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  • Gen Z Is to Cady Heron as Millennials Are to Regina George, Or: Does Mean Girls 2024 Make Gen Z the New Queen Bee? Hardly.

    Gen Z Is to Cady Heron as Millennials Are to Regina George, Or: Does Mean Girls 2024 Make Gen Z the New Queen Bee? Hardly.

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    For those who applaud it, any contempt expressed for the latest iteration of Mean Girls is likely to be met with the ageist rebuke of how it’s probably because you’re a millennial (granted, some millennials might be enough of a traitor to their own birth cohort to lap up this schlock). As in: “Sorry you don’t like it, bitch, but it’s Gen Z’s turn now. You’re just jealous.” The thing is, there’s not anything to be jealous of here, for nothing about this film does much to truly challenge or reinvent the status quo of the original. Which, theoretically, should be the entire point of redoing a film. Especially a film that has been so significant to pop culture. And not just millennial pop culture, but pop culture as a whole. Mean Girls, indeed, has contributed an entire vocabulary and manner of speaking to the collective lexicon. Of course, reinventing the wheel might be the expectation if this was a truly new version. Instead, it is merely a translation of the Broadway musical that kicked off in the fall of 2017, right as another cultural phenomenon was taking shape: the #MeToo movement. 

    This alignment with the repackaging of Mean Girls as something that a new generation could latch onto and relate with seemed timely for the heralding of a new era that not only abhorred flagrant sexual abuse against women, but also anything unpleasant whatsoever. It quickly became clear that a lot of things could be branded as “unpleasant.” Even some of the most formerly minute “linguistic nuances.” This would soon end up extending to any form of “slut-shaming” or “body-shaming.” Granted, Fey was already onto slut-shaming being “over” when she tells the junior class in the original movie,  “You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.” (They still seem to think it’s okay, by the way.)

    Having had such “foresight,” Fey was also game to update and tweak a lot of other “problematic” things. From something as innocuous as having Karen say that Gretchen gets diarrhea on a Ferris wheel instead of at a Barnes & Noble (clearly, not relevant enough anymore to a generation that gets any reading advice from “BookTok”) to removing dialogue like, “I don’t hate you because you’re fat. You’re fat because I hate you” to doing away entirely with that plotline about Coach Carr (now played by Jon “Don Draper” Hamm) having sexual relationships with underage girls.

    What Fey has always been super comfortable with (as most people have been), however, is ageist humor (she has plenty of anti-Madonna lines to that effect throughout 30 Rock). For example, rather than Gretchen (Bebe Wood) telling her friends that “fetch” is British slang like she does in 2004, she muses that she thinks she saw it in an “old movie,” “maybe Juno.” Because yes, everything and everyone is currently “old” in Gen Z land, though 2007 (the year of Juno’s release) was seventeen years ago, not seventy. This little dig at “old movies” is tantamount to that moment in 2005’s Monster-in-Law when Viola Fields (Jane Fonda) has to interview a pop star (very clearly modeled after Britney Spears) named Tanya Murphy (Stephanie Turner) for her talk show, Public Intimacy. Finding it difficult to relate to Tanya, Viola briefly brightens when the Britney clone says, “I love watching really old movies. They’re my favorite.” Viola nudges, “Really? Which ones?” Tanya then pulls a “Mean Girls 2024 Gretchen” by replying, “Well, um, Grease and Grease II. Um, Benji, I love Benji. Free Willy, um, Legally Blonde…uh The Little Mermaid.” By the time Tanya says Legally Blonde (four years “old” at the time of Monster-in-Law’s release), that’s about as much as Viola can take before she’s set off (though Tanya blatantly showcasing her lack of knowledge about Roe v. Wade is what, at last, prompts Viola’s physical violence). Angourie Rice, who plays a millennial in Senior Year, ought to have said something in defense of Juno, but here she’s playing the inherently ageist Gen Zer she is. Albeit a “geriatric” one who isn’t quite passing for high school student age. Not the way Rachel McAdams did at twenty-five while filming Mean Girls. 

    To that point, Lindsay Lohan was seventeen years old during the production and theater release of Mean Girls, while Angourie Rice was twenty-two (now twenty-three upon the movie’s theater release). Those five years make all the difference in lending a bit more, shall we say, authenticity to being a teenager. Mainly because, duh, Lohan was an actual teenager. And yes, 2004 was inarguably the height of her career success. Which is why she clings on to Mean Girls at every opportunity (complete with the Mean Girls x Wal-Mart commercial). Thus, it was no surprise to see her “cameo” by the end of the film, where she takes on the oh so significant role of Mathlete State Championship moderator, given a few notable lines (e.g., “Honey, I don’t know your life”—something that would have landed better coming from Samantha Jones) but largely serving as a reminder of how much better the original Mean Girls was and that the viewer is currently watching a dual-layered helping of, “Oh how the mighty have fallen.”

    While the musical angle is meant to at least faintly set the 2024 film edition apart from the original, it’s clear that Tina Fey, from her schizophrenic viewpoint as a Gen Xer, has trouble toeing the line between post-2017 “sensitivity” and maintaining the stinging tone of what was allowed by 2004 standards. Although Gen Z is known for being “bitchy” and speaking in a manner that echoes the internet-speak amalgam of gay men meets AAVE, any attempt at “biting cuntery” is in no way present at the same level it was in 2004’s Mean Girls. And a large part of that isn’t just because “you can’t say shit anymore,” but also because the meanness of the original Regina George is completely washed out and muted. This compounded by the fact that Reneé Rapp is emblematic of a more “body positive” Regina. In other words, she’s more zaftig than the expected Barbie shape of millennial Regina. Perhaps this is why any acerbic comments on Regina’s part about other people’s looks are noticeably lacking. For example, in the original, Regina tells Cady over the phone, in reference to Gretchen (Lacey Chabert), “Cady, she’s not pretty. I mean, that sounds bad, but whatever.” Regina might say the same of the downgraded looks of the Mean Girls cast as a whole… Let’s just say, gone are the days of the polish and glamor once present in teen movies. And yet, there is still nothing “real” about what’s presented here in Mean Girls 2024. Because, again, it struggles too much with the balancing act of trying to be au courant with the fact that it was created during a time when people (read: millennials) could withstand such patent “meanness.”

    In the climate of now, where bullying is all but a criminal offense resulting in severe punishment, Mean Girls no longer fits in the high school narrative of the present. This is something that the aforementioned Senior Year gets right when Stephanie (Rebel Wilson) returns to high school as thirty-seven-year-old and finds that Gen Z seems to care little about the rules of social hierarchy she knew so well as a teenage millennial. And the rules Regina George’s mom likely knew as well. Alas, Mrs. George becomes a pale imitation of Amy Poehler’s rendering, with Busy Philipps trying her best to make the role “frothy,” even when she warns Regina and co. to enjoy their youth because it will never get any better than it is right now for them (something Gen Z clearly believes based on an obsession with people being “old” that has never been seen to this extent before). The absence of her formerly blatant boob job also seems to be an arbitrary “fix” to the previous standards of beauty that were applauded and upheld in the Mean Girls of 2004 (hell, even the “fat girl” who sees Regina has gained some extra padding on her backside is the first to mock her by shouting in front of everyone, “Watch where you’re going, fat ass!”). 

    To boot, the curse of having to “update” things automatically entails the presence of previously unavailable technology. This, of course, takes away from the bombastic effect of Regina scattering photocopies of the Burn Book pages throughout the entire school, instead placing the book in the entry hallway to be “discovered.” And yes, the fact that the Gen Z Plastics would be using a tactile object such as this is given a one-line explanation by Regina when she asks if they made the book during the week their phones were taken away. Again proving how this “translation” doesn’t hold the same weight (no fat-shaming pun intended) or impact as before. 

    More vexingly still, without the indelible voiceovers from Cady, the movie becomes a hollow shell of itself, and not just because it’s now a musical lacking the punch of, at the very least, some particularly memorable lyrics (and no, “Not My Fault” playing in the credits isn’t much of a prime example of that either). And so, those who remember the gold standard of the original movie will have to settle for conjuring up the voiceovers themselves while watching (e.g., “I know it may look like I’d become a bitch, but that was only because I was acting like a bitch” and “I could hear people getting bored with me. But I couldn’t stop. It just kept coming up like word vomit”). But perhaps Fey felt that the “storytelling device” of  Janis ʻImi’ike (Auliʻi Cravalho)—formerly Janis Ian—and Damian Hubbard (Jaquel Spivey)—formerly just Damian—telling it through what is presumed to be a TikTok video (this, like Senior Year, mirroring a trope established by Easy A) would be enough to both “modernize” the movie (along with Cady being raised by a single mom instead of two married parents) and compensate for its current lack of signature voiceovers.

