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Tag: marriage

  • eharmony vs. Match: Which Dating App Is Better In 2022?

    eharmony vs. Match: Which Dating App Is Better In 2022?

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    “When it comes to cost considerations, eharmony has a more extensive process of matching than Match, which in theory will connect users with more aligned matches,” says Alyssa Dineen, a dating expert, author of The Art of Online Dating, and founder of Style My Profile. “However, in most areas, Match is more widely used and therefore would have a better selection of potential dates, making it theoretically more worth the cost.”

    “As with all dating apps, the usage varies geographically, including usage by age,” she tells mbg. “For example, within major cities, neither eharmony or Match is widely used for people under 60. Even outside of metropolitan areas, in my experience, Match is more popular than eharmony.”

    As for which app is worth your buck, Dineen recommends choosing the dating service that works best for you and your unique situation. Just like any other person you’re dating, treat the apps the same way. Be choosy and selectively pick the apps that can garner success for you. Don’t look at the overall general reviews but instead check out reviews from people who are in a similar demographic and geographic area. 

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  • US Catholic bishops worry about abortion views in the pews

    US Catholic bishops worry about abortion views in the pews

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    BALTIMORE — Even as they signaled a continued hardline stance on opposing abortion and same-sex marriage, the nation’s Catholic bishops acknowledged Wednesday that they’re struggling to reach a key audience: their own flock.

    The members of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops rounded out their leadership bench during the last day of public sessions of their fall annual meeting in Baltimore, which concludes with private meetings Thursday.

    They also set in motion a plan to recirculate their long-standing election document in 2024 — a 15-year-old statement that prioritizes opposition to abortion — while acknowledging it’s outdated and adding a cover statement addressing such things as the teachings of Pope Francis and the Supreme Court’s Dobbs ruling in June that overturned the nationwide right to abortion.

    The bishops elected Oklahoma City Archbishop Paul Coakley as secretary in a 130-104 vote over Cardinal Joseph Tobin of Newark, New Jersey, who had been named a cardinal by Pope Francis. It’s the second time in five years that the bishops have passed over a Francis-appointed cardinal for a key leadership post.

    Earlier this year, Coakley had applauded the decision by San Francisco’s archbishop to deny Communion to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a Catholic Democrat from that city who supports abortion rights. So had the bishops’ new point man on opposition to abortion — Bishop Michael Burbidge of Arlington, Virginia, elected Wednesday as chairman of its Committee on Pro-Life Activities.

    The votes came a day after the bishops elected as their new president Archbishop Timothy Broglio of the Archdiocese for the Military Services. Broglio is also seen as more of a culture warrior than Pope Francis, though Broglio has dismissed the idea of any “dissonance” between the two.

    At the same time, Coakley cited the importance of Francis’ priorities in a news conference Wednesday.

    Coakley is leading the bishops’ review of, “Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship,” a document they have used in election years with only minor revisions since 2007.

    While a full revision will take years, bishops approved Coakley’s recommendation to begin drafting a new introduction to issue with the document in time for 2024’s election. It would incorporate recent events such as the Ukraine war and the Dobbs decision.

    The plan also includes using parish bulletins and social media to share main ideas from the lengthy document.

    Coakley said the new introduction needs to reflect Pope Francis’ priorities, such as promoting civil discourse and protecting the environment.

    “It’s a rich pontificate that offers us plenty to lay out for people … to embrace the vision that Pope Francis has articulated,” Coakley said.

    Bishops from both the progressive and conservative flanks of the church echoed concern that Catholics aren’t reading the document.

    Bishop John Stowe of Lexington, Kentucky, a Francis appointee, said that bishops need a statement that’s relevant amid the shaken confidence in democracy following the U.S. Capitol riot and in the wake of Dobbs and defeats for abortion opponents in votes on five state ballot measures. “It’s irresponsible to issue an old teaching and suggest the church has nothing new to say when so much of this context has changed,” he said.

    Bishop Joseph Strickland of Tyler, Texas, one of the most outspoken conservative bishops, lamented the recent state ballot measures. Polls show Catholics to be mixed on legal abortion.

    “I think it’s a solid document,” Strickland said, but “I think we have to acknowledge people aren’t listening.”

    The gap between Francis and the U.S. bishops reflects in part the conference’s continued emphasis on culture-war battles over abortion and same-sex marriage.

    Francis, while also opposing both in keeping with church teaching, has used his papacy to emphasize a wider agenda of bringing mercy to those at the margins, such as migrants and other poor. The Vatican said in 2021 the church cannot bless gay unions because God “cannot bless sin,” but Francis has made outreach to the church’s LGBTQ members a hallmark of his papacy. As recently as last Friday, Francis met with the Rev. James Martin, an American Jesuit priest whom the pontiff has supported in his calls for dialogue with LGBTQ Catholics.

    Both Pelosi and President Joe Biden, another Catholic who favors legalized abortion, have received Communion since 2021 in churches in Rome, the pope’s own diocese.

    The bishops also heard an impassioned talk Wednesday by Archbishop Borys Gudziak of the Ukrainian Archeparchy of Philadelphia on behalf of war-torn Ukraine.

    Gudziak thanked U.S. Catholics for providing millions in relief for displaced Ukrainians and urged continued American support for Ukraine’s self-defense, saying Russian assaults have left many vulnerable in the coming winter.

    At the same time, he said that on a conference call with staff at a Catholic university in Lviv, he heard only joy and resolve even amid losses of electrical power in Russia’s missile barrage Tuesday. One staff member told him, “Better without electricity and with Kherson,” he said, alluding to the recently liberated city.

    Gudziak accused Russia of a “genocide” through such attacks and through its denial of Ukrainians’ identity as a separate people.

    Also Wednesday, a small group of survivors of sexual abuse and their supporters held a sidewalk news conference outside Baltimore Marriott Waterfront, where the bishops are meeting. While this year marks the 20th anniversary of the bishops’ landmark policy barring all abusers from ministry, advocates are seeking more transparency.

    They called for bishops in every diocese to post detailed lists of credibly accused abusers and to stop lobbying against state legislation that would extend statutes of limitations for abuse lawsuits.

    David Lorenz, Maryland director of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, cited Archbishop Broglio’s archdiocese as one of the few that still does not publish even a minimal list of abusers. Broglio declined to comment.

    “I don’t need another apology because it doesn’t do anything to protect kids,” Lorenz added. “I want action to help kids. I want them (bishops) to be totally, absolutely transparent.”

    Also Wednesday, the bishops voted to advance efforts to have three American women declared saints.

    They include Michelle Duppong of North Dakota, a campus missionary who died of cancer in 2014 and is credited with showing faithfulness in suffering.

    They also include two 20th century women: Cora Evans, a Catholic convert from Utah who reported mystical experiences from an early age; and Mother Margaret Mary Healy Murphy of Texas, founder of a religious order, who provided education and other ministry to African Americans.

    ———

    Associated Press religion coverage receives support through the AP’s collaboration with The Conversation US, with funding from Lilly Endowment Inc. The AP is solely responsible for this content.

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  • Senate clears key procedural step on bill to protect same-sex marriage | CNN Politics

    Senate clears key procedural step on bill to protect same-sex marriage | CNN Politics

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    CNN
     — 

    The Senate on Wednesday cleared a key procedural hurdle toward historic passage of the bipartisan bill to protect same-sex and interracial marriage, voting 62-37 to break a filibuster.

    There could be additional votes before final passage, but Wednesday’s successful test vote signals the bill is on a glide path to succeed, a remarkable turn of events given how contentious the issue of same-sex marriage was just a few years ago.

    While the bill would not set a national requirement that all states must legalize same-sex marriage, it would require individual states to recognize another state’s legal marriage. So, in the event the Supreme Court might overturn its 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges decision that legalized same-sex marriage, a state could still pass a law to ban same-sex marriage, but that state would be required to recognize a same-sex marriage from another state.

    All 50 members of the Democratic caucus voted to start debate on the bill as well as 12 Republicans.

    It’s unclear when the chamber will vote on final passage. Without an agreement to speed up passage of the bill which needs consent from all 100 senators, final passage will likely occur after the Senate returns from Thanksgiving recess.

    Still, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer told CNN he wants his chamber’s bill to pass by Thursday before senators leave for their Thanksgiving recess all next week.

    “We’re hoping that could happen,” he said.

    Earlier this week, Schumer expressed “hope” that after the vote Wednesday, “both sides can work quickly together to move this bill through the Senate and on to the president’s desk.”

    “It already passed the House earlier this year with significant 47 Republican votes and I’m optimistic we can achieve a significant result in this chamber,” he added.

    Once the bill passes the Senate, it will need to be passed again through the House before going to President Joe Biden’s desk to be signed into law. Supporters of the bill hope to pass the legislation through the House before the end of the year as Republicans appear on track to take control of the chamber in the next Congress.

    Earlier this week, the bipartisan negotiators who worked on the legislation, announced they were “confident” the bill has enough votes to pass and were hoping the bill could be put to the floor for a vote.

    The bipartisan group, which includes Republican Sens. Rob Portman of Ohio, Susan Collins of Maine and Thom Tillis of North Carolina and Democratic Sens. Tammy Baldwin of Wisconsin and Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona, said in a statement Monday that they “look forward to this legislation coming to the floor.”

    Lawmakers had hoped to pass the bill before leaving for recess ahead of the midterm elections, but the chamber punted on a vote until after the November elections as negotiators asked for more time to lock down support. That gamble appears to have paid off for the bill’s supporters given the 12 Republican votes to break the filibuster Wednesday.

    In a sign of how much support has grown in recent years for same-sex marriage, the bill found backing from GOP senators including those in deeply red states.

    Republican Sen. Cynthia Lummis of Wyoming told CNN’s Manu Raju that she voted to advance the Senate’s same-sex marriage bill due to “Article 1, Section 3 of the Wyoming Constitution,” which she read to reporters and includes an anti-discrimination clause.

    “That’s why we’re called the equality state,” she added.

    Utah Sen. Mitt Romney said the “bill made sense” and “provides important religious liberty protections.”

