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Tag: God

  • You Really Can’t Hide From God

    You Really Can’t Hide From God

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    You know, it’s pretty hard for people to lead with their weaknesses as opposed to showing off their perceived strengths. We all like to let the world see us in our best light. It’s for other reasons that we want to keep our shortcomings hidden in the dark, hopefully never to see the light of day. Some of us can even trick ourselves into believing that our true self is the one we show to others and not the one we take to bed with us, by ourselves each and every night. The longer we hide from ourselves, the more we’re likely to have difficulty understanding and then dealing with who we really are as people. Some might call it denial.

    The problem with spiritual denial is it’s impossible to do. You cannot deny your own sinfulness. You cannot hide from your own sin. There is no rationalization for the exclusion of God in your life. Regardless of how much you want to show the world your high moral standards or perceived high spiritual standing, when it comes right down to you and God, that dog simply won’t hunt. In order to get your life in balance, you must first recognize the futility of trying to come off to others as if sin is not a part of who you really are. Then again, isn’t it how you come off to the Lord that’s the issue?

    After all, when the lights go out, and it’s just you, are you really alone? Maybe that’s why some people need to have anything but silence and solitude as companions. In relation to God, it’s not a very comfortable situation because you know, in God’s eyes, you’re never alone. You know, in God’s eyes, you can’t even run, let alone hide. Wherever you are, He is. Whatever you are, He knows. Whatever you did, well, that’s the nature of God. And the nature of the Lord says to lead with your weaknesses. Bring Him your sins. Confess, and then, maybe, then, and only then can you and your God take positive action about your life. But first, we’ve got to take care of the basics. Empty the closet. Acknowledge the dirt. Understand its nature. Then, bring it into God’s house. He’s the only one who can clean it up anyway. He’s the only one who can, and by His nature, will accept what He’s interested in. That’s one of the many beauties of Christ Jesus. His life and death and life paid for and took care of the need to hide your sinful nature from anyone.

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    James Washington

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  • Count on Him

    Count on Him

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    I heard something this morning that has stayed with me and has become embedded in my spirit, so I thought I would pass it along.  

    ‘God is not schizophrenic.’   It sounds simple enough, but at cose inspection, this is pretty  powerful stuff.  When I looked for a biblical reference to elaborate on this point, there were actually too many to quote.

    I mean  the bible is full of confirmation about God’s consistency and his unwavering faithfulness to us.  God keeps His promises and in HIs unpredictability, he is predictable.  God Loves us and no matter how hard we try to deny this, remove ourselves from this truth, the Bible never changes.  Warts and laws and faults, God loves us. 

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    James Washington

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  • Undefeated Love

    Undefeated Love

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    There’s a belief or a saying, at least, that love conquers all. In the secular world the reference is to the power of emotional love to compel men and women to do extraordinary things.  Love is said to move us to do the unthinkable with  sometimes positive and in many instances negative results.  One of the reasons for this apparent inconsistency lies with another saying and that is “Love is blind.” Again, in this secular world nothing can be reckless and misdirected as blind love.  Now take the same saying and apply it with biblical references and it takes on a whole new meaning.  Love conquers all.  Just for the sake of giving an example, God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son.  The greatest commandment is love of your neighbor as yourself.  God is Love.  Out of love, we have been saved.  From this perspective love takes on a set of characteristics that only result in positive endings.

    I’m reminded that spiritual love differs from secular love in that one is conditional and the other is not.  By that I mean love in this sense, from its biblical basis, is an unconditional state of being.  Love, according to scripture,  is a constant.  It never ceases to be and it never ceases to give.  

    I believe that is what is meant by unconditional.  Love by and other definition is not love.  It is a perversion of God’s great gift to us.  Love like faith requires covenant.  I am moved by Daniel’s prayer,” O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps His covenant of love with all who love HIm and obey His commands…” Daniel 9:4. I must tell you that this sums up quite a bit for me about this subject.  Unconditional love begets something less than unconditional love  in return.  So all of this begs the question how do you love someone?  How do  you attempt to love God?  Unconditional does not mean undisciplined.  It does not preclude commitment.

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    James Washington

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  • Ready Aim Fire

    Ready Aim Fire

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    I ask you just how hard is it to be a card-carrying Christian these days?  I mean we’ve got card carrying Democrats and Republicans.  You can get a membership card for every organization from the NAACP to the ACLU.  The more I study the more I’m moved to realize that being a professed, in the spirit card-carrying man or woman of faith, is tantamount to putting a bullseye on your back and inviting a artillery barrage on your location.  Scripture tells us that accepting Jesus Christ as a way of life was no easy task for early practitioners of faith.  Being criticized,thrown to the lions for fun and games, beheaded or ostracized were all very real possibilities for those who believed and then lived according to  the Word of God.  Is today so different?  Once you take up the standard of revolutionary thinking, once you commit your life to Christ, once you decide to live humbly in mercy and love and forgiveness isn’t it interesting the kind of attention you attract.  “Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout  the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” 1 Peter 5:8-9

    Looking around the world today, it is ludicrous not to recognize that religious persecution is still the number one cause of war and man’s inhumanity to man.  CNN will attest to the fact that people all over the planet are being systematically annihilated.  We sometimes take for granted the religious freedom we have in this country and I believe it has lulled us into a sense of being a Christian is somehow easy.  Well it’s not and it never has been.  It’s empowering.  It’s enlightening.  

    It’s eternal but it is not easy.  The good news is we are not alone and never have been.  Living for God is probably the quintessential reality of human existence.  Its reward is an inner understanding of the working of the universe that affords us to take physical life for granted in favor of life everlasting.  Many of us believe in life after physical death.  Christians have some insight into what to expect.  Life as we know it is imperfect and cruel.  Eternal life as we have come to believe is just the opposite.  Rationalizing the difference is where faith resides.  Is it any wonder then that belief in a deity that invites humility, demands love and recognizes mercy is cause for ruthless and radical reaction among those who would live otherwise?  Is it any wonder that love for Christ Jesus invites the wrath of Lucifer in all of his forms?  That target, that bullseye  on your back should indeed be worn like a red badge of courage, because courage is what it’s going to take to withstand first the ridicule of the world and next the scorn of those who would tempt you with the weakness of your passions.  And lastly, courage is the prerequisite for the certain death that will befall us all.  If life after death is a fact that most of us agree upon, then I belive it stands to reason that that badge Christians wear is most certainly a ticket into a kingdom blood bought and faith preserved for believers; the same believers who are shunned and persecuted and murdered today and yesterday in the name of God.


    A 2019 National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ) Legacy Award winner, Washington is a communications practitioner in all forms of media for over four decades. He has served on numerous boards in…
    More by James Washington

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    James Washington

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  • Parents of boys killed by Grossman take solace in her murder conviction: ‘We finally can move on’

    Parents of boys killed by Grossman take solace in her murder conviction: ‘We finally can move on’

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    Nancy Iskander arrived at the graves of her two young sons a few hours after a jury on Friday convicted Rebecca Grossman of murdering them.

    It was the end of a wrenching day. Three years after Grossman sped through a Westlake Village crosswalk in her Mercedes-Benz, hitting Iskander’s sons as she watched in horror, she had finally found some level of closure.

    “Someone was held accountable for your murder sons. Sleep tight. Rest in peace,” she wrote on X along with a dusk photo of the marble headstone.

    It took jurors a little over one day to convict Grossman on all charges.

    In doing so, the jurors appeared to embrace the prosecution’s case that Grossman — the scion of a prominent medical family — was reckless and impaired by margaritas and Valium when she plowed through the residential intersection and hit the children in a marked crosswalk.

    The jury convicted Grossman on two counts of murder, two counts of gross vehicular manslaughter and one count of hit-and-run resulting in death. Those were the maximum charges sought by prosecutors. The jury could have opted for lesser charges, such as vehicular manslaughter with ordinary negligence.

    Mark Iskander, left, and his brother Jacob in a family photo.

    (Courtesy of the Iskander family)

    For Iskander, it was a moment of satisfaction and grief. She had been bearing witness for her boys, testifying in court and demanding authorities take the case seriously.

    “My family has been waiting for this for 3½ years now. I’ve been waiting for the trust of the justice system. So today we’re just giving glory to God; the God of Mark and Jacob has been with us through that time and helped us through, carried us,” she said outside court.

    She said sitting through the high-profile trial “felt like I am attending the funeral of the boys again, day after day. That’s how it felt, seeing the defendant and defense attorneys.”

    But with the conviction, she felt, it was all worth it.

    “We were trusting the justice system,” she said. “We have a justice system you can trust from our experience. It’s not a justice system where people get away with things just under the color of their skin or their wealth or anything. You commit a crime, you will be held accountable.”

    1

    Mark Iskander.

    2

    The Iskander family, including Nancy Iskander and her husband

    1. Mark Iskander 2. Jacob Iskander. (Courtesy of the Iskander family)

    On Sept. 29, 2020, when Iskander and her three sons approached the crosswalk, wearing inline skates, she began to cross Triunfo Canyon Road at Saddle Mountain Drive. Her youngest son, Zachary, was next to her on his scooter. Mark, on a skateboard, and Jacob, also wearing inline skates, followed a little over arm’s length behind.

    Prosecutors accused Grossman of reaching 81 mph before lightly braking and hitting the brothers at 73 mph, based on the car’s data recorder and the distance Mark was found from the crosswalk.

