Swift performs with Selena Gomez

    Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift have been friends since the early 2000s. (Christopher Polk/TAS/Getty Images for TAS)

    Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift first became pals when they were each dating one of the Jonas Brothers in 2008. They became fast friends and, over the years, have supported each other’s careers. Gomez has appeared on stage with Swift during her tours, including “Speak Now World Tour” and “The Reputation Stadium Tour.”

    Swift and Gomez have also worked together, with Gomez appearing in the “Bad Blood” music video and Swift on Gomez’s cooking show.

    Gomez is also in her bridal era following a December 2024 engagement to music producer Benny Blanco.

    TAYLOR SWIFT AND NFL STAR TRAVIS KELCE ARE ENGAGED AFTER 2 YEARS TOGETHER

    Abigail

    Abigail Anderson and Taylor Swift at an award show

    Taylor Swift wrote the song “Fifteen” about her best friend Abigail. (Getty Images)

    Swift and her childhood friend Abigail remain extremely close. 

    The singer-songwriter wrote “Fifteen” about Abigail for her album “Fearless” and the girls have maintained their friendship into adulthood.

    Abigail made an appearance in Swift’s documentary, “Miss Americana,” and has popped up in multiple music videos throughout the years.

    TAYLOR SWIFT AND BOYFRIEND TRAVIS KELCE’S SHARED MORAL VALUES SPARKED ORGANIC LOVE STORY

    Gigi Hadid

    Gigi Hadid and Taylor Swift spotted on the street

    Gigi Hadid appeared in Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” music video. (Michael Stewart/GC Images)

    Taylor Swift welcomed Gigi Hadid into her girl squad in 2014 – after the two were photographed at an Oscars after party together. Hadid is notoriously featured in Swift’s “Bad Blood” music video and the two are still spotted on dinner dates years later.

    “As a friend, Gigi is one of the first people I go to for advice,” Swift told Harper’s Bazaar in 2016. “She has this incredible ability to see all sides of a situation and simplify it for you, to see the complexity of people…Gigi’s #1 rule is to treat people the way she’d want to be treated, so she’s on time (or early) to work, says hello to everyone on set, asks them how they are, and actually listens to their response. She is an innately kind and inclusive person who has managed to become a huge power player and businesswoman without ever compromising that.”

    Sabrina Carpenter

    Sabrina Carpenter on tour with Taylor Swift

    Sabrina Carpenter and Taylor Swift perform at the “Eras Tour.” ( Don Arnold/TAS24/Getty Images for TAS Rights Management)

    Sabrina Carpenter, who opened for Swift on “The Eras Tour,” has been a longtime fan of the pop star, but it’s unclear when the two actually formed a friendship. Carpenter and Swift were first photographed together at an MTV VMAs after-party in 2022. By June 2023, Swift had announced Carpenter would be joining her on tour.

    The two have also been spotted together outside the music world, with Carpenter joining Swift for the Kansas City Chiefs game against the New York Jets. Carpenter will even be featured on Swift’s 12th studio album, “The Life of a Showgirl.”

    Carpenter didn’t reveal much when asked about her collaboration with Swift in an interview with “CBS Mornings,” but did express excitement for the pop star’s engagement.

    “I’m just happy for them,” Carpenter said.

    Zoë Kravitz

    Zoe Kravitz on a late night show

    Zoë Kravitz and Taylor Swift have been friends for years. (Getty Images)

    Swift has been close to actress Zoë Kravitz since at least 2016. The two have been spotted out and about together in the years since.

    Kravitz and Swift were quarantined together during the COVID-19 pandemic and the “Caught Stealing” actress recently stayed at the pop star’s home during the California fires.

    Kravitz revealed that she contributed a tiny bit to Swift’s 12th album, “The Life of a Showgirl,” after helping with background vocals on a previous song.

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    Jason Kelce

    Jason Kelce and Travis Kelce hug while Taylor Swift stands nearby

    Jason Kelce met Taylor Swift at one of Travis Kelce’s NFL games. (Rob Carr/Getty Images)

    There’s a strong likelihood Jason Kelce could be Travis Kelce’s best man.

