Tag: halloween movies

Do you hate horror movies, but need to compromise with a friend who loves them and figure out something to watch? Take it from me, a proud wimp when it comes to spooky season. Here are some horror movies that I survived and liked even though I generally hate the concept of horror movies.

First, let me give you a sense of my taste. There’s nothing worse than someone who loves hot sauce telling you something is “not that spicy” and setting you up for failure. The same goes for scary movies. Thrillers are fine by me. Gothic romance is encouraged. I can handle a couple of jump scares per film. I won’t be happy about them, and may look them up in advance; but they won’t ruin the movie for me. I don’t seek out franchises like Saw, The Conjuring, Paranormal Activity, Smile, and/or Scream. Those artsy “elevated horror” movies that are popular these days? I take those on a case-by-case basis. Finally, I’m not ashamed to read the Wikipedia summary first and get spoiled if I’m feeling anxious.

The truth of the matter is that some great cinema lies in the horror genre and I don’t want to deprive myself of those experiences. So, without further ado: please accept these recommendations.

The Shining (1980)

The benefit to shuffling your feet and waiting too long to watch classic horror movies is that you often end up absorbing the scariest parts through cultural osmosis. Going into The Shining, I already had a sense of the horrors Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) was going to induce on his family. I knew about some of the bloody visuals. There are a couple of jump scares, but none so bad that I couldn’t handle it. Ultimately, the scariest thing about this movie is how misogynistic its villain is even before he gets possessed. Watch this as an important piece of adaptation/the Stanley Kubrick canon and so that you can then watch Mike Flanagan’s delightful and safely spooky Doctor Sleep!

Jaws (1975)

Another benefit to waiting around to watch horror movies is that the special effects are, in the 21st century, hokey enough that you can remove yourself if you really want to. I’m not saying the special effects are bad. Yes, the whole *thing* about Jaws is that Spielberg and his crew found the scary by not showing the shark. And it is a scary movie. Just not the type of scary I can’t handle.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

This is probably, in my humble opinion, the scariest film on this list. I was required to watch it in graduate school and not happy about it. So, imagine my surprise when I actually enjoyed myself. The original film about teenagers on a road trip who encounter a family of cannibals and a chainsaw-wielding villain called Leatherface, directed by Tobe Hooper, is worth it. It uses a funny framing device that falsely claims it’s based on a true story. Because I was in a classroom, I started taking note of the tropes that have become synonymous with the slasher subgenre and started in this movie. That kept me from getting too scared. Finally, there’s a genuinely funny scene in the middle that perfectly parodies the American nuclear family. If I hadn’t sucked it up and watched the film, I would have missed out!

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Speaking of tropes and jokes, The Cabin in the Woods is so meta that you’ll forget to be scared for laughing. Even the jump scares break the tension in a way that when your heart rate returns to normal, it’s funny. The film is a parody of slasher movies, like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, about a group of young people getting picked off one by one. Certain plot developments explain why this is happening and why the young people are making such poor choices in harm’s way. The film critiques why audiences are so obsessed with watching hot young people get tortured on screen. Since this isn’t my favorite genre to begin with, I appreciated the commentary. Finally, it doesn’t hurt that the characters are so lovable!

Get Out (2017)

Jordan Peele’s directorial debut had such good word-of-mouth that I had to see it in theaters. There wasn’t a world in which I missed out on that cultural moment. For the most part, the viewing experience is more uneasy than scary. I can handle sitting in a pool of dread and microaggressions that feel like little drops of acid. The fact that there’s so much to chew on thematically is the icing on the cake. It’s funny too and the cast is killer. Quick storytime about scaredy cats like me: because I loved Get Out, I watched and adored Nope. But I’m still a little too scared to see Us, even though I know it will probably be fine. Something we have to reckon with when it comes to choosing which horror movies that do and don’t work for us is that sometimes the reasoning is irrational.

