Tag: hopeful thinking

It’s easy to see examples of people making big changes in the world. People we see as being more powerful or influential than we are instigating change or instilling comfort. Most of us feel pretty ineffectual at accomplishing the act of making a difference.

But there are often ways to make a difference we don’t typically think about. Smaller ways with enormous implications. They are in the daily interactions we have with other people. Don’t scoff at it just because it feels too simple or because you imagine it would be ineffective. Never underestimate something as simple as a smile directed toward a stranger. That’s the same as walking past thousands of pennies on the sidewalk because you’re waiting for a twenty.

When we look back on the people who have changed our lives, or helped us define our sense of self, the origins of those changes are usually just moments, and usually very brief. Sometimes they’re given by people we’ve known for years or someone we happened to be in line behind at the grocery store. A single compliment or just the right word of encouragement given at just the right time.

I could name five, probably more, incredibly brief moments of my life that continue to impact me in positive ways to this day. Thoughts that sit with me still to which I turn for comfort when I doubt myself. For the most part, unless I’ve had an opportunity to tell them so, the people who gave me those brief moments of encouragement likely have no idea the decades of positive impact they have made on my life.

It’s good news here because planting seeds is a work-smarter-not-harder concept. Just ask Johnny Appleseed. We don’t have to arm wrestle change into anybody, or the world. Our job is not to cultivate an entire field to the point of harvest. It’s only to plant one seed. Assume that if you’ve planted it on fertile ground, and with lots of manure to assist it, all shall be well. And, let’s face it, there’s plenty of manure here to go around. Give it permission through your action to become an excellent garden.

I think part of the reason we’re hesitant to get involved as changemakers is because we see the task as being too big, too daunting. We are only one person. What difference can one person make? And even when we believe that yes, one person can make a difference, for we see examples of it nearly every day, we don’t think we’d be that person.

I invite you to take the pressure off of yourself a bit. There are already visionaries out there doing the big work. Of course they could use more, but not everyone has to operate on that level in order to help nudge our world toward a more loving future. We can best support the visionaries by remembering that our own small actions can and do have huge effects.

For this I’ll let you in on a little secret: No matter how badly someone feels about themselves, their inner light is listening. Beneath the heavy cloak of this human vessel, who we really are is paying very close attention for anything which resonates with it. Light always knows light when it sees it. Trust that process. Believe it to be at play.

But we get confused. We over-think things. We doubt our power to affect change. We definitely doubt that it can be done easily, so we tend not to bother at all. We get self-conscious, uncomfortable. We stand at the soil waiting for the seed to sprout. We get impatient. We conclude ourselves to be a failure, foolish for staring at the dirt for so long. We retreat.

We don’t know where to begin, what action to take first. But, as an example, we know there is power in song. We know that there is a force in music. And music is easier. So when in doubt, when you think you have nothing at your immediate disposal to do, sing. Hum. Whistle. Ring a bell. It’s like a vibrational air freshener. Science has shown that when we sing together as a group our heartbeats align. We can conclude there is a gift in this. A gift we give other people around us. And even when we don’t sing, we know our hearts can hear each other, in the literal sense.

If your heart is electromagnetically “chatting” with the heart of a person walking down the sidewalk passing you in the opposite direction, what is it saying? Probably whatever you happen to be thinking and feeling at the moment. What do you find yourself thinking and feeling as you pass people on the street? Are you judging them on their clothes? Their bodies? Their smell? Their hair? Their strange reaction when you say hello to them? Whatever it is, that is what you’re sending them. And a part of them, if not multiple parts, are hearing you.

So, if your heart is a transmitter which is always in communication with its surroundings, what are you doing with that fact?

If our hearts, and perhaps even our individual consciousnesses, are communicating with one another, what should we have them say? Making a difference can be as easy as thinking or wishing well for someone to whom you may never even speak. Your heart will literally be projecting that idea to another heart, which is also listening for it.

A difference has been made in this world because people are awakening to new perspectives about their power and value. They are recognizing their light and sharing it. They are seeing the light in other people and helping them to reveal it.

You are not alone in your desire to improve, even save, this world for a new age. The wind is at our backs, never doubt it. Don’t believe all the news you hear. They have an agenda, no matter what side of the aisle they’re on. But I have one too. I want you to feel better. I want you to recognize that the good in this world is definitely expanding. Awaken yourself. You’ll see that the heart in us all beats to the rhythm of this earth and all those who walk upon it.

