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Tag: Infidelity & Cheating

  • Should You Forgive A Cheater? 8 Factors To Consider

    Should You Forgive A Cheater? 8 Factors To Consider

    Imagine this: Your partner cheated on you with a coworker. You came to know about it much later. They claim that they ended the affair but needed to come clean. And beg for your forgiveness. But you still can’t come to terms with the situation. You keep wondering should you forgive a cheater? Can you, really? Is it weak to forgive someone for cheating? How does one decide when to walk away after infidelity? Are you confused about the equation between cheating and forgiveness?

    Well, there are no easy or straightforward answers to these questions. You see, cheating can be of many sorts, emotional or sexual, for instance. The impact of cheating on a relationship can depend on its nature, to a large extent. Factors like the state of your own relationship, how much you have at stake, and your partner’s remorse for betraying your trust also determine whether or not forgiveness after infidelity is an appropriate choice.

    What’s important is to know whether you’re ready to forgive and go back to your partner or move on without them. In this article, we will get a low-down on the pros and cons of forgiving a cheating partner and the factors to consider while forgiving a cheater. With the help of our expert relationship counselor Ruchi Ruuh (Postgraduate Diploma in Counseling Psychology), we’ll also look into a few tips to deal with such a situation. So, if you’re wrestling with the dilemma, “Can you forgive someone who cheated on you?”, let’s begin…

    Cheating And Forgiveness: Pros And Cons To Consider

    Well, before we dig deeper into the answers to the question, how do you forgive someone for cheating, let’s begin by the impact of cheating on the betrayed partner. Ruchi says, “Cheating, be it financial, emotional, or sexual, brings in an emotionally charged reaction. The one who’s cheated on becomes very confused, trying to grapple with the betrayal, hurt, and trauma. Plus, their self-esteem goes for a toss.”

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    Thinking about forgiveness after infidelity can be hard. While there may be a desire to forgive one’s partner, especially if it has been a long-term relationship, there’s also a desire to protect oneself from harm. Ruchi feels, “Cheating and forgiveness aren’t a good match. When you’re trying to determine should you forgive a cheater, it’s important to remember that there’s no need to rush the process. One should let forgiveness come at its own pace.” She also points out the pros and cons to consider when contemplating forgiveness after infidelity:

    Pros of forgiving a cheater Cons of forgiving a cheater
    2. One of the possible advantages of forgiving a cheater can be an opportunity for trust-building and of strengthening communication. While partners go through tension, forgiving offers an avenue to repair the relationship and understand what it needs 1. Forgiving can always be a risk, as there’s no guarantee that the cheater will change their ways and not cheat again. When someone’s trying to rebuild the relationship, another case of cheating may lead to further hurt and betrayal
    2. One of the possible advantages of forgiving a cheater can be an opportunity for trust-building and strengthening communication. While partners go through tension, forgiving offers an avenue to repair the relationship and understand what it needs 2. A lot of people don’t forgive their cheating partners because they don’t want to be emotionally vulnerable in front of the very person who’s hurt them. The fear of being hurt makes them avoid talking about their weaknesses
    3. It can lead to personal growth. Forgiving a cheater also allows for introspection and a greater awareness of your own needs. The compassionate and empathetic experience can also lead to spiritual growth. Those who had been ignoring themselves before start investing in their own growth when they decide to forgive their cheating partners 3. There’s always scope for loss of self-respect. When someone is rushing to forgive their cheating spouse, it may be an act of betrayal to themselves. So, while they forgive or pretend to forgive their cheating partners, on many occasions, they don’t actually forgive and feel inadequate within.
    4. When you let go of the grudges and resentment, the conflict dissipates, and harmony seeps in. 

    Now, forgiving a repeated offender may not be a good thing, but if your partner genuinely is trying to make amends and is apologetic, it may be a good decision to forgive and reduce the conflict

    		 4. Forgiving doesn’t erase the root cause. Without acknowledging the real issues, or sitting down, talking, and resolving them, forgiveness has no meaning. 

    For instance, if someone cheated because they weren’t feeling emotionally supported at home, forgiveness after your partner’s infidelity alone is not enough to bring the relationship back on track

    Should You Forgive A Cheater? 8 Factors To Consider

    Is it weak to forgive someone for cheating? How do you forgive someone for cheating if you’re sure they will cheat again? Is your relationship worth saving? And how can you forgive a cheater if they’re a long-term spouse? More importantly, should you? Here’s what a Reddit user had to say about whether they would forgive a cheater, “In a long-term relationship, yes. Sh*t happens and sometimes communication breaks down. But I’m not gonna walk away from a 12-year relationship if she’s willing to cop to it and wants to talk about how to fix it.”

    So, if you’re still undecided on whether to forgive your cheating spouse and are confused about how to go about it, read on. And before we get to the tips on forgiving a cheater, first let’s find out what factors you should consider before you decide to let go of the hurt and betrayal and embrace harmony. Ruchi helps us with a few factors that one should think over before answering the question, should you forgive a cheater? So, if you’re wondering when to walk away after infidelity and when to hold on, or are confused about how to forgive a cheating partner, read on:

    Related Reading: What Is Not Cheating In A Relationship? These 10 Things

    1. The extent of the betrayal

    Taking back a cheater needs a lot of thought. Is it a financial, sexual, or emotional betrayal that your partner has put you through? Ruchi says, “It’s crucial to note your definition of somebody disrespecting your boundaries of fidelity and gauge the damage realistically.” So, instead of getting swayed by an apology, try and weigh the extent of the harm done and then proceed. This is exactly what to do when your partner cheats on you.

    2. Is the apology genuine?

    How can you forgive a cheater who’s not true to their intentions? Ruchi says, “In order to be forgiven, your partner has to be genuinely remorseful. Forgive them only if they’re committed to changing their behavior and are taking responsibility in the relationship.” Here’s what you should not tolerate:

    • They make you feel bad about your reactions
    • They gaslight you into believing you misunderstood them
    • They put the blame on you
    • There’s no true willingness to change their ways
    Before you forgive a cheater, you need to check if they’re genuinely apologetic

    3. Their cheating history

    So, should you stay with a cheater? It’s very important to consider the history of cheating behavior if you’re considering making the relationship work. Ruchi says, one should ask the following questions:

    • Does your partner have a consistent pattern of cheating on you?
    • Is this a one-time mistake?
    • Have you always ended up forgiving them in the past?

    She adds, “If cheating on you is part of a larger pattern, it needs to be understood that it’s time to let go.” Can you forgive a cheater who is habituated to cheating? Definitely, not!

    Related Reading: Trust Issues – 10 Signs You Find It Difficult To Trust Anyone

    4. Has there been a communication break?

    A lot of people withdraw into a shell after a cheating incident. But what they don’t realize is that forgiving in such cases requires a lot of healthy communication. Ruchi says, “Partners need to have a lot of information on each other to decide whether to stay or move on.

    “For instance, how the cheating incident has impacted the romantic relationship between the two of you. One must understand that feeling comfortable with each other is a very important part of forgiveness. You will need to understand their point of view and make them understand yours. This however doesn’t mean that you should let complacency rule the relationship.”

    5. Do you have a solid support system?

    Ruchi says, “Your friends, family, and relationship therapists can help you a lot in dealing with your partner’s infidelity.” Should you stay with a cheater? The answer isn’t simple. In fact, forgiveness, in such cases, shouldn’t be rushed. One should be able to take into consideration multiple points of view (that of your close friends or your counselor) to reach a decision.

    Related Reading: We Both Have Trust Issues In Our Relationship And Don’t Know What To Do

    6. What does your gut feeling say?

    At times, you should trust your gut feeling. Ruchi says, “You will eventually know when to forgive them when you listen to the emotional and physical responses in our system.” Ask yourself if it’s right or wrong or if you’re ready to forgive at all. This is what to do when your partner cheats on you.

    7. Are there healthy boundaries in your romantic relationship?

    Ruchi says, “Healthy boundaries are very important and should be a crucial factor in your decision of whether to forgive your partner.” For instance:

    • If you’ve asked them for time away, to focus on yourself, meet other people, and focus on self-care, and they’re not ready to give you that, consider not forgiving them
    • If they’re coaxing you into forgiveness, that too is a red flag
    • Cheaters often come back (call it cheaters’ karma) but are still not respectful of your needs. That again is a situation where you shouldn’t forgive them

    Related Reading: 5 Women Reveal Why They Have Forgiven Their Cheating Husbands

    8. Your own feelings

    Taking back a cheater needs a lot of introspection. Ruchi says, “It’s important to reflect on your own feelings, needs, and values.” So, ask yourself questions, such as:

    • What does this forgiveness mean to you?
    • What are your expectations from this act of forgiveness?
    • Are you extending your values or compromising on your moral compass by forgiving them?
    Taking back a cheater
    Taking back a cheater is tough

    For instance, one of my friends, Trish, was shocked to learn about her husband’s emotional affair with a coworker. They had no sexual contact, not even sexting, but often exchanged normal messages about their lives, at odd hours. While Trish’s value system said this was a major act of cheating, as she valued emotional loyalty, her husband believed this wasn’t a big deal. So, their values clashed. Forgiveness in such a situation isn’t the best bet.

    How To Forgive A Cheating Partner: 7 Expert-Backed Tips

    So, you’ve decided you wish to forgive your cheating spouse. But the big question now is how. Forgiveness doesn’t come easy in the wake of infidelity. On this, a Reddit user has a very simple logic, “I wish I could tell you how to forgive, but I don’t know the answer. Just remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean staying with or forgetting — forgiveness is powerful for yourself, that way you stop holding on to the anger and resentment. I forgave my husband the first time and moved forward, though things were never the same. 6 years later, he did it again but way worse.”

    Related Reading: When Forgiving An Affair Stopped Me From Killing Myself

    As you can see, the road to forgiveness after infidelity can be fraught with doubts, insecurities, and the fear of having to live through the same nightmare again. However, if you do wish to walk this road and give your relationship another chance, there are ways of forgiving a cheating spouse truly. Ruchi helps us with 7 actionable tips on how to forgive a cheating partner:

    1. Feel your emotions

    So, how do you forgive someone for cheating? Ruchi advises, “Allow yourself to feel and process the range of negative emotions, be it anger, sadness, or dejection. Ignoring those feelings is a huge mistake and can get in the way of your decision to forgive your cheating partner.” This is because sorting your emotions out is the first thing you should do before making such a major decision of mending your broken relationship.

    To process your emotions, you can try:

    • Journaling
    • Talking
    • Opting for therapy
    what to do when your partner cheats on
    To forgive a cheater, you need to process your negative emotions

    2. Engage in honest communication

    So, can you forgive someone who cheated on you? Definitely, yes. But you need to be able to communicate with them, honestly and openly. Ruchi feels, “Fearless and open communication is the best tip to go through this extremely difficult phase of forgiving after cheating.” So, you can talk about:

    • How it impacted you
    • What you need to do to move on
    • Where your partner is in terms of moving on
    • What are your goals, values, and perspectives, and where they clash with your partner’s

    Related Reading: Confessions Of Five Women Who Say, “My Husband Cheated But I Feel Guilty”

    3. Establish boundaries

    How do you forgive someone for cheating if they don’t care about how you feel? Forgiveness is only helpful if it helps you feel more respected and valued. Ruchi says, “The only way forgiving a cheater can make you feel good is if your boundaries are respected. You need to communicate clear and healthy boundaries if you think the relationship is worth fighting for.”

    Here’s what some boundaries look like:

    • Setting the standards of communication: Make it clear that they need to respond to your calls and texts, and be available for a healthy conversation when needed
    • Being clear about the level of transparency: Make it clear if you want them to stop texting their exes or random strangers on social media. Share passwords or social media messages, if needed
    • Arriving at a mutually agreed-upon definition of fidelity: What’s your definition of fidelity and what do you consider cheating as? Is that what your partner thinks too? Talk and set some boundaries

    4. Seek professional help

    Rebuilding trust is a key component of deciphering how to forgive a cheating partner. However, it’s not easy, especially if you’re doing it by yourself. That’s why seeking professional help and going into therapy is always the best option when you’re clueless about how to forgive a cheating spouse and are worried about your mental health.

    Related Reading: 20 Shocking Things Cheaters Say When Confronted

    Ruchi says, “A neutral third party, especially a professional relationship therapist or counselor, can always offer valuable insight if you’re wondering how to forgive a cheating partner. Apart from the support, they offer a safe space to gain perspective during the healing process. So, go ahead and opt for couples counseling.” So, if you need help working through the blow of infidelity and finding a path to forgiveness, don’t hesitate to reach out to Bonobology’s counseling services.

    5. Focus on the present

    Yes, we get it! It’s hard to move on from a cheating incident and let go of the past. How long does it take to forgive someone for cheating? Months, or maybe years! Thoughts may keep coming back to you. What if you face a similar situation again? To counter this, Ruchi advises, “If you’re planning to forgive your partner, focus on the present and make an effort to move forward together, without dwelling on the past. That’s the only way this is going to work.”

    6. Practice self-care

    Ruchi says, “A lot of times, people give up things they enjoy when they feel betrayed in a relationship. But healthy emotional and physical well-being is very important if you wish to forgive your partner.” So, try these tips of self-care and self-discovery:

    • Exercise
    • Hang out with friends
    • Take up a new hobby or practice one you had forgotten about
    • Take long walks
    • Go on a holiday

    Most importantly, do whatever makes you feel good about yourself and understand yourself better, helps you take care of your mental health, or speeds up the forgiveness process. This way, you’ll be able to go through challenges effectively.

    on cheating

    7. Be patient

    How long does it take to forgive someone for cheating? Ruchi says, “The healing process isn’t linear. It takes years and sometimes, even a lifetime, for people to forgive their cheating partners. At times, they can’t even forgive completely.” So, remember, forgiveness takes time and patience. Don’t rush. Be gentle and heal at your own pace. Don’t shame or pressure yourself. Honor your own pace of forgiving.

    Key Pointers

    • Some pros of forgiving a cheater are personal growth, release of the emotional burden, and the opportunity to build a healthy relationship
    • Some cons of forgiving a cheater include a lack of guarantee that it won’t happen again, the emotional vulnerability of the cheated partner, and the scope for loss of self-esteem
    • Should you forgive a cheater? Some factors to consider when deciding if you should forgive a cheater are your feelings, the genuineness of the apology, and your support system
    • Some tips to forgive a cheating partner are establishing boundaries, practicing self-care, and being patient

    Though cheating and forgiveness aren’t the best pair, we hope you now know the answers to questions such as, “Can you forgive a cheater?” If you’re experiencing infidelity, remember, at the end of the day, what matters is whether you’re fine with your decision of forgiving your cheating spouse and if you’re ready to rebuild trust. Nobody else, neither your friends nor your therapist, can decide it for you because you know yourself the best. 

    So, go ahead, make that call! But make sure you aren’t putting up with abuse or bad behavior. This is when to walk away after infidelity. Reach out to people who can help. And don’t hesitate to end things if you’ve reached a dead end. We hope this article helped you decide if you should let go or forgive your partner. Either way, here’s to moving forward.

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  • Is Marriage Never The Same After Infidelity?

