The off-duty federal immigration agent who shot and killed a Los Angeles man on New Year’s Eve allegedly whipped his sons with a belt and made racist and homophobic remarks in the past, according to documents obtained by The Times.
U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Officer Brian Palacios shot Keith Porter Jr. late on Dec. 31 at a Northridge apartment complex, according to a sworn declaration submitted by attorney Michelle Diaz in a custody dispute between Palacios’ girlfriend and her ex-husband, which was made public Thursday.
The document alleges that Palacios is the shooter “based on information and belief,” citing records and testimony identifying him as an ICE agent who lives in the complex.
A review of court transcripts, proof of service documents and motions related to the custody battle shows Palacios is an ICE agent and confirms that he lives in a unit at the Village Pointe Apartments. The unit number reflects an apartment that is just a short distance from the location where neighbors say Porter was killed.
Stacie Halpern, an attorney representing Palacios, said her client acted in self-defense the night that Porterwas killed. She denied that he had ever made racist remarks and provided reports from the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services and Los Angeles police that deemed the child abuse allegations to be “unfounded.”
No one answered the door at the apartment listed for Palacios on Friday. An LAPD spokesman declined to comment and a DCFS spokeswoman said she was barred from discussing the case by state law.
Friends and advocates say Porter — a 43-year-old Compton native and father of two — was firing a gun into the air to celebrate the new year on the night of his death.
Tricia McLaughlin, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security’s assistant secretary of public affairs, initially said a suspected “active shooter” was killed following an exchange of gunfire with an off-duty ICE agent. In her statement, McLaughlin said the agent “bravely responded to an active shooter situation at his apartment complex.”
McLaughlin did not address questions about the agent’s identity on Friday or the past allegations against him. Halpern said her client remained on-duty for ICE as of Friday afternoon.
Los Angeles police said no one else was injured in the incident.
Jamal Tooson, an attorney for Porter’s family, said in a statement: “Should this individual be confirmed as the person responsible for Keith’s death, based on his deeply disturbing past allegations it is unimaginable that any human being with a conscience on this earth could regard him as a hero.”
Later on Friday, Tooson suggested the killing was a racially motivated hate crime and said he was considering asking for California Atty. Gen. Rob Bonta to launch an independent investigation.
A spokesperson for the L.A. County district attorney’s office said the incident is under investigation by the Justice System Integrity Division, which investigates killings by law enforcement officers.
A meeting of the Los Angeles Police Commission was packed last week with angry activists and residents, many of whom called for authorities to release the ICE agent’s name. Although the names of LAPD officers involved in fatal use-of-force incidents are normally made public within weeks, there is no such rule for federal agencies.
The document filed this week sought to temporarily bar Palacios’ girlfriend from seeing her daughter from her first marriage, based on the potential danger posed by the ICE agent’s alleged involvement in the shooting. According to L.A. County court orders reviewed by The Times, a judge barred Palacios from having any contact with the children from his previous marriage last February. That order was upheld last June, even after DCFS and LAPD dismissed the abuse allegations, the county court filings show.
“Palacios is presently prohibited by Court Order from being in the presence of the parties’ minor children because of his abusive conduct,” read the Thursday filing from Diaz, who represents the ex-husband of Palacios’ girlfriend. “There is a very valid concern that the stress of having shot and killed another man on 12/31/2025, and the ongoing aftermath, will materially and substantially impair Mother’s mental health, and impact her ability to provide a safe and stable parenting schedule for their youngest child.”
The fatal New Year’s Eve incident follows several others in recent weeks in which ICE agents have used deadly force against U.S. citizens.
Last week, ICE agent Jonathan Ross shot and killed 37-year-old Minneapolis woman Renee Nicole Good. President Trump and other federal officials have accused Good of obstructing immigration efforts and said she tried to hit Ross with her car, but cellphone video from the scene shows Good was trying to drive away and that Ross shot at her through the driver’s side window. The killing has drawn widespread condemnation and protests; Trump administration officials have staunchly defended the agent and accused Good of weaponizing her vehicle in “an act of domestic terrorism.”
Unlike the Minnesota incident, which was captured on multiple videos, no recordings have surfaced from the confrontation that led to Porter’s killing.
It remains unclear exactly what happened in Northridge around 10:40 p.m. on New Year’s Eve. Palacios was off duty, so there is no body camera video. None of the building’s security cameras captured the shooting either, according to a message from the property management company.
Two law enforcement officials, speaking on condition of anonymity to discuss an ongoing investigation, told The Times that Porter was found in possession of a rifle.
One of those officials said investigators also found evidence of two bullet impacts behind where the agent would have been standing at the time of the shooting, which would support federal authorities claims that he was fired upon by Porter. The official also said the agent identified himself as law enforcement before opening fire. Halpern also said Friday that there is evidence that Porter shot at Palacios during the encounter.
Asked about those issues on Friday, Tooson maintained that no witnesses have come forward to corroborate claims that the agent faced any danger that night.
Porter’s friends and family have argued he was firing a gun in the air to celebrate the new year. Los Angeles police officials have warned people against the practice for years, and doing so is a felony. Still, Porter’s supporters contend that the agent overreacted and should have waited for the LAPD to respond.
Halpern said those outraged over the killing have been far too quick to dismiss the danger that Porter posed by shooting a gun in a dense residential area.
“This person was shooting a firearm in his community. What goes up must come down,” she said, alluding to past incidents where celebratory gunshots have injured bystanders.
Palacios had an “absolute right to self-defense,” she said.
Last year, a Los Angeles County judge barred Palacios from being around his girlfriend’s children from a previous marriage in the wake of allegations that he had whipped his biological sons with a belt, according to a transcript of a 2025 hearing.
Through an attorney, the children also accused Palacios of using homophobic slurs and making racist remarks about Black and Latino people, according to a court transcript. Palacios also referred to the children’s biological father as an “illegal alien,” according to the allegations contained in court records.
Omar Escorcia, the ex-husband of Palacios’ girlfriend, told The Times that Palacios routinely made disparaging remarks about Latinos before and after custody hearings, referring to them as “wetbacks.” Halpern denied her client made any such comments.
Escorcia also described an alleged incident in which Palacios showed up to a youth soccer game carrying a gun, which was visible to other parents and left several people upset and concerned for their kids’ safety.
“What law enforcement officer who is mindful of gun safety, shows up to a children’s sporting event with a gun that is not holstered, but stuck in their waistband, and they’re holding a toddler?” asked Escorcia’s attorney, Diaz, according to a transcript of a 2025 court hearing. “There are all kinds of red flags here.”
A package thief who stole Christmas gifts in Fontana almost was responsible for the death of Sparky — a bouncy and adorable dog who was hit by a car and lost for two days after the thief failed to close the gate behind him.
Now, because of the severity of his injuries, Sparky must have a leg amputated.
Luckily, the 2½-year-old Australian blue heeler, or cattle dog, the same breed as Bluey in the eponymous hit TV show, has not lost his signature sparkle.
“He’s in such good spirits now that he’s home,” said his owner, David Lopez. “He’s limping around with the cast on his leg.”
Sparky and Lopez’s second dog, a golden retriever named Blazer, both went missing Dec. 3 shortly after the porch pirate was captured on a Ring camera leaving the yard with the gate wide open.
But although Blazer returned home that night, his best friend, Sparky, was nowhere to be found.
“My golden retriever was so depressed at that time,” Lopez said. “He was just like sitting outside, not barking at anybody or playing fetch.”
Lopez’s family searched for Sparky for nearly two days to no avail. That was until a sixth sense drew Lopez back to a neighbor’s home that he already checked. He knocked again and although the neighbor said she hadn’t seen Sparky, she agreed to let Lopez look in her yard.
As he walked around yelling Sparky’s name, Lopez heard a rustling behind him.
“I took a deep breath and, when I looked back again, I saw him pop out of the bushes,” he said. “It was just a jaw-dropping moment.”
Although Lopez was overjoyed to find Sparky alive, he was horrified at his pup’s condition. Sparky had a deep, severe cut from his hip down to his paw and barely could limp over to Lopez.
“As soon as I saw that, I put my hands on my head in shock,” he said. “I picked him up off the floor, cradled him in my arms, and we drove him to the animal hospital.”
Veterinarians believe Sparky was struck by a car and dragged down the asphalt street, tearing ligaments and leaving him with a bone-deep wound — and his family with significant medical bills.
Although he was given many stitches that night, veterinarians ultimately decided it would be necessary to amputate the leg. Lopez’s girlfriend, Krystal Altamirano, started a GoFundMe to help cover the costs of the surgery, which is scheduled for Friday.
“Losing our Christmas gifts was already painful … but nothing compares to seeing our dog suffering like this and not having the funds to save him,” she wrote in the fundraiser. “The timing, the holidays, everything hitting at once — it’s overwhelming.”
Lopez filed a police report for the package thief but hasn’t heard of developments in the investigation and is asking the public to report any sightings of the vehicle involved in the crime: a white Mercedes-Benz SUV with silver rims, which can be seen in the Ring camera footage.
He hopes the thief can be held accountable for the harm that came to Sparky.
“Packages are replaceable, but my dog is now going to be missing a part of him,” Lopez said. “I really didn’t want to see that happen, but it’s the only way to keep my dog alive now.”
Porsha from Real Housewives of Atlanta is fully “living in her truth” as she embraces her blossoming romance with master barberPatrice “Sway” McKinney — and she’s not holding back on sharing her happiness.
In an exclusive Dec. 11 interview with PEOPLE, the Real Housewives of Atlanta star opened upabout why she decided to make her relationship with Sway Instagram-official in November.
The mother of one, who finalized her divorce from Simon Guobadia in June, explained that she “just wanted to continue to live in my truth.”
Porsha added that, despite spending more than a decade in the reality-TV spotlight, sharing this particular relationship felt new and significant.
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“I’ve been in reality TV for 10-plus years, okay. But yes, this was definitely different for obvious reasons,” she said from the red carpet at A Year in Time in New York City, noting that this is her first public relationship with a woman.
On Friday, Nov. 28, the 44-year-old RHOA starposted a heartfelt birthday message to McKinney — founder of Encore Salon Suites in Atlanta — writing, “The Happiest Birthday @sway_thepro.”
“Hope this year continues to bring you everything you want and more! 🥂🍾,” she continued. “Can’t wait to act up Saturday!”
The Instagram carousel included two photos of Williams and McKinney embracing in front of a sparkling Christmas tree display, along with several videos, including a clip of the pair dancing together in a club, and another of Sway planting a kiss on Porsha’s cheek.
Porsha Williams says she’s loving her new relationship with Patrice “Sway” McKinney.
Reflecting on her decision to go public, Porsha toldPEOPLE that she “didn’t want to hide” any part of her life.
“I felt if I did hide it and it had to be caught somewhere, it just wouldn’t feel authentic,” she shared. “I want to live in my truth, and so in doing that, I have found someone who I really enjoy getting to know, and it’s been great.”
When discussing what drew her to Sway, Porsha explained:
“I think the best thing is when you find someone that you can see yourself in, and you guys match, and everything is comfortable, it’s warm.”
She added, “You definitely want to be with someone warm who you can enjoy — and family. So I’m very blessed.”
How did we get here?
Hints of Porsha’s relationship with Sway surfaced back in October during a panel at CultureCon NYC, where she revealed she was dating both a man and a woman. While little is known about the man, fans were already speculating about her connection with Sway.
At the time, Porsha shared that both relationships were off to promising starts.
“He is nice, and she is nice,” she said with a laugh during the panel, before opening up about her emotional journey.
“But I really just wanted to make sure these were normal people. And what I talked about with my therapist the other day was, I’m having a hard time opening up because they’re not narcissists. And guess what narcissists do? They love bomb you. They do everything. They’re perfect. They mirror you.”
She also revealed that neither of her new partners depends on over-the-top gestures to impress her; instead, they are secure enough to “challenge” and “question” her — something she finds refreshing.
“They’re not letting me walk over them,” Porsha said. “They aren’t just doing whatever they need to do to get into the relationship. And so I’m not feeling safe enough to open up yet.”
As for Sway, Patrice McKinney is the founder of Encore Salon Suites — the first Black-owned salon suite franchise — and a seasoned master barber and stylist with more than 10 years of experience.
What do you think about Porsha Williams’ budding romance with Sway? Thoughts?
The Volusia Sheriff’s Office says a man wanted after a video showed him allegedly beating and dragging his girlfriend in Daytona Beach earlier this week is now in custody.That man, 31-year-old Scott Knowlton, was taken into custody outside a residence in Ormond Beach on Saturday. The sheriff’s office released video on Friday that allegedly shows Knowlton beating and then dragging his girlfriend outside a business in Daytona Beach on Thursday. VSO Chief Deputy Brian Henderson witnessed the incident on Thursday and stepped in to interrupt the attack.Detectives received an anonymous tip about Knowlton’s location, and after several hours of surveillance, they spotted him exiting the home. VSO said Knowlton ran back inside after he realized he was spotted, before he then jumped out of a rear window.Knowlton was then arrested in the backyard by deputies who had surrounded the house.This is not Knowlton’s first run-in with law enforcement. In 2023, Knowlton pleaded no contest to drug trafficking and grand theft auto charges stemming from a 2022 arrest.Knowlton is now facing charges including kidnapping, possession of a weapon by an in-state felon, obstructing an officer without violence and tampering with evidence as well as being in violation of his probation.
VOLUSIA COUNTY, Fla. —
The Volusia Sheriff’s Office says a man wanted after a video showed him allegedly beating and dragging his girlfriend in Daytona Beach earlier this week is now in custody.
That man, 31-year-old Scott Knowlton, was taken into custody outside a residence in Ormond Beach on Saturday.
The sheriff’s office released video on Friday that allegedly shows Knowlton beating and then dragging his girlfriend outside a business in Daytona Beach on Thursday.
VSO Chief Deputy Brian Henderson witnessed the incident on Thursday and stepped in to interrupt the attack.
Detectives received an anonymous tip about Knowlton’s location, and after several hours of surveillance, they spotted him exiting the home.
VSO said Knowlton ran back inside after he realized he was spotted, before he then jumped out of a rear window.
Knowlton was then arrested in the backyard by deputies who had surrounded the house.
This is not Knowlton’s first run-in with law enforcement. In 2023, Knowlton pleaded no contest to drug trafficking and grand theft auto charges stemming from a 2022 arrest.
Knowlton is now facing charges including kidnapping, possession of a weapon by an in-state felon, obstructing an officer without violence and tampering with evidence as well as being in violation of his probation.
A Cal Fire captain is facing five felony counts in connection with the shooting deaths of his girlfriend and her young son, according to a criminal complaint filed in El Dorado County Superior Court on Monday.Those charges against Darin McFarlin, 47, include two counts of first-degree murder in connection with the deaths of 29-year-old Marissa N. Divodi-Lessa, of Shingle Springs, and her son Josiah Divodi-Lessa. Read the complaint here.The El Dorado County Sheriff’s Office has said that deputies responded to a report of a shooting at McFarlin’s home Thursday around 9 p.m. Marissa Divodi-Lessa was pronounced dead at the scene, while Josiah Divodi-Lessa died at the hospital. Another child was found safe in the home. McFarlin was detained in Mono County around midnight. The murder charges against him include special circumstances for multiple murders. They also allege the mother and her son were witnesses to a crime and killed for that reason. The court documents say the penalty for a conviction on those murder charges with the special circumstances would be death or life in prison without the possibility of parole. According to the complaint, McFarlin was also charged with the attempted murder of the second child and for injuring his girlfriend before her death. The complaint alleges that Mcfarlin injured his girlfriend in the bedroom “before she left the room and used her cellphone and before he obtained the gun and went out to the dining room to kill her.”The complaint also lists a felony child abuse charge in connection with the second child victim. McFarlin made an initial court appearance on Monday and pleaded not guilty on all counts. The El Dorado County District Attorney’s Office said the next key court hearings will include a status update on Sept. 29 and a preliminary hearing on Oct. 16.A Cal Fire representative confirmed to KCRA 3 that McFarlin is a fire captain in the Amador El Dorado unitIf you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or text ‘START’ to 88788.See more coverage of top California stories here | Download our app | Subscribe to our morning newsletter | Find us on YouTube here and subscribe to our channel
Those charges against Darin McFarlin, 47, include two counts of first-degree murder in connection with the deaths of 29-year-old Marissa N. Divodi-Lessa, of Shingle Springs, and her son Josiah Divodi-Lessa.