Wil Darcangelo, M.Div, is a Unitarian Universalist Minister at the First Church of Lancaster in Massachusetts. He is also the host of a monthly radio show called Our Common Dharma based on his columns every 4th Monday at noon on WPKZ 105.3FM. Email wildarcangelo@gmail.com. Follow him on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @wildarcangelo. His blog, Hopeful Thinking, can be found at www.hopefulthinkingworld.blogspot.com.

What is the learning curve of freedom and power? I ask this because that’s the question at the root of Western civilization and the single most important determining factor in our collective future.

What do groups of humanity do when they achieve freedom and power? And to clarify, individual people under only rare circumstances actually possess either true freedom, or power. I am drawing a larger picture here than individual people.

The specific freedom I’m speaking of is first a freedom from monarchical rule. It’s the tyrannical yolk our country removed from itself during the American Revolution. This country became free from King George and had thus fought for and won the right to self-governance.

I can picture those 18th century revolutionaries, having just won, saying to themselves, “So now what do we do?” At that moment, America began the still-unfinished learning curve of true freedom. The kids were now fully in charge of the candy store.

What does a kid do with its own giant candy store? What is the process of learning how to be responsible with such an asset? How long does it take to figure out its truest value?

Because I would think it’s inevitable that first the child would nearly destroy themselves with sugar. And then, following an expensive trip to the dentist, they’d realize they actually need to order more candy. At some point it might suddenly occur to them that they need to actually manage this business.

They’d start to notice their employees, of course. Either because they managed it via their own wisdom, or because the employees would revolt to the point to which their demands must be capitulated. Next begins the long learning curve of recognizing that the most profitable companies are ones in which their employees feel safe, respected, and valued.

It’s hard having freedom. It’s a lot of work. It’s not just a consequence-free utopia of eating all the candy you want. The process of wielding it with wisdom is a path littered with centuries of unintended consequences.

Where are we now in the long process of learning how to manage our candy store with wisdom? For wisdom naturally means compassion as well. The store owner would eventually realize that doing good business is more profound than simply having a product to sell that people want. There is a large system at play in which all of the various components have something to say about whether or not the business is successful. Employee satisfaction is prominent among them.

I use this metaphor (or perhaps overuse it) as a way of describing where we might be right now on this continuum. As well, I use it as a way of prognosticating what lies in the future.

It is my optimistic contention that we are on an upward trajectory with regard to the wisdom with which we deploy our freedom and power. We do not individually have all that much of it. But as a country, taking note of our place in the world, we have all the freedom and power we could ever hope to achieve. However, we would probably not give ourselves very high marks on our progress at the moment.

But to be honest, I don’t think it’s possible to truly grasp the wisdom necessary to wisely use freedom and power without first abusing it; without first over eating all of the candy in sight and suffering the gastrointestinal consequences to follow. Do humans really learn any other way?

Though some would argue against it (and in the process of preparing this column many have), I believe with every fiber of my being that we are going to be OK.

Our freedom and power are expanding to a worrying degree, it’s true. But when I look at the past 400 years with an eye to wondering what will happen in the next 400, I can’t help but observe the learning curve at work. Of course it’s hard to see the forest through the trees. It’s hard to think of what we are experiencing now as part of the progress we seek. But it most definitely is.

Our best evidence is the vast amount of human collaboration required to accomplish some of the things which might ultimately herald our best future. Accomplishments like medical innovations, space exploration, the survival of our species through a global pandemic. These do not happen by accident.

This scale of collaboration signals something extraordinarily encouraging about our future. Because there are a lot of things we can buy or figure out, but we can’t force collaboration to happen. Of course, you can put a number of smart people in a room at gunpoint and tell them to produce something. But will it yield the same result as collaboration which occurs through gradually increasing wisdom? Over time I feel that type of coerced collaboration will eventually collapse upon itself. Sure, it may produce things for a while, but its effectiveness will naturally erode because human ingenuity does not thrive in the presence of tyranny.

Coming through the pipeline now are things like quantum computing, nanotechnology, brain-computer interfaces, and of course, artificial intelligence. These are the new line of candy products in our store. Tastier than anything we’ve yet tried. But without wisdom or good collaboration, our teeth will explode from our head with cavities.

