Skin problems in dogs are no match for regular grooming with natural botanical healing and grooming products. Check out these seven tips and say hello to skin and coat health!
One of the most common challenges for dogs is skin and hair coat problems, like itching, hot spots, redness, dandruff, irritation, and hair coat loss. Allergies, infections, stress, nutrition, and other things can wreak havoc on a dog’s body. To address skin problems in dogs, you must treat the root cause and adopt a regular grooming routine. Today, we’ll cover seven tips that will help you nip these problems in the bud and tell you about essential oil-based healing and grooming products you should always keep on hand!
1. Adopt a Regular Grooming Schedule
Keeping your dog clean and well-groomed is one of the easiest ways to avoid skin problems. Regular brushing helps remove dirt, loose hair, and moisture that can lead to hot spots and fungal infections. For short-haired dogs, you can get away with brushing once or twice a week, but dogs with thick or long coats will likely require daily brushing.
2. Dry Their Coat After Swimming or Bathing
Moisture allows bacteria and fungi to grow, which can cause infections and irritation. Always dry your dog completely after baths, swimming, or rainy walks. And don’t forget to dry under the collar, behind the ears, between the toes, and under the legs.
3. Learn the Signs and Symptoms of Skin Problems
Itching, licking, redness, or a musty/yeasty odor are potential signs of an underlying skin issue. Catching these signs early can prevent them from developing into full-blown infections. If your dog is constantly scratching or licking one spot, inspect the area and talk to your veterinarian.
4. Use Products That Are Formulated for Dogs
Dogs have a different skin pH from other animals, which is why you generally shouldn’t use human shampoos or grooming products for them, unless your veterinarian recommends something specific. Instead, reach for Essential Canine’s naturally inspired grooming collection, crafted with gentle botanicals and pure essential oils that work in harmony with your dog’s skin and hair coat.
5. Clean Their Bedding and Bowls Regularly
Wash your dog’s bed/bedding every one to two weeks, clean food and water bowl daily, and vacuum often to reduce allergens, fungi, bacteria, and other irritants that can thrive in and around your dog’s stuff.
6. Feed a Healthy Diet
Good health starts with good nutrition. Feeding your dog a balanced diet rich in omega-3 and -6 fatty acids, vitamins A and E, zinc, and protein can help maintain healthy skin and coat.
7. Check in Regularly with Your Veterinarian
Take your dog for a check-up anytime they develop new symptoms. Skin issues can indicate allergies, parasites, or more serious health concerns, and it’s important to address the root cause as well as the symptoms.
Three Essential Products that Promote Skin and Coat Health Naturally!
Tea-Pro® wound spray, TZōN® hot spot and wound cream, and Private Reserve shampoo from Essential Canine are essential oil-based healing and grooming products that support skin and coat health. Formulated by a Veterinarian for dogs to help prevent and manage hot spots, fungal flare-ups, and irritated skin, the products are powered by nature’s best healing agents:
Peppermint oil
Comfrey oil
Goldenseal oil
Myrrh oil
Aloe vera oil
Australian tea tree oil
Jojoba oil
Calendula oil
These high-grade essential oils work in harmony to purify, soothe, and protect. They deliver powerful antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties that calm irritation, relieve discomfort, support natural healing, and promote a healthy, vibrant hair coat. Visit Essential Canine to learn more about how these potent botanicals can help you manage skin problems in dogs!
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Animal Wellness is North America’s top natural health and lifestyle magazine for dogs and cats, with a readership of over one million every year. AW features articles by some of the most renowned experts in the pet industry, with topics ranging from diet and health related issues, to articles on training, fitness and emotional well being.
Find a shady spot under a tree, take a breath of fresh air and call me in the morning.Health care providers have long suggested stressed-out patients spend time outdoors. Now, hundreds of providers are going a step further and issuing formal prescriptions to get outside. The tactic is gaining momentum as social media, political strife and wars abroad weigh on the American psyche.Of course, no one needs a prescription to get outside, but some doctors think that issuing the advice that way helps people take it seriously. “When I bring it up, it is almost like granting permission to do something they may see as frivolous when things seem so otherwise serious and stressful,” said Dr. Suzanne Hackenmiller, a Waterloo, Iowa, gynecologist who started issuing nature prescriptions after discovering time outdoors soothed her following her husband’s death. Spending time in natural areas can lower blood pressure, reduce stress hormones and boost immunity, multiple studies have found.”Study after study says we’re wired to be out in nature,” said Dr. Brent Bauer, who serves as director of the complementary and integrative medicine program at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. The program focuses on practices that usually aren’t part of conventional medicine, such as meditation, acupuncture, massage and nutrition. “That’s more than just ‘Woo-woo, I think nature is cool.’ There’s actually science.”Telling someone to go outside is one thing. The follow-through is something else. Starting about a decade ago, health care providers began formalizing suggestions to get outside through prescriptions.Dr. Robert Zarr, who doubles as a nature guide, launched an organization called Park Rx America around 2016, offering providers protocols for prescribing nature outings. The guidelines call for talking with patients about what they like to do outside — walking, sitting under a tree, maybe just watching leaves fall — how often to do it and where to go. That all then gets included in a prescription, and Park Rx America sends patients reminders.Nearly 2,000 providers have registered with the organization across the U.S. and a number of other countries, including Australia, Brazil, Cameroon and Spain. They’ve issued more than 7,000 nature prescriptions since 2019, said Dr. Stacy Beller Stryer, Park Rx America’s associate medical director. About 100 other organizations similar to Park Rx America have sprung up around the U.S., she said. Bauer specializes in treating CEOs and other business leaders. He said he issues about 30 nature prescriptions every year. The chief executives he treats sometimes don’t even know where to begin, and a prescription can give them a jump start, he said.”I recommend a lot of things to a lot of patients,” he said. “I’m not under the illusion all of them get enacted. When I get a prescription, someone hands me a piece of paper and says ‘you must take this medication’ … I’m a lot more likely to activate that.”Hackenmiller, the Iowa gynecologist, said she’s having more discussions with patients about getting outside as a means of escaping a world locked in perpetual conflict.”When so many things are out of our control, it can be helpful to step away from the media and immerse ourselves in nature,” she said. “I think time in nature often resonates with people as something they have found solace in and have gravitated to in other times in their life.” The effectiveness of nature prescriptions is unclear. A 2020 joint study by the U.S. Forest Service, the University of Pennsylvania and North Carolina State University concluded that more work was needed to gauge follow-through and long-term health outcomes. But unless you’re choking on wildfire smoke or swatting swarms of mosquitoes, getting outside — no matter what motivates you — can be helpful. At William & Mary college in Williamsburg, Virginia, students issue nature prescriptions to their peers. “Patients” obtain prescriptions by filling out online applications indicating how far they’ll travel to get to a park, times they can visit, whether they need a ride and favorite outdoor activities. Students issued an average of 22 online prescriptions per month in 2025, up from 12 per month in 2020.Kelsey Wakiyama, a senior, grew up hiking trails around her home in Villanova, Pennsylvania, with her family and their dog, Duke. When she started her first year in Williamsburg, she didn’t know where to walk. She saw an advertisement for nature prescriptions in the weekly student email and eventually got one that helped her find trails near campus.”I love the greenery,” Wakiyama said. “When you’re sitting inside — I was in the library for four hours today — the fresh air feels very nice. It calms my nervous system, definitely. I associate being outside with a lightness, a calmness, good memories. That kind of comes back to me when I’m outside.”
MADISON, Wis. —
Find a shady spot under a tree, take a breath of fresh air and call me in the morning.
Health care providers have long suggested stressed-out patients spend time outdoors. Now, hundreds of providers are going a step further and issuing formal prescriptions to get outside. The tactic is gaining momentum as social media, political strife and wars abroad weigh on the American psyche.
Of course, no one needs a prescription to get outside, but some doctors think that issuing the advice that way helps people take it seriously.
“When I bring it up, it is almost like granting permission to do something they may see as frivolous when things seem so otherwise serious and stressful,” said Dr. Suzanne Hackenmiller, a Waterloo, Iowa, gynecologist who started issuing nature prescriptions after discovering time outdoors soothed her following her husband’s death.
Spending time in natural areas can lower blood pressure, reduce stress hormones and boost immunity, multiple studies have found.
“Study after study says we’re wired to be out in nature,” said Dr. Brent Bauer, who serves as director of the complementary and integrative medicine program at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. The program focuses on practices that usually aren’t part of conventional medicine, such as meditation, acupuncture, massage and nutrition. “That’s more than just ‘Woo-woo, I think nature is cool.’ There’s actually science.”
Telling someone to go outside is one thing. The follow-through is something else. Starting about a decade ago, health care providers began formalizing suggestions to get outside through prescriptions.
Dr. Robert Zarr, who doubles as a nature guide, launched an organization called Park Rx America around 2016, offering providers protocols for prescribing nature outings. The guidelines call for talking with patients about what they like to do outside — walking, sitting under a tree, maybe just watching leaves fall — how often to do it and where to go. That all then gets included in a prescription, and Park Rx America sends patients reminders.
Nearly 2,000 providers have registered with the organization across the U.S. and a number of other countries, including Australia, Brazil, Cameroon and Spain. They’ve issued more than 7,000 nature prescriptions since 2019, said Dr. Stacy Beller Stryer, Park Rx America’s associate medical director. About 100 other organizations similar to Park Rx America have sprung up around the U.S., she said.
Bauer specializes in treating CEOs and other business leaders. He said he issues about 30 nature prescriptions every year. The chief executives he treats sometimes don’t even know where to begin, and a prescription can give them a jump start, he said.
“I recommend a lot of things to a lot of patients,” he said. “I’m not under the illusion all of them get enacted. When I get a prescription, someone hands me a piece of paper and says ‘you must take this medication’ … I’m a lot more likely to activate that.”
Hackenmiller, the Iowa gynecologist, said she’s having more discussions with patients about getting outside as a means of escaping a world locked in perpetual conflict.
“When so many things are out of our control, it can be helpful to step away from the media and immerse ourselves in nature,” she said. “I think time in nature often resonates with people as something they have found solace in and have gravitated to in other times in their life.”
The effectiveness of nature prescriptions is unclear. A 2020 joint study by the U.S. Forest Service, the University of Pennsylvania and North Carolina State University concluded that more work was needed to gauge follow-through and long-term health outcomes.
But unless you’re choking on wildfire smoke or swatting swarms of mosquitoes, getting outside — no matter what motivates you — can be helpful.
At William & Mary college in Williamsburg, Virginia, students issue nature prescriptions to their peers. “Patients” obtain prescriptions by filling out online applications indicating how far they’ll travel to get to a park, times they can visit, whether they need a ride and favorite outdoor activities.
Students issued an average of 22 online prescriptions per month in 2025, up from 12 per month in 2020.
Kelsey Wakiyama, a senior, grew up hiking trails around her home in Villanova, Pennsylvania, with her family and their dog, Duke. When she started her first year in Williamsburg, she didn’t know where to walk. She saw an advertisement for nature prescriptions in the weekly student email and eventually got one that helped her find trails near campus.
“I love the greenery,” Wakiyama said. “When you’re sitting inside — I was in the library for four hours today — the fresh air feels very nice. It calms my nervous system, definitely. I associate being outside with a lightness, a calmness, good memories. That kind of comes back to me when I’m outside.”