    Is Marriage Never The Same After Infidelity?

    “Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons to break up…” – this is what bestselling author Patti Callahan Henry said in her book Between The Tides. And we can’t help but agree with her. But, in case you’re at the receiving end of infidelity, you may wonder, “Is marriage never the same after infidelity?” Even if you have been the cheating partner, you may wonder if an apology can be enough to rekindle a broken marriage.

    In this article, we’ve delved deeper into this issue, with the help of psychologist Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couples counseling, and found out the reasons why a marriage may never be the same after infidelity. We’ve also collated a few tips for you to cope with unfaithfulness in marriage. So, if you’re dealing with the trauma of infidelity or are seriously considering reconciliation after infidelity, read on…

    Why Is Marriage Never The Same After Infidelity?

    Before we get to the question “Why is marriage never the same after infidelity?”, let’s look at the definition of infidelity. Nandita explains, “Infidelity or unfaithfulness in marriage is when one partner cheats on another, but there can be various forms of such cheating. Though, when we think of infidelity, we usually think of a sexual affair, cheating need not necessarily be in the form of a one-night stand. A person can have a romantic or an emotional affair with someone outside his marriage, without the involvement of sex.”

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    She adds, “A marriage can be rocked, no matter which type of infidelity has taken place. But in every form of infidelity, the biggest crack is caused by the breakdown of trust.” So, let’s look at a few reasons why a marriage is never the same after infidelity:

    Related Reading: The 3 Types Of Men Who Have Affairs And How To Recognize Them

    1. Breach of trust

    Nandita says, “When the trust factor in a relationship is affected, it shakes the core foundation of the relationship. After all, trust is the most important factor in a relationship. Trust is breached even if your spouse withholds information about meeting an old girlfriend, let alone cheating on you.”

    A friend of mine, Roger, had a similar experience. After he came to know that his wife, Alicia, cheated on him with a coworker, he could never trust her again. They remained married but the relationship didn’t seem to have the trust element in it. Roger would often be found complaining, “How can I possibly trust her again?” There was so much pain in his voice.

    2. Loss of sense of security

    Any sort of infidelity in a marriage, be it emotional or physical, tends to affect the sense of security in the marriage. Nandita says, “Both partners might sense a loss of security in this situation. The betrayed spouse will feel insecure in the future and will always wonder where the relationship will go, whereas the unfaithful spouse might feel they have lost a healthy and secure bond with their spouse.”

    A marriage goes through a loss of security after infidelity

    3. Emotional trauma

    Another reason why marriages don’t remain the same after infidelity is the emotional trauma it causes. Nandita believes, “It’s not just the partner who’s been cheated on that feels emotional distress after an act of infidelity. Even the partner who has cheated may go through emotional trauma in this case, when they realize their mistake.”

    Related Reading: 11 Feelings One Goes Through After Being Cheated On

    4. Resentment

    Why is marriage never the same after infidelity? You see, the resentment that builds up in the equation between a couple after unfaithfulness or cheating in marriage is one of the prime reasons why marriage is never the same after cheating.
    Nandita explains, “The betrayed spouse is the one who feels resentment in such cases, quite obviously. And this resentment then adds on new negative emotions of hate and anger that eventually change the dynamics of the relationship or marriage.”

    5. Sense of sadness

    Nandita says, “Once both the partners reflect on what has happened, a profound sense of sadness engulfs them, there’s this immediate sense of the relationship having ended, a sense of loss, and a feeling that the entire trajectory of marriage has changed. Both the partners may go through a lot of grief about losing the positives that the relationship once had.”

    Related Reading: How To Heal After Being Cheated On And Stay Together

    6. Lack of communication

    Any act of cheating affects communication between a couple. So, there can be long bouts of the silent treatment meted out by either or both. This ruins the bond between the couple furthermore. And if not addressed, it can very well spell the end of the relationship.

    7. Intimacy is never the same again

    What’s the worst part about cheating? It’s the whole ‘falling out of love after infidelity’ phenomenon. You see, no matter what form of cheating it was, emotional or physical, sex between the couple just isn’t the same anymore.

    Related Reading: Why Do Married Men Cheat? Expert Shares 9 Possible Reasons

    A friend of mine, Debbie, once confided in me how repulsive the idea of being physically intimate with her partner was after she learned that he had cheated on her. She sighed as she said, “The pain of infidelity never goes away, my friend. It seems I will never be able to heal from this. Whenever he touches me, I cringe thinking about what he must’ve done with the other woman.”

    Can A Marriage Survive Cheating?

    So, is marriage never the same after infidelity? And can the marriage come back on track after cheating? Well, we all know, it may never be the same. But a lot depends on how strong the bond between the partners was before the cheating took place. Nandita adds, “There are chances the marriage can survive if the spouses decide to make it work.”

    A Reddit user says, “It also takes a lot of empathy. First from him in the form of remorse. He should hurt because you hurt. And eventually, you’ll need to empathize with how he feels when he understands that you won’t trust or respect him the same way again. (If he’s truly committed you may take pride in his growth and who he has become. But it’s not the same).

    “There must be acceptance. For him accepting that he won’t be trusted for quite some time. For you, that you can eventually accept this as part of your story. And it takes time. Time to watch actions and make decisions. Time to heal. Time to dig. Time to rebuild trust through consistent actions over time.”

    How long does a marriage last after infidelity?

    Research conducted by the American Psychological Association proved that 53% of couples who went through infidelity in their marriage separated within 5 years of the cheating incident, with or without therapy. However, this doesn’t mean there’s a concrete answer to the question: how long does a marriage last after infidelity?

    can a marriage survive cheating
    How many marriages survive cheating depends on many factors

    How many marriages survive cheating?

    A study in the US proved that 35% of all marriages have been faced with infidelity of some sort, while 52% of those marriages ended in divorce. But the answer to how many marriages survive cheating may change depending on cultural contexts and expectations.

    For instance, as Nandita points out, “In South Asian communities, many women are financially dependent on their husbands and may not opt for divorce so easily. So, even in the face of infidelity, they may stick to the marriage, for money or for reasons such as societal pressure and the upkeep of children. So, while on the surface level, such marriages seem to have survived, eventually, they end up as hollow relationships with hardly any love.”

    Related Reading: The 7 Types of Affairs and How They Affect Relationships

    How To Cope With Unfaithfulness In Marriage

    So, if you’re still wondering, “Is marriage never the same after infidelity?”, well, it isn’t. But how can a marriage survive cheating? A grounded theory study on couples healing from infidelity proved that even subjects who went through sexual infidelity “chose to stay together, and self-identified as having experienced meaningful healing.” So, while a lot of marriages end due to unfaithfulness, a significant number of marriages survive after such grave instances of cheating too.

    So, how does one cope with cheating in marriage? And how different is a marriage after infidelity? Does detachment after infidelity work for all couples? Or is it better to stay together and fight this menace with a strong resolve to be together in the future? Well, only you can decide what the answers to these questions will be for you and your marriage. However, if you do decide to stay, Nandita has a few tips on coping with the trauma of cheating and working toward fixing the whole ‘falling out of love after infidelity‘ scenario:

    1. Accept that the infidelity has taken place

    Nandita says, “The first thing one needs to do to cope with infidelity is to come to terms with the fact that it took place.” Now, we agree with her. A lot of times, we engage in denial. And when we deny the existence of a problem, we make it all the more difficult to deal with. So, shoving infidelity under the carpet isn’t going to help. It’s only going to make you two more distant and the marriage a dull and lifeless existence.

    Related Reading: What Are The Consequences Of Affairs When Both Partners Are Married?

    2. Go through despair

    Nandita believes, “Once you accept that your relationship has been rocked by cheating, you and your partner must go through despair.” This is a therapeutic stage, where facing the pain of the strained relationship together makes you come closer to each other.

    A friend of mine, Ashley, had to go through the trauma of infidelity when her husband, Damien, declared one fine day that he had cheated on her with a coworker a year back when she was pregnant. Now, Ashley initially decided to part ways, but after a couple of weeks, she and Damien sat together and cried their hearts out, reliving what they had been as a couple before the instance of infidelity. They eventually got back together and Damien has been a loving husband since then.

    3. Have an honest and open communication

    Can there be an alternative for a heart-to-heart conversation with your spouse about the incident and the emotional trauma caused? Well, no, since communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

    Related Reading: Surviving An Affair – 12 Steps To Reinstate Love And Trust In A Marriage

    Nandita says, “Talking leads to a better understanding of your spouse, irrespective of whether they have cheated or not.” So, detachment after infidelity may not be the best solution to mending a marriage. Even if you want your cheating spouse to accept the blame for what they’ve done and then focus on rebuilding trust in the marriage, you should be ready to communicate first.

    4. Find the root cause

    When you’re having a conversation with your cheating partner, instead of making it a show of hysterics, focus on identifying the underlying cause of the infidelity. There can be multiple reasons behind cheating, such as:

    • Dissatisfaction with one’s sex life
    • Feeling neglected or unappreciated in the marriage
    • Sudden urge to try something new

    A coworker, Janice, went through similar trauma when she realized her husband, Martin, had had a year-long affair with his secretary. Janice was devastated, till she decided to find out why her loving husband had resorted to cheating. She then realized that Martin felt emasculated because Janice earned more than him. And this led him to cheat on her to feel like an alpha male. Yes, silly, we know! But this is possible too.

    More stories on infidelity

    5. Find reasons to stay

    For anybody who wishes to continue in a marriage with a cheating spouse, there’s a need to find enough reasons to stay. Now, we’re not saying you should stick together for your children or because of societal expectations (in some cultures), but you should sit together and figure out what worked in your marriage before the infidelity.

    Related Reading: How To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship – Expert Suggests

    Nandita says, “Couples must find areas that make them wish to continue — some flicker of hope amid the gloom.” Some such reasons could be:

    • The fact that you both have a common life goal, such as traveling the world or building a start-up, which is rare to find in other people
    • Inherent traits of a partner, such as compassion or generosity, that once made you fall for them
    • Memories of some crucial moment in the past, such as a deadly accident or a painful hospitalization, where you stuck together for each other

    6. Get over negative emotions

    Nandita believes, “It’s very important to manage your negative emotions in this phase. So, be it guilt, anger, or shame, partners mustn’t just get over their emotions but should also be emotionally available for each other. The unfaithful spouse should stand by the other partner who’s devastated by the cheating incident.”

    During this stage, be mindful that there’s no:

    • Blame-shifting
    • Sarcastic comments
    • Ridicule or offensive jokes
    • Use of abusive language or name-calling

    A Reddit user agrees: “There’s no need to lay blame or feel shame. It simply works like loan forgiveness. Either the debt is forgiven and wiped from the record or it’s not. If it’s not, it becomes a matter of being honest with yourself as to just how much of a chance the relationship truly has. “

    7. Be supportive

    If you’ve weighed the pros and cons and decided to make the marriage work, it’s crucial to show your support to your partner. Nandita says, “Maybe a healthy dose of honesty and sense of love is all that is needed to revive your relationship. Be patient and try to be a supportive partner in these troubled times, especially when your cheating spouse shares what made them get into an affair in the first place.” And by being supportive, we also mean rebuilding trust. Share passwords if you have to, but remember to rekindle the trust quotient again.

    Related Reading: 10 Things To Do When You Are Drifting Apart In Your Relationship

    8. Find a support system

    While it’s crucial to be a supportive partner when you’re dealing with infidelity in your marriage, it’s also extremely important to find a support system for yourself to hasten the infidelity recovery process.

    Nandita says, “So, spend time with and confide in friends, family members, coworkers, or any mature adult who can give you sound advice. Take their suggestions but don’t let them dictate your decision. You can also spend time with your supportive friends as a healthy distraction. Treat this as a self-care activity.”

    9. Get professional help

    If all else fails, and you find it impossible to get over the unfaithfulness in marriage, well, there’s nothing better than sound and professional advice from a marriage counselor.

    Related Reading: 15 Signs Your Partner Is Sleeping With Someone Else

    You may also decide to move forward without mending your marriage if things are beyond repair. However, some expert suggestions can always speed up the healing process and help you rebuild trust in the relationship or deal with the split. And if you’re struggling to find the right professional help, Bonobology’s counselors are always ready to help!

    Key Pointers

    • Marriage is never the same after infidelity because of a lot of reasons, such as lack of trust, loss of security, and resentment
    • A marriage can survive cheating if both partners are equally devoted to making it work
    • Some ways to cope with falling out of love after infidelity are: accepting the act of infidelity, finding reasons to stay, and getting professional help

    Whether you have decided to move forward in life, without your cheating spouse or have agreed to mend the marriage and are progressing on your healing journey, remember, the decision should be yours. Don’t feel forced to get back together with a cheating partner just because your friends or family members want you to. Healing from infidelity and rebuilding trust in a marriage may take time. But you should not be feeling trapped in a marriage or regret staying in one. You have one life. Let it not go to waste over a mere act of cheating.

    FAQs

    1. How successful are marriages after infidelity?

    It all depends on how much the couple wants the marriage to work. Yes, initially, it may seem as if the pain of infidelity never goes away. But if there is equal effort from both partners, the marriage can be revived. But if one or both partners decide that the marriage is irreparable, nothing can make it work.

    2. Will a marriage ever be the same after infidelity?

    Just like glass, when broken, is shattered into pieces and can never go back to being what it was before, a marriage after infidelity too consists of broken pieces that may never be put together like before. Falling out of love after infidelity is common. And yet, the willingness of two mature partners can make the marriage work, albeit on a different dimension.

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  • 11 Signs Someone Is Hiding Something On Their Phone

    11 Signs Someone Is Hiding Something On Their Phone

    In the digital age, smartphones have become the modern-day keepers of our deepest secrets and most personal moments. The suspicion that someone close might be concealing something is a scenario many of us grapple with, the subtle signs someone is hiding something on their phone triggering a cascade of uncertainty.

    Recently, a dear friend confided in me, voicing her growing unease as she started noticing signs that her husband might be hiding something on his phone. In her words, “My husband hides things from me and lies and I don’t know what it means.” As she unfolded her concerns, I couldn’t help but empathize with the weight of her apprehension. The guarded glances, changed passwords, and newfound protectiveness over his phone raised a spectrum of questions that echoed the broader anxieties of our interconnected lives.

    Her unsettling experience prompted a closer examination of the intricate dance between trust and technology, inspiring an exploration of the 11 obvious signs someone is hiding something on their phone.

    11 Signs Someone Is Hiding Something On Their Phone

    As we deal with the complexity of relationships in the age of digital connectivity, it’s not uncommon to find ourselves questioning the degree of transparency in our relationships. The discreet glow of a phone screen can often be a source of intrigue, sparking suspicions about our loved ones and making us wonder, “Is he cheating or am I paranoid?” or “Is she cheating on me virtually or am I overthinking it?”