    “While I believe in traditional marriage, Obergefell is and has been the law of the land upon which LGBTQ individuals have relied,” Romney said in a statement. “This legislation provides certainty to many LGBTQ Americans, and it signals that Congress—and I—esteem and love all of our fellow Americans equally.”

    This story and headline have been updated to reflect additional developments.

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  • Bill protecting same-sex and interracial marriages clears key Senate hurdle

    Bill protecting same-sex and interracial marriages clears key Senate hurdle

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    WASHINGTON — Legislation to protect same-sex and interracial marriages crossed a major Senate hurdle Wednesday, putting Congress on track to take the historic step of ensuring that such unions are enshrined in federal law.

    Twelve Republicans voted with all Democrats to move forward on the legislation, meaning a final vote could come as soon as this week, or later this month. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer said the bill ensuring the unions are legally recognized under the law is chance for the Senate to “live up to its highest ideals” and protect marriage equality for all people.

    “It will make our country a better, fairer place to live,” Schumer said, noting that his own daughter and her wife are expecting a baby next year.

    Senate Democrats are quickly moving to pass the bill while the party still controls the House. Republicans are on the verge of winning the House majority and would be unlikely to take up the issue next year.

    The bill has gained steady momentum since the Supreme Court’s June decision that overturned Roe v. Wade and the federal right to an abortion. An opinion at that time from Justice Clarence Thomas suggested that an earlier high court decision protecting same-sex marriage could also come under threat.

    The legislation would repeal the Clinton-era Defense of Marriage Act and require states to recognize all marriages that were legal where they were performed. The new Respect for Marriage Act would also protect interracial marriages by requiring states to recognize legal marriages regardless of “sex, race, ethnicity, or national origin.”

    Congress has been moving to protect same-sex marriage as support from the general public — and from Republicans in particular — has sharply grown in recent years, as the Supreme Court’s 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges decision legalized gay marriage nationwide. Recent polling has found more than two-thirds of the public supports same-sex unions.

    Still, many Republicans in Congress have been reluctant to support the legislation. Democrats delayed consideration until after the midterm elections, hoping that would relieve political pressure on some GOP senators who might be wavering.

    A proposed amendment to the bill, negotiated by supporters to bring more Republicans on board, would clarify that it does not affect rights of private individuals or businesses that are already enshrined in law. Another tweak would make clear that a marriage is between two people, an effort to ward off some far-right criticism that the legislation could endorse polygamy.

    Three Republicans said early on that they would support the legislation and have lobbied their GOP colleagues to support it: Maine Sen. Susan Collins, North Carolina Sen. Thom Tillis and Ohio Sen. Rob Portman.

    “Current federal law doesn’t reflect the will or beliefs of the American people in this regard,” Portman said ahead of the vote. “It’s time for the Senate to settle the issue.”

    The growing GOP support for the issue is a sharp contrast from even a decade ago, when many Republicans vocally opposed same-sex marriages. The legislation passed the House in a July vote with the support of 47 Republicans — a larger-than-expected number that gave the measure a boost in the Senate.

    On Tuesday, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints became the most recent conservative-leaning group to back the legislation. In a statement, the Utah-based faith said church doctrine would continue to consider same-sex relationships to be against God’s commandments, but it would support rights for same-sex couples as long as they didn’t infringe upon religious groups’ right to believe as they choose.

    Wisconsin Sen. Tammy Baldwin, a Democrat who is the first openly gay senator and has been working on gay rights issues for almost four decades, said the newfound openness from many Republicans on the subject reminds her “of the arc of the LBGTQ movement to begin with, in the early days when people weren’t out and people knew gay people by myths and stereotypes.”

    Baldwin said that as more individuals and families have become visible, hearts and minds have changed.

    “And slowly laws have followed,” she said. “It is history.”

    Schumer said the issue is personal to him, as well.

    “Passing the Respect for Marriage Act is as personal as it gets for many senators and their staffs, myself included,” Schumer said. “My daughter and her wife are actually expecting a little baby in February. So it matters a lot to so many of us to get this done.”

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  • Candace Cameron Bure criticized by JoJo Siwa and others over ‘traditional marriage’ comment | CNN

    Candace Cameron Bure criticized by JoJo Siwa and others over ‘traditional marriage’ comment | CNN

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    CNN
     — 

    Months after they had a public back and forth, JoJo Siwa is voicing her disappointment with Candace Cameron Bure.

    The singer/dancer, 19, posted on her verified Instagram about Bure after the former “Full House” star talked to the Wall Street Journal about her work with the faith-based channel, Great American Family.

    When asked if the Great American Family will include LGBTQ storylines in their projects, Cameron Bure said, “I think that Great American Family will keep traditional marriage at the core.”

    Siwa identifies as queer and shared a screen grab of a headline which read, “Candace Cameron Bure’s plans for new cable channel: No gays.”

    “Honestly, I can’t believe after everything that went down just a few months ago, that she would not only create a movie with intention of excluding LGBTQIA+, but then also talk about it in the press,” Siwa wrote. “This is rude and hurtful to a whole community of people.”

    In July Siwa posted a video on TikTok that went viral in which she shared a photo of Cameron Bure as the “rudest celebrity” she had ever met, later revealing she had felt ignored by the star at an event when she was a child and tried to meet her.

    Cameron Bure responded in a video on her verified Instagram account explaining that she was “shocked” by the designation and said everything was “all good” after the pair connected and discussed it.

    Siwa wasn’t the only one upset by Cameron Bure’s recent comment.

    Actress Hilarie Burton slammed her and Bill Abbott, chief executive of Great American Media, for “bigotry.”

    “That guy and his network are disgusting,” Burton tweeted. “You too Candy. There is nothing untraditional about same-sex couples.”

    CNN has reached out to reps for Bure and Great American Media for comment.

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  • Louisiana churches leave Methodist denomination amid schism

    Louisiana churches leave Methodist denomination amid schism

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    NEW ORLEANS, La. — The United Methodist Church, a mainstay of the American religious landscape, has cut ties with 58 churches in its Louisiana conference amid a nationwide schism within the Protestant denomination.

    The disaffiliations, approved in a virtual conference session Saturday, were the latest in a series of decisions that many Louisiana churches have made in recent weeks to leave the national congregation. Internal tensions over sexuality and theology have roiled the church.

    The congregation’s delegates voted 487-35 in favor of the departures. The disaffiliations required support from two-thirds of the delegates.

    Six churches leaving the conference are from the New Orleans area. Another seven churches are from the Baton Rouge area. St. Timothy, which at 6,000 members is one of the largest Methodist congregations in Louisiana, voted to pursue disaffiliation on Nov. 1, The Advocate reported.

    The United Methodist Church is the latest of several mainline Protestant denominations in the U.S. to begin fracturing amid debates over sexuality and theology. The flashpoints are the denomination’s bans on same-sex marriages and ordaining openly LGBTQ clergy — though many see these as symptoms of deeper differences in views on justice, theology and scriptural authority.

    The denomination has repeatedly upheld these bans at legislative General Conferences, but some U.S. churches and clergy have defied them. This spring, the Church’s conservative wing launched a new Global Methodist Church, where they are determined to maintain and enforce such bans.

    A proposal to amicably divide the denomination and its assets, unveiled in early 2020, has lost its once-broad support after years of pandemic-related delays to the legislative General Conference, whose vote was needed to ratify it. Now the breakup and the negotiations are happening piecemeal — one regional conference at a time.

    In annual regional gatherings across the U.S. earlier this year, United Methodists approved requests of about 300 congregations to quit the denomination, according to United Methodist News Service. Special meetings in the second half of the year are expected to vote on as many as 1,000 more, according to the conservative advocacy group Wesleyan Covenant Association.

    Those departing are still a fraction of the estimated 30,000 congregations in the United States alone, with nearly 13,000 more abroad, according to recent UMC statistics.

    The Louisiana disaffiliations will take effect after Dec. 31, church officials said. The Louisiana conference will also see a new bishop in the new year, Delores Williamston. She is the conference’s first Black female bishop.

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  • LGBTQ-friendly votes signal progressive shift for Methodists

    LGBTQ-friendly votes signal progressive shift for Methodists

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    The United Methodist Church moved toward becoming more progressive and LGBTQ-affirming during U.S. regional meetings this month that included the election of its second openly gay bishop. Conservatives say the developments will only accelerate their exit from one of the nation’s largest Protestant denominations.

    Each of the UMC’s five U.S. jurisdictions — meeting separately in early November — approved similarly worded measures aspiring to a future of church where “LGBTQIA+ people will be protected, affirmed, and empowered.”

    They also passed non-binding measures asking anyone to withdraw from leadership roles if they’re planning to leave the denomination soon — a category that almost entirely includes conservatives moving toward the exits.

    The denomination still officially bans same-sex marriage and the ordination of any “self-avowed, practicing homosexual,” and only a legislative gathering called the General Conference can change that.

    But this month’s votes show growing momentum — at least in the American half of the global church — to defy these policies and seek to reverse them at the next legislative gathering in 2024.

    Supporters and opponents of these measures drew from the same metaphor to say their church is either becoming more or less of a “big tent,” as the United Methodists have long been described as a theologically diverse, mainstream denomination.

    “It demonstrates that the big tent has collapsed,” said the Rev. Jay Therrell, president of the conservative Wesleyan Covenant Association, which has been helping churches that want to leave the denomination.

    “For years, bishops have told traditionalists that there is room for everyone in the United Methodist Church,” he said. “Not one single traditionalist bishop was elected. Moreover, we now have the most progressive or liberal council of bishops in the history of Methodism, period.”

    But Jan Lawrence, executive director of Reconciling Ministries Network, which works toward inclusion of Methodists of all sexual orientations and gender identities, applauded the regional jurisdictions. She cited their LGBTQ-affirming votes and their expansion of the racial, ethnic and gender diversity of bishops.

    Jurisdictions elected the church’s first Native American and Filipino American bishops, with other landmark votes within specific regions, according to United Methodist News Service.

