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In a series called Mondo Ironico, let us discuss how fucking antithetical something in pop culture is.
Detroit might have come a long way since the days of being called the “Murder Capital” (or just “Murder City”), but a little gentrification probably hasn’t gone far enough to throw a so-called Bridgerton Ball that was anything other than, well, jank. Although the organizers of the event, er, Uncle N Me LLC, positioned the would-be “elegant affair” as a chance to “step into the enchanting world of the Regency era” and enjoy “an evening of sophistication, grace and historical charm,” none of those descriptors could be used (at least not reasonably) to classify what went on the night of Sunday, September 22nd in Detroit.
And yes, what went on has already drawn numerous comparisons to Glasgow’s illustrious “Willy Wonka Experience”—which was more of a trauma than an experience for the children and parents who attended. Perhaps those who bought into the Detroit Bridgerton Themed Ball (note that the word “themed” is ultimately meant to read like fine print) at anywhere between one hundred fifty to one thousand dollars a head naively believed that, surely, something so atrocious and ghetto could never happen in the United States…which, despite many residents’ denial, just so happens to be the Earth’s capital of atrocities and ghettoness. Much as Detroit was once the U.S.’ murder capital, lately usurped by St. Louis and Baltimore.
Unfortunately for the attendees’ senses, the phrase “it can’t happen here” has never truly applied to America. And, thus, a scam-y, horrific presentation of what a Bridgerton Ball theoretically is (at least when it’s Netflix’s official The Queen’s Ball: A Bridgerton Experience) ensued. The images thus far unleashed from the so-called event still don’t quite outdo the “Willy Wonka Experience,” mainly because it seemed as though that event actually tried to put more effort in to pulling a fast one over those who were lured in and betrayed. First and foremost because the “organizer” of the event, Billy Coull, at least offered up some fantastical AI images to present “Willy’s Chocolate Experience” (so no, it wasn’t even called the “Willy Wonka Experience”) to his marks.
All the Detroit Bridgerton Themed Ball could offer was a picture of a real person holding a copy of Lady Whistledown (see below). Whoever that person was, she likely wasn’t in attendance to see a stripper standing in for what was supposed to be “Regency-era dance.” And, sure, Bridgerton might be known for mixing in contemporary elements (mainly musically), but it would be more than slightly far-fetched to imagine a stripper on the scene at one of Queen Charlotte’s balls (regardless of how sexually liberated the series is).
Nor would food and drink options be such a travesty on Queen Charlotte’s watch. As one attendee reported, “Food apparently ran out after an hour, and some was raw. No one was there to pick up plates, so you had to deal with strangers’ leftovers yourself.” This report included an image of a sad, empty table with an array of mangy-looking plates sporting pecked-at leftovers on them. Not exactly “high society.” Nor were the additionally pictured pair of “queen’s chairs” (or “royal”/“regal” ones, if you prefer) splayed out in front of two windows with a shitty view and “complemented” by some hastily strewn-about fake flowers and a red cloth, of sorts, with a rose pattern, which one supposes is meant to mimic a red carpet effect.
Alas, there are more regal red carpets at certain strip clubs. And yes, the attendees of the Detroit Bridgerton Themed Ball might have had a more elegant time at one of those venues than what they were subjected to at the Harmonie Club, which has a new reason to be part of the National Register of Historic Places thanks to this ultra-busted (non-)event.
Like the abovementioned Billy Coull, who organized the “immersive experience” through his House of Illuminati company (again, another red flag in terms of the name), Uncle N Me LLC also faced so much public vitriol that it released a public statement/apology that read: “We understand that not everyone had the experience they hoped for at our most recent event Sunday night at The Harmonie Club, and for that, we sincerely apologize. Our intention was to provide a magical evening, but we recognize that organizational challenges affected the enjoyment of some guests.” Let us pause here to note that they likely thought a stripper and some Kit Kats would be all the magic any true Detroit resident really needed, not taking into account the high expectations fortified by the city’s “bougie-fication” of late.
The statement then continued, “We take full responsibility and accountability for these shortcomings. Please know that we are working diligently to address all concerns [a.k.a. working diligently to not get slapped with a lawsuit] to ensure that all guests have the enjoyable experience they deserve…we are committed to doing everything in our power to make this right.”
But, as it was with “Willy’s Chocolate Experience” (a.k.a. the “Willy Wonka Experience”), the damage has already been done to those who suffered the awkward, highly disappointing plight. And they may never be able to watch a Bridgerton episode quite the same way again.
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Genna Rivieccio
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