    Prosecutors allege Grossman, 60, had cocktails with her then-boyfriend Scott Erickson, a former Dodgers pitcher, and then raced with him — he in his black Mercedes sport utility vehicle and she in her white Mercedes SUV — along Triunfo Canyon Road until they reached a crosswalk.

    Iskander boys

    (Courtesy of the Iskander family)

    Prosecutors also alleged that Grossman traveled a third of a mile after hitting the children before safety features in her car automatically shut it down.

    Iskander’s witness testimony was a highly charged moment in the trial, as she described watching Grossman’s SUV plowing into her sons.

    “I heard the loud noise, and I heard the driver of that car kept going,” Iskander told jurors. “I started screaming, ‘I can’t find them.’”

    “Nobody came back to help,” Iskander said. “She did not come back to the scene.”

    “She killed my kids,” Iskander said of Grossman. “They aren’t at school. They are not playing sports. They are at the cemetery.”

    Grossman was taken into custody after the verdict. She faces a sentence of 34 years to life in prison based on the conviction. Grossman’s lead attorney, Tony Buzbee, called the verdict unexpected and vowed to appeal.

    A woman, a man and three boys

    Nancy and Karim Iskander with their children, Mark, Jacob and Zachary.

    (Courtesy of the Iskander family)

    Nancy Iskander said it didn’t bring her any joy to see Grossman in handcuffs. Grossman’s daughter was overcome with emotion and yelled, “Oh, my God,” as the first word “guilty” echoed across the courtroom.

    “No one wishes that on anyone,” Iskander said. “I promise I do not have any hate for her. My heart broke for her children. … It wasn’t easy, but it will bring me closure.”

    Iskander also took time to talk about her sons.

    “Well, they were golden-age children. They loved God. They were raised at the church. They were hardworking. They were honest. They cared about the truth,” she said. “And they were spoken for by a prosecution who’s also just that hardworking, honest, who cared about the truth.

    “Mark and Jacob didn’t die. Mark and Jacob were murdered,” she added.

    She said her family was able to cope with the tragedy because of a large support group. “We’re thankful for our community. We’re thankful to everyone here.” Her son Zachary, who was 5 on the day of the crash, continues to deal with the trauma of losing his brothers.

    Iskander’s husband, Karim, said he hoped the verdict would be a turning point.

    Two boys wearing matching clothes hold each other

    Jacob, left, and Mark Iskander.

    (Courtesy of the Iskander family)

    “We finally can move on. Finally. We have been waiting for the closure,” he said.

    He also thanked the jury, saying they saw past “the imaginary conspiracy theories and tricks…. and focused on the evidence and they took it seriously.”

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    Richard Winton

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  • 6 Aspects Of A Balanced Person: A Complete Picture of Well-Being

    6 Aspects Of A Balanced Person: A Complete Picture of Well-Being

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    What are the six aspects of a balanced person? Physical, mental, emotional, social, work/financial, and meaning/spiritual. Learn more about each one and how to improve it!


    In life, there isn’t one single area that we need to focus on that is going to magically fix all of our problems.

    Instead there are multiple dimensions behind every “good life.” Each dimension requires our attention and each contributes to our overall happiness and well-being.

    Here are six aspects of life that come together to create a “balanced person.” By being more aware of these different dimensions in life, we can determine which areas we need to focus on more and work to improve.

    The different aspects of a balanced person include: 1) Physical, 2) Mental, 3) Emotional, 4) Social, 5) Work/Financial and 6) Meaning/Spiritual.

    If we focus too much on any one area, then we risk neglecting another one. For example, if you become solely focused on just work and money, you may end up spending less time taking care of your physical and mental health, or less quality time with family and friends.

    This is a common trap people fall into. They focus all of their energy and effort into one area in life while completely ignoring another. Often they need to reconfigure their core values and priorities before making a meaningful change.

    This is why practicing balance in all things is so important.

    Each of these areas is one piece of a much larger puzzle, and only when you have all of these areas working together harmoniously can you finally build a complete life that serves all of your needs.

    Here’s a detailed breakdown of each aspect of a “balanced person,” along with tips, tools, and practical advice on how you can start improving each one.

    While reading ask yourself, “Which aspect do I need to focus on the most right now? What’s one small change I can make to improve that area?”

    Now let’s dive in…

    1. PHYSICAL WELL-BEING

    health

    The “physical” aspect of life is all about taking care of our health, especially exercise, diet, and sleep.

    This includes what types of foods and drinks we consume on a daily basis, how often we exercise and keep our bodies moving, personal hygiene and cleanliness, as well as minimizing alcohol, smoking, and other harmful habits to our physical health.

    Our body is one of the most precious gifts we have – and without it we can’t exist. If we don’t stay healthy, we often can’t fully enjoy all the other aspects of life such as family, work, traveling, or leisure.

    Our health can often have a spillover effect into all the other aspects of our lives – for that reason, taking care of our physical health is often an essential first step on any road to self-improvement.

    No matter what the current state of our health is, it’s never too late to start changing our habits, even if it’s something small like stretching in the morning, taking daily walks outside, or starting an active hobby like Yoga, marathon running, or playing sports.

    A healthy body is a healthy mind. When we take better care of our bodies, we also feel more confident, motivated, and energized overall. That’s the beginning of bringing out your best self.


    Things to do:

    • Identify small ways to be more physically active. Often our days are filled with opportunities to be more active, we just need to take advantage of them. Try to cultivate an “everything counts” mindset when it comes to exercise, even if it just means taking a walk around the block, or stretching in the morning, or doing push-ups before lunch. Any physical activity is better than none at all – so seek out small and convenient ways to keep your body moving throughout the day. If you find yourself sitting for long periods of time, get up and do chores, take a walk around the office, or make a phone call while standing up. A sedentary lifestyle is one of the biggest risk factors when it comes to poor health, so finding any reason to stand up more is better than sitting.
    • Find exercise that “clicks” with you and your personality. Different things work for different people. Some people need to commit themselves to a gym membership to get themselves off the couch, while others prefer to work out in the comfort of their own homes. Your personality shapes what exercise you like, so it’s important you find activities that resonate and “click” with you, rather than trying to force yourself to do something you really don’t enjoy. All you need is that one hobby to take your fitness to the next level, whether it be finding an enjoyable sport (like Tennis, or Baseball, or Basketball), or even exercising through video games (such as Wii Fit or Dance Dance Revolution). Try to think of physical activities you enjoyed as a kid, that can often be a good place to rekindle motivation.
    • Keep a healthy and consistent sleep schedule. Sleep is one of the most important habits when it comes to your overall physical and mental health. Research shows that those who don’t get sufficient sleep (between 6-10 hours every night) often suffer worse health outcomes like a weaker immune system, higher risk of obesity, lower energy and stamina, and more stress and anxiety. If your sleep habits aren’t healthy or consistent, it will likely have a negative “ripple effect” on almost every other aspect of your day. When you’re tired and fatigued, you’re more likely to make mistakes at work or argue with your spouse. It’s important not only to get between 6-10 hours of sleep each night, but also to maintain a consistent schedule. If you don’t sleep much on the weekends, it’s difficult to “catch up” on those lost hours throughout the week. Try to go to bed and wake up around the same time each day if possible. Here are more important lessons behind a good night’s sleep, including recognizing that some people are natural “early birds” or “night owls,” and that’s something you need to recognize and work with.
    • Pay attention to your food and diet. There are many different diets out there to choose from – and people can have long debates about which one is better – but the most important thing is to not eat too much, especially junk food, fast food, soda, sweets, and lots of processed food. Use your commonsense. Experiment with different diet changes and see what works best for you. Different diets work better for different people – so there’s no “one size fits all” solution to what exactly you should eat or not eat. One simple diet change is to substitute all your soda/juice/sugary drinks with water instead. Drinking plenty of water is never a bad place to start – most people don’t recognize how dehydrated they can be throughout the day and how it effects them. If you’re trying to lose weight, one popular option you can consider is intermittent fasting where you allow yourself to eat for an 8 hour window each day and fast for the remaining 16 hours. You can also try the “One Meal A Day” approach, where you restrict yourself to just one big meal (with minimal snacking). In general, pay attention to how your body responds to the things you eat: What foods leave you tired and feeling like crap? What foods make you energized and feeling good?
    • Take care of personal hygiene and cleanliness. Proper hygiene is another important aspect of physical health. While it can seem like commonsense, basic habits like taking a shower, brushing your teeth, getting a haircut, trimming your nails, and washing your face are are all important things not to neglect. Not only does cleanliness prevent you from catching germs and getting sick, you also feel better about yourself when you present yourself in the best way possible (and smell good). Often we are surprised by how much better we feel after a fresh new haircut, or clean new clothes, or new cologne/perfume. When mental health is low, we sometimes neglect these basic habits out of laziness or apathy, which is why they are a crucial first step in self-improvement if we aren’t paying enough attention to them.
    • Minimize your bad habits. No one is 100% perfect and we all have a couple bad habits, whether it be eating too many sweets, or drinking alcohol, or staying up late, or smoking cigarettes. In general, it’s important to quit (or minimize) our unhealthy habits as much as possible. “Choose your crutches wisely.” Keep in mind the long-term consequences of your habits – while it may not feel like they are hurting you right now, their effects can often catch up to you in the future. When trying to quit any bad habit, identify your triggers and work from there to change to change your patterns. Often by creating more boundaries between you and your bad habits, you can overcome your urge to do them (until it’s no longer an automatic habit anymore). If you find that you have a serious problem with addiction or drug abuse, consider professional help (such as a therapist, psychologist, or counselor) – there are often local resources available in your area if you do a quick search.