    “It is a big tent church,” Lawrence said. “One of the concerns that some folks expressed is that we don’t have leadership in the church that reflects the diversity of the church. So this episcopal election doesn’t fix that, but it’s a step in the right direction.”

    Bishop Cedrick Bridgeforth, elected in the Western Jurisdiction meeting, agreed. He is the first openly gay African-American man to be elected bishop. The vote comes six years after the Western Jurisdiction elected the denomination’s first openly lesbian bishop, Karen Oliveto of the Mountain Sky Episcopal Area.

    The LGBTQ-affirming resolutions point “to the alignment of the denomination more with the mainstream of our country,” Bridgeforth said. “It can also help us begin to center our conversations where we have unity of purpose, rather than centering on divisions.”

    Bridgeforth will lead churches in the Greater Northwest Area, which includes churches in Alaska, Idaho, Oregon, Washington, and small parts of Montana and Canada. He said he has always worked across ideological lines in his administrative duties and would continue to do so.

    “I have used our differences as an opportunity for us to come together,” he said. “It creates more space for a different kind of conversation than, ‘That’s different, that’s bad, we can’t be together.’” If some churches under his jurisdiction do choose to leave the United Methodist Church, Bridgeforth said he would help them make that transition.

    “I would not want anybody to be where they don’t want to be,” he said.

    Progressive groups have said the church should be open to appointing bishops and other clergy, regardless of sexual orientation, who show they have the gifts for ministry and a commitment to serve the church.

    Conservatives, however, say the church needs to abide by its own rules.

    “I am sure Bishop Bridgeforth is a person of sacred worth, but he does not meet the qualifications to hold the office of elder, much less bishop, and should not have been elected,” Therrell said.

    At least 300 U.S. congregations have left the denomination this year, according to United Methodist News Service. Hundreds more are in the process of leaving, and Therrell predicted that number would be in the low thousands by the end of 2023. Overseas conferences in Bulgaria and Slovakia have ended their affiliation with the denomination, and churches in Africa are considering it, he said.

    Many are bound for the newly formed conservative denomination, the Global Methodist Church.

    The UMC is a worldwide denomination. American membership has declined to about 6.5 million, from a peak of 11 million in the 1960s. Overseas membership soared to match or exceed that of the U.S., fueled mostly by growth and mergers in Africa. Overseas delegates have historically allied with American conservatives to uphold the church’s stances on sexuality.

    Support for a compromise measure that would have amicably split the denomination, negotiated in 2020, fell apart after that year’s legislative General Conference was postponed three times due to the pandemic. The next General Conference is now scheduled to begin in April 2024 in Charlotte, North Carolina.

    A vote by a 2019 General Conference was the latest of several in recent decades that reinforced the church’s ban on gay clergy and marriage. But that vote also prompted many local conferences to elect more liberal and centrist delegates, whose influence was felt in this month’s regional votes.

    ———

    Associated Press religion coverage receives support through the AP’s collaboration with The Conversation US, with funding from Lilly Endowment Inc. The AP is solely responsible for this content.

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  • Relationship Expert Sharon Pope Releases Results of New Poll – Which Political Party Has Stronger Relationships

    Relationship Expert Sharon Pope Releases Results of New Poll – Which Political Party Has Stronger Relationships

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    Press Release


    Nov 8, 2022 16:00 EST

    Sharon Pope, Relationship Expert, polled 454 people to determine if one political party is having more sex in their marriages than another. The survey showed that Republicans are having sex more frequently in their marriages than either Democrats or Independents.

    33.51% of Republicans are having sex at least once a week or more, compared to 26.52% for Democrats and 29.69% for Independents. In contrast to that finding, Democrats stated that they haven’t had sex even once in the last month (31.82%), compared to Republicans and Independents (35.05% and 35.16% respectively).  

    “The amount of sex people are having has much more to do with the closeness between two people and how we engage with our life – than what we value or support in any specific political party. In my experience, the couples that are more relaxed both individually and with one another and able to have more fun together are those that have sex more frequently. While those couples that carry the worry and stress of life or kids or work or politics have a more difficult time connecting to one another on a consistent basis.” 

    Caring About Politics without Being Consumed by It

    Sex can be a barometer for the health of a marriage, and how we engage with the world around us can be a measure for how willing and able we are to connect with others, all of which impacts our most important and most intimate relationship.

    “Of course we should engage with and form opinions about the policies that impact our lives and the health of our world, but sometimes that can be a heavy weight to carry.”

    “Worry, fear and concern keeps us in our heads and emotionally shut down. From that place, we’re not open to connecting sexually (or otherwise) with one another.”

    “The key to being engaged with politics AND still being able to exist in a healthy, loving and connected marriage is to pay attention to politics, but not be consumed by it; to care about the outcomes but realize that you alone do not determine the outcomes.”

    “If you want to have more sex and feel more connected to your partner, don’t go looking for things to worry about over which you cannot control. Instead, do your part, research the candidates and issues, show-up and vote, and then look for ways to relax while spending quality time with your partner. You’ll know how it ends soon enough.” 

    About Sharon Pope

    Sharon Pope is a Master Life Coach, Relationship Expert and Seven-Time Best-Selling Author on Love and Relationships. She has helped thousands of women find the confidence and clarity they need to either fix the struggles in their relationship or move forward without regret. She’s been published numerous times, including in the Modern Love column in The New York Times.

    Source: Sharon Pope, LLC

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  • Miss Puerto Rico, Miss Argentina announce they are married

    Miss Puerto Rico, Miss Argentina announce they are married

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    HAVANA — Two former beauty queens, Fabiola Valentín of Puerto Rico and Mariana Valera of Argentina, announced this week that they had secretly married.

    The joint Instagram post spurred celebration in LGBTQ communities across Latin America, a region that has historically lagged on gay rights but has made small steps in recent years.

    “After deciding to keep our relationship private, we’re opening the doors on this special day, 28/10/22,” Valentín and Valera said in their announcement posted Sunday.

    The post includes a video montage of their relationship, including the two on vacations, at bars and on the beach at sunset. There is a view of gold and silver balloons reading “Marry me?” and the two together after the proposal.

    The video ends with Valentín and Valera dressed in white kissing outside the courthouse in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

    Once barred in the U.S. territory, same-sex marriage became legal in Puerto Rico in 2015 after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled such bans unconstitutional. In 2020, new codes came into place on the island adding additional LGBTQ protections.

    The two women met at the Miss Grand International competition in Thailand in 2020, where they represented their countries. They continued to post on social media together since.

    The marriage announcement was met with a swell of celebration on social media, which the couple responded to with enthusiam.

    “Thank you for all the love! We’re very happy and joyful,” wrote Valera. “I am sending you all back the love you are giving us.”

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  • A White House speechwriter on writing for Obama, Biden as Kool-Aid man and being a ‘full Swiftie’ | CNN Politics

    A White House speechwriter on writing for Obama, Biden as Kool-Aid man and being a ‘full Swiftie’ | CNN Politics

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    CNN
     — 

    The idea for Cody Keenan’s New York Times best-selling first book came from a viral tweet storm.

    It’s a genesis rich with irony for a man who rose to prominence as President Barack Obama’s chief speechwriter, toiling in a windowless West Wing office (the “speech cave,” as Obama’s wordsmiths called it) as he drafted tens of thousands of words for the 44th President.

    But the fact it took two years for Keenan to fully grasp the depth of meaning captured by the weight and stakes of a 10-day period that shaped the country underscores the reality of his job – really any job – in a White House.

    At the end of June 2015, Keenan and his team were responsible for drafting remarks on Supreme Court rulings that would eventually uphold the Affordable Care Act and establish the fundamental right to marry for same-sex couples – as well as remarks if the court had ruled differently on each case.

    That was all happening as Keenan grappled with his own personal struggle – and Obama’s – to find the words to come to terms with the nationwide horror resulting from the murder of nine Black Americans attending a Bible study at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina.

    Keenan is an engaging and almost charmingly self-deprecating Chicago native in person and has been traveling the country on a full-throttle book tour over the course of the last several weeks. But as I read the book on a recent Air Force One trip with President Joe Biden to the West Coast, I kept thinking of things I wanted to ask him that would expand on various elements of the book.

    Full disclosure, I was covering the White House during the time period the book focuses on for Bloomberg News and knew Keenan at the time. He is unflinchingly loyal to Obama, who he continued to work for in the four years after they left the White House. He is a true-blue Democrat, even if that’s more of a backdrop of his experience than a defining feature.

    But the reason I shot him a note asking to chat was to see if he’d dive a little deeper into his writing process – both in speechwriting and as an author – and into the rich portrait he paints of what it’s like to work in a White House at the most senior level.

    A few days after giving his daughter, Gracie, the experience of her first Northwestern University football tailgate – his alma mater lost to Wisconsin by five touchdowns, which Keenan admirably acknowledged was a valuable early life lesson – we connected as I sat a couple hundred feet away from the building that he called his office for eight years.

    CNN: Part of the reason I wanted to read the book is obvious – I was covering the White House at the time, it was a tsunami of history and news and I was kind of intrigued to see it from your end. But I think the more salient thing for me is that I’m fascinated by the process, just the insight into how anyone at a high level approaches their job – there’s so much you can learn. And there’s an extraordinary amount of detail in here on exactly that. But one thing I kept wondering throughout was, man, were you just taking copious notes like 24/7 while you were here?

    Keenan: I was not, I promise, because when we first joined the White House – this is gonna sound like a joke, but it’s not – they were very adamant that any notes you take, any journals you take belongs to the National Archives and not you. So, they actually cautioned us against keeping notes.

    But one of the lucky things is within the Oval Office, I would transcribe all of my conversations with the President on my laptop, because that’s how I wrote my speeches – I would ask, and prompt, and get him going.

    So, all of our conversations in the Oval are verbatim, just because I would type it down super-fast because I needed that material for speech writing. So, I did have those.

    But the rest of it is memory – there’s a mix of emails to myself. But there was no notebook or journal or anything like that.