    The two brothers have grown closer than ever since launching their podcast, “New Heights,” in 2022.

    “Travis and I have been close for a long time,” he told People magazine. “Now with the [New Heights] podcast, we talk to each other more than we ever have. We loved each other growing up. We still love each other. Now it’s more like peer to peer, whereas growing up, being the older brother, it was a little bit different.”

    Jason’s wife, Kylie Kelce, would also likely play a significant role in the couple’s wedding celebration.

    Patrick Mahomes

    Taylor Swift, Brittany Mahomes, Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes at a tennis match

    Patrick Mahomes, Brittany Mahomes, Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift have formed a friendship since the two began dating. (MediaPunch/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)

    Kelce’s friend and Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes is also a big contender.

    Kelce was a groomsman to the NFL star when he married wife Brittany Mahomes in 2022. Now it might be Mahomes’ turn as Kelce marries Swift.

    “He means the world to me, man,” Mahomes recently told reporters about his friendship with Kelce.

    Brittany and Swift have been spotted together at a handful of Kansas City Chiefs games, cheering on their respective love interests. The two have also spent time together outside of football.

    The Mahomes joined Swift and Kelce on a double date days before Super Bowl LIX.

    Kumar Feguson

    Travis Kelce's friends attend a "New Heights" event

    (L-R) Harry Clark, Alex Skacel, Ross Travis, Andre Eaves, Aaron Eaves and Kumar Ferguson attend The New Heights House Party hosted by Jason and Travis Kelce. (Shy McGrath/WireImage)

    Kumar Ferguson—Kelce’s childhood friend and now longtime personal chef—could easily be part of the groom’s inner circle at the wedding.

    Ferguson is often spotted in Kelce’s suite on game day after cooking up meals for the NFL star.

    “Being brothers is funny because we can throw shots at each other all day, but Travis is incredible when it comes to professionalism and just being on top of taking whatever he’s investing into,” Ferguson told Kansas City magazine when asked if Kelce ever critiques his meals.

    Aric Jones

    Travis Kelce, Taylor Swift and Aric Jones attend the Stanley Cup Final

    Travis Kelce, Taylor Swift and Aric Jones enjoy the Stanley Cup Finals. (Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

    Kelce’s childhood friend Aric Jones could make the list. The two grew up together in Cleveland Heights and have since stayed close.

    Jones previously explained how Kelce’s closest friends have formed a “cohesive unit” to support the tight end in his career.

    “So obviously, Kumar’s making the food for Trav, and Trav gets his haircut on game days by Patty Cuts,” he told People magazine. “He will drive to the game with one or two people, depending on who they are. I don’t go to the games with Trav because my job is to be on the party bus entertaining the guests.”

    “I’m up in the front and as loud as I can be. I’m the fan guy,” Jones said. “These people know me as I’m the one up there interacting with the fans, being loud in the suite, getting all the energy exactly where it needs to be in the front. There’s a party in the back, energy in the front.”

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    Ross Travis

    Travis Kelce, Taylor Swift and Ross Travis at the Stanley Cup Final

    Ross Travis and Travis Kelce met playing for the Kansas City Chiefs. (Mike Carlson/Getty Images)

    Former Chiefs’ tight end Ross Travis and Kelce have been friends after playing together for years.

    While Travis hasn’t played for the Chiefs since 2017, the two have remained close. Travis is often spotted in Kelce’s suite at Arrowhead Stadium. He even tagged along to see Swift perform in Sydney, Australia.

    “I understand now,” he wrote on his Instagram story after attending Swift’s “Eras Tour” alongside Kelce. “That. Was. Amazing.”

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  • Should I Stay or Should I Go? When Is the Right Time to Seek Divorce

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    Why Do Couples Divorce?

