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Tag: Honesty

  • Over Half of Workers Tell Employers This Expensive Lie | Entrepreneur

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    The truth is out of office for some employees.

    As workers increasingly resist the 40-hour work week, some of them even bend the facts to get their time back.

    A new report from online resume builder Kickresume, which surveyed nearly 2,000 employees worldwide, found that only 18% of them work the full 7-8 hours expected of them — unbeknownst to their managers.

    Related: Are You Leaving Work Before 5 P.M.? You’re Not Alone, the Workday Is Actually Getting Shorter, According to a New Report.

    Instead, nearly 60% of employees surveyed admitted they’re not fully honest on their timesheets. Most (44%) said they round up every now and then; 12% said they sometimes stretch the truth a little bit. A much smaller group (3%) said they regularly over-report their hours.

    Disengaged employees contributed to an estimated $438 billion in lost productivity in 2024, per Gallup’s latest State of the Global Workplace report.

    There’s also a generational divide when it comes to lying about hours worked, according to Kickresume’s research.

    Related: Gen Z Is Changing the Workplace — Here Are 4 Trends Employers Can’t Ignore

    Gen Z employees were the most likely to admit to rounding up (49%) and stretching the truth (13%). Thirty-five percent of Gen Z workers claimed perfect honesty in timesheet reporting.

    Gen X employees, on the other hand, were most likely (46%) to claim total honesty when filling out their timesheets; 40% admitted to rounding up occasionally.

    Millennial workers came in close behind for claims of complete honesty at 43%, and 42% admitted to rounding up their hours from time to time.

    Related: This Is the Biggest Lie People Put on Their Resume

    Additionally, Gen X and millennial employees reported being equally likely (12%) to sometimes stretch the truth on their hours.

    Across all generations, just 7% of employees said they never take any unofficial breaks during the work day, per Kickresume’s research.

    Among the majority of workers who do give themselves some leeway, coffee or snack breaks emerged as the most popular way to spend time away from work (58%), the survey found.

    The truth is out of office for some employees.

    As workers increasingly resist the 40-hour work week, some of them even bend the facts to get their time back.

    A new report from online resume builder Kickresume, which surveyed nearly 2,000 employees worldwide, found that only 18% of them work the full 7-8 hours expected of them — unbeknownst to their managers.

    The rest of this article is locked.

    Join Entrepreneur+ today for access.

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    Amanda Breen

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  • The Compliment Sandwich: How to Give Constructive Feedback That Sticks

    The Compliment Sandwich: How to Give Constructive Feedback That Sticks

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    Want to make your advice and feedback more digestible? Learn how to make a “Compliment Sandwich” to deliver constructive criticism in a more positive and motivating way.


    Have you ever struggled to share your thoughts with a colleague or friend without sounding too harsh? Being able to offer advice, feedback, and constructive input is an essential skill in both personal and professional environments. However, striking the right balance between positive reinforcement and helpful critique can be tricky.

    The “Compliment Sandwich” is one effective technique for delivering constructive criticism. It works by balancing both positive and negative comments, making it easier for the recipient to agree and act upon your suggestion. Here’s how it looks in action.

    What Is the Compliment Sandwich?

    The main goal of the “Compliment Sandwich” is to deliver criticism while maintaining a positive tone throughout the conversation.

    It involves three key parts:

    • Positive Opening (First Slice of Bread): Start with a genuine compliment or acknowledgment of something the person is doing well. This sets a positive tone and makes the recipient feel valued right away.
    • Constructive Critique (The Filling): Present the main feedback or critique in a clear, supportive way. This is the heart of the feedback where you address what needs improvement or adjustment.
    • Positive Closing (Second Slice of Bread): End with another positive or encouraging statement to reinforce your support and motivate the recipient. This leaves them feeling confident and balanced.

    Practical Applications and Examples

    Here are some hypothetical examples to show how the Compliment Sandwich works in practice. Remember, these aren’t scripts to follow word-for-word, just guidelines to inspire your own approach.

    1. Workplace Feedback

    Scenario: Addressing an employee’s inconsistent communication with the team.

    • Positive Opening: “I really appreciate the effort you put into your work and the unique insights you bring to our projects.”
    • Constructive Critique: “Lately, I’ve noticed some delays in team updates, which can make it harder for everyone to stay aligned and avoid miscommunication. Improving this will help the team function more smoothly.”
    • Positive Closing: “I look forward to seeing what you contribute to the team’s future success.”

    2. Teacher and Student

    Scenario: A teacher providing feedback on an essay.

    • Positive Opening: “Your thesis is engaging, and it’s clear you put a lot of thought into your argument.”
    • Constructive Critique: “To strengthen your essay, consider adding recent studies or relevant examples to support your ideas.”
    • Positive Closing: “You’re on the right track, I’m excited to see how this will evolve with the added research—I have no doubt it will be excellent!”

    3. Personal Relationships

    Scenario: Talking to a friend who tends to dominate conversations.

    • Positive Opening: “I always enjoy talking with you because you have so many great stories.”
    • Constructive Critique: “Sometimes I don’t get a chance to share my thoughts as much. It would mean a lot to me if we could balance our conversations a bit more.”
    • Positive Closing: “I love our chats and look forward to many more. Your energy makes them lively!”

