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Tag: love

  • ‘Love Is Blind’ Season 7, Episodes 10-11

    ‘Love Is Blind’ Season 7, Episodes 10-11

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    Juliet and Callie return with so much to discuss about Love Is Blind Season 7, Episodes 10 and 11. First, the ladies discuss Nick and Hannah’s breakup (1:37) and Tim and Alex’s breakup (16:15). Then they talk about Marissa and Ramses’s fleeting relationship (29:09), Garrett and Taylor’s hopeful end (37:00), and last, the aftermath of Ashley and Tyler (42:35).

    Hosts: Juliet Litman and Callie Curry
    Producer: Jade Whaley
    Theme Song: Devon Renaldo

    Subscribe: Spotify / Apple Podcasts

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    Juliet Litman

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  • RECAP: Chock comes on strong for Joan, Mark finally gets his ‘Golden Bachelorette’ 1-on-1

    RECAP: Chock comes on strong for Joan, Mark finally gets his ‘Golden Bachelorette’ 1-on-1

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    NEW YORK — The mansion was quiet at the start of this week’s episode, but not for long. We got a tight shot of Pascal in his tighty whiteys steaming his clothing. The guys were a bit sad that they were down to just 7 of them. The house was feeling empty. Keith is hoping to get a one-on-one date after his disastrous conversation with him during the cocktail party last week. He said he wasn’t himself and he feels that he’ll be able to show off who he really is on a date with just Joan.

    Gina: It’s getting so real for these guys. You know they’re analyzing every single interaction. I do love that they’re all supportive of each other.

    Trista Advises Joan

    Joan met up with the OG Trista. She said her biggest regret was not sharing with Ryan that she had fallen in love with him earlier on. She felt like she left him hanging. Trista and Joan shared a special moment where she told Joan that her husband John would have been proud of her and wanted her to find happiness.

    Gina: First of all, to our LA readers, La La Land has some yummy coffee! Ok, onto the conversation. Trista’s take is so interesting and you can see just how much the show has evolved from the first “Bachelorette.” Her advice was spot-on and I do think that’s what we’ve seen Joan doing throughout, being more open and vulnerable.

    Keith’s One-on-One Date

    The first date card read, “Keith I want a love that gets better with age.” Note, that there are no date roses. Joan wants to make the decision on which hometowns to visit after all of the men have had a chance on a date. Mark was disappointed to miss out on that first date. Keith met Joan at a helicopter where they toured the area. She said that his big personality reminds her of her husband John. She’s hoping to get to know the depth of him as the date goes on. They swooped by the mansion and the guys waved, but boy, were they jealous! Especially Chock who said he hopes they don’t have a connection because he wants to be with Joan.

    Gina: The foreshadowing in this episode was epic. Props to the story producers!

    Keith and Joan landed in the helicopter at a winery where they did a tasting. They spoke with the couple there about how Keith got the first impression rose and now they were trying to get to know each other. The couple at the winery were married for 32 years and Joan was also married to John for 32 years. It struck a chord. “I could’ve been them,” Joan said. That was like a gut punch. Poor Keith is going to have to do his best to pull her back up.

    Gina: You could see the emotional shift happen in Joan. My heart went out to her in that moment.

    Mark Struggles

    At the mansion, Mark was having doubts. He said the loss of his wife still deeply affects him. He said that he feels a connection to Joan but he’s losing hope. Mark said he’s not sure he’s doing the right thing anymore. He cried as he spoke to Pascal and Jordan about his feelings. Get out the tissues. He told a beautiful story about how his wife Denise could put out her hand and hummingbirds would land on her! He said that he saw a hummingbird as he was out walking and it took his breath away. Mark said it’s like Denise is telling him that being there is right. He’s starting to feel better.

    Gina: Aaaand, we’re crying. For Joan, the sign is hawks. For Mark, the sign is hummingbirds. This story and the way Mark talks so lovingly about Denise is why Bachelor Nation fell in love with him in the first place. He’s just a genuine guy. And his pals supporting him? Just love it.

    Keith and Joan Connect

    Back on Keith’s date, he told Joan that he hopes to show her another side of him. Joan said that she already likes the side that she sees. Keith told her about his ex-wife’s addiction and how he and his daughters haven’t spoken to her in over a decade. He said that he just had to separate them from that situation for their own good. Keith said that he has a lot of emotions and even cries at dog movies. Joan said that she appreciates what a strong man and good father he is. He said that if he gets to take Joan to his hometown she would meet his three daughters and they would do a backyard BBQ. They shared a kiss! Joan worried that her kiss tasted like wine and Keith assured her that it was perfect. He seems like such a wonderful guy.

    Gina: Joan rightfully observed that she felt he was holding back and she’s glad that he’s showing more. He does seem like a great guy.

    Group Date

    The men sat around in the living room anxiously awaiting a date card. There was a knock at the door and Jonathan read it. “Guy, Jordan, Jonathan, Pascal, Chock, our love has no time to spare.” Looks like they are bowling, and Mark finally gets his one-on-one date! He is so relieved! Pascal and Jordan jumped up to give him a hug. My goodness, this show is so heartwarming. The guys on the group date worried that their senior aches and pains might make them bad bowlers but they knew it was all in fun!

    Gina: I love that they wanted to do stretches to make sure they didn’t pull a muscle while bowling! Also, I don’t think we realized before this episode just how close Mark and Pascal are!

    On the group date, Joan warmed up as the men arrived. She seems like she’s pretty good at it. She liked this date because it was an activity that her family would go to do. Pascal was not impressed with the bowling shirt and shoes. But he’s a good sport so he wore it and said “Blue looks good on me.” He’s only bowled once in his life! “I’m not afraid to make a fool of myself,” he said. And it turns out, he’s not half bad!

    Gina: It’s not Gucci or Prada, but Pascal did make it work!

    Jordan got a strike, Jonathan got a strike, Chock got a strike, and Guy, was maybe a little shaky. He was put off that Chock was coming on strong and on Joan’s bowling team, and putting his arm around her. Jonathan said it seemed like they were a couple and they were all buddies. Guy asked Chock to let Joan have some time with the other guys, but he pretty much ignored that request.

    Guy slid in when Chock had to get up to take his turn. Pascal decided to play it cool because “It’s in Joan’s hands.” Jonathan said that his mother was on a game show called “Bowling for Dollars” and he took out an envelope full of photos and letters from his family to show Joan. He had a picture of his mom, childhood pictures of himself, and pictures of his children when they were little. Seeing the pictures of his children brought tears to his eyes. Joan told him that he’s a pretty incredible human being. They shared a kiss, too!

    Guy feels very strongly about Joan and is dying to bring her home. He told her that she is the variable in this experience and in his life that is making him happy. “I have not been this happy in years,” Guy said. Pascal said that he would also love for Joan to meet his children so they can give him the thumbs up. Jordan also wants Joan to meet his kids and he tells her that if they do, they will love her. The other guys talked about how Chock was glued to Joan, and they worried that Guy might brawl with Chock.

    Gina: This is the one time this entire season that I thought there was going to be some high drama in the house!! But they kinda handled it. Look, I think we all see the connection with Joan and Chock but for the guys, they feel they’re still in the game here too. So I get why they’d be upset. But also, if you want that time with her, make that time with her! Chock is taking every advantage that he can. You can’t fault him for that, really.

    Chock and Joan took some time to talk privately and they shared the experience of how living alone is not what they want anymore. She said that she worried that starting a new life would be selfish but now she wants that. Chock said that he sees a beautiful future with her and Joan said that she feels the same way! They did a lot of passionate kissing! That said, Joan said that she is falling for several men and she wishes she could go to all of their hometowns. Pascal noted that he saw tears in Joan’s eyes and that it was going to be a tough decision for her.