    In this era of technological intimacy, identifying the common signs that someone is concealing something on their phone has become a sought-after skill. From subtle shifts in behavior to guarded gestures, these indicators weave a narrative that invites us to explore the enigmatic world within the palm of our hands. So if you’re wondering, “Why is my boyfriend so secretive with his phone?” or “Why is my girlfriend in a relationship with her phone?” or “Why is my spouse so protective of their devices?”, we’re here to help. It’s time to pay attention to the 11 telltale signs someone is hiding something on their phone:

    Body language is usually a dead giveaway when someone is hiding something on their phone

    1. Their body language becomes guarded when they use their phone

    This sign involves the physical actions someone exhibits while using their phone, providing subtle cues about potential secrecy but also potentially leaving you with the question, “Is he cheating or am I paranoid?” If you notice that your partner constantly shields their phone screen from your view, it raises questions about what they might be trying to conceal.

    Guarded glances or nervous energy, where they glance furtively at the screen and then quickly avert their eyes when noticed, can be particularly telling. Similarly, if there’s a noticeable behavior change, it could be indicative of an intentional effort to keep certain phone activities hidden. There may be physical signs he is cheating on you, such as,

    • Turning away when typing a message
    • Keeping their phone face down
    • Suddenly becoming cautious about leaving their phone unattended

    Related Reading: 15 Cell Phone Cheating Signs That Confirm Infidelity

    2. They keep their phone locked down tight

    If you’re not sure what to check on his phone or why she has become so guarded about her phone, see if their attitude to password-sharing has changed. The dynamics of sharing passwords can be a sensitive aspect of trust in any relationship. When there is a sudden reluctance to share phone passwords or an unexpected alteration in password-sharing habits, it raises red flags.

    Previously open channels of digital trust become shrouded in secrecy. The password, once a shared key to transparency in the relationship, now transforms into a lock guarding undisclosed secrets. Here’s how you can spot this sign:

    • If you’re going through his phone/her phone and find it locked down, it could point to a potential desire for increased privacy or a deliberate effort to restrict access to certain aspects of his digital life
    • The shift in password-sharing habits may manifest as a withdrawal of the once-shared trust, replacing it with a newfound need for individual space

    The intrigue lies in understanding the motivation behind this change – whether it’s a response to genuine privacy concerns or a strategy to conceal specific interactions or information. As the password becomes a guarded gatekeeper, it signifies a potential inclination toward hiding things on their phone.

    3. They’ve suddenly gone into stealth mode on social media

    Wondering what to look for when snooping through a phone? A notable alteration in privacy settings, especially on messaging apps and social media platforms, can be a compelling sign that someone is actively working to limit your access to certain aspects of their online presence. While privacy adjustments are commonplace, an abrupt and heightened implementation of these settings on your partner’s phone may point to a deliberate effort to keep specific interactions or content hidden.

    Previously open windows into shared moments and connections become digitally curtained, allowing only selective glimpses. It becomes crucial to unravel the intention behind these enhanced privacy settings — is it a response to newfound concerns about digital security, or does it serve as a cover-up for the fact that they’re on the phone cheating?

    Related Reading: Thoughts every girl has when she checks her guy’s phone

    4. They’re constantly wiping the slate clean

    If you don’t know what to check on his phone or her phone, look for call logs, text messages, and app history. Regularly clearing these can be a conspicuous sign that someone is actively attempting to erase any traces of communication or phone activities and effectively hide their tracks so you can’t see who he’s texting or she’s engaging with.

    This is a red flag that goes beyond routine phone maintenance and suggests a conscious effort to maintain a clean slate, leaving no digital breadcrumbs that could potentially reveal hidden conversations or activities.

    5. They’re burning the candle at both ends — and it’s clearly not work-related

    If you’re wondering, “Why is my boyfriend so secretive with his phone?”, notice if there is an increase in phone activity during odd hours. It is a telling indicator of potential secrecy. While everyone has different schedules, a sudden surge in phone usage late at night may prompt suspicions about hidden conversations or activities.

    The quiet hours, once reserved for rest and personal time, now become a backdrop for clandestine interactions. This behavior is a red flag because:

    • Late-night phone habits can be particularly concerning when coupled with guarded behavior or increased privacy measures
    • It raises questions about the nature of the engagements taking place in the digital realm during these nocturnal hours
    • Whether it involves discreet conversations or activities that are deliberately kept under wraps, the shift in phone usage patterns becomes a noteworthy signal of potential secrecy, urging a closer examination of your partner’s unusual behavior

    6. They have suddenly become an emotional rollercoaster

    If you can’t help but think, “My husband hides things from me and lies,” or “My partner has become distant and secretive”, paying attention to noticeable behavioral changes during or after phone use can help sus out potential hidden interactions. If someone displays sudden mood swings, agitation, or withdrawal that are not in line with their usual demeanor, it may signify emotional turbulence linked to concealed digital activities.

    Whether it’s anxiety, guilt, or frustration, these emotional fluctuations offer glimpses into the impact of hidden phone activities on your partner’s emotional state. As the digital realm intertwines with real-life emotions, understanding these unexplained shifts becomes crucial in unraveling the complexity of someone concealing their phone activity.

    Related Reading: 25 WARNING Signs Of A Cheating Wife You Shouldn’t Ignore

    7. They’ve become vigilant with their notifications

    What to look for when snooping through a phone, you ask? Observing how someone handles their notifications can provide insights into potential secretive behaviors. If your partner has become overly protective or cautious about receiving notifications, taking measures to keep them hidden from view, it may signal a desire to conceal specific messages or alerts.

    Some phone habits that underscore an intentional effort to control what information is visible include,

    • Adjusting notification settings
    • Keeping their phone face down
    • Turning off previews
    • Employing additional privacy measures

    The secrecy surrounding notifications invites curiosity about the content and nature of these concealed alerts. This subtle yet significant behavior becomes a key indicator that they’re on the phone cheating on you.

    8. Signs someone is hiding something on their phone — They have a hidden identity on the web

    If you’re wondering what to look for when snooping through a phone, keep an eye out for secret social media accounts, certain apps that may be concealed, or the presence of a secondary phone — these can be a potent sign of someone actively attempting to keep specific aspects of their life hidden.

    Using additional accounts or hidden applications indicates a deliberate effort to compartmentalize different aspects of one’s digital life. It is tangible proof that your partner is actively working to keep certain facets of their digital interactions veiled from scrutiny.

    cheating

    9. They are inconsistent in their responses

    Pay attention to how your partner responds when confronted or questioned about their phone use. If their phone habits have suddenly changed, they may become evasive, provide vague answers, or exhibit inconsistency in their explanations. This can be a strong indicator that they are on the phone cheating.

    Whether it’s deflecting questions, changing the subject, or offering vague reassurances, these behaviors signal a reluctance to address concerns directly. Understanding the nuances of these reactions becomes pivotal in unraveling the complexities of someone concealing information on their phone.

    Related Reading: 15 Shocking Things Cheaters Say When Confronted

    10. They distance themselves when they’re using their phone

    A sudden increase in physical distance between you and your partner, when they use their phone, can be a clear indication that they’re on the phone cheating. While everyone values personal space, certain shifts in behavior can be a red flag, such as

    • Physically turning away
    • Facing the phone away from you
    • Moving to a different location

    The intentional distancing raises questions about what your partner is aiming to shield from view. Whether it’s text messages, social media activities, phone calls, or specific applications, the physical act of creating space signifies that they don’t want you to see who he’s texting.

    Related Reading: 12 Signs Of Snapchat Cheating And How To Expose It

    11. They become defensive when questioned

    If you’re wondering, “Why is my boyfriend so secretive with his phone?” or “Why is my girlfriend more invested in her phone than me?”, observe your partner’s reaction when you question them. If they become overly defensive, deflective, or resistant to discussing the topic, it is a conscious effort to divert attention.

    Here are some things to remember if your partner becomes defensive when questioned:

    • Defensive reactions often manifest as a reluctance to engage in open dialogue, with the individual steering the conversation away from the subject at hand
    • This defensiveness may include justifications, denials, or even attempts to place blame elsewhere
    • The reluctance to address concerns directly becomes a pivotal aspect, urging further exploration into the motivations behind the defensive posture.

    Understanding the reasons behind these defensive reactions is crucial in deciphering the complexities of someone concealing information on their phone. It prompts an exploration into the emotional and psychological aspects of privacy, trust, and the potential hidden realms within the digital space that trigger such defensive responses.

    infographic for signs someone is hiding something on their phone
    Signs that someone may be hiding something on their phone

    Tips To Uncover What Your Partner Is Hiding On Their Phone

    Now that we know some of the signs someone is hiding something on their phone, how does one deal with it? While trust is crucial in any relationship, certain situations may lead you to suspect that your partner is hiding something on their phone. It’s essential to approach this delicately, respecting privacy while seeking clarity. Here are some tips to navigate such situations:

    1. Encourage open communication

    Start by fostering open communication. Share your concerns with your partner about their phone usage without accusations. Express your feelings and desire for understanding, creating a space for an honest conversation.

    2. Ask direct questions

    Instead of making assumptions, about their deleted call logs, for example, ask direct but non-confrontational questions. Encourage your partner to share their perspective and reasons behind certain behaviors, providing them with an opportunity to be open.

    3. Express your feelings

    Instead of figuring out how to find hidden stuff on boyfriend’s phone, girlfriend’s phone, or spouse’s phone, just share your concerns openly. If you don’t trust your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, share how certain actions or behaviors make you feel rather than accusing your partner of wrongdoing. Use “I” statements to convey your emotions, fostering a more constructive and empathetic conversation.

    Related Reading: 11 Ways To Improve Communication In Relationships

    4. Be observant

    You don’t need a private investigator or a relationship expert to spot the signs someone is hiding something on their phone. Pay attention to your partner’s reactions during the conversation. Non-verbal cues can provide insights into their honesty or discomfort. Watch for physical signs he is cheating on you such as defensiveness, avoidance, or genuine remorse.

    5. Respect boundaries

    While it’s important to seek clarity, respect your partner’s privacy. It’s vital to have healthy boundaries in a relationship. Avoid violating these boundaries by going through their phone without permission, as this can worsen the situation and erode trust further.

    Related Reading: 9 Examples Of Emotional Boundaries In Relationships

    6. Ask for transparency

    If you’re wondering how to find hidden stuff on boyfriend’s phone, girlfriend’s phone, or spouse’s phone, propose the idea of transparency in the relationship, especially if certain actions have caused doubt. This could involve mutual agreement on sharing certain aspects of your digital lives to rebuild trust.

    7. Seek mutual solutions

    Work together to find solutions that address concerns while respecting both partners’ needs for privacy. Finding compromises and common ground can strengthen the relationship.

    my husband hides things from me and lies
    Seek mutual solutions when dealing with a partner who is hiding something on their phone

    8. Trust your intuition

    Trust your instincts but also recognize when your own insecurities or past experiences may be influencing your perception. Strive for a balance between intuition and rationality. Remember, healthy relationships are built on trust, communication, mutual respect, and understanding. Approach the situation with empathy, and be open to the possibility that there might be underlying issues that need to be addressed collaboratively.

    Key Pointers

    • When someone is hiding something on their phone, some telltale signs give them away
    • Guarded body language, secretive behavior, and defensive reactions when questioned are some key signs that they’re up to something
    • When you confront your partner about this kind of behavior, be sure to do so calmly and respectfully while safeguarding your boundaries

    In exploring the delicate topic of a partner’s potential secrecy on their phone, it becomes evident that communication, trust, and empathy are pivotal in maintaining a healthy relationship. Acknowledging the signs should be approached with sensitivity, fostering open dialogue rather than assumptions. The tips provided underscore the importance of respecting privacy, choosing opportune moments for discussions, and seeking professional guidance if needed. 

    Ultimately, fostering mutual understanding and finding common ground ensures that relationships can withstand the challenges of the digital age, where the boundaries between privacy and shared lives become increasingly intertwined. Through these insights, individuals can approach the complexities of modern relationships with a thoughtful and compassionate mindset, reinforcing the pillars of trust and communication.

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  • I cheated on my boyfriend. How do I fix it?

    I cheated on my boyfriend. How do I fix it?

    I made a stupid mistake. My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot recently about the smallest things. We’re both stubborn people and so it feels like every little disagreement turns into something big. After one of our particularly bad fights, I went out with my friends. I met this guy and we ended up sleeping together. I never thought me cheating on my boyfriend was possible because I have been faithful in every relationship in the past. I still love him and I know I want to be with him. But can you love someone and still cheat? Does me cheating mean maybe subconsciously I don’t love him? It’s just that night, it felt so good to just have a fun time. I wasn’t worried about avoiding topics or saying the wrong thing, it was just easy and simple. I didn’t even particularly like that guy and I won’t ever be speaking to him again but I don’t know what to do now. How can I fix my relationship after infidelity? Despite all our fights, I still think what I have with my boyfriend is special. Can our relationship go back to normal after cheating?

    Related Reading: I cheated on my boyfriend but I want him back

    Answer:

    This is bound to be a deeply hurtful situation for both of you, and will be tricky to navigate. The most important thing is to confess it to him, as that is something he deserves to know. It won’t be easy, but you owe him honesty out of respect for him and your relationship. Cheating does not necessarily mean you don’t love your partner. Cheating is often more complex than it seems, usually with some pre-existing problems in the relationship, subconscious resentment towards the partner and seeking to fulfill a need which the relationship may not have met for you.

    Here are a few things that would help you and your partner overcome this.

    1. Take accountability
      The most important things that help couples overcome infidelity are: trust and accountability. You need to be in a position where you can acknowledge your mistake, without throwing blame on anyone or anything else, and take accountability for your actions.
    2. Underlying problems
      Cheating is rarely as straightforward as it seems and there are usually other problems plaguing the relationship. In your case, it would be the frequent fights which would have led to emotional distance, alienation and resentment on both sides. Only when your needs – emotional, intellectual and physical – are not being met in your relationship, will you seek it outside of your relationship. Work on identifying what needs of yours were not being met, and what you can do about. Remember, this can be an explanation for what has happened, not an excuse.
    3. Be open and receptive
      Listen to his feelings and give him the time he needs to process this. Remember that his emotional experience is valid – whether it is anger, grief, disbelief, etc. Try to establish open and honest communication where you can both share your feelings, needs and expectations. Be willing to accept your partner’s needs and wishes.
    4. Rebuilding trust
      If your partner is willing to stay and work on the relationship, it will require both of your commitment to making it work. On your end, providing reassurance through words and actions is crucial in order to rebuild trust in the relationship. Commit to making changes in the relationship, if that is something you are ready for. Consider couples counseling if both of you are willing to make it work. A therapist can help you navigate communication, trust building and forgiveness in a healthier manner.
    5. Check in with yourself
      Don’t try to make this relationship work solely from a place of guilt. Ask yourself what you need and if you think you are able and willing to do what it will take to make this relationship okay. Take time to reflect on yourself and notice any self-sabotaging patterns that may have led you here.
    6. Be patient
      With yourself and with your partner. This is going to be a tedious process for both of you to overcome, and shaming or blaming yourself or each other will not help.