    4. Coaching in Sports

    Scenario: A coach providing feedback on a player’s performance.

    • Positive Opening: “I love the energy and determination you bring to every game.”
    • Constructive Critique: “Your defensive positioning needs some improvement, I can help you work on that during practice this weekend.”
    • Positive Closing: “Keep up the hard work, and I know with some adjustments, you’ll be a better player all around.”

    Tips for Effectiveness

    • Be Genuine: Sincere compliments are essential to avoid feedback feeling manipulative. Always be truthful.
    • Learn to Find the Good: Practice recognizing positive traits in others. This makes it easier to offer genuine compliments and feedback.
    • Remember the Positivity Ratio: Aim for a 3:1 ratio of positive to critical feedback to maintain motivation and foster growth.
    • Share Good News: Inject positivity by sharing good news, which can have a “bless the messenger” effect, where people feel more positive towards a person delivering uplifting information. 
    • Adjust for Context: Tailor your feedback based on the recipient and situation. Some prefer gentle handling, while others want direct feedback.

    Limitations of the Compliment Sandwich

    The Compliment Sandwich has been widely used as a feedback tool, originating from management and communication training programs, typically in a corporate or organizational setting. Despite its popularity, it has drawbacks. One major criticism is that it can feel formulaic if used too often. When feedback follows the same pattern every time, it risks sounding insincere, reducing its effectiveness. The best feedback is organic and authentic. Use the Compliment Sandwich as a flexible guideline, not a rigid formula. Adapt your specific feedback based on the situation and the individual. Keep your communication fresh and spontaneous.

    Psychological Foundations: Priming and the Recency Effect

    The effectiveness of the Compliment Sandwich can be better understood through psychological principles like priming and the recency effect.

    Priming is about how an initial stimulus can influence how someone perceives a subsequent one. In this context, the initial positive statement can make someone more open to subsequent feedback. Starting with praise sets a receptive tone, reducing defensiveness when delivering constructive critique.

    The recency effect means people remember the last part of an experience most clearly. Ending feedback with a positive comment leverages this effect, leaving the recipient with a favorable impression and motivating them to act on the critique.

    The main takeaway? Start and end on a good note. It’s a simple yet powerful and scientifically-backed way to boost the effectiveness of your communication while maintaining truth and honesty.

    Conclusion

    The Compliment Sandwich can be an effective way to deliver balanced and constructive feedback when used thoughtfully. The key is to avoid being scripted and to ensure that your feedback is sincere and unrehearsed. Try using the Compliment Sandwich the next time you give feedback and see if it changes the way people respond to your feedback and suggestions.


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    Steven Handel

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  • The Power of Sincerity – And How to Stop Hiding Behind Sarcasm and Irony

    The Power of Sincerity – And How to Stop Hiding Behind Sarcasm and Irony

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    Modern culture has become dominated by sarcasm, irony, and carefully crafted personas. Sincerity and earnestness have become rare, but still powerful forces. Discover how embracing these qualities can transform personal relationships, enrich public discourse, and inspire acts of genuine heroism.


    Sincerity is one of the most important yet under-appreciated traits in today’s world. It’s the simple ability to be open and honest about your thoughts, beliefs, and intentions, without needing to play games, try to manipulate, or retreat to humor or sarcasm when conversations get tough.

    First and foremost, sincerity requires you to be honest with yourself and what really matters to you. It means you believe in something, and you are willing to speak and act on that conviction even if it makes you unpopular or unlikable. People will often see you as being genuine and authentic if you stand up for what you believe in, especially when it comes with social costs.

    Philosopher Thomas Carlyle emphasized the importance of “sincerity” and identified it as one of the universal threads behind all types of heroes, including writers, political leaders, and religious figures. For Carlyle, heroes don’t just preach or philosophize; they embody their beliefs in every action, making them prime examples of what true conviction looks like. They morally refuse to run, hide, or cower in the face of opposition, even when their very lives are at stake.

    Sincerity stands out sharply in our current environment, especially on the internet and social media where we are exposed to countless manufactured images and personas, driven by a general pattern of cultural narcissism and “fake it ’till you make it” philosophies. People believe as long as they can appear “happy” and “successful” on social media then it will become a reality in their actual lives. Lies, distortions, and deception are the modus operandi in today’s online world, you see it almost everywhere.

    The scary truth for most people is that sincerity makes you vulnerable and open to criticism. It invites others to judge you for who you are and what you really believe in. Negative feedback comes with the territory, and it will hurt because it will feel like a direct attack on you (and maybe it is). The alternative is to not be yourself – then you’ll never be attacked for who you are. That sounds safe and comfortable, but it’s also a form of quiet surrender.

    Hiding Behind Sarcasm

    One common way people protect themselves from this vulnerability is by being sarcastic or ironic in how they present themselves and their views.

    Sarcasm and irony can become convenient cop-outs when you are confronted with opposition or pushback from others. Instead of staking your ground and defending your beliefs, you can always fall back and tell people, “I was just joking,” or “I didn’t really mean that.”