(Earlier coverage in the video above.)
The El Dorado County Sheriff’s Office has said that deputies responded to a report of a shooting at McFarlin’s home Thursday around 9 p.m. Marissa Divodi-Lessa was pronounced dead at the scene, while Josiah Divodi-Lessa died at the hospital. Another child was found safe in the home.
McFarlin was detained in Mono County around midnight.
The murder charges against him include special circumstances for multiple murders. They also allege the mother and her son were witnesses to a crime and killed for that reason.
The court documents say the penalty for a conviction on those murder charges with the special circumstances would be death or life in prison without the possibility of parole.
According to the complaint, McFarlin was also charged with the attempted murder of the second child and for injuring his girlfriend before her death.
The complaint alleges that Mcfarlin injured his girlfriend in the bedroom “before she left the room and used her cellphone and before he obtained the gun and went out to the dining room to kill her.”
The complaint also lists a felony child abuse charge in connection with the second child victim.
McFarlin made an initial court appearance on Monday and pleaded not guilty on all counts.
The El Dorado County District Attorney’s Office said the next key court hearings will include a status update on Sept. 29 and a preliminary hearing on Oct. 16.
A Cal Fire representative confirmed to KCRA 3 that McFarlin is a fire captain in the Amador El Dorado unit
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or text ‘START’ to 88788.
The signs that your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you can be worrisome, not only because a lack of intimacy can cause distance to creep in but also because it can indicate that she is beginning to lose interest in the relationship. For women, the emotional and physical aspects of a romantic connection are closely tied together. One cannot exist without the other.
When you see signs of sexual attraction from your girlfriend, it’s not only her physical desire that is manifesting but also her emotional connection to you. On the flip side, when these signs disappear or don’t exist to begin with, you can be sure there is trouble in paradise. But what do these signs look like? If your girlfriend turns down your advances a few times, does it mean sexual attraction is gone? What about if her sexual appetite doesn’t match yours?
Given that women’s bodies go through a hormonal ebb and flow month on month, changes in sexual desire and activity are not abnormal or even a cause for concern. However, when this lack of interest becomes persistent, you need to pay close attention. I’m here to help you identify when a lack of sex can be one of the signs your girlfriend is losing interest, backed by insights from some renowned sexologists and relationship experts.
15 Signs That Your Girlfriend Isn’t Sexually Attracted To You
I speak from experience when I say that signs that your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you are a harbinger of troubled times in a relationship. I was that girlfriend once. The emotional exhaustion from being at the receiving end of constant fights, name-calling, suspicion, and my partner’s alcohol abuse, made me pull away, little by little. All the warm, fuzzy feelings I once felt for him were replaced with a whole lot of nothing.
As my feelings began to die down, so did my interest in being intimate with my partner. As I’ve said before, for women, it’s not sexual attraction vs romantic attraction. One fuels the other. That’s why if sex with girlfriend has been less than exciting of late, you must dig deeper into the issue. A good place to start would be paying attention to the signs intimacy is gone because your girlfriend isn’t attracted to you anymore:
If you’re having less and less sex with girlfriend, that should be your first clue that something is amiss. Sexologist and relationship expert Dr. Nikki Goldstein says, “A sudden drop in sexual activity, paired with a lack of communication about it, can signal that she’s no longer feeling that sexual connection with you.”
Now, every relationship goes through a few dry spells here and there. Busy schedules, underlying tensions or unresolved issues, and hormonal changes can be just some of the factors that may diminish your girlfriend’s desire for sex. Usually, these spells pass once the underlying issue is resolved. However, if reduced sexual activity becomes the norm, it could be one of the signs your girlfriend is losing interest.
2. Excuses to avoid intimacy
She will use excuses to push you away
Relationship therapist and sex educator Dr. Laura Berman says, “When a woman loses sexual attraction, she may start avoiding physical intimacy, including things as simple as touching or kissing because it feels forced or uncomfortable.” At the same time, she may not be comfortable opening up about it to you, and as a result, she may frequently use excuses to avoid being intimate, such as:
I’m too tired
I’m too stressed
I’m bust
I don’t feel well
I have an early morning tomorrow
I need to sleep
3. She does not initiate sex
Toby, a marketing professional from Delaware, wrote to Bonobology, asking, “My girlfriend never makes a move on me. We have been together for over 6 months and during this time, she has never once initiated sex or expressed a desire to be intimate. The onus is entirely on me and it makes me wonder if she just plays along because she doesn’t want to turn me down. If so, why is it? Does my girlfriend love me or not? Am I reading too much into this situation?”
While a lot of women may have inhibitions about initiating sex, particularly at the beginning of a relationship, they do find subtle ways like flirting or using inviting body language to express their desire. A complete absence of interest in sex is a red flag.
“A key sign of waning sexual attraction is when your partner stops initiating sex or responds with indifference when you do. The desire to connect physically just isn’t there.”
—Dr. Ian Kerner, sex therapist
4. Frequently rejecting advances
Of course, there can be times when you want to be intimate and she doesn’t, and vice versa. And that’s perfectly natural for any relationship. However, if she rejects your advances 8 times out of 10, and when she does agree to be intimate, it feels like she’s doing you a favor, it’s one of the rather obvious signs that your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you.
5. She avoids sharing a bed with you
When trouble began brewing in my past relationship, I became averse to the idea of staying over at my boyfriend’s place or letting him stay the night at mine. I began planning our dates in such a way that it became easier for me to say goodbye and go my way. Even when we did hang out at either of our places, I’d try my best to wriggle out of spending the night, using any excuse I could come up with
“I left my laptop at home and I need it to finish a presentation”
“I think I left a load of laundry in the machine. Can’t just let it sit there overnight”
“I promised to housesit my friend’s dog”
If something similar has been going on in your relationship or even if your girlfriend avoids close contact with you in bed, it can be among the worrying signs of sexual attraction lacking in a relationship.
When these go missing, it’s one of the surefire signs intimacy is gone from your relationship. If your girlfriend is reluctant to engage with you flirtatiously even in your private moments, you have every reason to be worried.
7. Closed body language
Her body language will make her seem unapproachable
Most of the signs of sexual attraction between two people can be found in their body language. These include,
Leaning in
Prolonged eye contact
Smiling
Blushing
Maintaining physical proximity
On the other hand, crossed arms, turning away, and maintaining a distance are signs that a person isn’t interested in being close or intimate with you. If you have noticed a shift in your girlfriend’s body language, especially during your private or intimate moments—for instance, if you lean in to kiss her, as opposed to leaning toward you, she pulls back—it is one of the classic signs your girlfriend is losing interest.
8. Avoiding eye contact during intimacy
Avoiding eye contact during intimacy is a sign that your girlfriend no longer enjoys these moments of closeness with you because she doesn’t feel a connection or her feelings for you are changing. Clinical psychologist Dr. Alexandra Soloman says, “A girlfriend who is no longer sexually attracted may express this through subtle cues, like avoiding eye contact during intimate moments or seeming detached during sex.” This can, in turn, leave you wondering, “Does my girlfriend love me?”
One of the often-overlooked signs that your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you is that she rarely compliments you on your appearance or expresses her appreciation through words of affirmation or physical gestures like kissing you because you look particularly nice or leaning in for a hug to feel those abs you’ve been working on.
“If she stops complimenting you or doesn’t seem to notice when you make an effort to look good, it might be a sign that her sexual attraction is fading.”
—Dr. Terri Orbuch,relationship coach
10. Emotionally distant
Circling back to the conversation about sexual attraction vs romantic attraction experience for women, emotional distance and lack of sexual attraction are often interlinked. Clinical psychologist and sex therapist Dr. David Schnarch explains, “Emotional distance often precedes a loss of sexual attraction. If your partner is emotionally withdrawing, it can be a significant indicator that sexual attraction is waning.”
11. Boredom during intimacy
“If your girlfriend seems disengaged during sex, or if the intimacy feels more like a routine than an exciting connection, it might indicate a lack of sexual attraction,” says sex therapist Dr. Holly Richmond. This sense of disengagement can make it seem like she is almost bored, possibly even rushing through it or waiting for it to be over.
Ray, a college graduate, says, “I have been in a steady relationship since the first year of college. However, ever since we graduated, something seems to have shifted in our dynamics. My girlfriend never makes a move on me anymore. Even when we do get intimate, she is a passive participant. I can’t shake off the feeling that she’s fallen out of love but just hasn’t found a way to tell me.”
When your girlfriend is no longer drawn to you, sexually and emotionally, you will invariably notice a marked departure in attitude toward you and the relationship. The girl who once yearned for your company and would not miss any opportunity to spend quality time with you suddenly starts preferring spending time alone or hanging out with friends.
13. Avoids physical touch
Physical expressions of affection will begin to disappear from your relationship
The lack of sexual attraction will manifest beyond the dynamics of your sex life. One such example is that she’d start avoiding physical touch of any kind, be it holding your hand, cuddling with you while watching a movie, or lovingly stroking your hair. Psychotherapist Dr. Tammy Nelson shares this view and says, “Women who are not sexually attracted to their partners might show disinterest in touch and avoid being close, both physically and emotionally.”
14. Indifferent to seductive gestures
Picture this: You’re in bed with your girlfriend or watching a movie on the couch, and you start moving your fingers on her body or kissing the nape of the neck, and there is just no response from her. No squirming, no soft moans, no goosebumps. She doesn’t even look in your direction or ask you what’s going on. You eventually stop what you’re doing, and can’t help but wonder, “Does my girlfriend love me anymore?”
Well, your fears are not unfounded. A lack of responsiveness toward seductive or playful gestures is perhaps among the peak signs that your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you. There is definitely a deep, serious reason that has brought on this change in how she feels about you.
Psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Shannon Chavez says,“When a woman is no longer sexually attracted to her partner, she may lose interest in engaging in or discussing sexual fantasies, exploring roleplaying ideas or trying new things in the bedroom.” So, if sex with girlfriend has been limited to run-of-the-mill positions and follows the same rhythm every time, it’s a pretty strong indicator that she is not sexually attracted to you.
How To Cope If Your Girlfriend Isn’t Sexually Attracted To You
All of these heartbreaking signs may leave you wondering how to be sexually attractive to your girlfriend again. I hate to break it to you, it won’t be easy, unless, of course, the reason behind her waning sexual attraction are turn-offs like poor personal hygiene or bad breath. That said, it’s not impossible either. If you approach the situation with the sensitivity it warrants, you can find a way to recover from this setback. Here are a few tips on how to cope if your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you:
1. Open communication
Start by having an honest conversation with your girlfriend. Approach the topic gently, focusing on understanding her feelings and the reasons behind the change in sexual attraction. Open communication can lead to a better understanding of each other’s needs and concerns.
2. Focus on emotional connection
Strengthen your emotional bond outside the bedroom. Sometimes, a lack of sexual attraction can stem from emotional disconnection. Spend quality time together, engage in deep conversations, and show appreciation for one another to rebuild intimacy.
3. Avoid placing blame
Resist the urge to blame yourself or your girlfriend. Sexual attraction can fluctuate due to various factors, including stress, health, or changes in the relationship. Blaming can create resentment and further strain the relationship.
Focus on your self-esteem and confidence. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself, whether it’s working out, pursuing hobbies, or achieving personal goals. A confident mindset can positively impact your relationship.
5. Seek professional help
Consider seeing a relationship or sex therapist together. A professional can help both of you explore underlying issues, improve communication, and find solutions to rekindle sexual attraction. If you’re looking for help, skilled and experienced counselors on Bonobology’s panel are here for you.
6. Be patient
Understand that rebuilding sexual attraction takes time. Avoid pressuring your girlfriend or setting unrealistic expectations. Patience and understanding can help create a supportive environment where attraction can naturally develop.
Reflect on your relationship as a whole. If the lack of sexual attraction is a long-term issue and significantly impacts your happiness, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship is fulfilling your needs and if it’s worth continuing.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Why is my girlfriend not interested in me sexually?
Your girlfriend may not be interested in you sexually due to various reasons, including stress, emotional disconnection, or changes in her physical or mental health. Relationship dynamics, unresolved conflicts, or personal insecurities can also play a role. It’s essential to communicate openly and explore any underlying issues together, as her decreased sexual interest might not reflect her overall feelings for you but rather external or internal factors affecting her.
2. How do I test if my girlfriend is attracted to me?
To test if your girlfriend is attracted to you, observe her body language and behavior. Does she initiate physical touch, maintain eye contact, or flirt with you? Notice if she compliments you, engages in deep conversations, and shows interest in spending quality time together. You can also gently initiate intimacy or flirtation to gauge her response. Open communication about feelings and attraction is the most direct and effective approach.
Key Pointers
Lack of sexual attraction from your girlfriend can be worrisome because it can be a manifestation of her changing feelings toward you
Some of the signs that your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you include reduced sexual activity, avoiding intimacy, never initiating intimacy, lack of flirtation, a need for space, and no interest in experimentation
The issue can be resolved through open communication, patience, and understanding
Seeking professional help to identify the root cause of trouble and find ways to rekindle the spark can also prove beneficial
Final Thoughts
As heartbreaking as signs that your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you can be, they don’t have to mean the end of the road for your relationship. If you love your girlfriend and value the bond you share with her, you can find a way to reconnect with her and rekindle the spark.
Trouble in paradise? Wondering how to make your girlfriend smile? Is your girlfriend upset with you and you’re not sure why? You texted your buddy, “My girlfriend is mad at me, Help!”, but to no avail. Don’t worry, we can help you figure out what to do when your girlfriend is mad at you. But before discussing how to make it up to your girlfriend, here are some possible reasons why she may be mad. Check if any of these resonate with your situation.
“My Girlfriend Is Mad At Me” — 5 Possible Reasons
While there are many reasons your girlfriend can be mad at you, we’ve picked out some universal ones to make things easier for you. Once you have, at least, a vague idea of what’s wrong, you can then figure out how to reassure your girlfriend or use what words to make her feel special and trust you.
1. You may have done something that upset her
The most probable answer to, “I wonder why my girlfriend is mad at me”, is that you did something to upset her. You may have said or did something hurtful or maybe you forgot an important date. Try to remember if something went wrong from your side.
It is possible that your girlfriend’s love language isn’t being met, i.e. you are not loving her the way she wants to be loved. To figure out how to make it up to your girlfriend, find out what her love language is.
It is also possible that the anger isn’t specifically targeted at you. She may have too much on her plate, leading to irritation and a bad mood overall. This is more likely if she is a working woman and has gone through a job switch or a promotion recently.
4. She is feeling disconnected from you
While it may sound strange, sometimes girlfriends, including myself, get mad at their partners when they miss them. She may be experiencing complex emotions such as frustration, loneliness, and even insecurity. So, see if both of you have spent quality time together recently. Also check if she is always the one initiating or you are making enough effort from your end.
Your girlfriend is feeling disconnected with you
5. She is hormonal
Most girls experience mood swings before and during their period. This can mean getting sad, angry, frustrated, or all at once for no apparent reason. But how to make it up to your girlfriend when it wasn’t your fault in the first place? You need not worry, we have answers to that too. Just scroll down.
20 Impactful Ideas On How To Make It Up To Your Girlfriend
Now that you’ve figured out the ‘why’ part, let’s move on to the next problem. What to do if your girlfriend is mad at you? Maybe you need a list of gifts to say sorry to your girlfriend, or find the right words to make her feel special and trust you. Or maybe you need to take the puppy-eyes approach and come up with cute ways to say sorry over text. Don’t worry, we got you. Here are some ideas on how to make up to your girlfriend:
1. Have a discussion
As they say, communication is key. So, sit down with your girlfriend and have a heartfelt conversation about what went wrong. These are the points you should discuss:
What are the emotions that she is feeling?