    Soft vs. Hard Reasons

    There are several commonly reported contributors to divorce. Research reported in the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage distinguishes between “soft” reasons –  not being able to talk to each other, high levels of conflict and arguing, feeling lonely within the relationship – and ‘“hard” reasons such as abuse, addiction and infidelity.  Despite what you may think, the big dealbreaker issues are not the most common causes. All too often the couples report a variation of the soft theme of  “we just grew apart”.  Another study looked at the role of perceived happiness and beliefs about romantic love in the divorce decision making process. The ephemeral concept of being “in love” versus feeling more general love for a partner influences respondents’ attitudes toward the possibility of divorce in the future, as does whether a person believes it is important to work at both love and happiness within a relationship.

    The Blame Game

    Not surprisingly, most of the people surveyed blamed their spouse for the divorce, not themselves. Now think about that. If I feel like I’ve “fallen out of love” with my partner and I believe this means we are not compatible and that my happiness lies elsewhere, I may end a relationship and suffer the often devastating consequences.

    What if, instead of taking this unexamined path, I were to learn that relationship fluctuations are natural and expected, that the bloom for lust and love do settle down, and that communication can be learned and the distance between us can be bridged? This is what I teach in my 12-week Become Passion couples program. Many of my couples tell me that they were filing for divorce and took my program as a last chance effort – and that they were shocked to realize how little they knew about the predictors of divorce and the prescription for long term relationship health. 

    Impact of Divorce

    Anyone who has been through a divorce or breakup of any committed romantic relationship knows the aftermath is rough. There is plenty of research detailing the dire effects of divorce, but all you really need to do is look at your friends and your own history. 

    There can be significant negative impacts on everything from physical and mental health to finances to the effect on your children, family and social circle and much more. While few people leave a major relationship lightly, too many may do it for the wrong reasons, or for reasons that are valid but can be changed.

    Now to be clear, sometimes a divorce is a wise solution to relationship troubles. I have no philosophical, moral, spiritual or clinical reason to be opposed to divorce – I myself was divorced two short years after the Mamma Mia wedding. But before you make a final decision, make sure to evaluate your motivations and consider the possibility that the two of you can create a more healthy and happy relationship together. This evaluation is very helpful whether or not or choose to stay or go, because clarity can help with your healing either way.

    Signs You Are in Trouble – But Change is Possible  

    Poor Communication

    No matter how hard you try, it feels like every conversation turns into an argument. You are walking on eggshells or, in Gottman terms, are caught in negative sentiment override. There is a lot of criticism and the other horsemen have taken up residence in your living room. When you do have a more reasonable discussion it feels like your partner doesn’t understand you, which leaves you feeling frustrated and alone.

    Loss of Connection

    You are living separate lives, stuck in what I call Marriage Inc. – where you run your household and family like a business but there is little or no “us”, just joint CEO’s making sure the mortgage gets paid and the kids get to school on time. There is little or no emotional connection, cuddling, or sexuality. It’s the dreaded “roommates  not lovers”. 

    Trust Betrayal

    Whether your trust has been betrayed by a big event like infidelity or discovering your partner has spent all of your carefully accumulated savings behind your back, or trust has been slowly worn down by a cumulation of broken promises, lack of trust is a major problem that must be addressed.

    If You’re Thinking of Leaving

    You probably ask yourself questions like: 

    “Should I get a divorce?”

    “How can I get emotional clarity about whether to stay or go?”

    “When is it time to let go of my relationship?”

    The Cycle of Thoughts and Emotions

    Perhaps you’ve been unhappy in your relationship for a long time. Maybe you feel like you are the only one lobbying for more. You don’t know whether to stay or go. You dream about future happiness, yet you know the emotional, financial and family toll that usually follows in the wake of divorce. This state of psychological ambivalence – feeling both pulled to stay AND pulled to leave – is extremely uncomfortable. Spending endless hours in a paralyzing cycle of pros and cons, fear and hope, doubt and temporary certainty is emotionally exhausting.

    You want to get away from this person you believe doesn’t give you what you desire, this person who disappoints you, takes you for granted, and frankly annoys or angers you on a daily basis. You don’t like who you’ve become – critical, negative, clingy and demanding. All too often it feels like the right decision is to leave.