    CNN: As you’ve talked to people since the book has been out, what are the elements that you hear … from people who don’t understand how this place works, that they’re most surprised about? Beyond the fact that you worked in a cave.

    Keenan: A lot of people been surprised by a few things. Number one, and this is gonna make you roll your eyes, but how much we all liked each other, which I think is really rare in any company, any business, let alone a White House. We were family – I mean literally, I met and married my wife (Kristen Bartoloni, the White House research director) there.

    But also, that it’s just a slog. And I wanted to convey the struggle to do good work. Because you don’t just ride into town and do everything you said you were gonna do. It is really, really difficult. And for the 2,922 days we were there, a good night was when you could go home just feeling like you’ve moved the ball forward a little bit. Because all of those inches eventually add up to a touchdown.

    You know, the Obamacare ruling, the marriage equality ruling – those were the result of not just years of our effort, but decades of other people’s effort. Democracy is hard. That’s what I wanted to convey.

    Also, there’s still people out there who aren’t convinced that Barack Obama was an active speechwriter. He was our chief speechwriter. He was involved in every speech – you know this from being there. Writing for him was very, very difficult just because he was so good at it and expected a lot from us. And we expected a lot of ourselves we tried to get in the first draft.

    CNN: I wanted to dig in on that, because you’re very candid about the kind of “imposter syndrome” that almost seemed pervasive. The reason it struck me is one, because I think I identify with it, and I think many rational people probably would. But two, in this town where everybody acts like they know everything and often know nothing at all, you don’t usually see it laid out in such a detailed manner.

    Did it come from who you were working for and his reputation as a writer and orator? Or is that just you generally?

    Keenan: It’s mostly working for him and never really believing I earned it.

    But we all felt that way, whatever our jobs were. None of us felt like we had earned the right to be there, or just deserve to be there. We all had impostor syndrome – and I think that’s a good thing. Because that is what constantly pushed us to do our best work and prove that we deserved to be there.

    And you know, maybe this is a little unfair because I don’t actually know any of the Trump people, but I never got the sense that they felt the same way. I always got the sense they felt like they were entitled to be there and deserved to be there. And I think as a result, the country didn’t get their best effort.

    CNN: You get into it a little bit, but the process of working underneath (Obama’s first chief speechwriter Jon Favreau) to being “the guy” – what was that like? How did you become the heir apparent?

    Keenan: The great thing about Favs was for all of his fame – and he became famous on the first campaign because Obama’s speeches were different, you know Favs was the wunderkind who dated actresses and was famous. But he never acted that way, he did not have an ego. Everyone wanted to be around him, but he was a patient and generous mentor who taught me almost everything I know about speechwriting.

    The way it just kind of unfolded was when we moved into the White House, I was the junior speechwriter on the team and so I made myself a workhorse. I did like four speeches a week and just worked my butt off.

    But I drafted the Tucson eulogy (for the victims of the 2011 shooting in the attack on Rep. Gabrielle Giffords), and (White House press secretary Robert) Gibbs outed me on the plane to everybody without my knowledge. We were flying back from the eulogy and some of the press corps asked, “Who helped the President with those?” And Gibbs said it’s Cody Keenan, and then he took the … step of spelling out my name to the press corps.

    I still don’t know who asked, but obviously there’s a lot of Northwestern grads in the press corps and one of them said “proud Northwestern Wildcat.” We got back to (Joint Base) Andrews at like 2 a.m. or 3 a.m. or something, and I just slept in. I slept in till like 10 before going back to work. And I woke up to 300 emails and a bunch of missed calls. And that’s a little unusual.

    And Savannah Guthrie was calling and trying to get me on the show and I was just like “what the f— is happening?” I didn’t know at that point that Gibbs had done that and that was weird.

    Losing your anonymity is a little uncomfortable. And there were reporters calling my parents and my sister and I don’t blame them because you guys are just – the way this system works is you guys are desperate for news. But that was a little a little scary to lose your anonymity like that.

    But shortly after that, Favs named me his deputy and I moved over (from the Eisenhower Executive Office Building) to the West Wing into an office with him. That’s when I got to start working with Obama more closely. It was a flight back from LA, Favs was with him on Air Force One and he said, “Look, I’ve been with you for eight years now and I think it’s time for me to move on.”

    And Obama asked him, “Do you have anybody in mind to replace you?” And he said, “Yeah, I think it’s Cody.” Then Obama said, “I think that’s right.” It was as simple as that, but still, when he told me that when he got home, I was like, “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

    CNN: How did that change the dynamic of your relationship with the President?

    Keenan: It’s hard to be speechwriter for somebody if you don’t spend a lot of time with them. And just the way the White House works, junior speechwriters didn’t get to spend a lot of time with him. Favs was good about making sure we got to if there was a big speech, but from then on, I was with Obama almost every single day. That’s really the best way to get into his head and be able to understand not just what he wants to say, but why. And that changed everything. I got email privileges to email him, I got walk-in privileges to the Oval and that just kind of vaulted me up the ranks, not just in title, but also as a better speechwriter for him.

    CNN: You reference “the muse” in the book – the moments when the President fully engaged on a speech you’d drafted and really elevated something in his own voice. Was that a crutch as a writer? Could you count on that if you were stuck or was that a risk you couldn’t take?

    Keenan: It was a risk and it always made me nervous when he’d say – and he didn’t say it often – but sometimes he’d say, you know, “We’ll see if the muse strikes.” And we were just like “Oh, no.” And sometimes it didn’t. But when it did, it would hit in a big way.

    Like Charleston, you know, I’m very clear about this in the book, he just kind of tore up the back half figuratively. And fortunately, the muse hit really hard. The speech that I’d spent three days agonizing over, he re-wrote in three hours and that came from a mixture of things. The muse hit for him, it was what those families did, forgiving the killer. It was his correspondence with his pen pal, Marilynne Robinson, who I didn’t know existed. And it was the fact that the Supreme Court has ruled on marriage by morning and it just kind of gave him this open heart.

    But, man, there were times when I would turn in a draft and be like, God, I hope he can make this better.

    CNN: When he struck out the last two pages of the Charleston draft, I think you wrote that he just put a giant X through the pages – honestly, if an editor did that to me, I’d be ready to fight them. How do you react to that and not want to lose your mind?

    Keenan: I wasn’t ready to fight him because I knew he was right. And I knew when I turned it in, and I told him as much, that I just could not get it there. And it was his idea to use the lyrics to “Amazing Grace” not just to sing, but to build the structure to the back half of the speech.

    And again, it just sounds like Kool-Aid drinking, but this is the kind of boss he was he could have just given it back to me and said, you know, you need to do better. Or even worse, you could have just excised me from the equation. He could have given them back to Denis (McDonough, the chief of staff) or Valerie (Jarrett, Obama’s closest adviser), and just said, “give this to Cody” and not talked to me at all. But the fact that he brought me in, walked me through them and told me, made me feel better and said, “Listen, we’re collaborators. You gave me what I needed to work with here.”

    I mean, just to take the little bit of time to do that makes all the difference in the world. It’s the difference between a speechwriter who loses his self-confidence forever, or one who just remains determined to keep doing better.

    CNN: Which I don’t think is necessarily the norm in terms of bosses in DC – which I guess I always had a sense of because you guys are all still so loyal to him, but this was one of the better anecdotal demonstrations of it that I’d read.

    Keenan: Yeah. It’s very rare in politics, but I think anywhere to have a boss like that. It’s just really special and makes a big difference to your team. We just had a wedding a couple of weeks ago, where two staffers got married to each other – Joe Paulson and Samantha Tubman – and Obama was there. You know, the fact that he flew across country just to attend their wedding is just to show you what kind of guy he is.

    CNN: But was there ever a time you – look, you say it didn’t bother you when he would cross out two pages or have three pages of handwritten notes because you knew he was right – but was there ever a time when you thought he was wrong?

    Keenan: It was pretty rare. But there were a couple of times, and he valued us pushing back on him. He liked it. He disdains groupthink. And it would really drive him nuts if everyone in the Oval would almost kind of nod and say I agree. I agree. Agree. He would find the person who didn’t, and he wanted to hear what that person had to say, and it didn’t necessarily mean he changed his mind, but sometimes he did.

    CNN: When did you actually know you want to write this book?

    Keenan: It’s interesting, not at the time. You know, you’re not thinking as you go through, OK, this is day six, you’re just living it with everybody else.

    And it really coalesced for me on the second anniversary of day 10 of the book, which is marriage equality and Amazing Grace and the White House lit up like a rainbow. Trump had done something that morning, who remembers what at this point. He was just pissing everybody off with an 8 a.m. tweet, and I realized it was the second anniversary of those 10 days, so I did like a mini tweet storm to kind of remind people about what happened in those 10 days … and what we were capable of and it just kind of took off.

    It was really like my first viral tweet and Esquire magazine wrote it up and that was the first time I thought that there’s a story here. I was still working for him. I worked for him for four more years and it didn’t feel right to write a book while he was paying me, so I didn’t start writing till 2021. But I started thinking about it in 2017.

    CNN: Were you pinging ideas off him at all or sending him drafts throughout? Or did you wait until it was done to show it to him?

    Keenan: I did. I told him all about it as I was thinking it through while I was still working for him. Then I left on New Year’s Eve 2020. And my wife got pregnant shortly after. Then the pandemic hit so everything kinda got put on hold. But I sent him a really early draft back in March and I took some risks. I knew that if there’s a book about him, it’s likely he’s going to read it quickly. And he got back to me within about four days.

    If you think that waiting for him to get his feedback on a speech draft is agonizing, try sending him your book. But he sent back nicer praise than he had ever sent me on speech. And he offered one edit for the book, just one, that actually really did make it better, because he just can’t help himself.

    But it was a relief to kind of get his stamp of approval, especially on the parts that I tried to be really honest about, which is what it was like to be a White speech writer writing for the first Black president I really wanted to make sure I didn’t get that wrong. And fortunately, to hear him say, “this is dead on,” was a nice thing.