    Mark’s One-on-One Date

    It was finally time for Mark’s long-awaited one-on-one date. Mark had the sweetest smile as he waited for Joan to arrive and pick him up in a red convertible. He said that he had put off dating for years after his wife’s death because he just wasn’t ready, but he feels he is now. Pascal and the other guys gave him a pep talk and told him he was ready for this! “Keep smiling Mark, you have a beautiful smile,” Pascal said to Mark. Aw! Guess who sidled up to Joan as she sat next to Mark…Chock! Did you notice that?

    Gina: Yep, noticed! But here’s the thing, Chock makes the most of every single opportunity he has in front of Joan, even if it’s only for a moment like this one.

    Joan said that Mark is very shy and she worries that he might not open up or make a connection in time. Mark and Joan arrived at a yacht and he was blown away! It was beautiful! They sailed off, enjoyed each other’s company, and drank some champagne. Then it seemed, silent… Mark! What are you doing buddy? Speak up, this is your moment! Joan said that she’s having fun, but they haven’t hit an easy flow yet.

    Gina: This was so uncomfortable for many reasons. First, we’ve all been waiting for them to finally get this one-on-one time and perhaps too much has been made of it because of his franchise connection and the fact that she was so happy to see him come out of that limo with Kelsey on the first night. Bachelor Nation definitely has been rooting for them, so it’s a lot of pressure. Second, he has said he hadn’t really dated since Denise passed, so this had to be a completely strange situation for him. Third, when he had those little moments on group dates or cocktail parties, you know it’s a finite amount of time and it’s not this long, extended day. Perhaps he is more comfortable in that situation at this point in his life? No matter what, I felt so bad. Like, just say anything!

    The captain arrived and gave them a letter from Jesse! He gave them a letter to do a scavenger hunt so that they could learn about each other. Aw! Jesse is awesome – this is the icebreaker they needed! They played never have I ever, it was very PG and they did learn a lot about each other. Joan said to Mark that she really wants to be part of a couple again because it’s more fun with someone and she sees herself in that situation in five years. Mark said that he feels his life will flourish due to this show and it’s given him the confidence to continue. Joan and Mark talked about the sense of loss they both felt for their spouses. He said that she could always talk to him about that. Joan said it felt good to talk to someone who got it.

    Gina: I wondered if the producers had that scavenger hunt kind of at the ready in case things weren’t going well? They know Mark, so they know he is on the quieter side and might need a little push to get things going.

    Mark described how his wife had the longest hair and that losing it from cancer was hard. He said they really made the most of their time together, but then time ran out. Joan said I don’t think that you’ll ever fully heal. Then they shared the signs of their spouses. For Mark, it’s hummingbirds and he shared the story of the one he saw at the mansion. Joan said that she finds comfort in the signs. She teared up and Mark said that he understood and Joan said that she hopes John never goes away. Mark reassured her that he wouldn’t. “To the best day I’ve had since arriving in California,” Mark said as he toasted Joan. He really wants to show Joan off to his kids and show that he’s happy. Joan said that she loved learning more about Mark. “I feel like we have a much deeper connection,” Joan said. But, “There still seems to be something missing.” No!!!!

    Gina: Whew, what a rollercoaster! First, we get the emotional conversation about their losses and the bond they have over their grief journeys. Then, we get Mark talking about how it’s his best day in California. AND THEN, we get an unsure Joan. I was not quite ready for what was about to happen.

    Joan Breaks Up With Mark

    The guys felt like Mark would be getting a hometown. Yet, Joan showed up and asked to talk to Mark. The other men thought her pulling him aside was good, but alas, it was not. Joan told Mark that she felt something was missing. She couldn’t sleep the whole night and said that she didn’t see herself in their conversation and she felt she came into it a bit too early for him. She asked him if he was ok, and he said he was. He said he understood that it was her journey and Joan said that she really loves him. “This experience here has really changed me,” Mark said. “I’m leaving here I know that I’m a better human being, a better man, a better father.” Joan cried about what a great person he was and said he “doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.” They shared a very heartfelt hug and Joan told him that he’s made a big difference to her heart. She just knew that he wasn’t the one and that they weren’t in the same place yet.

    Gina: And this is why we take off all our makeup when we watch this show because we cry it all off! Another teary moment, but just the most lovely conversation. Joan felt bad. She WANTED it to work, she really did. But when you know, you know and she knew. I think this experience is probably going to be more beneficial to his journey than anything else. It was so nice getting to “know” Mark on this season.

    Then Mark had to walk in and tell the guys that Joan cut him loose. The guys felt so bad for him! They all genuinely care about each other and I just love that. Mark told them that he knew that no matter who she chose that Joan would be getting a great guy. They all shared their love and Pascal cried. They made a real connection and Pascal said Mark was his best friend!

    Gina: Why does Pascal have to make me cry even more?!

    Mark packed up his suitcase and talked about how it was an incredible experience but that he just wasn’t what she was looking for. Mark said that everything he looks for in a person he felt like was in Joan. He hoped that he would find his great love one day but that Joan would forever have a little corner of his heart.

    Rose Ceremony

    1) Pascal

    2) Chock

    3) Guy

    4) Jordan

    That meant that Keith and Jonathan were eliminated. Jonathan’s eyes looked shocked, and Keith looked disappointed. Joan walked Jonathan out and told him that he made such an imprint on her heart. Jonathan said that he validated a lot of his values and he felt seen. “You are worthy, don’t forget it,” Joan told him.

    This is the first time I think the two one-on-one dates didn’t get hometowns! Joan apparently just needed confirmation that she knew these were her final four men.

    Next Week

    It’s time to meet the men’s children and travel to their hometowns! Joan meets their kids, grandkids, and other family members and it looks like the men are getting anxious for answers!

    Gina: The grandchild asking “have you kissed my grandpa” had me laughing. We love a good hometown episode. Can’t wait to see Joan and her man take this next step!

    Click here to subscribe on Apple Podcasts

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    Copyright © 2024 WABC-TV. All Rights Reserved.

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    WABC

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  • Asking Eric: Friend’s drinking is causing a problem

    Asking Eric: Friend’s drinking is causing a problem

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    Dear Eric: A couple of years ago I reconnected with an old friend, and I invited her and her husband to my cottage where she and I had spent some good times together over 20 years ago.

    Back then I often had a few too many drinks and also smoked. I don’t anymore. But she still does.

    Over the two days at my cottage, her drinking was to the point where she was unable to carry on a conversation and I had to help her to walk.

    When she is sober and not smoking, she’s smart, fun and engaging.

    I invited them up again last year hoping that I could be more tolerant, but it was worse.

    She’s been proactive about getting together over the past year. At the last lunch, she strongly hinted about an invite for this summer. I responded by text to say that it won’t work out this year due to family commitments (which is partially true). However, the real reason is her smoking and drinking.

    Her response to my text was, “are you breaking up with me”? I didn’t respond.

    Her life isn’t going the way she’d hoped. She has a very fractured relationship with her teenage son, and I think her marriage is struggling. It also appears that she doesn’t have many friends anymore and the relationship with her siblings has fractured, too.

    Do I disappear or prepare for the hard conversation?

    — Dry Friendship

    Dear Friendship: I suspect your friend may have had similar breakup conversations or been ghosted in the past. And she may be marginally, or evenly acutely, aware of the reasons why. So, a conversation may not be as bad as you fear, and it might actually lead her to getting some help. Give her that opportunity.

    As someone who used to paint the town red with you, your friend could be having trouble adjusting to the new rhythms of your life now. But, from what you describe, she seems out of sync in her own life. You’re in a unique position to help her see that and, potentially, inspire a change.

    Don’t disappear. What if you’re the only person who cares enough to express concern about how her drinking is affecting her and how it’s affecting you? Speak out of love and without moralizing. I hope she’s in a place to hear you.

    Dear Eric: I’m a gay man (58) married to a man (61). We have been together for more than 20 years. My younger sister and her husband have been a part of our lives since the beginning and have never shown any sign of not accepting our relationship. We have all traveled together and have stayed in each other’s homes.

    Several years ago, we took them to our favorite vacation spot to renew their vows and, in 2026, they would like us to take them back for a milestone anniversary they are celebrating. We are happy to do it.