    Please don’t underestimate the importance of keeping your body in the best shape possible. As Socrates famously said, “No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

    Physical health is about much more than just looking and feeling good about yourself – it’s about living a life of vitality and longevity. You can have everything else in your life figured out, but if you don’t maintain your health you won’t be around very long to use or enjoy it.

    2. MENTAL WELL-BEING

    mental

    If you don’t take care of your body then it will slowly deteriorate – and the same is true for your mind.

    Just because you don’t have to go to school anymore doesn’t mean you can’t keep learning new things, keeping your brain sharp, and challenging your intellect.

    Reading books. Learning about new topics. Having deep conversations. Attending lectures and workshops. Following the news. These are all commonsense ways to keep our minds active and continue to update our knowledge and belief system as we move through life.

    Learning is a lifelong endeavor. Balanced people are always seeking new things to dig into and learn more about like a new hobby, new game, or new skill such as painting, chess, learning a new language, or playing a musical instrument.

    In addition, research shows that continuing to challenge our brain is an important way to prevent cognitive decline as we get older, including lower the risk of dementia and memory loss.


    Things to do:

    • Read more books. Reading is one of the best ways to keep your mind sharp and learn new things. Nonfiction books about science, history, philosophy, or self help can grow your knowledge and broaden your perspective on life; and reading fiction has been shown to have many cognitive benefits such as boosting empathy, creative thinking, and expanding your vocabulary. If you haven’t read a book in awhile, try to make it a goal to read at least one book this year. You can start with a book you already own but never got a chance to read, or ask a friend for a book recommendation, or get a card from your local library and explore countless books for free. Find a topic or subject that interests you and start there!
    • Learn a new skill. Learning multiple skills is a hallmark of being a balanced and well-rounded person. It’s never too late in life to dive into something completely new, such as playing a musical instrument, learning a new language, writing poetry, painting, or playing chess. A jack of all trades mindset can make you stand-out from others in unique ways. Many people have a talent or passion for at least one thing, but when you start combining talents and cultivating multiple interests it shows your range and flexibility as a person. Don’t limit yourself. There’s no pressure to become a “professional” or “expert” in everything you do, just stay on a learning path, have fun while doing it, and enjoy seeing the growth as you go.
    • Watch documentaries. Documentaries are a fun and easy way to explore new topics and learn about interesting things you otherwise wouldn’t experience. Depending on what you like, there are many different subjects to choose from: history, sports, biographies, science, inspirational stories, or nature documentaries (which have also been shown to boost positive emotions like joy, gratitude, and awe). I’ve made a lengthy list of recommended documentaries which I try to keep updated as I discover new ones. Check it out and choose one that catches your eye!
    • Monitor your information diet. Our current world is overloaded with information, including a lot that is wrong, misleading, or straight up lies and propaganda. Now more than ever we need to pay close attention to the information we consume on a daily basis. Try to find trustworthy news and educational sites where you can easily verify what they are saying from other sources. Beware of going down esoteric “rabbit holes” where people only confirm their own biases and beliefs. Actively seek out information from multiple sides so you’re at least aware of different perspectives and counter-arguments. The information pyramid is a great guide on how you should prioritize certain sources over others. In general, a peer-reviewed scientific study should be given more weight than some random influencer on social media. Keep in mind it’s also possible to consume too much and become an information junkie, where you’re addicted to learning new things, but you never act on it or put it into practice.
    • Spend time in active reflection. Give yourself time to think and digest, even if it’s just for 10 minutes while sitting with your first cup of coffee in the morning. You don’t always need to be filling your brain with facts to be a smarter person, you also need to know how to step back and contemplate what you know. Active and engaged minds are always taking advantage of opportunities for everyday reflection when sitting on the bus, taking a shower, or walking the dog. Often your best ideas and insights come in moments when you’re not trying to solve a problem directly but just mulling it over in your mind. Schedule time for solitude every now and then and don’t be afraid to sit alone with your thoughts.
    • Learn how your mind works. One essential component to being a more intelligent thinker is knowing how your mind works. We naturally believe we understand ourselves best, but psychology and neuroscience can sometimes reveal counter-intuitive facts and tendencies. To start, our minds are very susceptible to cognitive biases and logical fallacies that can muddy our thinking and understanding of reality. One of the most common errors is black and white thinking, where we believe a situation needs to be either “A” or “B,” but a third perspective, “C,” is the more accurate view. Our minds like to over-simplify things when reality can often be more nuanced and complex. Show intellectual humility. Be open to being wrong and be open to changing your mind in the face of new evidence and experience.

    Take your education seriously. Maintain a healthy and active brain. Even if you were never a good student in school, that doesn’t mean you can’t improve your knowledge and intelligence, especially once you find subjects you are deeply passionate about. Benjamin Franklin once said, “An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”

    3. EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING

    emotional

    In the “Mental” section we covered how to keep our brains active and be more intelligent thinkers, but there’s also a whole other side of our psychology that we need to pay attention to as well: our “Emotional” side.

    Emotions can often seem like something that we have limited power over, but being a more emotionally intelligent person means becoming more self-aware and learning how to better respond to our emotions in the moment.

    We can’t ignore our emotions or push them aside forever, they are a necessary facet of life and we must learn to navigate our emotional world effectively if we want to live the best life possible.

    Remember that emotions are a resource, not a crutch. Every emotion serves a function or purpose, and if we channel our emotions in a constructive direction we can make great things happen.

    One important lesson is that even negative emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, or fear are helpful to a better life if we approach them from the right perspective.


    Things to do:

    • Learn the basics of emotional intelligence. There are 4 fundamental pillars of emotional intelligence that we need to cultivate: 1) Self-awareness (recognizing our emotions when they happen), 2) Self-regulation (knowing how to respond to our emotions and channel them in a positive direction, 3) Empathy (being aware of other people’s emotions and internal states), and 4) Social Skills (knowing how to respond to other people’s emotions in a healthy and constructive way). Certain people may be strong at some of these and not for others. For example, someone may be really empathetic and caring, but not know how to regulate their own mood and emotions, leading to burnout and emotional fatigue. An emotionally intelligent person must work on all four of these pillars.
    • Improve body awareness. All emotions have a physical component to them. When you learn how to identify the physical sensations behind each emotion, you’ll be much more attuned to your feelings in the moment as you’re experiencing them. This helps you to be more aware of your feelings before acting on them, and to recognize how emotions often want to push or pull you in a certain direction (“do this” vs. “don’t do that”). Every feeling serves a different function depending on its emotional valence (“positive” vs. “negative”) and arousal level (“high energy” vs. “low energy”). With practice, this improved body awareness can also boost your intuition, making you a better reader of your “gut feelings” and what they are telling you.
    • Learn to channel negative emotions. Negative emotions can serve a positive function if you know how to respond to them in a constructive way. If you struggle with any specific negative emotion (sadness, fear, guilt, or anger), then create a plan for how you will respond to it the next time it arises. For example, “If I’m angry, then I’ll go exercise,” or “If I’m sad, then I’ll write in my journal.” Emotions are energy that can be channeled in multiple directions. Write a list of the many ways you can respond to any negative emotion. Remind yourself you have a choice, and you don’t have to keep following the same pattern between negative emotion → negative behavior. One popular technique is opposite action, where you intentionally do the opposite of what a feeling is telling you to do (to reverse the cycle of negativity).
    • Practice meditation and daily mindfulness. Meditation is a great avenue for better understanding and regulating your emotions. It teaches you how to step back and just observe your thoughts and feelings without needing to immediately react to them. This space between “feelings” and “actions” is crucial for being a more emotionally intelligent person; it’s the main principle behind discipline, willpower, and self-control. Never forget that just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean you need to act on it. If you’re completely new to meditation, start with the 100 breaths meditation – a simple exercise where you just focus on your breathing. It’s also helpful to learn grounding techniques for when you feel overwhelmed, such as mindful stretching or a 5 senses meditation.
    • Embrace creative expression. It’s difficult to describe many emotions with only words so it’s important to embrace other ways of expressing yourself, such as through music, photography, dance, painting, drawing, acting, or film. Often when I meet people who don’t feel fully connected to their emotional self, they usually lack ways of expressing themselves through art and creativity. A creative outlet is often a prerequisite to better understanding and navigating your emotional world, even if you don’t typically think of yourself as a “creative person.”
    • Savor all of your positive experiences. Life is filled with many joys and pleasures throughout the day and we should try to savor them as much as possible. We have many positive emotions to choose from – joy, gratitude, peace, awe, excitement, laughter, and wonder – and there are a variety of activities that can lead to more positive emodiversity in our lives. Don’t just chase after the same positive experiences over and over again, seek new experiences, new hobbies, and new ways of enjoying life. Learn how to savor happiness as much as possible by being more present in the moment, creating positive memories, and reminiscing on good times.
    • Relax and manage daily stress. Last but not least, it’s necessary we cover stress management as an essential component to mental health and emotional intelligence. Stress is a normal part of everyday life, but if you don’t know how to manage it in a healthy way it can often have a negative influence on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors by making you more sensitive, irritable, angry, and bothered (even by little things that don’t really matter). Recognize when to push yourself vs. when to step back and recharge. In the complete guide on daily stress, you’ll find a great framework for reframing your “fight, flight, or freeze” response by viewing stress as a signal to pay attention to and guide you throughout the day. Don’t underestimate the importance of your comfort zone and use it as a place to recharge after a challenging or overwhelming day.