    And yet…despite all these factors, leaving your relationship may not be the solution. It might surprise you to learn that the outcome does not always deliver the results you hope for. It is difficult to accurately quantify the percentage of partners who regret leaving a marriage, but a number of research surveys and studies indicate between 30-50% of respondents they feel they made a mistake and wish they’d tried harder to work things out. Why might that be?

    Regret

    For an interesting perspective on why so many people regret the decision to divorce we can look at the work of happiness researcher and Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert. After all, when we think about filing for divorce, we are at heart looking for a way to escape from unhappiness. We believe there are more negatives than positives in this relationship. We fantasize about a better future where we are either happy alone or are happy in a new, better, relationship (with a new, better person than the one we are with now).

    However, as Gilbert points out, we humans are lousy at predicting our future happiness. We imagine the future WILL be better than this, but we have no data and no way to know if that will be so. This sort of “future happiness bias” can lead us to make a major, life changing decision based on no real evidence. 

    Of course that doesn’t mean you should stay in an untenable situation. But given the regrets expressed by a significant percentage of divorced people – don’t rush into it. Consider the decision carefully and mindfully. It’s not as simple as getting rid of the person who you believe is causing your misery.  In my career, I’ve seen too many divorced individuals who left a marriage prematurely and unnecessarily – creating a permanent and devastating solution for a potentially temporary albeit very painful situation. I also see hundreds of couples each year that make major improvements by simply doing the work and getting the knowledge they need.

    How to Re-Evaluate

    If things are not going well, think about these questions:

    • Are you in a temporary crisis that may change? Will you feel differently when these feelings settle or are you certain this is the end of your relationship?
    • What are the best and worst things you feel will happen if you do stay together?
    • What are the best and worst things you feel will happen if you divorce?
    • What part do you play in the unhappiness of this marriage? Do you focus on making time for each other, planning romance, creating time for conversations? Are YOU being a great partner?
    • Are you willing to seek professional help? Will your partner participate? If they will not, are you willing to seek help on your own to facilitate the possibility that you can learn to approach them in a manner that engages them in the relationship process?

    Next Steps

    In two words? Get Help. You need to be able to understand your issues, explore the causes, work on communication and connection, and strengthen what I call your Passion Triangle –  three key areas couples need to strengthen if they want a great relationship. You can take my free starter course to learn more about these. By actively working on these three areas, couples can build a stronger foundation for their relationship and significantly reduce the risk of divorce.

    Take time. Slow down. You are likely in a stress crisis that may – or may not – be temporary. Because psychological ambivalence is so painful you may be tempted to resolve this ambivalence by making a firm decision. I encourage you to stay in the discomfort for a while longer while you evaluate your unique situation.

    Take into account that people regret their decisions and future happiness is not guaranteed and there is significant clinical evidence that deeply troubled relationships can recover. Our perceptions are not always reality. Sometimes a temporary separation can help.  That’s what Howard and Karen – the couple I speak about in the video – did. They used the time apart to get professional help, then to take my program and learn what they simply didn’t know. Today they are happier than they’ve been in decades, going on wonderful trips to Europe, joining me and the other couples from my programs in Mexico for a fabulous workshop and couples celebration this year, planning surprises for each other and generally living their life to the fullest. 

    That’s a huge improvement from throwing your wedding crowns into the sea.

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    Cheryl Fraser

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  • Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce’s prenup could protect more than couple’s multimillion-dollar empire: expert

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    Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce likely didn’t leave a blank space on a prenuptial agreement.

    Swift announced Kelce had proposed in an Instagram post on Aug. 26. The pop star shared photos of the intimate moment, including the caption, “Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married.”

    The couple’s starpower means there’s a lot at stake when it comes to their marriage. Swift and Kelce have a combined estimated net worth of about $1.67 billion, according to Forbes. However, a prenup doesn’t have to just focus on the money aspect. Swift has been notably private about the specific details of her relationships. The couple could use a prenup to protect their privacy should anything go south in their marriage, according to family law attorney Monica Mazzei.