    We have come to learn from other family members that my brother-in-law often disparages the LGBTQ+ community at parties. My sister, while not participating, does not challenge her husband on what he is saying. We have not experienced this in person, but I absolutely believe this is happening and won’t tolerate that type of hatred.

    I’m not comfortable confronting them about this with just secondhand information. If this is true, I don’t want to take them on a vacation and potentially have to have an unwanted confrontation in person if he were to say something intolerable. Do I bring it up now or just not say anything and make up an excuse as to why we can’t take this vacation together?

    — Intolerable In-Law

    Dear In-Law: You write that you absolutely believe that your brother-in-law’s disparaging comments are happening. I’m wondering why you believe it and why you would want to continue having a close relationship with someone you think is likely to talk about you behind your back.

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    R. Eric Thomas

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  • Los Temerarios Say Farewell at Toyota Center

    Los Temerarios Say Farewell at Toyota Center

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    Los Temerarios
    “Hasta Siempre” Farewell Tour
    Toyota Center
    October 10, 2024

    Mexican music is normally categorized as lively, jovial, and loud, with brass horns and drums that practically force you to dance. But beyond the cumbias and rancheras that we adore, there will always be ballads that bring us down to Earth. Songs about love, lust, and heartbreak uplift our spirits when we are in love, and console us when that love has been shattered into a million little pieces.

    The absolute masters of the romantic ballad are Los Temerarios, a band from Zacatecas, Mexico that was formed in the late 1970s, and enjoyed four decades of heart-wrenching hits. They are in the middle of their farewell tour across the US, Mexico, and Latin America at the moment, and will finalize this long goodbye in Mexico City later this year.

    The music of Los Temerarios was never at the top of my list of records I purchased or music that I played around the house, but somehow it has always been part of my life. This was music that my tias listened to while they were cooking, and it would be blasting from the radio when my tios were on the grill. I remember my mother singing along to their songs as she listened to Spanish language radio station La Tremenda 1010AM as she cleaned the house and got ready for work.

    click to enlarge

    Brothers Adolfo Angel and Gustavo Angel are masters of the romantic ballad, pulling on heart strings and providing the soundtrack of love for their adoring fans.

    Photo by Marco Torres

    Thursday evening was the band’s first for three sold-out concerts at Toyota Center, which is really impressive for any performer, let alone a Mexican act. As the audience filled into the arena, you could feel the anticipation in the air. Once the Angel brothers took to the stage, they were met with a grand applause, leading into the first song of the night, “Enamorado De Ti.”

    Most of the band’s tracks are slow to medium in tempo, full of melodic notes from the keyboards, soft guitar chords, and driven drum breaks between the verses. I must admit, I haven’t listened to a Temerarios song for a very long time, but somehow those lyrics and melodies that were buried deep in my memory found their way to my mouth. I caught myself singing songs that I haven’t heard in 20-plus years, and enjoying every moment.

    The audience was equally mesmerized, also singing along loudly to each track while they held their dates close and danced in their seats. The opening set continued with “Tu Infame Engaño,” “Una Tarde Fue” and “Como Te Recuerdo.”

    The word “temerario” translates as “a reckless person” as well as “fearless” and “daredevil.” Their band logo and some of their album covers prominently feature a wolf, which is a symbol of both masculinity and beauty. Machismo will always be part of the Latin American male ego, but there’s no shame in being in love and sharing your feelings. Los Temerarios have provided the soundtrack of love for their adoring fans for as long as I can remember.

    click to enlarge

    Gustavo Angel’s distinct voice and guitar has accompanied generations of fans through love and heartbreak.

    Photo by Marco Torres

    The brothers explained to the audience that this show was particularly special because their mother, wives, and other close friends and family were in attendance near the front row. They each blew kisses towards their mom, and took turns serenading her and mouthing the words “Te Quiero Mucho” throughout the evening (I love you!).

    The set list included 30 songs and the show went on until around 11pm. One of my favorite moments of the evening was when they sang a cover of “Qué De Raro Tiene” by Vicente Fernandez. The crowd sang most of the night fairly loudly, but they pushed those vocal chords to the max during this song.

    click to enlarge

    Adolfo Angel is the force behind the melodies and lyrics for the innumerable hits by Mexican band Los Temerarios.

    Photo by Marco Torres

    The encore included the hits “Te Quiero,” “Mi Vida Eres Tú,” and “La Mujer De Los Dos.” A sea of cell phone lights illuminated the arena during this time, and everyone swayed back and forth, shining their light brightly as a “Thank You” to this amazing band for the litany of hits and years of love and support through our highs and lows.

    ¡Hasta Siempre, Temerarios!

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    Marco Torres

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  • Asking Eric: Husband doesn’t approve of wife’s lifesaving friends

    Asking Eric: Husband doesn’t approve of wife’s lifesaving friends

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    Dear Eric: Mid-pandemic, my family and I moved to my husband’s hometown, hundreds of miles from our old city. It was a very difficult transition for me. I am a stay-at-home mom and the opportunities to meet people were very limited because of the pandemic.

    However, about a year ago, I met two other moms with young children in the neighborhood. We became very close and now spend two to three days together every week, at the library, playground, or each other’s houses.

    Meeting them was truly a lifesaver, giving myself and my children opportunities to socialize and pulling me out of my loneliness and depression.

    However, my husband does not approve of these new friendships. He has come up with every excuse why we shouldn’t spend time together — their children misbehave and are a bad influence on our children (they act typical for their age, like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum); they make a mess of our house (which our children also do, with or without them); and their husbands have ill intentions toward me (which is absurd).

    He even went so far as to ask his friend to come supervise when one of my friend’s husbands picked their kids up from our house when she was not there. I love my husband and want to have a happy and harmonious home. However, I value these friendships greatly and believe they make me a happier person, and therefore a better mother and wife.

    — Finally Have Friends

    Dear Finally: Your husband must not have much going on at work, because minding your business seems like a full-time job. This isn’t right. He’s acting out a very misplaced feeling of insecurity and until he works on that, I doubt any friendship you have is going to pass his quixotic standards.

    Tell it to him straight: It’s important for me to have friends. Without them, I struggle with depression and loneliness. I know that you want the best for me and for our kids, so you need to tell me what this is really about.

    He may not have a good answer. Again, that’s his work to do. The end of the conversation should be: These are the friends that bring me happiness. Is my happiness important to you? If so, I need you to support me in this.

    And then don’t entertain any further complaints. This doesn’t need to be debated. If he’s not supportive of your happiness, that’s a bigger problem. But I hope he’s willing to do the work.

    Dear Eric: My son is getting engaged to a wonderful woman. They are in their late 20s. My husband and I are retired and have a limited yet comfortable income.

    The bride is the oldest of two children and first to marry. Her parents are younger and wealthy. Her mother has told them that the wedding must be a large and lavish affair she has been planning for years with more than 120 of their guests.

    My husband and I have told the couple that we will give them a sum of money for the wedding needs — what we can afford — and will make no demands or get in their way to do whatever they want. They are relieved.

    We are unsure how this will go over with her family as they may want us to fork out all the expenses for a lavish groom’s dinner, full open bar, etc., they plan or want. I cannot count on the bride to stand up for us as her mom is so manipulative.

    Our only dilemma is how much money is a normal sum to give the couple if they were a normal, average couple, not considering her wealthy situation. I am not planning to mortgage our home or hand over five figures for this.

    — Wedding Gift Dilemma

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    R. Eric Thomas

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  • Love yourself

    Love yourself

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    What I Learned About Love That Can HELP YOU Too!

     

    You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.

    When I first started dating, I’d go crazy worrying about whether or not a man would like me.

    I was forgetting how amazing I was . . . probably because in those days I wasn’t sure I was.

    And even worse, I was giving my power away to someone I didn’t even know worrying about what he thought about me.

    It’s so easy to do, especially when you read men’s profiles that say things like . . . “I want a professional woman who is petite and thin with blonde hair.”