    Emotions can “make us” or “break us” depending on how emotionally intelligent we are. They are a fundamental part of life, but we often have more power over them than we realize. Learn how to channel your emotions in a healthy and constructive way – become a master of them, not a slave to them.

    4. SOCIAL WELL-BEING

    social

    Healthy and positive relationships are an essential ingredient to happiness and well-being.

    No matter who you are, you crave some type of social connection; even the most introverted person on the planet will have a tough time finding happiness all by themselves.

    There used to be a time when I believed “I don’t need people to be happy, all I need is myself.” But over the years I’ve learned more and more that having social support and a sense of belonging is a basic human need that can’t be avoided.

    How strong is your current social circle? Here’s advice to get you started.


    Things to do:

    • Stay connected with friends and family. You should try your best to stay in touch with people who you already have a strong relationship with, especially family and old friends. There’s a simple power in checking in on people and preserving social connections you’ve already established. It doesn’t take much time or effort to show you’re thinking about someone: a simple text, email, or phone call is all you need to let people know you still care and value your relationship with them. You’d be surprised by how much other people appreciate you reaching out to them, even if you haven’t spoken to them in a really long time.
    • Embrace small social interactions. Every time you leave your home, there is opportunity for social interaction. To build your social muscles, embrace the power of 10 second relationships, such as saying “Hi,” to a neighbor or coworker, small talk with a cashier or cab driver, or sparking up a quick conversation while waiting for the train or bus. Research shows even super tiny social interactions can boost positive emotions and feelings of social connectedness. This can also be a great exercise for people who are very introverted (or have a lot of social anxiety) and want to start being a more social person. Make a plan to have a pleasant interaction with at least one new person every day.
    • Learn how to have endless conversations. One big concern for people when it comes to meeting new people is, “What do I say? What if I run out of things to talk about?” One popular technique known as conversation threading provides an excellent framework so that you never run out of topics to talk about. The basic idea is that every sentence contains multiple “threads” we can go down, and often the art of good conversation is being able to 1) Listen to what people say, and 2) Choose a thread to talk more about. Rinse and repeat and a conversation can go on forever. Also consider improvisation exercises so that you can be a faster and more creative thinker in the moment.
    • Improve communication and conflict resolution. It’s a cliché, but communication is everything in relationships. If you don’t know how to express your thoughts and feelings in an honest and constructive way, you’ll have trouble building genuine and healthy connections with others at home, work, or wherever you need to cooperate and work together with people. In romantic relationships, it’s important to know how to communicate your feelings without manipulating or being dramatic. In family and work environments, it’s important to know how to defuse heated arguments before they spiral out of control. The truth is people can be difficult and you’re not going to like everyone’s company. That’s natural. Conflicts have the potential to arise in any social situation, because people have different beliefs, values, and personalities that may be incompatible with each other. What’s most important is to teach yourself the best methods for conflict resolution so you can better navigate the complexities of your social world.
    • Find opportunities to meet new people. Most people make friends through work or school. Once we get older, it can become more difficult to find new connections or become a part of new social circles. Recent research shows that most adults claim to have “less than 5 close friends.” If you’re looking to expand your circle, there are many opportunities available to you. Depending on your likes, hobbies, and interests, consider going out more to music shows, bars, coffee shops, workshops, church/religious services, bowling leagues, adult education classes, sports events, or book clubs. Seek out local groups in your area or volunteer somewhere. You can also take advantage of websites like Meet Up to connect with like-minded people who live close-by. All it takes is one new friend to introduce you to an entirely new social circle. Be patient and don’t worry if you don’t initially hit it off with the first couple people you meet. Finding the right relationships that fit into our lives can take time.
    • Use social media and the internet to connect. The internet can be a great place to connect with like-minded people who we’d never meet in the real world. Online communities on social media, message boards, or video games can often provide a valuable source of social interaction, especially for people who don’t have many “real life” friends. The internet can be particularly helpful for connecting with others who have rare or eccentric hobbies, such as fans of a specific author, athlete, music genre, or comic book franchise. Unfortunately, many online communities can also become negative, competitive, and toxic (see the online disinhibition effect), so it’s necessary you build a positive digital environment that works for you. That doesn’t mean hiding in your own “echo chamber,” but it does mean cultivating a feed and followers who ultimately add value to your life and don’t subtract it. First focus on topics you’re naturally interested in such as science, technology, sports, or movies. Try not to be a passive consumer of information, actively enter conversations by asking questions or sharing knowledge with others. Often times we can build meaningful connections with people online that are just as important as those we find in the real world. However, while online relationships can have many benefits, we shouldn’t see them as a substitute for real world “face to face” interactions.

    Always remember that quality of relationships > quantity of relationships.

    You don’t need to be super popular or the life of the party to have a healthy social life. All you need is a couple really close friends who support you, trust you, and enjoy your presence. That’s everything you need to be socially satisfied.

    Healthy relationships are a fundamental aspect of happiness and well-being for everyone. Our need to belong to a “tribe” or group is hardwired into our brain, biology, and evolution. Like every other aspect of a balanced person, it can’t be ignored.

    Are your daily social needs being fulfilled?

    5. WORK / FINANCIAL WELL-BEING

    work

    Another fundamental aspect of a balanced person is work, money, and material concerns.

    At the most basic level, we depend on food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, and other necessities so we can live a healthy and dignified life.

    People that struggle to make a living can often hurt in many other areas: physical health (can’t afford good foods, healthcare, or medicine), relationships (can’t support family, no money for dating), as well as our mental and emotional well-being (stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem).

    Unless you win the lottery or have someone else to provide for you, finding a steady job or career is often one of the most focused on areas in life. From childhood up until we finish high school or college, we are constantly asked, “What do you want to do for a living?”

    A few people find jobs they love, many find jobs they like, and most find jobs they can at least tolerate. Balancing psychological needs with financial needs can be a difficult task depending on your current situation.

    While we don’t always get a choice in what we do for a living, there are important ways to give ourselves more power over our work life and financial life. Here are important guidelines to keep in mind.


    Things to do:

    • Focus on your strengths. Everyone has a place in this world where they add value. Before you decide what type of work you’d like to do for a living, it’s important to know what your natural strengths, skills, and talents are. If you’re friendly and good with people, you may excel at managing, customer service, or human resources type jobs. If you’re more introverted and creative, you may want to focus on writing, graphic design, computer programming, or freelance work. What type of activities are you typically good at (or at least above average)? What were your best subjects in school? What do you enjoy doing and why? Complete the strengths worksheet to discover more about your natural skillset. Ultimately, knowing your strengths will influence what types of jobs or career choices will suit you best – including where you contribute the most value.
    • Value education and experience. No matter what your job is, there are always new ways to learn and improve. The best workers in life are those who are always growing and mastering their craft. College is still an important part of education, but what’s even more important is to stay self-motivated and continue learning after school. Many people I know have landed successful jobs that had virtually nothing to do with what they studied in college. In several cases, they were people who taught themselves coding/programming, built a portfolio to show their work to potential employers, and climbed their way up the company ladder from there. All self-taught. You can also consider going to trade schools, workshops, mentorships, internships, and other forms of gaining knowledge and experience that are outside of the traditional college model. Any work experience is better than none at all – you just need to start somewhere and begin building yourself up.
    • Make the most of your job. While it’s rare for any of us to get our “dream job,” we can always make the most of our work life by being a good employee and doing our best. Use nudges to keep yourself motivated and productive throughout the day, learn mental strategies for getting things done that you normally “don’t like” doing, and make friends at work with bosses, coworkers, clients, or customers, because those are the people you’re going to be spending a lot of time with and it’s crucial you have healthy and functioning relationships with them. No matter what your job is try to see the underlying purpose or meaning behind it. What value does it add to the world? Are you proud of the work you do?
    • Live within your means. Regardless of how much money you make, one of the most commonsense rules for financial well-being is living within your means. This includes keeping a budget that you can maintain (for food, rent/mortgage, bills, gas, clothes, and leisure expenses), and not buying too much stuff you can’t immediately afford. Debt can be common at some point in our lives (due to student loans, credit card debt, medical emergencies, etc.), but try to be mindful to not put yourself in a hole that you can’t climb out of. Avoid luxury expenses that put you at financial risk. We sometimes over-extend ourselves due to social comparison and a “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality. We think if our friend or neighbor gets a brand new car or goes on an expensive trip, then we need to “one-up” them with a similar purchase. Many times people fall into massive debt because they are trying to chase status, fame, luxury, or exorbitant pleasures. In general, keep track of all your monthly expenses and find ways to cut back on spending that isn’t necessary. Learn about spending biases that can lead to overconsumption (like the allure of “FREE!,” the “Relativity Trap,” and “One Click” purchases). Big corporations are masters of psychology and persuasion. If we aren’t vigilant about our spending habits (especially if you enjoy retail therapy), then we’ll often fall for tricks that cause us to spend more money than we should.
    • Create a healthy relationship with material things. This article is about being a balanced person. Work and money are very important aspects of life, but materialistic beliefs can also backfire to hurt us. No one lays down on their deathbed wishing they spent more time in the office. Work-a-holics can end up focusing so much on their career that they neglect giving enough attention to their family, health, and well-being. Never forget that there is a lot more to a good life than just money and material things, despite what you may see glamorized in movies, TV shows, or commercials. Psychology research shows that after a certain point, increased wealth and income has very little effect on our overall happiness and life satisfaction. Being rich sounds awesome, but it won’t necessarily make you any happier than if you earned less with a stable and secure life. Take the materialism quiz to see if you have a healthy relationship with money and stuff.