What triggered these emotions?
How can you make her feel better?
Once you understand her perspective, it will be easier for you to resolve the situation.
2. Offer a genuine apology
If she is angry because of something you said or did, your first action should be to apologize sincerely. Only a ‘sorry’ would not suffice. Here are some tips on how to say sorry to a girl you hurt:
Start by acknowledging what you are sorry about
Express your remorse over the action and how it made her feel.
Explain your perspective (but don’t make excuses).
Reassure her that the action will not be repeated.
When figuring out how to say sorry to a girl you hurt, make sure to reassure her that whatever went wrong won’t happen again. This is very important to make sure that the issue is fully resolved and does not lead to another fight.
4. Compliment her
This is how to make it up to your girlfriend 101. Compliment her! And be specific. Generic compliments like “you are pretty” don’t sound genuine. A Reddit user explains how to come up with sweet things to say to your girlfriend, “GIrls like to be noticed. What do you notice about her, the way she speaks, the way she raises her hand, the way she is with animals?”
“What do you like about her? Compliment her on that! Compliments mean more when they come from the heart.
5. Make her dinner
They say the way to a man’s (well, woman in this case; honestly, this applies to everyone— who doesn’t like food?) heart is through his stomach. So if you’re wondering how to make up to your girlfriend, you can never go wrong with cooking. Bonus points if you cook her favorite meal because it shows that you know her well. Double points if your girlfriend prefers acts of service as a love language.
6. Cuddles and kisses
Nothing like some cuddles and kisses to make her anger melt, especially if she is a physical touch girlie. But make sure to take consent as she may not prefer physical affection when upset.
7. Plan a date
If your girlfriend is mad because you are not making time for her, what better way to make up than to plan a date? A planned date shows your girl that:
You know her well enough to notice she was upset and figure out why
You care enough to take time out of your day to make it right
And most importantly, you planned the whole date so she didn’t have to make any decisions
8. A thoughtful gift
If reading this made you go, “But I never know what to give her”, trust me, you do know. You can come up with plenty of gifts to say sorry to your girlfriend, only if you pay attention. Here are some ideas:
Remember the dresses she called cute but couldn’t buy the last time you went shopping? Buy that
Or a nail polish/lipstick in her favorite color
Is she artsy? Then art supplies will make her eyes light up!
Does she read? Pick a genre she loves and buy her a book. Or 4
What to do when your girlfriend is mad at you because she’s overwhelmed or stressed? Take over some tasks. If you are living together, review the distribution of the household chores. Is it fair or can you take up more chores? If living separately, see if you can help out with any external tasks like setting up bill payments, doing taxes, commuting to work, grocery shopping, etc.
10. Offer a relaxing massage
While you may not always be able to help with the work, you can always offer a massage to help her relax and reduce the stress. Plus, this helps build intimacy and strengthens your bonding.
11. Let her take some ‘me time’
Another great way to help her relax is to suggest some ‘me time’, where she can unwind at her own pace by binging her favorite show, listening to some music, or maybe taking a long bath. Bonus points, if you can help prepare for the activity beforehand (Putting together a playlist or drawing a bath).
Let her enjoy some me time
12. Schedule a spa appointment
If the above points are not enough to alleviate the stress, a spa appointment will surely make her loosen up. Surprise her with a spa appointment, either solo or couple, depending on your relationship dynamic.
13. Plan a vacation
This may seem a little extra and, of course, you don’t have to go on a vacation every time there is a quarrel. But if you are already due for a vacation, this may be a good time to change the scenery and reconnect after a fight.
If both your routines have been ‘work, eat, sleep, repeat’ for a while, look for a new activity to try together. This is especially helpful for people who favor quality time.
Here are some ideas:
Take a new class (like dance or pottery)
Explore a part of the city you haven’t visited
Try a new cuisine
Go to an escape room
15. Make a sweet gesture
If she is feeling disconnected from you and you are wondering how to reassure your girlfriend of your love for her, a small romantic gesture goes a long way. You can bring her flowers, make her a card, or write her a poem or a love note. You don’t have to be Shakespeare, a few heartfelt lines can do the trick. Just list some sweet things to say to your girlfriend, put it in her diary, or stick it on the fridge. It is bound to make her smile. This Reddit thread offers some great ideas, such as:
Tell her how much you appreciate her and how she makes you life better.
Send her a song that reminded you of her.
Send her some memes. Girls love memes.
Tell her you love her. Tell her WHY, the why is always important.
16. Spontaneous slow dancing
This is one of those cliché romantic ideas that always work. Just play her favorite song, extend your hand, ask, “May I have a dance, M’lady?”, and watch her melt.
17. Bring her a snack
This is a one-size-fits-all solution. Whether she’s upset, hangry, stressed, or hormonal, a snack or sweet treat is guaranteed to make things better.
18. Make an ‘I love you because’ list
This is an extended form of a love note. List down all the things you love about her. Be specific and include little details. Here are some things you can include in an ‘I love you because’ list:
Appearance (Eye color, hair style, sense of fashion, an specific outfit)
Intellectual (intelligence, emotional capacity, any skills she has)
Habits (the way she curls her hair or jumps up and down when excited)
19. Try Texting
As dating norms evolve, cheesy texts have slowly replaced love letters. If you are one of those couples who enjoy texting, come up with some cute ways to say sorry over text and make sure to add plenty of emojis.
20. Make her smile
As a boyfriend, you probably know how to make your girlfriend smile. Be silly, crack an inside joke, you know, all the cutesy stuff that makes her lovingly go, “you are an idiot”.
Infographic On What To Do If Your Girlfriend Is Mad At You
Girls are simple. They don’t always need some grand gestures or expensive gifts. There are many small acts you can choose from to make your girl feel special. Have a glance at the infographic below for a quick idea on how to make up with your girlfriend.
What to do when your girlfriend is mad at you
Key Pointers
Communication is key. Sit down with your girlfriend and ask her what went wrong
Make a genuine apology
Find out her love language and choose a way to make her feel better accordingly
Sweet gestures go a long way: Write a love note, poem, or a cute texts
A snack or a home-cooked meal may perk her up
Final Thoughts
To sum up, there are various reasons your girlfriend could be mad at you. Talk to her to find out how to make it up to your girlfriend. If it is something you did, make an apology coupled with a gift or a gesture. If it is a mismatch of love language, find ways to love her how she wants to be loved. Schedule some quality time to strengthen your bond. Small gestures also go a long way. The point is to remind her that you love her and care for her.
Juhi and I have been together for 6 years. However, we have been arguing with each other daily. We argue about minor things like food preferences or even about what we should watch on tv. And sometimes we argue about major things like her helping her friends and family financially even though we are both saving up money for our personal lives and dreams. Although we love each other, I sometimes feel like there is a growing emotional distance between both of us. Sometimes, when we argue, it feels like she wants to hurt me. She says will poke at things she knows I am sensitive about. These arguments are affecting our intimacy levels too and sometimes I feel like we don’t even trust each other. How can I make my girlfriend love me again? I just want things to be the way they were earlier. The arguments are not only becoming an emotional distress for us both, they are now spilling to our family and loved ones too. What can I do?
Answer
Constant or frequent arguments in a relationship chip away at the connection and safety that partners experience with each other. Not only does it add to your stress, but it prolongs the experience of draining emotions such as disappointment, anger, sadness, etc. Naturally, this lack of safety, connection and shared positive emotions leads to distance in the relationship.
A few things to keep in mind about conflict:
Partners often get caught up in proving themselves right and the other wrong. It’s important to remember that there is no objectively true experience here. While both you and your partner may have experienced the same event, your experience and understanding of that event will be unique, and can be diametrically opposite. Repeat to yourself: two things can be true at the same time.
A lot of these arguments can seem like they’re happening over small, pointless things. When it feels like the response to a given situation is an overreaction, it is safe to assume that the actual problem is not what appears on the surface. A couple arguing over the correct way to cook rice isn’t really arguing about the rice, but the feeling that both experience of the other not validating their experience. Notice the underlying problem. What is this argument really about?
Couples often keep a score board of fights they “won”, wherein one partner was proven right, while the other apologized. If you want a healthy, loving relationship, throw this scoreboard out the window. What’s more important – your relationship or being right?
Notice the patterns in your conflict. Often, your partner will do something that really triggers you, and vice versa. Once you begin to notice them, trace them back to their origin. Chances are, you’re projecting how you felt back then onto the current situation. It helps to ask, “What about my partner makes me respond like this?”
You need to balance out negative interactions with your partner with positive ones. Make an effort to spend quality time together.
Normalize taking time outs from aggravating conversations, but remember to promise to get back to discussing the topic when you have calmed down. Make sure your partner doesn’t feel abandoned in the middle of conflict.
Remember that it is both of you vs the problem and not you vs your partner.
Don’t disrespect or harshly criticize your partner in front of others. Such tactics of humiliation may stroke your ego for the moment, but are disastrous for your relationship. Imagine how deeply hurt and betrayed it would feel to know someone you love bad-mouthed you.
Criticism is often a disguised wish. We criticize things when we wish they were different. Notice the wish you are trying to convey, change your words accordingly, and say that. It makes a world of difference.
FAQs
1. How to make my girlfriend love me again?
The most important thing here is to rebuild safety and connection in the relationship. That requires: 1. Emotional vulnerability 2. Not using your partner’s vulnerability as an opportunity to hurt them 3. Spending quality time together 4. Appreciating your partner for everything they do 5. Addressing and making peace with difference of opinion
2. Why is my girlfriend always mad at me?
If anyone seems to alwaysbe mad at you, not just your girlfriend, they likely have a strong underlying concern which has not been properly addressed. Your girlfriend might have repeatedly complained to you about the same thing over and over again, and maybe no change followed through
3. How to fix things with your girlfriend?
Give it time and be patient with her and yourself If you want things to change between you, things will have to change within both of you Apologising is not beneath you, and neither is modifying your behavior so that you don’t hurt your partner, or vice versa While you work on repairing things between you two, it’s important to simultaneously work on building good memories and feelings. This is what gives your relationship the strength to last through difficult times
Think you know your girlfriend like the back of your hand? Ready to put your knowledge to the test and maybe even learn something new? This “How Well Do You Know Your Girlfriend?” quiz, created by a relationship counselor, is designed to be both fun and insightful.
It’s not just about scoring perfectly (although bragging rights are encouraged!). This quiz is about sparking meaningful conversations, practicing active listening, and deepening your connection with your partner. Whether you’ve been together for months or years, strong communication is vital for a stable relationship.
Remember, the true value lies in the conversations this quiz ignites. It’ll help you start discussing her likes and dislikes, how she feels deep down and so much more. Use it as a springboard to listen attentively, share stories, and create lasting memories together. Happy quizzing!
PLAINFIELD, Ill. — A Plainfield man accused in a violent attack against his girlfriend is facing a handful of charges, according to Joliet police.
Officers say 52-year-old Jonah Madia has been charged with domestic battery, unlawful use of a weapon by a felon, unlawful possession of ammunition, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, aggravated discharge of a firearm, endangering the life or health of a child, manufacture and delivery of cannabis, possession of cannabis, and possession of explosives.
Authorities say the charges were handed down after Madia allegedly beat his girlfriend and threatened to shoot her at a home in Plainfield on Friday night.
Joliet police say officers were first called to the home in the 6300 block of Clifton Court, just before 9 p.m., after reports of a loud disturbance.
Officers say when they arrived on the scene, they were let into the two-story home by a 6-year-old child and after entering the residence, officers immediately heard a disturbance on the second floor.
Officers say they went upstairs and found Madia in a bedroom of the home where he was detained. His 38-year-old girlfriend was then located in another bedroom.
According to police, an investigation then revealed that Madia had allegedly grown angry with his girlfriend, grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head against a wall several times, causing her to fall to the floor.
Authorities say following the alleged attack, it is believed that Madia allegedly retrieved a gun from a bedroom and pointed it at the woman while threatening to shoot her. He then allegedly fired the gun two times into the bathroom floor and once into the bedroom floor.
Officers say the woman was not struck by gunfire.
Following an investigation, officers say they retrieved a loaded gun from the bedroom.
While taking Madia into custody, authorities say they spotted suspected cannabis and narcotics in the home.
After securing a search warrant, detectives searched the home early Saturday morning and allegedly recovered over 800 grams of suspected cannabis, suspected LSD, commercial-grade fireworks and ammunition.
Authorities have not provided details on how the child is related to the suspect or the victim.
Contemplating when to propose to your girlfriend? It can be an emotional rollercoaster, entirely natural to feel a bit jittery about such a significant move. That’s where our relationship expert comes in. Dhriti Bhavsar, a relationship counselor armed with a master’s degree in psychology, understands the weight of this decision. Crafting the “When Should I Propose To My Girlfriend?” Quiz, she provides a thoughtful guide for those standing at the intersection of commitment and uncertainty.
It’s crucial to wait to pop the question until you sense that your relationship has matured. Marriage brings its own set of challenges, particularly as your families merge. This decision becomes even more significant if you aren’t already living together since sharing a space can be rocky at the start. If there are still unresolved issues, it’s best to wait before proposing. Entering into marriage with lingering challenges might introduce additional strain that could potentially harm your relationship.
Whether you find yourself looking at rings as you pass by jewellery stores or if your girlfriend has been sending a few hints your way, Dhriti’s insights aim to make this monumental decision a bit less scary. So, if the thought of proposing to your girlfriend has your heart racing, take a moment, dive into the quiz, and let Dhriti’s expertise shed light on this crucial chapter in your relationship. It’s not just about when to propose but ensuring it feels right for both of you as you embark on this exciting journey together.
Choosing cute names for your girlfriend is not just a sweet gesture, but a meaningful way to express how much you love her. According to a study on cute pet names, “90% of Americans who use nicknames like “beautiful,” “gorgeous,” and “honey” for their partners were content in their relationship, compared to just 56% of couples who don’t use pet names at all.”
My friend’s girlfriend personally loves being called adorable pet names. Her eyes shine brighter when he calls her something giggle-worthy and personal to their relationship. He’s said to me that it makes them feel closer to each other. I think having sweet nicknames for each other does in fact create a deeper bond.
If you are looking for such pet names, we have come up with a whole list of cute nicknames for girls. From classic pet names to imaginative and personalized female nicknames, you’ll find a wide range of cute names to call your girlfriend here.
Cute Nicknames For Your Girlfriend
You deserve this list of the best nicknames as it’s a delightful way to express affection and closeness in a relationship. These names somehow reflect and strengthen your bond with your lover and add an extra layer of charm to your connection. For the sake of that love, here is a list of some cute names to call your girlfriend:
1. Sweetie 2. Bubbles 3. Darling 4. Cutie pie 5. Angel 6. Love 7. Cutie 8. Sweet pea 9. Babe 10. Honey bunch 11. Sugar 12. Little bug
Girls get used to you using nicknames for them and once you stop, she’ll think something’s wrong. So keep finding goofy and quirky names for her.