    Some might point out that there’s simply no room for voiceovers in a musical without making the whole thing too clunky. Which brings one to the question of why a musical version instead of a more legitimate reboot had to be made. Well, obviously, the answer is: money. Knowing that the same financial success of the musical would be secured by an effortless transition to film. One that ageistly promises in the trailer: “Not your mother’s Mean Girls.” Apart from the fact that it doesn’t deliver at all on any form of “raunch” that might be entailed by that tagline, as Zing Tsjeng of The Guardian pointed out, “Your mother’s? Tina Fey’s teen comedy was released nineteen years ago. Unless my mother was a child bride, I’m not sure the marketing department thought this one through.” 

    But of course they did. And what they thought was, “Let’s throw millennials under the bus like Regina and focus our money-making endeavors on a fresher audience.” That fresh audience being totally unschooled in the ways in which Mean Girls is a product of its time. And so, is it really supposed to be “woke” to change the indelible “fugly slut” line to “fugly cow”? As though fat-shaming is more acceptable than slut-shaming (which also occurs when Karen [Avantika] is derided by both Regina and Gretchen for having sex with eleven different “partners”—the implication perhaps being that maybe some of them weren’t boys). And obviously, Regina saying, “I know what homeschool is, I’m not retarded” had to go. The phrase “social suicide” is also apparently out (even though Olivia Rodrigo is happy to reference it in “diary of a homeschooled girl”). In general, all “strong” language has been eradicated. Something that becomes particularly notable in the “standoff” scene between Janis and Cady after the former catches her having a party despite saying she would be out of town. In this manifestation of the fight, gone are the harshly-delivered lines, “You’re a mean girl, Cady. You’re a bitch!”

    Despite its thud-landing delivery, the messaging of Mean Girls remains the same. Or, to quote the original Cady (evidently an honorary Gen Zer with this zen anti-bullying stance), “Making fun of Caroline Krafft wouldn’t stop her from beating me in this contest. Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier, calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” Alas, Fey doesn’t solve the problem of bridging millennial pop culture into what little there is of Gen Z’s. At the end of Mean Girls 2024, the gist of Cady’s third-act message becomes (as said by Janis): “Even if you don’t like someone, chances are they still want to just coexist. So get off their dick.”

    The thing is, Mean Girls 2024 can’t coexist (at least not on the same level) with Mean Girls. It’s almost like Cady Heron trying to be the new Regina George. That is to say, it just doesn’t work, and ends up backfiring spectacularly (though not from a financial standpoint, which is all that ultimately matters to most). Unfortunately, when Cady tells Damian at the end of 2004’s Mean Girls, “Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics” and then gives the voiceover, “And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace…well, let’s just say we knew how to take care of it [cue the fantasy of the school bus running them over],” she added, “Just kidding.” And she was. Otherwise the so-called junior Plastics of Mean Girls 2024 wouldn’t be here, disturbing the millennial peace.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Lindsay Lohan's cutout dress at the Mean Girls premiere proves she's still a ‘regulation hottie’

    Lindsay Lohan's cutout dress at the Mean Girls premiere proves she's still a ‘regulation hottie’

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    Lindsay Lohan showed up to support the next generation of plastics and, I have to say it, she looked so fetch. The OG Cady Heron attended the New York City premiere of the Mean Girls musical on January 8, wearing a slick black dress that showed just the right amount of skin. This is how it’s done, kids.

    Jason Mendez/Getty Images

    Lohan’s gown was long-sleeved with sharp shoulder pads for an element of structure, with a mostly open back and deep cutouts at the waist to spice up the otherwise understated look. For a finishing touch, the dress also featured a crystal belt, which matched the clasp on Lohan’s black clutch bag, as well as her chandelier earrings.

    The actor kept her styling classic, wearing her signature red hair Jessica Rabbit style, with a deep side part and Old Hollywood curls. Peaking out from the front slit of the skirt, you can see that Lohan completed the ensemble with pointed toe pumps with an ankle strap.

    Lindsay Lohan

    John Lamparski

    Lindsay Lohan certainly has not been shying away from Mean Girls nostalgia lately. Just a few months prior, she and her former costars reunited to shoot a commercial for Walmart, in which they played grown-up versions of their iconic 2004 characters.

    Because 20 years later, Cady Heron is still, as Janis Ian said in the original film, a “regulation hottie.”

    This feature originally appeared on Glamour US.

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    Kathleen Walsh

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  • Reneé Rapp and Megan Thee Stallion’s “Not My Fault” Seeks to Vindicate Regina George For Being a Bitch

    Reneé Rapp and Megan Thee Stallion’s “Not My Fault” Seeks to Vindicate Regina George For Being a Bitch

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    Just as Regina George likely would have been praised for her burgeoning badonkadonk had the original been made in the present, so, too, would she have also been praised for being a bitch. Or what Latrice Royale calls, “Being In Total Control of Herself.” In fact, that’s exactly what Reneé Rapp (who plays Regina in both the musical version and latest film edition of Mean Girls) and Megan Thee Stallion seek to achieve with their single, “Not My Fault.” A line, of course, taken directly from Lindsay Lohan as Cady Heron’s mouth when she tells Janis Ian (Lizzy Caplan), “It’s not my fault you’re, like, in love with me or something.” This narcissistic dig itself borrowed from Regina (Rachel McAdams) when she told Cady that Janis was, like, “obsessed” with her when they were friends back in junior high. Proving that, in the art of “mean girl’ing,” the student surpassed the teacher as Cady came up with a better way to phrase it.

    Alas, back in 2004, it was frowned upon to be an outright bitch. To be sure, it was really only the gays—ahead of the curve on trends as usual—who revered the cunty women of this world (see: that scene in Truth or Dare when one of Madonna’s dancers gushes, “I love it when she’s mean”). As time has gone on, and views/attitudes about how a girl should “be” have evolved, it’s now actually become more frowned upon to be “nice” as a woman than it is to be a so-called bitch (a.k.a. acting the way men do without consequence all the time). To that point, when a woman is “nice”—better known as “meek”—she’s presently more likely to be accused of perpetuating the vicious cycle of (white) silence that has allowed patriarchy to thrive unchecked for so long. 

    So it is that with the “upgrade” of Mean Girls into the later twenty-first century (which hardly means that it can ever compare to the original), an according soundtrack upgrade has come with it. Thus, aligning the “woke” messaging of the “new” movie with the new music. Enter Megan Thee Stallion (no stranger to Mean Girls homages after her 2021 Coach ad campaign) to assist the “new queen bee” (but, honestly, there is no replacement for Rachel McAdams), Reneé Rapp, on the rather flaccid “Not My Fault.” Indeed, it sounds like something from the Meghan Trainor reject pile, and far beneath Megan Thee Stallion’s usual collaborations. And, speaking of far beneath someone, the recent appalling Mean Girls x Wal-Mart commercial featuring the original cast was noticeably missing the presence of McAdams as Regina (because, really, what sensible person would want to be part of such grim fan fiction?). Soon after the release of the none too subtle Trojan horse for capitalism via millennial nostalgia, McAdams had no problem explaining her absence by remarking, “I guess I wasn’t that excited about doing a commercial if I’m being totally honest. A movie sounded awesome, but I’ve never done commercials, and it just didn’t feel like my bag.” Translation: “that’s the ugliest f-ing commercial concept I’ve ever seen.” 

    The same goes for the first single to represent the latest Mean Girls Soundtrack, with Rapp seeming to have taken overt inspiration from Britney Spears’ anachronistic “Mind Your Business.” While Britney sing-chants, “Where she at? Where she at? Where she at? Where she at? Where she at?/There she go, there she go, there she go, there she go, there she go/What she do? What she do? What she do?” Rapp simplifies it down to, “Where she at? (where she at?)/What she doin’? (what she doin’?)/Who she with and where she from?” Just another vexing manner in which Gen Z feels obliged to copy millennials (despite constantly branding them as cringe) while seeming to genuinely believe they’ve come up with something “unique.” However, the accompanying video, directed by Mia Barnes, doesn’t bother pretending to be anything innovative, mostly stealing its costuming from the Barbie-meets-Pam-Anderson-in-the-90s playbook. 