    Remember, money is important but it isn’t everything.

    Financial well-being will often look radically different depending on the person. Certain people may be content with modest and minimal living, while others crave more luxury, adventure, and pleasure. Whichever lifestyle you choose, it’s necessary that money finds the proper role in your life without being completely consumed by it.

    One succinct way to define true financial well-being is “not needing to think about money all the time.”

    6. MEANINGFUL / SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING

    spiritual

    The meaningful or spiritual aspects of life can often be overlooked.

    We may occasionally ask ourselves big questions like, “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” or “What’s my purpose?” but we rarely translate these questions into our daily lives through action.

    For many people, religion is their main source of spirituality and meaning. Attending church, being part of a local community, prayer, and volunteering or giving to charities are common ways people boost meaning in their daily lives. Religion has been shown to improve happiness and well-being by creating a strong sense of purpose and community.

    However, we don’t need religion to have a meaningful life. There are many other sources of meaning, including art, culture, philosophy, literature, music, relationships, activism, introspection, and creativity.

    Where do you get your meaning in life?


    Things to do:

    • Learn the pillars of a meaningful life. One excellent guide on how to live a meaningful life outlines five different pillars to focus on, including 1) A sense of belonging (having healthy relationships with those around you), 2) A sense of purpose (feeling that you contribute to a larger whole), 3) Storytelling (the life story we tell about ourselves, as well as stories and myths about the world we live in), 4) Transcendence (experiencing “awe” and “inspiration” in the presence of great things), 5) Growth (having a sense that you are evolving and moving forward as a person). All five pillars contribute to a rich and meaningful existence.
    • Spend more time in nature. Nature reminds us that we are part of something larger than ourselves, a whole process known as “life.” Nature is a fantastic source of meaning because it continuously inspires positive emotions like joy, amazement, gratitude, and awe. The best part is that nature is all around us – we don’t need to plan a weekend camping trip to experience it – instead just pay attention to everyday nature that is all around you: trees on the drive to work, birdwatching in your backyard, or spending time in your garden over the summer. Having pets to care for is another easy and wonderful source of nature and connection, even if it’s just a small fish tank to maintain. Nature also includes enjoying the beauty of a nice view such as sunrises, sunsets, mountaintops, storm watching, and star-gazing.
    • Take a complete picture perspective. Finding meaning requires being able to look at things from a big picture perspective. What influence do your actions have in the long-term? What type of impact will you leave on the world after you die? When you keep the complete picture in mind, you recognize that even super small actions can add up and have big results in the future. Your life doesn’t begin at birth nor end at death, you are part of an intergenerational chain of cause-and-effect that has stretched thousands of years. That’s a powerful thought if you can see the true significance behind it.
    • Embrace art, music, and culture. Artists are the creators of new meanings, especially famous painters, musicians, filmmakers, photographers, authors, playwrights, and dancers. Pursuing a creative hobby of your own is one fantastic way to infuse new meaning into your life. You can also embrace art and culture more by going to museums, art galleries, music concerts, and theaters. A lot of beautiful art is archived in online art and cultural exhibits, so you can discover a lot of new inspiration by just sitting in the comfort of your own home. Artists of all forms teach us how universal the human condition is. It’s a huge inspirational boost when you realize a book written over a hundred years ago resonates exactly with how you feel today. One of my strongest memories is attending a music concert of my favorite band with thousands of others listening and singing along. Creativity is one of humanity’s greatest gifts and there’s a lot of wisdom, beauty, and feelings of universal connection it can offer us.
    • Signs, symbols, and synchronicity. A meaningful life can be more about feeling inspiration and empowerment rather than thinking only logically and factually about the world. Embrace things you can’t always explain. If you feel like you’re getting a “sign” from the universe, accept it. Our minds often think unconsciously through the power of symbols, especially through reoccurring dreams or nightmares that may be trying to tell you something important. Meaning can be created anywhere if you have the right perspective. Many of my favorite moments in life are when I experience synchronicity, which is finding a connection between two things that seem completely unrelated at first. For example, if I start reading a book and then someone brings up the same book randomly the next day, I try to see that as a sign that I’m on the right path. It may or may not be true, but it is a simple and easy way to add more meaning to the little things in life.
    • Have faith that life is good. Faith may not have any role in science, but it does play an important role in good living. At the end of the day, one of the most important beliefs we can have is that “life is good” and things will generally work out in the end. One of my personal favorite quotes is, “Pray to God, but row to shore.” It shows us to have hope and faith in life, but still take action and try our best in the moment. Both faith and action are necessary ingredients to a happy and fulfilling life. A belief in God or a higher power can make this whole process easier. However, even if you can’t bring yourself to accept “metaphysical” or “supernatural” ideas, at least try to sense the oneness and interconnectedness of all things. These ideas are an endless source of power, strength, and resilience, even in the face of incredible hardships and tribulations.

    A “meaningful life” can be one of the most difficult areas of life to improve, especially while living in a world that is filled with nihilism, hedonism, and materialism.

    However, once you build a strong spiritual core you can withstand almost any difficulty or hardship. It can empower you to a whole new level that non-spiritual people don’t usually have access to.

    CONCLUSION

    To sum things up we must invest time and energy in all six of these aspects if we want to live a happy and balanced life.

    Once again, these six aspects of a balanced life include: 1) Physical, 2) Mental, 3) Emotional, 4) Social, 5) Work/Financial, and 6) Meaningful/Spiritual.

    Which area are you the strongest in? Which area are you the weakest in?

    Keep this framework in mind as you embark on a lifetime of self-improvement. Try the Daily Routine (PDF) exercise and use this resource as a guideline.


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    Steven Handel

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  • Help! My Loved One Is a Narcissist!

    Help! My Loved One Is a Narcissist!

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    Disclaimer: This isn’t therapy, and Dr. Audrey’s advice is for the general audience, meaning it may not always work for everyone. 

    “Is it possible to help my Mom with mid-term dementia to be set free from narcissism? Or would it just be better [if] I seek out healing from the abuse myself? Thank you.” – H

    Thank you for sending in your question. Although I have never met nor diagnosed your mother, when you mentioned narcissism, my graduate training kicked in. The psychologist in me wondered if your mother might qualify for what the DSM-5-TR labels as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). 

    In case you’re not a mental health geek like me, DSM is the go-to book we in the profession utilize to diagnose mental illness.

    On the one hand, just because someone exhibits narcissistic traits doesn’t mean she fits an NPD diagnosis. On the other, you don’t need a doctor to formally assess her when you live with the pain of having your needs disregarded—again and again—because your mother continues to act in a self-absorbed way and dismiss your reality.

    As though a possible NPD diagnosis wasn’t bad enough, it sounds like your mother is also suffering from dementia. The combination of these two makes it very difficult—if not impossible—to “set her free” from narcissism. 

    Short of a miracle, that is.

    Let me explain why.

    The first roadblock we face is willingness. Narcissists don’t think there’s anything wrong with them. Because they believe it’s everyone else who needs to get their act together, getting your mom to agree to receive help for this personality issue already feels like fighting an uphill battle.

    And then there’s the second—and even more entrenched—barrier. Narcissism happens by necessity, not choice. I’m not privy to your mother’s backstory, but I’m 90% convinced something must have significantly hurt her earlier on. Perhaps, instead of a loving or caring authority figure, your mother grew up with a caregiver who repeatedly belittled, shamed, or neglected her. 

    Which then caused a part of her to overcompensate and exaggerate her importance.

    It takes intentionality and hard work to help narcissistic personality parts abandon their tried-and-true ways of behaving. And that’s presuming the person still has a decent level of cognitive functions. When we throw memory loss and impaired thinking into the mix, the chance of having this individual recover from narcissism is pretty dismal.   

    But if God can miraculously heal physical illnesses—which He has definitely done—there’s no reason He can’t do the same for mental illnesses.

    Good news! There’s something you can do despite this seemingly depressing discussion. Seeking your own healing from whatever abuse you have received from your mother is a viable option.

    Here are 5 things you can do to that end:

    1. It’s a Part

    The theory I practice, Internal Family Systems (IFS), normalizes humans as having different parts. But let me back up. God created humans as tripartite—a fancy word that means we’re born with a spirit, soul, and body. The real you is your spirit. Your soul is the one with multiplicity inside. Don’t be alarmed—having many parts within your soul doesn’t make you a weirdo or having Dissociative Identity Disorder (which used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder). 

    Having parts just makes you human. 

    While not all of our parts are burdened, some are. The ones that are burdened tend to act out in problematic ways even when they don’t intend to inflict harm.

    Like your mom’s narcissistic part. 

    When this particular part shows up again, tell yourself the behavior you abhor is most likely due to your mom’s part. However, that’s not all there is to her. There are other parts of her that may feel badly about how she has behaved toward you, even if they may never have the chance to voice their opinion.

    The problem is, your mother most likely doesn’t know how to reel in her parts. (The majority of people don’t. The prevalence of emotional and behavioral problems in our world testifies to this fact.) 

    May I encourage you to view your loved one’s troubling behavior through parts language? Remembering that the problem represents a part and not the entire person can promote patience and compassion for that individual.

    2. Validating Yourself

    Difficult individuals demand a lot from us. Narcissists insist on having others cater to them and their needs, which is exhausting.