    After reading something like this, it’s so easy to critically start assessing yourself.

    Maybe your body is curvy now because things have shifted, courtesy of menopause.

    You know you have a great job but you’re not sure it’s what this guy would want and your hair is brown . . . but you could add blonde highlights if that’s what he’d like.

    If you read enough profiles where men are describing specific types of women they’re looking for, you can end up feeling like you aren’t enough.

    BTW . . . Reading women’s magazines can make you feel this way as well with all the unrealistic photoshopping that is done.

    TODAY . . .  I’m here to tell you that YOU ARE ENOUGH!

    You’ve just forgotten and I want you to be able to bring your greatness back to you.

    Recently, I heard this short poem that touched my heart and I wanted to share it with you because it’s so easy to forget how AMAZING you really are . . .  AND YOU ARE AMAZING.

    (And if this poem resonates with you, I hope you’ll pass it along to the women you treasure in your life to remind them how special they are too.)  

    Who Are YOU?

    You are . . . WOMAN

    You are . . . Beautiful

    You are . . . Powerful

    You are . . . Sensitive

    You are . . . Loving

    You are a unique GEM

    You are worthy of LOVE and AFFECTION

    You are . . . never too much and you are always ENOUGH!

    You are . . . AMAZING

    Just the way you ARE

    You are . . . the most stunning of all God’s creations

    You are . . . worth more than you could ever imagine

    You ARE . . . Worth more than the number on the scale, the size of your jeans, more than the price tags on your clothes or the shoes you wear.

    YOU are . . . Worth more than the amount in your bank account, or the car you drive, or even the number of friends you have on social media.

    Your WORTH surpasses ALL things on this planet and beyond Because in the eyes of your creator YOU ARE LOVED!

    So today to all our sisters, mothers, aunts, daughters, grandmothers, grand-daughters, cousins and friends across the GLOBE . . .

    Remember today and every day.

    You are . . . perfect and whole exactly the way you are.

    You are . . . WOMAN

    You are . . . Beautiful

    You are . . . Powerful

    You are . . .Sensitive

    And You are . . . LOVED!

    Poem by Mary Morrisey and Jennifer Jimenez

    A great exercise to do is to record this on your phone and listen to it every day.

    It will help you continue to remember just how awesome you really are.

    Have a wonderful week and be sure to look in the mirror and really appreciate the woman you see looking back at you.

    Believing in you!

    Believing in You!

    Lisa

    P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50

    #1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon



    Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here

    #2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group

    It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here

    #3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program

    I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.

    If you are interested in learning more about how I can help, you can Click here to answer a few quick questions and schedule a call.

    #4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

    Click here to explore my YouTube channel for valuable tips on dating and relationships after 50! Discover insights that will empower you to attract the right partner with confidence.

    Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.


    On October 9, 2024       /   Confidence after 50, Dating Advice Over 50, Dating After 50, Dating after 60, Dating after 70, Mindset after 50, Relationships after 50, Relationships after 60, Relationships after 70  

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    Aurelija Guerraea

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  • Ain’t No Love: The Unlikely Pairing at the Heart of ‘The Penguin’

    Ain’t No Love: The Unlikely Pairing at the Heart of ‘The Penguin’

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    The series premiere of The Penguin ends with its titular villain stripped naked and strapped to a chair as he’s tortured by Sofia Falcone. By the conclusion of the second episode, Sofia makes him an offer to join forces and seize control of the Falcone crime family—the most powerful mob in Gotham City. Life in Gotham is anything but predictable; one minute someone’s pointing a gun down your throat, and the next they’re asking you to help betray their family and make a play to take over the city’s criminal underworld.

    This dramatic turn of events perfectly encapsulates the complicated relationship of Oswald “Oz” Cobb (Colin Farrell) and Sofia Falcone (Cristin Milioti) as they try to set aside their differences to take down Sofia’s uncle Luca (Scott Cohen) and fill the power vacuum created by the death of the infamous Carmine Falcone. Two episodes in, HBO’s The Batman spinoff series is quickly picking up momentum as Oz and Sofia’s tenuous partnership takes root and their respective quests to claim power in Gotham begin in earnest.

    Although The Penguin is first and foremost a series about the villainous Oz Cobb, as Farrell reprises his scene-stealing character from Matt Reeves’s The Batman, Milioti’s Sofia Falcone is as much of a driving force in the spinoff as its central protagonist. Sofia has emerged as an unlikely contender to replace her father as Gotham’s crime lord, and the ways in which her character compares and contrasts with Oz have made their dynamic a compelling entry point into The Penguin’s developing story.

    The pilot episode welcomes the show’s audience by thrusting them right back into the world of The Batman: A montage of news broadcasts serves as a recap of the 2022 film, reporting the rise in crime in Gotham after the Riddler’s terrorist attacks devastated the city and unearthed its deep-seated corruption. And, crucially, the broadcasts also cover the murder of Carmine Falcone and the ongoing power struggle to replace him. After all the exposition ends, The Penguin repositions Oz as the primary protagonist of this world in place of Robert Pattinson’s Batman. He kills Alberto Falcone (Michael Zegen), Sofia’s brother and the new head of the Falcone family, in an impulsive act that sets the events of the series in motion. At first, it seems as if Oz will be able to get away with his crime unscathed, but Sofia—fresh out of Arkham Asylum—arrives to upend his hastily conceived schemes.

    In this week’s installment, “Inside Man,” The Penguin begins to uncover Sofia’s past and delve into the life of the notorious woman better known as “the Hangman.” The episode opens with a flashback of Alberto visiting her at Arkham Asylum, which bleeds into a present-day therapy session as her memories mix with her grief over the loss of her brother. The series proceeds to offer glimpses into Sofia’s life, shedding light on how she is perceived by the world. A radio show discusses how Sofia was technically exonerated for the murders of seven women but labels her a “psycho” and a “serial killer.” Outside of Alberto’s funeral, crowds gather with signs condemning the Falcone family and Sofia’s release from Arkham. At Alberto’s memorial service, conversations hush and turn to whispers when Sofia enters a room, highlighting the unease surrounding her. Even Sofia’s family members either fear her or refuse to take her seriously. (By the end of the episode, Luca and his lieutenants give Sofia the Godfather closing door treatment, shutting her out of the family business as Luca tries to send her away to Italy.)

    Sofia and Oz are alike in many ways. Both are underestimated and overlooked by higher-ranking members of the crime family who fail to recognize their outsize ambitions and the threat they pose. Their immediate families are everything to them, with Sofia hell-bent on avenging her brother’s death and Oz caring for his mother, Francis (Deirdre O’Connell), who has early-onset dementia. They both face judgment and condescension from those around them, whether it’s due to Sofia’s past or Oz’s appearance, and neither takes such disrespect lightly.

    For all their similarities, Sofia and Oz also carry themselves differently. Sofia is discreet and tries to keep a low profile, while Oz drives around in an opulent, purple-and-gold Maserati. Oz is a sweet talker, often wriggling his way out of dire situations, while Sofia is blunt and speaks plainly to cut through all the nonsense. Sofia grew up rich, with a powerful father; Oz grew up poor and has had to earn everything himself. They serve as perfect foils for each other as they reach for the same goal of controlling the city’s criminal empire. And, at least for now, they recognize each other’s potential to further their own agendas—even if they don’t trust each other.

    As Sofia and Oz’s unlikely alliance begins, the audience knows there is little chance their partnership will work; one will surely betray the other at some point, particularly if Sofia ever discovers that Oz was the one who killed Alberto. Watching how their dynamic develops over the next six chapters of the eight-episode miniseries will be fascinating, especially as Milioti and Farrell get more space to play off each other. Milioti is as terrifying as she is mesmerizing as the ice-cold Sofia, and Farrell—fully transformed by impressive makeup and prosthetics—continues to put his own spin on an iconic villain between his menacing yet comical performance and an endlessly entertaining accent choice. (There is still nothing better in The Batman than the Penguin giving Batman and Gordon a lesson in Spanish.)