    With the majority of the “narrative” flashing to scenes from the movie in between Rapp and Thee Stallion parading around in their aforementioned Barbie/Pamela pink stylings (complete with furry hats), there’s also a long scene of Rapp getting “Regina George” tattooed in various fonts on various parts of her body. Another moment shows Megan and Reneé standing between two rows of Regina-inspired mannequins before taking baseball bats to them. Almost as if, in some faux “poetic” way, they’re trying to tell us that they’re destroying the “old” Regina George (“Sorry, the old Regina can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Because she’s dead”). The one who was lambasted for being a “bitch” and then decided to amend her ways at the end of the film by channeling her rage into lacrosse. 

    Rapp confirms this “rebranding” with the lyrics, “I’m not on the same shit from before/I can’t take this pettiness, now I’m bored, uh-huh/We can share, babe, there’s enough for us all [an obvious nod to Cady sharing the pieces of her seemingly endless tiara]/Told you who I am and what it is, that’s not my fault.” In other words, she won’t be apologizing for simply being her undiluted self. Then again, no one is much interested in that self when she’s standing next to Megan Thee Stallion, who viewers have to wait a full one minute and forty-four seconds to hear deliver her verse (making it somewhat awkward to see her dance and prance around next to Rapp for that entire time). Rising to the occasion of embodying her “Black Regina George” status, she appears in a tank top with holes cut out at the nipples to reveal a purple bra à la 2004 Regina after Janis, Damian (Daniel Franzese) and Cady fail to sabotage her outfit because she ends up “making it fashion.”

    Megan then carries the song out of the bowels it began in by rapping, “I’m a mood, borin’ whores gotta Pinterest me.” This being the crux of the song’s statement about how “bitches” are really just women who express themselves without fear of reprisal (including the usual “comeuppance” of being called a bitch, especially by men). So it is that Thee Stallion also adds, “It’s funny how the mean girl open all the doors” and “I got influence, they do anything I endorse/I run shit, to be a bad bitch is a sport.” And an art. One that, to Tina Fey’s chagrin, cannot be topped by the original gangster of mean girl’ing that is Rachel McAdams’ Regina. Who Megan and Reneé once again pay tribute to at the end of the video by sipping from matching teacups, with Megan’s reading, “Boo You” and Rapp’s reading, of course, “Whore.” 

    But, like “bitch,” “whore” now has a much more positive connotation than it did in 2004. That wasn’t the case when Regina was using it in a more “SWERF”-sounding than sex-positive manner when directing it at Karen (Amanda Seyfried). But then, this is also the girl who didn’t want to invite a potential lesbian to her birthday party. So yeah, it’s much harder for Regina to be mean in the same way in the present as she was in the past. Which, in the end, invites the question: how much of a bitch can she really be amid post-woke culture?

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis hint at a Freaky Friday sequel

    Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis hint at a Freaky Friday sequel

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    First the Mean Girls reunion commercial and now this? Lindsay Lohan has officially reunited with Freaky Friday costar and on-screen mom Jamie Lee Curtis.

    Before she took on the role of Cady Heron in Tina Fey’s 2004 masterpiece, Lohan played the Curtis’ rebel daughter in the iconic body-swap comedy, which has somehow remained untouched by Hollywood’s obsession with reboots, sequels and musical adaptations… For now, at least.

    Twenty years after the 2003 release of Freaky Friday, Curtis documented a recent reunion with her on-screen daughter while hinting at a possible follow-up movie.

    “Too late. YOU GREW UP and SO BEAUTIFULLY,” Curtis captioned a selfie with Lohan on 10 November. “Well, it’s Friday, and the strike is over so hopefully, we can switch places again in the near future!”

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    Jamie Lee Curtis actually pitched her own Freaky Friday 2 premise in October 2022, petitioning Hollywood to let her play a “sexy grandma” alongside Lohan. “Let me be the grandma, let me be the old grandma who switches places, so then Lindsay gets to be the sexy grandma who’s still happy with Mark Harmon in all the ways you would be happy with Mark Harmon,” Curtis said during an appearance on The View. “I would like to see Lindsay be the hot grandma, and I would like to see me try to deal with toddlers today. I want to be a helicopter parent in today’s world.”

    A month later, Lohan confirmed that Curtis reached out to her about the idea while she was filming another project. “Jamie Lee Curtis writes you, and you just get excited and distracted immediately, so I had to bring myself back down to earth,” Lohan told Jimmy Fallon. “And then she said, Freaky Friday 2, and I got more excited.”

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    Emily Tannenbaum

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  • The Grim Fan Fiction Presented by the Mean Girls x Wal-Mart Commercial

    The Grim Fan Fiction Presented by the Mean Girls x Wal-Mart Commercial

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    In 2023, Wal-Mart has so “generously” allowed us to catch a glimpse into the lives of where the mean girls from 2004 are now. Not only that, but this version of 2023 ostensibly exists in an alternate realm where the name Karen (and Karen Smith, no less) isn’t something worthy of calling attention to. Not at any point during the extremely lengthy commercial (almost a full two minutes [an “epic” in the realm of advertising], which means Wal-Mart really shelled out for it). Though there were plenty of other “plot points” that attention was called to in terms of assessing where some of the Mean Girls characters have ended up. And, let’s just say it, the assumptions to be made are rather grim. 

    For a start, Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan) is still hanging out with Gretchen (Lacey Chabert) and Karen (Amanda Seyfried). Are we really to believe that Cady would have remained friends with anyone from The Plastics (particularly since she informs viewers at the end of the movie, “In case you’re wondering, The Plastics broke up”)? And if one person was worth remaining friends with, wouldn’t it have been Regina? If for no other reason than she had a mind of her own. Or, as Damian (Daniel Franzese) said, “She’s the queen bee, the star. Those other two are just her little workers.” Later on in Mean Girls, Cady marvels, “Was I the new queen bee?” It seems that, for the purposes of this Wal-Mart commercial, yes, she is. Even if she’s now a guidance counselor. Arguably one of the bleakest aspects about this flash forward to the mean girls’ future. That, and it seems that Janis Ian (Lizzy Caplan) isn’t friends with her or Damian anymore, having likely moved on to bigger and better things outside of the Chicago area. 

    Perhaps this is why Cady has resorted to a continued friendship with Gretchen and Karen. The latter of whom appears to be doing a “weather report” for no one’s benefit but her own—and yeah, it’s a bit sad that she’s still skulking around the high school to do it. They should have at least shown her doing “weather” for a local channel, and maybe even alluding to the climate change factors that have become unignorable in the years since 2004. Though, somehow, the next scene transition occurs by showing Karen on the big screen of Kevin Gnapoor’s (Rajiv Surendra) living room, even though it would make no sense for Karen to broadcast from North Shore High School if she was a legitimate “weather girl.”

    But that’s not supposed to be the viewer’s focus as the camera whip-pans to Kevin’s son holding a twenty-five-dollar (because of course the price flashes on the screen) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles RC in his hands (with a Hot Wheels and Barbie box in the background, to boot). After all, it’s so important that Generation Alpha understands the importance of material goods, too. That job has already been done on Gen Z, who, although positioned as “climate-conscious” and “embracing of all sexual and ethnic identifications,” ain’t really none of that based on what one actually sees outside of think pieces concerning said birth cohort. Kevin then half-heartedly tells his son, “Don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang, Kevin Jr.,” as though he has little will left to believe that himself. And clearly, if Janis isn’t in this scene, it means she dumped his ass along with Cady and Damian’s, too. 

    As for Gretchen, she’s apparently been a young mom since roughly 2007 (if we’re to believe her daughter is sixteen, and Mean Girls came out in 2004, when Gretchen would have been sixteen herself). Not only does she have a high school-age daughter named Amber who seems more Regina than Gretchen, she also has two younger kids as well. All of whom are Asian, though there’s no sign of the Asian husband she presumably married as a result of immersing herself in an Asian clique at the end of Mean Girls (this being a hyper-specific detail for the Wal-Mart commercial to include). 

    Cady’s life also appears rather empty based on her purchases of “Apple AirPods and Legos,” though that doesn’t seem to stop one stalker-y student from wanting to imitate that purchase the way Bethany Byrd (Stefanie Drummond) did with Regina George’s Army pants and flip flops. It’s never really made clear if Cady does have kids of her own (hence, the reason for buying Legos?), but it is clear that she has no compunction about displaying a pathetic mug on her desk that reads, “Best Guidance Counselor Ever.” Perhaps this level of patheticness is her karma for calling Ms. Norbury (Tina Fey) a “sad old drug pusher” back when she was a student instead of a “teacher.” And maybe her additional karma for all that high school fuckery was not ending up with Aaron Samuels (Jonathan Bennett), who is nowhere to be found…perhaps because the real-life Aaron Samuels turned out to be gay (which is why he was more willing to appear as that character in Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next” video). 