    Nowadays it’s hard to tell what anyone really believes or doesn’t believe, which adds an extra layer of chaos and confusion in what is already a toxic environment for healthy dialogue.

    Sarcasm is a common defense mechanism in teens and young adults when confronted with a difficult or uncomfortable situation that they aren’t equipped to talk about. In the movie Inside Out 2 (which I wrote a recent article on here), the character Ennui – who represents disinterest and boredom – was a fun illustration of how sarcasm is used to deflect attention away from more serious situations or conversations that a person isn’t ready to tackle head-on.

    This is not uncharacteristic of the modern discourse we see in politics and culture, which is – at its core – childish, dishonest, and insincere. We are taught to not be too serious or care too much about the truth, but to focus on cheap wins, sensationalist headlines, silly memes, gotcha moments, snappy slogans, juicy scandals, and mean-spirited insults, trolling, and harassment. We are focused not on what is true, but what makes us “look good” or “feel good.”

    In theory, the goal of a healthy debate is to share different perspectives, exchange information, test out your ideas, provide facts and evidence to support your position, and come to some common ground or understanding of differences. None of this is happening in today’s intellectual environment.

    Sarcasm is just one way we avoid and shutdown these honest and difficult conversations. It can be a roadblock to understanding in both personal relationships and broader social and political issues.

    Of course sarcasm has its place as a vehicle for humor. It can be especially effective when you are responding to someone who is insulting you, or trolling you, or is acting in bad faith and isn’t interested in a sincere conversation from the start.

    At the same time, we need to try to give people the benefit of the doubt and at least try to have good faith conversations whenever possible. Without sincerity, there is no real path forward – only more conflict and hostilities.

    Sincerity as the Mark of Heroes

    As mentioned before, the philosopher and historian Thomas Carlyle identified “sincerity” as one of the universal threads behind all types of heroes, whether they be writers, philosophers, religious leaders, or political leaders.

    In his work On Heroes, Hero-Worship, and The Heroic in History, Carlyle champions figures like Martin Luther, the religious reformer who famously nailed his “95 Theses” to the church door, fully aware that it could bring him condemnation and peril. Luther challenged the powerful Catholic Church, especially its practice of selling indulgences, making his public protest an act of great personal risk. This unwavering belief in his cause, despite threats from powerful institutions, is a prime example of sincerity in action.

    Similarly, Carlyle held Oliver Cromwell, the military and political leader of the English Civil War, in high regard for his conviction and honesty. Cromwell was often criticized for his decisions, yet he remained steadfast in his mission to reshape England according to his moral and religious beliefs. Carlyle saw Cromwell’s sincerity as his defining characteristic, even if it made him deeply unpopular.

    Another chapter is dedicated to the prophet Muhammad. For over a decade, Muhammad faced ridicule, persecution, and exile for preaching his monotheistic beliefs in a society dominated by polytheism. Despite immense personal hardship, including the loss of family and status, Muhammad never wavered or compromised his beliefs, showing an unshakable faith in the truth of his message. As Carlyle writes:

      “A silent great soul; he was one of those who cannot but be in earnest; whom Nature herself has appointed to be sincere. While others walk in formulas and hearsays, contented enough to dwell there, this man could not screen himself in formulas; he was alone with his own soul and the reality of things. The great mystery of Existence, as I said, glared in upon him, with its terrors, with its splendors; no hearsays could hide that unspeakable fact, ‘Here am I!’; Such sincerity, as we named it, has in very truth something of divine. The word of such a man is a voice direct from Nature’s own heart. Men do and must listen to that as to nothing else;—all else is wind in comparison.”

    Regardless of how you feel about these historical figures, you can’t deny that they were sincere in their intentions and lived according to their values and convictions. These figures, according to Carlyle, demonstrate that heroes are people who not only believe in what they do but live and act upon that belief with wholehearted consistency, even in the face of tremendous personal and social costs.

    Sincerity remains a rare force for truth and change, and we need it now more than ever.


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    Steven Handel

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  • The Many Faces of Deception: Understanding the Different Types of Lying

    The Many Faces of Deception: Understanding the Different Types of Lying

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    Learn how to identify the many types of lying and deception, including overt forms like outright fabrications and gaslighting, to subtle forms like white lies and lying by omission.


    Lying is not always as clear-cut as telling a blatant falsehood. It can take many different forms, from subtle omissions to outright fabrications, each hurting our ability to understand reality, communicate effectively, and build honest relationships.

    Some people try to justify certain forms of lying by claiming they didn’t technically say anything wrong, but knowing they were engaging in deception by not mentioning a key fact or framing an event in a misleading way.

    This is why it’s important to recognize the many forms of deception and dishonesty. It allows us to better spot lying in our daily lives at home, work, or in the news, while also making us more honest communicators by avoiding these conveniently deceptive tactics.

    Here’s a comprehensive breakdown of the many types of lying so that you can better recognize them in the future. Which do you have a hard time spotting? Which do you sometimes engage in yourself?

    1. Falsehood

    The most straightforward type of lying is the falsehood, where someone knowingly presents information that is entirely untrue. Falsehoods are blatant lies meant to deceive the listener by fabricating facts, events, or circumstances. “2 + 2 = 5” is a lie, no matter who says it or what day of the week it is. This form of lying is often the easiest to identify, especially when you have clear evidence that disproves it. This is what typically comes to mind when we think of a “lie.”