    For a spinoff of The Batman that’s set within weeks of the movie’s events, The Penguin has mentioned the Caped Crusader’s name only once so far. (It has, however, referenced the Riddler several times already.) Creator Lauren LeFranc has managed to seamlessly weave this series into the world that Reeves is creating in his Batman films, keeping with their dark and grounded tone while also adding more levity to build on what worked so well with Oz’s character in the movie. By setting Batman aside, The Penguin expands this version of Gotham, showing how crime is proliferating in the city in the aftermath of the Riddler’s attacks through a smaller-stakes story centered on Gotham’s warring mafia families and the two oddballs trying to claw their way to the top. With Farrell and Milioti delivering captivating performances that showcase the many dimensions of their respective villains, The Penguin has already been a pleasant surprise that’s generating even more excitement for where Reeves’s ongoing Batverse and the new era of DC Studios could go from here.

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    Daniel Chin

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  • Unbelievable facts

    Unbelievable facts

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    Male mice sing ultrasonic “love songs” to attract females, which humans cannot hear due…

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  • Asking Eric: Friend’s treatment of ailing cat is hard to take

    Asking Eric: Friend’s treatment of ailing cat is hard to take

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    Dear Eric: Ordinarily, my friend is loving and affectionate to her middle-aged cat. She takes good care of him, with food, water, and attention. Today, she told me her cat has a condition that requires medical care, but she feels the vet just wants her money.

    Instead, she is choosing a less costly homeopathic route, along with supplements and a modified diet, telling me she knows the cat may not have long to live.

    Though I would follow a different path, I listened to my friend and did not challenge or try to change her personal decision. My problem is that I feel sad for her cat and am surprised; after hearing her gush about how much she loves her pet companion for years, by how casual she now is about his current state.

    Everyone grieves in their own way, and I need to not judge but I find I am disheartened and am judging my friend. How can I frame this situation so that I can be present for and help my friend?

    — Pet Heartsick

    Dear Heartsick: Oh, I feel so sad for this cat and for your friend. It sounds like your friend is making the best decision she can, given her financial circumstances. I know it sounds cruel to you, but she might be backed into a corner. To wit, if she feels she can’t rely on the vet for good advice, it’s likely a kind of hopelessness has crept in.

    In terms of re-framing, it might put your mind at ease to offer a little help. If it’s within your means, you can ask her if she’d like support paying the vet bill. Or, if that’s not possible, you could help her look into lower cost vet care or financial assistance for pet owners. Your local No-Kill shelter or nonprofit is a good place to start searching for resources.

    If she’s resistant, however, remind yourself that this is a significant loss for her and this may be the only way she can wrap her mind around the grief. Being there for her as she processes it is a kindness.

    Dear Eric: My husband died 11 years ago. He was the greatest love of my life (so far?). Things became really bad two years before he passed due to his alcoholism.

    When we met, both of us were clean and sober. About four or five years later, during a romantic weekend, we both lost our sobriety. However, nothing changed between us or our relationship. We only drank on weekends after our son was in bed, and we never frequented bars. We drank at home. His drinking escalated quickly, especially after his father died. Things between us went downhill from there.

    Eventually, I realized I had to leave. But when I found out he had three to six months to live, I moved back to take care of him.

    Since he died, I have not only struggled to survive financially, but I struggle with moving on emotionally. I haven’t dated or sought any relationship with any man. I don’t trust any man who shows an interest in me.

    I want to be happy again. I want to feel that joy, enthusiasm and lust for life, and find someone to share that with! I know something has got to be wrong with me if I’m rejecting men who want to know me.

    Should I seek a therapist or just accept that I might be too messed up to move on?

    — Stuck in Grief

    Dear Stuck: You are not too messed up. You are suffering, yes. You are dealing with a lot, even 11 years later, yes. But you aren’t broken beyond repair.

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    R. Eric Thomas

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  • Asking Eric: Sister’s ex doesn’t know she’s back in town

    Asking Eric: Sister’s ex doesn’t know she’s back in town

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    Dear Eric: My sister was engaged to a guy, “Peter.” I’ve known Peter for a long time. Not long before the wedding, she broke the engagement because she met someone else, “Rick.”

    She married Rick and they moved away. Peter and I have never really spoken about my sister or what happened, but I know he was deeply hurt. I’ve not heard of him dating anyone since then.

    Peter knows she married Rick but she’s not on social media so he may not even know that, in the last three years, they have had two children and just found out she’s pregnant with twins. My sister and Rick are moving back to the area. It’s a small enough place that it’s only a matter of time before they cross paths.

    I’d like to say something to Peter. My husband says to keep well out of it, they’re all adults and will have to work it out for themselves. I know I’d like to be prepared if I were in Peter’s shoes. What do you think?

    — Bad News Bearer

    Dear Bearer: Stay out of it and let Peter take his chances with kismet, coincidence, and all the other cosmic forces that bring exes together at the best/worst possible moments in rom-coms and nighttime soap opera cliffhangers.

    While you’ve known Peter for a while, you write that you haven’t heard about him dating other people. If you were close, he’d tell you himself.

    So, he may not be at a point, emotionally, where your sister’s happy home life will devastate him anymore. Or, if he is still tender, hearing the news from you might feel just as bad as stumbling upon it himself. Leave him be and let the plot mechanics of small-town life do what they will.

    Dear Eric: While shopping at Costco, I witnessed a woman in her 40s, who appeared to be struggling with a large, heavy box on a high shelf. As she attempted to remove it, the box slipped and fell in front of me.

    I hesitated to help, partly out of concern for my own safety in lifting something potentially heavy, and partly because I wasn’t sure how to react. I also thought she could have asked an employee for help, which is what I would have done. By the way, I’m a petite Asian woman in my late 50s, and the lady who dropped the box was a white woman.

    As I walked away, she confronted me, saying she would have offered to help if the roles were reversed. This made me feel guilty, so I offered to assist her, but she declined and walked away upset. I’m left wondering if I was wrong not to help her immediately and if it’s fair for her to have confronted me like that. Additionally, I’m curious if the racial dynamics might have played a role in my reaction or her response.

    — Hesitant Helper

    Dear Helper: One thing is for sure: the lawyers who handle liability for the Costco corporation would have greatly preferred that the woman ask an employee for help with the heavy box instead of trying to wrangle it down herself.

    Other things are less clear. We’ll never know if your race was a motivator for her, consciously or unconsciously. But, as a person of color, being yelled at in public like that possibly brought up hard emotions for you from other experiences that were more overtly racialized. It’s healthy to process that.

    I’m unsure when she wanted your help — while getting the box down or when trying to pick it back up. Either way, her decision-making has nothing to do with you. What if you had a bad back? What if you’d just gotten a manicure? One is never going to go wrong asking another person “Do you want help?” But you can also communicate clearly about what help is possible if it’s asked for. “I don’t feel safe supporting that box, but if you push it back and wait, I can grab an employee.”

    Dear Eric: Your advice to Willed to Give (August 3) may have omitted a key point. The stepson supposedly “whined” his mother into changing her will on her “deathbed”. This has the earmarks of undue influence and other potential legal issues. The daughters would be well advised to see an estate litigation attorney to review these suspicious facts.

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    R. Eric Thomas

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  • Austin Pets Alive! | Hays County Pet Resource Center Partners with…

    Austin Pets Alive! | Hays County Pet Resource Center Partners with…

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    The Hays County Pet Resource Center is now a part of Neighbors by Ring, a public safety mobile app to share hyperlocal updates with Ring camera users in Hays County. Ring aims to connect residents with public safety agencies through the Neighbors App to create safer, more informed communities.

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  • Asking Eric: Girlfriend not invited to family funeral

    Asking Eric: Girlfriend not invited to family funeral

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    Dear Eric: I’m involved with a man whose sister recently died. I rented a car, bought his kids clothes for the funeral and made sure everything was in order. The funeral was out of town. I wanted to be there for support, but he didn’t invite me. I took off of work and he left with his kids.

