As Cardi B continues her single-drop journey for 2024 (continuing to tease fans with the promise of a long overdue second album), she follows up the Missy Elliott-sampling “Like What (Freestyle)” with “Enough (Miami).” Opening the track with the repetition of “yeah” in a manner that harkens back to how she sounds at the beginning of “WAP,” Cardi says pretty much the same thing she does on “Like What (Freestyle)” about being superior to all other bitches and having more money than they do as well. The only marked distinctions between the two tracks (apart from beat) might be that Coach is name-checked in one, and Van Cleef in the other.
Both songs also mention Cardi’s “opps” “linking up” to conspire against her. In “Like What (Freestyle),” that sounds like, “First, that bitch hate me, then this bitch hate me/And somehow, they link up and they become friends, like, how?” In “Enough (Miami),” it becomes: “I see my opps linkin’ up, I’m like, ‘What in the fuck?’” Many believe Cardi is alluding to City Girls’ JT (which seems to add up via the song being titled “Enough [Miami]”—from whence City Girls hail, plus JT’s “other half” is Yung Miami) after the latter blatantly shifted to Team Nicki despite working with Cardi on 2019’s “Twerk.”
As for the visuals that accompany “Like What (Freestyle)” and “Enough (Miami),” the latter goes in an even more no-frills (and no clothes) direction (thanks to help from Patience Harding, in what marks her first music video in the role of director). Because at least “Like What (Freestyle),” directed by Cardi’s baby daddy a.k.a. “BD,” Offset, has an actual, tangible set. Even if it’s “just” a house. Albeit a lavish one. In “Enough (Miami),” Cardi takes the route that many rappers and pop stars alike before her have: going for the all-white backdrop (with some black and beige ones thrown in between). It’s a tradition that’s been employed by artists like Crystal Waters with “Gypsy Woman (She’s Homeless),” MC Hammer with “U Can’t Touch This,” Warrant with “Cherry Pie,” Madonna with “Human Nature” (and, more germinally in her career, “Lucky Star”), Taylor Swift with “Shake It Off” and, to Cardi’s chagrin, Nicki Minaj with “Barbie Tingz.” And then, most recently of all, there’s been Miley Cryus’ rash of no-frills videos featuring only stark white or black backdrops, which we saw appear in “River,” “Used to Be Young” and, most freshly, “Doctor (Work It Out).”
And yet, per Cardi, she had the song (somewhat) ready back in January of 2023, which would have given her plenty of time to create a decent music video concept for it. But maybe what the lack of concept (apart from Cardi “looking hot” in a bunch of different couture outfits) says more than anything is that nothing is actually going on in the song—apart from the repetition of her usual profanities and insults, as well as flexes about how much money she has, and how embarrassing everyone else is for being poor. Something Cardi’s cohort, Megan Thee Stallion, got across quite effectively on Traumazine. And yes, Cardi uses a Megan Thee Stallion collaborator, OG Parker, for co-production on the track, with its beat being catchier than the lyrics themselves (though one does admire the Seussian stylings of Cardi rapping, “One bitch, two bitch, old bitch, new bitch/None of y’all bitches not gon’ do shit”).
Some might say that the lack of “plot,” so to speak, has more to do with putting a spotlight on the “striking” visuals Cardi is presenting with her body and clothes alone. However, if that’s the case, then why not go another similar route to the aforementioned Megan Thee Stallion in her “Body” video, during which, despite the spartan backdrops and non-narrative, she was able to at least bring back memorable choreography, in addition to providing her viewers with cameos galore throughout the video. In fact, it seemed Megan was pulling inspiration from more artful videos of the late 90s and early 00s, including Hype Williams’ “What’s It Gonna Be?!” by Busta Rhymes and Janet Jackson.
The trend in, let’s say, “lackluster” video concepts that have no narrative, but rely, instead, only on a lot of changing “looks” to distract the audience from no “there” being there has likely been compounded by both the pandemic and social media. It was during the former that musicians were forced to scale way back in terms of resources that could create grandiose concepts (see: Charli XCX’s “Claws” video). And perhaps seeing that one didn’t really need to keep bothering with much in the way of bombast (why not save budgets for something else?) since people’s expectations had already been so lowered, the necessity gave way to becoming increasingly the norm.