    Example: Claiming you were at work all day when, in reality, you took the day off.

    2. Lying by Omission

    Lying by omission involves leaving out critical information that changes the nature of the fact. While the information provided may be true, the omission of key details results in a misleading impression. This type of lying is subtle and can be particularly insidious, as it allows the liar to maintain a facade of honesty, they may even claim they just “forgot” that one fact or didn’t think it was important to mention, knowing full well it changes the nature of their story.

    Example: Telling a partner, “I went out with some friends last night,” but leaving out that you also met up with an ex during the outing.

    3. Out-of-Context Lying

    Out-of-context lying happens when someone presents an isolated truthful statement or quote in a way that strips it of its original meaning or intention. By removing context, the speaker can still be “technically” correct while deceiving the listener. This type of lie is frequently used in media, politics, and interpersonal conflicts to distort the truth while avoiding outright falsehoods.

    Example: Quoting someone as saying, “I don’t care,” without mentioning that they were referring to a trivial matter rather than something important.

    4. Starting the Story in the Middle

    This type of lying involves telling a story or recounting an event but beginning at a point that omits important prior details. By starting in the middle, the liar can shift blame, change the narrative, or make themselves appear more favorable. This creates a skewed version of events that misleads the listener into forming a biased conclusion. This form of lying is particularly effective where the full story can’t be known until you get both sides’ perspectives.

    Example: Describing an argument with a friend but starting with the moment they shouted at you, without mentioning that you had insulted them first.

    5. Dishonest Framing

    Dishonest framing involves presenting a story or situation from a deliberately biased or one-sided perspective, often emphasizing certain details or using dramatic language. This tactic is used to guide the audience toward a particular interpretation, typically one that benefits the person doing the framing. In many cases, individuals cast themselves into roles like “victim,” “savior,” or “persecutor” (see the drama triangle framework) to manipulate how others see them.

    Example: After being criticized by a coworker for missing a deadline, you recount the incident to others by saying, “I’m being unfairly targeted at work for no reason,” without mentioning that you had repeatedly ignored reminders about the approaching deadline.

    6. White Lies

    White lies are minor, often well-intentioned, lies told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or to prevent minor inconveniences. These lies are typically considered harmless, like telling a friend, “I like your band,” even when their music isn’t to your taste. However, while white lies may seem innocuous, they can accumulate over time, leading to bigger issues such as a pattern of dishonesty or a gradual erosion of trust. To avoid white lies, try shifting the focus to something you genuinely appreciate about the person. For example, instead of saying, “I don’t like that outfit,” you might say, “I prefer this outfit of yours.”

    Example: Telling a friend you love their new outfit when you think it’s not flattering, just to spare their feelings.

    7. Silence

    Silence can be a form of lying when someone withholds information or refuses to speak up on important matters, especially when they know that their silence will lead others to a false conclusion. Like lying by omission, silence can be used to manipulate a situation without saying anything outright false.

    Example: Knowing that a coworker is being falsely accused of a mistake but choosing not to speak up to correct the record.

    8. Exaggeration

    Exaggeration involves inflating or overstating the truth to make it seem more significant or severe than it really is. Common forms of exaggerated thinking include overgeneralizing (“this always happens to me!”), catastrophizing (“this is the worst thing ever!”), and jumping-to-conclusions (“I’m always right!”). Exaggeration often serves as a way to evoke sympathy, justify actions, or amplify the importance of a situation to gain attention.

    Example: Saying you “had the worst day of your life” because you spilled mustard on your shirt, when in reality, it was a minor inconvenience.

    9. Minimization

    Minimization is the opposite of exaggeration; it involves downplaying the significance or impact of a fact, making it seem less important or harmful than it actually is. This tactic is often used to avoid responsibility, diffuse conflict, or lessen the perceived severity of an issue. By quickly glossing over key details or understating the consequences, the person minimizes the importance of the situation.

    Example: Describing a car accident that resulted in significant damage as “just a little fender bender” to avoid admitting the seriousness of the incident.

    10. Ambiguity

    Ambiguity involves the use of vague or unclear language to avoid giving a direct answer or fully addressing the truth. This technique often includes sidestepping the main issue, providing incomplete information, or being purposefully elusive. Ambiguity allows the person to create a sense of uncertainty or misinterpretation, which they can later exploit by claiming they weren’t lying but were simply misunderstood.

    Example: When asked if you completed a task, you respond with, “I’ve made some progress,” leaving the impression that you’re almost done when, in reality, you’ve barely started.

    11. Misleading Statistics

    People can lie with statistics too. Misleading statistics occur when data is manipulated or presented in a way that distorts the truth. This can involve cherry-picking data, using biased samples, or presenting figures without the necessary context to understand them accurately. The goal is to deceive the audience into drawing false conclusions based on the manipulated numbers.

    Example: Reporting that “90% of users love our product,” without mentioning that only 10 people were surveyed.

    12. Fabrication

    Fabrication involves creating entirely false information, events, or details that never happened. This is similar to falsehood but often involves more elaborate story-telling and imagination. Fabrication is common among individuals who seek to impress, manipulate, or deceive others for personal gain or attention, including pathological liars who get a thrill by making up bigger and bigger lies.