Are we gaining the wisdom we need in order to avoid the worst? Behind the scenes, yes,

But you have to look for it. I foresee a time in the not so distant future when our swords truly do become plowshares. Mainly because it’s inevitable that the learning curve would eventually make it so. How much we suffer in the meantime is up to us. But that our future is bright, I have no doubt whatsoever.

We will still need a good dental plan, though.

Wil Darcangelo, M.Div, is a Unitarian Universalist Minister at the First Parish of Fitchburg and the First Church of Lancaster. He is also the host of a monthly radio show called Our Common Dharma based on his columns every 4th Monday at noon on WPKZ 105.3FM. Email wildarcangelo@gmail.com. Follow him on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @wildarcangelo. His blog, Hopeful Thinking, can be found at www.hopefulthinkingworld.blogspot.com.

A lot of us feel pretty ineffective most of the time when looking at the world’s problems. We see suffering everywhere. Near to us, far from us, rich, poor, popular, lonely. Suffering appears to be ubiquitous to the human experience.

I know when I watch the news, I have to resist the urge to turn it off for the profound sensation of inadequacy it brings up in me.

I also know I am far from alone in this. I am sure that there are likely plenty of those who are not consciously recognizing why it is they feel the need to just pull the covers over their heads and pretend it’s all not happening. They simply feel overwhelmed and want it to stop.

I want to do that myself, but try as I may, I’m just not built that way. I can’t shut off my desire to make a positive impact in a frightening world. I wouldn’t say that this inner drive makes me feel any more effective, however. It often makes me feel as though I’m throwing grains of sand in a lake and expecting a great ripple.

What I frequently forget is that even a grain of sand does indeed make a ripple. It might not meet with my lofty expectations, and I might have to look quite closely to pick up on it. But even a grain of sand is still an object with mass, subject to the laws of cause and effect. A ripple is indeed the effect, even if small.

Must we be satisfied by that? Can we be? Ought we be? I think so.

I do think we should be satisfied by any ripple we make in the direction of being a loving force in the world.

The first day of spring was this week. And for the past few years, I have posted a series of countdowns to spring on my social media.

Nothing all that elaborate, or even daily. Just a little post counting down the days here and there when I felt like it.

Last November, before winter even began, my daughter asked when I would be starting my countdown to spring. I laughed because it was far earlier than any countdown I had done before. And the fact that she asked me about it as though it were a thing almost made it seem as though it was a tradition I had unwittingly begun.

But, in recognizing she was identifying a small need that she wanted something to look forward to, it occurred to me she would likely not be the only one. So, at 120 days to go before the first day of spring, I began counting down.

The response I got this time was noticeable for the number of comments people made about how relieved they were to see these posts. Sometimes they were having a hard day and just needed to see something positive. Sometimes the cold was just getting them that day.

Of course, there were those who cautioned me to avoid wishing my life away, and to find encouragement in the present. I do agree with them in principle, because I am definitely a “be here now“ kind of guy. But there are limits. And even though I have long reconciled myself to the beauty and other comforts that living through a New England winter can provide, and I never want to permanently move to a warmer climate, I still greatly look forward to the warmer seasons.

Doing the countdown this year, and beginning it so early, it made me realize that this little effort did indeed provide a number of people, possibly more than I realize, tiny grains of real comfort.

Perhaps we need it more now than ever due to the deeply conflicted world we presently live in. Maybe we need simple reminders here and there while in the midst of turmoil that all shall be well.

Posting the countdown to spring was an impossibly small effort during a very large time of challenge. But perhaps its size does not accurately describe its value.

I read an article once about a study that was done on the brain waves of people while thinking positive and negative thoughts. The negative thoughts registered very small brain waves. The positive thoughts were dramatically larger.

In my mind, the implications of this are twofold. One, that when we worry our negative thinking might have a tendency to bring more negativity into our lives, we have to realize it doesn’t have anywhere near the power we fear it does. And two, that we negate our small actions of love as being inconsequential, when the likely reality is that they are infinitely more far-reaching than we could imagine.

Try to take some comfort from this, if you can. Consider being more confident about the impact of even our smallest gestures of comfort and compassion. We are far from powerless. We have only to recognize that fact in order to change the world for the better. One grain of sand at a time.

