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Tag: Kali Dawson

  • 5 Celebrities with Strong Christian Marriages

    5 Celebrities with Strong Christian Marriages

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    I always find it encouraging to read about what other Christian couples say about their Marriages and any helpful tips they’ve learned over their lives together thus far. It’s wonderful that there are celebrity Christian couples out there who are open and honest about their relationships and any tips they might have on keeping their Marriages strong. Here are just five of them and two quotes from each duo on their Marriages, amounting to a total of 10 tips you can apply to your own:

    Candace says of her beloved Valeri.

    Tip #2 Refine One Another:

    “We’ve refined each other, which only happens through sifting out the ugly to get to the beautiful. And while I don’t want the years to rush by, I’m looking forward to many more wrinkles and gray hair together.” Candace says.

    I can relate to Candace’s sentiments: falling more in love is important, and in order to do this, it’s essential to realize that your spouse will not stay the same as the person they were when you married them. They will grow and change, and so will you. And as you grow and change, focusing on loving all the different parts of your partner in life will strengthen your marriage instead of focusing on the parts that you perhaps don’t like so much.

    Refining one another is also a beautiful thought for your marriage journey: and it is the hard things in life that refine us. My husband and I have learned through deep difficulty that you will go through these hard things together when you’re married, and they will either refine you or rip you apart. So this word picture of refining one another is key to a strong marriage.

    2. Ree Drummond and Ladd Drummond

    Tip #3 Touch Feet at Night:

    “We always touch feet at night,” Ree told People.com. “Even if one of us is a little bit miffed, or if someone’s not feeling it, if our feet touch, I always know, ‘Okay, it’s all good.’”

    Tip #4 Worship Together:

    “Both Ladd and Ree are committed to their relationship with God and attending church—even when life gets hectic. ‘This isn’t the answer for everybody, but we go to church together every Sunday,’ she told People. ‘It’s something that we do no matter what comes up. No matter how tired we are. I’ve seen the times that we’ve slipped away from that, and disaster is lurking in the bushes.’”

    I love this idea of touching feet at night; my husband and I have tried it. I once suggested it after an argument when we would have preferred to turn our backs to one another, and it really does make a difference. Worshipping together can mean quite a few different things; my husband and I enjoy watching sermons together and listening to praise and worship music while working out or driving in the car. Make worshipping together a regular part of your day, not just a Sunday thing.

    3. Denzel Washington and Pauletta Washington

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Kevin Winter/Staff

    Tip #5 A Spiritual Foundation is Important

    In regards to marriage, Denzel says:

    “There is no secret to the perfect marriage. I have been married 27 years to Pauletta. Everybody has their ups and downs; we’ve had ours. It’s hard work, you know. But we made a commitment. A spiritual foundation helps everything – marriage, work, peace of mind.”

    Tip # 6 Listen Twice as Much as You Speak

    In a joking manner about listening to your spouse, Denzel says:

    “I do what I’m told. I keep my mouth shut,” the 63-year-old Academy Award winner jokingly told PEOPLE.

    I love this mention from a celebrity of a spiritual foundation: this is not something we often hear. Many build their foundations on fortune and fame and things that will eventually crumble: so this was refreshing to me and so important for any Christian Marriage. Build on God’s Word and His love. Everything else is secondary.

    I also enjoy the sense of humor here because any good marriage needs a good sense of humor on both sides: I know there are many times my husband and I can relate to doing what the other person asks instead of starting an argument. And listening in marriage is key. Even when it’s something you might not want to hear: listening will take you through all the ups and downs.

    4. Mark Wahlberg and Rhea Durham

    Mark Wahlberg, Wahlberg to star in his first faith-based film

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Leon Bennett/Stringer

    Tip #7 Spend Quality Time Together

    In regards to spending time with your spouse, Mark says:

    “Spend quality time together,” the actor, 44, told Us. “Really, that’s what matters.”

    Tip #8 Be Best Friends

    “Mark and Rhea keep their romance alive by being one another’s best friends, and it is obviously working in their favor!”

    Spending time together makes a world of difference but is often a challenge for modern couples: it becomes one of those things you need to commit to regardless of what comes up. We’ve had seasons in our marriage where we could only sneak 5 minutes together and seasons where we’ve had an entire day to ourselves. Don’t focus on the amount of time: focus on the fact that all of it adds up, and all of your time spent together matters. And this coincides with being best friends: most of us want to spend time with our best friends, and the same should be true for our spouses.

    5. Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher

    Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher

    Photo credit: ©YouTube/I Am Second

    Tip #9 Support One Another: Sacrifice and Compromise

    In regards to her marriage, Carrie says:

    “It’s all about being supportive of one another. He’s my best friend and we love our family; that’s what it’s all about. We sacrifice for each other and compromise for each other and do our best to spend as much time as we possibly have with each other.”

    Tip #10 Remember that God Brought You Together

    “We know God brought us together and [we] trust his judgment,” Carrie says.

    Support, sacrifice, and compromise are all such important words when it comes to marriage. We can’t always put ourselves first and expect to have a strong marriage: because we are looking out for the needs and wants of our spouse and not just our own like we did when we were single.

    For me, this final tip was the most important tip of all: Remembering that God brought my spouse and me together.

    This is so important, especially when times are tough. It can often be so hard to see past our current situation, but when we step back and look at the picture of our marriage as a whole, instead of focusing on the hard things, we can see a much clearer picture of God’s plan for our relationship.

    The beautiful thing about marriage is that we don’t go through the hard things alone: we have someone who walks physically beside us. Sometimes we will need to comfort and support our spouse, and other times they will need to comfort and support us.

    Marriage is also a picture of our relationship with God and His unconditional love for us. He doesn’t fall out of love with us, and although there is no perfect human relationship: We have a God of perfect love who always wants and desires what’s best for us.