    Example: Inventing a fictional story about heroically stopping a robbery to impress someone on a first date.

    13. Gaslighting

    Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where the liar attempts to make the victim doubt their own perceptions, memory, or sanity. This is done by consistently denying reality (“You’re just imagining things”), distorting the truth (“It didn’t happen that way”), and making the victim question their own experiences (“You’re insane” or “You’re the real liar”). Gaslighting is often part of a broader pattern of abuse and manipulation, and it can involve complex webs of lies designed to control and disorient the victim.

    Example: Telling someone they’re “overreacting” or “remembering things wrong” when they confront you about an event that just happened.

    Conclusion

    As you can see, lying and dishonesty can take many different forms. By recognizing these various types of lying and the subtle ways in which the truth can be manipulated and distorted, we can better identify these tactics in our daily interactions — both as a speaker and a listener.


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    Steven Handel

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  • How to Build a Culture of Radical Honesty (and Why You Should) | Entrepreneur

    How to Build a Culture of Radical Honesty (and Why You Should) | Entrepreneur

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    What keeps me up at night? Watermelons.

    As a CEO, my biggest fear is that the digital dashboards capturing my company’s vital signs are the business equivalent of that tropical fruit — green and firm on the outside, but red and mushy underneath. At first glance, everything looks solid. Then one morning, I get a call from a client asking, “What the hell is going on with A, B or C?”

    This concern isn’t fair to my team, who consistently exceed my expectations. But the reality is that for many leaders, such nagging fears can persist. When there’s a problem, the last thing you want is for people to give you the impression — intentionally or not — that things are better than they truly are. So, how do you avoid this?

    For the past few years, I’ve led a company in an industry facing astronomical demand. One of the biggest lessons: The agility, operational excellence and innovation required to meet this challenge requires building a culture of radical honesty.

    Here are three ways that leaders and their teams can embrace radical honesty — and reap the benefits of better decision-making and a true picture of where the business stands.

    Related: How to Employ Radical Candor in the Workplace With 5 Simple Steps

    Encourage your people to admit their weaknesses — and play to their strengths

    A simple formula for business success: Do things consistently better than the competition, and those wins will compound over time. The key to pulling it off? Let people focus on their strengths and delegate everything else.

    That calls for honesty and transparency. “Fake it till you make it” doesn’t always work in business, where pretending can have disastrous consequences. As a leader, I want people to do the opposite — by asking for help and saying, “I don’t know.”

    One way to do this is by empowering and trusting team members to be rock stars in their domain. That makes our company better at creating innovative technologies, tackling new markets and responding nimbly to changing conditions.

    But at the same time, as I urge people to lean into their strengths, I give them permission to be less adept at other things. For example, if a member of my leadership team is no good at financial underwriting, I tell them to own it like a badge of honor.

    After all, that’s what hiring is for. To make up for their lack of knowledge and expertise in a particular area, we can bring on someone to fill the gap. It’s my job as CEO to explain that the goal isn’t to undermine or replace them, but to help them focus on what they do best.

    There’s a direct line between that mindset and business results. In one study, companies whose CEOs excelled at delegating grew more than twice as fast as those with a less skilled delegator at the helm.

    Don’t default to the rulebook

    For leaders, honesty is nearly always the best policy, even if it means ruffling a few feathers or going against convention.

    Sometimes this requires poking holes in well-intentioned ideas that also happen to be intellectually lazy. This came up recently in a chat with my team about how we plan to meet the demand that AI is creating in our industry. While some of the ideas presented were sound, others needed more probing.

    Take the argument for keeping someone in a management role because they’ve done the job forever. Many companies default to this way of thinking, but what if they’re overlooking a newer hire with a fresh perspective and a natural ability to inspire the team? To me, sticking with option A isn’t an intellectually honest approach.

    As hard as it is, leaders can’t escape making these kinds of tough decisions. Without abandoning all loyalty to people, they should consider what’s best for the business and make pragmatic rather than emotional choices. Even if those decisions aren’t always popular.

    In a broader sense, being intellectually honest means knowing when adhering to the rulebook is hurting the company, not helping it. For example, I’m a big believer in hiring top talent, telling them where our True North is, and then letting them figure out the best way forward. If somebody needs a course correction, that can be addressed. But expecting the entire team to follow every company rule to the letter? That will only slow us down.

    Related: Stop Lying to Your Team — And Yourself. Try Radical Honesty Instead.

    Give the team a license to speed without getting a ticket

    Leading with radical honesty also requires getting real with yourself and your team about how willing you are to embrace failure.

    At our latest companywide offsite, I told people I want them to fail more. For a business, that isn’t as risky as it might sound. Companies that are serious about innovation should be willing to try new things and pivot fast if they don’t work.

    Take Airbnb, which didn’t begin by building an elaborate home rental website. Instead, the founders tested the waters by renting out their own loft online. Google Glass — released by a company famous for its “moonshots” — is a good example of a failed experiment. When its smart glasses didn’t catch fire with consumers, Google moved on.