    Nonetheless, Cady does her best to maintain “plucky” narrations as she remarks, “Even as the guidance counselor, I was still getting schooled.” Yes, by the Gen Z tits who are even more asshole-ish than millennials were (this despite the former’s reputation for “tolerance”). So while Gretchen appears to have an absentee Asian husband as she lives out her tragic lawnmower mom life, Cady is working for a middling wage at the same high school she attended twenty years ago. Maybe the only person with a more depressing fate is Damian, who, for whatever reason, is working the projector for the Winter Talent Show. 

    Possibly the one thing that could be more heinous is if Karen ended up marrying her “first cousin,” Seth Mosakowski, and having inbred, even dumber children with him. In any case, there’s obviously a reason why Regina George is no longer consorting with any of these “losers.” Because, evidently, she didn’t peak in high school as expected…the way all the others appear to have done just that. One would instead like to believe that she and Janis have finally consummated their long overdue lesbian relationship and are proud owners of a kinky sex shop that also sells lacrosse gear (which itself can double as sex toys) somewhere in L.A.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Gen Zers Think Millennials Are Cringe, But Still Want to Emulate Them in the Mean Girls Commercial

    Gen Zers Think Millennials Are Cringe, But Still Want to Emulate Them in the Mean Girls Commercial

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    Apart from being one of the most overt pieces of capitalist propaganda to wield pop culture in recent memory, the Mean Girls x Wal-Mart commercial is a stark reminder not just of Gen Z contempt for millennials, but for their simultaneous desire to emulate them. After all, there’s a fine line between hate and love, as it is said. And, to quote Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan), it’s not millennials’ fault that Gen Z “is like in love with them or something.” At least, if one is to go by the obsession with their era (even when trying to deride it through an over-the-top condemnation of skinny jeans and side parts). 

    Within the absurd universe of 2023-era Mean Girls, Gen Z is somehow the spawn of Gretchen Wieners (Lacey Chabert), while Cady (Lindsay Lohan) and Karen (Amanda Seyfried) don’t seem to have any clear claim on children of their own (unless it’s the other two members of Amber Wieners’ Gen Z clique). And maybe Cady is too busy “nurturing” youths in her role as a guidance counselor anyway to bother with children of her own. Which brings us to a scene designed to make her look out of touch in an “old” way rather than a “cute” one (as she did in 2004 whilst talking to Aaron Samuels [Jonathan Bennett]). Since everything is “cute” when you’re young enough…as society has drummed into our collective minds by now. This occurs when, sitting behind her desk dispensing “guidance” to a duo of mean girls, she once again says, “Grool.”

    The duo looks at her like she’s a “Martian” (as Regina called her) after she utters, apropos of nothing, “Grool.” At least when she said it in the actual movie, it was a conflated response to Aaron declaring of his Halloween party invite, “That flier admits one person only, so…don’t bring some other guy with you.” She started to say “great,” then “cool”—ergo, “Grool.” But how would these Gen Z putas living their far more “glamorous” life be expected to know anything about that “lore.” So naturally, they look up from their phones long enough to respond with disgust, “Huh?” and “What’s ‘grool’?” Cady assures, “It’s nothing.” 

    Almost as “nothing” as Gen Z claims millennials are to them despite constantly turning to Mean Girls as a behavioral bible and/or source of 00s yearning/“aesthetic” inspiration. And in the Wal-Mart commercial, that emulation comes both behaviorally and sartorially as Gretchen’s daughter and her friends wear the same pastels and plaids as the original Plastics did. Even though Cady was sure to tell us at the end of Mean Girls (after Damian [Daniel Franzese] delightedly warns of a freshman trio of girls, “Check it out, Junior Plastics”), “And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace…well, let’s just say we knew how to take care of it.” Cue Cady imagining a school bus running the trio over and then assuring, “Just kidding.” But, of course, there are surely many millennials by now who have had such violent and hostile fantasies about cartoonishly ageist Gen Z. Particularly since, as we see exhibited by the Gen Z Plastics of the Wal-Mart commercial, they’re essentially grafting what millennials did while simultaneously critiquing them. Mainly for being “old” and for having never experienced the horrors of modern-day smartphone/social media life in their teens the way Gen Z is now. 

    To that point, Gretchen has happily taken on a Mrs. George-esque (Amy Poehler) persona by becoming not like a regular mom, but a cool mom as she sets up the ring light and camera to film Amber and her bitch friends doing limply-executed dances, presumably for TikTok. Amber then snaps at her mother when she says, “This is gonna be so fetch.” Amber’s response? “Stop trying to make fetch happen, Mom. It’s still not gonna happen.” Gretchen looks deeply wounded by this, for surely it’s gotta sting more coming from her daughter than Regina George. Her daughter, mind you, who knows nothing about millennial culture because not only did she not live through it, but everything about it has been diluted and bastardized by TikTok. Including Mean Girls itself. 

    This usually extends to the oft-referenced Winter Talent Show scene, which is recreated here as well (albeit with “smart” flat-heeled boots in lieu of stiletto-heeled ones). Even though Gretchen (and Cady/Karen, for that matter) would have needed to get pregnant right after high school, circa 2007-2009, to have a high school-age daughter. The probability of this seems rather unlikely (unless you’re Lorelai Gilmore), considering her Type A personality and “good” college/“respectable” career path. Even if having kids and marrying a “similar-minded/pedigreed” man was also at the forefront of her mind, that wouldn’t have been until, realistically, at least her mid-twenties. But, for the sake of capitalist propaganda, we must suspend our disbelief as Gretchen (joined by two more children who also appear to be Asian, which means she definitely didn’t marry Jason [Daniel DeSanto]), Cady and Karen watch a “less hot version” of themselves perform the same song and dance that they did “back in the day.” To far greater ennui…even though Gretchen takes over for Mrs. George on the filming front. 

    By the end of the commercial, the movie has been so perverted from its original self that the Burn Book pages plastered all over the school have been transformed into ads for Wal-Mart Black Friday deals instead of salacious pieces of gossip (many of which wouldn’t fly in the Gen Z climate of the present, where jokes about people being fat, or slutty, or statutory rapists would probably be deemed too insensitive).

    And yet, while millennial messaging has been “massaged” to suit a Gen Z demographic in this commercial (not just with the Burn Book being nothing but a “coupon book,” but also Gretchen having her son play with a Barbie), it is still Gen Z trying to be “analog” in the end by engaging with printouts. This being just one of the many ways, throughout the commercial, in which they’ve surrendered to their worst, most “cringe” fear: “being millennial.”

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Mean Girls x Wal-Mart Commercial: A None Too Subtle Trojan Horse for Capitalism Via Millennial Nostalgia

    Mean Girls x Wal-Mart Commercial: A None Too Subtle Trojan Horse for Capitalism Via Millennial Nostalgia

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    As the “reunion” that everyone’s been waiting for, it was practically inevitable that the Mean Girls “assembly” (high school pun intended) would disappoint. Mainly because, yes, the so-called reunion is a fucking Wal-Mart commercial. That said, it actually seems as though, rather than people being disappointed by it, they’re somehow delighted. Dare one say…“tickled.” But the reason behind that appears to be less about content and more about an increasing fiendishness for nostalgia, especially among millennials. And no, it’s not because they’re, as Gen Z would falsely bill them, “old,” but because it’s glaringly apparent that times in 2004 were far more bearable—fun, even (remember fun?)—than times in 2023. 

    Of course, naysayers and “pro-progressive” types would argue that life was so much worse back then (see: the media manipulation and vilification of women like Britney Spears). That we’ve come “such a long way” (or “such a long way,” as Gretchen Wieners [Lacey Chabert] would utter it) in our perception of things (“thing” being the word that still describes how men see women) and our “tolerance for others” (read: white people in print and media making flaccid attempts at “inclusivity”). But the truth is, psychologically, society has gone further back into the Dark Ages with its mentality—particularly toward women and minorities (who are only viewed as minorities by the white people who only make up about eight percent of the world’s population). So yeah, a throwback to 2004 is bound to feel pretty fucking great right now. Like sweet candy compared to the tasteless gruel (a riff on “grool,” obviously) being served up on a daily basis in this part of the century. 