The Dead Don’t Die (2019)

This horror comedy is my zombie entry on this list. You’re probably already familiar with zombie comedies like Shaun of the Dead and Warm Bodies. Check out this one next! Director Jim Jarmusch, who is also responsible a melancholy vampire hang called Only Lovers Left Alive, knows how to keep it weird. The humor is dry as a bone, and another meta element that creeps in over time and helps distance you from the gore and destruction going on everywhere.

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

The Silence of the Lambs is a psychological thriller with some tense sequences and a few bloody moments. You can handle it. It’s mostly the story of a female detective working against the clock to solve a mystery with the help of a serial killer who respects her intellect. It’s about people who are good at their job. That kind of movie can be comforting, even if the characters are going through the horrors. And if you love that Hannibal Lecter guy, have I got a canceled-too-soon series for you.

Alien

What’s this science fiction movie doing here? WRONG! The first Alien is a textbook horror movie. It’s basically about a haunted house. Just replace “house” with “spaceship” and “haunted” with “stalked by a killer extraterrestrial who wants nothing more than to kill and/or impregnate you” and you get this movie. Characters get killed off, one by one, in a confined space. That’s a horror movie! Ripley, the icon played by Sigourney Weaver, is a final girl. The alien itself is plenty scary, so I do reccommend looking up the plot for this one beforehand if you’re not spoiler averse. However, IMHO the scariest thing about Alien is the crew’s unwillingness to listen to a woman who is right. They lowkey deserve what they get!

Sinners

For whatever reason, I find vampire movies more palatable than other spooky scary creatures. Maybe it’s because, after growing up with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Twilight, True Blood and the 1994 Interview with the Vampire made me feel like an expert in the lore. I’m prepared for anything. Until 2025, that is! Ryan Coogler’s Sinners was a phenomenon when it was first released in April 2025 and will hopefully get some love at the Oscars in 2026. The film is gorgeously shot. I know that even though I got scared and looked down a few of times. That’s what second and third viewings are for! The soundtrack is perfection. Coogler uses the vampire as a metaphor for cultural appropriation and assimilation into society, and that barely scratches the thematic surface of the film or reveal who the *real* enemy is by the end.

American Psycho

You might not know it by the way some people, namely men, idealize Patrick Bateman, but this is a satire. I personally found it impossible to be scared during this movie because I was laughing at the ridiculousness of the yuppie lifestyle that American Psycho sends up in every scene. Now that we live in a society that is desperately trying to be the conservative, capitalist, consumerist 1980s once again (largely thanks to a certain leader who Bateman himself idolizes in the film and Brett Easton Ellis’ original book) this movie hits especially hard.

Crimson Peak

If you’re digging Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein, you have to watch Crimson Peak. Drop everything and queue it up. This is one of those movies that got kind of buried because it was marketed as something that it was not. It’s not a traditional horror movie, and therefore early audiences and some critics got mad. But it’s an excellent gothic romance that’s spooky, sexy, and feminist. It’s all kinds of thrilling, basically. The film Jennifer’s Body is another great example of feminist horror that was tragically misunderstood when released. Why don’t people know what to do with scary movies for the girlies?!

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

Bodies, Bodies, Bodies on the other hand did seem to find the right audience. This black comedy directed by Halina Reijn (also responsible for Babygirl) plays with slasher flick conventions and class commentary. “Eat the rich” movies were especially popular around that time in recent history. The Menu did a similar thing in 2022, and might have been a skosh more popular in certain cinephile circles. The Menu is also a skosh scarier! Stick to Bodies, Bodies, Bodies for some Gen Z violence and dark chuckles.

Trap (2024)

As a scaredy cat, I mostly appreciate M. Night Shyamalan as a filmmaker from afar. There are a lot of his films that I’m avoiding for a reason, and prefer to read about rather than check out. I don’t like to be scared and I don’t like to be tricked. Treats only, TYSM! But once I got wind that Trap was a hoot and a half, I was sold. And it is! What if a serial killer was trying to be a good dad? How long can you justify rooting for him instead of against him? It’s such a fun ride, and scary only when it really needs to be.

(featured image: Universal Pictures/Lionsgate/Warner Bros./Bryanston Distributing Company)

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