ReportWire

Tag: humor

  • What to Do If It Truly Is Your First Rodeo

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    According to the internet (and everything I’ve ever been taught) your first rodeo will push you out of your comfort zone and is arguably life-changing. I’ve also learned through the grapevine that your second rodeo is vastly different than the first and incredibly more manageable.

    I decided to try to clarify a few things regarding said rodeos.

    Please enjoy these helpful tips and tricks for the next time you or a loved one plans on attending the rodeo.

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    Zach

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  • 40 Titanic Memes That Are Sure Make to Waves….

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    I have to admit, I’m a bit obsessed with the Titanic. I can’t explain what it is about the ship, but this is quite literally my Roman Empire. I think about it regularly, and I think about it often.

    It’s a fascinating tragedy and I can’t seem to get it out of my head.

    Luckily there are an infinite amount of Titanic memes. Whether you’re into making fun of dead billionaires, or Leo DiCaprio’s preference for younger women, we’ve got you covered.

    Ahoy!

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    Zach

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  • The New iPhone 17’s Out, And So Are The Jokes

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    First off, I don’t stand anywhere on the iPhone versus Android phone debate.

    I still use a BlackBerry Curve 9300 from 2007. It has no internet or email, but I 85% of the time I pull it out in public, someone says, “oh shit! A BlackBerry!”

    Apple’s new iPhone 17 is now widely available across the US and Canada, which has given X users enough time to make jokes about it.

    Again, I’m non-partisan here — I just like to laugh.

    It seems phone users (both Apple and Android) are complaining about how easy the phone gets scratched, it’s $1,099 starting price point, and how similar it is to past models.

    Regardless, I’m just here for the jokes:

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    Ty

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  • X’s Community Notes Going Straight For The Damn Throat

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    Sometimes the internet needs a hall monitor. And that’s exactly where X’s Community Notes comes in.

    Community Notes is X’s crowd-sourced fact checks that sometimes rolls up and says, “hold up there pal,” before dropping context like a piano off a skyscraper.

    These are the clapbacks that ended potential debates arguments, hopefully humbled users, and turned hot takes into learning moments—one brutal footnote at a time.

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    Ty

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  • Harris seemed to touch a nerve with Newsom, but says he has ‘a great sense of humor’

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    Kamala Harris picked her way through several sticky subjects in a Tuesday night TV interview, including her account of being ghosted by Gov. Gavin Newsom when she called for his support during her brief, unsuccessful 2024 presidential campaign.

    On the eve of the public release of her book detailing that campaign, Harris spoke with MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow on her relationship with Newsom as well as the redistricting ballot measure Californians will vote on in November — and she also hailed “the power of the people” in getting Jimmy Kimmel back on ABC.

    Kimmel was indefinitely suspended last week by the Walt Disney Co. over remarks he made about the suspect in the shooting of conservative activist Charlie Kirk. After fierce protests, consumers announcing subscription cancellations, and hundreds of celebrities speaking out against government censorship, Disney announced Monday that Kimmel would return on ABC the following day.

    “Talk about the power being with the people and the people making that clear with their checkbooks,” Harris said of Kimmel’s return. “It spoke volumes, and it moved a decision in the right direction.”

    Harris was speaking with Maddow about her new book, “107 Days,” which details her short sprint of a presidential campaign in 2024 after then-President Biden decided not to seek reelection.

    The book discloses which Democrats immediately supported her to become the Democratic nominee, and which didn’t, notably Newsom. She wrote that, when she called, he texted her that he was hiking and would call her back but never did.

    After Maddow raised the anecdote in the opening of the show, Harris said she had known Newsom “forever.”

    “Gavin has a great sense of humor so, you know, he’s gonna be fine,” Harris said.

    Newsom was icier when asked by a reporter about the interaction — or lack thereof — on Friday.

    “You want to waste your time with this, we’ll do it,” Newsom said, adding that he was hiking when he received a call from an unknown number, even as he was trying to learn more about Biden’s decision not to run for reelection while also asking his team to craft a statement supporting Harris to be the Democratic nominee. “I assume that’s in the book as well — that, hours later, the endorsement came out.”