    Related Reading: I Cheated but I Want To Save My Relationship

    FAQs

    1. Can a relationship work after cheating?

    Yes, a relationship can work after cheating. However, whether the couple is able to overcome cheating or not will depend on:
    1. The ability of both partners to accountability for their role in the problems in their relationship
    2. The willingness of both partners to commit to change and making an effort for the relationship
    3. Whether or not both are able to let go of resentment towards each other
    4. Whether they communicate openly and honestly with each other, and extend empathy towards each other

    2. How to gain trust after cheating?

    It’s a difficult task. However, the most important thing is honesty, about what happened and why you think it happened. Only after this truth has been addressed, can you and your partner move towards repairing trust. 
    1. Be patient with yourself and your partner
    2. Provide your partner with reassurance and space, as and when they need it
    3. Address the underlying problems in your relationship which led to this. 
    4. Introspect and try to understand the reasoning behind your actions as well. Take accountability for your actions. 
    5. Consider couples counseling.

    3. Why did I cheat on my boyfriend?

    Cheating is rarely as straightforward as it seems. There are several different reasons why people cheat, however, in order for you to know your reason, you’d have to think about what needs of yours were not being fulfilled in your relationship. These could of course be physical needs but they could also be: need for connection, need for security, need to be needed, validation, attention, appreciation, etc.

    11 Tips To Build A Successful Relationship After Cheating

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  • My husband cheated and had a baby with the other woman

    My husband cheated and had a baby with the other woman

    My husband and I have been married for 6 years and have 1 daughter. Our marriage hasn’t been good for a while. It feels like we can’t have a single conversation without it turning into a fight. We both love our daughter and so for her sake, I always believed we would fix things eventually. I just found out that my husband cheated and had a baby with the other woman. Apparently they’ve been having an affair for over a year and it was an accident. My husband’s mistress is 7 months pregnant and she wants him to leave me and start a new family with her before the baby comes. I feel lost and I want to protect myself but I don’t know how. What are my rights if my husband cheated on me? Can I sue my husband for getting another woman pregnant? We already have a family together and I just can’t believe he would be stupid enough to have a baby with his mistress. I don’t even know whether I want him to stay with me or not. Please give me advice on what to do if my husband got another woman pregnant.

    Answer:

    I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a difficult time. I can imagine that the news of your husband’s infidelity, coupled with the fact that he got the other woman pregnant, can be devastating and emotionally taxing. It’s very important for you now to seek support and connection from friends and family. This is not something you should be handling alone.

    Take the time out for some self-care as well, especially on the days when you don’t want to. Ironically, those are the days when we need it most. This could be in the form of indulging in your hobbies, spending time with loved ones, spending time in nature, etc.

    A good place to start figuring things out from would be to try and understand what it is that you want to do. The decision to stay in the marriage or not is a complex one, so make sure you’re not forcing yourself to lean towards a particular decision. Be as genuine and authentic to your emotional experience as possible. You may consider marriage or couples counseling to figure out what both of you want to do about this marriage.

    It would also help to have an open and honest conversation with your husband regarding the entire issue, if you feel up for it. Of course, the conversation could be tense, and may aggravate the hurt you are feeling. But there are certain questions only he can answer for you. It might just give you the insight you need to make your decision. If you do choose to have this conversation, try not to jump into an accusatory place. State your feelings firmly and try to hold out as much empathy for him as you can. That is the only way the conversation will stay on track and won’t make either person defensive.

    It is also crucial for you to have some boundaries in place to ensure your well-being and safety. Recognise what it is that you need most, and then ask for it. Whether it be space, or some time to think, or help and support from others. Consider therapy or counseling to help you navigate the jumble of thoughts and emotions you’re dealing with. Whether you have legal grounds to sue your husband for his actions largely depends on the laws in your jurisdiction and the specific circumstances of your situation. In many jurisdictions, infidelity itself is not typically grounds for a lawsuit, as it is considered a personal matter rather than a legal one.

    However, if your husband’s actions have resulted in financial harm to you or if there are legal implications related to child custody, support, or division of assets, you may have legal recourse. For example, if your husband’s infidelity and subsequent relationship with another woman lead to the dissolution of your marriage and financial losses, you may be able to pursue legal remedies such as divorce proceedings, spousal support, or a fair division of marital assets.

    It’s important to consult with a qualified attorney who specializes in family law in your area to discuss your specific circumstances and explore your legal options. They can provide personalized advice and guidance based on the laws applicable to your situation and help you understand your rights and potential courses of action.

    Lastly, do not deny your emotions. All of your emotions, whether it be grief, sadness, anger, envy or frustration, are perfectly valid. Try to hold space for these emotions and avoid suppressing them.

    FAQs

    1.⁠ ⁠Should I leave my husband after he had baby with other women?

    There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this. However, before you make that decision, there are a few things you should consider:
    1. Your feelings on the matter, whether you are able or willing to make this marriage work
    2. What would be the best course of action for you?
    3. The implications that staying or leaving could have on your child. Often, children end up sustaining more damage from a dysfunctional relationship with parents rather than separated parents. 
    4. Analyze your marital relationship. Is there a sufficient basis for you to build something upon, or even for the sake of repairing the relationship. If you choose to stay, what is it that you are staying for?
    5.Get some legal and financial consultation for how either decision would affect you. 
    6. Garner support from friends and family who you trust. Consider personal therapy as well.

    2.⁠ ⁠What should i do if my husband got another woman pregnant?

    It’s an incredibly challenging and emotionally taxing situation to be in. Here are the following things to consider:
    1. Take some time for yourself and give it some thought, trying to understand what you want to do. 
    2. Communicate with your husband openly and honestly to get clarity about his thought process as well. 
    3. Seek support from your loved ones and consider therapy or counseling. 
    4. Assess your options and try to get all the legal and financial information you need. Also assess the state of your marriage 5. and whether you think there is any possibility of recovery and repair. 
    6. Prioritize self care. 

    3.⁠ ⁠Can I trust my husband again after he cheated?

    Rebuilding a relationship after infidelity is possible, and there are couples who overcome it. However, whether it is possible for you or not, is something you get to decide for yourself. It takes a lot of work to rebuild the trust that is broken. 
    1. Consider if you are able to willing to work on this marriage and what are your reasons for doing so
    2. It will require your husband to take accountability and make a choice between you and the other person involved. 
    3. It will take a lot of open and honest communication between both of you, which can be exhausting, but will provide you the clarity you need. 
    4. Look at your feelings and your emotional experience to decide whether you want to trust him again. 

    Consider marriage or couples counseling to gain better clarity, establish healthy communication patterns and to help you realize what you want and need.

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  • Is my wife cheating? Quiz

    Is my wife cheating? Quiz

    A nagging suspicion. A late-night text. A business trip that feels…different. If thoughts of infidelity are swirling in your mind, you’re not alone. Many husbands grapple with the question: Is My Wife Cheating?

    This quiz has been created by a psychologist and relationship counselor who draws upon her experience, to make this process as simple as possible. Through these 8 multiple-choice questions, you will be able to explore the signs and patterns of cheating behavior. We all know the sinking feeling of suspicion, but pinpointing the root cause can be tricky. Is it a genuine concern, or a fear fueled by past experiences?

    Related Quiz: Is My Partner Cheating On Me? Quiz

    This isn’t an “infidelity test” that delivers a definitive answer. It is the first step in knowing whether you should seek help. Whether your suspicions are unfounded or there’s something deeper going on, this quiz will be a crucial first step. Use this to have a conversation with your wife about how you’ve been feeling. If both you and your wife are committed to being with each other and willing to put in the work, you will figure it out. So, just remember that knowledge is power. Take the quiz and find the clarity you seek.

    Questions

    1. How often do you notice unexplained changes in your wife’s behavior or routine?

    • Frequently
    • Occasionally
    • Rarely

    2. Have you observed any suspicious or secretive communication between your wife and someone else?

    • Yes, on multiple occasions
    • Occasionally, but nothing significant
    • No, not at all

    3. Do you feel like your wife is emotionally distant or disconnected from you lately?

    • Yes, consistently
    • Occasionally, but it’s not a major concern
    • No, we’re still emotionally connected

    Related Quiz: Gut feeling he is cheating, no proof Quiz

    4. Have there been any unexplained absences or inconsistencies in your wife’s schedule?

    • Yes, frequently
    • Occasionally
    • No, her schedule is consistent

    5. Do you notice any changes in your wife’s appearance or grooming habits that seem unusual?

    • Yes, there have been noticeable changes
    • Occasionally, but they could be unrelated
    • No, her appearance is consistent

    6. Have you found any suspicious items or evidence that suggest infidelity, such as unexplained receipts or belongings?

    • Yes, on multiple occasions
    • Occasionally, but nothing conclusive
    • No, I haven’t found anything suspicious

    7. Do you feel like your wife is defensive or evasive when you ask about her whereabouts or activities?

    • Yes, consistently
    • Occasionally, but not always
    • No, she’s open and honest with me

    8. Have you noticed any significant changes in your wife’s attitude towards intimacy or physical affection?

    • Yes, there’s been a noticeable decrease
    • Occasionally, but it could be due to other factors
    • No, our intimacy levels are consistent

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  • Should I Forgive Him For Cheating? Quiz

    Should I Forgive Him For Cheating? Quiz

    In the aftermath of cheating, a tidal wave of emotions can leave you feeling lost and questioning everything. The bond you once had complete faith in gets shaken and suddenly, you don’t know what to trust anymore. In your heartbreak, the big question looms: Should I forgive him for cheating?

    This 10-question quiz, created by a relationship counselor who has helped countless couples navigate the complexities of infidelity, is designed to help you choose your path forward. While the internet can be flooded with resources like “should I stay with a cheater” quizzes, true healing often requires a deeper dive. You might be feeling so many emotions, you don’t know where to start unraveling them. So, think of this as a tool that will let you better understand how you’re feeling.

    There’s no right or wrong answer – come couples recover from cheating and stay happy, while others find peace by separating. The path to forgiveness isn’t easy but with dedication, the relationship could emerge stronger on the other side. You need to prepare yourself for that. You’ll find yourself constantly wrestling with questions. Will a cheater always be a cheater? Can a relationship truly sustain itself after infidelity? Just remember, it is a deeply personal decision and one that both you and him need to be ready to undertake.

    Remember, forgiveness is a choice, and choosing to forgive (or not forgive) doesn’t make you weak or unworthy. This quiz is a starting point, but consider seeking professional help from a qualified therapist to help you navigate this difficult journey.

    Related Quiz: Is My Husband Cheating On Me? Quiz

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    Questions

    1. How deeply do you value honesty and trust in a relationship?
      1. They are the foundation of any healthy relationship
      2. They’re important but other things matter too
      3. They’re not a priority for me
    1. How sorry is he for his actions?
      1. He seems genuine and willing to change
      2. I can’t tell if he is being genuine
      3. Not very. He’s still finding excuses
    1. How committed are you to making this relationship work?
      1. I’m willing to put in the work
      2. I’m not sure
      3. I don’t think this relationship is worth it
    1. Have you both openly communicated about the infidelity and its impact on the relationship?
      1. Yes, we’ve had honest conversations about it.
      2. We’ve talked about it, but there are still unresolved issues.
      3. No, we haven’t had a chance to discuss it properly.
    1. Are there underlying issues in the relationship that may have contributed to the cheating?
      1. No, our relationship was generally healthy before this incident.
      2. There were some issues, but they can be worked through.
      3. Yes, our relationship has been struggling for a while.
    1. Do you believe in second chances?
      1. Yes, everyone deserves a chance to redeem themselves.
      2. It depends on the situation and the person.
      3. No, once trust is broken, it’s irreparable.
    1. How much does the cheating incident bother you?
      1. It has deeply hurt me, but I’m willing to work through it.
      2. It bothers me, but I’m trying to overcome it.
      3. I’m not sure if I can get past it.
    1. Have you sought support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you process your emotions?
      1. Yes, I have a support system in place.
      2. I could use more support.
      3. No, I’ve been dealing with it on my own.
    1. Are you able to forgive and let go of resentment?
      1. I’m working on forgiveness, but it’s a process.
      2. I’m struggling, but I’m open to the possibility.
      3. I don’t think I can ever forgive him.
    1. How confident are you that the cheating won’t happen again?
      1. I believe he has learned from his mistake and won’t repeat it.
      2. I want to be hopeful that it won’t happen again.
      3. I fear it might happen again.

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  • why do i always think my girlfriend is cheating

    why do i always think my girlfriend is cheating

    My girlfriend has been acting a little suspicious recently and I feel like she might be seeing another guy. She is hooked to her phone and seems to have a lot more plans these days than usual. I don’t know – is she cheating or am I paranoid? I asked her and she said she isn’t and was hurt that I would even suggest it. Why do I always think my girlfriend is cheating? This isn’t the first time I’ve suspected her. I just have a big fear of cheating and losing my girlfriend. Please tell me how to tell if she’s cheating.

    Answer:

    Distrust or lack of faith towards your partner can either be stemming from an insecurity or a fear that you carry, or, it could be due to your partner’s behavior as well. Oftentimes, the two end up supplementing each other to create a torturous headspace where you can’t trust your partner and feel guilty for it. Rather than trying to find out if she is cheating or not – which will only supplement your fear – it would be helpful to understand the basis of this fear.

    Engage in introspection and ask yourself, “What is the root of this fear?” As you approach this topic, do so with curiosity and with the intention to understand. Withhold judgment and criticism from yourself, as that will hinder your thought process. Instead of trying to sort your beliefs and feelings as good or bad, healthy or unhealthy, focus on simply observing them and examining their purpose for being here.

    Related Reading: Cheating In A Long-Distance Relationship

    • Your fear of being cheated on by your girlfriend could likely be due to painful past experiences of some sort, or due to an inherent belief of unlovability which manifests in this manner. I would recommend speaking to a counselor or therapist to analyze your internalized beliefs so that they stop interfering in this manner with your life.
    • Communicate with your girlfriend about the difficulty you’re facing. However, instead of phrasing it as an accusation, make sure you emphasize your emotional experience, for example, “I feel scared that you might cheat on me.” Instead of, “Are you cheating on me, be honest.” The second sentence makes the other person feel accused, threatened and insulted. In that case, they would get defensive and the conversation could turn hostile.
    • Be open to your partner’s perspective as well, instead of shutting them down.
    • Consider whether your girlfriend has ever given you reasons to mistrust her, or done something which wounded your trust in her. Your paranoia could have some basis in reality as well. If she has done something in the past to wound your trust, ask yourself if that is coloring how you feel currently.
    • Work on identifying the situations that trigger your mistrust. It could be her being on her phone and hiding her phone from you, for example. Notice how these triggers make you feel – neglected, alone, abandoned, angry, etc.
    • Work on building trust in the relationship through expressing your needs, spending quality time together and creating emotional intimacy.

    Related Reading: Get Your Girlfriend To Admit She Cheated

    This process can seem daunting to take on by yourself, but remember that you’re not alone and that it is okay to rely on your partner for reassurance. However, it is your responsibility to put in work towards yourself as well. Seeking therapy can be beneficial as well, as a therapist can help you explore the causes of your fear, understand your triggers and develop better communicating and coping techniques.