    Keenan is seen on

    CNN: I was struck by that specific issue when I was reading. You’re very candid about your efforts to grapple with writing about race – particularly for the first Black president – as a White guy from the North Side of Chicago. It’s really the backdrop of the way you thread together the process of writing the Charleston speech. Was there ever a moment where you’ve felt comfortable with that dynamic, or you felt like you understood his perspective and voice so well that you weren’t going to have to grapple with that reality?

    Keenan: I think it’s related to imposter syndrome. And a lot of that actually became clear, too, after George Floyd, where we all tried to get better. And you can view yourself as being on the right side of these issues, but how do you really know if you’re actually doing injustice?

    To be a speechwriter you have to be able to write for anybody and it requires a sense of empathy and to be well read. But what does a White kid from the north side of Chicago really know about inhabiting the life of a Black man in America? There just – there are limits to the imagination. And so that’s why we’re trying to grab him before those bigger speeches and be like, “Help me with the story I’m trying to tell. Am I right? Is my take right on this or is my life experience getting in the way?”

    It helped that he was really our chief speechwriter, but he would also talk us through it and made sure that we were approaching these issues from the way he wanted us to approach them.

    CNN: Just a couple more before I have to jog over to Pebble Beach (on the White House North Lawn) and be on TV and you probably have another dozen events for your best-seller. Do you feel like you got better as a writer as the years went on?

    Keenan: Yes. You know, I look at my early stuff and I cringe. I still go back and edit some of our biggest speeches – that never goes away. I go back and edit my book, but I absolutely got better and that’s just a result of being around Jon Favreau, being around Barack Obama, being around my entire team – Ben Rhodes, Adam Frankel, Sarada (Peri) – everybody made me a better speechwriter. I’m very honest in the book, and I’m not just trying to be self-deprecating for self-deprecating’s sake. This was a hard, hard job. But I knew that by the end I was really good at it. That just doesn’t mean that you think you’re better than Barack Obama at this – you know you’re not. So, that’s what kind of always kept me on my toes and that’s why I stuck around for eight years.

    CNN: You don’t mention the current president a ton in the book, but you do mention his decision to get out in front of (President Obama) on gay marriage and I believe the reference was he was kind of like Kool-Aid man busting through the wall to announce his view – I think I remember that correctly.

    Keenan: *laughter*

    CNN: But unlike some in the administration – at least at the time – who weren’t pleased at all, you describe it in a way that seems to convey you found it somewhat endearing. And the context very much reflects of how his close friends/advisers describe how he operates – he’d had a personal experience a couple of weeks prior and just answered the question with what he was thinking.

    In that sense, how did you view him inside the White House when you were there, and how do you view him now?

    Keenan: The marriage equality thing was just Joe being Joe. I never saw – I was never like really in intense national security meetings with Biden and Obama. But I never saw Joe Biden to be calculating. He just does what he thinks is right. The people that need him are really what move him. There’s no way that Joe Biden sat there and calculated, “I’m going to come out before the President on this.” He was just with gay people and their kids and was like, “you know what, this is the right thing to do.” And as probably the highest, probably the highest-ranking Catholic in America, at least in politics, that makes a big difference. So, I love Joe Biden. He just governs with his heart, which I think is a great place for a politician to be.

    CNN: You also briefly mention Biden’s current (director of speechwriting) Vinay (Reddy) – you wrote he sent a thoughtful note to you before the Charleston speech. I’ve always had the sense that you have a similar approach to what Obama wanted, which is you’re just going to keep your distance from the folks that are in now because you dealt with plenty of people who thought they knew the best way to do things when you were there. Is that fair?

    Keenan: Absolutely. It drove me nuts whenever I saw pundits on TV saying look, here’s what Obama needs to say, here’s what Obama needs to say. We’ll figure that out. The last thing Vinay needs from me is me being out there saying, “Here’s what Joe Biden needs to say.” He knows. To be a speechwriter, it is hard to find the words sometimes, it is hard to juggle competing audiences and competing interests. Whenever Vinay has asked me for help, I have offered it, but otherwise I’m not going to jump in there.

    CNN: Last one, probably the most dangerous one: Do you feel like your reputation was bolstered or undercut by the admission that you listened to Taylor Swift’s “1989” on repeat while drafting the 2015 State of the Union address?

    Keenan: I have met people on tour who have proven it has bolstered (my reputation). I’m a full Swiftie-man now. My daughter was born to “Folklore.” That’s the album Kristen wanted playing when she was in labor. And you know what, her song “The One” puts Gracie to sleep instantly, so I will always be grateful to Taylor Swift.

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  • Same-sex marriage is now legal in all of Mexico’s states

    Same-sex marriage is now legal in all of Mexico’s states

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    MEXICO CITY — Lawmakers in the border state of Tamaulipas voted Wednesday night to legalize same-sex marriages, becoming the last of Mexico’s 32 states to authorize such unions.

    The measure to amend the state’s Civil Code passed with 23 votes in favor, 12 against and two abstentions, setting off cheers of “Yes, we can!” from supporters of the change.

    The session took place as groups both for and against the measure chanted and shouted from the balcony, and legislators eventually moved to another room to finish their debate and vote.

    The president of the Supreme Court of Justice of the Nation, Arturo Zaldívar, welcomed the vote. “The whole country shines with a huge rainbow. Live the dignity and rights of all people. Love is love,” he said on Twitter.

    A day earlier, lawmakers in the southern state of Guerrero approved similar legislation allowing same-sex marriages.

    In 2015, the Supreme Court declared state laws preventing same-sex marriage unconstitutional, but some states took several years to adopt laws conforming with the ruling.

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  • Democrats predict an ‘extremely busy’ lame duck. Here’s what’s on the agenda | CNN Politics

    Democrats predict an ‘extremely busy’ lame duck. Here’s what’s on the agenda | CNN Politics

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    CNN
     — 

    A packed legislative to-do list awaits Congress when it returns to session after the midterms – and Democrats, who currently control both chambers, will face a ticking clock to enact key priorities if Republicans win back the House or manage to flip the Senate in the upcoming elections.

    Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer has predicted an “extremely busy” lame duck session – the period of time after the midterms and before a new Congress begins in January.

    “We still have much to do and many important bills to consider,” Schumer said in remarks on the Senate floor at the end of September. “Members should be prepared for an extremely, underline extremely, busy agenda in the last two months of this Congress.”

    The jam-packed agenda for the lame-duck session includes: Funding the government to avert a shutdown before the end of the calendar year, passage of the National Defense Authorization Act, or NDAA, the annual must-pass legislation that sets the policy agenda and authorizes funding for the Department of Defense, as well as a vote in the Senate to protect same-sex marriage and the potential consideration of other key pieces of legislation.

    Democrats are still limited in what they can achieve, however, given their narrow majorities in both chambers. With a 50-50 partisan split in the Senate, Democrats lack the votes to overcome the filibuster’s 60-vote threshold – and do not have the votes to abolish the filibuster. As a result, major priorities for liberal voters – like the passage of legislation protecting access to abortion after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade – will still remain out of reach for the party for the foreseeable future.

    Government funding is the most pressing priority that lawmakers will confront during the lame duck. The current deadline for the expiration of funding is December 16 after the House and Senate passed an extension to avert a shutdown at the end of September.

    Since the funding bill is viewed as must-pass legislation it will likely become a magnet for other priorities that lawmakers may try to tack on to ride along with it. It’s possible that further aid for Ukraine could come up as Ukraine continues to counter Russia’s invasion of the country. While that funding has bipartisan support, some conservatives are balking at the pricey contributions to Ukraine and may scrutinize more closely additional requests from the administration, a dynamic that is dividing Republicans on this key issue.

    Democrats also want more funding for pandemic response, but Republicans have pushed back on that request.

    One issue that may come up during the government funding effort is money for the Department of Justice investigation into the January 6, 2021, attack on the Capitol.

    A House Democratic aide told CNN that final fiscal year 2023 funding levels have yet to be determined. Justice Department needs and resources are part of this ongoing conversation, but under the leadership of Rep. Matt Cartwright, chairman of the House Appropriations subcommittee on commerce, justice, science, and related agencies, the House bill included $34 million that would allow DOJ to fund these prosecutions without reducing their efforts in other areas.

    House Appropriations Committee Chairwoman Rosa DeLauro told CNN in a statement, “I look forward to working with my colleagues on the House and Senate appropriations committees and passing a final 2023 spending package by the December 16th deadline.”

    Meanwhile, the Senate has begun work on the NDAA, and is expected to pass the massive piece of legislation during the lame duck. Consideration of the wide-ranging bill could spark debate and a push for amendments over a variety of topics.

    Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley of Iowa has called for punishing OPEC for its production cut by passing legislation that would hold foreign oil producers accountable for colluding to fix prices – and the senator has said he believes the measure can pass as an amendment to the NDAA. The legislation would clear the way for the Justice Department to sue Saudi Arabia and other OPEC nations for antitrust violations.

    Senate Democrats will also continue confirming judges to the federal bench nominated by President Joe Biden, a key priority for the party.

    A Senate vote to protect same-sex marriage is also on tap for the lame-duck session. In mid-September, the chamber punted on a vote until after the November midterm elections as negotiators asked for more time to lock down support – a move that could make it more likely the bill will ultimately pass the chamber.

    The bipartisan group of senators working on the bill said in a statement at the time, “We’ve asked Leader Schumer for additional time and we appreciate he has agreed. We are confident that when our legislation comes to the Senate floor for a vote, we will have the bipartisan support to pass the bill.” The bill would need at least 10 Republican votes to overcome a filibuster.

    Schumer has vowed to hold a vote on the bill, but the exact timing has not yet been locked in. Democrats have pushed for the vote after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, sparking fears that the court could take aim at same-sex marriage in the future.

    The Senate could take up legislation during the lame duck in response to the January 6, 2021, attack by a mob of pro-Trump supporters attempting to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election.

    Over the summer, a bipartisan group of senators reached a deal to make it harder to overturn a certified presidential election. The proposal would still need, however, to be approved by both chambers. Notably, the Senate proposal has the backing of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, a Kentucky Republican.