As for social media’s influence, the fact that the masses have been able to contribute to the everyman aesthetic of banality over the years—reaching an apex with TikTok videos—has surely played some part in trickling back into the mainstream. Although Cardi could have delivered a much more elaborate music video (e.g., some kind of riff on Miami Vice or Scarface), she chose to keep it simple, relying, as is the stripper’s way, on her body to be the main attraction.
The result is a music video that’s indistinguishable from most others (whether from Cardi B herself or any of her contemporaries), as viewers are made to keep forgetting what the pinnacle of the art form was ever like before this period of low budgets and laziness (at least storyline-wise). Gone are the days of “telling a tale” à la Britney Spears’ “Lucky” video. And when any attempt at story is made, it simply takes from some already well-known pop culture reference (as is the case with Ariana Grande’s “we can’t be friends [wait for your love]” video). Something Cardi B didn’t even feel obliged to do with this particular single.
It is an increasingly “grand tradition” in the genre of songwriting. Not to mention a rite of passage for any major pop star who stirs up enough controversy. That tradition being to “clapback” at the faceless blob known as “The Critics” (though some are simply trying to treat art with the seriousness it should be imbued with—but try telling that to a stan, or a celebrity as convinced of her perfection as Lana Del Rey). With Ariana Grande’s lead single from Eternal Sunshine, “yes, and?,” she revives this grand tradition with the help of the inspiration that came from being, let’s just say it, a homewrecker (a song title that’s already been used, to memorable effect, by Marina and the Diamonds [now MARINA], and appears on the list below). Repurposing the narrative to her benefit with a song that takes ownership of loving a certain babyface ginger dick, Ethan Slater. Best known, that’s right, for his portrayal of SpongeBob SquarePants in the musical of the same name (Grande always has a fetish for the wiry, slightly gay types).
While “yes, and?” can’t quite surpass a track like Madonna’s “Human Nature” in terms of its stinging qualities against the critics (e.g., “I’m not your bitch/Don’t hang your shit on me”), it’s definitely become instantly “up there” among the ranks of iconic clapbacks in song form. Below are a few other noteworthy ones from the past few decades, in no particular order.
“shut up” by Ariana Grande:Obviously no stranger to criticism by the time 2020’s Positions rolled around, it was fitting that Grande should kick off that album with the saucy “shut up.” A clear message to critics, tabloid headlines and online trolls alike, Grande’s directive was simple: “You know you sound so dumb (so dumb, so dumb, so dumb)/So maybe you should shut up/Yeah maybe you should shut up.” Elsewhere, she points out that those who tend to criticize tend to have the most time on their hands and are also plenty criticizable themselves. Thus, she adds, “How you been spendin’ you time?/How you be usin’ your tongue?/You be so worried ‘bout mine/Can’t even get yourself none.” That line about “using one’s tongue” also foreshadowed the lyric from “yes, and?” that goes, “My tongue is sacred/I speak upon what I like.” Because, apparently, it’s only okay when Ari does that, not critics.
“Without Me” by Eminem: Released as the lead single from Eminem’s fourth album, The Eminem Show, “Without Me” was a sequel, of sorts, to “The Real Slim Shady” from 2000’s The Marshall Mathers LP. By 2002, when The Eminem Show came out, Eminem was, even more than Grande, extremely well-versed in being caught in the melee of critics’ and politicians’ contempt. Not to mention the fellow celebrities/public figures Eminem was wont to name-check in his songs. In “Without Me,” that includes Dick and Lynne Cheney, Elvis Presley, Chris Kirkpatrick of *NSYNC, Limp Bizkit, Moby and Obie Trice (though Obie is only mentioned in reference to “stomping” on Moby). More than anything, however, Eminem’s intent is to remind all of his detractors how “empty” it would feel without him in the music industry. Hence, the earworm of a chorus, “Now, this looks like a job for me/So everybody, just follow me/‘Cause we need a little controversy/‘Cause it feels so empty without me.” The accompanying video portraying Eminem as a superhero rather than a villain only added to the efficacy of his jibe at critics.
