ReportWire

Tag: Kimberly Gara

  • Baltimore’s Key Bridge Collapses

    Baltimore’s Key Bridge Collapses

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    The Francis Scott Key Bridge collapsed yesterday after a 948-foot cargo ship struck it departing the port, causing the governor to declare a state of emergency. What do you think?

    “I’ve always said infrastructure is an unnecessary risk.”

    Emil Flocchini, Cubist Landscaper

    Hobby Lobby Announces It Muslim Now

    “This never would had happened if not for the world’s insatiable lust for cargo.”

    Kimberly Gara, Lunch Reviewer

    “What is the 73 cents of taxes I pay to infrastructure even being used for?”

    Connor Bailey, Rhetoric Analyst

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  • Capitol Physician Medically Clears Mitch McConnell After Second Freezing Episode

    Capitol Physician Medically Clears Mitch McConnell After Second Freezing Episode

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    A Capitol physician has reportedly cleared Senate GOP leader Mitch McConnell to continue his schedule after he experienced an episode where he was unable to speak or move for the second time in as many months in public. What do you think?

    “He’s probably doing it for attention.”

    Kimberly Gara, Literacy Critic

    Americans Describe What It’s Like Surviving A Mass Shooting

    “This happens every time he receives new instructions from Satan.”

    Emil Flocchini, Unemployed

    “What American hasn’t frozen in horror when trying to think about our government?”

    Lars Higdon, Bounty Hunter

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