    But that’s not all. Being around your mother’s narcissistic part may provoke doubts. Maybe I’m not worthy of her attention. Was I imagining things? Am I just fishing for someone else’s approval? Great. Am I really that needy?

    Listen to these inner monologues. These—and similar thoughts—likely originate from your parts. Please listen to their musings and, as sincerely as you can, offer them a comforting word. Assure your parts they’re valuable and that their version of the story matters. Offer them the validation they need.

    You have the power to serve as the empathetic voice that can soothe your hurt parts. While your mom may never have the capacity to empathize with you, much less apologize, you always have the choice to offer the listening and validating service for your own internal system.

    Don’t underestimate the healing that emerges from this step.

    3. Double Boundaries

    The need to set boundaries has inspired many to publish their thoughts. (You can skim through mine here and here). Without learning to establish and then enforce our boundaries, we are bound to keep experiencing interpersonal hurt—which is the occasional offshoot of being in a relationship.

    It’s okay to set firm boundaries with your mom. It’s also okay to explain to her the consequences for violating said boundaries. You’re allowed to enforce those consequences without feeling guilty.

    But here’s the kicker: you can also apply boundaries to your own internal system. 

    This is what I mean. Parts of you that get riled up by Mom don’t have to be present whenever you’re visiting her. I don’t understand the physics behind it—which is why I can’t really explain it to you—but whenever we ask our parts to give us space, they typically will, especially if they believe we’ll still be safe.

    So, ask your parts to trust that even when they give you a wide berth (when you’re with Mom), you’ll be fine. 

    One way to tell whether or not they have acquiesced is by checking your heart. Does it feel a little more spacious inside? If so, these parts have indeed agreed to your request.

    If your parts are willing to give you space, even if Mom’s narcissistic part shows off again, you won’t feel as affected.

    4. Individual Psychotherapy

    And then there’s the gold standard—psychotherapy.

    Confession: “gold standard” is my word. It’s not as though there has been a study proving the superiority of psychotherapy above medications or vacations or anything else we do to heal our souls. At the same time, psychotherapy or “talk therapy” has been known to alleviate many issues. One statistic shows that 3 in 4 people who seek therapy find it beneficial.

    Having provided therapy for 15+ years, I can attest that not all therapy modalities are helpful. One of the more effective ones is IFS. Now that I’ve practiced and taught this modality myself, I wholeheartedly recommend therapists who are certified in it. Find the ones near you on the IFS Institute website

    IFS therapy will help you coexist with your mom, as well as complete the next step below.

    5. Spiritual Strategies

    Have you forgiven your narcissistic mother yet? If there’s a superior way to stimulate emotional healing, God would’ve disclosed it in the Bible. 

    But if your parts are like mine, forgiving someone who doesn’t seem sorry at all is a tough sell. Which was why I wrote a small book to facilitate forgiveness when you’re locked in a lifelong relationship with someone difficult. 

    Hint: you’ll encounter IFS in that book.

    Aside from forgiving your mom, you can also pray for her—that God would give her the wisdom to corral her parts. Pray also for yourself and your parts so you won’t end up despising your mother (Proverbs 23:22).

    Our prayers are powerful and effective (James 5:16).

    And because I believe in the power of prayer, I’ll say a prayer for you too.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/fizkes

    Audrey Davidheiser, PhD is a California licensed psychologist, certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, and IFSI-approved clinical consultant. After founding and directing a counseling center for the Los Angeles Dream Center, she now devotes her practice to survivors of trauma—including spiritual abuse. If you need her advice, visit her on www.aimforbreakthrough.com and Instagram @DrAudreyD.

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    Dr. Audrey Davidheiser

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  • WTF Fun Fact 13661 – Faith and Risk Taking

    WTF Fun Fact 13661 – Faith and Risk Taking

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    A recent study from York University’s Faculty of Health reveals an intriguing link between faith and risk-taking. The research, led by Assistant Professor Cindel White, looked into how beliefs about a protective God influence Christians’ willingness to take risks.

    The study, published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, suggests that the belief in a benevolent deity can boost confidence in pursuing uncertain or potentially dangerous activities.

    Findings About Faith and Risk Taking

    White, along with collaborators Chloe Dean and Kristin Laurin from The University of British Columbia, focused on Christian Americans known for their belief in a protective God. The study avoided risks with moral connotations, like drug use, and instead examined ‘morally neutral’ risks.

    These included recreational activities like mountain climbing and life decisions such as relocating for a job. The research revealed a reliable connection between these beliefs and an increased willingness to take such risks.

    The findings do not necessarily suggest that religious individuals are more inclined to take risks than non-religious people. However, they highlight the role of religious beliefs in creating a sense of safety and positivity. Belief in a protective God appears to help believers cope with life’s uncertainties and stressors. This sense of security and positive outlook may encourage them to seize opportunities they might otherwise avoid.

    Understanding the Psychological Safety Net

    The study provides insights into how religious beliefs function as coping mechanisms. For many believers, the idea of a protective God offers a psychological safety net.

    This belief may empower them to face challenges and uncertainties with more confidence. It’s not just about risk-taking; it’s about how faith shapes the approach to life’s varied situations.

    The research has significant implications for understanding the decision-making process of religious individuals. It suggests that their faith could subtly influence choices in everyday life, from career moves to leisure activities.

    This understanding could be crucial for psychologists, counselors, and even employers in recognizing the factors that drive the actions and choices of religious individuals.

    Broader Perspective on Religious Beliefs

    These findings open up a broader perspective on the role of religious beliefs in modern society. They shed light on the nuanced ways faith intersects with daily life, influencing not just moral decisions but also personal and professional risks.

    As society becomes increasingly aware of diverse belief systems, such insights are vital for fostering understanding and respect across different cultural and religious backgrounds.

     WTF fun facts

    Source: “Thinking about God inspires risk-taking for believers, study finds” — ScienceDaily

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    WTF

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  • Going Cold Turkey: Breaking Free from the Chains of Unhealthy Behaviors

    Going Cold Turkey: Breaking Free from the Chains of Unhealthy Behaviors

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    Ready for a major lifestyle change? Uncover successful strategies when embracing the “cold turkey” approach to break bad habits, making the process of change both easy and manageable.


    This content is for Monthly, Yearly, and Lifetime members only.
    Join Here Login

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    Steven Handel

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  • It’s happening!

    It’s happening!

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    I got out of prison 4 months ago. I’ve been living with my grandma (God bless her) so I’ve been able to save up some money and this is the first car I’ve ever bought!
    Just wanted to say to y’all to keep your heads up and trust that your effort will pay off in the end. I was riding my bike 15 miles a day to and from work and I was able to pay cash for this car. It was $1200 to get my license reinstated after a federal drug indictment and the car was $3800 after taxes.
    Don’t ever give up! Don’t ever lose hope!

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  • Suspect walks up to 20-year-old, asks if he has marijuana for sale, shoots him, Atlanta police say – WSB-TV Channel 2 – Medical Marijuana Program Connection

    Suspect walks up to 20-year-old, asks if he has marijuana for sale, shoots him, Atlanta police say – WSB-TV Channel 2 – Medical Marijuana Program Connection

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    ATLANTA — A man is recovering after officials say he was shot by someone who was looking to buy drugs from him.

    Atlanta police said on Friday at 12:43 p.m., officers received reports of a person shot on Fairburn Road SW.

    [DOWNLOAD: Free WSB-TV News app for alerts as news breaks]

    When officers arrived, they found a 20-year-old man who had been shot in the leg. He was taken to the hospital to receive treatment.

    The identity of the victim has not been released.

    According to the investigation, the victim was leaving his apartment building when another man walked up to him and asked if he had any marijuana for sale.

    TRENDING STORIES:

    The report said the victim told the man that he did not sell marijuana and turned to leave.

    At that time, authorities said the suspect pulled out a firearm and demanded that the victim give him money.

    The victim said that a struggle began, and he was shot.

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    After the shooting, the suspect ran from the scene before police arrived.

    Authorities are still investigating the circumstances surrounding the incident.

    IN OTHER NEWS:

    Original Author Link click here to read complete story..

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    MMP News Author

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  • God Is in the Emptiness of Our Loneliness

    God Is in the Emptiness of Our Loneliness

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    As a mental health therapist, you’d think I’d have all of the knowledge and skills needed to navigate loneliness, side-stepping it easily. But you couldn’t be more wrong. 

    Feeling lonely is so much more than a simple feeling of a lack of connection. It can cause what feels like a physical weight of dread in our hearts, never-ending hopelessness, and a deep sense of not belonging. I’ve waded through this season more than once in my life. My hope is that by sharing my stories and lessons learned with you, it can be the spark to bring you out to the other side of your loneliness. 

    My Story

    Around 18 years ago, I met a man who would change my life as I knew it. Despite being so young, I knew he was my destiny! His Coast Guard blue uniform definitely helped seal the deal, too. In the years since we said “I do,” we’ve navigated challenges and hardships that take my breath away when I think of them. Has there been adventure, beauty, and joy? Sure. But life as a military spouse can be a very lonely one. 

    I was only 22 years old when we married, and just months later, we moved halfway around the world from my family and everything I knew. It doesn’t matter how much you try to prepare; you’re never really ready. There would be moments when I despaired that God had left me behind.

    Those early years would be fraught with a lot of growing and changing. I would weather losing family members, feeling guilt from being gone, and trying to build a healthy marriage with no mentorship around me. 