    “I strongly support the modest changes that our colleagues in the working group have fleshed out after literally months of detailed discussions,” McConnell said at the end of September. “I’ll proudly support the legislation, provided that nothing more than technical changes are made to its current form.”

    If the bill passes the Senate, it would also need to clear the House, which in September, passed its own version of legislation to make it harder to overturn a certified presidential election in the future by proposing changes to the Electoral Count Act.

    Passing a bill to to restrict lawmakers from trading stocks is a priority for a number of moderate House Democrats – who may continue to push for the issue to be taken up during the lame duck, though whether there will be a vote is still to be determined and other pressing must-pass items like government funding could crowd out the issue. The House did not vote on a proposal prior to the midterm elections.

    “It’s a complicated issue, as you can imagine, as a new rule for members they have to follow, and their families as I understand, so I think it deserves careful study to make sure if we do something, we do it right,” House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer told CNN last month.

    Meanwhile, it’s not yet clear when exactly the nation will run up against the debt limit and it appears unlikely for now that Congress will act to resolve the issue during the lame-duck session, especially as other must-pass bills compete for floor time. But political battle lines are already being drawn and maneuvering is underway in Washington over the contentious and high-stakes issue.

    A group of House Democrats recently sent a letter to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Schumer calling for legislation to “permanently undo the threat posed by the debt limit” during the post-election lame-duck session. The letter, led by Pennsylvania Rep. Brendan Boyle, was signed by several prominent House Democrats, including Caucus Chair Hakeem Jeffries of New York.

    Biden on Friday gave a window into how he’s preparing for a looming political showdown over the debt ceiling, stating unequivocally that he will not relent to Republican lawmakers threatening to send the nation into default if he doesn’t meet their demands, but adding that he doesn’t support efforts from within his own party to abolish the debt limit entirely.

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  • United Methodists are breaking up in a slow-motion schism

    United Methodists are breaking up in a slow-motion schism

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    United Methodists have for generations been a mainstay of the American religious landscape — one of the most geographically widespread of the major Protestant denominations, their steeples visible on urban streets, in county seats and along country roads, their ethos marked by a firm yet quiet faith, simple worship and earnest social service.

    But the United Methodist Church is also the latest of several mainline Protestant denominations in America to begin fracturing, just as Episcopal, Lutheran and Presbyterian denominations lost significant minorities of churches and members this century amid debates over sexuality and theology.

    In annual regional gatherings across the U.S. earlier this year, United Methodists approved requests of about 300 congregations to quit the denomination, according to United Methodist News Service. Special meetings in the second half of the year are expected to vote on as many as 1,000 more, according to the conservative advocacy group Wesleyan Covenant Association.

    Scores of churches in Georgia, and hundreds in Texas, are considering disaffiliation. Some aren’t waiting for permission to leave: More than 100 congregations in Florida and North Carolina have filed or threatened lawsuits to break out.

    Those departing are still a fraction of the estimated 30,000 congregations in the United States alone, with nearly 13,000 more abroad, according to recent UMC statistics.

    But large United Methodist congregations are moving to the exits, including some of the largest in Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Oklahoma and Texas.

    The flashpoints are the denomination’s bans on same-sex marriages and ordaining openly LGBTQ clergy — though many see these as symptoms for deeper differences in views on justice, theology and scriptural authority. The denomination has repeatedly upheld these bans at legislative General Conferences, but some U.S. churches and clergy have defied them.

    This spring, conservatives launched a new Global Methodist Church, where they are determined both to maintain and to enforce such bans.

    A proposal to amicably divide the denomination and its assets, unveiled in early 2020, has lost its once-broad support after years of pandemic-related delays to the legislative General Conference, whose vote was needed to ratify it.

    Now the breakup and the negotiations are happening piecemeal — one regional conference at a time.

    New York Bishop Thomas Bickerton, president of the Council of Bishops, issued a statement in August denouncing “a constant barrage of negative rhetoric that is filled with falsehood and inaccuracies” by breakaway groups. In particular, he disputed allegations that the church is changing core doctrines.

    But he said the denomination seeks to find a balance between encouraging churches to stay yet enabling them to go.

    “It’s a both/and,” Bickerton said in an interview. “We want people to know straight up front that we don’t want them to leave. We need traditionalists, we need centrists, we need progressives willing to engage in a healthy debate to discern what God’s will is.”

    But more departures are expected next year.

    In just the Western Pennsylvania Annual Conference, about 300 of its 800 churches have begun inquiring about the process of leaving by the end of 2023, according to the Wesleyan Covenant Association. Not all may follow through, but some see it as inevitable.

    “We feel like to stay the same in our mission and theology, we need to change denominations,” said the Rev. Steve Cordle, lead pastor of Crossroads Church. Based in Oakdale, Pennsylvania, it’s one of the largest congregations in the conference. It’s considering going independent or joining the Global Methodist Church.

    A few miles away in Bethel Park, another Pittsburgh suburb, Christ United Methodist Church remains committed to the denomination.

    The Rev. Chris Morgan said his church has a “big tent” of liberals and conservatives with most congregants “leaning in toward the center.” The church recently hosted an educational series on hot topics including the schism, guns, abortion and COVID-19.

    “Instead of becoming like society, we’re trying to become an example of what it looks like to disagree and still treat people with respect and care and love,” Morgan said.

    He was far from the only one to see a parallel between the Methodist debates and broader societal polarization.

    “We live in a world of division. Just look at our political front,” said Bishop David Graves, who oversees the South Georgia and Alabama-West Florida conferences. Both conferences have dozens of congregations moving to the exits, though the large majority are staying so far.

    Graves said he wants to help enable churches to leave if they want to but has spent long hours urging them to consider all the factors and be sure it is God’s will.

    “It’s very taxing,” he said. “Those are intense meetings.”

    Conservatives say denominational leaders are making it difficult for those who want to leave to do so, however.

    Currently churches may leave after paying two years’ worth of “apportionments” — essentially denominational dues — plus their share of unfunded pension liabilities. Conferences may also impose additional requirements, and some are asking for a percentage of the property value of church buildings.

    “In many cases, (the requirements) are onerous, they are punitive,” said the Rev. Jay Therrell, president of the Wesleyan Covenant Association, a conservative advocacy group that is working to help churches jump to the Global Methodist Church.

    Bishop Karen Oliveto of the UMC’s Mountain Sky region — who in 2016 became the UMC’s first openly lesbian bishop — said via email it is “extremely wounding to LGBTQ persons that our very personhood is being used as a wedge to disrupt unity in the church.” She expressed hope that UMC churches “will be safe places for all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.”

    Conservatives have lamented that UMC has failed to enforce its Book of Discipline on standards for ordination and marriage.

    Oliveto said, however, that sometimes “the Holy Spirit runs ahead of us and gives us a glimpse of the future to which we are called. This is certainly the case across the denomination, where LGBTQ persons have been examined at every step of the ordination process and found to possess the gifts and graces for ordained ministry.”

    United Methodists are part of a global movement that traces their origins to the 18th-century English revivalist John Wesley, who emphasized personal piety, evangelism and social service.

    American membership has declined to about 6.5 million, from a peak of 11 million in the 1960s. Overseas membership soared to match or exceed that of the U.S., fueled mostly by growth and mergers in Africa.

    It’s too early to say if there will be widespread departures from international churches. African churches, for instance, often combine conservative stances on sexual issues with progressive views on the economy and colonialism’s legacy.

    Several African bishops issued a statement denouncing conservative advocacy groups, including one called the Africa Initiative, for collaborating to “destroy our United Methodist Church.”

    The Africa Initiative replied that it respected the bishops but would continue its efforts “to see biblical Christianity taught, lived and sustained.”

    Neal Christie of the Love Your Neighbor Coalition, a partnership of progressive and ethnically based Methodist advocacy groups, said the “notion that outside the United States there’s one monolithic voice is a caricature.”

    The coalition is promoting a more decentralized church where regions could make their own decisions on issues such as LGBTQ inclusion based on their cultural contexts.

    “We believe this is a big tent church, that the church is big enough for all,” he said.

    But after decades of controversy, some are done.

    “The traditionalists decided this is like a toxic relationship now, and we’re just harming each other,” said the Rev. Laura Saffell, chairperson of the Western Pennsylvania chapter of the Wesleyan Covenant Association. “The best we can do is bless and send” each other their separate ways.

    ———

    Associated Press religion coverage receives support through the AP’s collaboration with The Conversation US, with funding from Lilly Endowment Inc. The AP is solely responsible for this content.

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  • Weird Facts

    Weird Facts

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    Before marrying his cousin Emma Wedgwood, Charles Darwin carefully considered the pros and cons. The pros won out; they were married from 1839 until his death in 1882 and had ten children.

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  • Sex, Relationships, and Divorce During COVID-19: New Report Highlights Pandemic Effects on Relationships

    Sex, Relationships, and Divorce During COVID-19: New Report Highlights Pandemic Effects on Relationships

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    How did the pandemic really affect love and relationships? After an exhaustive search of online studies and survey data, Love Connection’s new report provides unique insights.

    Press Release



    updated: Apr 27, 2021

    Love Connection has compiled statistics from multiple sources to find out how coronavirus has affected love and relationships. The report covers dating, sex, and divorce, with a focus on how the pandemic has affected relationships across the board. 

    “Recognizing the impact the pandemic has had on relationships isn’t straightforward but, by compiling the statistics, we’ve created an overview of the strain and benefits put on couples and singles during COVID-19,” says Tina Fey, founder of Love Connection. 

    Statistics gathered from dating apps, law firms, and numerous studies show that during the pandemic:

    • 50% of people reported a decline in their sex life 
    • 27% of participants felt a decrease in relationship satisfaction
    • 46% of people involved in the study didn’t notice a difference in their relationship
    • Divorce applications rose from 40% to 45% in the U.S. 
    • The online dating industry grew roughly 13% during 2020
    • 45% of people have stopped dating altogether during the pandemic

    In addition, research indicates that 20% of new marriages (under five months or less) struggled to survive during the pandemic, highlighting how the significant changes during the last year have pressured newlyweds to divorce.