Adaptogens benefit dogs and cats in many ways. Here’s a look at four of the most important advantages and why it’s smart to include KSM-66 Ashwagandha in their diet!
Adaptogens are natural substances like herbs that help the body resist stress. They’re becoming increasingly popular among dog and cat parents, especially as science begins to learn about additional ways they naturally support pet health. One of the most powerful adaptogens is an ancient herb called ashwagandha. The most clinically studied ashwagandha—KSM-66 Ashwagandha—is the only one clinically proven for pets. Let’s look at four key ways adaptogens benefit dogs and cats and why food, treats, and supplements should feature KSM-66 Ashwagandha!
1. Adaptogens Regulate Cortisol and Reduce Stress
One of the key benefits of adaptogens is their ability to regulate the stress hormone cortisol. High cortisol levels can contribute to anxiety, digestive issues, and immune dysfunction. By balancing cortisol and other hormones, adaptogenic herbs such as ashwagandha help calm the nervous system and improve resilience to stress.
2. Adaptogenic Herbs Promote Healing and Restoration
Adaptogenic herbs help the body heal and repair itself. For example, ashwagandha supports tissue regeneration, promotes wound healing, and modulates inflammation, thereby speeding recovery from illness or injury.
3. They Help the Body Resist Oxidative Stress
Oxidative stress from free radicals contributes to aging, inflammation, and chronic disease. Adaptogens like ashwagandha are rich in antioxidants that neutralize free radicals and protect cells from damage, supporting long-term health and possibly helping to slow the progression of degenerative conditions.
4. Adaptogens Normalize Cellular Function
Adaptogens help the body on a cellular level, promoting cellular energy production and helping maintain homeostasis. That’s the body’s ability to maintain a stable internal environment with respect to temperature, pH levels, and fluid balance. Homeostasis is necessary for all vital functions, and imbalances can cause severe illness or worse. The balancing effect of adaptogens like ashwagandha helps all animals, especially ones with complex or chronic conditions.
Adaptogens Benefit Dogs and Cats, and KSM-66 Ashwagandha Is a Proven Choice!
Ashwagandha is a potent adaptogenic herb that promotes overall health and wellness in companion animals. It helps reduce stress, promote healing and restoration, combat oxidative stress, and normalize cellular function. KSM-66 Ashwagandha has 46 certifications for safety and efficacy and is clinically proven for pets to help manage inflammation and stress, support gut health, and promote healthy aging. It has a neutral taste that dogs and cats don’t mind, so it can be included in a variety of food, treats, and supplements.
Learn more about how adaptogens benefit dogs and cats, find out more about sustainable KSM-66 Ashwagandha, and discover pet products that feature it!
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Animal Wellness is North America’s top natural health and lifestyle magazine for dogs and cats, with a readership of over one million every year. AW features articles by some of the most renowned experts in the pet industry, with topics ranging from diet and health related issues, to articles on training, fitness and emotional well being.
What if the very hormone designed to help you survive is actually the reason you’re struggling to thrive?
My mother relentlessly saved and sacrificed so that she could enjoy her life in retirement. But two years into retirement, she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s.
Here’s what I’ve learned since becoming a Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner: she didn’t just “get” Alzheimer’s two years after retirement. It was building and building for years before that. She was making it worse with lifestyle choices: the over-exercising that women in their 40s and 50s often do, eating trans fats during the low-fat craze of the 80s and 90s.
Had I known what I know now, her outcome might have been different.
This is why I’m passionate about functional health. This is why thousands of practitioners are learning to identify and address the root causes of dysfunction before they become disease. If we can reach people in that gray space (when things are out of balance but before they become diagnosable conditions), we can change their trajectory. We can save lives.
As functional health practitioners, we see it every day: clients who’ve tried everything, followed every protocol, cleaned up their diet, and taken all the right supplements, yet they’re still stuck in that frustrating place of “I’m okay, but I’m not great.”
The missing piece? Understanding cortisol and its profound impact on every system in the body.
If you’ve ever wondered why some clients get amazing results while others plateau, or why you yourself might be experiencing symptoms that doctors dismiss as “normal aging,” this deep dive into cortisol will change everything.
What Is Wellness, Really?
Before we dive into cortisol, let’s get clear on what we’re actually working toward. At FDN, we don’t believe in “fine” or “okay.” We believe in abundant vitality.
Picture this as a spectrum:
The Right Side (The Medical Model): Symptoms → Sickness → Disease → Death
The Middle (Neutral Health): No symptoms, but no energy either. This is the “I’m fine, I guess” zone where most people live.
The Left Side (True Wellness): High energy, optimal function, metabolic fire, abundant vitality, joy for life.
Here’s the thing: neutral health equals a neutral life. When you’re operating from “I’m okay, I don’t have any complaints,” you’re not building empires, writing books, raising joyful kids, or showing up as your best self in relationships.
Good health, abundant vitality, is your birthright. It’s not just for the lucky few.
The Body’s Incredible Healing Power (And What’s Limiting It)
Your body is a self-healing machine. You know this because when you get a cut, it heals. When you break a bone, it mends. When you catch a cold, you recover.
But this healing ability isn’t infinite. If it were, we’d never age or die.
So what’s the difference between what your body can heal and what it can’t?
It’s a savings versus spending problem.
Think of your body as having a bank account called “Vital Reserve.” This is your innate intelligence: your body’s natural ability to function at 100% and fix imbalances before they become problems.
Where do you spend this precious currency? On your environment.
This has always been the case. Our paleolithic ancestors spent their Vital Reserve on not knowing if food would be available, dealing with harsh weather, avoiding predators, and navigating tribal conflicts.
Today? We spend it on mental-emotional stress, environmental toxins, and poor lifestyle habits that are constantly draining our account.
The main spender of Vital Reserve is stress.
The Modern Stress Problem: It’s Not What You Think
When most people think of stress, they picture this: work deadlines, traffic, relationship conflicts, financial pressure. And yes, these mental-emotional stressors are huge.
But there are two other categories most people completely miss:
Physical Stressors:
Sitting too long
Blue light exposure from screens
Too much coffee
Not exercising enough (or exercising too much)
Needing wine to fall asleep
Poor sleep quality
Environmental Stressors:
Depleted soils
EMF exposure
Chemicals in food, water, and air
Toxins our paleolithic ancestors never encountered
Plus, there’s the existential stress of modern life: What’s my purpose? How do I make my life meaningful when I’ll likely be forgotten in 100 years?
All of these are constantly withdrawing from your Vital Reserve account.
Meet Cortisol: Your Body’s “Energy on Credit” System
Cortisol is your primary stress hormone, and it’s actually designed to help you survive. When your environment throws stressors at you, cortisol says, “We need to put internal spending on hold and take all available resources to deal with this external threat.”
Cortisol breaks the body down for quick energy. We call this “catabolic.”
Why would your body have a mechanism for breaking itself down? Because sometimes you need energy RIGHT NOW. When your boss says, “This project is actually due in 30 minutes,” you can’t drive to the store, buy food, cook it, eat it, digest it, and then produce energy. You need quick fuel immediately.
So cortisol reaches for easy-to-break-down tissues like cartilage, tendons, connective tissue, and muscle, converting them to blood sugar.
Here’s the kicker: Cortisol is also a natural painkiller and anti-inflammatory. It masks the damage it’s doing, which is why it makes you feel amazing in the moment: clear thinking, quick reactions, pain-free movement.
Think of cortisol as your body’s credit card. You’re borrowing energy now and promising to pay it back later through rest, recovery, and healing.
When “Energy on Credit” Becomes a Problem
Throughout history, humans dealt with stress that was intense but occasional and short-lived. A wild animal attack, a natural disaster, a tribal conflict: these were serious but temporary.
Take a moment to think about this: Does this describe the stress in your life?
For most of us, stress is intense, constant, and never-ending. We wake up stressed, work stressed, drive home stressed, and lie in bed stressed about tomorrow’s stress.
This creates what we call “catabolic debt”: you’re constantly running up charges on your cortisol credit card without ever paying it back.
Chronic stress is not within our biological design.
Consider this: Anthropological studies show paleolithic humans worked only 15-20 hours per week. How many of you work only 15-20 hours per week? (And remember, “work” includes housework, childcare, and all the other responsibilities that don’t stop when you leave the office.)
They lived in close communities with cooperative resource sharing and had each other’s backs. Think about your own life: Do you know your neighbors? If you do, would they really have your back if things got serious?
Most of us are duplicating resources instead of sharing them. We’re all figuring out our own childcare, making our own meals, maintaining our own everything. There’s no interdependence, no shared load.
The cost of modern life is enormous:
70-80% of doctor visits are for stress-related illnesses
People with high anxiety are 4-5 times more likely to die from heart attack or stroke
Stress contributes to 50% of all illnesses
The Stress Response Curve: Your Roadmap to Understanding Where You Are
This is where it gets really interesting. Understanding this curve will change how you see your health (and your clients’ health) forever.
We all start in the green zone: Homeostasis. When you experience occasional stressors, cortisol and adrenaline spike, you handle the situation, then return to baseline to rest and repair.
But when stress becomes chronic, you move into the orange zone: Acute Stress. You’re constantly producing cortisol and adrenaline, never returning to homeostasis.
Here’s the thing: on your way up this curve, you feel AMAZING. Remember when you could pull all-nighters and still ace exams? When you could eat junk food without consequences? When you had laser focus for 12-16 hours straight?
That’s the acute phase. You’re running on cortisol, and it feels like superpowers.
Then you hit Peak Production. Your body says, “We’ve put way too much on the cortisol credit card. We have to cut back.”
Now you fall into the Compensatory Phase. Your cortisol numbers might look normal to a doctor, but the distribution is all wrong. Maybe you have too much in the morning and crash by afternoon, or you spike at night and can’t sleep.
Plus, you have a relativity problem. You’re used to feeling like Superman from the acute phase, so normal cortisol levels feel terrible by comparison.
Continue down this path, and you reach the Exhaustive Phase. Like a phone on low battery mode, everything still works but at 30% capacity and not for long. You’re devoting everything to just getting through the day.
The Hidden Cost: What Happens to Your Body’s Core Systems
At FDN, we focus on six foundational systems that chronic stress systematically shuts down. We call them the H-I-D-D-E-N systems, and understanding what happens to each one under chronic stress is crucial for practitioners:
H – Hormones DHEA is your anabolic hormone: the one responsible for building you back up after cortisol breaks you down. This is how you pay off your cortisol credit card. But when stress is constant, DHEA steps back and says, “I’ll come back when it’s safe to focus internally, but right now we need to keep spending on the environment.” DHEA becomes chronically low, which means your healing potential becomes chronically low.
Then sex hormones get the message: “We don’t have enough resources to fund fertility right now.” Sex hormones plummet, taking motivation and joy for life with them. This is when you get to that neutral state where you’re thinking, “I have dreams I want to pursue, but it’s just too much effort. I’ll just watch Netflix instead.”
I – Immune Your immune system is expensive to run. Under chronic stress, it says, “I cost a ton of money, so I’m going to operate at 30% capacity and not for very long.” Now you’re getting sick often, it takes forever to heal, you can’t shake that cough, and if anyone around you is sick, you know you’re going down.
D – Digestion Digestion costs a lot of energy to function properly. When you’re spending everything on stress, digestion goes into low-power mode. Now you’re only digesting at 30% capacity. Even if you’re eating the cleanest diet in the world, you can’t use it. You’re not getting the building blocks to repair or the nutrients your body needs to power metabolic functions at full capacity.