    Encouraging creative destruction means removing the fear of failure, a major cause of inaction. Within reason, people should be able to fail out loud without worrying they’ll get fired.

    For me as a leader, there’s little risk because I’ve hired talented people who are laser-focused on executing well. All they really need is a license to speed without getting a ticket.

    Unfortunately, many business leaders don’t see things that way. Despite all the rhetoric around moving fast and breaking things, less than half of companies have a leadership team that regularly tolerates small-scale failures, according to a recent global survey of CEOs.

    Someone should explain to them that the rewards of letting people fail can be substantial. In a study of 120 tech startups, those committed to learning from failure produced greater scientific output, raised more capital and innovated more.

    Of course, businesses must also know when to play it safe. For Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, there’s a big difference between “experimental failure” (good) and “operational failure” (bad). It’s the same at my company, where the mission-critical computer and electrical systems that power our facilities don’t leave much room for error. But even there we get creative — for example, by finding innovative ways to keep the lights on during a blackout.

    Related: How to Allow Room for Failure and Create a Successful Work Environment

    For leaders and their teams, the biggest benefit of a culture of radical honesty is the elimination of fear: that employees will get into trouble for taking risks, that folks aren’t good enough at their jobs or that the company is actually on shaky ground.

    Ultimately, ensuring that everyone knows where they and the organization stand is a competitive advantage, thanks to a more engaged workforce, a clear view of where the business needs to grow and iterate, and a culture where people feel as emboldened to innovate as they do to ask for help. When it comes to performance, what you see is what you get. So, here’s to keeping watermelons where they belong — at the company picnic.

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    Andrew Schaap

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  • 6 Common Factors Behind All Successful Therapy

    6 Common Factors Behind All Successful Therapy

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    According to “common factors theory,” the essence of successful therapy lies in shared core elements, and the differences between therapeutic approaches are often less important than fulfilling these fundamental criteria.


    One frequent question people ask themselves when they first decide to seek therapy is, “What type of therapy should I get?”

    There are many different types of talk therapy to choose from. Often specific types of therapy are geared toward specific mental disorders. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is common for depression and anxiety disorders, Dialectic Behavioral Therapy is common for bipolar and mood disorders, and EMDR is common among those with PTSD.

    How much do these therapies differ? How much does it matter?

    One interesting idea in psychology is “common factors theory.” The basic premise is that effective therapy isn’t necessarily based on any specific type of therapeutic tool or technique, but rather there are underlying factors behind all therapies that make them successful.

    Many therapeutic systems have been invented over the past century. Today, every popular therapist or coach has their own trademarked brand that’s sold as the absolute best approach to mental health.

    The less glamorous truth is that most successful therapies aren’t special. There’s significant overlap between different approaches, with a couple extra bells and whistles. However, at the end of the day the biggest reason they are successful is because they all meet fundamental criteria.

    Below you’ll learn more about these “common factors” behind successful therapy, including: collaboration, empathy, alliance, positive regard, genuineness, and individual differences.

    6 Common Factors Behind All Successful Therapy

    One interesting study identified 6 common factors behind all “evidence-based” therapy. They also calculated estimates on how much each factor contributed to the overall variability of therapeutic outcomes.

    Here are the 6 common factors behind all successful therapy:

    • Goal consensus / collaboration (11.5%) – The most important factor is that both the therapist and client share the same goal and they’re willing to work together to achieve it. A goal can be anything from managing negative emotions, to stopping bad habits, to improving communication skills. If their goals mismatch (such as the client not wanting to change or the therapist wanting to go in a different direction), then it’ll be difficult if not impossible to make any progress. Both people need to be on the same page.
    • Empathy (9%) – The therapist must have a clear understanding of who their patient is and where they are coming from. This means being aware of their current thoughts and feelings, but also learning a comprehensive history of that patient’s past experiences and background. We build empathy by seeking knowledge and understanding about another person. Don’t try to guess, label, or project where someone is coming from. Ask questions and learn. A therapist must treat each person as their own individual case. A scientific study of n=1. Every person has a unique story and a therapist’s job is to learn each person’s story.
    • Alliance (7.5%) – Both therapist and client must see their relationship as a partnership where each puts in equal effort to realize their shared goal. For the therapist, this means providing advice, encouragement, compliments, and constructive feedback. For the client, this means putting in work outside of the therapy session (in everyday life) so they actually see changes and results. A healthy alliance requires three main components: 1) A shared bond between therapist and client, 2) Agreement about the goals of therapy, and 3) Agreement about the tasks to achieve it (practical advice, tips, suggestions, exercises, homework). Therapy has to be viewed as more than just talking once per week, but rather an impetus to work together, create a plan, and achieve real progress.
    • Positive regard / affirmation (7.3%) – It’s important that the therapist treats the patient with optimism, positivity, compliments, and encouragement. While a therapist sometimes needs to provide critical and constructive feedback, they should generally promote the patient’s self-esteem and core values. If a therapist tries to fundamentally change something about a person that they don’t want to, there’s naturally going to be conflict and difficulties. One idea known as unconditional positive regard was popularized by the humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers. He highlighted the importance of being agreeable and respectful toward the patient’s core beliefs, values, and goals (even if you disagree with them). Rogers saw therapy as a tool to encourage self-discovery and self-awareness, not tell a patient exactly how they should live their life.
    • Congruence / genuineness (5.7%) – Both the therapist and patient need to be open, genuine, and authentic. If the patient feels the therapist is just “putting on an act” or “pretending to be nice,” they are going to want to pullback and disengage from the process. A good therapist needs to be just as vulnerable as the patient. This means sharing relevant thoughts and feelings, being honest and matter-of-fact, and being willing to express emotions when appropriate. One telltale sign of incongruence is when there is a mismatch in body language (including posture, facial expressions, or tone of voice). If a therapist’s words don’t match their body language, the patient likely won’t develop any trust or rapport.
    • Therapist differences (5%) – The last important factor, which may be beyond our control, is personality differences between the therapist and client. Not everyone is designed to get along with everyone, and sometimes the therapist and patient are just too different when it comes to attitude, temperament, background, or lifestyle. Many therapy sessions don’t work out simply because the therapist/patient relationship doesn’t seem to mesh right. This is why it’s recommended that a person tries out multiple therapists when first starting out. Then they can find someone that fits with their personality and a therapist to commit to long-term.