    When I told him how I felt about not being invited, he said he assumed I wouldn’t want to go, but didn’t consider me or ask me. This isn’t the first time he’s done this, though. Should I just take it for what it is, because clearly I don’t matter enough?

    — Left Behind

    Dear Left: Try not to take this instance personally. When we’re grieving, we’re not always thinking about every angle.

    If it’s a pattern of behavior with other things that aren’t emergencies or tragedies, try talking to him proactively to see if it changes things. For instance, if there’s something that you want to be invited to, let him know in advance. Or if you’re doing labor to help him, like buying the kids clothes, tell him. “I see the kids need outfits, so I thought I would take them shopping. Would that be helpful?” Sometimes we have to over-communicate so that we don’t feel misunderstood.

    Dear Eric: My husband suffers from frequent insomnia. When he has trouble sleeping, he spends a while (sometimes several hours) reading in bed. He uses a small flashlight, but it’s still bright enough to keep me awake. So does the sound of turning the pages in the book.

    He insists that I ought to be able to sleep through that, but I can’t. The sleep lost because of these middle-of-the-night reading sessions puts a big dent in my productivity at work. Our apartment has one bedroom, so I can’t ask him to go read (and sleep) in some other bedroom. Should I insist that he go to the living room to do his reading?

    — Sleepless Spouse

    Dear Sleepless: It’s pretty ironic that he’s telling you what you should be able to sleep through. Facts not in evidence!

    While the Sharper Image catalogs of the world may assure us that tiny reading lights are the solution for unobtrusive bedtime reading, everyone is different. A half-hour of reading is one thing, but having a whole study session while you toss and turn? I don’t think so.

    Kindly insist on the living room, at least until the point in the night where his medical condition relents a little and you can both get some shuteye.

    Dear Eric: I’ve been dating an amazing guy for the past three years. He is the man I have been looking for my entire life.

    But he does not seem to want to move forward with marriage. We are in our 50s and have our own homes and are financially stable.

    He was married for a very long time and it ended in divorce. Since then he had a couple of serious relationships where it sounded like he was strongly considering marriage, but for whatever reason it didn’t work out. Him not moving our relationship forward makes me feel like I’m not important enough to marry.

    I don’t know if I should give it more time as I think he is slow to make decisions about everything in life or put a timeframe on the table. I don’t know that I will ever be satisfied if I do not have a ring on my finger. Am I wasting my time?

    — Impatiently Waiting

    Dear Waiting: You’re waiting for him to pop the question, but have you asked each other preliminary questions about marriage and your shared future? You can, and should, have the proposal you want but the first step for every couple is talking about dreams, desires, baggage, and the like.

    You have agency here. Have you asked him whether he ever sees himself getting married again? Or what his vision for the two of you might be? Have you shared with him your vision? It’s important to do this so that you’re not carrying around the weight of unmet expectations.

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    R. Eric Thomas

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  • Emergency Pod! First ‘Love Island USA’ Reunion.

    Emergency Pod! First ‘Love Island USA’ Reunion.

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    Juliet and Callie had to meet again to recap the Love Island USA reunion! First, they address the flaws of the show format (01:15) and the girls who came prepared to seek revenge, especially against Andrea (05:56). Then, they talk about the bomb that Aaron dropped without being prompted to do so and what he could do with his current, infamous attention (15:44). They are shocked that the show opened by discussing Kendall’s postshow drama (20:38), and they predict which of the contestants will continue rising in fame (36:54)

    Hosts: Juliet Litman and Callie Curry
    Producer: Olivia Crerie

    Subscribe: Spotify / Apple Podcasts / Stitcher / RSS

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    Juliet Litman

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  • A Grim Future for Jenn. Plus, ‘Love Is Blind UK’ Updates.

    A Grim Future for Jenn. Plus, ‘Love Is Blind UK’ Updates.

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    Callie and Juliet are back with big announcements! First, they share their shock that Molly-Mae and Tommy Fury broke up, before discussing the new Ringer Reality TV YouTube channel (02:37)! They get into hometowns, starting off with Jeremy’s date to Stew Leonard’s (09:31) and Marcus’s lack of a date (13:00). They agree that Devin’s running date would be their worst nightmare (22:05) and get excited over Grant being the new Bachelor (30:00). They make their predictions for the end before discussing all of the couples in Love Is Blind UK, starting with Jasmine’s mom (35:35) and Maria’s high expectations from Tom (49:52)!

    Hosts: Juliet Litman and Callie Curry
    Producer: Olivia Crerie
    Theme Music: Devon Renaldo

    Subscribe: Spotify / Apple Podcasts / Stitcher / RSS

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    Juliet Litman

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  • Couple marries for a second time following hospital wedding

    Couple marries for a second time following hospital wedding

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    One North Carolina couple didn’t say ‘I do’ to each other just once, but twice within the last few months.After a medical emergency this past May, Megan and Aiden Nault ended up unconventionally tying the knot in the hospital.That’s when our sister station WXII 12 first met the couple.Last month, the two finally got the wedding they dreamt of and deserved.”It feels surreal kind of,” Megan said. “Obviously, you don’t expect to marry the same man twice in a row like that.”Their adventure to the altar began in May. On the eve of their wedding, Megan had been experiencing excruciating abdominal pain that required emergency surgery.”We definitely got the sickness and health part down,” Aiden said. “Yeah,” Megan added. “The first was our sickness wedding, this was our health wedding.” Originally, the two got married on the night of their rehearsal dinner during Megan’s hospital stay. While the wedding was lovely, Megan knew she still wanted that fairytale ending.So, on July 20, they both got the wedding they had always dreamt of. “Everyone asks if it was as special as the first time,” Megan said. “And I’d say yes, 100 percent. Knowing everything we went through and getting to the venue. in the moment, in the dress. It was the perfect moment. I got emotional just being outside getting to do this– it was just great.”A true testament to ‘in sickness and in health,’ that this couple will remember forever.”It was beautiful,” Aiden said. “That we finally got the perfect ending we wanted.”The couple plans to go on an official honeymoon sometime next year to somewhere tropical.

    WILKES COUNTY, N.C. —

    One North Carolina couple didn’t say ‘I do’ to each other just once, but twice within the last few months.

    After a medical emergency this past May, Megan and Aiden Nault ended up unconventionally tying the knot in the hospital.

    That’s when our sister station WXII 12 first met the couple.

    Last month, the two finally got the wedding they dreamt of and deserved.

    “It feels surreal kind of,” Megan said. “Obviously, you don’t expect to marry the same man twice in a row like that.”

    Their adventure to the altar began in May. On the eve of their wedding, Megan had been experiencing excruciating abdominal pain that required emergency surgery.

    “We definitely got the sickness and health part down,” Aiden said.

    “Yeah,” Megan added. “The first was our sickness wedding, this was our health wedding.”

    Originally, the two got married on the night of their rehearsal dinner during Megan’s hospital stay.

    While the wedding was lovely, Megan knew she still wanted that fairytale ending.

    So, on July 20, they both got the wedding they had always dreamt of.

    “Everyone asks if it was as special as the first time,” Megan said. “And I’d say yes, 100 percent. Knowing everything we went through and getting to the venue. in the moment, in the dress. It was the perfect moment. I got emotional just being outside getting to do this– it was just great.”

    A true testament to ‘in sickness and in health,’ that this couple will remember forever.

    “It was beautiful,” Aiden said. “That we finally got the perfect ending we wanted.”

    The couple plans to go on an official honeymoon sometime next year to somewhere tropical.

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  • The Final Word on ‘Love Island USA’ Season 6 With Kaylor | Death, Taxes, and Bananas

    The Final Word on ‘Love Island USA’ Season 6 With Kaylor | Death, Taxes, and Bananas

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    Johnny is joined by the sweetest islander from this season of Love Island USA, Kaylor Martin, to talk about what it has been like to come home to the mayhem, the status of her relationship with Aaron, how to move respectfully in Casa Amor, and so much more.