Romantic Nicknames For Girlfriend
Crafting romantic nicknames for your girlfriend can add a tender and passionate touch to your relationship, evoking an intimate and emotional connection that is uniquely yours. Selecting such a unique nickname can beautifully symbolize the depth of your feelings and create a private world of shared affection between you and your lover. Given below is the list of some cute names for your girlfriend or wife:
29. Beloved 30. Baby girl 31. My heart 32. Soulmate 33. My queen 34. Munchkin 35. Sweetie pie 36. Kitty 37. Better half 38. Sweet bun 39. Angel eyes 40. Snowflake 41. Peach 42. Bunny 43. Wife 44. My everything 45. Treasure 46. Enchantress 47. Apple of my eye 48. My other half 49. My one and only 50. Best friend 51. My lady 52. Bebe 53. My joy 54. My forever 55. Lady luck 56. Tootsie roll
Funny Names To Call Your Girlfriend
Adding some humor into your relationship through playful and cute names for your girlfriend can give a delightful angle to your bond. However, while choosing a funny nickname, you need to be careful. They should be appropriate and you need to take care of the fact that it does not offend or belittle your partner. If you’re running short of ideas, we are here to help you with the list given below:
Flirty nicknames for your girlfriend can ignite a playful and seductive dynamic. They can also be used in bed, or you can just use them to tease each other endlessly. This fun form of love heightens intimacy and keeps the flames of desire burning. Here are some sexy and flirty nicknames that you can call your partner:
87. Hot stuff 88. Gorgeous 89. Sexy thing 90. Foxy
91. Little mama 92. Sweet cheeks 93. Lovebird 94. Flirty kitten 95. Bonita 96. Sexy mama 97. My brat 98. Firecracker 99. Angel face 100. Babe-licious 101. Bombshell 102. Dreamboat 103. Mommy 104. Ginger spice 105. Hot tamale 106. Cherry pie
Affectionate Nicknames For Your Girlfriend
Cute nickname for girls can serve as tender expressions of your care. These names carry the depth of your feelings for your beloved. These are more than just terms of endearment. They represent a unique and cherished bond between partners, reflecting the care, admiration, and closeness shared in a relationship. Given below is the list of some affectionate nicknames that beautifully convey the warmth and fondness you hold for your dearest.
107. Sweetheart 108. Bubs 109. Blossom 110. My rain 111. My lotus 112. Kiddo 113. Honeybun 114. Choco babe 115. Heartbeat 116. My love 117. Birdy 118. Fluff 119. Shortcake 120. Bubblegum
121. Pixie 122. Booboo 123. Ocean eyes 124. Fudge 125. Nutter butter 126. Dreamgirl 127. Jam 128. Love bug 129. Light of my life 130. Cupcake 131. Miss sunshine 132. Dreamboat 133. Queen of my heart 134. My hope 135. Blueberry 136. Sugar lips
Nicknames in Different Languages For Your Girlfriend
Would you pick cute nicknames for your girlfriend in your own language? Or another? Certain words in a different language might describe your emotions more clearly. They portray your eternal love in a beautiful and poetic way. Here are some cutesy nicknames in different languages that you can choose for your girlfriend.
147. Mi reina 148. Mi amor 149. Mi alma 150. Mi vida 151. Mi cielo 152. Bombon
How to make you girlfriend blush? Call her something cute.
Italian nicknames
153. Cara mia 154. Amore mio 155. Vita mia 156. Bellezza 157. Coccinella 158. Mia amata
French nicknames
159. Ma belle 160. Mon chou 161. Mon mignon 162. Mon bébé 163. Mon amour 164. Ma moitié
Urdu nicknames
165. Ya rouhi (my soul) 166. Jannat-e-khatoon 167. Pari 168. Sarai 169. Noori 170. Husna
Nicknames in a relationship should be personalized so that they become your special thing. According to a Quora user, you should not give your girlfriend any random pet name. Instead, give her a name that goes with her features like her hair or eyes.
Finding or creating cute names for your girlfriend is a gesture that shows your affection for her. These words should carry all your love and trust and that special warmth of your bond as well. Just make sure that your partner loves the name as much as you do and while choosing a funny nickname, be careful not to hurt her feelings.
Relationships, at the best of times, are challenging affairs to navigate, and past sexual trauma makes them even more difficult. A WHO report states that 1 in 3 women are subjected to physical or sexual violence globally. Even more worrying is that 1 in 4 girls/women aged 15 to 24 years have experienced some form of sexual abuse or violence by an intimate partner. Have you been seeing everyday signs your girlfriend was sexually abused in the past, and is part of these alarming statistics? If you’re dating a sexual abuse survivor, then you need to educate yourself on this subject.
So, what constitutes sexual abuse and sexual trauma? According to psychologist Nandita Rambhia (MSc Psychology), who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couple’s counseling, sexual abuse is defined as “exposure of a person to any kind of inappropriate sexual behavior by another person. The abuse could be physical, sexual assault, molestation or rape, or could also include verbal sexual abuse. Sexual trauma occurs when sexual abuse causes the victim a great deal of stress and prevents them from functioning optimally.”
Let’s try to identify the signs your girlfriend was sexually abused in the past. So that you can support her with a greater degree of sensitivity and awareness.
11 Possible Signs Your Girlfriend Was Sexually Abused In The Past
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (ACOG) defines sexual abuse, especially child sexual abuse, as any type of sexual activity where consent is not or cannot be given. This will include any sexual contact that is accomplished by force or the threat of force. Legal definitions vary by state, and state guidelines are available here. If you go through these, you might even spot subtle signs your girlfriend was sexually abused in the past, even when she’s not vocal about it.
Some people think they ‘deserve’ to know the details of their partner’s past abuse. A Reddit user says, “Reliving it isn’t necessarily a healthy thing to do with you. Maybe in therapy with a trained counselor, but again, that’s her choice. This isn’t about you.” Another Reddit user says, “It’s a personal tragedy that I have no place in needing to know … Exposing the wound just so you can take a look inside when she hasn’t healed enough will just make things worse.”
This is why we’ve created a list of signs someone was sexually abused in the past, so you know exactly how to support your partner even when she’s not ready to share.
Having a difficult time building an intimate relationship is a common sign that your partner may have been sexually abused in the past. Those with a history of past sexual abuse often have difficulty in forming and maintaining emotional intimacy with their partners. This stems from their traumatic experiences of sexual abuse, which makes it difficult for them to trust others and be vulnerable with a man. The fear of being hurt again may manifest in several ways:
Reluctance to open up about their thoughts and feelings
Changing topics when the conversation gets deep
Signs of discomfort with physical touch like hugs and caresses
Recognizing these signs of sexual abuse for what they are will help deal with the issue. Do not read her responses as indicative of rejection or a lack of interest but rather as a coping mechanism. This will create a safe and supportive environment in which your girlfriend can learn to deal with her fears and become comfortable with intimacy. Empower her and focus on the things she can do well, instead of what she’s unable to.
2. She avoids sexual contact
Nandita says, “Avoiding sexual contact is one of the more obvious signs your girlfriend was sexually abused in the past. She may seem traumatized and scared of sexual touch.” This avoidance of sexual intimacy may take different forms, such as:
She flinches from physical touch
Her body may tense up during physically intimate moments
She remains unresponsive to any advances
She avoids any suggestion of engaging in sexual activity
Avoiding sexual relationships is common for those with a sexual abuse history or those who have been through childhood sexual abuse. The past sexual trauma will have affected your girlfriend’s understanding of what intimate relationships are all about. In her mind, intimacy and sex have negative associations with pain and trauma. Overcoming this can take a long, and often painful, process of healing and grief.
Some sexual abuse survivors try to avoid any triggers that may remind them of the incident(s). These will include locations, discussions, acts, or even positions that may make them feel vulnerable. It is important for you, as a partner and loved one, to be understanding and to provide emotional support.
The trauma of past sexual abuse may make your partner uncomfortable with physical intimacy
3. Signs someone was sexually abused in the past: Flashbacks and/or recurrent nightmares
The signs of your girlfriend having survived sexual abuse in the past are remarkably similar to PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder. This remains true even if the incident occurred a long time ago. Pressurizing her in any way will just aggravate the situation and alienate her further.
According to Nandita, “Symptoms of PTSD are common amongst those who have been sexually abused. These would include flashbacks of the past and recurrent nightmares. These are signs that her brain is trying to process and come to terms with the traumatic event of her past. Along with this, she may also suffer from disturbed sleep and insomnia. She might dissociate a lot too.”
4. She may suffer from depression, anxiety, and panic attacks
Nandita says, “For abuse survivors, certain situations may trigger heightened anxiety or depression. The situations may be centered around certain people or places, things that in her mind are associated with past trauma. The anxiety may manifest as emotional outbursts which seem disproportionate to the moment, seemingly caused by unrelated events.”
Dealing with these dating and social anxiety or panic attacks, says Nandita, will require acceptance and acknowledgment on both your parts that her current behavior is rooted in her past abuse. It will need to be treated with great love and compassion. Getting her to seek support from a trauma-informed mental health professional would also be greatly beneficial to her.
5. An abuse survivor might be clingy
Dating a sexual abuse survivor may mean having to put up with clinginess. This type of behavior is usually caused by the fear of being abandoned and may lead to an over-dependence on your relationship. While this can prove difficult at times, it would do well to remember that her past abuse caused these negative beliefs.
Being clingy in a relationship is her coping mechanism, helping her deal with her vulnerabilities, and once again calls for plenty of patience, understanding, and compassion on your part, as well as gentle boundaries.
6. Your girlfriend might be a people-pleaser
She may be unable to say no to people, even when it is at the cost of her boundaries and will. This is typical people-pleasing behavior. While it is her way of ensuring stability and no confrontations, it does not make for healthy relationships. The behavior is typical of people who suffer from low self-esteem and is directly linked to her past sexual abuse, which has deeply affected her self-image.
“My partner went through sexual abuse at an early age,” shares 25-year-old Rick from Montana. “She often said yes to small things in the relationship, which I could detect she wasn’t really into. Certain trip plans, or where to eat, or how to spend a day. I started thinking that I don’t really know her. She ultimately told me some things about her past and has now been trying to, over the last six months, say ‘no’ when she’s not into something. It’s a big deal for her to be able to do this.”
7. Sign that you are dating a sexual abuse survivor: She has low self-esteem and low self-worth
“Survivors of sexual abuse might feel a lot of shame, guilt, and humiliation over their past trauma due to societal stigma or upbringing. As a result, they often suffer from low self-esteem,” says Nandita. Sexual assault and sexual abuse survivors are often made to believe that they are to blame for the abuse. These feelings of shame and guilt over time contribute to a feeling of worthlessness. This can manifest in many ways:
Lack of self-confidence
Withdrawn behavior, especially in large groups
Indecisiveness: Approval is sought before/after almost every decision
Signs of self-harm or self-injury
Substance abuse
You need to remind yourself repeatedly that these behaviors are not a part of her natural personality but have been caused by her sexual abuse experience. She’ll need time, empowerment, and emotional validation to slowly rebuild her self-image and gradually lift her self-esteem. For more serious issues such as substance abuse and/or alcohol abuse, you should get her to seek professional help or, at the very least, seek support from friends or support groups to get her started on her healing journey.
8. You notice self-destructive patterns
What are the signs of sexual abuse that are sometimes the hardest to deal with? We asked our readers. “A pattern of self-destructive behavior. It was a coping mechanism that my girlfriend exhibited to deal with her intense emotions from past trauma. I had to stand on the sidelines and watch her punish herself for a long time,” shares Ling, 27, a reader from San Francisco.
In a study on childhood sexual abuse as a precursor to self-destructive behavior in adulthood, it was concluded that the more frequent the abuse and the longer its duration, the more depression and self-destructiveness was reported in adulthood. The above behaviors are caused by deep-rooted emotional pain and are not a conscious choice. So try to be more empathetic while approaching such situations and keep a non-judgemental frame of mind. And help her seek a mental health professional who can provide her with the tools to deal with these sexual abuse after-effects.
9. There are physical symptoms of sexual abuse too
Physical signs of past sexual trauma may not be very apparent to you. A medical professional will be more adept at spotting these signs. Some of the common physical symptoms would include:
Chronic pain in the abdominal or pelvic region
Eating disorders
Self-neglect
As per a study, there is an increased likelihood of substance addiction as a result of past sexual abuse trauma
Being physically inactive
Obesity
For these reasons, it is essential for your girlfriend to seek therapy. Getting her to do so would require plenty of patience on your part and should not be rushed.
10. Your girlfriend might display varied sex-related behaviors
As stated earlier, your girlfriend may have trouble with intimacy and sexual contact. But you may notice other effects too:
Her association of sexual activity with physical pain and violation may cause disturbances in her sexual desire levels as well as in arousal, causing her to experience a degree of sexual dysfunction
Or she may have a history of multiple sexual partners
She may have contracted sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV, in part due to low self-worth and not caring about her well-being
Studies have shown that unwanted pregnancies or sex work are associated with sexual abuse, too
She might not want to have any discussion around sexual assault and harassment with you, or may go quiet when such conversations occur in a group setting
11. She might suffer from gynecological issues
A study on abuse and gynecologic health showed that 61% of raped or abused women had some form of sexual .dysfunction. Almost the same percentage had gynecologic problems. Your girlfriend may also be suffering from gynecological issues such as chronic pelvic pain, dyspareunia, vaginismus, and non-specific vaginitis.
She is less likely to have had regular Pap tests and may be reluctant to consult a doctor, often brushing off any ailment as something minor. She needs trauma-informed care from someone who understands that it’s not easy for her to get an invasive procedure like a Pap test.
Important resources for sexual abuse survivors
All mental health experts would agree that the consequences of sexual abuse are varied and long-lasting, and the road to recovery is long and fraught with difficulties. Below are some resources that can help you deal with this subject:
How To Approach The Topic Of Sexual Abuse With Your Girlfriend
Loving a sexual assault survivor means you need to be an ally to the movements where survivors and victims are believed. Should you suspect that your girlfriend has been sexually assaulted or sexually abused in the past, take care in how you approach this topic with her. Some recommendations on how to handle this tactfully include:
Ensure that this conversation is attempted in a quiet and safe space with no distractions or interruptions
Start by letting her know of your concern and that you desire to support her
Helping your girlfriend through trauma recovery from sexual abuse will require plenty of knowledge and empathy on your part
You need to understand the fundamentals of support to create a consistently kind, nurturing environment where she feels safe and not judged
She will be more likely to open up when she is ready to talk about it, and trying to force her may achieve the opposite effect
Do not judge her, and be respectful of her boundaries
Whenever you hear on the news or in your social circle that someone has been abused, show her where your solidarity lies so she knows you are a consistently safe person to speak to
Address the issue of sexual abuse of your girlfriend with a lot of patience, love, and zero judgment
An anonymous author on Quora who had experienced sexual abuse had this to say about broaching the topic with a loved one: “It is important that you treat it in a matter-of-fact way and not as a stigma.” She adds that you should tell her there are plenty of people who have been through the same ordeal, and that she’s not alone.
The first step in achieving this, says Nandita, is acknowledging that there is an issue. The desire to move forward and seek help will only come after this. The ACOG website states clearly that traumatized patients generally benefit from mental health care. In this regard, your girlfriend’s obstetrician/gynecologist can be a powerful ally in helping her heal by offering support and referring her to a therapist with significant experience in dealing with abuse-related issues.
How To Help Your Girlfriend Heal From Sexual Trauma
Nandita reminds you that, as a partner, you need to be extremely sensitive to the fact that she has suffered past sexual abuse. Being sensitive requires you to have a high level of understanding of the issue. She suggests dealing with it very slowly, with much patience and care. One of the first things to remember is that every survivor is different, having been affected in a unique manner. This makes their journey in recovering from the trauma unique.
A Reddit user shares, “Don’t try and force her to talk about it if she isn’t ready. Keep making yourself available and be a good listener. Don’t treat her any differently, it could make her feel more alienated. Let her lead her own healing process, but be there to support her along the way.”
Here are some of the steps that you can take:
Go through survivor stories and research; learn about sexual abuse and its effects (during and after) and all the reasons a person doesn’t/can’t speak up
Be open-minded and attentive when listening to her
Never blame her. Tell her she didn’t deserve any of this
Focus on building trust with her by doing activities that make her feel safe and happy: As a team, adopt healthy habits such as eating healthy or regular exercise. Pick a hobby for couples and pursue it together
Avoid giving unsolicited advice
Avoid pressuring her when it comes to talking about the past
Avoid pressuring her when it comes to intimate matters. If you can’t do this, you should step away from the relationship gently
Encourage her to meet friends and family, and to maintain a journal
Don’t treat her like she’s fragile, and don’t pity her
Find out online or in-person support groups and share the information with her
Support Yourself While Supporting Your Girlfriend
Loving a sexual assault survivor is easy, if you’re a good ally to sexual abuse victims and survivors, regardless of their gender. But learning allyship, without pause, can drain you emotionally. Remember to take care of your emotional well-being and practice self-love. You can only help her if you are well, so do not hesitate to seek the help and support of friends and family, or your therapist.
