WASHINGTON—Having long sought to place a viable alternative to Donald Trump at the head of the party’s ticket, top GOP power brokers finally decided Thursday to rally behind the late Herman Cain for president in 2024. “After much discussion with my fellow Republicans, I have decided to back Herman Cain as our party’s presidential nominee,” Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said in an announcement that followed similar statements from candidates Ron DeSantis, Nikki Haley, Mike Pence, and Chris Christie, all of whom dropped out of the race to endorse the Covid-19 victim and former Godfather’s Pizza CEO. “Though some may raise concerns about his lack of prior electoral success and his current status as a deceased person, those are all merely distractions. A lot of people forget Mr. Cain was our party’s frontrunner in the 2012 race until he was sidelined by accusations of sexual misconduct, something that is no longer an impediment to a Republican seeking public office. And polls show swing voters and independents are more likely to see him as a sympathetic figure since his tragic death three years ago.” A Quinnipiac University Poll released earlier this week found that nine in 10 registered voters described Cain as only “slightly less alive” than President Joe Biden.
Tag: Herman Cain
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Revised AP African American Studies To Focus Mostly On Herman Cain’s Rise To Pizza CEO
NEW YORK—In a move designed to make the curriculum more palatable to conservatives, the College Board announced Thursday that its revised AP African American Studies course would focus mostly on Herman Cain’s rise to CEO of a pizza restaurant chain. “As of today, the newest iteration of the AP African American Studies curriculum will focus almost entirely on the life, accomplishments, and origins of businessman, pizza mogul, and Tea Party activist Herman Cain,” said College Board president Jeremy Singer, adding that while his organization had removed controversial aspects of the course that covered intersectionality, the Black Lives Matter movement, and slavery reparations, it had also added new ones about Cain’s humble beginnings as a boy in Georgia, his first big break at the Pillsbury Company, and his eventual appointment as CEO of Godfather’s Pizza. “Although the syllabus no longer includes the writings of Kimberlé Crenshaw, bell hooks, or Ta-Nehisi Coates, we have gone to great lengths to include Cain’s various writings about Burger King and his 9-9-9 tax plan, as well as an in-depth analysis of all his favorite pizza toppings. Herman Cain did so much for the Black community, and we are excited to offer American high school students a university-level course on the first Black man to become CEO of a major pizza company.” At press time, the College Board drew criticism for controversial sections of the AP African American Studies curriculum that repeatedly denied that Herman Cain had ever sexually harassed women or died of Covid.