D – Detoxification Detoxification is another huge system that’s expensive to run. When your body’s bank account is overdrawn from cortisol debt, detox says, “I don’t have enough money to find these toxins, bind them up, and effectively remove them. So I’ll put them in storage instead.” Your body shoves toxins into fat cells, brain tissue, and bones, creating a toxic backlog that makes you feel slow, gives you acne, throws off digestion, and impairs hormone production.
E – Energy Production Your mitochondria can’t function optimally when all resources are diverted to stress response. This leads to that “tired but wired” feeling where you’re exhausted but can’t actually rest.
N – Nervous System Sleep, mood, and cognitive function all suffer. This is where we see the brain fog, insomnia, anxiety, and depression that so many people struggle with.
The fundamental principle of FDN: These systems don’t operate in isolation. You can’t just say, “Oh, you have classic hormone symptoms, so let’s run a hormone test.” You miss immunity, digestion, detoxification: all the other systems contributing to what we call “Metabolic Chaos.”
This is why the “take this supplement for that symptom” approach rarely works long-term. You’re not dealing with isolated problems: you’re dealing with systemic dysfunction where multiple systems are compromised simultaneously.
Real-Life Case Studies: The Stress Curve in Action
Let’s look at three real clients to see how this plays out. As FDN practitioners, we use what we call “clinical correlation,” which means we never look at lab numbers in isolation. We always consider how someone feels alongside their test results.
Case Study 1: Adam – The Acute Phase Crash
Profile: 35-year-old male, broker at a mid-size investment firm, former athlete still crushing CrossFit workouts
Symptoms: Weight gain, trouble concentrating, loss of muscle mass despite rigorous workouts, headaches
Doctor’s Assessment: “Your results are unremarkable. This is normal aging.”
Lab Results:
Cortisol sum: 9 (acute phase)
Four-point pattern: Way too high in morning, drops low at noon, crashes severely in afternoon, bounces back up at night
The Reality: How do we know Adam isn’t on the left side of the stress curve going up into acute phase? His symptoms tell us everything. If he were on the way up, he’d feel amazing and wouldn’t be in our office. Instead, he’s on the right side coming down from peak production.
His cortisol pattern explains everything: sky-high morning cortisol makes him feel wired and anxious, the afternoon crash leaves him unable to concentrate (not ideal for an investment broker), and the nighttime spike disrupts his sleep.
Even though his DHEA looks “normal,” when we compare it to his cortisol level of 9, he’s clearly catabolic dominant. He’s breaking down faster than he’s building up, which explains why his intense CrossFit sessions aren’t building muscle: they’re just adding more stress to an already overloaded system.
The Reality: Caitlyn’s cortisol sum looks normal, but the distribution is completely dysfunctional. She can barely drag herself out of bed in the morning, crashes hard in the afternoon (imagine trying to accurately record legal proceedings when your cortisol is plummeting), and lies awake at night because her cortisol spikes just when it should be lowest.
She also has a relativity problem. When she was in the acute phase, she felt like Superman. Now that she’s in compensatory with “normal” cortisol levels, she feels terrible by comparison. Her DHEA is low, confirming she’s still in catabolic debt despite the lower cortisol numbers.
Case Study 3: Maggie – The Exhaustive Phase Crisis
Profile: 43-year-old chef at a popular five-star restaurant, diagnosed with hypothyroid
Symptoms: Weight gain in hips and belly, trouble keeping up at work, depression, irregular menstrual cycle
Lifestyle: Working 60+ hours per week, consistently sleeping only 5 hours per night
Medical Status: Seeing a counselor, considering antidepressant medication
Lab Results:
Cortisol sum: 3.1 (exhaustive phase)
Four-point pattern: Way too low in morning, drops low at noon, slight bounce in afternoon, drops again at night
DHEA: Very low
Clinical correlation: Still catabolic dominant despite low cortisol
The Reality: Maggie’s body is operating like a phone on low battery mode: everything still works, but at 30% capacity and not for long. Her thyroid has downregulated because there’s literally not enough energy in the system to maintain normal function.
The depression isn’t just psychological: it’s physiological. Her body can’t afford to fund optimal brain function. Even though her cortisol is very low and her DHEA is very low, she’s still cortisol dominant and in catabolic debt.
This is why understanding the stress curve is so crucial. Three people, three different phases, three different approaches needed.
The Path Forward: Why Understanding Cortisol Changes Everything
Here’s why this matters for you as a health practitioner:
1. It explains why some clients plateau. If you’re not addressing the stress component, you’ll hit a ceiling on healing no matter how perfect the diet or supplement protocol.
2. It validates your clients’ experiences. When someone says, “I used to be able to handle so much more,” or “I don’t feel like myself anymore,” you now understand the physiology behind it.
3. It gives you a roadmap for intervention. Different phases require different approaches. Someone in the acute phase needs different support than someone in the exhaustive phase.
4. It highlights the importance of comprehensive testing. A single cortisol measurement tells you almost nothing. You need the full pattern plus clinical correlation.
The FDN Approach: Test, Don’t Guess
At FDN, we don’t just talk about stress: we measure it. We use what we call “clinical correlation,” which means we never look at lab numbers in isolation. We always consider how someone feels alongside their test results.
We look at:
Four-point cortisol patterns throughout the day (not just a single measurement)
DHEA levels and the cortisol-to-DHEA ratio
How stress is affecting all the H-I-D-D-E-N systems
The complete picture of metabolic chaos
Progress tracking with tools like the Metabolic Chaos Scorecard
Then we address it systematically through our DRESS protocol:
D – Diet: Personalized nutrition based on lab findings, not generic “healthy eating” advice
R – Rest: Sleep optimization and recovery strategies tailored to your stress phase
E – Exercise: Right-sized movement for your current capacity (over-exercise is just as harmful as under-exercise)
S – Stress Reduction: Targeted techniques for your specific stressors: mental/emotional, physical, environmental, and lifestyle factors
S – Supplementation: Targeted support based on actual lab results, not guesswork
This isn’t about generic protocols. It’s about understanding exactly where someone is on the stress curve and what their body needs to heal.
Key Takeaways for Health Practitioners
Cortisol isn’t the enemy. A lot of people talk about cortisol as if it’s the villain—commercials make it sound like cortisol just makes you “old and fat.” That’s not what cortisol does. Cortisol is a vital hormone for navigating stress. The problem is chronic stress disrupting its natural rhythm.
Understanding the stress curve is diagnostic gold. It explains why clients feel the way they do and gives you a framework for intervention. Different phases require different approaches.
Clinical correlation is everything. You can’t just look at lab numbers in isolation. A cortisol sum of 5 might be “normal” to a doctor, but if your client feels terrible and the distribution is dysregulated, that tells you the real story.
You can’t ignore stress and expect lasting results. No matter how perfect your diet protocol or how targeted your supplements, chronic stress will cap healing potential. There’s a ceiling you’ll never break through if you don’t address the stress component.
The body’s systems are interconnected. You can’t just “fix hormones” without addressing how stress is affecting immunity, digestion, detoxification, and all the other H-I-D-D-E-N systems. This is why comprehensive testing and systematic protocols are crucial.
Metabolic Chaos requires a systematic approach. When multiple systems are compromised simultaneously, you need a framework like DRESS that addresses all aspects of healing, not just isolated symptoms.
Your Next Steps
If you’re ready to master functional lab testing and learn how to identify and address cortisol dysregulation in your practice, FDN provides the training, community, and ongoing support you need.
Because here’s the truth: your clients deserve more than “fine.” They deserve abundant vitality. And you deserve the confidence that comes from knowing exactly how to help them achieve it.
When you understand cortisol (really understand it), you hold the key to unlocking transformation for every client who walks through your door.
Ready to become the practitioner who always knows what to do next?
The answer lies in data-driven functional health. The answer lies in understanding that robust health isn’t just about the absence of symptoms: it’s about the presence of vitality.
And it starts with the hormone you can’t ignore: cortisol.
Want to learn more about becoming a Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner?
Discover how our comprehensive training program gives you the tools to master cortisol testing, interpretation, and protocols that get results. Because when you know how to test, you never have to guess. View an indepth case study here.
Take a deep dive into the therapeutic relationship as illustrated in the classic film Good Will Hunting, where a defiant genius and a compassionate therapist confront pain, grief, and regret in an emotional journey that changes them both.
Good Will Hunting (1997) is a widely acclaimed cinematic masterpiece, offering one of the most compelling depictions of therapy ever portrayed on screen — and it remains one of my personal favorite movies of all time.
The main protagonist is Will Hunting (played by Matt Damon) who is portrayed as an underachieving genius who works a modest life as a janitor at the prestigious MIT. Despite his intelligence, he’s emotionally guarded and frequently gets into brawls and run-ins with the law. One day he solves a difficult math equation on a chalkboard and is then approached by professors and faculty to pursue his talents in mathematics, but first he has to see a therapist and work out his personal problems.
Will’s journey into therapy begins reluctantly with a typical “I don’t need to see a shrink” attitude. But after a series of arrests and getting bailed out, he’s court-ordered to start seeing someone. He cycles through five therapists, including a hypnotist, antagonizing each one to the point that they refuse to work with him. Will’s sharp intellect and deep emotional defenses make it nearly impossible for anyone to break through and connect with him.
Finally he meets Sean Maguire (played by Robin Williams), a compassionate but no-nonsense therapist with a rich life of experiences, including deep wounds from his past, and accumulated wisdom. This article breaks down their relationship, session by session, to explore how it evolved throughout the film and potential lessons we can takeaway from it.
First Meeting: Tensions and Boundary Testing
Will’s first meeting with Sean begins with his usual strategy of intellectual dominance and boundary testing.
He scans Sean’s office, searching for things to criticize, and immediately targets his book collection. “You people baffle me. You spend all this money on beautiful, fancy books, and they’re the wrong f***ing books.” Sean, unfazed, spars back, standing his ground while playfully naming books he assumes Will has read.
Things reach a climax in the scene when Will begins to mock a painting hanging on the wall, which hits a personal nerve for Sean regarding the grief and loss of his wife. Sean’s reaction is striking and unconventional. After listening patiently, he suddenly grabs Will by the throat and threatens him: “If you ever disrespect my wife again, I will end you.”
While it’s an unethical move for a therapist, this unorthodoxy shows Will that he is not dealing with an ordinary therapy. Both Will and Sean share working class Irish backgrounds in the hard streets of Boston. Sean knows this language and he is willing to speak it if it’s the only way to get through to Will. Sean thus establishes himself as someone who understands Will’s world, where strength and confrontation often dominate.
This moment lays the foundation for their relationship. Sean shows he’s human, not just a clinical professional, but also that he won’t be intimidated or dismissed by Will’s antics. It’s the first step in breaking down Will’s defenses.
The Bench Scene: A Turning Point
After their intense first meeting, Sean invites Will to a park, where he delivers one of the most memorable monologues in the film. Sean begins by admitting his vulnerability, sharing that Will’s comments about the painting kept him up all night and genuinely bothered him.
By admitting Will’s comments hurt him, Sean shows he’s willing to show weakness, but then he sharply pivots to challenge Will directly, “But then you know what occurred to me? You’re just a kid. You don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about.”