Key Pointers
Here are some signs your girlfriend was sexually abused in the past: Difficulty with intimacy, either verbal or physical, different degrees of discomfort with sex, disturbed sleep, anxiety, or panic attacks
The long-term effects of sexual abuse vary widely and can affect a survivor in all areas of their life, from the physical to the mental as well as emotional
Dealing with a survivor of sexual abuse can be challenging and calls for a lot of understanding, empathy, and patience
Seeking help from a professional will go a long way in mitigating these challenges
Try to remain non-judgemental and patient in your dealings with her, and don’t associate her silence on this topic as an indication of lack of trust in you. If either of you needs support, skilled and licensed counselors on Bonobology’s panel are always here for you. We know you both got this.
“Why does my girlfriend hit me?” — Men hesitate to confess this personal crisis. A study says, “Domestic violence against men covers a broad range of violent acts such as physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, or financial abuse.” It’s quite underreported due to the myths surrounding male survivors. According to the CDC, 1 in 10 men have experienced some form of intimate partner violence (IPV). The perpetrators could vary across genders.
Our expert, relationship coach Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couple’s counseling, addresses the issue of domestic abuse, “Physical violence is absolutely wrong. Regardless of gender, education, or socio-economic status, violence must be treated with the same seriousness and outrage.”
We hope you never reach a stage during the course of your relationship where you find yourself asking, “Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?” This article will tell you about 11 potential causes for your girlfriend’s violent behavior and offer helpful tips on how to handle this difficult scenario. By doing this, we intend to raise awareness around intimate partner abuse, encourage empathy, and give victims the confidence to get the support they deserve.
“My Girlfriend Hits Me” — 11 Possible Reasons Why You’re A Victim Of Domestic Violence
Many domestic violence offenders verbally, emotionally, or physically attack without provocation. Anyone who has witnessed domestic violence destroys a family or a relationship may be curious as to why someone would act in such a way in the first place.
Nandita answers, “Abuse frequently signifies a failure on a woman’s part to effectively express and regulate her emotions. It doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it could point to a problem with emotional control and communication.” What then are the primary reasons for abuse? What could be the causes of domestic violence in a relationship that seems happy? We discuss ahead.
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In order to look out for each other, we must be aware of the warning signs of domestic abuse in our families and neighborhoods. And if you are dealing with the “why does she hit me?” crisis personally, recognizing the signs of an abusive girlfriend is crucial for your well-being and safety in the relationship. Knowing these 11 possible reasons for domestic violence in a relationship will help you get ahead of the problem before it escalates even more.
1. Lack of communication skills
Some women may resort to violence when they struggle with effectively expressing their feelings and frustrations. They might not have learned healthy communication techniques or may have grown up in an environment where aggression was used as a means of communication. In such cases, domestic violence can become a way for them to convey their emotions or make their point when they feel unheard or dismissed.
Nandita suggests, “To address abuse, improving communication is essential. Selecting a time period in which there are no conflicts ensures that both the people can communicate without feeling very emotional or overwhelmed.”
2. Her abusive behavior stems from emotional issues
“My girlfriend is abusive, but I could only leave her after three months of going through that emotional pain. She was manipulative every day. And now she says she wants me to come back.” — Merc, a teacher from Pennsylvania, shares with us. A study states, “Female IPV perpetrators tend to engage in more coercive and controlling behavior than physical abuse.”
People with unresolved emotional problems or past traumas may have difficulty managing their emotions in a healthy way, creating a toxic relationship. These unresolved issues can manifest as intense anger, sadness, or anxiety, which can sometimes lead to outbursts of violence as an unhealthy coping mechanism.
3. She has anger management problems
Some ask, “Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me when she’s mad at something else?” Individuals with anger management problems struggle to control their anger when they become enraged. This can occur when they feel provoked or triggered by a situation or person. The problem can be exacerbated by a lack of awareness around coping skills or a history of unaddressed conflicts. If your girlfriend has anger issues, it should involve open communication and support from both sides, not violence.
4. Relationship stress can lead to her anger issues
“Is itokay for my girlfriend to hit me if I made a mistake?” NO. Ongoing conflicts and tension can create a hostile and emotionally charged environment. In such situations, emotions can build up over time, leading to heightened frustration and anger. Stressors such as financial problems, infidelity, or differing expectations can contribute to relationship abuse. Consider going to individual therapy or couple’s therapy in this case, instead of hitting your partner.
Nandita says, “In order to address and avoid violence in a relationship, it is crucial to understand a partner’s triggers and pinpoint the underlying reasons for the mental or physical abuse. There are different triggers, such as stress, unsolved issues, poor anger management, and old traumas that could lead to the relationship abuse inflicted by your girlfriend.”
5. She could be modeling the behavior she learned from family
If someone grew up in a household where violence was normalized, had an abusive parent, or witnessed family members resorting to violence as a means of resolving conflicts, they may be more likely to replicate that behavior in their own relationships. This is often a learned behavior, where individuals view violence as an acceptable or even expected way to deal with problems.
Nandita suggests, “A good starting point for dealing with male domestic violence in a relationship is making your partner understand the need for therapy to deal with deep-rooted issues. During the recovery period of the abuser, both partners must be compassionate and cooperate with each other in order to pinpoint triggers, pursue therapy as needed, and create more constructive dispute resolution techniques.”
6. Jealousy and insecurity have taken hold of her
Many may wonder, “Is it okay for my girlfriend to hit me if I flirt with someone?” The answer is a resounding no; violence is never acceptable — even if you’re micro-cheating on her. Feelings of jealousy and insecurity can be powerful emotional triggers in a relationship. This person may become fearful of losing their partner or believe that their partner is being unfaithful. The aggressor may believe that using violence will prevent their partner from leaving or straying, even though such actions are harmful and counterproductive.
Substance abuse is a huge red flag in general, as it involves the excessive use of drugs or alcohol, which can have a significant impact on an individual’s behavior and decision-making. According to Nandita, when under the influence of these substances, a person may experience:
Impaired judgment
Reduced inhibitions
Decreased self-control
Intensified negative emotions, which amplifies conflicts
This leads to mental or physical violence as a way to cope with or respond to perceived threats or stressors. If you’re wondering “What should I do if my girlfriend hits me every time she is under the influence of alcohol or drugs?”, it’s crucial to take immediate action to ensure your safety. Tracy (name changed), a reader, wrote to us: “My toxic girlfriend beats me when she’s drunk. But it only happens once a month or so. Is my girlfriend abusive or should I be understanding?”
Yes, Tracy. Your partner is abusive. Nandita adds, “Aggression and impulsive behavior seem to rise with substance misuse. Drugs and alcohol have been shown to worsen underlying emotional problems. However, addiction treatment reduces hostility while also enhancing general mental and physical health.”
These are the possible reasons why you are facing domestic violence
8. “Why does my girlfriend hit me when I’m doing well in life?” For power and control
Do you often sit alone and wonder, “My girlfriend is abusing me ever since I asserted myself a little. Why does she do this?” Domestic violence is a deliberate pattern of behavior used to establish authority, superiority, and surveillance toward a partner.
Some control-freak women use violence as a means to assert power and control over their partners. This is often part of a pattern of abusive behavior aimed at maintaining dominance in the relationship. The abuser may employ various tactics, such as intimidation, threats, or isolation, to make sure the partner doesn’t leave them.
In some cases, past issues or unresolved resentments within the relationship can build up over time, creating a toxic emotional environment. When an individual holds onto these negative feelings without addressing or resolving them, they may release their frustration through physical aggression. Intimate partner violence is used as a way to express their pain, anger, and resentment in a relationship when they feel unable to communicate their emotions effectively.
Chess, a skater from L.A., shares with us, “One day, I finally gathered the courage to reach out to my friend: ‘Please don’t laugh at what I’m about to say. I’m serious. My girlfriend hits me, what should I do? I know she’s mad at me but she won’t tell me the reason.’ Reaching out to trusted people is essential, that’s what I’ve learned from my ordeal. Men face quite a lot of stigma in this area and are often mocked.”
10. She’s going through mental health issues
We’ve often heard people say “My girlfriend’s mental health is affecting me.” Underlying mental health issues can contribute to violent behavior in some individuals. Conditions such as Borderline Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Impulse Control Disorders, or any kind of mental illness can affect a person’s ability to regulate their emotions and impulses. Let’s talk about these disorders:
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Individuals with BPD often struggle with intense mood swings, impulsivity, and unstable relationships. If she’s suffering from BPD, she may experience intense anger and fear of abandonment, which can lead to outbursts of violence as a way to manage her emotional turmoil or maintain relationships
Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD): People with ASPD may exhibit a pattern of aggressive behavior and manipulation in relationships. They may lack empathy and remorse, making it more likely for them to engage in violent acts without guilt or regret
Impulse Control Disorders: These disorders, such as intermittent explosive disorder (IED), are characterized by difficulty in controlling aggressive impulses. Such individuals may react violently to minor provocations or stressors, which is a huge sign of possible domestic abuse
Research on domestic violence against men, published in The National Library of Medicine, states that prevalence rates of domestic physical violence against men ranged from 3.4% to 20.3% and factors such as alcohol abuse, jealousy, mental illness, physical impairment, and short relationship duration are linked to a higher risk of men becoming victims of domestic violence.
This is one of the key signs of an abusive girlfriend. In certain cultures or communities, physical aggression may be viewed as a legitimate way to resolve disputes or assert dominance. However, this normalization of abuse can create an environment where violent behavior is not only accepted but expected in certain situations. Here’s how it can impact individuals and relationships:
Difficulty identifying abuse: Victims of domestic violence in cultures or communities where violence is normalized behind closed doors may have difficulty identifying that they are being abused. They may rationalize or downplay the violence, not making a big deal out of it and believing it’s a customary way of resolving conflicts; so the abuse continues
Acceptance of violence: When intimate partner violence is normalized, individuals may grow up believing that physical aggression is a normal and acceptable response to conflicts. This acceptance can make it challenging for them to recognize that such behavior is abusive and harmful, deteriorating their mental health. They may be less likely to seek help or intervention when they are victims of violence. This takes a hit on their self-esteem
Breaking free from the cycle of normalized violence often requires education, strong mental health, and awareness of relationship dynamics. Communities and organizations that work to raise awareness about domestic violence can play a crucial role in helping individuals recognize and address abusive behavior.
If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1.
For anonymous, confidential help, 24/7, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
Is It Normal For My Girlfriend To Hit Me?
It goes without saying that physical abuse in a romantic relationship is aberrant and completely unacceptable, much like emotional abuse and mental abuse. Respect for each other, trust in one another, empathy, and open communication are qualities that define happy, safe, and loving partnerships. You’re not in a relationship to be your partner’s punching bag.
An excerpt from an issue of The British Journal of Criminology clearly states, “Some research findings reveal that women are as likely as men to perpetrate violence against an intimate partner.” Conflicts and disagreements are an inevitable element of human contact in a good relationship, but not abuse or violence. For scenarios of domestic violence, a coercive control checklist will prove to be a good paradigm for a professional to assess your state.
Have they ever hit you? If yes, did they make you feel it was your fault?
By using this checklist, professionals and individuals can better recognize and address situations of coercive control, promoting healthier and safer relationships. No one should put up with abuse, and seeking support and assistance is not a show of weakness; rather, it is a brave move toward ending a damaging cycle.
What To Do If Your Girlfriend Hits You — 7 Ways To Protect Yourself
Remember, playful hitting is different from violence. You may ask, “Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me on my shoulder with love?” Tell us this. Does it harm you? Does it make you uncomfortable? Does she keep going even if you’re not in the mood to be teased? If not, then you’re still in a healthy relationship. But if you find yourself in a situation where your girlfriend is physically harming you, it’s essential to prioritize your safety and well-being. Dealing with an aggressive girlfriend requires taking steps to protect your well-being and seeking help.
Nandita says, “Seeking expert assistance is crucial when a girlfriend starts to severely mistreat you in your own home. Professionals have the knowledge to delve deeply into the psychological, behavioral, and emotional factors behind the violence. To effectively address these challenges, they can provide direction, methods, and therapeutic approaches.”
Although ending an abusive relationship can be difficult, it is a brave move toward guaranteeing your health and taking back control of your life. Here are seven steps to protect yourself from physical abuse:
1. Remove yourself from immediate danger
“My girlfriend slapped me twice in a week. I went numb. I kept thinking of reasons why my girlfriend is mad at me instead of calling her out on her abusive behavior,” shares Pete (name changed), a reader from New Jersey. If this happens to you, prioritize your physical safety.
If possible, leave the immediate vicinity to avoid further harm. Keep an escape plan ready if you are in a domestic partnership. Go to a public place or a friend or family member’s house if you can. Try to remain calm and discuss the worst-case scenarios with your loved one(s) to get them out of your head.
2. Call the authorities
“My girlfriend beats me” is not something we hear often, and societal stigma plays a huge role here. Contact the authorities or emergency services if you are in immediate danger or have been injured. Law enforcement can and should ensure your safety and provide you with legal protection without disbelieving you.
Addressing this relationship issue immediately is very crucial for you. If you have been injured, seek medical attention promptly. It’s essential to document any injuries, as this can be important if you decide to involve the legal system. Especially if you think your partner can perpetuate violence again.
4. Talk to someone you trust
A case study in the International Journal of Environment, Ecology, Family and Urban Studies (IJEEFUS) discussed that men find it much harder to get out of the trauma of violence because of the disbelief and stereotyped reaction from their friends and families. Which is why we cannot overemphasize the importance of seeking help.
Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor who can provide emotional validation, support, and guidance. Share your experience with someone who can help you through this difficult time. We hope, with time, you go from “Why does my girlfriend hit me?” to “I need to get out of this relationship.”
5. Consider a restraining order
Nothing good can come from staying with someone who hit you. If you fear for your safety and need legal protection, consult with an attorney about obtaining a restraining order or a protective order against your girlfriend. This can legally prevent her from approaching you or your residence or workplace.
It’s not normal for your girlfriend to hit you and this problem should be addressed immediately
6. Document the abuse
A common question: “My girlfriend is abusing me, what should I do to prove that?”Keep a record of any incidents of physical abuse, including photos, videos, dates, times, locations, and descriptions of what occurred. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to involve law enforcement or seek a restraining order.
Reach out to a therapist who specializes in domestic violence or relationship issues. If you have been contemplating, “Why does my girlfriend hit me?”, then seeking such guidance can help you navigate the maze of questions in your head. Just so you know, skilled and licensed counselors on Bonobology’s panel are always here for you.
Nandita says, “Because counselors maintain strict secrecy, seeking counseling in situations of domestic violence can create a safe environment. Restraining orders, contacting law authorities to protect immediate safety, or requesting aid from domestic violence shelters and support organizations are just a few examples of legal actions that can be taken.”
Key Pointers
No matter one’s gender, educational qualifications, or ‘status’ in society, anyone can be a perpetrator or victim of abuse. Safety should always come first
Using physical force in relationships is never acceptable and can result in physical and emotional scarring that lasts a lifetime
Violent outbursts of your girlfriend can be a coping mechanism for excessive anger or anxiety brought on by unresolved emotional difficulties and past traumas
Hostility in a partner might accumulate as a result of relationship stress, disputes, or tension, which can cause emotional outbursts and occasional physical violence
To address the root causes of abuse and create coping and healing methods, professional assistance is advised
Seek help from the law or friends/family or social services, document the abuse, get a restraining order, or move out of your house to somewhere safe to get yourself out of harm’s way
The act of violence within a romantic relationship is a deeply concerning issue that demands both attention and action. While it is essential to understand some of the possible reasons behind domestic violence, it is equally crucial to emphasize that there is never a valid justification for abuse.