“The Emperor’s New Clothes” by Sinead O’Connor: Although “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” the second single from I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got, is about many things, one of its most fundamental verses is peak “clapback at the critics,” of which there were already many—especially in conservative Catholic Ireland—at the time of O’Connor’s second record release. The verse in question goes: “There’s millions of people/Who offer advice and say how I should be/But they’re twisted and they will never be/Any influence on me/But you will always be/You will always be.” In this way, O’Connor insists that the public perception or criticism of her will never matter—only the opinion and viewpoint of the one she truly loves (at that time, producer John Reynolds) will. The video for the song also heightens the notion of O’Connor continuing to perform however she wants to and say whatever she wants to as its entire premise is just her dancing and singing onstage in front of an expectedly judgmental crowd.
“Human Nature” by Madonna: The occasional Sinead adversary, Madonna, brought listeners the inarguable mack daddy of all clapback songs in 1994, with the release of Bedtime Stories (still among one of Madonna’s most underrated records). A direct reference to her treatment and the general slut-shaming that occurred during her Sex book and Erotica era, Madonna wanted to remind critics that she may have forgiven, but she didn’t forget. As the fourth and final single from the album, “Human Nature” differed from the previous singles (including “Secret,” “Take A Bow” and “Bedtime Story”) in that it deliberately sought to remind listeners and critics alike that, despite presenting a “softer side” for this record, the defiant, devil-may-care Madonna was still there. Ready to pounce—and in a black latex bodysuit, too. For just as iconic as the song itself was the Jean-Baptiste Mondino-directed video, awash in S&M aesthetics inspired by Eric Stanton. As Madonna herself said of the track, “The song is about, um, basically saying, ‘Don’t put me in a box, don’t pin me down, don’t tell me what I can and can’t say and it’s about breaking out of restraints.” The restraints that critics have, so often, foolishly tried to place on Madonna.
“Like It Or Not” by Madonna: By 2005, Madonna had more than just the usual critics on her back. After turning forty-seven, Madonna kept pushing the so-called limits of pop stardom by daring to keep not only releasing records and performing live, but still dressing “too scantily” “for her age.” Complete with the leotards and fishnets that characterized her Confessions on a Dance Floor period. Fittingly, “Like It Or Not” served as the finale to the record, with Madonna promising her detractors, “This is who I am/You can like it or not/You can love me or leave me/‘Cause I’m never gonna stop.” Turns out, she might have been directing those comments at Guy Ritchie as well.
“Vulgar” by Sam Smith and Madonna: In case you couldn’t tell by now, Madonna is not just the Queen of Pop but clearly the Queen of the Clapback—as further evidenced by this modern update to the content and attitude of “Human Nature.” Sam Smith and Madonna came together for this song after the latter’s condemnation for her appearance (too obviously riddled with plastic surgery—that was the usual critique) at the 2023 Grammys and after Smith, too, was criticized for his increasingly “fat” and “effete” appearance during the Gloria album rollout and the according visuals that came with it (including the video for “Unholy”—during which Smith is dressed in some very Madonna-as-Dita attire). Teaming up to hit back at those who would try to keep them down (even though Madonna has far more experience with that than Smith), the duo triumphantly announces, “Got nothing left to prove/You know you’re beautiful when they call you/Vulgar/I do what I wanna/I go when I gotta/I’m sexy, I’m free and I feel, uh/Vulgar.”
“Your Early Stuff” by Pet Shop Boys: The Madonna-adjacent (in terms of gay fanbase, musical stylings and coming up in the 80s) Pet Shop Boys also know a thing or two about being critiqued. Especially when it comes to the main criticism being that they’ve been around “too long.” As though an artist should simply pack it in because some arcane alarm clock goes off in their head about being “too old” to continue when, the reality is, true artists keep creating art until the day they die. Featured on 2012’s Elysium (the duo’s eleventh album), Neil Tennant had no trouble writing the song as, per his own words, “Every single line in that song, every single thing has been said to me.” This includes such backhanded “compliments” as, “You’ve been around but you don’t look too rough/And I still quite like some of your early stuff/It’s bad in a good way, if you know what I mean/The sound of those old machines” and “Those old videos look pretty funny/What’s in it for you now, need the money?/They say that management never used to pay/Honestly, you were ripped off back in the day.” Unlike the other songs on this list, “Your Early Stuff” is perhaps most unique for stemming directly from the criticisms of the common people, as opposed to more ivory tower-y, “legitimate” critics.