    “These surveys and statistics can help us understand how dating and relationships evolve, especially under the pressure of a worldwide pandemic,” says Fey. “It’s essential to know where vulnerabilities lie within the dating and relationship world so we can continue encouraging and fostering healthier relationships.”

    View the report here, including the accompanying infographic – https://loveconnection.org/love-and-relationships-during-covid/.

    About Love Connection

    Love Connection is a platform dedicated to keeping its readers informed on love, relationships, and cultivating meaningful connections. Its goal is to help readers make informed choices about love whilst also being able to recognize unhealthy behaviors which lead to unhappy relationships. 

    For more information, please get in touch with Tina Fey at info@loveconnection.org.

    Source: Love Connection

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  • Judge who suspended abortion pill failed to disclose interviews that discussed social issues | CNN Politics

    Judge who suspended abortion pill failed to disclose interviews that discussed social issues | CNN Politics

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    CNN
     — 

    The federal district judge who first suspended the US Food and Drug Administration’s approval of the so-called abortion pill mifepristone failed to disclose during his Senate confirmation process two interviews on Christian talk radio where he discussed social issues such as contraception and gay rights.

    In undisclosed radio interviews, Matthew Kacsmaryk referred to being gay as “a lifestyle” and expressed concerns that new norms for “people who experience same-sex attraction” would lead to clashes with religious institutions, calling it the latest in a change in sexual norms that began with “no-fault divorce” and “permissive policies on contraception.”

    Kacsmaryk, a Trump-appointed federal district judge, made the unreported comments in two appearances in 2014 on Chosen Generation, a radio show that offers “a biblical constitutional worldview.” At the time, Kacsmaryk was deputy general counsel at First Liberty Institute, a nonprofit religious liberty advocacy group known before 2016 as the Liberty Institute, and was brought on to the radio show to discuss “the homosexual agenda” to silence churches and religious liberty, according to the show’s host.

    Federal judicial nominees are required to submit detailed paperwork to the Senate Judiciary Committee ahead of their confirmation process, including copies of nearly everything they have ever written or said in public, in order for the committee to evaluate a nominee’s qualifications and personal opinions. Neither interview is listed in the paperwork Kacsmaryk provided to the Senate during his judicial nomination process, which first began in 2017.

    The radio interviews were not included in the 22 media works Kacsmaryk disclosed, which included three radio appearances and 19 written pieces.

    A spokesperson for Democratic Sen. Dick Durbin, the chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee, told CNN the interviews weren’t in their archived files from Kacsmaryk’s confirmation, which included all paperwork submitted for his nomination.

    In a statement sent to CNN, Kacsmaryk said he did not locate the interview when searching for media to disclose and he did not recall the interview.

    “I used the DOJ-OLP manual to run searches for all media but did not locate this interview and did not recall this event, which involved a call-in to a local radio show,” he told CNN. “After listening to the audio file supplied by CNN, I agree that the content is equivalent to the legal analysis appearing throughout my SJQ and discussed extensively during my Senate confirmation hearing. Additionally, the transcript supplied by CNN appears to track with the audio and accurately recounts my responses during the phone call—when quoted in full.”

    The Washington Post reported last week that Kacsmaryk removed his name in 2017 from a pending law review article criticizing protections for transgender people and those seeking abortions during his judicial nomination process, a highly unusual move for a judicial nominee.

    Kacsmaryk did not respond to the Post’s request for comment, but a spokesperson for his old employer First Liberty claimed Kacsmaryk’s name had been a “placeholder” on the article and that Kacsmaryk had not provided a “substantive contribution,” despite the final version being almost identical to the one submitted under Kacsmaryk’s name according to the Post.

    Kacsmaryk later submitted supplemental material in 2019 to the committee to reflect interviews and events he participated since in 2017, but neither of the 2014 radio interviews were included.

    Democratic senators grilled Kacsmaryk on his positions on abortion and LGBTQ rights during both his nomination hearing and in written questions in 2017.

    While Kacsmaryk worked at First Liberty, one of his colleagues, general counsel Jeff Mateer, was also nominated for a federal judgeship. But Mateer came under scrutiny in 2017 for comments unearthed during his confirmation process in which he once compared the US to Nazi Germany on Chosen Generation – the same radio program Kacsmaryk appeared on and whose interviews he did not disclose.

    Mateer’s nomination was later rescinded; Kacsmaryk was later confirmed in 2019.

    The interviews were shared by Kacsmaryk’s employer, the Liberty Institute, at the time on social media. A guest from First Liberty appeared once a week, according to the show’s radio host in the broadcast and archives available online.

    In one interview from February 2014, in response to a question on the “homosexual agenda,” Kacsmaryk expressed concerns that new social norms surrounding “same-sex marriage” and “people who experience same-sex attraction” would lead to clashes with religious institutions.

    “I just want to make very clear, people who experience a same-sex attraction are not responsible individually or solely for the atmosphere of the sexual revolution,” Kacsmaryk said. “You know it. It’s a long time coming. It came after no-fault divorce. It came after we implemented very permissive policies on contraception. The sexual revolution has gone through several phases. We just happen to be at the phase now where same sex marriages is at the fore.”

    “But through that progression or regression, I think you can see five areas where there will be a clash of absolutes between the traditional Judeo-Christian understanding of marriage and the revisionist, redefined vision of marriage that you saw in last term’s Supreme Court opinions,” he said before outlining those areas as over tax exempt statuses, adoption services, federal government programs, and discrimination at universities.

    He appeared on the program to discuss the federal government’s view of same-sex marriage and opponents of it following the court ruling striking down the Defense of Marriage Act. The host suggested opponents of same-sex marriage could be viewed as “hostile” enemies of the government in line with al-Qaeda, which Kacsmaryk agreed with.

    “Yeah, and I can speak from immediate firsthand experience,” he said, citing his work formerly in the Justice Department. “That is very much in vogue now in the federal government to characterize opposition to same sex marriage and related issues as irrational prejudice at best and a potential hate crime at worse,” he continued.

    “It really has infused the entire federal service top to bottom as the administration has declared that they will join this culture war, that there’s one side that is destined to win and that you’re on the wrong side of history in the federal government if you are on an opposing side,” he added.

    Kacsmaryk also appeared on the program in July 2014 to discuss an executive order signed by then-President Barack Obama that banned federal contractors from discriminating against employees on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity which did not exempt faith-based groups.

    Kacsmaryk linked changes in Democrats’ views on the issue of religious freedom to the “emergence of this very powerful constituency in the LGBT community,” which he said the Obama administration made campaign promises to fulfill. Kacsmaryk said religious organizations entering into contracts with the federal government would have risk under the executive order and face a “real burden” for dissenting from “the new sexual orthodoxy” on gay rights.

    The new rules, Kacsmaryk suggested, were poorly written and didn’t differentiate between gay people who lived “celibate” lives and those who made being gay “a lifestyle,” in a discussion of how religious groups would comply with the new rules.

    “If you look at the letter that was issued by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, they point out that the category sexual orientation is problematic because it’s not defined,” he said. “Most Abrahamic faith traditions will draw a distinction between someone who experiences the same sex attraction but is willing to live celibate and somebody who experiences the same sex attraction and makes it a lifestyle and seeks to sexualize that lifestyle. Those are two different categories that most Abrahamic faith traditions recognize.”

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  • Relationship Expert Daphna Levy Claims Couples Can Reclaim Their Happily Ever After, Releases New Book Valentine’s Day

    Relationship Expert Daphna Levy Claims Couples Can Reclaim Their Happily Ever After, Releases New Book Valentine’s Day

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    Press Release



    updated: Feb 6, 2019

    While high-profile divorces make headlines, relationship expert and bestselling author Daphna Levy launches her next book, The Secrets of Happily Ever After, out Valentine’s Day 2019. A bold move in today’s world where, in the United States alone, there is one divorce approximately every 36 seconds. That’s nearly 2,400 divorces per day, 16,800 divorces per week and 876,000 divorces a year.

    But Levy is undaunted. Having gone through a sudden and shocking marital breakup of her own in her twenties, she, at last, found her own “happily ever after” with her now-husband of thirty-two years. Furthermore, for the past three decades she has been consulting individuals, couples and families in her practice, now with offices in two Southern California cities, Pasadena and Bakersfield. “I have saved marriages and kept families together,” says Levy. “I give my clients practical tools to fix their relationship and build a strong, lasting bond. And I get results.”

    Levy’s client testimonials speak for themselves. Says Karina, mother of two, We came to Daphna as our last resort. She gave us the tools we desperately needed to open our communication and save our relationship. We’ve learned to listen and understand each other. We no longer have explosive fights. We have discussions.”

    One couple, married for 40 years, had this to say following a series of consultations with Levy: “We were able to get back to where we were forty years ago (sweethearts).”

    The effects of Levy’s “tools” appear to spread to extended families, as in this testimonial by Liz: “These tools not only helped me with my marriage, but in my relationship with my children as well.”

    The Secrets of Happily Ever After promises to reveal the secrets of good communication and how to prevent arguments and fights; methods to help you return to “the way you were” when you first met; as well as ways to overcome personality differences and find harmony in spite of them. It promises to show couples how to defeat “the enemy within,” which Levy claims is the biggest threat to their bond, and give them tools to revive their relationship, rekindle their love and passion and create lasting happiness.

    Levy’s first book, Picking Right: The Single’s Guide to Finding the Right Match is an Amazon International Bestseller. It, too, boasts results, as reviews and testimonials pour in. The book’s second edition, published in 2016, features a testimonial and a wedding photo of a reader who attributes finding her “right match” to Picking Right. “The information [in the book] was vital for me because I would always choose wrong,” says Pamela Dicso-Caceres. “Your book made so much sense and gave me clarity on my love life.” And she adds, “Your book put me in control of my life. Thank you so much!”