Recognizing that you are a victim of domestic violence is the first step toward seeking help and taking action to protect yourself. It is essential to reach out to professionals, support networks, and organizations dedicated to assisting individuals facing domestic violence. It is equally important for society as a whole to raise awareness about domestic violence, challenge harmful gender stereotypes, and promote healthy relationship dynamics. Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you navigate this challenging situation.
In 2023, news about Lilith, who goes by toxiccwaste0 on TikTok, went viral when she admitted to having female narcissist traits, which included skillfully manipulating people in the past. She was formally diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder in 2021 but now describes herself as a “reformed narcissist.”
Narcissism is a collective term for people with a personality disorder called Narcissistic Personality Disorder – NPD. According to Dhriti Bhavsar, counselor, MSc. in Clinical Psychology, “Some of the identifiers of a narcissist woman are a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, preoccupation with fantasies of success, brilliance, beauty etc. and interpersonally exploitative behavior.” Simply put, the definition of a narcissist woman, in the context of this article, would be a woman who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder – NPD.
Learning about female narcissist traits is important, especially if you are in a relationship with a narcissistic woman. Many of the traits, especially in the milder cases, are similar to cases of Borderline Personality Disorder. They can be so subtle that differentiating between the two disorders can be quite challenging, even for a mental health professional.
What Is Female Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
The incidence of NPD seems less in the case of women. In the narcissistic female, the symptoms will be less severe, making detection difficult. As to how to identify a narcissist woman, certain obvious narcissist traits in females can help with that. “This may be due to the over-representation of males in research and literature,” according to Dhriti. “Women are likely to show vulnerable narcissism or covert female narcissist traits. These could manifest in traits such as shyness, hypersensitivity, and apparent low self-esteem.”
Statistics show that only 4.8% of females will develop NPD as against 7.7% of their male counterparts. Explicit traits of a self-involved female will depend upon a range of factors depending on the type of narcissism. Both men and women narcissists share several common traits. Despite the widely held belief that more men are narcissistic than women, a study shows that there has been no systematic review to establish the magnitude and stability over time of this gender difference.
Some of the different types of Narcissistic Personality Disorder are:
Overt narcissist (grandiose narcissist): More common among male narcissists, grandiose narcissism is characterized by grandiose behavior and entitlement
Covert narcissist (vulnerable narcissist): Covert female narcissist traits present as shy, reserved, and insecure
Communal narcissist: One who appears to be very giving and selfless with their time and money, always using charity as a means to promote their image
Malignant narcissist: One who combines the traits of NPD with Antisocial Personality Disorder and can exhibit a dangerous lack of empathy while preying on others
Healthy narcissist: As characterized by some professionals, they tend to exhibit high self-esteem along with other NPD traits, but these do not seem to cause problems for them (these are especially challenging to diagnose)
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Some studies indicate that narcissist traits in females might be more of the covert or communal type, while overt and grandiose narcissism is higher in the case of male narcissists. In female narcissism, the differences may be attributed to gender roles. A study shows that as compared to male narcissists, female narcissist traits include:
Less severe traits that characterize NPD
Less grandiose and entitled behavior
Lower levels of physical aggressiveness
Greater empathy levels
Greater emotional sensitivity
These traits tend to make it more difficult to make a diagnosis, so female narcissists have a greater chance of being misdiagnosed.
It is important to know how to identify a narcissist woman. She tends to exhibit covert female narcissist traits. A study shows that she tends to be less impulsive and entitled in her behavior while also being more empathetic than her male counterparts. A narcissist woman will also tend to have certain distinctive traits, such as being constantly fixated on their appearance and a greater tendency toward jealousy and envy.
Dhriti adds, “They come across as more needy to garner more attention and sympathy from people around them. They are usually less aggressive and entitled than male narcissists but yes, they do tend to be a little more empathetic.”
Here are 13 narcissistic traits that are common among female narcissists. An aging female narcissist may exhibit an increase or a decrease in these traits depending on her age and mental health access.
1. They are extremely self-centered and self-absorbed
Being self-centered or self-absorbed is a primary narcissistic trait of those with narcissistic personality disorder. Just like a male narcissist, a female narcissist has an inflated sense of self and will go on endlessly about herself and her life without paying any heed to others.
Female narcissists will not ask how others are doing
Attempts to change the subject of a conversation will be met with disinterest while they will quickly bring the subject back to themselves
They like to talk about their real and imagined accomplishments, and can be quite egotistical
Intimacy with them can make you think that everything is about them
2. A narcissistic woman will rarely apologize or admit fault
Female narcissists will never admit to being wrong and will never apologize. They will, instead, attempt to blame other people for anything that goes wrong rather than take responsibility for their words or deeds.
A female narcissist will:
Twist the situation by deflecting blame onto someone else
Not care about the effect it could have on that person
Be extremely manipulative
3. Narcissistic women can be extremely petty
An inability to look at the bigger picture makes them extremely petty and nitpicky. Often, a narcissistic woman will get stuck on small things that seem irrelevant in an attempt to lay blame elsewhere. A female narcissist can obsess over the smallest of slights. The obsessiveness can lead to deep resentments that may compel her to seek revenge. The tendency to fixate on perceived wrongdoings is at the root of their petty and jealous nature and makes them come across as extremely bitter people.
4. Narcissistic females can be obsessed with image and social status
While a common trait of both men and women with NPD can be a shallow and superficial nature, this trait manifests as being overly materialistic in narcissistic women. As a result:
Female narcissists are high-maintenance women, overly concerned with brand names and other status symbols that reflect wealth
They are also obsessed with physical appearance, image, social standing, and social media
You should know about these narcissistic traits of a woman
5. Self-absorbed women with this disorder are usually addicted to social media
The self-absorbed trait of a narcissist is exhibited differently in females than in males. Here’s how it manifests in women:
Female narcissists are more wrapped up in their social media accounts and constantly post selfies while publicly documenting every aspect of their lives
All this in an attempt to get more likes and followers online
Their involvement in their online persona is so complete that they may have trouble distinguishing between their virtual and real selves
They would rather be on their phones than spend time with their friends or partners allowing their relationships to suffer from this neglect
6. Narcissist women are experts at exploiting others
An exploitative nature is one of the most prominent female narcissist traits in relationships. Lilith, the TikTok user who was diagnosed with NPD, said in one of the videos, “Everything that I said or did was planned and thought out to get reactions and to get people to do certain things… So I pushed people to really bad places… so that I could have more control over them.” Clearly, female narcissists are adept at exploiting others for their personal gain.
In this trait, they are no different from their male counterparts. However, female narcissists will use manipulative tactics that are different from the ones used by men. For example, studies show that they will use manipulative and passive-aggressive behaviors in their exploitative attempts more often than men. The emotional and psychological toll that is extracted from their victims is the same. These include a sense of shame, feelings of helplessness, and emotional flashbacks. Chronic cases may even experience symptoms similar to PTSD.
7. Women with NPD are extremely vain
Both male narcissists and female narcissists are extremely vain, but in the case of the female narcissist, this usually translates into a huge fixation on their physical appearance. The obsessiveness with their appearance shows up like this:
They are extremely sensitive to any comments directed at their appearance, weight, and attractiveness
The most innocuous of comments can be misconstrued as criticism, making them fly off the handle
The obsessiveness with appearance can result in excesses such as extreme dietary habits and excessive cosmetic surgery
8. A narcissistic woman will use her sexuality to manipulate
Dhriti says, “A narcissistic woman will use sexually coercive tactics such as seduction and threatening to leave. Conversely, men prefer to use a more physically coercive approach to achieve their ends.” If you are dating a narcissist, you would be able to relate to these female narcissist traits in relationships:
Using their sex appeal to manipulate others to their own ends
Wearing revealing clothes and using a lot of makeup to enhance their sexuality
Sexual seduction, also known as “sexual narcissism.” It is a part of their armory and is used to manipulate others
Involvement with people who can help or support them in their endeavors – A kind of parasitic sexual relationship
9. Female narcissist traits: Appearing shy and reserved
Female narcissists are often of the covert narcissist type. This means they tend to differ from the typical narcissist in their outward behavior.
They tend not to be too grandiose, entitled, and arrogant but instead present as shy and withdrawn individuals who are insecure
This insecurity and low self-esteem are usually present in combination with other narcissistic traits that indicate covert narcissism
The shy and reserved nature of the female narcissist may seem at odds with their vanity and constant need for approval
This is why they may tend to avoid large gatherings and prefer smaller and more intimate ones with people they are familiar with
10. Narcissistic women can be super-sensitive
The female narcissist tends to be more emotional than her male counterpart and is a lot more sensitive to comments with a tendency to overreact.
Female narcissists frequently misconstrue what’s been said as they take everything personally, imagining slights where none were intended
This over-sensitive, self-centered nature and low self-esteem cause them to be easily offended and hurt
Their reactive nature makes them prone to lashing out at others
Female narcissists also tend to be more moody and emotional and can suddenly withdraw into themselves when upset
11. They can be clingy and overly dependent
Female narcissists exhibit very clingy and dependent traits in their romantic and other relationships. Dhriti says, “They overly invest in relationships and tend to see their partner as an accessory. The low self-esteem of a female narcissist will make her constantly seek out praise and reassurance from those around her. Without this praise and reassurance, she may become moody, withdrawn, and reactive. She will try to remain in control by understanding the partner’s psychology.”
12. Narcissist women are usually manipulative
Research has shown that female narcissists are more likely to use manipulative tactics such as passive-aggressive behavior to manipulate others to further their own selfish agenda. This is unlike the male narcissist, who tends to be more physically aggressive.
They also frequently play the victim by trying to appear helpless and vulnerable. This trait is commonly used at the beginning of a relationship, serving as a way to lure someone in. Female narcissists also play the victim card to get someone to do things for them. This common trait of the female narcissist probably has some linkage with traditional gender stereotypes.
Other common manipulative and passive-aggressive tactics employed by the female narcissist would include:
An individual’s overall level of functioning is a useful gauge of the severity of their narcissism. A female narcissist with a higher level of NPD will tend to have shorter and more unstable relationships in their personal and professional lives. This inability to form stable relationships can translate into many outward manifestations. Female narcissists may:
Have trouble taking care of their financial affairs
All of these narcissistic traits in this personality disorder do not have to be present for a woman to be considered a narcissist. These traits can be present in a female narcissist in various combinations and with varying intensities.
Also, the aging female narcissist may exhibit an increased level of narcissism, with some experts attributing this increased narcissism to a sense of entitlement that comes with age. The combination and intensities will help an MHP diagnose the type of narcissism presented and its position on the spectrum of NPD.
6 Tips To Deal With Narcissist Women
Dealing with a narcissistic woman is not an easy feat and can be stressful at the best of times. Whether she is a family member, a partner, or a female friend, a relationship with a woman with such a personality disorder can turn out to be quite a toxic experience. Learning to deal with such a personality while also safeguarding your health, especially if you have mental health issues, can be quite challenging.
Here are a few tips to help you deal with a narcissistic woman. In fact, they can help you deal with both male and female narcissists.
1. Get to know her behavioral patterns
Dhriti suggests, “Learn more about NPD. This will help you understand the tactics and behavioral patterns a female narcissist uses to manipulate and maintain control. These will include tactics such as playing the victim, trying to induce a guilt trip, and gaslighting. Pay attention to these, as it can help you identify the patterns of a narcissistic relationship and avoid falling for them. Keeping a diary of these occurrences can help, but make sure you keep the diary locked away safely.”
2. Set boundaries and enforce them with narcissist women
This may prove to be difficult if you are in a relationship with a narcissist, but it is all the more essential then. Boundaries will help lay down what is acceptable and what is not in the relationship, something that will help you avoid narcissistic abuse. Dhriti says, “It is essential to learn to speak up when someone does something uncomfortable. By setting healthy boundaries, you will protect yourself from becoming a target of their manipulative efforts.”
3. Focus on building your self-esteem
Dhriti suggests that you focus on building up your self-esteem and self-worth. This is because both male and female narcissists usually prey on people with low self-esteem, as they tend to be easier to manipulate. Engaging in positive self-talk and practicing positive affirmations, while avoiding negatives in your statements can help you achieve that.
4. Avoid validation and criticism
Don’t feed a female narcissist’s need for gratification. Cut off this narcissistic supply of paying too much attention to their every statement or need. Doing this may only serve to make you a victim of narcissistic abuse. At the same time, avoid criticizing or saying anything that could be perceived as a threat, as they are highly sensitive creatures.
Dhriti adds, “Narcissistic females are often very preoccupied with their personal appearance and are more prone to fits of jealousy and envy.” The narcissistic woman may lash out and seek revenge when her self-image is threatened. It is also important to note that they are extremely competitive individuals, so avoid getting into a competitive situation with one as you may be perceived as a threat.
Dealing with a narcissistic woman is a difficult task and requires a lot of patience on your part. Do not lose your temper, as that will cede control to her, something you want to avoid. Losing your temper tells her where your buttons are. She will use this knowledge to her advantage in the future and manipulate you to her advantage.
The more you lose your temper, the more she will know exactly how to manipulate you to get her ways
6. Seeking help can become important if you want to deal effectively with a narcissistic woman
If you feel that your mental health is being affected by your relationship with a narcissistic woman or that you are being subjected to narcissistic abuse, then you should seriously consider getting help from a mental health professional. Some of the signs you should look for, indicating you need help, include:
Look for a professional who is experienced in dealing with personality disorders, preferably with narcissism. This will ensure that you get the best help. Just so you know, skilled and licensed counselors on Bonobology’s panel are always here for you. A mental health expert can help you to:
Become knowledgeable about NPD and narcissistic traits
Learn to set boundaries
Learn effective communication skills
Learn how to cope with a narcissist specifically
Learn how to increase your self-esteem
Key Pointers
Self-centeredness, shallowness, and vanity are some of the common traits of a female narcissist
As you get to know them, other traits will also be apparent — Pettiness, hypersensitivity to any criticism, and manipulative tactics are some of the common ones
If you are in a relationship with a female narcissist, you must learn how to handle these traits effectively
This can be done by learning to communicate, setting personal boundaries with narcissistic women, and asking for help if needed
A narcissistic woman can be difficult to spot as her narcissistic traits are not as easily apparent as a male narcissist. There are, however, certain common traits of narcissistic women – Although of a lower intensity than men. They are obsessed with image and usually addicted to social media as it feeds their narcissistic supply. They exploit people using their sexuality and other tools. Narcissistic women are super sensitive to criticism and can be overly clingy and dependent.
Because of these behaviors, their relationships tend to be short-lived. Once you recognize the traits of a female narcissist and identify their manipulative tactics, you can avoid playing into their hands and protect yourself. Be sure to seek professional help if you feel that your mental health is being affected.
‘Pooh Bear’, ‘Won Won’, ‘Catnip’, or even ‘Mrs. Darcy’ are a few of the pet names for couples that rarely make sense yet are sweet nicknames or arguably even the best nicknames. You could spend days trying to understand the evolution of these but there’d be little point to it. Nicknames rarely follow rules of grammar and most of them come to life from a random incident (read Starbucks’ baristas messing up your names). Nicknames are meant to be used affectionately, not dissected in a linguistics class.
“What’s in a name?” said Shakespeare. But nicknames often have more substance than names. Good couple nicknames, even if they’re not logical, tell a story of their own. Unlike names that are given to a person, a nickname is earned. Unless it’s one of those shortened versions of a name like Robert, it becomes Rob. But doesn’t your best friend or your other half deserve more originality than that? Don’t they deserve creative nicknames? They do and we’ve got you covered.