    I hope my struggles can serve as a lesson and inspiration for the wider Christian community to come alongside our military neighbors a little bit better. We so desperately want to feel like we are not just welcomed but wanted. There were many times when I felt like a tolerated guest inside the walls of a church. 

    Ruth’s Story

    Our roots may be temporary, but they need to be fed and watered, too. 

    Though many of you reading this article may have no military connections, I venture you’ve felt loneliness and may even be experiencing it right now. Even inside your own church, if you have one. The COVID-19 pandemic forced much of the world into isolation which led to a mental health crisis unlike anything else we’ve ever seen before. 

    Walking through this journey as a seasoned military spouse would inspire me to write my book, Never Alone: Ruth, the Modern Military Spouse and the God Who Goes With Us, in hopes that I could reach folks going through it and help them get to the other side. 

    Ruth has always been a treasured book of the Bible for me. The words “Where you go, I go” transcend and parallel so much for my life. From following my husband from duty station to duty station to the friendships I cultivated to build my circle, the story of Naomi and Ruth did nothing but inspire. 

    But before we dive into the beauty of Ruth and the lessons learned, I think it’s vitally important to understand what loneliness is and isn’t. Check out this quick excerpt from my book on the three kinds of loneliness we should recognize and understand:                        

    1. Situational loneliness is exactly what it says and revolves around environmental factors. Examples include interpersonal conflicts, disasters, or migration (for us, this is a fancy word for moving, something we are deeply familiar with). Sadly, we’ll probably all sit in this type of loneliness a time or two, or five. Situational can also equate to life stressors, something almost entirely unavoidable but more easily treatable.

    2. As human beings, we thrive on close emotional attachments. When that is missing, it can lead to loneliness, which can then spiral into a myriad of mental illness symptoms. This can accompany a loss of someone close to you who you had previously confided in and shared attachment with. Think about things like broken friendships, lost connections due to frequent moves, or any other force coming between you and a close attachment. It causes emotional weight like no other.

    3. Isolation and a lack of community support is detrimental. Emotional and social loneliness go hand in hand, each wreaking havoc on your health. This kind will arise when there is no sense of belonging or feeling valued. As creatures of God who were intended to thrive in families, groups, or communities, missing support and connection socially is perhaps the most harmful. In this type of loneliness, we will see isolation and declining health, and it is a road that takes a lot of work to find your way back home.

    The Church’s Role

    I believe the Christian church has an opportunity to tackle all three of these different types of loneliness and be part of the solution to healing. Though many may show up to Sunday services in their best, very often, it’s to hide a mess going on in the background. By showing up well for everyone in genuine and intentional ways, you can foster the foundation of not only faith but the ability to see the light in the dark, even when it appears hopeless.

    The local church has the opportunity to provide wrap-around care to folks going through situational loneliness, emotional loneliness, and social loneliness. 

    -Truly include people within the church! Don’t just ask how someone is doing; get to know them on a deeper level and help them feel seen. 

    When fostering relationships with the military community, include us. We want to be part of the ministry and the body of the church – even if it’s only for a few years. 

    Your Role

    And outside of the church, there are many tools and tricks to navigate the impacts of loneliness, which is usually accompanied by things like depression. My advice is to build a go-bag to tackle the feelings that come along with loneliness. Here are a few tools you should utilize:

    1. Engage in thought-reframing, which is a key component of cognitive behavior therapy. This means that when you have a negative intrusive thought, replace it with something positive or change the way you have that thought. This prevents spiraling. 

    2. Infuse joy into your day. Coping through loneliness means finding ways to actively seek happiness. Music, exercise, reading, or crafting are just a few ideas for intentionally seeking joy. Do what brings you joy!

    3. Talk to someone. Therapists need therapists! Having an unbiased person outside of your circle to give you advice, help you look at things differently, and unpack what’s in your head and on your heart can be revolutionary. 

    In reading the story of Ruth, we see unimaginable hardship. Naomi has lost not only her husband but then her two sons and finds herself lost. Not only is she floundering, but she’s really bitter and angry at God while she does it all. Ruth was the one daughter-in-law who refused to allow Naomi to leave her behind as she made her way back home, and the pagan woman would become the anchor she so desperately needed to find her way back to God. She would also be the unlikely ancestor to bring us our Savior, Jesus Christ

    1 Peter 5:10 (ESV) is encouraging: “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”                        

    If you’re going through it, I see you, and so does He. God is with you, friend. You’re never alone. 

     Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Im Yeongsik         

    Jessica Manfre is the author of Never Alone: Ruth, the Modern Military Spouse, and the God Who Goes With Us, and the proud wife of a U.S. Coast Guardsman. She is a licensed social worker, author, and Chief Financial Officer and co-founder of Inspire Up, a nonprofit foundation that serves the military and first responders. She has also received national media attention for her initiative, #GivingTuesdayMilitary, which encourages people to offer one million acts of intentional kindness. Facebook: @JessicaManfreLMSW  Instagram: @jess_manfre  www.jessicamanfre.com

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    Jessica Manfre

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  • Damn Hard Road

    Damn Hard Road

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    Damn Hard Road. I've had worse withdrawals, but God damn getting sober has taken away all will to live. I feel like in a new and different way that's somehow al

    Damn Hard Road. I've had worse withdrawals, but God damn getting sober has taken away all will to live. I feel like in a new and different way that's somehow al

    I’ve had worse withdrawals, but God damn getting sober has taken away all will to live. I feel like **** in a new and different way that’s somehow almost worse. It’s almost like drastically altering your brain chemistry will effect your emotions or something.

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  • The basics

    The basics

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    After some seriously hard days and lean weeks, God does it ever feel good to open the fridge and see fruits in the drawer, eggs on the shelf and even some hot sauce. (Valentina black label if anyone’s interested, highly recommend).
    Feeling thankful. Can’t wait for my first pay cheque from the new job. I got a little advance Friday just for food.
    Huge thank you to the FJ users who helped me out with a bike lock, and a pair of boots that will actually fit. You guys rock. I’d tag you but I’m not sure if that would be cool. Happy Sunday, faggots. Find something to be thankful for.

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  • Sequel Follows Popular Near-Death Experience (NDE) Book

    Sequel Follows Popular Near-Death Experience (NDE) Book

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    Released Nov. 8: Hardcover edition “Proof of the Afterlife 2 – The Conversation Continues” by Bro. Gary Joseph

    Press Release



    updated: Nov 8, 2017

    Books recounting near-death experiences (NDE) fascinate readers of all persuasions, and Brother Gary Joseph’s first title, Proof of the Afterlife (2010, 200 pages), is no exception.

    Now his newly published sequel takes readers on a journey of hope and inspiration with 200 additional, never-before-seen journal entries chronicling God-encounters and chance meetings with angels along with visions, dreams and messages from the other side.

    In Proof of the Afterlife 2, Bro. Joseph writes about his continuing almost weekly God-encounters and angel visitations filled with prophecies and important messages to share with a troubled world; all proceeds from his new book are used to serve the 80,000-plus homeless in Southern California and beyond …

    Recounting his near-death experience in 2005 and the encounters that have continued weekly since then, Proof of the Afterlife 2: The Conversation Continues (2017, 400 pages) shares Brother Joseph’s message of hope and certainty that there is life after death and – drumroll, please – that this life should be filled with love, mercy and forgiveness.

    The success of Brother Joseph’s first book allowed him to start an IRS 501 (c) nonprofit organization to serve the poorest of the poor, 80,000-plus living under bridges, in riverbed bottoms, on city streets, and in alleyways in southern California. Today, 200 volunteers with Servants of the Father of Mercy regularly deliver clean socks, sneakers, blankets, jackets, food, water, hygiene kits, rosaries, Bibles, love, hugs, and more to those in need.

    Brother Joseph explains, “With all proceeds from Proof of the Afterlife 2 going to Servants of the Father of Mercy, this is the only NDE book in the publishing world that gives 100 percent of book revenues to the homeless.”

    Filled with personal stories, anecdotes, and ruminations on spirituality and the importance of connections, Proof of the Afterlife 2 offers encouragement to anyone struggling with life challenges such as loss of a loved one, terminal illness, relationships, death and dying.

    Brother Joseph explains, “Readers will discover in this new book the joy of knowing that God the Father is real, we are His children and loves each one of us very much.”

    “For 30 minutes, Gary Joseph was dead. Proof of the Afterlife is a Christian and devotional tale as Brother Gary Joseph offers his own testimony to the existence of the afterlife…Of metaphysical and Christian interest, Proof of the Afterlife is very much worth considering for anyone looking for tales of real people’s brushes with the afterlife.” – The Midwest Book Review, 5 Stars

    Proof of the Afterlife 2: The Conversation Continues by Bro. Gary Joseph, Servants of the Father of Mercy, Inc. – Mercy Books; Nonfiction; Religion & Spirituality/Christian/New Age; Hardcover, ISBN-13: 978-0-9833816-3-1 $29.95 available Nov. 8, 2017. (Limited Prerelease Softcover, ISBN-13: 978-0983381624 $24.95 available since July 2017)

    Available: Amazon.com, Kindle, ProofoftheAfterlife.com, and ServantsoftheFather.org

    Author: Gary Joseph has been a vowed Brother of the Catholic order since 2007. He is the founder of the Servants of the Father of Mercy, an association of vowed and lay members in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. Brother Joseph’s theological training came from both Catholic and Protestant seminaries. He earned a bachelor’s degree in theology from Anaheim Christian College, also known as Melodyland School of Theology, a Master’s from Central Bible College of the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary, and 48 units of Catholic theology/philosophy from St. John’ s Seminary. He has also completed Ph.D. units of credit in Catholic Moral Law and ethics at Duquesne University. Although books of private revelation do not need approval from the Catholic church, Proof of the Afterlife: The Conversation Continues has received wide acclaim from leaders in the Catholic Church, including thank you notes from Archbishop Emeritus of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, Cardinal Roger Mahony, and Bishop Edward Clark as well as reviews from Monsignors and priests. Brother Joseph has appeared on The Archbishops Hour (Archdiocese of San Francisco) as well as Catholic Television Network (CTN) and Catholic News Service (CNS) of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. He lives in Southern California, where he serves a community of 80,000-plus homeless. All proceeds from the sale of Proof of the Afterlife 2 will go to the Servants of the Father of Mercy homeless mission and the St. Joseph’s Inn, a hotel conference center offering at no charge a recuperation home for homeless individuals discharged from Southern California hospitals after surgery.