    “Given that they are both public figures, a prenup can also ensure privacy in a divorce, such as precluding any disparaging social media posts or interviews,” Mazzei, a shareholder at Buchalter, explained. “Likewise, it can require the divorce to be heard by a private judge, further limiting any public exposure.”

    TAYLOR SWIFT AND NFL STAR TRAVIS KELCE ARE ENGAGED AFTER 2 YEARS TOGETHER

    Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift likely signed a prenuptial agreement before the proposal, a family law expert told Fox News Digital. (Patrick Smith/Getty Images)

    Due to the financial success of the singer and football star, a prenup was likely signed “far in advance” of Kelce’s romantic proposal, family lawyer Jacqueline Newman explained to Fox News Digital.

    “There’s very little doubt in my mind that they’ll be negotiating after the fact,” Newman, a managing partner at Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein LLP, said. “I think that their teams would make it crucial for this to be something that must be done before the romantic gesture. So, I think they got rid of all the business part of it, and then he obviously dropped to a knee and proposed to her. But I can pretty much guarantee that the agreement is signed, sealed and already in a drawer somewhere.”

    TAYLOR SWIFT AND BOYFRIEND TRAVIS KELCE’S SHARED MORAL VALUES SPARKED ORGANIC LOVE STORY

    Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce after Chiefs Super Bowl win

    Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift announced their engagement on Aug. 26. (Getty Images)

    Swift’s net worth surpassed $1 billion in October 2023, with the “Eras Tour,” her rerecorded albums and her latest releases pushing her to about $1.4 billion, according to Forbes.

    The singer-songwriter pulled in over $2 billion in ticket sales for the tour – which featured performances of songs from all 11 of Swift’s studio albums, the outlet reported. Swift concluded the “Eras Tour” in December 2024 and has since announced the upcoming release of her 12th studio album, “The Life of a Showgirl.”

    For his part, Kelce is worth an estimated $70 million. While his main job has been playing tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs, Kelce has actually brought in the majority of his net worth from off the field. The outlet reported Kelce has earned $111 million from football, before taxes and other fees. However, he’s raked in an estimated $190 million from outside endeavors – including his and brother Jason’s $100 million “New Heights” podcast contract with Wondery.

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    Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce hold hands

    Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce began dating in the summer of 2023.  (Photo by TheStewartofNY/GC Images)

    While prenuptial agreements are often seen as a “sign of mistrust,” a senior wealth advisor explained to Fox News Digital that they are actually a “proactive tool” of protection. Couples with substantial wealth, like Swift and Kelce, face far-reaching financial implications, according to Cassandra Rupp of Vanguard.

    “While every circumstance is different, it’s common for wealthy partners to explore prenuptial agreements – not as a sign of mistrust, but as a proactive tool to protect individual assets, clarify financial responsibilities and preserve harmony,” she said. “A well-crafted prenup might include provisions for existing wealth, future earnings from intellectual property or business ventures, and even philanthropic commitments.”

    The wealth advisor noted it’s not unusual for couples to include future income, such as royalties, endorsements or media rights.

    “Ultimately, the focus should be on transparency, mutual respect and aligning financial values to support a strong foundation for the relationship,” Rupp added.

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    Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce spotted in NYC

    Branding expert Eric Schiffer told Fox News Digital that if Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce chose to make their wedding public, streaming rights could be worth more than $110 million. (XNY/Star Max/GC Images)

    Future income could come from Swift and Kelce’s wedding, if the couple chose to make the nuptials public. The streaming contract for a Swift-Kelce wedding would likely be “north of $110 million,” according to branding expert Eric Schiffer.

    “I mean this ‘I do’ is a license to print money because, you know, streamers have wedding-night prices that make the old Kim Kardashian TV photo package look like baby money,” he told Fox News Digital. “So there’s a lot of opportunity. But I don’t see them doing that. I think even though the amount is probably north of $110 million that they could make, but the reputational tax is a killing machine for both of them.”

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