“URL Badman” by Lily Allen: Another British addition to the list, this still too-untreasured gem from Lily Allen’s equally untreasured Sheezus record, “URL Badman” is Allen at her most delightfully snarky (which is saying something, as she she’s quite gifted with snark). Taking little boys who write for the likes of Complex and Vice (RIP, but that’s karma) to task, Allen speaks from the myopic perspective of the URL Badman in question, declaring, “It’s not for me, it must be wrong/I could ignore it and move on/But I’m a broadband champion/A URL badman,” also adding, “And if you’re tryna call it art/I’ll have to take it all apart/I got a high-brow game plan/A URL badman/I’m a U-R-L-B-A-D-M-A-N with no empathy.” This speaking to the crux of how musicians feel about critics in general.
“Attention” by Doja Cat: Released as the lead single from Scarlet, Doja Cat’s mountains of controversy had piled up significantly by 2023, chief among them being her blithe defense of dating a white supremacist/sexual abuser and her venomous attack against her own fanbase, who she told to “get a job”—the usual dig made by people who think paid time for unsatisfying labor is supposed to make you a more worthwhile person on this planet (hence, “Billie Eilish Is A Jobist”). “Attention” paired well with this rash of events, with Doja Cat creepily talking about some invisible monster (perhaps what Lady Gaga would call “the fame monster” inside of her) that needs the attention, not her. It’s a very, “That wasn’t me, that was Patricia” defense, and maybe “Scarlet” is the easier part of herself to blame for needing her ego to be fed. Nonetheless, she still demands of the critics, “Look at me, look at me, you lookin’?” later mocking them with the verse, “I readed all the comments sayin’, ‘D, I’m really shooketh,’ ‘D, you need to see a therapist, is you lookin’?’/Yes, the one I got, they really are the best/Now I feel like I can see you bitches is depressed/I am not afraid to finally say shit with my chest.” Obviously, that last line sounds familiar thanks to appearing in the chorus of Grande’s “yes, and?” when she urges, “Yes, and?/Say that shit with your chest.” In another moment of skewering the critics, Doja Cat balks, “Talk your shit about me, I can easily disprove it, it’s stupid/You follow me, but you don’t really care about the music.”
“Taco Truck x VB” by Lana Del Rey: Lana Del Rey has often felt similarly. And, like Sinead O’Connor’s “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” it’s one verse in particular that makes Del Rey’s lengthy “Taco Truck x VB” (the “VB” being an abbreviation for a previously unreleased version of Norman Fucking Rockwell’s “Venice Bitch”) stand out as a clapback track. The one that shrugs, “Spin it till you whip it into white cream, baby/Print it into black and white pages don’t faze me/Before you talk, let me stop what you’re saying/I know, I know, I know that you hate me.” And just like that, Del Rey dismisses all responsibility for dubious behavior….like wearing a Native American headdress, posing a non sequitur “question for the culture,” posting unblurred-out videos of black and brown protesters/looters during the BLM of summer 2020 or insisting she’s not racist because she’s dated plenty of rappers (on a side note: no one knows who she might be talking about apart from white “rapper” G-Eazy).