Unique Couple Nicknames
Pet names for couples have come a long way from ‘beloved’ to ‘bae’ and from ‘ sweetie pie’ to ‘sweet cheeks’. Unique couple nicknames have been observed to create a positive effect on a relationship. Research has suggested a direct correlation between interpersonal love language and relationship satisfaction. They observed that ‘idiosyncratic communication’, i.e., nicknames, expressions of affection, and any other ‘couple speak’ or phrases or jokes developed within the relationship, are associated with relationship satisfaction. Let’s check out a few that have out-of-the-ordinary names, like Shining Armour Bugs, Love Bugs, or Arrow Chip:
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1. Muffin and donut
If both of you have a sweet tooth, names of desserts could be good ideas for pet names for couples. This could also be a cute way to say “I like you” over text. Such a sweet nickname!
2. Duke and Duchess
Move over the prince and princess. The best way to address your partner is by using the highest hereditary title as a cute couple’s name. More titles that you could use could be ‘Earl’ and ‘Countess’, ‘Knight’ and ‘Dame’, and ‘Baron’ and ‘Baroness’.
3. Cathy and Heathcliff
Something for the bookworm souls. You could also choose a less star-crossed couple for nicknames for couples, like ‘Miss Bennet’ and ‘Mr. Darcy’, or something not-so-romantic like ‘Ishmael’ and ‘Moby Dick’. Maybe an idea for matching bios for couples
4. Beau and mi Amor
For couples who belong to different nationalities, a great idea would be to use terms of endearment from their language or from their significant other’s. Other examples include ‘Estimado’, ‘Papi’, ‘Schatz’, ‘Eazizi’, or affectionate words from any languages that you are familiar with.
5. Captain Peach-butt and Catwoman
If both of you are into superhero culture, then maybe you can adopt a few superhero names to match your personalities. This could be such a fun thing to do as a couple. However, it’d be advisable to keep these pet names for couples in the bedroom if they’re sexually suggestive.
6. ‘My sun and stars’ and ‘moon of my life’
These terms of endearment from the series Games of Thrones could be found on merchandise everywhere after the first season. If you’re into fantasy, you could use a good couple nicknames from fantasy books or series.
You can never go wrong with flower names to suggest romance. These are some of the perfect nicknames. Some people wrongfully consider flower names to be effeminate. Nicknames for couples don’t have to follow conservative gender roles.
8. My lord and my lady
For the couple who is big on the formality of the British class system. Salutations like these or ‘Your Honor’ and ‘Your Grace’ would work perfectly for you. This is such a cute thing to say to your boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner.
9. Bobby and Bobby
Something that you could do is use the same nickname for each other if you want unique pet names for couples. Useless but fun fact: my husband and I use the nickname ‘Poopy’ for each other. The name came into being the day both of us contracted diarrhea and we decided to keep track of who pooped more in a day. The bottom line is that love is stupid.
The best thing to use for nicknames for couples is to use the personality traits of your significant other. While reading Bet Me by Jennifer Cruise, I realized that everyone had some sort of nickname that suggested their personalities, like ‘Charm Boy’ for the charming Cal, who everyone thought was a womanizer, and ‘Stats’ for Min, who would constantly throw statistical facts at people. And it was the same for their couple friends. Find these kinds of creative pet names for your lover boy, or girl.
Romantic Pet Names For Lovers
Researchers show that using nicknames that are ‘cutesy’ can increase the attraction one’s partner feels for them. It’s best to look for verbal and non-verbal cues to ensure your partner likes their nickname. Here are a few romantic nicknames you can use for your partner, regardless of their gender.
1. Babyface
If your boyfriend or husband is one of those people whose face looks like it hasn’t aged a day since he was born, then maybe this nickname will work great for him. It’s just a super cute way to express your feelings to someone you love.
2. Dumpling
Dumplings, momos, or dim sum are great romantic pet names for lovers
3. McDreamy
Grey’s Anatomy fans will remember this one as the best and most common pet names for couples. The name suits a couple who are full of charm and have great looks. This name could also be left on cute notes for him that would surprise your man every day.
4. Dreamboat
It’s a charming pet name to call your loved one. Using “Dreamboat” can be a delightful way to express your admiration and affection for your partner.
5. Teddy bear
Take a leaf out of Elvis’ notebook and call your partner your teddy bear. Tell them they remind you of the teddy bear you slept with in your childhood. Ever so soft and always present to ward off any monsters under the bed. This is the most common pet names for couples yet it is so beautiful, like a cutie patootie.
6. Yum-yum
Another great name for your partner, is if you think they’re so cute and good looking that you could just eat them up. Or ‘Nom-nom’ if they love food. It could be one of those cute nicknames to call your boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner.
7. Rio
If you are a Money Heist fan or maybe a ServiceNow developer, city names work great as nicknames for couples. Particularly the names of the characters in the show.
Fun fact: in certain cultures, butter is often used as a term of endearment. Another cute name for your partner is Butters, if they’re just as soft and make everything smooth and decadent.
9. Hot Pie
Game of Thrones added a lot of words to the modern lexicon. But Hot Pie, as a couple’s nickname for your partner, is an underdog.
10. Hunky-dory
One of the other cute nicknames for couples apart from Hundy-dory is ‘ My Knight Sailor’, that not only suggests cuteness but is also a term used to express satisfaction
Using cute nicknames for your partner can be considered an assurance of a stable relationship
Cute Nicknames For Couples
Nicknames connote an intimacy reserved for partners in a relationship. Often, nicknames also suggest normalcy in a relationship. Many people can recognize the hints of trouble when their first names or full names are used by their significant others. So, as long as none of the partners have an issue with the nickname, any pet names for couples can be adopted, and usage over time will become a code for a relaxed environment.
Using cute nicknames for your partner can be considered an assurance of a stable relationship. It’s almost like a relaxing gift to relieve stress. Here are cute nicknames for your partner;
1. Sassy
Fans of Korean cinema would recognize this. If your partner is sassy, cheeky, or just plain badass in cute unicorn shorts, then this could be the name for them.
Angel Eyes would work great as a pet name for couples if you think your partner is an angel that landed on Earth to take care of you.
3. Galway girl
You could always use names representing your partner’s roots to show affection for your partner. Ed Sheeran did. So, if your girl uses ‘wee’ and ‘grand’ a bit too often in that delicious Irish accent, this is the name for her.
4. Barbie
If your partner looks like a full-sized Barbie or is crazy about these dolls (grown-ups are allowed to like dolls), then it could be the name for her.
5. Shortie
Do not underestimate short people. They compensate for the short height by doing death-defying stunts just to get that jar off the high shelf. And isn’t it so adorable to hug them? This could be a cute pet name for couples.
6. Tall glass of water
If your partner is what makes you relaxed on a hot, tiring day, like a tall glass of water, then this is the name for them. This nickname could also be a great tip for dating a taller woman.
7. Baby girl
As much as I have said ‘ugh’ to 365 Days, I can’t deny how great it would be to get called ‘Baby girl’ by someone hot like Massimo, but who doesn’t belong to a mafia family or thinks that Stockholm syndrome is a great way to get a girl to fall in love with you.
This name works well for your partner if you think they’re as sweet and smooth as chocolate. However, if you’re white, I would recommend not using such nicknames for couples on the basis of skin color. You could mean it as a compliment, but it may have racist connotations. You can substitute it with ‘honey bunny’ instead.
9. Spring
This could mean either the beautiful season that you associate with the relationship you have with your partner or just the fact that they’re constantly excited and want to try new things. You could use this name while writing a love paragraph for her.
10. Sassenach
For Outlander fans, this is a pet name for couples if you are Scottish and she is from a different land. You could also try similar names in your language, as long as they’re not offensive or have problematic roots.
Funny Nicknames For Couples
Nicknames can also be nostalgic for good times. Using a nickname from a funny incident or an inside joke may help keep the love alive during trying times. Ensure that you use cute couple names for boyfriend and girlfriend that don’t carry a negative connotation. Avoid using pet names for couples that are reminders of embarrassing incidents. A lot of us make this mistake and do such mean things in the name of love.
1. Popsicle
I had a friend named Poppy, whom everyone called Popsicle. If your significant other has a name that can be linked to something fun, do that. Another perfect pet name is ‘vine poppyseed’ or ‘ jewel snowflake’.
2. Honeybun
Isn’t Honeybun the cutest pet name for couples you’ve heard? This could also be something teasing if your partner has the habit of wearing buns. Giving each other nicknames is also part of the 9 crucial stages of a long-term relationship.
3. Choo choo
If your partner is obsessed with trains and keeps raving about them to whoever they meet, maybe this could be one of the really funny nicknames for couples.
4. Better half
A pet name for couples who have no issues agreeing that their partner is indeed the better half of the relationship. Calling each other by such nicknames could be a lovely way to date your spouse or partner.
5. Angry Bird
You know when a person is so cute-looking that somehow they look cuter and way more adorable when they’re angry? If your partner is like that, then this is the name for them.
6. Captain Cook
If your significant other is good in the kitchen, or if their cooking was the reason you connected with them, then such nicknames for couples would work well. Cooking together can also be a cute fall date idea to keep your romance alive.
7. Alexa
You can call them Alexa if they appear to know everything and are constantly offering well-meaning advice. It is better to remember not to use this nickname around the AI device to avoid confusion.
If your partner gets angry at the smallest thing but ends up looking cuter or even funnier during those times, then Liquid is the name. Because liquids tend to boil when heated, like the angry bird, Liquid is another pet name for couples that will suit this cute, angry person.
9. Squirrel
This is an excellent name if your partner has hoarder tendencies and appears to be cunning at getting things from people. But don’t use it as a pick-up line for guys since a stranger may not take well to being called a rodent.
10. Martini
Martini, Cosmos, or LIIT—any cocktail name can be used as a pet name for couples if they tend to turn into different human beings after a few drinks.
Matching Couple Names
Matching names for couples serves as a heartfelt way to express affection and reinforce the emotional bond between partners. They create an exclusive, intimate connection, adding an element of fun and playfulness to the relationship. Below are a few matching lovey dovey names for couples:
1. Lovebirds
Lovebirds—that passionate love that’s young, irrespective of age. This couple is inseparable, and their love is as strong as the bond between birds of a feather, always flying together. Other such cute names list can include, ‘sweet pea’, cutie pie’ etc.
2. Soulmates
Calling your partner your soulmate is the most vulnerability you can show through a single word. They are two halves of one whole, finding completeness and eternal love in each other’s presence.
3. Heartthrobs
It’s not just Henry Cavill that makes your heart race, but also your partner. Their love makes hearts skip a beat, and they are the envy of all who witness the deep passion they share.
4. Eternal Flames
Their love burns brightly, never dimming, like an eternal flame that lights up their lives with warmth and devotion.
5. Sun and Moon
This is one of the best matching couple names. They are the perfect balance, with one being the light of the other’s life, and together, they create a harmonious universe.
Sexy Couple Nicknames
Nicknames for couples are not just pet names you use because the original name is too long (though understandable). They’re supposed to be code names that only you and your partner understand. This adds an additional layer of intimacy to your relationship, so it must be chosen carefully.
1. Steamrunner
It’s a great name for someone who makes you feel as if you’ve been standing in a sauna with just a glance. This could be one of the sexy names to give him for more intimacy or for her when she uses that come-hither look on you.
2. Atlas
If your partner has a body that looks like it could lift the world, then this is probably the pet name for couples you could call him.
3. Cowboy/girl
Cowboys have been the epitome of masculine sexuality for as long as I can remember. I don’t even have to explain the sexy connotations of a cowgirl—this would make a great couple nickname for her.
4. Sugar daddy/mama
This could be one of the most sexy couple nicknames for those who have a large age gap and do not care about what others think of them. It could also be a sweet thing to say to your girlfriend in a text.
5. Sir/madam
Something for those who are into BDSM and won’t say no to a sexual power play. More such terms could be ‘master’ and ‘mistress’.
6. Senpai
If you’re familiar with Japanese manga, this term has been around for a while. Though it literally means someone senior, don’t be surprised if you were to find a Hentai using this term for a sexually aroused but physically toned demon.
7. Alpha
For someone who has read too many fantasy novels and has been using werewolves and vampires as Halloween costumes for couples, Alpha sounds like just the right pet name for couples.
8. Firepants
I had a habit of saying “Liar, liar, pants on fire” to my husband. He began to claim that his pants were always on fire. And that’s how he became known as Firepants in the bedroom.
9. Officer McNaughty
Another nickname for those role-playing nights where you pretend to have been caught going over the speed limit and can’t pay or for the days outside the bedroom for a better sex life.
10. Rosebud
Depending on which decade we’re talking about, it could mean sexual organs of either the male or female body. It could be the secret pet name for couples, which could mean a sexy night after a long time.
You could choose a generic nickname for your special someone in a long-term or new relationship, like ‘babe’, ‘honeybun’, or ‘muffin’, or think of unique pet names for couples. Something that comes from their name is always great, like Marshmallow and Lilypad from Marshall and Lily in How I Met Your Mother. But do ensure that your partner doesn’t have any issues with the nickname, as this is one of the must-follow healthy relationship boundaries. In spite of what Shakespeare said, there’s a whole power play in a nickname.
Galia Mizrahi walked past rows of freshly dug graves, preparing to bury two loved ones killed when Hamas attacked southern Israel.
The 55-year-old had left her home in Tarzana less than two weeks earlier for the country of her birth, her heart “aching to be here for [her] family” as Israel plunged into war.
Not only were her 48-year-old cousin and his 20-year-old daughter killed in their kibbutz on Oct. 7 — four other family members are among the more than 220 people kidnapped and being held hostage in Gaza.
“In the presence of so much loss, all you can do is latch onto the hope that those who were taken will be returned,” Mizrahi said in a Zoom interview on Monday, still wearing her funeral black from earlier that day.
Mizrahi’s relatives in Israel, pictured in July. Within months, following a Hamas attack, two people in the photo would be dead, four kidnapped and another family left homeless after their house was burned down.
(Galia Mizrahi)
The kidnappings have reverberated around the world, including in the homes of Californians like Mizrahi. Some have visited a Shabbat dinner table in Beverly Hills with seats kept empty for the hostages or shared their stories from the steps of the State Capitol in Sacramento. Others have flown to Israel to support their families.
Sometimes, there are signs of hope. Nurit Cooper, 79, whose son lives in San Diego, was freed Monday evening. Cooper’s husband, Amiram, is still being held captive.
The news that Cooper and three other hostages were released has heartened Ryan Pessah, a Sacramento resident.
His cousin, his cousin’s girlfriend and his cousin’s sons, ages 12 and 16, were kidnapped.
“I remain optimistic,” Pessah said. “There’s no other choice.”
::
Mizrahi was at a Shabbat dinner in Beverly Hills on Oct. 6 when she first learned of the code red alerts warning of an impending missile attack in southern Israel. Her aunt and uncle and two cousins, along with their wives and children, live in the Kfar Aza kibbutz, near the border with Gaza.
Within 15 minutes, Mizrahi received a text message from her family, saying there had been an attack. She cut the dinner short and headed home to wait for updates.
One cousin described hearing the alert and heading to a safe room in her house with her husband and children. Then, she told Mizrahi, her husband spotted someone coming down on a paraglider, machine gun in hand. The family got in their car and fled to a relative’s home.
Four houses down, Mizrahi’s other cousin, Nadav Goldstein Almog, had gone into their safe room with his wife; two daughters, ages 17 and 20; and two sons, 9 and 11. An Ironman athlete, Goldstein Almog was recovering from a hit-and-run cycling accident. He was still on crutches, and Mizrahi believes that’s why he couldn’t flee.
Gal and Tal Goldstein Almog were among those kidnapped and taken to Gaza.
(Galia Mizrahi)
“The logical solution for him was to go into the safe room and keep his family safe,” Mizrahi said.
Days passed with no word about Goldstein Almog and his family. Other relatives later heard from the Israel Defense Forces that four bodies had been found in the safe room. Government officials were unable to confirm the identities, Mizrahi said.
On Oct. 11, Mizrahi’s father died in an Israeli hospital of causes unrelated to the war. After landing in the country two days later, she learned that only two bodies, not four, had been found in her cousin’s house. That left four relatives unaccounted for.