    What’s more, 2004 was still within a prime era for the U.S. in terms of continuing to hold up capitalism as what George W. Bush would later call “the best system ever devised.” To that end, one would like to believe the Mean Girls x Wal-Mart commercial is a wink-wink nod to the Bush years’ unironic exaltation of capitalism, but no, that’s clearly not the case. In fact, this capitalistic propaganda posing as “Mean Girls nostalgia” at its worst treats the viewers as though they themselves still live in 2004, when it was easier to pretend “deal shopping” for Black Friday isn’t the very thing that’s helped to make 2023 even more of a dystopia compared to 2004. Or that the presence of Missy Elliott (whose song, “Pass That Dutch,” plays repeatedly throughout the original Mean Girls, therefore this commercial) spelling out “D-E-A-L-S”  instead of “K-L-A” (that’s how Coach Carr [Dwayne Hill] spells “chlamydia”) somehow makes the human predilection for consumerism more “kosher.” As does, according to the commercial creators, Gretchen Wieners replacing Regina George (Rachel McAdams) in the silver Lexus convertible. Except it’s now a brandless convertible of a nondescript tone.

    That’s right, since Rachel McAdams announced simply that she “didn’t want to” be part of the little puff piece for capitalism, they got Chabert to fill in for one of McAdams’ key moments from the film. So in lieu of Regina pulling up to the soccer field and shouting, “Get in loser, we’re going shopping,” Gretchen does. And no, it’s not to pick up Cady (Lindsay Lohan) and Karen (Amanda Seyfried), but rather, her own high school-age daughter (which doesn’t quite mathematically track), Amber Wieners. Amber stands on the field with her clique comprised of the next generation mean girls, and is absolutely mortified (could it be because Gen Z is supposed to be more environmentally concerned? No, it’s because, no matter what era you’re in, parents are always humiliating) when Gretchen cries out, “Get in sweetie, we’re going deals shopping!” Even though the back of her car is already piled high with plenty of shit from Wal-Mart. Because what it the American message if not, even to this day: excess! 

    So it is that the Mean Girls x Wal-Mart “partnership” wields nostalgia like a seductive and deadly weapon to keep encouraging the very capitalistic behavior that will be humanity’s undoing. Behavior that millennials once got to relish in the 00s without half as much guilt about it as there is now (and mainly only because of Greta Thunberg). Yet that’s the the thing, isn’ it? There’s still clearly not enough guilt or compunction about it if a commercial like this can exist…and continue to be so gleefully embraced. The same goes for the abominable Menulog commercial starring Latto and Christina Aguilera. Both employ the same method of assaulting the audience with “eye candy” and familiar 00s nostalgia (via Christina Aguilera) to distract from the obvious point: we want you to keep engaging in the same buying patterns as the very generation you and Gen Z are constantly railing against—baby boomers. And in this scenario, it makes all the sense in the world that millennials are also known as echo boomers. Just look at the way Cady, Gretchen and Karen are living. That is to say, in the exact same way as their own parents. 

    The warm reception toward this commercial (and its tainting of the original movie) is, accordingly, a sign of how desperately so many people want to deny the reality of now. One in which the idea of Cady, Gretchen and Karen (though, pointedly, not Regina) continuing to carry out the same toxic consumerist cycle of the generation before them is a comfort rather than a horror show. After all, millennials were supposed to be different—they were supposed to want something more (besides more material goods). And yet, like the yippies of the 1960s who became yuppies in the 1980s (see: Jerry Rubin), millennials, if we’re to go by this commercial, have gladly sold out in the same way to keep the very system that has failed them (perhaps more than anyone) going. 

    It does seem fitting, in this regard that McAdams, the lone Gen Xer of the group (a.k.a. the “eldest” of the quartet at forty-four) opted to opt out. Perhaps old enough to know she doesn’t really want to be part of this schlock under the pretense of it being something “for the fans” when, obviously, it’s for nobody’s benefit other than the capitalist agenda’s, which has been using pop culture for decades upon decades to promote its purpose. This brings us to the fact that a “Mean Girls” commercial has already been recently used to promote a brand: Coach. Yes, back in 2021, Megan Thee Stallion stepped into the role of Regina George (because McAdams so patently doesn’t want to) to help recreate the introduction scene to the leader of The Plastics and, of course, sell some overpriced handbags. 

    Then there was a 2022 Allbirds commercial wherein Lohan, as usual, capitalized on Mean Girls (one of her only viable movies) to sell some shoes by peppering in “subtle” references to the movie. Like how she was a mathlete in high school. She then goes to pick out a pair of pink running shoes and says, “Well, it is Wednesday.” More “hardy-har-har” allusions arrive when she adds, “These don’t just look cute. They’re made with natural materials…always avoid the plastics,” followed by, “Bouncy. Perfect for a queen bee like Lindsay Lohan.” The point being, it’s fairly evident that, for whatever reason, Mean Girls has become a go-to for bolstering consumer faith in capitalism. And again, that’s arguably because 2004 was such a peak time for worshiping it. But what’s past doesn’t have to be present…so long as you’re not seduced by it. Therein lies the catch.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • ‘Mean Girls’ Cast Reunites In New Ad

    ‘Mean Girls’ Cast Reunites In New Ad

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    Nostalgia is so fetch. Continue reading…

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    Cody Mcintosh

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  • Lindsay Lohan Proves She Isn’t a Regular Mom, She’s a Disposable Underwear Mom

    Lindsay Lohan Proves She Isn’t a Regular Mom, She’s a Disposable Underwear Mom

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    Recently crowned queen of normalcy (or as normal as you can get while living in Dubai and being the face of a designer Crocs collaboration) Lindsay Lohan is following up her normie pregnancy announcement and normie baby shower with a normie (though sponsored, because remember, she was once one of the teens that rained all over culture) first postpartum pic.

    Lohan and husband Bader Shammas recently welcomed their first child, baby boy Luai (much to Jamie Lee Curtis’ glee), and Lohan once again showed that she’s one of The People by wearing the great big underwear favored by recently postpartum people in an Instagram photo. It’s a real IYKYK, and she certainly Ks.

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    “I am so proud of what this body was able to accomplish during these months of pregnancy and now, recovery,” she wrote in the caption. “Having a baby is the greatest joy in the world! My OOTD lately is my @fridamom postpartum underwear.”

    But, lest we forget that she is La Lohan, and that we once saw her wearing army pants and flip flops so we bought army pants and flip flops, she follows up her underwear spon a little vintage Mean Girls moment.

    “Because I’m not a regular mom, I’m a postpartum mom,” the caption concludes.

    High-rise disposable underwear: so fetch.

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    Kase Wickman

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  • Inside Crocs’ Crazy Collabs Amidst Successful Rebrand

    Inside Crocs’ Crazy Collabs Amidst Successful Rebrand

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    We are in the middle of a shoe renaissance. People care immensely what is on your feet – but mores that you put effort into choosing a trendy shoe as opposed to the brand itself. There was once a time when you would be the punchline of a joke if you wore New Balances or Crocs out…but this is 2023, anything is possible.

    After climbing their way back to the top of the rubber shoe pyramid, Crocs has had the strongest rebrand of any shoe I’ve seen. No longer do you see the Jibbitz-ladened shoe and think ew or associate them with the nurse who helped take your tonsils out...No, Crocs are now the shoe of the summer alongside the once-labeled “prehistoric Birkenstock”. It’s 2010 all over again.

    With a fire Barbie collab featuring a pink chunky heeled Croc, we’ve learned that any shoe is admissible in this day and age. It’s not about how ugly it is, if you can argue that it’s peak fashion. But that was just the beginning of relevant collaborations pertaining to Crocs this summer.

    Starting with their collaboration with fashion house, MCM, Crocs debuted the Mega Crush Croc alongside photos of our favorite Y2K movie star- Lindsay Lohan. The black and gold platform Croc is chunky, emblazoned with gold from the siding to the Jibbitz themselves. And suddenly everyone forgot that Crocs were ever once mocked.

    It’s far from the only news-worthy collab from Crocs this summer, as they just announced their version of controversy-seeking MSCHF’s Big Red Boots: The Big Yellow Boot.

    Big Yellow Boot Crocs x MSCHF collab

    MSCHF

    Dropping on August 9, the shoe will retail for $450 and looks like a mixture of Spongebob and your favorite piece of cheese. However, there is no doubt that high fashion icons will be sporting the boot, as it was debuted at Paris Fashion Week. They even had the Paris Hilton model them, which can only indicate a sold-out line.

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    Jai Phillips

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  • Vanity Fair’s “It’s Raining Teens” Cover at 20: Where Are They Now?

    Vanity Fair’s “It’s Raining Teens” Cover at 20: Where Are They Now?

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    See what cover stars Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, the Olsen twins, and more have been up to since their iconic VF photo spread.

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    Savannah Walsh

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  • Lindsay Lohan welcomes 1st child with husband Bader Shammas – National | Globalnews.ca

    Lindsay Lohan welcomes 1st child with husband Bader Shammas – National | Globalnews.ca

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    Lindsay Lohan is a mom!

