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Tag: inferno

  • Conservative Relative’s Description Of Chicago Clearly Came Directly From Dante’s ‘Inferno’

    Conservative Relative’s Description Of Chicago Clearly Came Directly From Dante’s ‘Inferno’

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    WINNETKA, IL—Describing a conversation that took place at a family gathering Friday, relatives of local conservative man Dennis Sherman told reporters it was obvious the 57-year-old’s terrifying descriptions of Chicago had come directly from Dante’s Inferno. “He goes on and on about how depraved and awful the city is, but he’s clearly just regurgitating verbatim all the stuff he’s read about hell in the first canticle of The Divine Comedy,” said Sherman’s niece Stella Simmons, a student at Columbia College in downtown Chicago, which her uncle referred to as a place where residents are constantly at risk of having their flesh gnawed upon for all eternity by the three mouths of Lucifer. “He asked me how I could possibly live there among the tortured souls of the damned, and grumbled that you couldn’t pay him to go south of the Phlegethon these days because it’s nothing more than sinners getting shot full of arrows in a river of boiling blood. I tried to tell him that’s not how it is day to day, but he kept saying he’s read about a plain of burning sand along the Red Line where it rains fire and people are routinely feasted upon by harpies.” The conservative man did concede Chicago had some good restaurants, but said it wasn’t worth paying the toll at the River of Oblivion just to end up getting hacked to pieces by a horned demon who wields a flaming sword.

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  • Elderly father and son seriously injured in blaze at cluttered SoHo home

    Elderly father and son seriously injured in blaze at cluttered SoHo home

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    An elderly father and son were seriously injured amid their own clutter as an inferno consumed their SoHo apartment late Monday night.

    More than 100 firefighters rushed to save a 95-year-old man and his 70-year-old son after the fire erupted inside their fourth-floor apartment on Sullivan St. between Prince and Spring streets at 8:47 pm.

    But the effort was stymied by narrow hallways filled with clutter, and the men were hauled unresponsive from the blaze, according to Deputy FDNY Chief Michael Barvels.

    “There was an apartment with very tight hallways, which were full of clutter that delayed our access to the apartment,” he said.

    Medics remove a victim from a two alarm fire at 104 Sullivan Street in Manhattan, New York City on Monday, May 29, 2023. (Gardiner Anderson/for New York Daily News)

    One firefighter likened the apartment to the Harlem home owned by the infamous Collyers brothers, whose names are used by first responders as a byword when referring to dangerous hoarding conditions.

    “It was a Collyers’ Mansion situation,” said the firefighter, who declined to give his name.

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    Paramedics treated the father-son pair at the scene before rushing them to the hospital in critical condition, according to the Fire Department.

    The pair had lived in the building for over 50 years, with the father working as the building’s super in the 1960s, according to neighbor Michael McDerman.

    The son was a veteran and both men enjoyed controlled rents, McDerman said.

    Medics remove an injured firefighter during a two alarm fire at 104 Sullivan Street in Manhattan, New York City on Monday, May 29, 2023.

    Medics remove an injured firefighter during a two alarm fire at 104 Sullivan Street in Manhattan, New York City on Monday, May 29, 2023. (Gardiner Anderson/for New York Daily News)

    Another neighbor said he spotted medics giving the elderly victims CPR outside the building, adding that both men appeared appeared gravely injured.

    “They didn’t look good, I can tell you that,” said Korey Benesh, 26, who lives on the same floor as the injured elders.

    Despite the mess, smoke-eaters managed to quell the blaze and officials sounded the all-clear shortly before 11 p.m., the FDNY said.

    Firefighters respond to a two alarm fire at 104 Sullivan Street in Manhattan, New York City on Monday, May 29, 2023.

    Firefighters respond to a two alarm fire at 104 Sullivan Street in Manhattan, New York City on Monday, May 29, 2023. (Gardiner Anderson/for New York Daily News)

    One other resident and three fire fighters suffered minor injuries amidst the fire, according to Barvels.

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    Kerry Burke, Colin Mixson

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