Wil Darcangelo, M.Div, is a Unitarian Universalist Minister at the First Parish of Fitchburg and the First Church of Lancaster. He is also the host of a monthly radio show called Our Common Dharma based on his columns every 4th Monday at noon on WPKZ 105.3FM. Email wildarcangelo@gmail.com. Follow him on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @wildarcangelo. His blog, Hopeful Thinking, can be found at www.hopefulthinkingworld.blogspot.com.

“Jesus commanded them not to tell anyone. But the more he did so, the more they kept talking about it.”

That line from the seventh chapter of the gospel of Mark, which is considered to be a primary source material of the other gospels, reiterates something which is a recurring theme in scripture: Don’t tell anybody.

Why is that? It seems like the whole thrust of the Bible is to spread the word, so why would its central character command secrecy?

Scholars have a variety of interpretations for it. Some may be valid. None of us shall ever truly know. But the fact remains that, according to the stories as they’ve reached our ears today, the people who witness the miraculous are often, though not always, told to keep it under wraps. Why not always? Why ever?

Anyone with half an understanding of humanity would know that telling someone to keep something juicy a secret is the surest way to inspire the opposite. Are we claiming that Jesus, or God, for that matter, wouldn’t have an inkling of how humans behave with a secret? The more we are encouraged to secrecy, the more tempting it becomes to share it.

For the sake of argument, let’s place both God and Jesus on the pedestal upon which our culture claims they reside. Wouldn’t they know what we would do? If we are loved by them, would we be judged for what we would do? Would someone playing pinball judge the obstacles, or use them to wisely deflect the ball?

Perhaps the figure of Jesus was more shrewd a teacher than we openly recognize. Perhaps he had a very clear understanding of how God feels about us. And the verdict isn’t bad.

I’ve always felt that God did the same thing to Adam and Eve in the book of Genesis when commanding them not to eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge. Perhaps they were meant to partake of the fruit all along in order to launch themselves into the human experience through which we have the capacity to raise the vibration of the universe. The admonition against their consuming the fruit was definitely not ambivalent, and yet, we could interpret what came next as being either the fall of mankind, or the inception of a great human classroom.

And then there’s Pandora’s box. We vilify the demons which she unleashed, forgetting that Hope remained in the bottom of the box. That serves as an indication the box and its contents were always part of a greater picture. One that illustrates the Divine not only knows us, but believes in us. Of course Pandora is mythology. But for all we know, so is the Bible.

I think the reverse psychology of God as It is described in scripture is an indication that, perhaps, God gets us?

I know this is not proof of anything. But belief in God or the existence of prophetic teachers has no proof. Which means that good advice must stand on its own without a belief in God. Because if God exists in the way we describe It, It doesn’t need us to believe in It in order for us to benefit from Its love of us, or Its belief that we will figure out the way.

We can’t speak benevolence out of one side of our mouth while declaring God’s wrathful retribution with the other. We can’t conclude that God is both benevolent and retributive. I don’t believe it’s possible to truly love someone and be able to punish them.

I recognize that thought goes against what the vast majority of humanity seems to think. We feel that when people do something wrong, they should be punished. But the word punish, which means to cause pain in exchange for an offense, indicates the source of our strong feelings regarding the behavior and not the desire that the behavior ends. We are acting from our rage, not our reason.

There’s a nuanced difference to the way we design the repercussions of bad behavior. When we design them with retribution in mind, we know for a fact it only perpetuates the cycle of destructive behavior. But in this culture we more widely believe in dumping people in prison and throwing away the key rather than get under the skin of what prompted the behavior in the first place. It’s a vengeful mentality. It goes counter to everything we are meant to learn from all world scripture.

The pipeline to prison in our country is the thermometer which indicates our lack of recognition of the higher principles we claim to support. It also starkly contrasts with what we expect of the Divine and what we believe the Divine expects of us.

The reverse psychology of Jesus in the stories is a signal that we are understood and pre-forgiven of our weaknesses before we even commit them.

It’s saying that it’s OK we are flawed. Sometimes our flaws are the very thing which propels our advancement. Sometimes the flaws are not by accident but by design, which means they might not be flaws in the first place. At the very least, whether we believe in Scripture or not, the thought remains that sometimes we have to leverage our bad behavior toward benevolent ends. Sometimes we make terrible mistakes. But if we spend all our time and energy punishing ourselves for them, we might miss the grace which exists at their core.