    A representative for the 37-year-old actress confirmed news of the baby boy’s birth to People Magazine on Monday.

    “Lindsay Lohan and her financier husband, Bader Shammas, welcomed a beautiful, healthy son named Luai. The family is over the moon in love,” the rep said in a statement.

    Luai was born in Dubai, where Lohan and Shammas permanently reside. The exact time and date of the baby’s birth has not yet been revealed.

    Luai is an Arabic name meaning “shield or protector.”

    The Mean Girls actor first announced her pregnancy in March when she shared a photo of a baby’s onesie with the words “Coming soon…”

    “We are blessed and excited!” Lohan wrote.

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    Since announcing her pregnancy, the actor has shared occasional glimpses of her growing baby bump. In May, Lohan was pictured lounging poolside in a black, one-piece bathing suit.

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    In June, Lohan told Allure that she “can’t wait” to be a mom. She said she cried often throughout her pregnancy.

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    “Happy tears. That’s just who I am. Though now, it’s probably baby emotion. It’s overwhelming in a good way,” Lohan said.

    Lohan married Shammas, a financier who lives in Dubai, in April 2022. The pair celebrated their one-year wedding anniversary this year.

    Shammas proposed in Utah while Lohan was filming her 2022 Netflix original film Falling for Christmas. Little is known about the notoriously private couple.

    Lohan, who began acting as a child in movies like The Parent Trap, has had a roller-coaster career of highs and lows. She was relentlessly followed by paparazzi in the late 2000s and early 2010s and had numerous, well-documented legal troubles, including arrests for drunk driving, reckless driving and shoplifting.

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    Lohan starred in several early 2000s cult classic films such as Mean Girls, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen and Freaky Friday.

    &copy 2023 Global News, a division of Corus Entertainment Inc.

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    Sarah Do Couto

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  • Lindsay Lohan And Nestig Partner On An Ocean-Inspired Nursery Collection

    Lindsay Lohan And Nestig Partner On An Ocean-Inspired Nursery Collection

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    Ever since Lindsay Lohan announced her pregnancy in March 2023, fans have been anticipating her latest project, a baby boy with husband Bader Shammas. No one is more excited about this than Sara Adam Slywka, cofounder of Nestig, which recently collaborated on a line of ocean-themed nursery accessories with the actress.

    Slywka tells me, “Lindsay is such an icon, and designing this collection with her was an absolute dream! I just had my first child a few months ago so as we met to begin the design process it was really sweet to be in such a similar mindset as a new mom and soon-to-be new mom. She knew exactly the feeling she wanted to create in her nursery and it was a joy to work with our design team to bring her vision to life in such a dreamy and delightful way.”

    Here’s what you need to know about this collaboration:

    The Nestig Aesthetic

    With a warm yet modern approach to nursery design, Nestig is best known for its mid century modern style cribs. Slywka tells me, “We talk a lot about everyday magic and that’s definitely our ultimate aesthetic goal. We design furniture and decor for design-minded parents, so everything is very fresh, modern and functional, but we never want to sacrifice that element of childlike wonder.”

    Featuring rugs, a mobile, and crib sheets among other things, the partnership with Lohan is a fun extension of the line. “I think that’s exactly what we captured in this collection with Lindsay—it feels like her own clean, peaceful decor style but with a playfulness that immediately makes you smile,” says Slywka. “The collection not only a true expression of her style, but each item is handmade with the highest quality and attention to detail—the perfect addition to any nursery!”

    Lohan also really enjoyed creating these charming accessories. She reveals, “I wanted everything to be calming, but also playful, really tapping into childlike wonder.”

    A Perfectly Coordinated Collection

    Every piece coordinates together making it easy for parents to decorate the entire nursery in one fell swoop.

    One of the most giftable items in the line is the Aviator Mobile. Featuring a plush airplane, cloud, and sun—it is made by artisans in Brazil and is handcrafted from wood, felt, and wool.

    The Aviator Rug complements the mobile perfectly. Colored with non-toxic dyes and organic cotton, it’s easy for babies to tottle on safely. Better yet, it’s machine-washable. Most parents will appreciate this extra level of durability.

    On the other hand, the Breeze Rug has a more modern look than the Aviator rug does. It is also made with non-toxic dyes and organic cotton. Choose from two sizes— 4 X 6 and 5 X 8.

    There are two wallcoverings in the collection, the Morning Light Wall Mural and the Shore Wallpaper. The mural features a seaside scene that adds charm to any nursery or playroom. The Shore Wallpaper has a textured yet hand-painted design in a herringbone pattern. This wallpaper could easily be used in an older child’s room or even a bathroom.

    The Set Sail Sheet Set has two fitted crib sheets. These sailboat and sunshine yellow sheets were handmade by local artisans in Brazil using OEKO-TEX certified (non-toxic) dyes.

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    Amanda Lauren, Contributor

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  • Lindsay Lohan Shares Gorgeous Behind-The-Scenes Snap From New Peter Thomas Roth Beauty Campaign

    Lindsay Lohan Shares Gorgeous Behind-The-Scenes Snap From New Peter Thomas Roth Beauty Campaign

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    By Emerson Pearson.
    Published:

    Lindsay Lohan mesmerized in a behind-the-scenes snap from her new beauty ad campaign on Sunday.

    The 36-year-old “Freaky Friday” star wore a robe as she shared a mirror selfie on Instagram while being accompanied by a glam team as they prepared her for her Peter Thomas Roth ad campaign.

    Lohan flashed a dashing smile with renowned makeup artist Kristofer Buckle and celebrity hairstylist Danielle Priano.


    READ MORE:
    Jamie Lee Curtis Is ‘SO Ready’ To Reunite With Lindsay Lohan For ‘Freaky Friday’ Sequel

    Lindsay Lohan’s Instagram
    — Photo: @lindsaylohan/Instagram

    The “Mean Girls” star charmed in a filtered snap, flaunting a pink monochromatic makeup look paired with voluminous eyelashes.

    The pregnant “Herbie: Fully Loaded” star, expecting her first child with husband Bader Shammas, dazzled with her signature fiery red tresses in silky waves.

    Lohan plays an office executive in the cheeky campaign as she dons the Peter Thomas Roth eye patches. “Under eye-baggage? Not iconic,” she says into the camera.


    READ MORE:
    Lindsay Lohan Shares Brand New Baby Bump Photos: ‘Good Times’

    In still images for the advertisements, the star poses in a series of blue, gold, and green ensembles, mirroring the hydra-gel eye patches in corresponding colours showcased in the campaign.

    “Honey, you never looked better,” says the former Disney star, referencing her notorious line from 1998’s “The Parent Trap,” which shot Lohan to international superstardom as a child actress.

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    Emerson Pearson

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  • Not Commenting on People’s Bodies Would Eradicate Way Too Many Industries: Why the Ariana Grande Body Shaming Speech Is Ultimately Hollow

    Not Commenting on People’s Bodies Would Eradicate Way Too Many Industries: Why the Ariana Grande Body Shaming Speech Is Ultimately Hollow

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    To exist is, unfortunately, to be perceived. And, in this world, there’s no shortage of people who would like to comment on their perception of you. Being a celebrity takes that phenomenon to an nth degree that no civilian can likely imagine. However, it is (and long has been) considered part and parcel of “the fame game.” For if a person wants to be in the public eye for the sake of disseminating whatever their talent is to the masses, the inevitable fallout is the curse of public opinion. Not everyone is going to “love” you or automatically embrace everything about you, least of all when it comes to appearance.

    Lately, the frequent criticism of fans themselves is that they are not “real” fans if they deign to condemn anything about their so-called god. That’s where the modern fandom-fame dynamic has gone terribly askew. For the die-hard fans (of a Swarm variety) are of the belief that no “ill word” should ever be spoken of the “deity” they worship. This extends to fault-finding of any kind—read: straightforward perceptions of the body. Remarking on if a celebrity has lost or gained weight is at the top of the list (as Britney once put it, “I’m Mrs. She’s Too Big Now She’s Too Thin”). This includes Grande’s increasingly “heroin chic” look. And yes, she was already objectively thin to begin with. Such “objectivity,” however, is something that Grande wants people to feel “less comfortable” commenting on, even if it’s coming from a “well-intentioned” place. Which it was, as what prompted Grande to release a video chastising this form of body shaming in the first place was the barrage of comments that came in the wake of her cameo at Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Club in London, where she and Cynthia Erivo went to see their fellow Wicked co-star, Jeff Goldblum (who will be, of all things, the Wizard of Oz), play the piano. Alas, all eyes were focused on her ever-diminishing body shape rather than the music.