“Homewrecker” by Marina and the Diamonds: Even if Marina Diamandis a.k.a. Marina and the Diamonds a.k.a. MARINA is singing from the perspective of her alter ego, Electra Heart, 2012’s “Homewrecker” is still plenty viable as a clapback song. And it definitely ties into Ariana Grande’s overarching theme on “yes, and?,” which is a direct addressment of the critics who have called her, that’s right, homewrecker. Opening with the tongue-in-cheek lyrics, “Every boyfriend is the one/Until otherwise proven…/And love it never happens like you think it really should,” MARINA paints the picture of a woman who won’t be torn down by the slut-shaming insults lobbied against her. Besides, as she announces (in the spirit of Holly Golightly), “And I don’t belong to anyone/They call me homewrecker, homewrecker.” She gets even cheekier when she adds, “I broke a million hearts just for fun” and “I guess you could say that my life’s a mess/But I’m still lookin’ pretty in this dress.” This latter line reminding one of Grande’s lyric on “we can’t be friends (wait for your love),” “You got me misunderstood/But at least I look this good.”
“Piece of Me” by Britney Spears: No stranger to being called a homewrecker herself after getting together with Kevin Federline in 2004, when Shar Jackson was pregnant with his second child, Spears was already jaded about critical lambastings by 2007. And “Piece of Me” was the only appropriate response to all the scrutiny (especially after Spears was reamed for her performance of “Gimme More” at the 2007 VMAs). Thus, she unleashed it as the second single from Blackout. Having endured the critical lashings of her every move, 2007 was also the year that Spears famously shaved her head at a Tarzana salon, providing plenty of grist for the tabloid mill. But to her endlessly stalking paparazzi and the various critics, Spears roared back, “You want a piece of me?/I’m Mrs. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous/I’m Mrs. Oh My God That Britney’s Shameless/I’m Mrs. Extra! Extra! This Just In!/You want a piece of me/I’m Mrs. She’s Too Big Now She’s Too Thin.” So apropos to her entire existence in the spotlight, Spears’ Vegas residency would end up being called that as well—a heartbreaking choice considering how many pieces her family took of her to make her endure that ceaseless run of performances.
“Rumors” by Lindsay Lohan: Inarguably Lindsay Lohan’s only solid contribution to the music business, “Rumors” embodies the apex of 00s tabloid culture, awash in all the language of voyeurism (“I can see that you’re watchin’ me/And you’re probably gonna write what you didn’t see”). And Lohan made the mistake of releasing it slightly before she would really be turned into a tabloid/late night talk show joke. This stemming from her overt dependency on drugs and alcohol at a time when a movie titled Herbie: Fully Loaded was going to come out. Cue all the obvious jibes. If only “Rumors” had been released just a year later to secure maximum impact as a defense for her clubbing/party girl behavior. Even so, it remains what RuPaul would call safe as part of the clapback canon.
“Industry Baby” by Lil Nas X featuring Jack Harlow: In 2021, Lil Nas X came under fire by Nike for selling a limited run of Satan Shoes featuring the famous swoosh logo with the help of MSCHF, an art collective based in Brooklyn. Nike sued for trademark infringement, prompting Lil Nas X to create quite the tailored concept for the premise of the “Industry Baby” video (with the title sardonically alluding to the insult “industry plant”). Incidentally, it was directed by Christian Breslauer, who would also go on to direct Grande’s “yes, and?” video. But Lil Nas X wasn’t just rebelling against the lawsuit, but all of his haters in general, rapping, “You was never really rooting for me anyway/When I’m back up at the top, I wanna hear you say/‘He don’t run from nothin’, dog’/Get your soldiers, tell ’em that the break is over.” And while co-production from Ye (a.k.a. Kanye West) has left some taint on the track, it still packs a punch when it comes to walloping the critics.
“Mean” by Taylor Swift: Probably the most flaccid of the clapback tracks on this list, “Mean” was a direct response to music critic Bob Lefsetz, who reviewed Taylor Swift’s 2010 performance at the Grammys less than favorably. Among some of his more scathing assessments about her off-key performance (made all the more noticeable because she had joined Stevie Nicks onstage) was that she full-stop “can’t sing” and that she had “destroyed her career overnight.” Nostradamus this man is not. But his words clearly stung enough for Swift to include an angry little girl clapback (something that “Look What You Made Me Do” would perfect) on 2010’s Speak Now, released nine months after she performed at the Grammys in January. Which means she found the time to tack “Mean” onto the record for optimal impact. Even so, Lefsetz would rightly note later of the rumors that it was about him and his review, “If this song is really about me, I wish it were better.”