Sean goes on to explain that despite Will’s intellectual brilliance, he lacks lived experience. Sean shares personal moments that defined him — seeing the Sistine Chapel in person, being truly in love with someone, the scars of losing friends in war, and watching a loved one die of cancer. These deep experiences illustrate the limitations of knowledge without life. Sean’s speech is a blend of tough love and empathy, forcing Will to confront the gap between his intellectual defenses and his emotional reality.
The bench scene sets the tone for the remainder of their therapy. Sean acknowledges Will’s brilliance but challenges him to live beyond books and theories. Sean leaves the door open for Will to continue having sessions with him only if he is ready to truly open up.
Second Therapy Session: Silence
The next therapy session begins with complete silence as Sean and Will sit across from each other. After two emotionally charged meetings and still lingering tensions, neither is willing to be the first to reach out or break the quiet.
The entire hour goes by and neither says a word. While this may feel like an unproductive session, this is another important moment in their relationship. The power of silence acts as a reset button in their relationship.
Sometimes, simply sitting in the same room without confrontation (“sharing space”) can be a meaningful step toward healing. It allows both Sean and Will to recalibrate, setting the stage for a more productive dynamic moving forward.
Third Therapy Session: Humor and Opening Up
The silence stand-off continues into their third session, with each still not willing to budge or say the first word.
Finally Will breaks the silence with a dirty joke, immediately breaking the tensions in the room and reinitiating conversation in a fun and light-hearted way. After they share a laugh, Will begins to open up about a girl he’s been dating recently. Will mentions how he worries the girl is “too perfect,” and that getting to know her more would just shatter that illusion. Sean wisely responds back, “That’s a super philosophy, that way you can go through your entire life without ever really getting to know anybody.”
Sean opens up about his wife and the quirks behind their love, like her farting in her sleep and waking up the dog. After all these years, these are the little moments he remembers and cherishes about her. No one is “perfect,” and it’s often the imperfections that make someone special to us.
Robin Williams improvised the story about his wife causing Matt Damon to genuinely burst out into laughter during this scene.
After more light-hearted banter, Will turns the tables and ask why Sean never got remarried. Will firmly replies, “My wife is dead.” Then Will, always testing and challenging, uses one of Sean’s lines against him: “That’s a super philosophy, that way you can go through your entire life without ever really getting to know anybody.”
Fourth Therapy Session: Love, Opportunities, and Regrets
Now on much more amicable terms, Will opens up with an honest question, “Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you never met your wife?”
Sean accepts that there’s been a lot of pain and suffering in his relationship, but he doesn’t regret any of it, because the good moments were worth it and he wouldn’t trade a single day with her through good or bad times. Will presses to learn more, “When did you know she was the one?”
“October 21, 1975.”
It was game six of the World Series, the biggest game in Red Sox history – and Sean slept on the sidewalk all night with friends to get tickets. He recalls the momentous occasion when the Red Sox hit a game-winning home run and everyone rushed the field.
“Did you rush the field?”
“Hell no, I wasn’t there. I was in a bar having a drink with my future wife.”
The story illustrates how Sean knew his wife was the one when he was willing to miss the opportunity of a life-changing moment (being at a historical sporting event) for an even bigger life-changing moment (finding love and his future wife).
Will is incredulous and yells at Sean for missing the game. He asks, “How did your friends let you get away with that?” And Will simply replies, “I just slid my ticket across the table and said, ‘Sorry guys, I gotta see about a girl.’”
Fifth Therapy Session: Facing Potential and Values
In this session, Will begins to ask deep questions about what he wants to do with the rest of his life and what are the best uses of his intelligence and talents.
After a job interview with the NSA, Will goes into a diatribe about how his talents could be hypothetically used for catastrophic consequences, like overthrowing foreign governments, destabilizing entire countries, or getting his friends sent to fight some war overseas.
Sean asks him directly, “What are you passionate about? What do you want?”
They discuss the honor of work, including construction work and Will’s job as a janitor and the pride he takes in it, even though society may not view it as the most rewarding job in the world. Sean prods further asking why he chose to be a janitor at the most prestigious technical university in the world, and why he secretly finished math problems, highlighting that there may be something else driving Will.
Sean asks again what Will wants to do with his life, and he deflects by joking that he wants to be a shepherd on his own plot of land away from the world. Sean isn’t willing to waste his time and decides to end the session early. Will has a final outburst before leaving, “You’re lecturing me on life? Look at you, you burnout!”
This session reveals how Will is afraid of his potential and talents, including the responsibility that comes with them. “I didn’t ask to be born like this.” He feels safe continuing to live in his hometown, work his everyday job, and hangout with his childhood friends. He’s afraid to dream bigger. There may be something deeper driving Will’s thirst for knowledge, but he doesn’t know his core values and motivations, and doesn’t truly know himself or what he wants out of life.
Sixth Therapy Session: “It’s Not Your Fault”
The next therapy session begins with Sean uncovering more about Will’s painful past, particularly his life as an orphan and the physical abuse he endured with his foster parents. Sean reveals that he, too, grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father, forging another shared bond between them.
As their conversation unfolds, Will correctly guesses that his final psychological report likely diagnoses him with “attachment issues” and a “fear of abandonment.” He acknowledges that these issues may have driven him to push his girlfriend away, leading to their recent breakup. When Sean gently asks if he wants to talk about it, Will declines.
Sean then shifts the focus, holding onto the reports as he says, “I don’t know a lot. But you see this? All this shit? It’s not your fault.”
At first, Will politely agrees, brushing off the comment, but Sean repeats the line: “It’s not your fault.” With each repetition, Will’s emotional defenses begin to crumble, and he cycles through a range of emotions—politeness, confusion, anger, and aggression—until the weight of Sean’s words fully sinks in. Overwhelmed, Will finally breaks down and cries, releasing years of suppressed pain and guilt.
In this profoundly cathartic moment, Sean embraces Will, offering the safe and empathetic connection that has been absent from Will’s life. It’s a turning point where Will confronts his past without blame or self-judgment, finally opening the door to acceptance and healing.
Last Goodbye
In their last meeting, Will thanks Sean for all of his help and shares the good news that he has accepted an exciting new job. Sean, in turn, reveals his plans to travel and explore life on his own terms. They exchange numbers to keep in touch, symbolizing the respect and connection they’ve built.
This moment underscores that therapy is often a chapter in life that prepares individuals to continue their journeys independently. Both Will and Sean needed to say their goodbyes and go their separate ways to continue following their paths in life. Will has learned to face his fears and embrace his potential. Sean has rediscovered purpose and fulfillment through helping Will. Their goodbye is bittersweet but profound, a reminder that growth often requires letting go and moving forward.
In the final scene, Will leaves a letter at Sean’s place that reads, “If the professor calls about that job, just tell him sorry—I had to go see about a girl.” This moment beautifully exemplifies Will’s newfound courage to follow his heart and take meaningful risks.
Conclusion
The therapeutic relationship between Sean and Will in Good Will Hunting is a masterclass in storytelling and psychology. Through humor, vulnerability, and mutual respect, Sean helps Will break through years of pain and fear, while Will reignites Sean’s passion for life. Their journey is a powerful testament to the transformative potential of therapy — and how creating a space of acceptance, healing, and growth can change lives.
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Ugh, it’s cold and flu season again. Which means I’m busy making all sorts of herbal home remedies to keep me and my family as healthy as possible. Whether you are already sick or are simply trying to keep your immunity strong, this Echinacea tincture is your best friend right now.
Whether you have been growing Echinacea in your garden or have seen that unmistakable purple coneflower on the bottle of every cold and flu remedy on the shelf, you may have been wondering how exactly to take Echinacea as an herb. I know I wondered that myself.
I have been to multiple herbal medicine talks that have Echinacea at the top of the list for helping folks cope with cold and flu season, whether it is to help with the symptoms when you are sick or to keep viruses from setting up camp in your body in the first place. Echinacea is said to be a powerful immune-system herb without known side effects and is considered safe for children. No wonder it’s so darn popular!
It can be hard to know exactly how to prepare and take Echinacea for health, but this Echinacea Root and Flower Tincture is simple to prepare and use.
Healing Herbal Infusions
I grow a ton of Echinacea varieties in my garden as it is one of my absolute favourite garden perennials. I recently wrote an All About Echinacea growing and care guide and showed off a ton of coneflower eye candy. This year I harvested and dried a bunch of flowers to stock up for the coming winter and get ready to learn some more on how to use it.
Healing Herbal Infusions is full of easy-to-follow instructions and beautiful photography for natural plant-based remedies. Making infusions can feel a bit daunting when you are first beginning, but this book shows you how easy it is to do at home. The recipes have a wide variety of techniques and herbal ingredients, so after you have tried them you will be off and running with your own creations in no time. Colleen has joined us today to share her Echinacea Root and Flower Tincture recipe!
Echinacea Root and Flower Tincture
by Colleen Codekas
Almost everyone these days has heard of Echinacea, as it has become a rather popular herbal remedy. Echinacea is excellent for boosting the immune system, and it has been proven to shorten the duration of colds and flus.
It’s also a gorgeous flower to grow in your garden that serves double duty: beauty in your yard and wellness in your home. This tincture is simple to make, and it uses both the root and the flower, making it even more beneficial!
½ cup (20 g) dried whole Echinacea flowers and/or leaves
1½ cups (360 ml) neutral spirits, such as vodka
Make It!
Combine the Echinacea root, flowers, and spirits in a pint-size (473 ml) jar. Cover the jar with a lid and shake to mix well. Put the jar in a cool and dark place to infuse for 4 to 6 weeks. When ready to use, strain out the herbs using a fine-mesh sieve. Store the tincture in small bottles with droppers for easy use.
Take 1 teaspoon (5 ml) 2 to 3 times per day at the first sign of a cold or flu for the most benefit. It can be taken straight or mixed into water or tea if you prefer.
For children and those wishing to avoid alcohol, use Elderberry & Echinacea Glycerite for Colds & Flus (find this on page 186 of Healing Herbal Infusions), or you can make this same tincture with vegetable glycerine instead of the neutral spirits.
Tip: it’s okay if you don’t have the Echinacea flowers or leaves to add to this recipe. The root is very medicinal on its own and is easy to locate in most places that carry dried herbs.
FAQ About Echinacea Tinctures
Would you use the whole flower or just the petals?
You can use all parts of the echinacea plant, including the flower heads, petals, leaves, and roots. In fact, the root is very medicinal on its own.
How should I store the tincture?
Keep them in a sealed bottle and in a cool, dark place out of direct sunlight. They should last for several years.
Can I use fresh or dried herbs to make a tincture?
You can use either for a tincture, as the alcohol will pull out the active ingredients in the plant and help preserve them.
Healing Herbal Infusions contains 74 more homemade treatments, so this is just the beginning. It will be my go-to resource to support my entire family’s wellness the all-natural way.
About the Author
Colleen Codekas lives with her husband, Joel, and their son, Sawyer, in the beautiful Rogue Valley of Southern Oregon, where they have created a mini permaculture paradise. Due to her desire to live in the most natural way possible, she began studying herbs and herbal medicine nearly 20 years ago. Living and working in Yosemite National Park for 10 years, many of those spent in the high-elevation paradise of Tuolumne Meadows, solidified a yearning to be surrounded by nature on a daily basis. Learning to correctly identify wild plants, particularly those that were edible and medicinal, became a new hobby while living in the wilderness and has carried over into her more “traditional” life now. In recent years, Colleen has completed several herbalism courses through the Herbal Academy and continues to teach people what she knows through her blog Grow Forage Cook Ferment. When she isn’t busy writing for her blog or making things for her Etsy shop, Coco’s Herbals, she likes to go foraging for wild edible and medicinal plants and mushrooms. She also enjoys hiking, cooking delicious food, drinking wine, making mead, growing a ridiculous amount of herbs and flowers, and making all kinds of herbal goodness in jars.