    Host: Johnny Bananas
    Guest: Kaylor Martin
    Producers: Sasha Ashall, Kevin Cureghian, and Milly Millhauser

    Subscribe: Spotify

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    Johnny Bananas

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  • A Refreshing ‘Bachelorette’ Episode! Plus, ‘Love Island USA’ Updates and Olympic Recommendations.

    A Refreshing ‘Bachelorette’ Episode! Plus, ‘Love Island USA’ Updates and Olympic Recommendations.

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    Juliet and Callie are back to cover Episode 4 of The Bachelorette! First, they discuss Jenn’s ex flying from Colombia to try to win her back (04:25). They bond over their mutual distaste for Sam N. (08:48) and talk about the entertaining rugby date (12:28). They discuss Devin’s social media presence not being what they would expect (16:55) and pity Jenn for the torturous dates they are making her go on (22:44). Finally, they give predictions on the show before sharing Love Island USA updates and Olympic documentaries they like (46:04).

    Host: Juliet Litman and Callie Curry
    Producer: Olivia Crerie
    Theme Music: Devon Renaldo

    Subscribe: Spotify / Apple Podcasts / Stitcher / RSS

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    Juliet Litman

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  • Ask a Witch: I Like Him, but Long-Distance Scares Me—What Do I Do?

    Ask a Witch: I Like Him, but Long-Distance Scares Me—What Do I Do?

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    Ask a Witch is StyleCaster’s advice column offering sage advice and practical magic for modern problems. Every Friday, our resident witch Roya Backlund will answer your most vulnerable conundrums through the lens of astrology, Tarot, and spirituality. Submit questions to askawitch@stylecaster.com, along with your birth information—date, time, and location—as well as birth information for other parties involved, if you have it. Hex what vexes you: Ask a Witch.

    Dear Roya,

    I broke up with my boyfriend of two years about a month ago, because I started to realize I only had platonic feelings for him. I recently met a guy who also just got out of a two-year relationship, and we clicked in a way I’ve never felt with anyone. We have the same sense of humor, the same upbringing, and the same values and priorities in terms of family and independence.

    We met through a mutual friend who introduced us specifically because we’d both gotten out of long-term relationships and only wanted to have casual fun. So keeping things low-key was implied from the beginning. But over the past few weeks, we’ve had conversations about how we feel—and ultimately, both of us have caught feelings. We’ve talked about how our situation no longer feels like a “no strings attached” thing, and we’ve started going on dates and spending way more time together.

    Although we’ve both expressed our feelings for each other, neither of us wants anything serious right now. I’m attending college in Tallahassee and he lives in Miami, and long-distance isn’t something I’m ready for. Any advice on how to go about this and not get my heart broken?

    Sincerely,
    Cautiously Crushing

    Photo: Alexander Bemis. Design: Sasha Purdy/StyleCaster

    Dear Cautiously Crushing,

    Being a young college student will always be one of the busiest and most emotionally intense periods of your life. Yes, you’re officially an adult. But you’re also experiencing many adult things for the first time, such as moving away from home, having sex, going to bars, and of course, falling in love. And while all these big and overwhelming feelings are happening, you’re juggling schoolwork, internships, and day jobs. Any wise elder would advise you to keep it light during this time—to think of your college experience as a sampler of all that adulthood has to offer. Why make major commitments when you’re still trying to figure out what you even want to do with your life in the first place?

    But here’s the thing—you can’t avoid heartbreak without hurting yourself in the long run. To avoid heartbreak is to avoid living your life. Every time you set out to achieve your desires, you are taking a risk with your heart. Whenever you love something enough to become passionate about it, you’re putting yourself in a position to feel let down, disappointed, or worse—rejected. Does that mean you should board up your house, delete your contacts, and protect yourself from ever getting hurt? Hell no. When you’re 80-years-old and looking back on your life, you want lessons to share, wisdoms to impart, and stories to tell. You want to have lived a life that’s filled to the brim with trial, error, and the beauty of getting it right. You know who doesn’t have good stories to tell? People who have never had their heart broken.

    Upon looking at your birth chart, it makes immediate sense why you’re concerned about things getting “too serious” with your new and unexpected love interest. You were born with your rising sign in Gemini, a mutable air sign that craves the freedom to explore and the curiosity to keep their options open. With this placement, you could easily spend many years without being in a relationship and have the time of your life, especially during your college experience. (Learn more about your rising sign.)

    Being a Gemini rising means your birth chart is ruled by Mercury, planet of communication. And in your case, your natal Mercury is in Scorpio, a fixed water sign known for intense passion and a strong emotional desire to merge ideas and probe for deep-seated details. In other words, you’re a much deeper Gemini rising—someone who needs emotional chemistry in order to feel interested. Like it or not, you are someone who wants to get down to the nitty gritty and really get to know someone. But once you do get to know someone, it becomes so much harder to separate from them. And yet, you still want to plumb the depths of someone’s soul. Your natal Mercury in Scorpio is also sitting in conjunction with your South Node of Karma, which represents what you’re still carrying from your past lives. This makes you nostalgic, loyal, and someone who doesn’t easily forget. The past weighs heavy on you. And that’s one reason you’re pretty damn certain you don’t want to get too attached! You know what happens when you do. (Learn more about your Mercury sign.)

    Even though you’re still a super young adult, you’re no stranger to how painful heartbreak can be. You were born with your natal Venus—planet of love—in Virgo, situated in your fourth house of home and family. This makes you someone who really plants roots when you’re in love. You want to see them every day—not every few months because you live far away from each other. And because your natal Venus is in an exact square to your natal Pluto—planet of creation and destruction—it may feel as though there’s always a sharp object chafing against your sweet heart. Your natal Pluto is also sitting in your seventh house of partnership, emphasizing the impact this has on your love life. There’s always a fear of getting hurt lingering just around the corner of your relationships. And sometimes, that fear can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, especially if you’re more afraid of getting hurt than simply accepting the universal truth that nothing really lasts forever, not even a relationship with someone who lives across the street from you. Eventually, our bodies will part ways from each other, but our spirits remain intertwined for all eternity. (Learn more about the 12 houses of astrology.)

    All of this is to say heartbreak is not something you should fear, because it’s inevitable. It’s simply a part of life. Of course, you can—and should—learn from past mistakes so you don’t overlook red flags in the future and waste your heart on someone who doesn’t deserve it. But do you really want to say you didn’t fall in love during college when you had the chance? Even if it doesn’t work out between you two, does that mean you will have “hurt” each other? Contrary to popular belief, two people can come together, fall in love, and decide to part ways without betraying or disrespecting each other. Ask yourself—do you think this is the type of man who can go through a breakup without stooping to low blows?

    Regardless of your answer to that question, it’s understandable that you’re both so attracted to each other. He was born with his sun in Sagittarius, which is your seventh house of partnerships. This essentially means that he represents your vision of an ideal partner—someone who has all the qualities of that you’d want your future husband or “better half” to have. He was also born with his moon in Libra, which is your fifth house of love and pleasure. This indicates that there is a deep romantic connection between you and that being together makes life feel more exciting. He completely understands and relates to your idea of “fun.” However, that doesn’t mean keeping the spark alive will be easy. His natal Venus is also in your sixth house of service, which can be a sign that your relationship would also require a lot of work and maintenance. That doesn’t mean it’s not possible, but that it would require effort on both of your parts. (Learn more about your Venus sign.)

    Whether you want to or not, I do see you falling in love with someone, especially after your 20th birthday later this year. Your birthday—aka your “solar return”—is always a momentous occasion in astrology, as it can tell you all about how this next year will unfold. In your solar return chart, Venus will be in your seventh house of partnerships, forming a positive sextile to your natal Jupiter in your romantic fifth house. This indicates a major love story, but one that may be fleeting rather than lasting. After all, your solar return chart also has Venus in a tough square with your natal Uranus, which brings sudden changes, independence, and rebellious energy into the mix. Even if this relationship starts off hot and ends cold, it might be easier to sever ties from it than you think, thanks to this influence from unpredictable Uranus.