    A similar incident occurred in May of 2005, when Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan (then in greater cahoots perhaps because of a shared mutual contempt for Paris Hilton) were photographed looking utterly anorexic as they swam in their floor-length dresses with arms that mirrored those of a starving African child. Cue the onslaught of tabloid headlines. While Richie would later state that her weight loss was a result of stress and anxiety rather than any eating disorder, she still admitted of her 00s self, “I see a girl that is obviously going through something and is much too skinny [and probably on drugs, went the unspoken conclusion].” Lohan, in turn, copped to battling with bulimia (and drug addiction) around this time. Both women had no issue in discussing their bodies or addressing people’s continued concerns about the message their shared (lack of) figure was sending. At the height of tabloid “culture,” maybe it was too “normalized” to be okay with dissecting headlines that dissected one’s body. But, at the same time, Lohan and Richie were in on the joke. And relished the then-revered “skinny bitch” physique. So much so that Lohan even wore a shirt that said “Skinny Bitch” and Richie threw a Memorial Day barbeque that barred guests over a hundred pounds (“There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now”). Such acts would invoke immediate cancellation in the present, to be sure.

    Left: Lohan lapping up her skinny bitch era before it really happened on the right, with Nicole Richie

    Perhaps because Grande is, in her own way, an honorary member of Gen Z (as a result of her vocal advocacy for mental health), she’s drunk from that Kool-Aid for too long to remember what she truly is: a millennial. Of the Lohan and Richie generation, even if slightly younger than they are. This forming the weird chasm to become part of a microgeneration (something that never needed to exist before everything and “trend” started to accelerate at such a rapid speed due to waning attention spans spurred by the internet). And Lohan and Richie know better than anyone that trying to steer the public away from their opinions is fruitless. If anything, it makes them cling to those “freedom of speech” rights all the more.

    But what’s most glaring about Grande’s “earnest plea” is that she’s trying to tell a society that traffics in the financial profits of various forms of body shaming (including, at the top of the list, beauty products) that they should no longer be so critical. The thought of such an amendment to human (nay, consumer) behavior actually occurring is not only absurd, but entirely far-fetched. Especially within the celebrity-industrial complex that Grande operates within. Not to mention Selena Gomez, another recent victim of the body shaming discourse that led to her own clapback at “fans” (again, as they’re so derisively put in quotation marks when they speak ill of their god) the same way Grande did on TikTok Live. Establishing the blueprint for Grande, Gomez declared, “I just wanted to say and encourage anyone out there who feels any sort of shame for exactly what [you’re] going through, [when] nobody knows the real story… you’re beautiful and you’re wonderful.” Grande echoed the same sentiments with, “You never know what someone is going through. So even if you are coming from a loving place and a caring place, that person is probably working on it. Or has a support system that they are working on it with and…you never know. So be gentle with each other.” She added, “I just wanted to extend some love your way and tell you that you’re beautiful no matter what phase you’re in…no matter what you’re going through, no matter what weight…no matter how you like to do your makeup these days, no matter what cosmetic procedures you’ve had or not…I just think you’re beautiful.” Of course, that’s easy to say when you can’t actually see who you’re talking to.

    As for the specific mention of makeup, it bears noting that both Ariana Grande and Selena Gomez make a large chunk of their profits off that industry via their R.E.M. and Rare Beauty lines, respectively. Whatever the makeup is being marketed as (“inclusive,” “natural,” etc.), it’s still ultimately designed to be used as a tool to mask one’s “authentic” self. For if that’s truly what we all wanted to be, makeup wouldn’t be a billion-dollar industry. Or plastic surgery. Or fashion, for that matter. And, speaking of, Grande is “the face” of one of the most elitist names in haute couture, Givenchy. Also a brand that has long worshipped at the altar of Audrey Hepburn-level thinness (spoiler alert: Hepburn got that thin by being malnourished as a child during World War II). Indeed, Grande is meant to be some sort of “2.0” version of Hepburn’s waif-based poise and elegance. But no, she insists, we should not comment on bodies—even as she proceeds to make much of her bag on the discourse that surrounds them. This, too, cuts straight to the issue that no one’s addressing (least of all a celebrity): capitalism.

    The only reason to comment on bodies and create a “narrative” centered on what’s “hot” and “not” in that “realm” (e.g., Kim Kardashian’s physique usurping the rail-thin one of Paris Hilton’s after the 00s) is because it’s profitable to multiple industries. And it’s not just limited to beauty and fashion. It creates a ripple effect in every facet of purchasable existence—from foods consumed to exercise habits that can be paid for. And it’s something every celebrity benefits from financially. Even the much-exalted Lizzo, who has also entered the chat again as a result of Grande’s video, with people bringing up her own anti-body shaming tirade from January of this year in which she announces, “The discourse around bodies is officially tired.” “Tired” or not, it’s still a source of major income to many involved in the fame racket. And even selling “body positivity” is a part of that. The weaponization of language (such as censoring people from stating the obvious in a way that makes them feel fearful to speak at all), of course, is one of the first steps in fully activating 1984. Yet our society is bifurcating into a separate territory from that Orwellian nightmare as well, one in which the jettisoning of the body seems to be related to the increasing reliance on “uploading consciousness” (as Grimes said, “Come on you’re not even alive/If you’re not backed up on a drive”).

    In a Nightline special addressing Gomez’s defense of her body, an archival clip of Lizzo being interviewed was included as she said, “We as a society have normalized cruelty to a point where we have internalized cruelty.” Again, does everyone need to be hit over the head with the obvious reason why? C-A-P-I-T-A-L-I-S-M. Apparent cuntiness sells. In tabloid-oriented form as much as fashion and makeup form.

    Despite this, an ABC news contributor who appeared on the special, Kelley L. Carter, concluded, “I don’t think people want perfection out of celebrities anymore. I think they want celebrities that they can see themselves in.” Or at least, “the raw material” of themselves. For “fame as a profession” (a.k.a. going viral) has never been more lusted after than it is in the present climate. And if people—“real,” “average-looking” people—can see themselves in a celebrity, then yeah, that’s still a goldmine for the capitalist cause. Which has thrived on body shaming for centuries (see: the below ad as one of countless examples).

    Selling shit by shaming people is an American tradition that won’t be quelled with any hypocritical celebrity pep talks

    All of this talk about “not commenting on celebrity appearance” also plays into the idea that it isn’t safe to say anything anymore, and certainly not to call a spade a spade (i.e., a fat person fat or a thin person thin). At least, in U.S. culture. But imagine telling a culture as hyper-critical and in-your-face as the Italians to keep their comments to themselves. To that end, it was Stefano Gabbana who outright called Gomez “brutta” in 2018. This leading to another conversation about why he should be lambasted for expressing an opinion since, as it is said (often falsely when it comes to selling fashion through models), “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

    Whatever “effect” Grande’s video might have inflicted for a brief twenty-four-hour period in the news cycle, it’s not likely to shift the bottom line: if celebrities truly want to stop the “body shaming” they’re faced with, then the only thing to do is 1) use their fortune to go back in time and not become famous or 2) retreat into the “wilderness” like J. D. Salinger. Or better yet, renounce capitalism to be a truly commendable role model. As both Grande and Gomez have been branded for their stance against shaming…never acknowledging that all shame stems from our collective commitment to prostitution.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Lindsay Lohan Celebrates First Wedding Anniversary With Bader Shammas

    Lindsay Lohan Celebrates First Wedding Anniversary With Bader Shammas

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    By Melissa Romualdi.
    Published:

    Lindsay Lohan is marking her one year wedding anniversary.

    The actress uploaded a photo of herself hugging her husband, Bader Shammas, to commemorate the special day.

    “April 3, 2023,” she simply captioned the post, adding “1 year today. Happy Anniversary.”


    READ MORE:
    Lindsay Lohan Is Already Showing Baby Bump Confirms Mom Dina, Says Star ‘Always Wanted’ To Be A Mom


    READ MORE:
    Lindsay Lohan Gushes Over Her Husband Bader Shammas And Married Life: ‘It’s Amazing, I Met My Person’

    Lohan’s longtime pal Paris Hilton took to the comments to wish her a “Happy Anniversary!”

    “So happy for you!” Hilton added.

    In addition to the couple’s anniversary, the two recently celebrated Lohan’s pregnancy, which she announced last month.

    Lohan and Shammas got engaged in November 2021. The couple were first linked when they were spotted attending a music festival together in Dubai in early 2020, shortly before the pandemic began.