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Echinacea Root and Flower Tincture
This echinacea tincture is perfect for cold and flu season, helping to boost your immunity.
Cook Time30 minutesmins
Infusing time28 daysd
Total Time28 daysd30 minutesmins
Keyword: echinacea tincture
Author: Colleen Codekas
½cupdried echinacea root
½cupdried whole echinacea flowers and/or leaves
1 ½cupsneutral spirits, such as vodka
Combine your echinacea root, flowers, and leaves with the spirits in a pint-sized jar. Seal the jar and shake it to mix.
Place the jar in a cool, dark place and let it infuse for 4-6 weeks.
Once ready, strain the herbs out using a fine-mesh sieve or cheesecloth.
Store tincture in a small bottle with a dropper for easy use. Take 1 tsp 2-3 times a day at the first sign of cold or flu.
Canine trauma is a common issue that’s unique to each individual dog. Every dog will perceive and process experiences differently, but it’s important to know the causes, effects, and how to help a dog through trauma.
Canine trauma is an internal response caused by distressing external events. The impact compromises the dog’s perceived level of safety, creates internal disruption and discord, and sets the stage for a tricky road ahead for many. Although trauma won’t happen to every dog, pet parents can prepare themselves by learning about what canine trauma is and how to help dogs through it.
What Is Canine Trauma and How Does It Happen?
Despite what many believe, trauma is not the actual event. It’s not the circumstance or the occurrence. Rather, trauma is how the event or circumstance isinternalized. Dogs are a social species of animal and are wired for connection, and trauma rewires them for protection. Trauma removes a dog’s sense of safety, peace, security, joy, and confidence. This directly alters their self and world perceptions, beliefs, and associations.
While the individual determines what’s traumatic, trauma-causing events include:
Physical abuse
Neglect
Mistreatment
Being attacked by another dog or animal
Living in isolation
Natural calamities
Unexpected accidents
Abandonment
Living with emotionally and mentally unstable people
Their needs going unmet and unprovided for
How Trauma Manifests in Dogs
Identifying trauma in dogs can be difficult, as it often gets overshadowed by other behaviors and misinterpreted by people. Although trauma expresses itself in a myriad of ways, the more common signs include:
An overactive defense drive (e.g. fight, flight, freezing up, hoodwinking, and avoidance)
Odd or excessive vocalization
Hypervigilance
Changes in appetite and digestive issues
Self-isolation and hiding
Easily triggered and reactive (while dogs don’t live in the past, trauma gets stored in the body and can often get activated through associations and memories)
Depression
Physically trying to make themselves smaller (lowering and flattening the ears, averting the eyes, tucking the tail, rounding the back and lowering to the ground)
Helping a Dog Navigate and Heal from Trauma
Canine trauma is complex and requires a patient, consistent, holistic behavioral approach that replenishes their sense of safety, trust, and confidence. For starters, it’s critical to maintain a consistent, structured routine to create a level of predictability and certainty. That includes creating and sticking to routines around their wake time, relief, feeding, structured walking (a fundamental part of the trust and healing process), exercise, and sleep.
Keeping your own emotions in check and maintaining a calm and patient approach are also of utmost importance, as dogs are looking to us for cues on how to feel. Never force, push, or rush a dog through the rebuilding and healing process. Slow and steady wins this race.
Consistency, need-meeting, and dependability are canine love languages, especially for those navigating trauma. This includes:
Consistently showing up with stable energy
Following through
Meeting the dog’s essential, individual, and breed-specific needs
This combination provides much-needed reassurance for dogs who are struggling and builds your level of dependability, safety, trust, and relevance in the dog’s eyes. It’s not what you say, it’s what you do.
Although every dog’s healing journey is as unique and individual as they are, these things work together to create the foundation needed for the rest of their healing journey.
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Kimberly Artley is an Author, Digital Course Creator, and CEO of Pack Fit Dog Training and Behavior, and has been described as the “Mary Poppins of Dog Training”. Her background in human health, psychology and behavior blends seamlessly with her work in canine health, psychology, and behavior to offer the most effective and comprehensive approach to a wide spectrum of canine behavioral challenges. If you’d like to find out more about energy in dog training, check out her newest masterclass Training the Strong Energy Dog.
You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.
Healthy Step #1.Take the time you need to heal
When a relationship ends, you’ll need some time to process and reflect on what happened.
Sometimes you know why it ended and sometimes, you really don’t.
To get a clearer perspective of what happened, you’ll want to ask yourself a couple of questions that will help you to understand what went well and what went awry in the relationship so you can recognize it and not repeat it in the future.
1. What did I love about this man and the relationship?
2. What didn’t I love about both him and the relationship?
3. What do I wish could have been different?
4. What was my role in the relationship that contributed to the breakup?
5. What are the lessons I learned from being with this man?
6. What qualities from this man and this relationship would I like to take into my next one?
Healthy Step #2. Be really kind to yourself right now
Try these pampering, fun ways to lift your spirits while you’re in the healing process.
Treat yourself to a beautiful new journal and write down on paperall of the emotions you’re experiencing. This will bring clarity to your situation and will help you release a lot of the anger, sadness and grief you are feeling.
It’s nice during a sad time to have some one take care of you and make you feel momentarily better. Get a relaxing massage to release both the emotional and physical toxins from your body, or pet your dog, or ask a friend for a good hug. You could probably use lots of them right now.
Head out with a friend to your favorite restaurant and over lunch or dinner process the relationship and the breakup. You’ll feel loved and supported by someone who really cares about you.
Make or buy your favorite comfort food. Whether it’s macaroni and cheese or a certain cookie your mom used to make . . . it will momentarily take you back to warm and fuzzier times.
Watch old TV shows or movies that make you laugh. You know what they say . . . laughter is the best medicine.
If you are up to it, volunteer somewhere or offer to assist a friend with a project. Helping others can make you feel better and take your mind off your own troubles for a bit.
Everything can feel really blue after a breakup so consider starting a gratitude journal and write down 3 wonderful things you are grateful for today . . . even if it’s the sky is a beautiful blue or my dog loves me. It’s going to keep you grounded. And it will help you counter some of the sadness that can be overwhelming for you right now by reminding you that good things are still happening around you.
Healthy Step #3. Allow yourself to grieve and mourn the end of a relationship
Don’t hold back.
Let the tears flow.
It’s healthy, it’s a release and it will ultimately help you heal.
Should the sadness get too heavy, get support from a counselor or a trusted friend to help you cope.
Healthy Step #4. Wait to date until you’ve healed
It’s tempting to substitute one man for another but it rarely works.
When you don’t take the time you need to reflect and heal before dating again, you end up bringing open wounds – better known as baggage from your past – into a new relationship.
You’ll know when the time is right to date again because you don’t feel the same intensity of emotions like anger or sadness that you might be feeling now.
Healthy Step #5. Discover yourself again and create a great relationship with you while you are waiting to date
When you’ve been with someone for a while, it’s hard to imagine creating a single life again.
Getting back in touch with yourself can be both exciting and a lot of fun while you’re going through the healing process.
Try signing up for classes you’ve always wanted to take or go see a fun chick flick by yourself or with a friend.
Sign up at MeetUp.com for fun activities that interest you.
You’ll get to meet new like-minded friends who love doing what you like to do plus you’ll get out and have fun.
Breakups are hard.
Yet, when you can see them as an opportunity to get clarity and to heal, you will find that new doors start opening again fairly quickly.
All you have to do is be willing to open that door when you’re ready . . . then walk through it to discover the magic that could be waiting for you on the other side.
How exciting!
So my question to you is how have you coped in the past with a breakup?
I’d love to hear about your healing process and how it worked for you.
Believing in you!
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, “The Winning Dating Formula.” It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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The garden saved me in so many ways, and I want it to do the same for you. The action of gardening and getting outside has many healing and health benefits and is one of the best ways to get your body moving again. Let’s talk about the power of gardening and how to get started while your body is still recovering.
Many people who stumble upon Garden Therapy come here while searching for help in their own recovery journey. For me, the garden is a powerful place to heal, both in what you grow and the action itself.
Gardening came to me at a crucial time, offering me an outlet to slowly heal my body and find a new passion in life. Gardening is amazing for mental health and can also be a gentle way to get the body moving.
Every message I get about someone who finds hope in my own story and shares their own journey means the world to me. I never would have expected that Garden Therapy would reach so many people when I started it.
Someone recently asked me for tips on how to help increase their time and physical stamina in the garden while recovering from brain surgery, and I thought it was time I dedicate a whole post on tips for utilizing the healing power of gardening.
Here’s what I’ll be talking about today:
The key is to garden in a way that works for you and you alone.
My Recovery Story
I didn’t grow up as a gardener. Instead, it found me when I needed it the most. Many years ago, I woke up with a headache. Little did I know, this was just the beginning of my chronic disability.
I spent that first year almost entirely in bed, trying to sleep off my pain and finding myself with no energy whatsoever.
After a year and a half, I was able to do small tasks with my body, like walking around the house or brushing my hair.
By the third year, I ventured outside. My garden was little more than a neglected lawn, but I decided I would build a garden and my health at the same time.
It started off with just 5 minutes a week, then 5 minutes a day, then 10 minutes a day. It was gradual, very slow, but very rewarding.
Here I am, almost two decades later, and I’m a Master Gardener, permaculturalist, and an award-winning author of 12 books and counting.
And it all started with those 5 minutes a day during recovery.
I still struggle with pain daily but I have learned how and when to push my body.
Finding That Balance
The first thing I’ll say about using the garden to recover is that you need to find a balance between pushing yourself in moderate ways without overdoing it, all while listening to your body.
As someone who is a type A personality and doesn’t like to stop once I’m hustling, I had to really come to terms with listening to my body. It was important that during my healing, I continued to listen to my body’s signals while also not being sedentary.
You have to be so careful not to slip into that toxic positivity. Continuing to push yourself more than your body is ready for can develop into a detachment from the signals of our bodies.
Accept what you can do, and listen to those messages your body puts out.
Find ways to make your garden low maintenance, like switching from a turf lawn to an alternative lawn.
Choose Your Hard
In my eyes, those physical and pain symptoms telling you to slow down is your body healing. German homeopathy really embodies this idea that hurting is part of the healing process. When you don’t feel the pain, the healing process hasn’t even begun yet.
Think of pain like an alarm system. Once you stub your toe and it hurts, you try not to do it again. When you push, it’s going to hurt, but the pain will also encourage you not to push too hard.
For me, it was all about choosing my hard. Yes, moving at first was very difficult, but I also found being sedentary especially hard on my body and my mental health. So I chose my hard and pushed my body to its current capabilities and watched it grow.
Just recently, I hurt my back. For almost two weeks, I didn’t do much movement, not even walking Kiddo to school. Every day for the past 11 years, even when I was pregnant, Kiddo and I would go on our daily walk. It’s really part of how we bond and a big reason why he’s so outdoorsy.
It was really hard for me to be in a place where I couldn’t even walk with Kiddo. After two weeks, I finally went on a walk with him and actually felt better because I got that movement. But the next day, I only got a block and a half before I had to turn around. And that’s okay.