“Not My Responsibility” and “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish: The subject of frequent scrutiny, Billie Eilish already has two clapback at the critics songs under her belt and she’s only twenty-two years old. The first “song,” “Not My Responsibility,” wouldn’t really become a song until it appeared on her sophomore album, Happier Than Ever, in 2021. Originally created as a short film interlude for her Where Do We Go? World Tour, the song came at a time when Eilish was being constantly called out for being, let’s say, the epitome of a twenty-first century sexless pop star. A direct attack on body- and slut-shaming, Eilish softly states, “I feel you watching always/And nothing I do goes unseen/So while I feel your stares/Your disapproval/Or your sigh of relief/If I lived by them/I’d never be able to move.” This more modern commentary on what criticism in the age of social media can do extends not just to critics, but the legions of online commentators as well. A legion that Eilish also acknowledges on “Therefore I Am,” which was released later in 2020 at the height of the pandemic, ergo Eilish’s ability to film freely in a vacant Glendale Galleria. A privilege the critics she derides would never have access to. Something that shines through in her laughing taunt, “Stop, what the hell are you talking about?/Ha/Get my pretty name out of your mouth/We are not the same with or without/Don’t talk ’bout me like how you might know how I feel/Top of the world, but your world isn’t real/Your world’s an ideal.” Often, an impossible one for anybody to live up to. But such is the complex and isolating nature of being a critic.
Although reports (and video) surfaced of Madonna’s steely demeanor toward Sam Smith as he approached the stage to perform “Unholy” with Kim Petras at the 2023 Grammy Awards, it appears their backstage photos together were more illustrative of the things that were to come. And have now arrived in the form of “Vulgar,” released to coincide with Pride Month. What’s more, if anyone had listened to Madonna’s speech before introducing Smith at the Grammys instead of obsessing over her appearance, they might have heard her when she said, “Here’s what I’ve learned after four decades in music. If they call you shocking, scandalous, troublesome, problematic, provocative or dangerous [flashes her leg], you are definitely onto something.”
Madonna, thus, has been onto something from the start, causing clutched pearls from the moment she rolled around in a wedding dress on the stage of the inaugural MTV VMAs with her underwear showing in 1984. And yet, she knows that the newest generations of controversy-starters must continue the cycle if the barrier-breaking she’s done already is to endure. So it was that she added in her speech, “I’m here to give thanks to all the rebels out there forging a new path and taking the heat for all of it. You guys need to know, all you troublemakers out there, you need to know that your fearlessness does not go unnoticed. You are seen, you are heard and, most of all, you are appreciated.”
That’s certainly more than anyone offered up as consolation to M at the height of her media backlash from 1992 to 1993, after releasing the erotic hat trick of the Sex book, Erotica and Body of Evidence. All taken together as a “done solely for shock value” unit, the press had a field day with mocking her and writing her off as going “too far,” being overexposed and, yes, vulgar. Although Madonna would put her clothes back on for 1994’s Bedtime Stories persona, she was not exactly going “gentle into that good night,” offering up “Human Nature” as a defiant, “fuck all y’all” single. An unapologetic clapback at her critics, Madonna sardonically sings, “Did I say something wrong?/Oops, I didn’t know I couldn’t talk about sex (must’ve been crazy)/Did I stay too long?/Oops, I didn’t know I couldn’t speak my mind (what was I thinking?).” In the video that accompanies it, she pointedly appears in a black leather catsuit and wields a riding crop to complete her Erotica-referencing S&M aesthetic. This being why it’s also a very deliberate nod to “Human Nature” that Sam and Madonna should abbreviate their names to S&M on the single’s artwork. The video’s theme of repression and stiflement—literally trying to box Madonna in—is also something that Smith can relate to these days.