    FAQs

    1. How do I know if my girlfriend cheated on me?

    There can be a few of the following signs if your girlfriend cheated on you. However, remember that these signs being there don’t necessarily mean there was cheating involved. Rather, they are indicative of problems in the relationship. 
    1. Sudden changes in behavior such as becoming secretive and hiding things from you
    2. Lack of intimacy, physical or emotional. Can show up as avoiding spending time with you, making excuses to be elsewhere, etc. 
    3. Decreased interest in the relationship, like talking about the future together, celebrating important milestones. A general disinterest or disengagement in the relationship. 
    4. Inconsistency and unexplained absences. 

    2. Why do I feel like my gf is cheating on me?

    There can be several reasons behind feeling paranoid about your girlfriend cheating on you, such as:
    1. Past experiences wherein you were cheated on, or your partner was disengaged with you. It could also be from seeing people around you either partake in or be affected by infidelity. 
    2. Insecurity leading to difficulty in trusting. In the sense that it is hard for you to believe that your girlfriend could be committed to you due to your low opinion of yourself. 
    3. Feelings of inadequacy, in other words, feeling as though you are not good enough for your partner
    4. Fear of abandonment
    5. Unresolved conflicts in the relationship and unmet needs. 
    6. It could be a gut feeling as well.

    3. How should I confront my girlfriend about my suspicions?

    Since this is an emotionally charged situation, it needs to be approached delicately. Avoid throwing blame or accusations around, as this will lead to your girlfriend feeling defensive and insulted and the conversation can become painful for both of you. Here’s a few things to keep in mind:
    1. Gain clarity over your feelings. The point is to communicate how you feel, so focus on that. Consider how her behavior made you feel and what it triggered. Also try to see if there is any evidence to support your suspicions. 
    2. Choose a time and place which doesn’t make either person uncomfortable, and avoid bringing up this conversation in the middle of a fight. 
    3. Be specific about her behavior which made you feel paranoid. Respectfully ask her to clarify situations which made you feel paranoid. 
    4. Be open to listening to her end of the story as well. Communication is a two way street.

    Before you go into this conversation, be clear about what you expect to come out of it and why you’re doing it. Remember to take care of yourself throughout this process as it can be quite emotionally and mentally draining.

    Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend

    Is My Girlfriend Cheating On Me? How To Know If She Is

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  • I Cheated but I Want To Save My Relationship %

    I Cheated but I Want To Save My Relationship %

    How to fix a relationship after lying and cheating? I made a stupid drunken mistake and wish I could undo it. I cheated on my girlfriend and I regret it. She is heartbroken and is not able to forgive me. She says now she finds herself questioning everything I say to her. Please tell me how to regain trust in a relationship after cheating. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make us survive cheating. I need her to see how much I care about her and how much I want us to stay together and rebuild the love we shared. Please tell me honestly – can a relationship recover from cheating

    Answer:

    Cheating is often seen in a very straight-forward manner, when it is anything but. There are several factors which contribute to cheating including but not limited to: partner factors, health of the relationship, personal factors and values, etc.
    First and foremost, it’s important for you to acknowledge her pain and respect whatever boundaries she may draw. Rebuilding trust after a relationship is a difficult process, and doesn’t always end in success. However, there are couples who are able to recover from infidelity and come back stronger. In an effort to do so, consider the following.

    Related Reading: Can A Relationship Survive Cheating?

    1. Acknowledge your actions and take responsibility for them. While there can be several reasons that lead to cheating, at the end of the day, it is a decision you made. Hence, no amount of blaming or reasoning will make it okay. Even though in your case it was a drunken mistake, you cannot shirk off that responsibility. The most respectful thing you can do towards your partner is to take responsibility and show your sincere guilt over this. If nothing else, I am sure she will appreciate a genuine heartfelt apology for causing her pain, which does not include any excuses.

    2. Be empathetic towards your partner’s pain. Validate whatever emotions come up for your partner and give her what she needs. Even if that is being left alone. You need to respect her decision as well. Above all, approach her with patience and compassion. She has quite a bit to sort through when it comes to her own emotions. Do not pressurise her into making decisions. Do not attempt to isolate her from her support system either.

    3. Communicate with honesty and kindness. Overcoming cheating will require work on both of your part, to acknowledge that something was problematic in your relationship and work on repairing it. Provide a safe space for your partner to convey what she will need in order to rebuild her trust in you. This can look like offering reassurance, either verbally, or through your actions, showing that you are reliable and trustworthy.

    4. Commit to change. Simply communicating and taking accountability will not help. Both you and your partner need to commit to making changes in your relationship and following through with actions, not just words. Work on understanding the underlying reasons behind your behaviour, and address whatever issues or insecurities that pop up. It will be uncomfortable to do so, however, if you can get through this phase successfully, your bond will be stronger than ever. Make concrete changes in terms of drawing and respecting boundaries, not maintaining contact with the person you cheated with.

    Related Reading: Common Types Of Cheating In A Relationship

    5. Take counselling. Speaking to a couple’s counsellor or a marital therapist can help you establish healthy communication patterns with your partner and overcome cheating in the relationship.

    6. Be realistic and expect setbacks. Progress is never a linear journey, this means that when you and your partner are working on rebuilding your relationship, there will be setbacks along the way. Do not be discouraged by them as this is only natural.

    Perhaps most importantly, be honest with yourself and your partner. It is better to part ways than to stay in a relationship out of guilt or shame.

    FAQs

    1. Can a relationship work after cheating?

    It is possible to make a relationship work after cheating, however, it is a deeply personal issue to every couple and their response to it will be unique as well. The success of a relationship after cheating will depend on:
    -Willingness of both partners to make it work
    -Ability of partners to rebuild trust and faith
    -Presence of underlying relationship problems
    -Effective communication
    –Counselling/therapy

    2. How to earn trust after cheating?

    Earning back your partner’s trust after cheating requires consistent effort, honesty, and dedication. Begin by taking full responsibility for your actions and acknowledging the hurt you’ve caused. Be transparent and open in all communication, answering questions honestly and demonstrating genuine remorse. Follow through on promises and commitments, showing reliability and consistency over time. Respect your partner’s boundaries and give them space to heal at their own pace. Seek counselling or therapy together to address underlying issues and rebuild intimacy. Above all, be patient and understanding, recognizing that rebuilding trust is a gradual process that requires ongoing effort and sincerity.

    Cheating In A Long-Distance Relationship

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  • Is My Husband Cheating On Me? Quiz

    Is My Husband Cheating On Me? Quiz

    Living with a constant suspicion of your husband’s fidelity can be incredibly emotionally draining. You might find yourself asking, “Is my husband cheating on me?” or wondering if you’re simply overthinking things. This “Is My Husband Cheating On Me?” quiz, created by a licensed relationship counselor, is designed to put an end to these thoughts and give you some answers.

    It’s important to understand that this quiz is not a definitive answer, but rather a tool to help you determine if there is something deeper in your marriage that has left you questioning his loyalty. It explores potential signs that indicate infidelity, such as changes in behavior, secretive phone use, or emotional disconnect. By answering these questions honestly, you can gain a clearer understanding of your situation and identify areas that may warrant further investigation.

    This cheating test is not meant to fuel suspicion or paranoia, but rather to empower you with information and encourage open communication. So, find a quiet corner, answer these 10 multiple choice questions and brace yourself for the results.

    Related Quiz: Gut feeling he is cheating, no proof Quiz

    Related Quiz: Is my marriage over? Quiz

    Questions

    1.Your husband hides his expenditure/financial history from you. 

    1. All/most of the time
    2. Sometimes
    3. Rarely/Not at all

    2. Does your husband spend a lot of time on his phone?

    1. All/most of the time
    2. Sometimes
    3. Rarely/Not at all

    3. Your husband avoid telling you his plans or whereabouts

    1. All/most of the time
    2. Sometimes
    3. Rarely/Not at all

    4. Has your husband been asking for more privacy lately?

    1. All/most of the time
    2. Sometimes
    3. Rarely/Not at all

    5. Your husband is attentive to your needs, emotional, monitory and physical. 

    1. All/most of the time
    2. Sometimes
    3. Rarely/Not at all

    6. How often does your husband excitedly share news/things about his life with you?

    1. All/most of the time
    2. Sometimes
    3. Rarely/Not at all

    7. Does your husband avoid being intimate with you?

    1. All/most of the time
    2. Sometimes
    3. Rarely/Not at all

    8. Does your husband get irritated with you?

    1. All/most of the time
    2. Sometimes
    3. Rarely/Not at all

    9. Does your husband leave the room when he has to make a call?

    1. All/most of the time
    2. Sometimes
    3. Rarely/Not at all

    10. Your husband suddenly has an increased workload and needs to stay back at the office for longer

    1. All/most of the time
    2. Sometimes
    3. Rarely/Not at all

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  • 15 Cell Phone Cheating Signs That Confirm Infidelity

    15 Cell Phone Cheating Signs That Confirm Infidelity

    My friend called me up in a frenzy. Her boyfriend would sometimes walk out of the room to answer his phone. Other times, she would walk in, and he would abruptly end a phone conversation. So, when she asked me, “How can I check my partner’s phone for cheating?” I had the perfect response, “All you need is to look out for some cell phone cheating signs to catch him.”

    Given how common and easy phone cheating has become, allowing people to betray their partner’s trust while sitting right next to them, her fears were neither unfounded nor unique. So, many people struggle with similar fears and insecurities — you know that pit in the stomach you feel when you suspect your partner is cheating on the phone and feel desperate to find out the truth one way or the other. Sounds relatable? Let’s take a closer look at the digital behaviors and signs that can be helpful in catching cheaters.

    15 Subtle But Clear Cell Phone Cheating Signs

    Sure, technological advancements have made cheating on the phone and purely online affairs easier than ever, leaving relationships at a greater risk of infidelity. However, this is a double-edged sword because when one engages in phone cheating, they leave tons of breadcrumbs behind.

    Anyone with a discerning eye and some basic tech knowledge can uncover them. To find answers, all you need is to know what to look for on his phone or how to check her phone for suspicious activity. From looking for apps cheaters use to cheating spouse text message codes, and even learning how cheaters hide their tracks, there are so many ways of catching cheaters no matter how smart they think they are.

    So, allow me to share the top 15 cell phone cheating signs to help you catch a cheating partner. Yup, time for some super sleuthing using the phone’s locations, search histories, secret contacts, secret messages, covert video, and more. 

    Related Reading: 17 Signs Your Partner Is Having An Online Affair

    1. Check the Google Maps app

    The trick here is to look for frequent destinations but unknown to you. Here’s what you need to do.

    • Check their Google timeline feature on the Google Maps app. That will highlight any unfamiliar locations. Also, take note of the timings. Do they visit particular places when they should be at work or at night? 
    • Analyze their significant locations. Do the results align with where they typically go at particular times? 

    A Reddit user has some advice. “If she uses Google Maps for anything, it will track every location she’s been to. When you open Google Maps, you will see her initial to the right of the search bar, and you can select ‘Your TimeLine’. You can view activities by Day, Trips, Insights, Places, Cities, and World.” See, it’s as simple as that. You don’t need a GPS device to track a cheating spouse/partner when an app on their phone can do the trick.

    2. Pinpoint movement with location services

    Location services can let you know if your partner is cheating on you. They will deactivate or change the location-sharing preferences. So,

    • Keep a close eye on the location services settings
    • Ensure your partner’s claims of where they are is corroborated by the location data
    • Ask why your partner has made changes to the sharing preferences or deactivates the system services
    • Your spouse’s location history can unveil a lot of important information as any deviations from the norm may signal they are cheating

    3. Check their phone’s frequent locations

    Did you know a phone can prove to be the best GPS device to track cheating spouse/partner? A phone’s frequent locations setting can give a lot of information. For instance, does the suspect partner have an iPhone? If yes, it makes sense that you would want to know where to look on iPhone for cheating. Well, the iPhone user’s frequent locations feature can help track movements. Check for,

    • Unexplained locations that you know your partner doesn’t visit
    • Any weird deviations from their normal route
    • Another cell phone cheating sign is altered locations within specific time frames 

    Related Reading: Behavior After Getting Caught Cheating – 5 Things To Expect And 7 Things To Do

    4. Monitor app usage

    There are specific apps cheaters use to engage in phone cheating. So, you need to check for the following:

    • What hidden apps do cheaters use? Well, they prefer unfamiliar apps like those for dating or messaging
    • Hidden apps like chat apps, free photo vaults or Calculator apps may be masking illicit activities
    • Check app usage stats for unexplained spikes or weird patterns

    To answer the question, “How can I check my partner’s phone for cheating?”, you can consider having some of the best apps to catch a cheater on your own phone. There are tons available, both paid and free.

    5. How do cheaters communicate? Uncover conversations with online Google documents

    There are many signs of a cheating wife or husband or partner. Some are pretty obvious like sudden secrecy, being distant, and a lack of intimacy. But if a cheater is really smart, they may mask their feelings well enough to keep you from unraveling their transgressions.

    They may also steer clear of the typical ways to interact with their affair partner to cover their tracks and come up with nifty tricks to keep cheating without getting caught. For instance, they may create online Google documents to hide their activities. So, you need to check for,

    • Cryptic content or code language, especially in shared docs
    • Pay attention to the doc titles and check the ones that seem unusual
    • The timestamps will let you know when your partner is communicating with another. Pay extra attention to any that is happening outside of normal hours. For instance, why is he sharing docs at 3 a.m. when he should be asleep? Or why is she spending the entire weekend glued to her computer instead of spending time with the family?

    Related Reading: What is Double Texting And What Are Its Pros And Cons?

    6. Look for encrypted or deleted text messages

    I told my girlfriend that getting a hold of his phone wasn’t enough. She also needed to know what to look for on his phone. I recommended she should go straight to text messages. She needed to check for the following cheating spouse text message codes,

    • Unusual language usage
    • Nicknames she is not aware of 
    • Suspicious or flirty emojis
    • Hidden folders within the text message folder
    • Deleted threads

    If the activity of her partner’s phone appears suspicious, she should consider using tracking software that will allow her to monitor incoming and outgoing text messages discreetly. Commenting on ways to spot a partner cheating on the phone, a Reddit user says, “I would add odd behavior with the phone, like being cautious when they write messages and trying to do it in a way it won’t be visible what they write and to whom.”

    7. Check their multimedia for vital clues

    Wondering what to look for on someone’s phone to see if they are cheating? Here is one that must pay attention to multimedia files. Pay attention to any unusual video, audio, or picture files. Many cheaters will use the free photo vault to store photos for whatever reason. 

    Now, how do cheaters hide stuff on their phones? Simple, they use password-protected files or folders. To unmask a partner/husband/ wife cheating on phone, you must:

    • Scrutinize the files for content that raises your suspicion antennae. Determine what is the file’s real purpose and whether the content aligns
    • Check for hidden files
    • Verify timestamps for unusual activity 

    Related Reading: Cheating In A Long-Distance Relationship – 18 Subtle Signs

    8. How do cheaters hide stuff on their phones? They use cloud services

    Digital cheating crumbs are plentiful in the cloud service your partner uses. Common ones include online cloud box, Google Drive, DropBox, etc. Once you access the particular cloud service, look for,

    • Hidden photos, secret messages, documents, or photos 
    • Password-protected folders 
    • Files with cryptic names 
    • Check the computer’s trash for recently deleted digital items. The recycle bin retains items for up to 90 days, during which you can recover them
    infographic on cellphone cheating signs
    15 cellphone cheating signs that confirm infidelity

    9. Check browser tabs

    A cheating spouse may get into the habit of shuffling browser tabs on the home screen or hiding bookmarks to keep their activities secret. One of the effective ways of catching cheaters is to check the search histories for unusual queries, like routinely accessing dating sites, checking hotels, and even searching for romantic getaways.