I was kind to myself and listened to my body. It needed recovery time and rest.
Tips for Gardening for Recovery
My biggest tip is listening to your body and finding that balance, but here are some other ways I recommend using the garden as a form of recovery.
Set a goal that’s easy to achieve. For me, it was those first five minutes a day. Be reasonable, and just do something little to get started.
Get outside even when you can’t garden. If you’re unable to get much movement in, that’s okay. Simply sitting outside can give you immense benefits.
Enjoy garden therapy inside. There are more ways than physically gardening to get some much-needed garden therapy. From indoor herb gardens to garden-inspired crafts, you can enjoy the benefits of nature even inside.
Utilize permaculture zones. Keep things that you want to access regularly, such as houseplants or vegetables, close to the home (follow these tips).
Relax after gardening. For me, that’s sitting in the bath with Epsom salts to immediately relax my muscles after working.
Try reading. If you aren’t able to get out that day, try reading up on gardening practices, designs, and ideas instead. I really got my start by reading vegetable gardening books from the library.
Stretch before you begin gardening. From yoga to simple sitting stretches, try to move your body ahead of time to increase blood flow to your muscles.
Garden in a way that works for you. Ignore the trends and what everyone else wants your yard to look like. For instance, I ditched having a front lawn that needed to be mowed and watered since that requires lots of physical work and maintenance. Now, I have a beautiful wildflower front lawn that requires almost no effort on my end.
Take it day by day. Just because you did fifteen minutes in the garden yesterday doesn’t mean you can replicate that today. Always listen to your body and adjust as needed.
Those are just a few of my tips for using the garden to heal. If you have more you’d like to share with others, please leave them in the comments below. I hope you find the power of gardening in your own life!
More Ways to Discover the Healing Power of Gardening
You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.
Have you ever been betrayed by a man you’d trusted with your heart and soul?
When it happens, it can be so painful and it can shake you to your core causing you to not only doubt your ability to pick the right partner, but it can also skew your overall judgement about men, dating and relationships.
The emotions that that come up – like feeling ashamed for not noticing the signs sooner, or the anger you feel for allowing someone into your life who eventually caused you so much pain and heartache – can lead you to questioning your instincts and creating fear and hesitancy when it comes to trusting men again.
Now you feel like only you can protect yourself, so you make men jump through hoops so you never get hurt again.
Or on a date, you focus on his flaws, determined not to be deceived again or you go out there looking for someone who is perfect (all this does is leave you single and lonely for love because perfect doesn’t exist).
These types of actions create a barrier that keeps you from forming the genuine connection you really want with a good man.
That’s why today, I want to share three steps you can take to help you rebuild trust in both men and yourself so you can make that dream of a fulfilling relationship with a good man come true.
Step #1: Healing and Forgiving
When you’ve been hurt, you want to take enough time to heal and reconnect with yourself.
It can be hard to acknowledge that you might have unintentionally attracted someone who wasn’t good for you.
Yet recognizing this (without judging or putting yourself down) is the first step towards healing your heart.
The next step comes from forgiveness – especially of yourself.
For this, I recommend a practice called Ho’oponopono.
The practice of Ho’oponopono is transformational, and you can learn more about it by clicking here.
The story of how it came about is amazing and powerful!
The process involves repeating these four simple sentences while focusing on forgiving yourself and the person who hurt you.
– I love you. – I’m sorry. – Please forgive me. – Thank you.
When I do this with clients, I have them put their hands over their heart and repeat these sentences 4 times or until they feel the negative emotions release.
Holding onto the anger you have for yourself or for someone from your past keeps you emotionally tied to that pain (which keeps you more connected with that person) and it hinders your ability to move forward.
But I get it – sometimes, letting go of negative feelings can be challenging.
If Ho’oponopono doesn’t bring the relief you seek, reach out to a counselor or therapist.
Professional support can be invaluable in helping you release any negative emotions you’re holding onto, and can pave the way for healthier relationships to come to you in the future.
Step #2: Recognizing There Are Good Men Out There For You
It’s important to remember that because one man hurt you doesn’t mean all men will.
To help my clients overcome their fears about trusting men again, I teach them to use a tool called the “Trust Glasses.”
When you wear what I call the “Grey Stormy” Trust Glasses, you’re viewing a man through a lens of distrust assuming he will hurt you.
This can lead you to losing out on a genuine connection with a potential partner who might be perfect for you but you were afraid to give him a chance.
Instead, I encourage you to wear what I call the “Turquoise Glasses.”
These glasses are like a calm ocean where you can see beautiful fish swimming close to the surface, yet you can also see any dangers that might be lurking under your feet.
By wearing them, you can go on a date simply to observe and take your time getting to know a man without any expectations about the outcome.
Rather than making him jump through hoops, view the date as an opportunity to meet someone new and interesting and focus on finding three positive qualities about him instead of looking for his flaws to protect yourself.
Step #3: Truly Listen to What a Man Is Telling You
If a man shares stories about having cheated on a previous partner, take it as a serious red flag.
You might think he’s being vulnerable and would never do this if he truly loves you, but this is flawed thinking that can lead to you getting hurt.
Don’t skip over red flags men share in their conversations and in their actions.
Men mean what they say, so it’s important to listen carefully.
When you do, you’ll be able to trust your instincts and make decisions that are best for you.
Healing your heart and learning to trust again is a journey.
It’s normal to feel a mix of shame, anger, and self-doubt after experiencing betrayal.
It’s ok to be cautious, but it’s try not to let fear close you off from future opportunities for love.
The steps I shared with you today – healing and forgiving, shifting your perspective using the Trust Glasses, and truly listening to men – will help you rebuild your confidence.
Trusting again takes time, but with patience and self-compassion, you can create the future you envision with a good man.
Remember, you deserve love and you have the strength to find it again.
We’re all looking for the relationship Carole now has, right?
Now to inspire you love after 50 is possible!
I can’t believe it but I’m over 60 and in a GREAT RELATIONSHIP!
I started my journey with Lisa 9 months ago with little hope of finding a man who could be interested in me. Lisa helped me regain my self esteem and self confidence, helped me work through my feelings of anger, sadness, guilt and my fears which were preventing me from letting go of the past and from progressing on my new mission. I worked hard, her program was very useful in helping me define the type of man who would suit me best and bring me happiness. Here I am today in a great relationship! Many thanks Lisa for all your help!!! Carole, Montreal
If creating a life together with a good man is something you’ve wanted, reply YES to this email and we’ll figure out the best way to get you the tools and support Carole used to find love again in her life after 50.
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, “The Winning Dating Formula.” It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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CHICAGO (WLS) — Many people don’t know what to do if someone is hurt after a shooting, stabbing or traumatic event.
Trauma training is being offered to community residents on Chicago’s South Side.
The 5th district Cook County Commissioner, Monica Gordon, partnered with Ujimaa Medics to hold a class Saturday at Roseland Community Hospital, and they will hold another class next weekend.
The classes teach people the basics of first aid.
“Knowing someone who has been shot is no longer a remote possibility,” Gordon said. “Just like we should learn the Heimlich Maneuver to save someone’s life from choking, we should learn what to do for a gunshot victim.”
The second trauma training class will be held next Saturday morning, March 30, from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Prairie State College in Chicago Heights.
The announcement of Princess Kate Middleton’s cancer diagnosis has elicited a wave of support from her family, friends, and the public at large. Following her abdominal surgery in January, Kate revealed that she had been diagnosed with cancer, which was discovered during post-operative tests. This revelation came as a shock to the public and her family, with Kate undergoing preventative chemotherapy to manage her condition.
King Charles, Kate’s father-in-law, expressed his pride in his daughter-in-law for her courage in speaking about her diagnosis. He also mentioned that he had been in close contact with Kate during her treatment, highlighting the supportive relationship between them. The royal family, including Prince William and their children, have been focusing on Kate’s recovery, with William pulling out of important royal events to be by her side.
Kate’s Support Circle: Friends and Family Rally Around Princess of Wales’s Cancer Diagnosis
Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, also extended their support, wishing Kate health and privacy. Their statement emphasized the importance of privacy for Kate and her family during this challenging time. British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and London mayor Sadiq Khan also expressed their support, with Sunak highlighting the intense scrutiny Kate has faced and the importance of privacy during her treatment.
Kate’s close friends and family, including her sister Pippa, mother Carole, and extended family, have been rallying around her. Her mother, Carole, has been described as a great support to Kate, especially in the early stages of her battle with cancer. Carole and her husband have been known for their hands-on parenting approach, which has likely been a source of comfort for Kate during her recovery.
Kate’s Support Circle: Friends and Family Rally Around Princess of Wales’s Cancer Diagnosis
Kate’s announcement has also been praised for its well-crafted nature, with a top cancer doctor stating that it was very well-delivered and balanced, providing the necessary information without oversharing 3. The Princess of Wales’s decision to share her diagnosis through a video message was seen as a personal and effective way to connect with the public. This approach has been noted for its ability to silence conspiracy theorists and provide a personal statement from Kate herself.
The announcement of Kate’s cancer diagnosis has sparked a global outpouring of support, with messages of encouragement and well-wishes coming from around the world. The Princess of Wales’s bravery in sharing her diagnosis has been recognized for raising awareness of cancer and encouraging others to seek medical advice. Her message of hope and solidarity for those fighting cancer has resonated with many, emphasizing that they are not alone in their battle.
Princess Kate Middleton’s cancer diagnosis has been met with widespread support from her family, friends, and the public. Her decision to share her diagnosis publicly has been praised for its balance and personal touch, while her family and close friends have been instrumental in providing support during her recovery. The global response has underscored the importance of privacy and support during such challenging times, with Kate’s message of hope and solidarity resonating with many.
I had this feeling just pulsing in me to take Grayson on a bike ride. I cannot even explain how important it felt. So after cleaning the church we headed home and I told Grayson to grab his bike.
He was ecstatic!!!
And I’m telling you, I was full of love and peace and it felt so right that I was actually very ponderous about what in the world I was feeling.
My bike was in the storage unit but Cade had gotten for me before leaving town but had forgotten my helmet. I had the thought that I should be wearing one (though the angle I got I still would have been beat up but more on that later) but I decided it was just a loop around the block so Grayson threw his on and off we went.
I Should Have Listened
As we came around the cul-de-sac, I had the thought, no I should spend time with him. So I motioned to cross the street and we’d go on the walking trail. I could see a little slope from the road to the trail and I had a flat out thought to walk my bike down it. Immediately I rolled my eyes at myself as if I was being wimpy as it was so tiny, and continued forward. Just as I got to the edge I could see that it wasn’t a slope but a little ledge of asphalt and instead of grass that section had loose gravel.
I knew it before it happened.
The tire snagged the broken up asphalt and then skidded through the loose gravel, unable to grip the ground and as much as I tried to save it the bike spun out to the side and launched me forward.
I cannot stop replaying, like an old VHS on rewind, my face about to slam straight into the concrete.
I felt my teeth immediately.
They were no longer where they should be.
“Mom, Are You OK?”
And as I lifted my head to assess the damage I my brain was whirring with the worst. Feeling the blood everywhere and the dirt and the reality of hard concrete under me, both helping me feel secure and pulsing as the enemy that crushed me I felt as though the bones in my face had shattered and my lips had been ripped from my mouth.
And then I heard the softness of a familiar voice behind me…
“Mom!!! Are you ok?!”