    Harris brought up Newsom when asked about Proposition 50, the redistricting ballot measure championed by the governor and other California Democrats that voters will decide in November. If approved, the state’s congressional districts will be redrawn in an effort to boost Democratic seats in the house to counter efforts by President Trump to increase the number of Republicans elected in GOP-led states.

    “Let me say about what [Newsom] is doing, redistricting, it is absolutely the right way to go. Part of what we’ve got to, I think, challenge ourselves to accept, is that we tend to play by the rules,” Harris said. “But I think this is a moment where you gotta fight fire with fire. And so what Gavin is doing, what the California Legislature is doing, what those who are supporting it are doing is to say, ‘You know what, you want to play, then let’s get in the field. Let’s get in the arena, and let’s do this.’ And I support that.”

    But Harris was more cautious when asked about other electoral contests, notably the New York City mayoral race. Zohran Mamdani is the Democratic nominee and has large leads in the polls over other candidates in the race, including former Gov. Andrew Cuomo and incumbent Mayor Eric Adams.

    Asked whether she backed Mamdani, a Democratic socialist, Harris was measured.

    “Look, as far as I’m concerned, he’s the Democratic nominee, and he should be supported,” Harris said, prompting Maddow to ask whether she endorsed him.

    “I support the Democrat in the race, sure,” she replied. “But let me just say this, he’s not the only star. … I hope that we don’t so over-index on New York City that we lose sight of the stars throughout our country.”

    Harris, who announced this summer that she would not run for California governor next year, demurred when asked about whether she would run for president for a third time in 2028.

    “That’s not my focus right now,” she said.

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    Seema Mehta

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  • Commentary: Please, Jimmy, don’t back down. Making fun of Trump is your patriotic duty

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    So Jimmy Kimmel is coming back, fast enough that there are still folks out there who didn’t know he was gone.

    Hallelujah? Praise be to ABC? Free speech triumphs?

    It all depends on Tuesday night, when we see if Kimmel returns undaunted, or if he has been subdued. Of all the consequential, crazy, frightening events that have taken place in recent days, Kimmel’s return should be a moment we all watch — a real-time, late-night look at how successful our president is at forcing us to censor ourselves through fear.

    Please, Jimmy, don’t back down.

    If Kimmel tempers his comedy now, pulls his punches on making fun of power, he sends the message that we should all be afraid, that we should all bend. Maybe he didn’t sign up for this, but here he is — a person in a position of influence being forced to make a risky choice between safety and country.

    That sounds terribly dramatic, I know, but self-censorship is the heart of authoritarianism. When people of power are too scared to even crack a joke, what does that mean for the average person?

    If Kimmel, with his celebrity, clout and wealth, cannot stand up to this president, what chance do the rest of us have?

    Patriotism used to be a simple thing. A bit of apple pie, a flag on the Fourth of July, maybe even a twinge of pride when the national anthem plays and all the words pop into your mind even though you can’t find your car keys or remember what day it is.

    It’s just something there, running in the background — an unspoken acknowledgment that being American is a pretty terrific thing to be.

    Now, of course, patriotism is the most loaded of words. It’s been masticated and barfed out by the MAGA movement into a specific gruel — a white, Western-centric dogma that demands a narrow and angry Christianity dominate civic life.

    There have been a deluge of examples of this subversion in recent days. The Pentagon is threatening to punish journalists who report information it doesn’t explicitly provide. The president used social media to demand U.S. Atty. Gen. Pam Bondi go after his perceived enemies.

    The one that put a knot in my stomach was the speech by Stephen Miller, Trump’s immigration czar, speaking, without humor, at the memorial for Charlie Kirk.

    “We are the storm,” Miller said, hinting back at a QAnon conspiracy theory about a violent reordering of society.

    That’s disturbing, but actually mild compared with what he said next, a now-familiar Christian nationalist rant.

    “Our lineage and our legacy hails back to Athens, to Rome, to Philadelphia, to Monticello,” Miller said. “Our ancestors built the cities they produced, the art and architecture they built. The industry.”

    Who’s going to tell him about Sally Hemings? But he continued with an attack on the “yous” who don’t agree with this worldview, the “yous,” like Kimmel, one presumes (though Kimmel’s name did not come up) who oppose this cruel version of America.

    “You are wickedness, you are jealousy, you are envy, you are hatred, you are nothing,” Miller said. “You can build nothing. You can produce nothing. You can create nothing.”