    10. Observe online behavior

    How your partner behaves online can give you tons of information on whether they are cheating. If you suspect phone cheating, an online affair, or even a real-life affair being carried on in the virtual realm as well, here are some things you need to pay attention to: 

    • Check if they have hidden social media accounts
    • Track whether they delete photos or posts
    • Try to see what online documents they have
    • Monitor their online interactions, especially with unknown persons. For instance, having a BFF you know nothing about could be a sign your partner is cheating on Snapchat
    • Check their search parameters based on their online activities

    The thing is, while you may be scratching your head, trying to find an answer to, “What hidden apps do cheaters use?”, they may well be using platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat to carry on their transgressions. The signs of a partner/husband/wife cheating on phone can often be hidden in plain sight.

    Related Reading: 11 Practical Tips To Get Over Someone Fast

    11. Track communication with Google Voice Number

    How do cheaters communicate? Any way they can retain a level of anonymity. Google users have access to Google Voice Numbers linked to their accounts. They can easily use such to make anonymous/secret calls and texts. Of course, that also accounts for how cheaters hide their tracks. So, the key to catching cheaters, especially when most of their deceit is perpetuated in the virtual space, is to take a no-holds-barred approach.

    12. Password secrecy and excessive possessiveness of phones

    how do cheaters hide stuff in their phones
    Password secrecy can be an indication of cheating

    Here’s one of the classic cell phone cheating signs. My friend says her boyfriend takes his phone everywhere, including the shower. This was, in fact, one of the first things that led to start suspecting that her partner was cheating on her. Transparency in relationships is critical for its success. Device use secrecy can end up damaging the bond between the two of you. If you’re faced with similar circumstances, cell phone signs she’s cheating or he’s betraying your trust:

    • Frequent changes in the phone password
    • Being increasingly protective of the device
    • Refusing to let you see what he/she is doing on their phone or computer
    • Becoming angry or exceedingly uncomfortable if you insist on seeing the phone

    Please note, these cell phone signs she’s cheating or he’s cheating are not absolute proof of infidelity. Maybe, this change in behavior is because your partner has lost trust in you or wants to end the relationship. Either way, it does point to a problem in your relationship.

    13. Unexpected calls and messages

    Your partner receives calls and texts at the strangest times. And when they do, the conversation will sound weird, or they will leave the room. You need to:

    • Take note of the odd-hour calls and numbers
    • Check if they hide secret calls
    • Search their call history for hidden entries or deleted messages

    It’s important to save evidence of cheating if you are planning to confront your partner. Parental controls or tracking apps exist to monitor incoming and outgoing calls. You can also use the smartphone feature to get a screen time report. It shows how much time they spend on specific apps.

    14. The obvious sign of phone cheating — Separate SIM card

    The oldest trick in the many ways cheaters hide their activities typically involves having a separate SIM card. You need to,

    • Check if they own two phones, thus separate SIM cards
    • Observe how they use the two phones. Do they switch phones for particular conversations?
    • See if they become very secretive about one of the phones

    There may be foolproof ways to not get caught cheating, and a cheating spouse will try them all. All you need to do is be observant about your partner’s actions. By learning cell phone cheating signs, before long, you will catch them busy chatting with people they shouldn’t be talking to.

    Related Reading: How To Be Romantic On Phone – 15 Tips To Get That Right

    15. Go through the work phone, too

    The work phone is another excellent example of how cheaters hide their tracks. So monitor how they behave when on the work phone. Does it function similarly to your partner’s personal phone? Think about it, who would be calling them on the work phone at those odd, non-work hours? Also, be mindful of what to look for on someone’s phone to see if they are cheating, this includes deleted texts, hidden files, and racy pictures, videos or audio. Such materials can be all the evidence you need of infidelity.

    What to Do If Your Partner is Cheating

    cell phone signs she's cheating
    Remove doubt with open communication

    Infidelity hurts, and you have to deal with the fact that your cheating spouse may be the wrong person for you. It’s, without a doubt, an emotionally debilitating experience. And how you handle it will determine how soon and how well you recover from this setback. So, if you do discover that your partner has been cheating on you, here are a few steps you can take to deal with the situation healthily:

    • Confront your partner: It’s time for an honest and open conversation with your cheating partner. Clearly express your concerns and present the evidence your sleuthing has uncovered 
    • Seek professional help: Therapy can help you navigate the emotional turmoil if you feel overwhelmed. If you’re considering getting help, skilled and experienced mental health experts on Bonobology’s panel are here for you 
    • Prioritize your well-being: Focus on self-care and mental well-being. Surround yourself with people who love and support you 
    • Make informed decisions: Choose the path that serves your emotional and mental health. Mental health issues are on the rise, and you don’t want to become a statistic  

    Key Pointers

    • What to look for on someone’s phone to see if they are cheating: Digital breadcrumbs are an excellent source of information on cheating spouses. These include tech clues like unusual app usage, hidden apps, Google Maps timeline, cloud services, browser tabs, social media, and unexpected calls/messages
    • How do cheaters hide stuff on their phones? Take note of digital secrecy, such as hiding passwords, deleted apps or messages, over-protectiveness when it comes to devices, etc
    • Apps cheaters use include Tinder, Signal, Vaulty Stocks, Facebook, Telegram and Instagram
    • What to look for to see if they are cheating include deleted texts, coded messages, and hidden files

    I end this by saying, checking your partner’s phone is never a good idea. So, be ready to deal with what you find out. Tracking exists to give people the necessary information they need. But, I told my friend that she needs to think carefully before taking the route of spying on her boyfriend.

    Cell phone cheating signs are numerous, but will she be able to deal with the information if it turns out that he is cheating? If you feel something is wrong, discuss it and find a solution. Your mental well-being should be the priority, and if trust is lacking, then you need to ask yourself if you need to be in the relationship at all. 

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  • He cheated on his girlfriend with me. Now what?

    He cheated on his girlfriend with me. Now what?


    I like this guy, but he already has a girlfriend. However, he used to flirt with me, and I could tell he liked me. Eventually, he betrayed his girlfriend with me, and honestly, I was so happy. Now, I am feeling guilty and confused as he has gone back to his girlfriend. I feel like I’m the other woman and his secret. He says he will leave his girlfriend and that he cares about me, but he is just not good at expressing his feelings. My friends tell me I should move on and that his behavior is not fair to anyone, not to me or his girlfriend. They keep saying, ‘If he cheats with you, he’ll cheat on you,’ but I just feel like this is different. On one hand, I feel guilty and ashamed of what we’ve done, but on the other, I want him to leave her for me.

    Answer:

    Being the other woman is a very difficult spot to be in, because you never receive the love and care that you crave. It’s made even more complicated by the feelings you have towards him as well.

    The first thing to consider here is that regardless how much you want him, or like him, if you were the person he wanted to date, he would be dating you. I know this realization is very difficult to get to, but the chances of a man like this treating you well are slim. By continuing to make yourself available to him, you are hurting yourself. This will have long term repercussions on your sense of self worth and self esteem. Love is not something that can be earned or begged for, because it is always freely given. You deserve to experience love that is freely given to you, and something you didn’t have to struggle for.

    Related Reading: Cheating Guilt Signs You Need To Watch Out For

    Secondly, over time, the guilt and shame will add up and make things all the more difficult for you. Even if he breaks up with her to be with you, the sense of security that comes with exclusive commitment will be absent in your relationship. Some men cheat simply because it is more exciting for them than remaining in a healthy relationship. And if he doesn’t think he is doing something wrong, or if he continues the same behavior, he is not likely to change himself for you. Many women carry the misconception of being the one who can change another person simply through love, but no one is an exception here. Being with him will not bring you the peace or the joy you’re fantasizing about.

    Real Stories On affair and cheating

    The best thing you can do for yourself is to leave this man behind and move on. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you exclusively and all the time. Understandably, this is a tough pill to swallow, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor to help you navigate these complex feelings.

    Related Reading: How Does A Guy Act After He Has Cheated?

    FAQs

    1. Does he regret cheating on his girlfriend with me?

    It is highly likely that he does regret cheating, as that is usually a decision taken in a lapse of judgment. Many who cheat feel remorse for their actions, or feel remorse over being caught.

    2. Why would a guy cheat on his girlfriend with you?

    There are a few possible reasons behind a guy cheating on his girlfriend with you:
    1. Cheating is more exciting than staying in a healthy relationship. If he is someone who does not know how to function under secure attachment, he may begin to feel “bored” in a healthy relationship. 
    2. He has lost or is losing feelings for his girlfriend. 
    3. He feels stuck or suffocated in his relationship, or all of his needs (emotional or otherwise) are not being met in the relationship. 
    4. They want to get out of the relationship but don’t have the courage to break up up front. 
    5. This reason is not true for all men who cheat, but for some it is a habitual behavior.

    3. Should I stay with a man who cheats?

    Staying with a man who is comfortable with cheating is not good for you. It will make you insecure of his attention and affection towards you, and will affect your self esteem poorly. This will eventually create a cycle wherein you come to rely exclusively on him as a source of your self worth.

    How Does A Guy Act After He Has Cheated?

    Signs He Is Using You As a Trophy Girlfriend

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  • Gut Feeling He’s Cheating, No Proof? 31 Signs Your Instincts Are On Point

    Gut Feeling He’s Cheating, No Proof? 31 Signs Your Instincts Are On Point

    Listen to your intuition — it’s a powerful force. Even if all you have is a gut feeling he’s cheating, no proof, don’t dismiss it. Yes, working toward the acceptance that your worst fears may be coming true isn’t easy. But the alternative is staying in a relationship riddled with trust issues and possible betrayal — which is worse.

    Trust your instincts; uncovering the truth is better than living in uncertainty. Once the truth is out there, you can choose what feels right for you, be it confronting your partner or pursuing a path toward personal happiness and independence. If you’re still on the fence about whether your suspicions are enough to go on and level accusations of infidelity on a partner, allow us to draw attention to the signs that your gut feeling isn’t baseless and you must not sweep it under the rug.

    Should You Trust Your Gut Feeling About Cheating? 31 Signs That You Must

    Speaking on the importance of instinct, a Reddit user says, “Trust your gut feelings. They don’t alarm you for no reason, unless you’ve known yourself to be obsessive/jealous/or wrong about your feelings all the time, before in your life. If not… then TRUST your feelings!! They don’t alarm you because he went out one time, they’re alarming you because, most likely, your instincts are spot on.”

    Gut feeling he’s cheating, no proof? When you have a gut feeling that your partner may be cheating on you but lack concrete proof, it can be emotionally challenging. Trusting your instincts is essential, but it’s also important to approach the situation with caution. Here are 31 signs that might indicate your instincts are on point, though they should be taken with a grain of skepticism and not considered as concrete evidence:

    For more expert-related insights, please subscribe to our YouTube channel

    1. Emotional distance

    Your partner is emotionally distant and less affectionate than usual. A man engaged in infidelity likely carries a burden on his mind. If he appears emotionally distant, he may be keeping secrets. Besides, distancing himself from you could be a tactic to avoid detection. If your partner becomes noticeably reserved and quiet, without an apparent and justifiable explanation for reduced time spent together, it may indicate possible infidelity.

    2. Lack of communication

    Speaking on the importance of communication in a relationship, counseling psychologist Manjari Saboo told Bonobology, “Communication helps you forge a deeper connection with your partner. It instills faith in you that even when there’s no one you can turn to, your partner will be right next to you. Naturally, when communication stops, the connection also becomes weak.”

    A reduction in communication compared to your past levels may indicate relationship issues. If your partner is cheating, he might:

    • Limit conversations for the sake of discretion
    • Be reluctant to discuss matters that might lead to discovery
    • Feel guilty and ashamed about the affair
    • Avoid eye contact and conversations

    If communication problems persist, there might be underlying problems in the relationship that are challenging to perceive because, deep down, you might be grappling with issues as well.

    Related Reading: Is He Cheating Or Am I Paranoid? 11 Things To Think Over!

    3. Excuses, excuses, and more excuses!

    Gut feeling he’s cheating, no proof? Well, frequent excuses and elaborate alibis for his actions or whereabouts can be subtle signs of infidelity. He consistently provides lame excuses for not being able to see you, indicating a lack of desire to be in your company. When someone loves you, they make time for you despite their busy schedule. If your partner is unwilling to spend their free time with you, it likely suggests they are allocating that time to someone else.

    4. Sudden change in appearance

    Communication and relationship coach Swaty Prakash says, “How we look is very important for us humans. If we are in romantic relationships, it becomes one of the prime facets to worry about. Have you noticed how our pupils dilate or how we start playing with our hair when we are near someone we like? Even our subconscious works on making us look prettier and smell better.”

    If you have a gut feeling he’s cheating, no proof, then keep an eye out for any sudden and uncharacteristic changes in your partner’s appearance. This could be one of the physical signs your partner is cheating. Should your man undergo a sudden makeover, such as:

    • Getting a new haircut
    • Growing a beard
    • Taking extra care of his hygiene
    • Joining a gym
    • Wearing new clothes or ones that are different from their usual style

    …It might be an attempt to attract another woman. Makeovers generally signify a desire for change, and sometimes, that change is directed toward a new romantic interest.

    Related Reading: I Hate My Husband – 10 Possible Reasons And What You Can Do About It

    5. Mood swings

    If you have a gut feeling he’s cheating, no proof, know that unexplained mood swings or emotional ups and downs are another sign. If your man is unfaithful, he might be going through frequent mood swings, shifting abruptly from happiness to anger, frustration, or sadness. The reason could be the constant lying and concealing things from you. The guilt and shame associated with cheating are also major contributors.

    6. Working long hours

    If consistently working late or going on business trips has become routine, your gut feeling could well be a result of your subconscious mind picking up on these subtle red flags of infidelity. While your man may have a demanding job that requires additional time and effort, if he’s consistently working late more than usual, it might be because he is investing time with a new romantic interest or has an affair with a coworker and is using work as a cover.

    7. Lots of gifts coming your way

    Is your partner showering you with gifts these days? If yes, then, your gut feeling about cheating might be right. His sudden inclination to pamper you, when considered alongside other signs or factors, can be a warning sign of infidelity. Cheating guilt might have taken over, which is why he is showering you with gifts to make up for his transgressions. Or it may just be a ploy to throw you off his scent. However, it’s crucial not to interpret this as a sign of infidelity in isolation.

    gut feeling about boyfriend cheating
    A cheating partner often talks less to keep things secret, leading to a lack of emotional connection

    8. Secretive about his phone

    If a man is cheating, he will guard his phone and other gadgets with his life. While everyone deserves personal space and privacy, excessive protectiveness can be a red flag. If you have a gut feeling he’s cheating, no proof, notice if he:

    • Is secretive about text messages and calls
    • Uses his phone for discreet communication
    • Places his phone face down
    • Sets it on airplane, do not disturb, or silent mode
    • Carries it everywhere

    When confronted about this behavior, he may deflect with a dismissive comment, further fueling suspicions about potential infidelity.