    In a world where divorce is out of control and answers are few, Levy is swimming upstream striving to provide couples and families with real solutions. “The only way to find out if this works is read the book and follow my suggestions,” she says. “If it helps you the way I think it will, let me know. I am very interested!” she adds.

    The Secrets of Happily Ever After will be published in both paperback and e-book formats and will be available on Amazon starting Valentine’s Day.

    Media Contact:
    Daphna Levy
    daphnah@earthlink.net

    Source: Daphna Levy

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  • Journey Beyond Divorce is Divorce Support in the 21st Century

    Journey Beyond Divorce is Divorce Support in the 21st Century

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    The premier divorce and relationship coaching agency expands its service offerings to provide a holistic approach to divorce

    Press Release



    updated: Mar 13, 2018

    Journey Beyond Divorce, or JBD as they are more commonly known, is launching a new divorce support community Wednesday, March 14, 2018, that includes three distinct features – the most innovative of which combines the ubiquity of Facebook with the personalized advice of certified divorce counselors. The resulting amalgamation is a private peer community with daily interaction with other divorcees and JBD coaches. Ask questions and receive answers, or just vent and decompress with people that can understand and relate. Journey Beyond Divorce takes full advantage of Facebook Live, providing monthly sessions around member requested topics, away from the prying eyes of kids, friends, family, and ex-spouses.

    Karen McMahon, Journey Beyond Divorce founder and IPEC divorce coach states, “We’ve always had a ‘clients over-compensation’ approach, and that is as true now as it was in the beginning. To prove it, we are offering 60 percent off annual subscriptions plus a free trial month! We know how hard divorce is for both men and women, and we want you to know how honored we are that you have chosen us to help you during this life-changing process.”

    My Journey Beyond coach was ready to meet me where I was every time we spoke. But she always pushed me a little bit further — whether it was to consider something I hadn’t thought of or give me concrete steps to make the change. She kept our work focused on progress. I’m so grateful for her warmth and clear-eyed guidance.

    Patricia S. , Journey Beyond Divorce client

    While most life coaching agencies focus only on the emotional aspects of going through a divorce, JBD looks toward the future. JBD developed comprehensive resources such as ebooks, audio and video series and flash guides that help users process the legal, financial and emotional facets, before during and after divorce. Whether individuals are unsure of the difference between mediation and arbitration, concerned that divorce means the end of their financial security, or are worried about reentering the dating pool at 55; Journey Beyond Divorce’s team of coaches and expert guest advisers provide curated advice tailored to specific situations.

    About Journey Beyond Divorce: Journey Beyond Divorce was created after witnessing firsthand how ineffectual and limited traditional divorce therapy can be. Founded in 2010 by IPEC & ICF certified divorce coach Karen McMahon; JBD currently offers separation, divorce, and relationship coaching services in New York, Connecticut, and New Jersey, as well as remote locations across the U.S.

    For more information about divorce support, please visit www.jbddivorcesupport.com or contact Karen McMahon – Journey Beyond Divorce founder at karen@journeybeyonddivorce.com.

    Source: Journey Beyond Divorce

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  • Research Square: Cracking the (Tax) Code to True Love

    Research Square: Cracking the (Tax) Code to True Love

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    Press Release



    updated: Feb 28, 2018

    They don’t usually top the list of reasons to get married, but tax bonuses are a real perk for many newlyweds. New research shows, however, that they could actually stop a couple from getting married. The findings were published by an international team of researchers hailing from the University of Augsburg in Germany, the University of Toulouse Capitole in France, and the University of Bologna in Italy. Using game theory, they’ve concluded that couples who stand to gain a tax incentive from marriage are – perhaps surprisingly – less likely to wed.

    The team modeled the fate of a fictitious couple – Sam and Robin – under two different scenarios: whether their marriage boosted their earnings thanks to a tax bonus or came at the cost of a tax penalty. Surprisingly, they found that a tax bonus could actually lower the probability that the couple gets married.

    A marriage proposal, on the other hand, entails costs – for example, Sam has to spend the time to plan the proposal and is exposed to the potential cost of divorce. Only a strongly-in-love partner is willing to pay these costs.

    Kerstin Roeder, Professor for Applied Microeconomics, University of Augsburg

    Just why would the chance to bring in extra cash potentially lead to an “I don’t”? The answer may come down to a matter of motive.

    A tax liability can affect the communication of strong love by changing the costs associated with marriage, according to the researchers. “A simple ‘I love you’ doesn’t cost anything and is therefore not credible for Robin,” says Kerstin Roeder, one of the investigators for the work. “A marriage proposal, on the other hand, entails costs – for example, Sam has to spend the time to plan the proposal, and is exposed to the potential cost of divorce. Only a strongly-in-love partner is willing to pay these costs.”

    And tax penalties add to the cost, signaling to Robin that Sam’s eagerness to get married comes only from a place of true love.

    The model’s predictions help reveal the effects that a tax system can have on the marriage decision, which could have important repercussions for how tax policy is designed. “Our analysis shows that tax (dis)incentives for marriage can have strong implications on the number of marriages,” Roeder says, “and on whether they are based on love or tax benefits.”

    Original citation: Barigozzi, Francesca and Cremer, Helmuth and Roeder, Kerstin, Until Taxes Do Us Part: Tax Penalties or Bonuses and the Marriage Decision (October 24, 2017). Quaderni – Working Paper DSE N° 1111. Available at SSRN: https://ssrn.com/abstract=3058874 or http://dx.doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.3058874

    Source: Research Square

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  • Life Coaching Masters Reveals How to Avoid a Valentine’s Day Meltdown and Take Effective Steps to Fix Your Love Life

    Life Coaching Masters Reveals How to Avoid a Valentine’s Day Meltdown and Take Effective Steps to Fix Your Love Life

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    Press Release



    updated: Feb 13, 2018

    Valentine’s Day, like most other national days of giving, has become renowned for its spending, which is estimated at $13 billion annually. One billion cards are sent each year. On average, men spend $130 and, remarkably, 9 million people buy their pets Valentine’s Day gifts. What Lovers’ Day is less known for, is its disastrous effects.

    According to a poll, one in ten young adults admitted to feeling lonely, insecure, depressed or unwanted on Valentine’s Day, and forty percent of people have negative feelings toward it. This is no surprise, considering research shows that 75 percent of suicide attempts are attributable to relationship problems.

    Bestselling author and relationship expert Daphna Levy of Life Coaching Masters claims that things don’t have to be this way. Rather, relationships can last and families can stay together happily, providing they have tools to use to do so. “The problem is that there is no ‘Relationship Class’ to show us the way,” says Levy. “Many of our professors, parents and even counselors struggle with matters of the heart. Consequently, youth grow up without the guidance and knowledge required for lasting relationships. The disastrous results are all around us.”

    This Valentine’s Day, Levy offers valuable tips to help make it a happier day, both for lonely singles and couples who yearn for the way they used to be.

    For Singles: Five Steps to Beating Valentine’s Day Blues

    1.      Don’t let depression get the best of you this Valentine’s Day. Do something to lift your spirits. Hiking or long walks can cure the blues, and remember to take a good look at the scenery while you walk. No one to hike with? Search the Internet for local hiking groups.

    2.      Rather than dwell on your singleness, make plans to meet with a good friend – who will also be alone on Lovers’ Day – and go out for a meal, or to a movie; or invite friends and family over to your place and throw a Valentine’s Day potluck.

    3.      While a little social drinking may be fine, don’t “drown your sorrows” with alcohol.  All drugs do is mask the problem while fixing nothing. You numb yourself emotionally and spiritually, then wake up to the very misery you were trying to “forget” but now, with deeper depression and a hangover.

    4.      Follow the golden rule that giving is more rewarding than receiving.  Rather than feeling sorry for yourself, go and help others. It is the best therapy there is! You could spend part of your day helping at a homeless shelter or an animal shelter near you. Helping others could dispel your own sadness and give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

    5.      Like many of us, you may have had bad relationships and perhaps realized that you had picked the wrong person. “Picking Wrong” occurs because we disregard red flags early in the relationship. Realize that this can happen to the best of us and, in the future, don’t let love blind you. These are lessons that are seldom taught anywhere, so pick up a copy of my book, “Picking Right: The Single’s Guide to Finding the Right Match“, and do some reading on Valentine’s Day to start getting smarter and make this a great year for relationships!

    For Couples: Four Steps to Improving Your Love Life

    1.      Plan in advance and do something special with your partner on Valentine’s Day – something that both of you will enjoy. Perhaps a nice meal, or a drive and a movie. Focus on good communication about happy times and things you can laugh about. Focus on listening and try to be truly interested in what your partner has to say. You will be amazed how this action alone can lead to other, more romantic follow-up intimacies. 

    2.      If this Valentine’s Day isn’t “special” with flowers, cards, chocolates or gifts, don’t get upset. Instead, work on making every day “Lovers’ Day”. How? Instead of focusing on your partner’s faults, errors or deficiencies, try to find what they do right, and everything you love and appreciate about them. Focus on it, mention it, praise it and tell others about it. Avoid the temptation to say anything negative! Try this for two weeks and let me know the result. You’ll be surprised!

    3.      Make an agreement between you not to get into discussions or arguments when either one of you is tired, hungry, ill, hormonal or under the influence. A good-night sleep, nutritious food and being well and sober make all the difference in the world and could turn a potential fight into a civilized and constructive dialogue.

    4.      Help each other. Not only should you help your partner (which you probably do), but let him or her to help you as well. Many people err in not permitting their partner to do things for them or by criticizing them when they do. This could be the death of a relationship! So, make your significant other feel valuable by (a) letting them help and then (b) letting them know how much you appreciate it.

    Daphna Levy is an Amazon International Bestselling Author and Relationship Coach with over thirty years of experience. She is a Public Speaker and Community Activist, who has great concern about the growing drug problem among youth and the disintegration of the family unit. She helps clients in her Pasadena and Bakersfield California offices as well as nationwide and internationally, over the Internet. She can be reached through her website https://www.thesecretsofhappilyeverafter.com/contact-daphna.

    Source: Life Coaching Masters

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