Elsewhere on “Human Nature,” there’s her whispered incantation of a mantra, “Express yourself, don’t repress yourself”—the words to live by she’s been imparting to the masses from the beginning (complete with another hit single that built the message into the title, 1989’s “Express Yourself”). After all, Madonna spent too much of her youth living in a repressed Catholic environment before fleeing Michigan and going to New York to finally become her uncensored self. Without fear of being shamed or told to “act like a lady.” This was largely because she found her family in gay men such as Christopher Flynn, Martin Burgoyne and Keith Haring—all of whom would die of AIDS. Madonna’s ingratiation into gay club culture (first via Flynn in Detroit) is inarguably what set the tone for her entire discography, starting with the sweltering, sensual “Everybody,” which was literally “made” by the club’s (Danceteria) reaction to it.
While most—especially those in the mainstream—would turn their backs on the gay community as AIDS ran rampant, Madonna shored up her efforts to publicize awareness. Unfortunately, a new generation of gays has largely tried to reject Madonna and balk at her continued existence, as though forgetting that she was the original epitome of what it meant to be a “good ally.” Smith, it appears, has not let that go unnoticed or forgotten in collaborating with Madonna on “Vulgar.” A song that has its own roots in Smith being condemned for his recent “persona” as a “they/them.” His identification as non-binary was announced in 2019, when he stated, “After a lifetime of being at war with my gender I’ve decided to embrace myself for who I am, inside and out…” As the rollout of Gloria began, it was clear they meant what they said—and that it was too much for someone like Piers Morgan to bear. Indeed, the inspiration for “Vulgar” was a result of Morgan decrying Smith’s Gloria the Tour costumes, chief among them a “Satan outfit” and fishnets. Morgan was quick to compare Smith’s “attention-grabbing” antics to what Madonna has been doing all along—and no, Morgan is not a fan of her either…nor is he a fan of anyone but himself.
Morgan also went so far as to bring on a gay commentator for, of all rags, The Sun and The New York Post. So it was that Douglas Murray confirmed what Morgan wanted to hear by saying, “I think Sam Smith’s a person of limited talent myself.” This also being the same rhetoric that has been used on Madonna for most of her career. Well-aware of it from the outset, Madonna addressed it in Truth or Dare by telling her backup singers, “I know I’m not the best singer and not the best dancer, but I’m not interested in that. I’m interested in pushing people’s buttons, and being provocative and political.” An interest that has remained steadfast to this day. So it’s only natural that she should take an additional interest in Sam Smith’s case, defending him from trolls like Morgan on “Vulgar” by announcing, “If you fuck with Sam tonight, you’re fucking with me/So watch what you say or I’ll split your banana/We do what we wanna, we say what we gotta.”
Her fierce protection of Smith channels a statement she would give many decades after losing so many gay friends: “I didn’t feel like straight men understood me. They just wanted to have sex with me. Gay men understood me, and I felt comfortable around them.” And she certainly seems to feel comfortable around Sam if “Vulgar” is any indication. Giving Britney’s British accent on “Scream & Shout,” Madonna alludes to her own canon by singing, “Let’s get into the groove, you know just what to do/Boy, get down on your knees ’cause I am Madonna”—that last reminder being a nod to her playful 2015 single, “Bitch I’m Madonna.” Not to mention her love of mixing the sacred with the profane by urging someone to get down on their knees. For you can both pray and give head in that “pose.” But, as Madonna once admitted, “When I get down on my knees, it is not to pray.”
The pulsing, rhythmic beat—clearly inspired by ballroom culture—is co-produced by Smith, ILYA, Cirkut, Omer Fedi and Ryan Tedder. Although clearly designed to be “TikTok length” (for Madonna is nothing if not adaptable to the trends of whatever time she’s in), the duo gets their point across in the under three-minute timeframe via lyrics like, “Vulgar is beautiful, filthy and gorgeous/Vulgar will make you dance, don’t need a chorus/Say we’re ridiculous, we’ll just go harder/Mad and meticulous, Sam and Madonna.”
There’s no denying that the theme of “Human Nature” is all over this track. And, considering Smith has been doing a cover of it during the encore portion of Gloria the Tour, it seems likely that “Vulgar” will either replace it, or be added into the encore mix. Either way, these are two bitches who are most definitely not sorry for any perceived “vulgarity.” Besides, they’re not your bitch, don’t hang your homophobic shit on them.