    Related Reading: I Need Space – What Is The Best Way To Ask For Space In A Relationship

    9. Erratic schedule

    His schedule becomes inconsistent or unpredictable. He appears to be overwhelmingly busy, leaving little room for time with you. When engaging in infidelity, he may become more elusive and distant, undergoing noticeable changes. You may find him:

    • Rarely present
    • Often “hanging out with friends”
    • Working extended hours consistently

    This could be a deliberate strategy to avoid contact with you, minimizing the chances of getting caught cheating or being confronted about his transgressions.

    10. Decreased intimacy

    A significant drop in physical intimacy or sex life is a major sign of infidelity. Intimacy becomes increasingly rare. If your partner, who was once openly affectionate, suddenly loses interest in being intimate or is reluctant to spend time with you, and doesn’t seem to care about your physical needs it might indicate infidelity. Reflect on when you last shared such moments. A lack of interest in intimacy could suggest that he is fulfilling his needs elsewhere.

    11. Protective of social media

    Being secretive or overly protective about his social media accounts signals toward a cheating partner. He discourages you from sharing pictures of you both on social media. If he has requested you to stop posting pictures, it raises questions. This sudden change may stem from a desire to keep his affair partner unaware. Possibly, his affair partner doesn’t know about his relationship with you or he has told her that the relationship is over/unhappy, and posting contradictory pictures might provoke her, leading to problems for him.

    12. New passwords

    Suspect cheating but no proof? If you’ve always shared phone access and your partner changes his password without disclosure, your “why do I have a feeling he’s cheating” question might have an answer. If your partner recently:

    • Changed his phone password
    • Restricts your access to certain apps
    • Deletes old messages

    … it may signal secrecy. Confront him about the change, seeking an explanation. Allow him the opportunity to clarify, but insist on addressing the question directly. If he is unable to offer a logical explanation, your gut feeling about boyfriend cheating or husband or partner betraying your trust might be true.

    13. Increased phone use

    This is another sign that your “I have a gut feeling my boyfriend is talking to another girl” or “I think my husband/partner is cheating on me” instinct is on point. If your partner uses two phones or chooses a different room for calls, it’s a possible cheating red flag. This could mean secret talks with someone else. If he’s taking phone calls away from you, ask about it with curiosity, not anger. If his explanation makes sense, great. But if he dodges or lies, he might be hiding something.

    Related Reading: Lack Of Affection And Intimacy In A Relationship — 9 Ways It Affects You

    14. Defensiveness

    Does your partner become defensive when you ask questions about his activities? Does he constantly avoid answering your questions? The reality is that if he repeatedly dodges inquiries about his conduct, he might be attempting to hide his infidelity, in which case he could be aware of your suspicions, forcing him to create confusion so that he does not get caught cheating. Approach him calmly and inquire about the reason for avoiding your questions. If he’s cheating, he might try to deflect from the subject.

    15. Your instincts

    Trust your gut feeling when these signs match your partner’s behavior and your suspicions. Your instincts are strong, and your inner knowledge is valuable. If you feel your partner is acting differently or something’s wrong with him, pay attention to signs your boyfriend might be cheating or your husband or partner is having an affair. Your intuition, shaped by experience, is often right. Even without solid proof, trust your gut.

    Relationships are hard, and spotting signs of cheating is tough. If you notice hints of infidelity, don’t ignore them. You deserve better, and if your partner is cheating, it’s vital to know and move on. Like this Reddit user says, “My intuition has ALWAYS been right. Even when I didn’t want it to be. Even when I didn’t listen to it. It’s a different nagging feeling in your gut that’s different than insecurity.”

    16. Blaming you

    Shifting blame onto you for his behavior is another warning sign of cheating. He holds you responsible for minor issues and frequently complains. This behavior is commonly a defense mechanism triggered by guilt of wrongdoing. It’s a way for him to justify cheating and convince himself that he’s not wrong, projecting his dishonesty onto you. Giving him reasons to feel insecure is different. But if you’ve been consistently kind and loving, there’s cause for concern.

    17. Increased criticism about your appearance

    Criticizing your looks or physical appearance and comparing you to other women is one of the surefire signs of cheating. When your partner begins criticizing how you look, he’s not just being unkind and disrespectful but also searching for flaws to justify his inclination to cheat. Some cheaters attempt to pinpoint aspects they dislike about you, using them as excuses for their infidelity. It’s crucial not to let such comments impact your self-esteem or provoke insecurity about your appearance. Communicate that if he’s dissatisfied, he’s free to leave at any time.

    Related Reading: 25 Gaslighting Phrases In Relationships That Kill Love

    18. Gaslighting

    Speaking on the tendency among cheaters to gaslight their partners, psychotherapist Dr. Aman Bhonsle says, “Gaslighting in a relationship under such a scenario is often an evasion tactic. To make sure they’re not confronted with a difficult conversation, they may try to turn the tables and pick fights with their partner.”

    If you have a gut feeling he’s cheating, no proof, observe if your partner gaslights you. Gaslighting involves one party attempting to persuade the other that their thoughts are irrational. Partners subjected to gaslighting often question whether they are at fault. If this dynamic has emerged, it’s advisable to step back, objectively evaluate the situation, and figure out whether the relationship is worth saving.

    how to get him to admit he cheatedhow to get him to admit he cheated
    If a friend sees your partner with another woman, he might be cheating

    19. Secret social circle

    Talking about his new circle of friends but not introducing you to them is a major sign of infidelity. He surrounds himself with people you don’t know or have never met. Social circles naturally evolve, but if he establishes an entirely new group and engages in hobbies you never knew he liked, it might signal toward a cheating partner. This increases opportunities for potential infidelity while he’s out with these new acquaintances by expanding his access to potential partners.

    20. His friends act differently around you

    Suspect cheating but no proof? Another bad sign of an unfaithful partner is that his friends feel uncomfortable or act suspicious in your presence because their loyalty leans more toward your partner even if he is engaging in harmful behavior. If interactions with your partner’s friends suddenly feel different, it could be a subtle sign that they are aware of your suspicions. It is a powerful indicator that your gut feeling he’s cheating is on point even though you do not have concrete evidence.

    Gut feeling he is cheating, no proof QuizGut feeling he is cheating, no proof Quiz

    21. He accuses you of cheating

    Has he accused you of having an affair? Does he frequently appear suspicious or uncertain about your activities, even though your behavior hasn’t changed? Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, termed this phenomenon ‘projection’ — a tactic to divert attention from oneself and redirect it toward someone else.

    If you suspect cheating but have no proof, know that this is a solid sign. By accusing you, he shifts the focus away from him in an attempt to distract you from uncovering his infidelity. The act creates a diversion, making you defend yourself and preventing you from contemplating his suspicious behavior.

    22. Accidentally calls you by another woman’s name

    Got a gut feeling he’s cheating, no proof? Well, your instincts might be right if he calls you by another woman’s name, particularly during intimate moments such as kissing or sex, suggesting that he has used this name in similar scenarios before. This is a glaring warning sign of a cheating partner.

    23. He has begun wearing perfume

    Your partner has suddenly developed a taste for colognes and perfumes. If you always had to remind him about wearing a fragrance, but now he’s into it, he might be involved with someone new. This newfound love for smelling good could be his way of impressing the new woman in his life. Also, if he’s with another woman, wearing perfume could be a trick to cover up any traces of her scent.

    It could also be that he’s just found a scent he likes. If he’s seeking your opinion, there’s likely no issue. But if it is oddly uncharacteristic for him to pay attention to how he smells and you have noticed other signs of cheating, this could be one of the less obvious indicators that your suspicion is on point.

    Related Reading: My Husband Is Moody And Angry All The Time — 13 Tips That Work On Cranky Husbands

    24. He has suddenly become short-tempered or is always annoyed with you

    Swaty says, “All relationships go through a phase when partners start finding faults with each other. But if a third person enters the equation, the process accelerates. You are no longer patient in the relationship. Irritation escalates. What looked cute earlier turns out to be irritating now. While you start liking everything about your new partner, a little too much suddenly looks wrong with your partner.”

    If he is, in fact, cheating on you, your partner’s anger issues may have suddenly increased. You may notice him getting irritated over tiny things and often taking it out on you. If there’s no clear reason for this change, like a demanding job or messed-up sleep, it could be his guilt eating at him for being dishonest. If he’s frequently:

    • Having mood swings
    • Is irritable
    • Picking fights for no reason
    • Emotionally pulling away
    • Exhibits sudden bouts of anger

    … he’s possibly cheating. When your partner starts getting inexplicably annoyed with you, it could be another indicator of infidelity.

    25. Complete change in your partner’s body language and behavior

    Emotional wellness and mindfulness coach Pooja Priyamvada says, “Evasive body language is a sure-shot sign of compulsive cheating and lying. A cheating partner will avoid eye contact, fiddle, fumble, and try to make lame excuses.” His behavior or attitude toward you undergoes a significant shift. He may be:

    • Super affectionate sometimes
    • Cold and distant at other times
    • Shifty and ill at ease around you
    • Irritated by displays of affection
    • Inclined to maintain his distance from you

    His behavior swings between extremes, for no apparent reason. These changes are indicative of potential infidelity.

    26. You don’t spend much time together

    Every couple needs personal space, but it’s important to notice if your time together has suddenly decreased. If you spent a lot of quality time together and engaged in physical intimacy, but now seem to have grown apart or if he’s consistently unavailable, it could mean a shift in your relationship dynamic. Another red flag is if he avoids or skips the shared rituals and experiences you’ve built over time, like:

    • Weekly dates
    • Monthly or weekend getaways
    • Yearly vacations
    I have a gut feeling my boyfriend is talking to another girlI have a gut feeling my boyfriend is talking to another girl
    Your gut feeling he’s cheating might be right if he takes calls and texts late into the night

    27. You hardly talk to each other

    A decline in communication is a bad sign in a relationship. If your conversations have lessened, it might signal a problem, such as your man cheating on you. A cheating partner often talks less to keep things secret, leading to a lack of emotional connection. This decrease in interaction could also indicate guilt or shame about the affair. The conversations lack the depth and joy you once had, making it feel like you’re just coexisting now.

    28. He receives calls and texts late at night

    Your “I have a gut feeling my boyfriend is talking to another girl” or “I have a bad feeling my husband is cheating” instincts might be right if your partner constantly takes calls and messages late into the night. Who could be reaching out to him at such hours? If your partner provides vague reasons, like it’s merely a friend or colleague, without offering a valid explanation, it’s likely he’s cheating on you.

    29. Mentions another woman you have never heard of

    This is a tough one to deal with. One of the warning signs of a cheating husband or partner is when he frequently mentions a new person’s name, whether they met at work, on the street, or at the gym. If you were not aware of this new woman and, suddenly, you hear about her regularly, make note of the way he talks about her. If he abruptly stops bringing up her name, there’s a possibility that something’s wrong.

    Related Reading: Top 15 Signs Of A Selfish Husband And Why Is He Like That?

    30. You catch him lying to you

    If you catch him lying to you, even if it’s a minor one, then know that your gut instinct might be spot on. It’s essential to remember these incidents, as a pattern of lies may indicate infidelity. For instance, he misled you about his whereabouts, claiming to be in one place when he was, in fact, somewhere else. While a lie about picking out a secret gift for you might be forgivable, these location-based lies are recurrent in the context of cheating and shouldn’t be ignored.

    Dr. Bhonsle says, “Lying in a relationship is a major warning sign of a cheating partner. What are they trying to escape into or escape from? It’s often hard to tell. Without trust and respect, relationships always suffer.”

    31. Your friend saw him with another woman

    Got a gut feeling he’s cheating, no proof? Well, now you do. If a friend sees your partner with another woman, he might be cheating. Cheaters often have fixed schedules for secret meet-ups. When asking about it, be careful and avoid accusing him directly. Question him about the woman and watch his reaction. If he’s cheating, he might get defensive. Yet, be open to innocent explanations, like being with a family member or colleague, to avoid jumping to conclusions.

    Note that these signs should not be taken as definitive proof of cheating. Some of them can have other explanations. The best approach is to have an honest conversation with your partner about your concerns. Communication and trust are key in solving relationship problems. If you continue to have strong suspicions, consider seeking counseling or therapy to address those concerns.

    stories on infidelitystories on infidelity

    Am I Insecure Or Is He Cheating Quiz

    Trusting your gut feeling about cheating is a complex matter. It can be a tough pill to swallow but you don’t have much of a choice. While intuition can sometimes be insightful, it’s essential to approach suspicions with a degree of caution and not jump to conclusions. 

    To make sure you don’t accuse your partner of something as serious as infidelity based on misplaced suspicions, here are 10 quiz questions to help you assess whether you might be imagining things and feeling insecure in your relationship or if there are potential signs of cheating. Please answer each question with ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.

    1. Do you often find yourself checking your partner’s phone or social media accounts without their knowledge or consent?

    2. Have you noticed any significant and unexplained changes in your partner’s behavior or routine?

    3. Do you frequently ask your partner where they are or what they’re doing when they’re not with you?

    4. Are you often suspicious of your partner’s interactions with people of the opposite sex, even when there is no clear evidence of wrongdoing?

    5. Have you experienced a decline in self-esteem or self-worth in your relationship?

    6. Do you feel anxious or worried when your partner spends time with friends or colleagues outside of your presence?

    7. Has your partner been defensive and dishonest or evaded questions about their activities, whereabouts, and interactions with others?

    8. Have you communicated your concerns and insecurities with your partner but not received any support and transparency from him?

    9. Are there tangible signs or evidence of your partner’s infidelity that you’ve come across?

    10. Do you have a general feeling of unease or suspicion in your relationship, even though there’s no concrete evidence of cheating?

    If your answers are mostly ‘Yes’, then it’s likely that your gut feeling about your partner cheating is on point. But, if most of your answers are ‘No’, then there’s a high chance that your instincts are wrong. It’s probably just in your head. 

    Once you’ve answered these questions, reflect on your responses to get a better understanding of whether your feelings are driven by insecurity or if there are legitimate reasons to suspect cheating. If you have concerns about your relationship, it’s important to communicate with your partner to resolve them.

    Related Reading: The 8 Most Common Types Of Cheating In A Relationship

    What To Do When You Find Out He’s Cheating?