    Even if it does eventually end on a bitter note, the pain could inspire you to try things you never thought you could do. You see, heartbreak is important because of what it inspires us to do. Getting one’s heart broken is often the inception story for the greatest and most successful people in history. Let your heart get broken, because it means you cared about something. In order to achieve your dreams, you have to be the one who cares more than anyone else in the room. Give yourself permission to care, even if it means falling flat on your face. Because you will! Over and over again. But you will eventually pull yourself back up, becoming more ten times more powerful in the process.

    Dreamily,
    Roya

    About Roya

    Roya Backlund is StyleCaster’s Senior Lifestyle & Astrology Editor and a professional witch. Born in Los Angeles on May 26—the same day as Stevie Nicks—she’s been obsessed with the zodiac since she discovered she was a Gemini as a child. Her interest in mysteries and the occult began in the metaphysical section at her local Borders. If you’re a fan of astrology, spirituality, and witchcraft, you’ve probably read her horoscopes and lifestyle articles, which have appeared elsewhere in Elite Daily, PopSugar, Astrology.com, and more. Whether you want to delve deeper into your birth chart or interpret signs from your spirit guides, Roya’s got you covered.

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    Roya Backlund

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  • Deathbed Motivation: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

    Deathbed Motivation: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

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    If you were on your deathbed right now, what would your biggest regrets be? The answer can change the way you decide to live the rest of your life.

    Thinking about death can change how we live our lives. Our time on Earth is limited, and this realization can completely shift our perspective. It puts our real values and priorities into sharp focus, causing us to step back and re-evaluate if we are living our current lives in the best way possible.

    When I was going through a period of depression in college, I would take the bus to the local cemetery by myself with nothing but my camera. I’ve always been comfortable with solitude and doing things alone, but these cemetery walks were an especially meaningful and humbling experience for me. Walking among the graves and reading the names of people I’d never know showed me that life is much bigger than my ego. The realization that death is a necessary part of life sparked me to reevaluate and see the bigger picture behind my choices and actions.

    These cemetery walks were a powerful reminder that I would be dead one day too – but not yet – and that filled me with a sense of power and responsibility so long as I’m still breathing.

    How people think about death can have a profound effect on their psychology. Some people face the prospect of mortality by ignoring it and engaging in escapist behaviors driven by materialism (“buy more things”) or hedonism (“seek more pleasure”). Others embrace the prospect of death and recognize that it means they need to make the most of their time here before it’s too late.

    In the popular book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, Bronnie Ware documents her experiences in palliative care, working closely with those who had terminal illnesses or were approaching the end-of-life. She identified five main regrets of the dying based on conversations and confessions with those on their deathbeds.

    This article will outline her main findings along with my personal thoughts on each one.

    Deathbed Motivation: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

    According to Bronnie Ware, the five most common regrets shared by people nearing death were:

    “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

    It’s cliché but true: you only have one life to live.

    Many people cave to social pressures to choose paths in life that are expected of them, such as what school to attend, or what career to pursue, or what types of relationships to cultivate. However, what brings one person happiness isn’t necessarily what brings another person happiness. If we only try to make others happy, we often end up neglecting our own needs, wants, passions, and ideals.

    Understanding your core values is one of the most important steps you can take in life. Knowing what you really want will help you make choices that are harmonious with what you really care about, not just what you think you “should do” or “ought to do.” One interesting study published in the journal Emotions found that our most enduring and long-lasting regrets are usually “ideal-related,” such as personal goals and aspirations.

    Our biggest regrets are often the things we didn’t do but always wanted to, like starting a rock band, or writing a book, or traveling to a place we always wanted to visit.

    “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”

    Most people don’t lay on their deathbeds thinking, “I wish I spent more time at my job.”

    Work is important and it can be fulfilling, but many people in today’s world become myopically focused on advancing in their jobs/careers or making more money by any means necessary (sometimes even in unhealthy, destructive, or unethical ways).

    We wrongly believe that wealth is the only real measure of value in life, and thus we get distracted from other important things like spending more time with family, taking care of our health, giving back to our community, or pursuing personal passions.

    In our materialistic and consumerist culture, nothing seems more important than “working hard” and “making money,” but as the saying goes, “You can’t take it with you when you die.”

    “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”

    We often have trouble expressing our true feelings toward people because we see emotions as weakness or we don’t want to risk being vulnerable.

    This is especially true when it comes to feelings of love, gratitude, and appreciation. There are some families, cultures, and couples where it’s rare to hear the words, “I love you,” or “I appreciate you.” The feelings are taken for granted, but they are never explicitly said.

    It’s important that we learn to express love and appreciation toward others while we still can (including toward family, friends, loved ones, or mentors), because we will often regret it if we miss our chance.

    Recently I wrote my mom a thank you letter for her birthday. It helped me communicate a lot of feelings that I’ve always had but were difficult to say out-loud. It felt like an emotional weight was lifted off my shoulders once I finally expressed my tremendous gratitude for her and everything she’s done for me.

    There are also people I’ve lost in life whom I was never able to tell that I appreciated them. Those are regrets I’ll have to live with – the crucial lesson is don’t miss the opportunity to tell people you love them while you still can.

    “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”

    One common theme in life is that relationships come and go.

    Our circle of friends often changes dramatically throughout high school, college, and into adulthood, especially when we move to new places or leave our hometowns. We tend to lose touch with people over time. Those who were once “best friends” we now go years without even speaking to.

    In theory, it’s easier to stay in touch with people now more than ever; old friends and family are just a call, text, or email away, yet we rarely take advantage of these opportunities.

    It’s never too late to check in on past connections. It can seem awkward at first to reach out to those we haven’t seen in years, but often they will appreciate the gesture and you both will enjoy reconnecting and reminiscing about your shared past.

    The simple act of checking in on people on a regular basis (such as holidays, birthdays, reunions, etc.) can preserve our social connections over time and remind us all the positive relationships and social support we have. Each person you stay in touch with is another layer of meaning in your life.

    “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

    People are too busy these days to be happy.

    We get easily trapped in the hustle and bustle of daily life with work, school, chores, family, and other responsibilities and obligations. In the midst of all this, many forget the simple art of stepping back and finding happiness in the moment.

    You don’t need to wait for something life-changing to be happy. Many people don’t realize that happiness is in their control and you can start finding it in little things, like savoring positive experiences, counting your blessings, having things to look forward to, and prioritizing positive activities. These are habits that are available to anyone no matter what their current situation is in life. You don’t need to be rich or famous; in fact, sometimes those people are the most distracted and least happy.

    If happiness is a skill, then it’s something that’s worth learning. It isn’t magic, it’s a direct result of how you think, act, and view your world.

    The Time That Remains

    If you are reading this right now, then you still have power over how you live the rest of your life. Every new breath is a symbol of this power.

    Which of the big five regrets do you relate to the most? Living too much by other people’s expectations, focusing too much on work, not communicating your true feelings, losing touch with old friends and family, or simply not finding time for more happiness?

    These are important questions worth reflecting on. Take a moment to imagine yourself on your deathbed, which regrets would hurt the most? What can you still do about it?


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    Steven Handel

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  • Previously on ‘Love Island USA’ …

    Previously on ‘Love Island USA’ …

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    This week, Juliet and Callie return to talk about Love Island USA! First, they talk about their shock that Leah is a fan favorite, and share their opinions on Leah’s drama (02:04). They give their thoughts on JaNa, Liv, Serena, and Kordell, and discuss the aesthetics of the contestants in comparison to Love Island UK (12:16). Then, they bond over their love for Rob and the humor he brings to the show despite being a bad partner (20:10). Finally, they discuss their predictions for Casa Amor (31:12), and a tired but beloved Iain Stirling narration (35:00).

    Hosts: Juliet Litman and Callie Rivers
    Producer: Olivia Crerie

    Subscribe: Spotify / Apple Podcasts / Stitcher / RSS

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    Juliet Litman

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