    These are the 6 most common factors behind successful therapy. They account for ~50% of the total variability in therapeutic outcomes, so there are still many other factors at play.

    In truth, different types of therapies have their advantages and disadvantages, and certain approaches may work better for some and not at all for others.

    Regardless of the system, successful therapy often needs to meet the basic requirements listed above. Without these common factors being met, no technique or approach is going to work.

    A Warning on Overspecialized Therapy

    A therapist needs to be flexible in their approach and try not to force fit everyone into their preferred model.

    The more a person is trained and/or educated on a specific field in psychology, the more they seem to be “locked in” to only one way of observing the human condition. They don’t talk to people as human beings at face value, but instead think, “How does this person fit into my cognitive/behavioral/psychodynamic/evolutionary model?”

    Expertise (and overspecialization) can narrow vision. A certain element of beginner’s mind is the best approach to therapy. Start with the basic questions, “Who is this person? What do they care about? What makes them tick? What do they want to change?”

    Assume nothing and ask questions. Learn about the person from scratch. Connect to them human-to-human and see where it goes.

    More concerning, certain therapies have become popularized and over-hyped in recent years. They’ve turned into commercial brands. “Cognitive-behavioral therapy” has become a buzzword in many circles because the average person associates it with the only “evidence-based” therapy.

    Of course I’m not against specific therapies. I’ve learned a lot of helpful tools and techniques from various systems (including CBT) that I still practice today.

    At the end of the day, I’m a pragmatist, so there’s almost no therapy, treatment, medication, or technique I’m 100% for or against. If it helps just one person, then it’s that much effective.

    However, in general, a good therapist needs to have a comprehensive understanding of how humans work. Tools and techniques can be in your back-pocket, but first and foremost you need to approach people as individual human beings seeking growth.

    Successful therapy can’t be reduced to a checklist.

    The Gloria Tapes: 3 Therapeutic Approaches

    This topic reminds me of an old series of videos known as the Gloria Tapes.

    It was an educational film made in the 1960s to teach psychology students the differences between therapeutic approaches.

    The series follows a single patient, Gloria, who receives therapy from three distinguished psychologists of the time: Carl Rogers, Fritz Perls, and Albert Ellis.

    The therapy is limited since it’s only one session each, but you can get a good understanding of the radically different approaches by each therapist.

    You can watch each of the sessions here:

    Each of these videos reveals a different approach to therapy.

    Albert Ellis is most aligned with modern cognitive and rational-based approaches. Carl Rogers has a more gentle and humanistic approach. Fritz Perls has a direct and provocative approach (almost to the point of bullying).

    If I remember correctly, the patient Gloria felt the most comfortable with Rogers, but she actually went for a second session with Perls. I don’t know how to interpret that – it’s possible she felt “unfinished business” with Perls or she simply enjoyed arguing with him.

    None of this says anything about “successful therapy.” Just one session isn’t adequate to measure “success” vs. “failure” when it comes to a long-term process like self-growth. However, these examples will give you a taste for the different types of therapies out there.

    Ultimately, successful therapy depends on both therapist and patient. The most important factor is to have a healthy, working relationship and a “build together” attitude. Once you have that foundation, anything is possible.


    Stay updated on new articles and resources in psychology and self improvement:

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    Steven Handel

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  • Stop Lying and Start Being Radically Honest With Your Team | Entrepreneur

    Stop Lying and Start Being Radically Honest With Your Team | Entrepreneur

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    How often do you tell a lie? Chances are it’s not very often — at least not a lie that could harm someone. But how often do you fail to be honest with your spouse, employees, clients and perhaps most importantly, yourself? This is probably a little harder to quantify, because we do it all the time, whether it’s pasting on a smile to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, telling a client about only the best parts of your service or lying to yourself that you’ll do something later when you have no genuine intention of doing it.

    In my journey of leadership growth, I’ve discovered that although these little white lies might seem helpful at the moment, they sometimes do more harm than good. Once I was honest with myself about it, I realized I needed an alternative to telling little white lies. So what’s the solution? Radical honesty. It is a practice that challenges you to be honest in everything you do, with yourself and with others.