    “I know he cheated but he won’t admit it. What should I do?” It’s natural to struggle with such dilemmas during this difficult time. Discovering that your partner is cheating can be emotionally devastating. Here are 7 tips on what to do when you find out he’s cheating:

    • Stay calm: Take a deep breath and stay as calm as possible to make rational decisions
    • Gather evidence: Collect evidence to confirm the infidelity, but avoid invasive or illegal methods
    • Confront him: You might be wondering how to get him to admit he cheated. Have an open and honest conversation with him about what you’ve discovered
    • Seek support: Confide in a friend or speak to family members for support
    • Consider counseling: Think about couples therapy to address the underlying issues in your relationship
    • Evaluate your options: Decide whether you want to work on the relationship or consider separation
    • Prioritize self-care: Paying attention to yourself is most important. Take care of your overall well-being during this challenging time

    Key Pointers

    • Having a gut feeling about your partner cheating but lacking concrete evidence can be emotionally challenging
    • A few signs that could answer your “why do I have a feeling he’s cheating” question are increased use of phone, sudden change in appearance and behavior, frequent lying, gaslighting, and blame-shifting
    • Other signs that could justify your suspicions include him taking another person’s name during intimate moments, your friend seeing him with a new person, lack of communication and intimacy
    • A few steps you can take when you find out about his infidelity include gathering concrete evidence about the affair, staying calm and confronting him, and seeking the help of friends and family members or a professional therapist to cope
    • Prioritize your well-being and figure out if it’s worth staying with a cheating partner

    Remember that trust is fundamental in any relationship and baseless accusations can harm the connection. If you have a gut feeling he’s cheating, no proof and you’re unable to address concerns through communication or haven’t been able to figure out how to get him to admit he cheated, seeking professional guidance can be helpful. If you’re looking for help to make sense of this confounding situation, Bonobology’s panel of experienced therapists is here for you.

    FAQs

    1. How do you know if he’s cheating without proof?

    Detecting infidelity without concrete proof involves observing behavioral changes. Look for signs like increased secrecy, unexplained mood swings, decreased intimacy, or a sudden need for personal space. Trust your intuition; if something feels off, it might be worth exploring. While suspicions alone aren’t proof, a pattern of concerning behaviors may require further investigation.

    2. Can your gut feeling be wrong about cheating?

    Yes, gut feelings about cheating can be wrong. While intuition is powerful, it’s subjective and influenced by emotions. Insecurities, past experiences, or stress can cloud judgment. It’s crucial to balance gut instinct with objective evidence and honest communication. Misinterpreting signs or projecting fears onto a partner can lead to misunderstandings.

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  • Monkey Branching: Meaning, Signs, And Ways To Deal

    Monkey Branching: Meaning, Signs, And Ways To Deal

    As I sit down to write about monkey branching, a term that has made waves in the world of relationships and dating, I can’t help but recall personal experiences and those of friends who’ve navigated the complex terrain of love and commitment. It’s a concept that hits close to home for many, as we’ve witnessed the tumultuous effects of monkey branching behavior on our own past relationships.

    Whether you’ve been the one left hanging from the branch or you’ve contemplated the leap yourself, the emotional rollercoaster of monkey branching is something that resonates with countless individuals. In this article, we’ll delve into its meaning and explore the psychology behind it, helping you identify its signs and ways to deal with it.

    What Is Monkey Branching In Relationships?

    Monkey branching in relationships refers to a behavior where one partner (the monkey brancher) seeks a new romantic connection before ending the previous relationship. This often stems from a fear of being alone or a desire for emotional safety, resulting in overlapping relationships. It can lead to emotional turmoil and complex dynamics, impacting all parties involved.

    According to one study, “People high on attachment anxiety are more likely to be involved in extradyadic relationships due to their high fear of being single, possibly as a bet-hedging strategy to minimize future risk of being single.”

    Now that we understand what this phenomenon is, let’s look at the six stages of monkey branching, why people do it, and whether or not it is a form of cheating.

    Related Reading: 15 Warning Traits Of A Serial Cheater – Run If You Spot These

    Six Stages Of Monkey Branching

    Understanding the dynamics of this phenomenon in relationships involves recognizing the stages a monkey brancher typically goes through. These six stages of monkey branching offer insights into the progression of this behavior, shedding light on the emotional journey one may experience as one branches out from relationship to relationship.

    • Dissatisfaction and doubt: The first stage often begins with one partner feeling dissatisfied or having doubts about the current relationship to the point where they may start questioning their feelings and the longevity of the partnership
    • Exploration: In this stage, the individual begins actively seeking new connections or potential partners while still in the existing committed relationship, engaging in flirtatious behaviors and exploring new avenues without commitment
    • Emotional disconnect: As the pursuit of a new relationship intensifies, the person may experience a lack of emotional connection from their current partner, become distant, less invested, and may even pick fights as a way to justify their departure
    • Overlapping relationships: At this point, the individual engages in new relationships before the old relationship ends, creating an overlap that can lead to dishonesty, betrayal, and emotional turbulence for all parties involved
    • The leap: This is the moment when the individual decides to make the leap from the old relationship to the new one, which can be abrupt, causing shock and heartbreak for the current partner left behind
    • Remorse or justification: After the transition to the next relationship, a monkey brancher may experience remorse for their actions or attempt to justify them

    It’s like being in a perpetual rebound relationship with a series of different partners. The emotional aftermath that constitutes these six stages of monkey branching varies widely, but it’s crucial to understand the impact of monkey swinging and possibly even how long do monkey branch relationship last.

    Why Do People Monkey Branch?

    Why do people monkey branch? Do monkey branching relationships last? How long do monkey branch relationship last? These are questions that delve into the intricate motivations driving this complex relationship behavior. Understanding the underlying reasons can shed light on the emotional and psychological factors that lead individuals to engage in monkey branching, a phenomenon that can have profound implications for those involved.

    monkey branching
    People often monkey branch as a way to avoid feeling lonely

    When a guy or a girl is monkey branching, it could be for a multitude of reasons:

    • Fear of loneliness is a powerful motivator, as individuals may jump from one relationship to another to avoid the discomfort of being alone
    • Emotionally unfulfilled in their current partnership, they seek solace in new connections, hoping to find the happiness that eludes them
    • Insecurity within the current relationship can also drive monkey branching behavior, as they may lack confidence in its stability or quality
    • Opportunistic monkey branching can occur when an unexpected chance for a new relationship presents itself, leading individuals to make hasty decisions
    • Low self-esteem or poor communication and unresolved issues in the current relationship might cause them to seek emotional connections elsewhere
    • Additionally, dating apps have made it much easier to engage in this kind of behavior

    The desire for excitement and novelty, coupled with the ego boost received from a new partner, can further fuel this desire to seek validation elsewhere — it gives the monkey brancher the feeling of having a higher status. This is monkey branching psychology 101. Understanding these motivations underscores the importance of fostering open communication, self-awareness, and healthy relationship practices to address the root causes of monkey branching and ultimately build stronger, more resilient connections.

    But do monkey branching relationships last? Monkey branching relationships typically have a lower probability of lasting in the long term. This behavior often indicates a lack of commitment and emotional investment in the current relationship, as one partner seeks emotional security or fulfillment elsewhere. Such relationships are built on shaky foundations, and the emotional strain caused by overlapping relationships or quick transitions can make it challenging to sustain them. Nevertheless, a monkey brancher is rarely single because one branch is never enough.

    Related Reading: 11 Common Reasons People Cheat In Relationships

    Is Monkey Branching Cheating?

    The question of whether a monkey brancher is a cheater or not is a subject of ethical and moral debate. Monkey branching meaning the overlap of one romantic involvement with another creates a gray area in which the boundaries of commitment are blurred.

    It is considered cheating because the monkey brancher is engaging in a romantic or sexual relationship with someone outside the boundaries of an existing committed relationship, without the knowledge or consent of all involved parties. While a monkey brancher may not engage in physical cheating, they often indulge in emotional cheating. Cheating is often a refuge for people who have low self-esteem or do not have strong morals.

    According to one Reddit user, “If they are monkey branching, they are cheating. The biggest signs I noticed after 6 years on/off together:

    • His communication dropped significantly. He was distant. Never made plans
    • He would go MIA and be very vague about wanting “me time”. He wouldn’t tell me what he was doing or talk to me at all about what he did when we were apart. Vague answers like “Did things around the house, why do you always want to know?” Most partners will volunteer what they’re up to
    • Defensiveness when I’d ask or mention something felt off. He would instantly get angry and call me interrogative, refused to talk to me about my concerns or why I was feeling that way
    • The phone was always on silent/taken off Bluetooth in the car
    • He was caught on dating apps
    • I followed him one day. He did not go where he said he was and that was the nail in the coffin

    “He went on to leave me for her when I confronted him. 2 years later, he came back saying what a mistake and blah blah. I was stupid and told him we could work through it as I knew he had some mental health issues then. He did it again 4 months later. Showed a lot of the same signs and I didn’t bother confirming it, I listened to my gut and left. Blocked him after he got mad, once again, at me for raising the change in behavior.”

    Monkey branchers often lack a strong moral compass and this is a big deal because a guy like this will likely treat other girls the same way as the previous one.

    7 Signs Of Monkey Branching

    What is monkey branching in relationships? Recognizing the signs of monkey branching is pivotal for anyone navigating the world of relationships. These seven telltale indicators offer valuable insights into identifying when a partner may be contemplating or actively engaging in the behavior. Being attuned to these signs and understanding monkey branching psychology can help individuals make informed decisions and better protect their emotional well-being.

    1. Emotional distance

    One of the most poignant indicators of a monkey brancher is the palpable emergence of emotional detachment within a relationship. This phenomenon can be characterized by a significant and concerning shift in the emotional connection that once bound you and your current partner.

    Where you once shared your deepest thoughts, desires, and feelings, you now find a growing chasm of detachment. A monkey-branching wife/husband/partner becomes increasingly reserved, less available for meaningful conversations, and disengaged from the emotional fabric of the relationship. This is a sign that they may start flirting with someone else.

    2. Lack of affection

    A noticeable lack of affection within a relationship is a sign of potential monkey branching, meaning a partner is losing interest. It manifests in the diminishing of physical gestures of love and warmth that were once integral to the partnership. A monkey branching wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend may begin giving less affection and dialing back on gestures such as hugs, kisses, or cuddling, which previously served as tangible expressions of their love and emotional connection.

    This newfound scarcity of physical intimacy can create a sense of alienation and foster emotional discord, leaving you to grapple with feelings of rejection and isolation. It not only erodes the emotional bond you once shared but may indicate that your current partner is redirecting their romantic and emotional energy toward a new relationship, thereby deepening the emotional rift between you. Addressing this sign promptly is crucial for either mending the current relationship or preparing for the difficult conversations that lie ahead.

    Related Reading: Expert Tips On How To Increase Physical Intimacy In A Relationship

    3. Absence of intimacy

    The absence of intimacy is a key sign of monkey branching, reflecting a profound emotional disconnect within the current relationship, and is a major red flag. It’s characterized by a dwindling desire or ability to share one’s innermost thoughts, feelings, and concerns with a partner. Conversations that were once meaningful and fulfilling may become superficial or rare.

    When a guy/girl is monkey branching, the lack of emotional intimacy can leave you feeling isolated and unfulfilled, as he/she grows disinterested in the emotional connection that was once a cornerstone of your relationship. It’s a telltale sign that they may be seeking emotional fulfillment and a deeper connection elsewhere, making it imperative to address the issue openly and honestly to either rebuild the intimacy or navigate the challenges that lie ahead.

    4. Decline in quality time

    A noticeable reduction in quality time spent together is another prominent sign of a monkey brancher. Your partner, who once valued your companionship, might now prioritize other activities or individuals over nurturing your shared bond. This shift can lead to feelings of neglect and emotional distance, as the moments that used to strengthen your connection are replaced with a growing sense of isolation.

    Whether it’s done under the pretext of work, new acquaintances, or other interests, the bottom line is that they seem to be more interested in doing their own thing like often taking calls when they’re with you.

    Related Reading: 11 Tips To Build A Successful Relationship After Cheating

    5. Not making plans together

    When your partner stops making plans with you, immediate or long-term, they could be a monkey brancher. If they’re no longer excited by the prospect of doing things with you — be it going to the movies over the weekend, planning a holiday for the summer, or talking about what the future may look like five years down the road — it shows a clear detachment on their part.

    This detachment suggests that your partner may be channeling their emotional energy toward new romantic interests, emphasizing the need for candid communication to either rekindle the romance or address the evolving dynamics in your relationship.

    6. Apathy or indifference

    Apathy or indifference in a relationship is perhaps the most obvious sign of monkey branching. Your partner will lose interest or concern for your well-being, happiness, or the dynamics of the relationship. Your emotional needs may no longer be a priority to them, and they may show little empathy or understanding toward your feelings and concerns or future as a couple.

    They could also engage in secretive behavior, or share increasingly negative thoughts, as they pursue a new person. It’s essential to address this sign promptly, whether to reignite their emotional engagement or to confront the reality of changing relationship dynamics and just break up.

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    How To Deal With A Monkey Branching Relationship

    Navigating monkey branching in a relationship can be emotionally challenging, but it’s possible to address your partner’s behavior change with care and consideration:

    • Open communication: Initiate an honest and open conversation with your partner. Express your concerns and feelings without judgment and ask them about their motivations and emotions to gain a better understanding of the situation
    • Self-reflection: Take time for self-reflection to assess your own needs and boundaries within the relationship to better understand what you’re willing to tolerate and what you need to feel secure and fulfilled
    • Seek support: Reach out to friends and family for emotional support. Having a strong support system can provide you with guidance, perspective, and a safe space to express your feelings through this rough patch
    • Set boundaries: If you decide to work on the relationship, establish clear boundaries and expectations for both partners; transparency is crucial in rebuilding trust
    • Seek professional help: If the relationship feels irreparable, couples therapy or counseling can be a valuable resource since a trained therapist can facilitate productive discussions and help both partners navigate the challenges
    • Self-care: Prioritize self-care to maintain your emotional and mental well-being and engage in activities that bring you joy, reduce stress, and boost self-worth
    • Evaluate the relationship: Ultimately, assess whether the relationship aligns with your long-term goals and values; sometimes, it’s necessary to make the difficult decision to end the relationship and prioritize your happiness and well-being

    Key Pointers

    • Monkey branching is the phenomenon of seeking a new romantic connection before ending an existing one
    • Low self-esteem, unmet needs, fear of being alone, insecurity, and opportunistic behavior are some factors that cause a person to monkey branch in relationships
    • Emotional distance, lack of intimacy, indifference, and detachment are some clear indicators of a partner monkey branching
    • A monkey branching relationship needs to be dealt with open and honest communication, allowing both partners to express their feelings without judgment

    Remember that dealing with a monkey branching relationship can be emotionally draining, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. The key is to make choices that align with your values and goals, ensuring that your emotional and mental health remains a top priority throughout the process. Whether you decide to work on the relationship or move forward independently, the experience can serve as an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and, ultimately, a healthier and more fulfilling future.

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  • Is My Partner Cheating On Me? Quiz

    Is My Partner Cheating On Me? Quiz

    Have you observed a sudden shift in your partner’s behavior? Perhaps you’ve noticed them becoming more guarded with their phone, taking extra precautions to keep it locked. If a lingering sense of unease has led you to ponder, “Is my partner cheating on me?” – rest assured, you’re not alone.

    Welcome to a solution-oriented space where your concerns are met with understanding. This concise yet insightful quiz, comprising just 10 brief questions, has been carefully created by a psychologist. It’s designed to help you understand whether or not your suspensions are correct.

    Accusing your partner of infidelity only to find out you were wrong, can damage your bond. Therefore, take this opportunity to gather insights from the quiz before broaching the topic with your partner. Trust the expertise behind these questions and navigate the path to relationship clarity with informed confidence.

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