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Rick Diamond/Staff

    Kali Dawson bio photoKali Dawson graduated from St. Thomas University with a B.A. in English and a Minor in Journalism and Communications. She is a School Teacher, Pilates Instructor, and Mama of two young children and a beautiful 2020 baby. She is married to her real-life Superhero. When she’s not holding small hands or looking for raised hands you will find her writing fervently about faith and family. To read more, you can find her on Facebook at Faith, Family, Freelance.

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  • 3 Ways to Respect Your Spouse When Upset

    3 Ways to Respect Your Spouse When Upset

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    After reading Genesis 30 this morning, my mind stopped in its tracks on the above phrase in verse 27: “I have learned by experience.” I am not sure about you, but I certainly have learned by experience “how not to” respond to my spouse when I am upset, and after nearly a decade, my spouse has learned “how not to” respond to me. Some things in life cement themselves in our minds forever simply because we have learned them by experience. For example, I have learned that my husband does not appreciate it when I don’t take the time to listen to what he has to say because I am formulating my own response that I hope will be better than what he just said. He prefers that I listen before spewing my myriad of thoughts and options at him.

    On the other hand, he has learned that I do not like when he interrupts me when I am in the middle of expressing my myriad of thoughts and opinions. We both do not like being accused of things when we walk into a discussion with one another, and we both also do not like feeling attacked. We both shut down when responses from the other person make us feel hurt, unloved, or disrespected.

    So here are three ways (we have learned by experience) to respond to our spouse with respect, even when upset.

    1. Start by Saying “I Love You”

    We went through a long haul in our marriage where when one of us was upset, we would withhold saying “I love you.” I can remember being so angry at my husband for something he said that when we went to bed that night, he said, “I love you,” and I refused to say it back. So he said it again. Again, I did not. I learned from that experience that he needed to know that, of course, I still loved him even though I was upset with him. Our children are no different; when they do something wrong, we always tell them we love them, we never want them to worry that a mistake could ever make us stop loving them. Adults need this affirmation too.

    So next time your spouse says or does something that upsets you, respond with, “I love you, I just need some time to process my feelings.” This way, they know that your love for them has not changed based on their behavior. It also gives you the freedom to feel your feelings and step back into the conversation when you feel calmer.

    2. Start by Saying “I Respect Your Opinion”

    I can’t tell you how many times my spouse and I have discovered just how different we really are and praise God for our uniqueness. Did you know that it is possible to be married and have different opinions? I didn’t know when I was newly married; I naively thought that if we didn’t have the same opinion about a topic, perhaps something was wrong with our relationship.

    Vocabulary.com defines an opinion as “…a belief or attitude about something that isn’t necessarily based on facts. It’s your opinion that dogs make better pets than cats, but your sister thinks that cats are superior. Too bad your parents’ opinion is that pets are too expensive.”

    We can see in the above example that the individuals in this family truly have different opinions about cats (so do my husband and I!). Our children think a couple of cats would be a wonderful addition to our home. I like the idea of adopting some cats because my kids like them, but my husband jokingly says that the day we get cats is the day he moves into the garage! We have varying opinions about cats, and we all love each other very much.

    So next time you are arguing with your spouse over the best way to discipline your child because you both have different opinions on the matter at hand, respond with, “I respect your opinion. I just need some time to pray about this.” This way, they know that their opinion matters to you. They also know that you are concerned more with God’s opinion than you are with your own, and you can step back into the conversation with a fresh heart (and perhaps a new perspective) after taking it to your Heavenly Father in prayer. Even though your opinions vary, you both want what’s best for your children, and that is something that you can keep at the forefront of your mind when you don’t necessarily see eye to eye.

    3. Start by Saying, “I Understand”

    I can think of so many times in our marriage where a tiny disagreement fanned into a forest fire, simply because one or both of us were feeling misunderstood. Leading with “I understand what you are saying” and even repeating back to your spouse what they just said to you is a great way to keep the argument from spiraling into places it doesn’t need to go. When I was newly married, I felt that if my spouse didn’t understand why I was upset, perhaps they didn’t love me. Just as much as we all desire to be loved, we also desire to be understood. When our spouse understands us we feel accepted by them, which in the end makes us feel loved and respected by them:

    How many times have you been upset about something, and you only wished your spouse would have responded to you with the words “I understand.” I bet it would have kept you from going to bed angry. These two words are powerful for our marriage relationship and our relationships with our children as they grow up. Remember Jesus came to earth, and in doing so, He understands our sorrows and is acquainted with our grief (Isaiah 53:3). We can take comfort in knowing that even when our spouse doesn’t know how we are feeling, He does.

    As two imperfect human beings, we will not always respond to our spouses with respect when we are upset. It truly is something we learn by experience. We learn through disagreements how our responses affect our spouse in the first place: there are things my husband can say to me that would have me knotted up in a ball of frustration while the same response to him would not bother him in the least. We need to work on our responses and pay attention to how they affect our spouses. One final tip: my husband and I refused to have stressful conversations when we are tired, hungry, or the kids are screaming. We have learned our responses to one another are not great when our basic needs of sleep, food, and a peaceful environment are not currently being met.

    If there is one verse we can meditate on when it comes to how we should respond to our spouse when we are upset, I believe we need to look no further than Ephesians 4:31-32: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Prostock-Studio

    Kali Dawson graduated from St. Thomas University with a B.A. in English and a Minor in Journalism and Communications. She is a School Teacher, Pilates Instructor, and Mama of two young children and a beautiful 2020 baby. She is married to her real-life Superhero. When she’s not holding small hands or looking for raised hands you will find her writing fervently about faith and family. To read more, you can find her on Facebook at Faith, Family, Freelance.

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    Kali Dawson

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