    Related: Authentic Leadership: What Is It and Why is it Important?

    When I first read about radical honesty in Brad Blanton’s book, I struggled with it. But I learned that being radically honest doesn’t mean that you’re brutally honest. You can tell the truth without being hurtful to others.

    Approaching every situation with radical honesty can help you become a better leader who’s known for your integrity and transform your business. Here are five ways to practice radical honesty in your leadership strategy.

    1. Make clearer judgments by separating observations from thoughts

    Honesty begins with observation. A simple exercise is to observe your physical sensations, your surroundings and your thoughts, then state what you’re observing aloud. Don’t make judgments about what you notice — allow these observations to be neutral.

    This exercise aims to help you learn to differentiate what you notice from what you think or feel about it. This helps you recognize your own biases and helps you view your experiences with a more objective lens. As you begin to understand yourself better by learning more about how you react to various situations, thoughts and feelings, you can use this information to think more clearly and make better judgments as a leader based on the truth rather than on your feelings in the moment.

    Related: Why You Should Care About Psychological Safety in the Workplace

    2. Own your truth to learn and grow

    Be honest with yourself first. Where are you lying to yourself? Learning to separate what you notice from your thoughts is critical to discovering your truth. For example, when you look in the mirror, you might tell yourself several lies based on your reaction to what you see. Maybe you’re lying to yourself that you’ll go to the gym tomorrow, or maybe you think that everyone will notice that one flaw you’re particularly insecure about. Internally, maybe you’re pretending to be someone different. What aspects of yourself have you suppressed, and are those areas where you can grow? We use lies to construct all sorts of narratives around ourselves, and regardless of if those lies make us feel better or worse, they allow us to deny the truth of who we are.

    When you discover a lie you’ve been telling yourself, confront it and learn from it. Owning your truth will allow you to see areas where you need to grow and also help you recognize your strengths as a person and a business leader. This leads to living with more authenticity. To be the happiest, best versions of ourselves, we must be authentic to who we are.

    3. Encourage honesty among your team

    Radical honesty is more than just being honest with yourself — you must also be honest with others. The best place to start is to share your truth: Admit to your mistakes. Be honest about what you’re proud of. Be more authentic in who you are in a variety of situations. Don’t keep secrets, especially from important people like your family and your key team members.

    Being open and honest within your business will set an example through leadership that will encourage others to also practice honesty. Creating an environment where people can be honest and authentic without fear of judgment is valuable for solid teamwork, problem-solving, conflict resolution and building trust. We’ve created a no-blame environment at our company. Building that culture begins with you — the leader.

    Practice honesty in every part of your leadership. Be open with your team about your management decisions and business performance, and take their feedback and ideas openly. When you have a conflict with someone, tell them in a kind and honest way what’s causing the problem. Focus on the problem and not the person. Find a resolution through clarity and kindness.

    Related: This Body-Language Expert’s ‘Triangle’ Method Will Help You Catch a Liar in the Act

    4. Find solutions more quickly

    Radical honesty is a powerful tool in the workplace for solving problems and resolving conflict. Of course, honesty must also be approached tactfully to avoid hurting the feelings of the individuals involved, but you can avoid a significant amount of miscommunication through radical honesty. It allows you to give kind and constructive feedback to others and directly address problems.

    Honesty during interpersonal conflicts can be particularly helpful — it ensures clear communication and keeps everyone involved from misinterpreting others’ feelings, thoughts or intentions. When you have a culture of honesty and authenticity where team members are unafraid of judgment, you allow room for better communication and conflict resolution.

    5. Establish trust with others

    Radical honesty goes a long way to establishing trust with your team, friends, family, clients and shareholders. Nobody wants to be deceived, and demonstrating that you’re willing to share even when you mess up will make people more willing to work with you in the future because they know that you have integrity.

    Being honest about both positives and negatives lets people know you are trustworthy and helps build rapport. For example, if you know you’re not the best fit for a client’s needs, referring them to a better fit will ensure they remember you as a trustworthy businessperson, and they might send their friends your way in the future.

    When radical honesty might not be beneficial as a leader

    Radical honesty can be a powerful tool for both personal and leadership growth, but it’s important to carefully consider when it is and isn’t appropriate to be radically honest. You want to foster a positive environment where you and your team can be authentic and open. Being honest doesn’t require you to share your every thought or opinion. Sometimes it’s best not to share what you’re thinking if it isn’t productive, could be hurtful or is fueled by your negative emotions in the moment.

    Related: How to Give Feedback Without Hurting Anyone’s Feelings

    As a business leader, your responsibility goes beyond achieving financial success. Creating a culture of radical honesty can lead to a more cohesive team, better communication and improved decision-making. Start by being honest with yourself and encouraging honesty among your team. Learn to separate your thoughts from observations and confront the lies you tell yourself. Practice honesty in every aspect of your leadership, including feedback and conflict resolution. Establishing trust with others is a key benefit of radical honesty, which can lead to more opportunities for growth and success. Be the best version of yourself: Take the first step today and commit to being radically honest in all your interactions.

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    Jason Hennessey

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