Wil Darcangelo, M.Div, is a Unitarian Universalist Minister at the First Parish of Fitchburg and the First Church of Lancaster. He is also the host of a monthly radio show called Our Common Dharma based on his columns every 4th Monday at noon on WPKZ 105.3FM. Email wildarcangelo@gmail.com. Follow him on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @wildarcangelo. His blog, Hopeful Thinking, can be found at www.hopefulthinkingworld.blogspot.com.

I asked my husband recently about whether or not he believes in a benevolent God. He said no. The existence of suffering was his rationale. When I asked then if he thought it was all pointless, he said he did not believe it was. We then concluded that this was an indication of a form of faith, that all things have a purpose. Or at the very least, a potential. That does not automatically indicate a belief in the existence of God. For suffering can have potential with or without the presence of the Divine. Meaning, we can learn from our mistakes either way if we choose to.

That doesn’t mean God laid the mistake at our feet for that purpose. Faith in the potential value of our mistakes has an agnosticism to it which neatly evades the question about the existence of God. Something which many people could find helpful. It focuses on an inherent opportunity within suffering to improve things based on our personal experience of it.

As a person who believes in God, however, I have a hunch that Its benevolence can be seen as a withholding of interference. The reason I feel that is because we already know that natural consequences are better educators than punishment. If a kid draws on the wall, they learn more from having to clean the wall themselves than from being grounded and the wall getting cleaned on their behalf. They are disconnected from the consequence, and therefore learn nothing. The behavior may indeed be modified away from doing it again, but through coercion and negative reinforcement rather than actual learning.

Are we saying that we understand this concept better than God does? I can’t imagine that being the case. Further, I believe that allowing us to fail is an indication that God has faith in our ability to figure it out on our own using the principles and guidelines we’ve been given through history’s spiritual teachers.

But are we alone in our suffering? I can’t believe that, personally. The fact that there is so much guiding spiritual text in the world designed to help inform our choices in a more loving direction serves as an indicator that we were either made with that inner understanding or that it’s being constantly whispered to us. Or possibly both. I choose to see this as a signal that we are accompanied by God through our suffering because to prevent it entirely would be enabling us rather than empowering us. It would violate the prime directive.

The Old Testament describes God as a dispenser of unnatural consequences. It describes God as an all powerful male figure who casually annihilates everything from individuals to cities to flooding the entire world as a punishment for human misbehavior. Does that seem logical?

If Sodom and Gomorrah were so horrible, then they were already dying by the sword they lived by, and did not need to be destroyed in a cataclysm they could not possibly understand as a consequence of their actions. I think the authors of the Old Testament were making assumptions about why that cataclysm occurred, assuming it did. They were choosing to connect dots that felt logical to them. Perhaps they even saw their reporting of it as a helpful cautionary tale. But there is no spiritual logic to wrathful punishment. Although to be clear, this does not mean that someone who commits a crime against society should not be separated from it for a time to reflect upon their actions. But through a rehabilitation process informed by benevolence, the intention should be that they are one day restored to it. We already know that this approach reduces the number of those who return to prison, and isn’t that what we want? Benevolence also dictates that even for those who cannot be rehabilitated, their confinement must at least be humane.

We should also examine the character of suffering itself when looking for clues about the benevolence of God. For that is the aspect which hinges our complicated feelings about it.

What is suffering? Obviously, it is unhappiness or trauma due to unfavorable circumstances. But from what types of things do we typically suffer? As an illustration, child abuse is a form of suffering that exposes flaws within our wider system. It is hereditary in the sense that frequently adults who have suffered in their childhood from abuse are much more likely to inflict it upon their own children. Improving our systems of education and mental health would reduce the likelihood of child abuse by orders of magnitude. So it points to even that form of abuse as a natural consequence of ignoring our people and their emotional needs.

Check out next Saturday’s Hopeful Thinking column for Part III of “Is God Benevolent or Not?”

Wil Darcangelo, M.Div, is a Unitarian Universalist Minister at the First Parish of Fitchburg and the First Church of Lancaster. He is also the host of a monthly radio show called Our Common Dharma based on his columns every 4th Monday at noon on WPKZ 105.3FM. Email wildarcangelo@gmail.com. Follow him on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @wildarcangelo. His blog, Hopeful Thinking, can be found at www.hopefulthinkingworld.blogspot.com.