    Contact:

    Bro. Gary Joseph
    P. O. Box 42001
    Los Angeles, CA 90042
    Tel. 310-595-4175
    Email: gary@servantsofthefather.org
    Internet: www.proofoftheafterlife.com and www.servantsofthefather.org

    Source: Mercy Books – Servants of the Father of Mercy, Inc.

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  • ‘Spiritworks ~ a God Story; Freedom From Addiction’ by Book Author Rick Greene

    ‘Spiritworks ~ a God Story; Freedom From Addiction’ by Book Author Rick Greene

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    Sick and tired of being sick and tired…

    Press Release



    updated: Aug 15, 2017

    ​Book author Rick Greene, also known as “Spiritworks” releases his second edition of his book, “Spiritworks ~ A  God Story” which is now called “Spiritworks ~ A God Story; Freedom From Addiction.” 

    Rick Greene’s book expressly tells his own personal story as he recalls his road to addiction, the life of his once lost soul who eventually found sobriety through God, and how he was able to overcome the pain of his past. Rick Greene aka “Spiritworks” story is one of faith, hope, love, obedience and the hunger for what God can do to bring his believers out of the darkness of living in a world of drugs and alcohol.  

    From the streets of Cincinnati, Ohio, to jail, to finding God. From drugs and alcohol to living sober, ‘Spiritworks’ story is one of hope, and a life of purpose. Through this purpose ‘Spiritworks’ was led to donating a kidney to a complete stranger. ‘Spiritworks’ found the love, peace, and joy to serve God and be the husband and father God wants him to be.

    Rashane K. Crayton, Dream It PR & Marketing

    Book author Rick Greene also known as “Spiritworks” was born in Cincinnati, Ohio. The youngest of 11 children, Rick Greene remembers the sting of verbal and physical abuse inflicted by his alcoholic mother. However, there was one bright spot in his young life, his father. Rick’s father was the one that woke the children up every Sunday morning and took them to church. Even though his father was a functioning alcoholic, he loved his children. The relentless abuse issued out by his mother left Rick convinced that he was a failure. To make matters worse was a learning disability that went ignored. Rick eventually started drinking, smoking weed and ultimately using cocaine to escape. At 19, he married and started a family. Rick worked temp jobs, but feeding his addiction was his priority. “I wasn’t eating. I was skinny. My skin didn’t look good, you know. You look like you live. I looked like a slave to Satan,” he says.

    Rick eventually left his family, knowing he was only harming them. For more than a decade, Rick was in and out of jail for child support violations — just more reminders that he was a complete failure. One day, Rick was getting ready to appear in court once again, and decided to get high to soften the blow. This time, Rick decided he’d had enough. Rick asked the Lord for forgiveness and gave Him his life. He then went to court and was sentenced to six months. During that time, he read the Bible and began to understand that he had great worth in God’s eyes. 

    After his release, Rick started making things right: He found a church home, stayed off drugs, and caught up with his child support. In time, Rick was able to forgive his mother and found it freed him. Rick has since remarried. He and Stephanie are active in their church but spend most of their spare time with their two boys. Rick knows he’s made his share of mistakes, but he knows his self-worth is defined by God’s love and forgiveness. “The Holy Spirit is always reminding me, Rick, you’re forgiven, Father God’s given you a clean slate. Jesus is sweeter than honey. And once you taste Him, I promise you, you’ll want more.”

    “Spiritworks ~ A God Story; Freedom From Addiction” is available now on Amazon.com.

    For interviews and professional bookings contact: Rashane Crayton, Dream It PR & Marketing, dreamitpr@yahoo.com.

    Source: Rick Greene

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  • Two English Language Instructors, Living Worlds Apart, Are Debuting an Inspiring Novel Which Combines Profound Persian Thoughts in a Professional, Literal American Framework

    Two English Language Instructors, Living Worlds Apart, Are Debuting an Inspiring Novel Which Combines Profound Persian Thoughts in a Professional, Literal American Framework

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    Tina Gheisari’s book, “The Mystique of a Romance between May and Me,” which was originally written in Farsi, follows the life and rebirth of a pearl, in a beautiful, spiritual, and romantic novel. It describes motherhood in a profound and moving way, and includes thoughtful reflections on our choices in life, the meaning of life and death, how music is a universal language, the true meaning of childhood and even the mystery of sleep.

    Press Release


    May 17, 2016

    ​​In a unique collaboration crossing the globe, Tina Gheisari and Michael Bender are debuting an inspirational novel “The Mystique of a Romance Between May and Me,” (appropriate for all ages) on Amazon.com. Michael Bender (editor) said, “Tina has managed to give all of us an opportunity to gain an understanding of the beauty of motherhood and mothers, our freedom to choose, the Eastern philosophy of love, and the spiritual being who protects us all. For those of us who are not mothers, Tina’s book gives us a greater appreciation for our own mothers and our roles in the world in which we live. All through following the life of a pearl!”

    ​“The first word you must learn is “love” because this is the essence of me; the glittering flames from within the Creation has been started…After that I created a generous protector from the same species to ensure their survival. I called this support ‘Mother.’…Then Shell, the Mother spoke up and said, ‘Ah yes! You should promise not to forget this enamored love wherever you go, and whatever you become. ‘I promise, mother; I do, Pearl answered!”

    “The first word you must learn is “love” because this is the essence of me; the glittering flames from within the Creation has been started…After that I created a generous protector from the same species to ensure their survival. I called this support ‘Mother.’…Then Shell, the Mother spoke up and said, ‘Ah yes! You should promise not to forget this enamored love wherever you go, and whatever you become. ‘I promise, mother; I do, Pearl answered!” From the book: “The Mystique of a Romance Between May and Me”

    Tina Gheisari, Author of “The Mystique of a Romance Between May and Me

    (From the book: “The Mystique of a Romance Between May and Me”)

    Tina Gheisari’s book, “The Mystique of a Romance Between May and Me,” which was originally written in Farsi, follows the life and rebirth of a pearl, in a beautiful, spiritual, and romantic novel. It describes motherhood in a profound and moving way, and includes thoughtful reflections on our choices in life, the meaning of life and death, how music is a universal language, the true meaning of childhood and even the mystery of sleep.

    Tina Gheisari, the author, is an English teacher, coach, and translator whose native language is Farsi. She is the loving and caring mother of two grown children, a daughter and a son, Hanieh and Hossein, who were the source of the inspiration for her novel. She believes that children are truly the fruits of their mother’s labor and that we all must remember our mothers in our thoughts and prayers. By sharing her insightful concepts with her readers, Tina keeps the flames in her heart alive. Tina currently lives in Shiraz, Iran and has a TESOL degree with successful experience teaching general English to IT and high school students. She also worked as a manager of Reiki/Yoga in the United Arab Emirates.

    Michael Bender, the U.S.-based editor who also wrote the Dedication and Introduction, said that Tina wanted to produce her inspirational book in English but was concerned about translating Persian sentiments about family into the context of a literal American framework in a way that readers would be inspired about the beauty of motherhood, life and the choices we all face as we proceed with our lives, no matter where we live in the world.

    “Despite the physical separation of our lives, Michael not only captured the essence of my message, but clearly connected to my thoughts and philosophy as if they were his own,” Tina said. As a consequence, Tina asked Michael to write the Dedication and Introduction to her inspiring novel so his connection to the message was also conveyed to the reader.

    Michael Bender is an American Language Skills Consultant working, since 2009, with First and Second Language English learners from grades one through adult in after school enrichment programs at Study Concepts Inc. (Ashburn and Chantilly, Virginia), Metropolitan Academy (McLean, Virginia), and individual American and foreign students and professionals. He recently joined the GIPEC Education Group based in Shanghai, China and Rockville, Maryland as Director of SAT Program for online and one-on-one test preparation. He has been a guest speaker at Virginia International University and the World Bank on topics relating to Culture and Language. He has traveled to more than 50 countries as an international executive, U.S. Foreign Service Commercial Officer, and on behalf of Project Hope, a non-profit organization which sought to establish a children’s hospital in a devastated part of the Middle East.

    Michael has lived in the Middle East, Africa, Europe and Asia. After turning to teaching and coaching, he created and published unique visual vocabulary writing and reading comprehension plans and visual flash cards to facilitate learning of English skills. Michael said that he is looking forward to an even closer collaboration with Tina on the sequel to “The Mystique of a Romance Between May and Me,” and working with writers from other parts of the world who have unique, story based inspirational messages.

    Michael K. Bender, Editor, mkbender@outlook.com

    Source: English Language Advisors

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