    Humor, of course, ain’t nothing, which is why this administration can’t stand it.

    Humor builds camaraderie. It produces dopamine and serotonin, the glue of human bonding. It drains away fear, and creates hope.

    Which is why autocrats always go after comedians pretty early on. It’s not thin skin, though Trump seems to have that. It’s effective management of dissent.

    Nazi propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels knew it. In 1939, after his party had set up a Chamber of Culture that required all performers to adhere to certain rules, he banned five German comedians — Werner Finck, Peter Sachse, Helmuth Buth, Wilhelm Meissner and Manfred Dlugi — for making political jokes that didn’t support the regime. He basically ended their careers for daring satire against Nazi leaders, claiming people didn’t find it funny.

    “(I)n their public appearances they displayed a lack of any positive attitude toward National Socialism and therewith caused grave annoyance in public and especially to party comrades,” the New York Times reported the German government claiming at the time.

    Sounds familiar.

    Kimmel, of course, is not the only comedian speaking out. Jon Stewart has hit back on “The Daily Show,” pretending to be scared into submission, perhaps a hat tip to Finck, who famously joked, “I am not saying anything. And even that I am not saying.”

    Stephen Colbert roasted Disney with a very funny parody video. Political cartoonists are having a field day.

    And there are plenty of others pushing back. Gov. Gavin Newsom has taken to all-caps rebuttals. Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker, whom Trump called “nothing,” is also vocal in his opposition, especially of National Guard troops in Chicago.

    The collective power of the powerful is no joke. It means something.

    But all the sober talk in the world can’t rival one spot-on dig when it comes to kicking the clay feet of would-be dictators. Mark Twain said it best: Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. Which is what makes Kimmel so relevant in this moment.

    Can he come back with a laugh — proving we have nothing to fear but fear itself — or are we seriously in trouble?

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    Anita Chabria

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  • Brandon Tanev Headshot Season Is Back, so We’ve Got Every Chaotic Pic from His NHL Career

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    Brandon Tanev is a left winger for the Utah Mammoth. The veteran has played in the NHL for about 10 years now, and is known for his high-energy, speed, and tenacity. His style of play has even earned him the nickname; ‘Turbo.’

    Tanev has also gained social media notoriety throughout his career for his interesting and intense team headshots.

    Whether it’s the early years where he looks like a cast member of Dazed and Confused, or the more recent seasons when he’s just seeing ghosts. Nobody does it like Brandon Tanev. Enjoy!

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    Zach

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  • You Know You Love the Hunnies & Funnies

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    Welcome to The Hunnies & Funnies! This week’s post is dedicated to a Chiver named ‘Jon2mimic’, who reads the H&F every weekend over breakfast with a friend.

    This one’s to you, hope breakfast is particularly amazing this time around. Happy Saturday & Enjoy!

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    Hendy

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  • We’re All Guilty One Way or Another

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    Guilt doesn’t always mean something heavy, it’s often the small, silly stuff we all do without thinking… like buying things from Target that we absolutely don’t need.

    Maybe you pretended not to hear someone calling your name, left a near-empty carton in the fridge, or hit snooze one too many times. These little moments of universal guilt connect us more than we admit. Nobody’s perfect, and honestly, nobody’s trying to be.

    This gallery is a playful nod to the harmless habits, white lies, and guilty pleasures that make us human – even the funny excuses we use to get out of the sticky situations.

    So before you start feeling bad about the cookie you stole or the text you ignored, remember this: we are all guilty in our own way, and that’s what makes life funny.

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    Ryder

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  • Daily Evening Randomness by Hendy

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    If you can remember anything about the 60s, you weren’t really there.”

    Welcome to the second ‘Daily Evening Randomness By Hendy,’ where each night we do a little ‘nightcap post’ that follows whatever random theme we’ve chosen for the evening.

    I’m not sure what it is about the 60s, but I’ve always been fascinated by it. The fashion, the music, the lack of social media leaving people feeling awful all of the time… you know, little things.

    Tonights ‘Daily Evening Randomness‘ is dedicated to the 1960s. So, pour yourself a drink, maybe throw on a record, and enjoy some old photos of a time we’ll never see again!

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    Hendy

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