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    Melissa Romualdi

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  • Your Favorite Celebrity Was Styled By Law Roach…Now What?

    Your Favorite Celebrity Was Styled By Law Roach…Now What?

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    Last week, the fashion world was taken by surprise as Law Roach noisily retired from styling. The famed stylist is known for saving the fashion careers of many celebrities, pulling them out of tone-deaf, trendless outfits and into the world of serving absolute looks. If you’ve loved what a celeb is wearing, Law Roach probably styled them.

    He’s the wizard who turned Zendaya into Cinderella for the Met Gala (
    who also styles her boyfriend, Tom Holland), he’s the maven who re-branded Celine Dion’s style. But the fashion industry is both cutthroat and rarely without drama. Law took to Instagram to announce he was retiring for good, and that the industry had seemingly “won.”

    But retirement can mean so many things. Tom Brady has retired from football twice now. So it’s safe to say that people have questions when it comes to Law Roach’s sudden retirement post.

    Is Law Roach Retiring?

    People love giving credit where credit is due – and as such, stylists have their very own fan bases.
    The Guardian likens this phenomenon to Rachel Zoe’s Zoe Bots, which spawned her own spinoff show and fame in her own right, and not just for styling Lindsay Lohan.

    This just means Law Roach will be fine if he’s not styling everyone anymore – he’ll be sitting on a million Instagram followers and a networking catalog that most would kill for. He has some of the biggest names in Hollywood behind him like Zendaya herself. In other words, Law Roach probably isn’t going anywhere.

    The dramatic, shady Insta post wasn’t Law stepping away from fashion altogether, as he told
    Vogue. And it most definitely isn’t due to the fact that Zendaya didn’t save him a front-row seat at Fashion Week this year – or that he asked Emma Stone to give up hers. Law Roach is taking his career into his own hands, far away from “the politics, the lies, and false narratives” that Roach credits for his retirement from celebrity styling.

    Law Roach told
    AP,

    “I just wanna breathe. I wanna fly. I wanna be happy,” Roach said. “I wanna figure other things out.”

    Who Has Law Roach Styled?

    His looks have been seen on Anne Hathaway, Anya Taylor-Joy, Ariana Grande, and Bella Hadid. Law has created a multi-million dollar empire styling clients for photoshoots and red carpet appearances, while collaborating with some of the biggest fashion houses in the world.

    This year’s Oscars showcased Megan Thee Stallion, Hunter Schafer, Kerry Washington, Eve Jobs, and Hailee Steinfeld, all dressed by Roach. Most of which ranked as the most talked about looks of the evening – so who’s going to style them now?

    Law Roach and Zendaya at the Met Gala 2019

    David Fisher/Shutterstock

    And while each and every look was a slay and a serve in their own respect, no two looks were similar. In fact, each look was praised in their own ways, for different reasons. It’s something Law Roach talks about with The Cut.

    “It’s always the narrative of, “Oh, he’s never gonna treat you the way he treats Zendaya. You’re gonna get what she doesn’t want.” And that’s not true, because none of my clients ever look the same. Like, I don’t use edits.

    I don’t walk around with suitcases of edits that Zendaya didn’t want and offer ’em to other people. It’s always those narratives, and I’ve lost a bunch of clients that I really care for and really wanted to work with because of the gatekeepers.”

    Law even styled Priyanka Chopra-Jonas, who told People that a stylist (seemingly Roach) informed her she wasn’t “sample sized.” While Law Roach told The Cut that this conversation didn’t happen in the way she framed it, it was an example of the false narratives he cited in his retirement.

    What’s Next For Law Roach?

    More recently, Roach was spotted making his modeling debut for Boss. Law Roach strutted the runway in good company amongst Pamela Anderson, Naomi Campbell, and Precious Lee. He told Vogue,

    “I don’t think I have any challenges. I’m a fucking diva! Even if they were to put me on a 10-inch high heel I would be walking that runway. The little gay boy in me—I’m living out a dream! The hair, the makeup, the look they chose for me: it’s literally a dream!”

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    Jai Phillips

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  • SEC Charges Lindsay Lohan, Jake Paul, Soulja Boy, Akon In Crypto Promotion Scheme

    SEC Charges Lindsay Lohan, Jake Paul, Soulja Boy, Akon In Crypto Promotion Scheme

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    The Securities and Exchange Commission announced charges Wednesday against actor Lindsay Lohan, boxer Jake Paul and a group of rappers and R&B stars, including Soulja Boy, Akon and Lil Yachty.

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  • Lindsay Lohan pregnant with her 1st child – National | Globalnews.ca

    Lindsay Lohan pregnant with her 1st child – National | Globalnews.ca

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    Lindsay Lohan has big news to share — she’s going to be a mom.

    In a post to Instagram on Tuesday, Lohan, 36, shared an image of a baby’s onesie with the words “Coming soon…”

    Her message was simple: “We are blessed and excited!”

    Read more:

    Oscars 2023 winners list: ‘Everything Everywhere All at Once’ takes Best Picture

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    Lohan tagged her husband Bader Shammas in the post. She reportedly married Shammas, a financier who lives in Dubai, in July 2022.

    In a statement to TMZ, Lohan said she and Shammas “are very excited for our new family member to arrive and we are looking forward to this next chapter of our lives!”


    Click to play video: 'Eugene Levy steps outside his comfort zone in ‘The Reluctant Traveler’'


    Eugene Levy steps outside his comfort zone in ‘The Reluctant Traveler’




    Lohan announced her engagement to Shammas in November 2021, though little is known about the notoriously private couple.

    The Falling for Christmas star shared three photos of her and her then-fiancé with the caption, “My love. My life. My family. My future.” In every photo, Lohan is wearing an engagement ring.

    Trending Now

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    Read more:

    Sarah Polley wins her 1st-ever Oscar for ‘Women Talking’

    Lohan, who began acting as a child in movies like The Parent Trap, has had a roller-coaster career of highs and lows. She was relentlessly followed by paparazzi in the late 2000s and early 2010s and had numerous, well-documented legal troubles, including arrests for drunk driving, reckless driving and shoplifting.

    Lohan starred in several early 2000s cult classic films such as Mean Girls, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen and Freaky Friday.

    It seems Lohan’s newest part to play, however, will be off-screen — and motherhood may be her most challenging role yet.

    &copy 2023 Global News, a division of Corus Entertainment Inc.

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    Sarah Do Couto

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  • An Animated Debate: Which Feature Will Bring Home the Oscar?

    An Animated Debate: Which Feature Will Bring Home the Oscar?

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    This was such a good year for animation. Last year it truly boiled down to “Encanto vs. Mitchells”, but the field is wide open, so let’s run it down with the help of Vareity!

    With Disney/Pixar, we have Turning Red, a critical darling. Not commercial, because Disney didn’t give it a wide release….and Lightyear and Strange World, both of which did receive wide releases, flopped, and are non-entities in this race. Turning Red, which marks the first from Pixar to be solely directed by a woman, has received critical acclaim for Shi’s depictions of female friendships and the mother-daughter relationship.

    OP Note: TR is still probably my favorite film of the year.

    Netflix has quite a lot, including The Sea Beast, their most successful animated film to date. There’s also My Father’s Dragon, the latest from Cartoon Saloon, which hit the platform with a mild splash. Of course, there’s Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio, which is almost guaranteed to place in the nominations.

    The article does not, however, mention Henry Selick’s Wendell and Wild.

    OP Note: Sea Beast was fine enough, and GDT’s Pinocchio was really cool. Nice to see a multitude of stop motion available, sad W&W isn’t getting more attention.

    GKIDS missed a nomination last year with Belle (tip: the soundtrack is amazing), but with Inu-Oh already being nominated for a Golden Globe, maybe they can take it all the way (and give us a US release, y/y?).

    Did you, like most people, forget Dreamworks Animation had not one, but two films this year? The Bad Guys had a fairly slow rollout worldwide with it’s soft, almost Spider-verse-esque style for a bunch of criminals. It sadly seems to have sunk out of the public conciousness. Meanwhile, the sixth entry into the Shrek franchise, Puss In Boots: The Last Wish, may be 11 years too late, but it was worth the wait, with very positive reviews, and a bombastic artstyle and story that stops just short of saying memento mori.

    OP Note: Ok, maybe Puss in Boots is my favorite this year?

    Welcome to the animation side, A24, and welcome Marcel The Shell With Shoes On. I didn’t like it. But I’m glad another stop motion/live action hybrid is making the rounds, and is winning a lot of smaller circuits!

    src –> ft Apple and their John Lasseter film.

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    sandstorm

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