I rolled over and started to sit up, absolutely certain I’d just crushed every bone in my right hand and my face…
What are the Chances?
The day before my accident a little girl down the road had come to play with Grayson for the first time. I grabbed her dad’s number just in case, we chatted for a bit and then I carried on with my life.
What are the chances?
I had just watched my face hurl into the asphalt and was slowly pushing myself up from the pavement to look myself over. I glanced up and saw a man walking calmly but pointedly across the street to me. He had a smile on his face and concern in his eyes as he squatted down and said, “Hey, you ok?”
What are the chances that a dad we’ve seen at the bus stop would officially get to know me just the day before?
What are the chances that because of his background he would have seen plenty of bloodied up faces and wasn’t the slightest bit worked up about me?
Lifting me to my feet he walked me across the road, back to our neighborhood and said, “how are you feeling?” Just as a wave of nausea hit.
I told him I thought I was going to be sick and he very calmly sat me day and instructed me to put my head between my knees and began breathing with me.
No Coincidence
A familiar face brought me more peace and assurance than a stranger could have.
No, we didn’t know each other well, but there was no coincidence that in my time of need my heart was known so well by a kind Father above that I was cared for by someone I knew.
He began to assess the damage, carefully and gently checking my nose and hands, asking if I could move my fingers and if anything hurt.
I couldn’t and it did. Oh it did!!
Some would say it was a coincidence that Jordan was passing by, but we know better than that…
And then I heard a car door fly open and the frantic shout, “oh my gosh, Mom!!!!!”
My Daughter
Peyton was supposed to be at a baseball game. In fact, I had just texted her, not knowing she was still in the basement to let her know I’d gone on a bike ride with G.
And the game was in the opposite direction we had gone on our bikes so imagine my surprise when I heard her voice.
My head shot up in bewilderment, “what was she doing here?!”
I’ll never forget the look on her face- sheer terror. Her eyes were wide and she was running to me as if she could cross the street in one leap.
Jordan asked who this girl was and I told her it was my daughter. Just saying those words lit my heart up. It was my daughter, my family was with me.
The ER
With blood dripping into my mouth I mumbled, “I’m ok.”
But once a stubborn teen, always a stubborn teen.
“Oh my gosh, Mom. No, you’re not!”
I looked back down and noticed the torn flesh on my left hand and the blood smeared across my palm as she crouched down beside me.
Ok, maybe she was right.
“I’m calling Dad in Idaho, come on.”
I stood up and Jordan and Peyton walked me to the backseat of her car. My hands burst into excruciating pain and my knees started to tremble. Whatever shock had been there was wearing off and I was feeling it all… especially those front teeth hanging backwards in my mouth like a little kid on the swing set about to burst forwards, legs projecting them up into the clouds.
I wanted the dentist. I needed a dentist. And the doctor. My voice broke through her fog of fear as I said, “you need to take me to the dentist.”
But the ER won, and I imagine both were equally important. There’s only a short time to move teeth back, that much I knew, but brain bleeds need help too.
“Were You Wearing a Helmet?”
Even as I sit at soccer tryouts I see two girls ride up into the park without helmets. My heart is teetering on the edge of panic, it’s not worth the false freedom to flee the safety of the rules.
That was the first question the ER doctor asked when I told him what happened, “Were you wearing a helmet?”
Superman
I laid in the hospital chair, tears silently streaming into my ears completely prepared to just breathe deep and accept whatever happened.
My friends and family all began praying because they knew this was my one thing. The one fear I’ve had my entire life, breaking my teeth. My one thing!! 😭
While I was at the hospital Cade, who was in Boise was calling around to find someone to help with my teeth. In fact, he is secretly Superman. From the moment this began, he had called ahead and completed all paperwork at the hospital, gotten my darling sister-in-law to come take the kids as Grayson was very shook up, amongst a million other things.
Dentist’s Office
As soon as I was released we dashed to the dentist who immediately began numbing my upper mouth.
⭐️ Important information! We’ve since learned that timing is KEY for teeth and it’s an oral surgeon you should head to first if possible.
Listen, I’m not at all trying to be dramatic, but it was traumatic to lie there, everything hurting and all alone with my head pressed into the stomach of an unfamiliar dentist who grabbed my teeth and used all the strength he had to try shoving my teeth back into place. And that’s where today’s post and those falling tears began.
I will spare you the details and instead fast forward a few days…the day I was so anxious for but knew had to happen.
I went back to the dentist who informed me the teeth had died. And now we move forward with what I desperately didn’t want to face, fixing this mess.
Oral Surgeon and Endodontist
The next day I headed off to the oral surgeon and then on to the endodontist. We will deal with moving teeth later as my biggest concern is not letting anything slip by that should be addressed. Especially since my jaw and bite feels off and the teeth are greying so quickly.
I’m learning a lot.
Like admitting that even though my right hand doesn’t look bad the pain and lack of mobility is a clear sign that it’s I hired in the inside. A real symbolic lesson for me to remember that people can be the same and to help and treat them gently is the only way to heal.
We All Have a Part to Play in Healing Wounds
Now, I don’t know if I’ve been living under a rock and you all already know about @silverceuticals but my dear friend, Shay (@icecream.foodie) sent me this nano silver magic and I don’t feel the need to say one thing other than look at the pictures for yourselves (SilverCeuticals has actually been so kind to offer our readers a 25% discount on some of their products! Click here!). I am shocked and truly beyond grateful that she was inspired to send me something to heal me.
We all have a part to play in healing wounds, sometimes it’s literally physically and Shay did just that for me.
I pray the rest of my doctors will be able to help with the rest.
Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
Doubt can be a nasty little nudge or catapult one into despair during and after a divorce. If you ask any divorced person whether they ever doubted their decision to get divorced, many will say yes. Why do we have doubts about divorce after making one of the most impactful decisions of our lives, and what’s the best way to deal with it so that we can continue on the healing journey and not get pulled down into a well of negativity?
When going through my own divorce healing journey, I coined the terms “Hiccup Effect” and “Reverse Hiccups.” The Hiccup Effect means feeling doubtful about the divorce and often is realized after the divorce has been finalized. Because there are so many emotions associated with the death of a marriage, it is natural to have doubts, so the first thing to realize when you have the “hiccups” is that it is normal to experience the feelings. Remember that while feelings can be painful or even devastating, they are usually temporary and will resolve with self-work through the healing process.
“Hiccups” are usually caused by fear or loneliness, even when you know in your heart that the decision to divorce was soundly made; in other words, when you thoroughly contemplated the divorce and knew it was the “right” thing to do to live your best and highest life. These feelings need to be explored when experiencing “hiccups” to determine the next steps, and professional help is a great place to start if one doesn’t know how to explore feeling origins and learn how to get past them.
“Hiccups” are often experienced during difficult times, such as when one gets sick or needs help in some way – and the spouse is no longer there to comfort, take care of you or ease a burden. It is important to be mindful that these feelings are the body’s and soul’s way of “shedding” – getting rid of people and things that no longer serve us. Recognize the feelings, sit with them, explore their origins, and let them go. You can try some physical release exercises to help, but if you feel you are slipping into a victim mindset or worse (becoming depressed, not wanting to go out or eat or sleep, abusing substances, etc.), please seek professional help.
“Reverse Hiccups” are when the former spouse has “hiccups” dealing with their new existence outside of the marriage and projects their challenges onto you, which can affect your healing process. Their feelings might be conveyed by calling, texting, emailing, running into each other or even something that is said to the children (which should NEVER be done, by the way – keep them entirely out of how you feel about the former spouse and only speak well of their other parent so they too can heal).
The other spouse may use blaming, shaming, and even attempted manipulation as coping mechanisms to bring you down, too, so it is essential not to react. You may need to step back before responding and even set some boundaries. If you are subject to reverse hiccups, realize first that, like you, the former spouse is transitioning as well, and their feelings are valid.
Four tips to help you get through hiccups
Some people may experience the Hiccup Effect and realize that they did make a mistake in getting a divorce — and this is what doing intense personal work is all about. Divorce should never be taken lightly, as a marriage takes hard work and needs attention to survive and thrive. It is imperative to see if the relationship can be healed before jumping into the divorce process, as with anything that involves an extensive choice.
But if the divorce is past and the feelings of doubt are strong, it is necessary to work on the self first to determine whether the doubt is genuine or comes from some other emotion, like fear – and many fears can materialize upon divorce. Professional help may be required to discover the origin of the feelings before approaching the former spouse to dive into whether they feel the same, and to plan where to go from there.
Here are some tips to help you get through “hiccups:”
1. Write down your feelings
Include what you feel needs to be let go. Make sure to focus on what you have and express gratitude. For example, if you feel lonely having someone to share what had been a tough day, instead focus on your bravery for leaving an unhappy marriage and how it allows you to create a new life in which you will find joy.
Imagine you are throwing any negative feelings away, out of your system. You can take your hands behind your head, imagine the feeling you want to release and then throw your hands over your head and expunge them. Repeat as many times as needed, and do it for each successive feeling.
You can also do a physical release by writing your feelings down on paper and sending them off somehow (burying them, crumbling and throwing them away, etc.).
3. Reach out to your support network
Those who love and support you can help you cheer up, especially with laughter. It is imperative to make sure that the people who are part of this network are the “right” people – those who love and support you and, most importantly, allow you to make your own choices. It is possible for those who love you to try and steer you into a specific direction, telling you what you should or should not do – these are not truly supportive people and may need to be let go.
If you do not have the right people in your network, you can do a few things: sign up for classes, events or groups that do things that interest you. The people you meet there will likely share your passion. So take a dance or martial arts class, participate in a group sport, join a beach cleanup or volunteer group, learn how to sail/ski/surf or speak another language — whatever sounds fun so long as you get OUT of the house to do it.
You can also join one of the many divorce support groups you will find live and online – but the caveat here is to make sure they do not allow negative commentary such as former spouse-bashing: stay away from anything negative that might bring your spirits down and stall your healing process.
4. Move your body
Exercise, walk, do yoga, etc. These good-for-us actions release endorphins and help us to feel better naturally. Try to do this both alone and with others. It is good to have alone time when you are healing, especially in nature, as it allows us to think, experience feelings and recognize how strong we are in being alone.
It is also great to move your body with others, and it will make you feel good to take a walk or kayak around the lake with a friend or loved one. If you don’t have anyone with whom to do this join a group where you will meet others who are interested in the same fun ways to move the body – or pick something you can learn that sounds fun.
Taking the steps to heal and committing to focus on the self after divorce is necessary. Remember that it is natural to question choices, especially when they are game-changers! Getting past the “hiccups” makes moving forward and recovering from divorce easier – and more fun!
A divorce is a life-altering event that can leave you feeling lost, lonely, and emotionally drained. It can be a difficult and painful experience, causing confusion, anger, sadness, and even depression. Divorces happen for various reasons, like infidelity, financial issues, differences in priorities, goals, or values, physical or emotional abuse, and many other heartaches. However, finding peace and trying to heal after a divorce can help victims restore emotional balance and stability.
Navigating loss on any level is challenging, but losing a meaningful relationship, particularly a spouse, can be emotionally devastating. Although society is more accepting of divorce, it still has terrible consequences for spouses, children, friends, and families of those involved. Divorces also have tremendous spiritual and emotional impacts on Christians.
Here are some of the consequences of divorce for Christians:
1. Spiritual Consequences: Divorce can have significant spiritual consequences for Christians. Marriage is a sacred covenant between a man and a woman, and divorce goes against God’s plan for marriage. It can leave you feeling disconnected from God and harm your spiritual well-being.
