ReportWire

Tag: Huxley Pollard

  • America Celebrates Fourth Of July

    America Celebrates Fourth Of July

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    Citizens across America are having barbecues and setting off fireworks to celebrate the Fourth of July, the nation’s independence day. What are you doing to celebrate?

    “Blowing off three fingers in a vain attempt to impress my girlfriend’s kid.”

    Huxley Pollard, Cathedral Roofer

    “I’m having a big party with some of my closest guns.”

    Leah Pierce, Storm Chaser

    “Probably jerk off and eat hot dogs like any other Thursday.”

    Terrence Carey, systems analyst

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  • Biden Administration To Reclassify Marijuana

    Biden Administration To Reclassify Marijuana

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    The Drug Enforcement Administration is expected to approve a rescheduling of marijuana, which is currently categorized with Schedule I drugs such as LSD and heroin, to Schedule III alongside Tylenol and steroids, which would allow it to be purchased nationwide. What do you think?

    “What’s even the point of having glaucoma now?”

    Huxley Pollard, Volunteer Helper

    “What’s it classified as for white people?”

    Genevieve Plant, Ceiling Tiler

    “Biden must be desperate if he’s resorting to giving the American people what they want.”

    Grant Winter, systems analyst

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