2. Emotional Challenges: It can be emotionally draining for Christians, especially given that they have been brought up with the belief that marriage is a lifelong commitment, as taught in Matthew 19:3-6: “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
When Christians experience divorce, they can feel isolated, rejected, and ashamed. In some cases, this can lead to depression and anxiety.
3. Impact on Children: Divorce has a profound impact on children. The affected children may struggle with guilt, confusion, and anger. They may even, over time, question their own faith and beliefs in God.
4. Social Implications: Like everyone else, divorce can have social implications for Christians, especially if they are part of a close-knit Christian community. It can lead to social stigma, ostracism, and judgment from others.
It is important to find peace after divorce to have sound, emotional well-being. We must, however, consider the following for true emotional peace after going through the trauma of a breakup in a marriage:
Reading and Meditating on the Word of God
As Christians, we can heal from any kind of pain or heartbreak through our faith in God. Our ultimate consolation comes from listening to the voice of the Lord and meditating on His words. The Bible, which is the Word of God, is one of the mediums through which He provides us with guidance and comfort in times of trouble.
The Word of God reminds us that we are not alone and that God is always with us. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
We are also reminded in God’s Word that even in our darkest moments, God is with us, offering comfort and support.
Practicing True Forgiveness
Another key to finding emotional peace after divorce is forgiveness. Forgiveness in this context is not only about letting go of anger and resentment towards our former spouse but also forgiving ourselves for any mistakes we may have made in the marriage.
Jesus teaches us to forgive others in the Lord’s Prayer. Matthew 6:12 says, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” When we forgive, we release ourselves from the burden of negative emotions and open ourselves up to emotional healing and well-being.
Seeking Support
Seeking emotional support from friends, family, and professionals such as pastors or counselors is also helpful.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that there is a time for everything, including a time to mourn and a time to heal: “To everything, there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Therefore, when you find yourself struggling after a divorce, you must not conclude that it is the end of the road.
As a Christian, you must understand that you are going through this divorce for a reason God is quite aware of. And if the emotional pressure becomes unbearable, do not hesitate to seek help from your trusted and godly friends, family, or a spirit-filled pastor. These are the people God has planted in your life to act as a support and pillar to your faith in Him in difficult times. It also makes sense to approach a counselor if the need arises.
Never Underestimate the Power of Prayer
Prayer is also essential in finding emotional well-being after a divorce. Prayer allows us to connect with God and express our deepest emotions and desires.
The book of Philippians teaches us that when we pray, God’s peace will guard our hearts and minds. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Be careful for nothing; but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Healing yourself through prayers and meditating on the Word of God after going through the agony of divorce can help restore your relationship with God and help you find meaning and purpose in your life.
The bottom line is that God does not take delight in divorce, and He is not happy with the impact of divorce on your spiritual health.
In Matthew 19:6, Jesus says, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Divorce can be a violation of God’s plan for marriage and have spiritual consequences.
Take a Break to Create Better Relationships
One significant reason you must try to find peace and heal after a divorce is to establish healthy relationships with family, friends, and potential romantic partners.
In the aftermath of a divorce, it can be challenging to maintain peaceful relationships with those who were once close to you. However, trying to find peace and healing from the divorce can help you establish healthier relationships with others, even with those who were once involved in the divorce. Establishing healthy relationships with family members can be challenging after a divorce. Sometimes, your family members may even take sides or become distant from you or the parties involved in the breakup. However, finding peace can help you bridge the gap and rebuild relationships with loved ones.
Improve Your Physical Health
Divorce can have a significant impact on your physical health. The stress, anxiety, and emotional toll of divorce can manifest in physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, and muscle tension. Stress is a common response to the challenges of divorce. It can increase blood pressure, heart rate, and muscle tension. Chronic stress can also weaken the immune system, making you more susceptible to illness and disease. Finding peace after a divorce can help reduce stress levels and improve overall physical health.
The emotional turmoil of divorce can make it difficult to get a good night’s sleep. A lack of sleep can have negative effects on your physical health, such as fatigue, irritability, and decreased cognitive function.
Prepare Yourself for a New Beginning
Finding peace after a divorce can be a transformative experience that allows you to let go of the past and embrace a new beginning. The Bible teaches us that God is a God of second chances and that through His love and grace, we can find new beginnings even in the most challenging circumstances.
One of the most powerful verses in the Bible that speaks of this truth is found in Isaiah 43:18-19: “Remember ye, not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”
Work on Your Personal Growth
Another strategy for healing, and why it is important to find peace after a divorce, is the opportunity for personal growth and development.
In Romans 8:28, we are told that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.”
Therefore, during difficult circumstances such as a divorce, God can use our experiences for our ultimate benefit and growth. For anyone going through a divorce, this means that there is an opportunity for personal growth and development. By focusing on the present moment and working towards a brighter future, you can develop new skills, talents, and interests and become stronger and more resilient.
Conclusively, Christians need to remember that healing after a divorce is a process that takes time. But when you seek spiritual guidance through prayer, reading the Bible, practicing forgiveness and self-care, seeking support, and practicing patience and trust, you can find healing and restoration after a divorce.
Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.
Mentored by Celebrity Spiritual Influencer and Teacher Rev. Dr. Iyanla Vanzant, Tamara Ravelo’s “Name It, Heal It!” healing series is Bringing Hope and Healing in a World Full of Darkness
Press Release –
Sep 16, 2022
NEW HAVEN, Conn., September 16, 2022 (Newswire.com)
– It goes without saying that the world in most recent times has been a rather dark place, full of pain, oppression, and isolation. In the aftermath of a global pandemic, the nation and its communities of all sizes and backgrounds are in desperate need of healing — not just physical, but also emotional and spiritual. Unfortunately, few community leaders have stepped up to the challenge to inspire hope and healing in this increasingly tumultuous world. However, Tamara Ravelo, Yale Divinity School’s First Indigenous Student Government President in its 200-year history is championing generational change through “Name It, Heal It!”, a year-long healing series initiative.
Tamara Ravelo proudly represents her family and people of the Quechan Indian Tribe and is using her presidential platform to add an abundance of light for the good of her school community, tribal community, and global community. Mentored by Rev. Dr. Iyanla Vanzant, a world-renowned spiritual influencer and teacher, who hadn’t taken on a mentee in over 40 years, Tamara is breaking cycles, healing pasts, and changing futures as she leads.
Seeking to spread light, love, and a belonging community for all, Tamara Ravelo has coined the acronym MOUNTAIN, a set of principles to bring forth unity, mutual respect, equity, empowerment, and healing. MOUNTAIN stands for:
(M)irth
(O)wnershift
(U)nite
(N)ourish
(T)hankfulness
(A)bundance
(I)nspire
(N)ame It, Heal It!
Taking the year by storm, unlike anything Yale Divinity School has ever seen from a student government president, “Name It, Heal It!” will feature powerful healing sessions with world-renowned leaders, namely: Iyanla Vanzant, Joy Harjo, Erika Alexander, Gary Zukav, Heather Aranyi, Gail Song Bantum, Christine Lincoln, Christiana Danielle, Judy Petersen, Bertice Berry, Barbara Levy, Amy Julia Becker, Aisha Dean, Lamon Brewster, and Richard Aaron.
All of the speakers said “yes” to partnering with Yale Divinity School’s President in hopes to add more joy to her educational community and the world. Tamara Ravelo is bringing everyone together to master this MOUNTAIN collectively as a united front for the good of humanity.
“I love God and I love people. I hope to see a more healed humanity where we work towards the good and foster belonging for all. That’s it, simply, that is my work!” – Tamara Ravelo
Through proof of concept, dedication to dismantling the wounds of the past, and unwavering commitment to fostering hope and healing for future generations, Tamara Ravelo’s purpose-driven vision has come to fruition with “Name It, Heal It!”
HINSDALE, Ill., March 30, 2022 (Newswire.com)
– Together at Peace invites everyone who has lost a loved one to spend the week of April 24-May 1 walking one mile or more anywhere in the world in memory of loved ones who have passed away while raising money for the four inspiring charities that are registered for the event. The partnered charities are Ronald McDonald House Charities of Chicagoland and Northwest Indiana, St. Mary’s Grief Support Essentia Health, Life Lessons Scholarship Programand Simply from the Heart.
Part of this special event is the “UP” collection curated by Cathy Ponakala from Virgil Catherine Gallery in Hinsdale, IL. The emerging artists featured are internationally collected: Guy Stanley Philoche, Gregg Emery, Larry Stewart and Ramona Nordal. 100% of the proceeds from the sale of these pieces will benefit the partnered charities.
Once registered, participants will be invited to attend a “Peace Party” open house in Hinsdale on May 1 to celebrate the end of the walk. A zoom link will be made available for those who are not able to attend. Bring a picture of loved ones, enjoy uplifting reflection stations, feel hope and support in gathering with others to share memories.
Together at Peace’s mission is to inspire healing and hope after loved ones pass away, through events, charitable giving and support. Registration is free.
MONTROSE, Colo., October 9, 2021 (Newswire.com)
– After living with scars from a horrific car accident for more than 25 years, Charity Freeland has released her memoir, Life Beyond the Scars: Finding Hope in Tragedy, to help others overcome tragedy in their lives.
“Honestly, there are plenty of good books out there that share the ins and outs of burn treatment, just as there are books about overcoming incredible trauma,” says Freeland. “The focus of Life Beyond the Scars is my ongoing journey toward wholeness.”
She defines wholeness as “freedom, living in truth, living loved, and living to love.”
At age 17, Freeland was driving with a sister and friend on a rainy day in Houma, Louisiana, when her steering wheel jerked to the left. As she slammed on the brakes and the vehicle hydroplaned, the collision of other vehicles caused the gas tank to explode, leaving Freeland with a disfiguring burn injury over 75% of her body.
Despite her 99% chance of dying the first night after the accident, with help from medical professionals, Freeland miraculously survived and went on to serve in various ministries focused on helping youth, crisis survivors, and wounded veterans, sharing her inspiring story at training conferences, commencement ceremonies, and churches worldwide.
Others have encouraged her to write a book for years, and Freeland has responded by writing Life Beyond the Scars. Dave Roever, president and CEO of Operation Warrior RECONnect, calls it “the real deal.”
“Life Beyond the Scars provides you with a pathway to deal with disappointment and pain,” says Roever. “It’s the real deal that puts you in the driver’s seat of choice to turn your tragedy into triumph.”
Life Beyond the Scars is now available for order as an ebook and paperback on Amazon.
To celebrate the book’s release, Freeland is holding an open house launch party and book signing today, October 9 from 1 – 6 p.m. in the Montrose Event Center on 648 South 1st Street in Montrose, Colorado. She will be sharing updates on Facebook Live for those who cannot make the event in person.
About Charity Freeland:
Charity Freeland has a passion to help hurting people. As one who has experienced life-changing tragedy and found freedom and wholeness, she recognizes that God has gifted her with hope, insights, and perspectives to share with others.
Charity has spent her career serving various ministries, including Solid Rock Foundation Ministries, a youth and family ministry that focuses on discipleship training and missions, Dave Roever’s ministry to wounded warriors, and most recently REAP International, an online Bible School serving students in many nations.
She lives in Western Colorado where she enjoys spending time with friends and traveling to see family. Connect with Charity Freeland at charityfreeland.com