That weekend, Mizrahi’s family received preliminary confirmation that the bodies were those of Goldstein Almog and his daughter, Yam, an active-duty member of the military who had gone home for the weekend.
Investigators were able to determine their identities, Mizrahi said, through the crutches and metal plate in Goldstein Almog’s hip and Yam’s distinctive tattoo of two butterflies. No one knew where the other family members were.
“At the time, missing meant two things: Either they’re kidnapped and taken to the Gaza Strip, or they’re just unrecognizable,” Mizrahi said. “A few days go by without us knowing what missing means.”
Relatives held off on a funeral, unsure whether the four were still alive or whether they might have to bury them too. Then, on Oct. 19, authorities told the family they had information confirming that the four had been kidnapped and taken to Gaza.
Their condition remains unknown to the family.
The days Mizrahi has spent in Israel have felt like years, she said. “I’m so sorry for your loss” has become the new hello as she walks the streets.
“I feel like what I’ve squeezed into these 10, 12 days is someone else’s lifetime of sorrow,” she said.
::
For Pessah, the details of his Israeli family members’ kidnappings unfolded one devastating, surreal text message at a time.
On Oct. 7, he was driving his wife and two young children from their home in Sacramento to the Bay Area to visit his uncle.
It was Saturday — Shabbat, the Jewish day of rest — a day he does not use his phone. His wife uses hers, though. As they drove, her phone began flashing with news alerts.
Yair Yaakov, standing in back in a family photo, is the cousin of Ryan Pessah of Sacramento. Yaakov is believed to be a hostage in Gaza, as are Yaakov’s girlfriend and two sons, 12 and 16.
(Provided by Ryan Pessah)
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu just declared war, she read aloud, stunned.
Then, a text message from Pessah’s mother in San Diego: “Yair and his family are missing.”
Nobody could reach Pessah’s cousin Yair Yaakov or his girlfriend, Meirav Tal, who were at Yaakov’s home in Nir Oz, a kibbutz in southern Israel two miles from Gaza.
Yaakov’s sons also were nowhere to be found.
On Sunday, Pessah’s mother — who is Yaakov’s aunt — texted a video.
It shows the inside of Yaakov’s house filled with smoke. His girlfriend, her eyes wide with terror and her clothing covered with dust from a grenade blast, grasps the hand of a militant, pleading as she is pulled and shoved. Yaakov sits on the floor, at gunpoint, as an intruder speaks to him.
Hamas militants filmed the video and texted it to Yaakov’s siblings, Pessah said.
“The moment I see Yair, I’m just shaking, crying. Just completely,” Pessah said. “He was taken because he’s Israeli. Because he’s Jewish. What is going to happen? How will we get him back? Just — why?”
::
Yaakov, 59, a slender, bald man, is the ultimate cool guy, who smells of cigarette smoke when he wraps his arms around you, Pessah said. “‘Let’s enjoy life.’ He embodied that,” Pessah said. “He’s a great hugger, always smiling and laughing.”
On the day of the siege, Yaakov and Tal were at his home, hiding in a bomb shelter, which are common in Israeli houses.
Meirav Tal was kidnapped by Hamas militants from Nir Oz, a kibbutz in southern Israel, with boyfriend Yair Yaakov, according to his family.
(Provided by Ryan Pessah)
Hamas militants burst in, using a grenade to open the door to the shelter, and pulled the couple out, Pessah said.
Yaakov’s daughter and her boyfriend hid in a shelter in another home in the kibbutz. The attackers exploded a grenade in there too, but it jammed the door shut. They were found days later — grief-stricken but safe, Pessah said.
Yaakov’s sons were staying nearby at their mother’s house, but she was not there during the attack, Pessah said. In a phone call, she heard the boys pleading with the militants, telling them they were too young to be taken. Then the line went silent.
There has been no other communication from Yaakov, his girlfriend, his sons or the abductors.
Pessah, a 35-year-old political lobbyist, has become a de facto spokesman for his family in Israel, which includes most of his mother’s 11 siblings.
He has done media interviews. He spoke during a rally this week on the steps of the California Capitol. He told a state legislator to “check in with [their] Jewish community; they do not feel safe.”
Still, Pessah said, he feels helpless half a world away.
He said he feels scared, even here in California, where Jewish schools and synagogues and other institutions have increased security. It’s been frustrating, he said, seeing some people at pro-Palestinian rallies here in the U.S. appear sympathetic toward Hamas without condemning the killings and kidnappings of Israeli civilians.
“These are terrorists, period,” Pessah said of Hamas.
Pessah said he knows that if Israel launches a ground invasion of Gaza, there are likely to be “a high number of casualties on both sides.” He hopes that if the Israel Defense Forces do invade, they know in advance where the hostages are being kept.
For now, he hopes that Yaakov and his girlfriend and sons are together. He hopes they’re safe.
“It’s this unimaginable nightmare,” Pessah said. “I keep telling myself, ‘You’re not dreaming. You’re not going to wake up. This is reality.’”
::
On Monday afternoon, a military procession escorted two coffins holding Goldstein Almog and his daughter, Yam. They were being buried at the Shefayim kibbutz in central Israel, Mizrahi said, because it was too dangerous in the south.
The hope, she said, is to transfer them back to their kibbutz once the community is rebuilt.
Israeli soldiers take part in Monday’s funeral for Sgt. Yam Goldstein and her father, Nadav Goldstein Almog. Relatives of Mizrahi’s, they were killed Oct. 7.
(Ariel Schalit / Associated Press)
Around 500 people attended the funeral, including Yam’s military friends, who spoke highly of her dedication.
“Twenty-year-olds giving eulogy to other 20-year-olds is something I haven’t seen,” Mizrahi said. “They’re all so young, and they’ve all experienced so much loss.”
The four missing relatives were not forgotten during the three-and-a-half-hour service. It was held on the birthday of Goldstein Almog’s wife, Chen. The couple were high school sweethearts.
Inbar Goldstein, Goldstein Almog’s sister, read the crowd a poem she’d written.
“Our duty is not to forget,” she said. “Not to forget who was taken beyond the fence, not to forget those who are waiting to come home.”
After the attack, Yam’s aunt got the same butterfly tattoo as her niece. She added six hearts beside it, two of them blackened in.
The other four will remain empty, Mizrahi said, “until we know what happened to them.”
Repeating the same old ‘How was your day’ or ‘Have you eaten yet’ questions while conversing with your partner can often be boring. However, one can never get enough of chit-chatting with their special someone. So why not spice your relationship with some quirky, flirty, and creative conversation games for couples? Be it a decade-long relationship or one that is a day old, a healthy conversation is the most important aspect of it. Ranging from flirty games to play over text to deep conversation games, you can choose your type of game and build your compatibility like never before!
Games are proven to impact your relationships positively as per a survey conducted in June 2020. Chatting games for couples are potentially an amazing conversation starter that helps you collect new insights about your significant other. These romantic games are a brilliant idea to start bonding on the first date with your crush. You will surely spend quality time playing a fun question game, bombarding each other with random questions, and can even get naughty with your questions.
7 Flirty Games To Play Over Text With Your ‘Boo’
For people who prefer texting over calls, late-night flirty text games can be the easiest way to spice things up. There are a bunch of intimacy games for couples, offering a fun time and allowing exploration of sexual desires. You can explore your darkest fantasies as these games let you know the unfiltered side of your lover. Chatting games for couples are indeed the best couple ice-breaker games, leading to a heated romance over texts. And sometimes, such games can create a deeper connection too.
Even in times when you don’t know what to say when the conversation dies between you and your sweetheart, a game night will be your savior. All that you will need to rekindle that lost spark in your relationship is a smartphone for texting and a list of romantic games. A list of exciting conversation games for couples is just a scroll away in this article:
1. The classic: Would You Rather (WYR)
Games similar to ‘would you rather’ top the list of talking games for couples that can be made flirty and juicy, or even funny and bizarre. You may ask questions like, “Would you rather date someone with good cooking skills or good kissing skills?” WYR is the classic couple bonding game of all time. So, you can take a step forward and tune into some nail-biting questions like “WYR lose your friends or lose your love?” This might put you in hot takes but will definitely attach you with your partner on a deeper level.
Another game that comes under a similar category as the ‘would you rather’ game is ‘Who’s most likely to’. This game can be really entertaining for couples, as it tests how they perceive each other. A correct answer means both have named the same person. Simple questions like “Who is most likely to forget our anniversary?” are exciting when you play with your ‘boo’. With every different answer, you can make room to make your partner aware of your thought process behind the answer.
3. Truth or Dare
Truth or Dare is the most popular date night couples game to get to know each other. This is a meaningful game where opting for ‘truth’ will let your partner share their secrets, while putting forth bold dares would spice things up. The questions can be racy, such as “What is the most unusual erogenous zone of your body?” or something on a deeper level, such as “What importance do your friends hold in your life?” The dares, on the other hand, can be even naughtier, such as “Narrate an erotic story in the most sensual voice possible.”
Fun games for couples to play at home
4. Confession game
The Confession game is one of the finest talking games for couples to confess feelings, guilt, lies, and all sorts of expressions to the other person. The first person starts by saying, “I confess that I’m madly in love with the way you smile” and the other person called repeats, “I confess that I am well aware.”
This game is organically included on the list of the best romantic games for couples, as it allows you to speak confidently about your heart’s desires. You can play a couple edition of the game or even sit with a group of friends at a dinner party to play the confession game.
There are several word games for couples, but the one we’ll be introducing now is the best of the lot. The ground rule for playing it is pretty simple: repeat the last word and add another to the flow. The first person starts, for example, with “juice.” The next player says, “juice, homework…” and then it passes to the former player. The key is to keep remembering the last words and add new words to the chain. This game can be one of the most magical conversation starter games for couples on a date night.
6. Love, Like, Leave
The game of ‘love, like, or, leave’ is as engrossing as it sounds. You can try picking some fictional characters, such as Harry Potter, Prince Eric, or Iron Man, as options to play this romantic game. These fun games for couples to play at home will make you understand your partner better. You are free to create random combos of choices, such as yourself or a hypothetical person, or even use someone else’s name — a colleague’s or a common friend’s. Conversation games for couples like this one ensure strong bonds. For example:
If your options are Robert Pattinson, Zayn Malik, and Harry Styles, you need to assign tags to each of them
It could go like this: Love- Harry Styles, Like- Zayn Malik, and Leave- Robert Pattinson.
Hot Takes is a game that refers to an unpopular opinion that one has on different topics. This game can be played over text by taking chances to express niche opinions that have been a crucial part of your personality. For example, you can start with, “I love pineapples on my pizza.” These kinds of chatting games for couples are meant for a deeper level of connection where you can handle sensitive topics and acknowledge the differences in your ideas. But you should avoid politics if you are in the initial stage of your relationship, as it might come out as a deal breaker.
7 Conversation Games For Long-Distance Couples (LDR)
Conversation is the most vital support pillar of a long-distance relationship. Couples in long-distance relationships run out of ideas for discussion over text or calls frequently. Similarly, a couple separated physically by distance is prone to tearful communication sessions. Hence, to keep the playfulness intact, couple games come into play.
Playing games over chat helps in the exploration of a couple’s sense of humor, mischief, and competitive spirit. Games for long-distance couples give them another outlook on each other. Above all, conversation games for couples are an impressive method to feel less distant, decrease conflicts, and break the monotony of your relationship. You would beat all the challenges of an LDR and intensify your emotional closeness even when you are far apart physically. So let’s take a look at all the awesome romantic games available for long-distance couples:
1. A must-try: Two Truths and a Lie
This is a game of three sentences wherein you have two truths and one lie. You will take turns to speak the sentences, and the other person has to guess the correct answers and point out the lie. You can pull some creative strings of your brain and fabricate unreal sentences that sound true, just to trick your opponent. If you plan a date night on a call, make sure to play two truths and one lie. It will be a crazy experience!
2. Play with your lover: Never Have I Ever
Topping the list of conversation starter games for couples is Never Have I Ever. This can be played more enthusiastically with your beloved over a video call or even on text. With each thing that one has never done ever, one needs to take a sip of a drink. To illustrate, if you say, “Never have I ever fallen for someone older than 5 years from me” and your partner has, they sip a drink as a penalty. The penalty can be something as simple as sending a pouty picture or something wild, such as stripping.
3. Never let the playfulness fade: Play charades
Dumb Charades is hands down the best game to play over video chat with your sweetheart. The best aspect is that the game needs no prior planning. Just choose a movie, enact it with hand movements, and enjoy a fun-filled evening together. Set timers for the competition and unleash the mime inside you. You can keep track of points, and the winner can be rewarded with a prepaid coffee from the loser the next morning.
Bombarding your partner with long-form questions over text or video chat can be tiresome for both parties. Thus, we have ‘This or That’ — a shorter version of Would You Rather. This or That is popular among word games for couples, as it gives the best opportunity to know the likes and dislikes of your companion. Here are a few ideas on how this romantic game is played:
Tea or coffee?
Love or money?
Kiss or hug?
Bono Tip: Avoid heated discussions like politics while playing this game, as it might lead to an argument or a fight in a relationship, which defeats the purpose of such fun game.
5. Tickle your brains with online games
Get in the zone of fierce online competition with your love and sprinkle the spice of liveliness in your bland relationship. Classic games like Ludo, Uno, Scrabble, and other board and card games offer you the go-to technique for lightening the mood. There are a number of free couple games to play at home. Pick your favorite from the lot and begin! You can play in teams against other online players or you can opt to play against each other. The bond that builds over games is perhaps superior to every other bond.
6. Don’t let your eyes rest: It’s a staring contest
Yet another cheesy game for a long-distance couple is a staring contest over a video call. Staring can lead to an internal fire, one that warms your heart and lets you delve into the world of your ‘bae’. Lock your eyes and try to feel the physical distance fade away. To enhance the impact of the game, you can add punishments too. The last person who keeps staring without blinking wins evidently. Try it, and you won’t regret it.
7. I like you because…
This romantic game is especially for those sitting away from each other and bearing the rage of distance and time. The fragile thread of a long-distance relationship can be held strong only by confessing, communicating, and prioritizing your love. ‘I like you because’ is an effortless trick to appreciate the other person. You can recollect all the traits of your significant other and convey them via this game. It can ignite a deeper level of affection in both individuals. For example, you can say something such as, “I like you because you made me feel worthy.”
7 Romantic Games For Couples That Stir-up Deep Conversions
The longevity of your relationship is ensured if you inculcate days of goofiness amid the sincerity of your love. These little gestures of creativity can never go in vain because they’ll give you a bucket full of happy memories and help you engage with your partner on a deeper level. You can spice things up, build better understanding, foster stronger connections, and remain closely attached with your partner just by playing these simple yet profound conversation games for couples.
The date nights spent knowing your ‘baby boo’ better will become a golden memory if you look back the memory lane ever. There are tons of free couple games to play at home, including relationship card games, games like 21 Questions, and other excitement-packed plays. Here is a list of deep conversation games for couples:
1. Our Moments card game
Card games can’t be forgotten if we discuss games for couples! Some of the best card games are available in the market and online stores. This card game is an ice-breaker that helps you to start a fresh relationship or to reconnect with your partner on a deeper level. You get a deck of 100 cards consisting of engaging questions that are perfect for a slow-paced conversation with your lovely mate. These pre-made questions are surprising, as both of you won’t know what pops up next. Relationship card games like the Actually Curious deck of 52 cards, the Our Moments card game, and the Kinky Confession card game are some of the top card games to play with your beloved.
Our moments card game
2. 21 Questions
Ask 21 intimate, psychological, and intense questions that lead toward better bonding as partners. The questions can be related to love, life, and dreams. For instance, “If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?” or “Have you experienced a heartbreak? if yes, describe.” Prepare a list of 21 questions and take turns to answer each separately.
This is a perfect game for a road trip with friends. But you can play the couple’s edition for ‘Ask Me Anything’ too. A penalty is decided before the game begins. Opting for skipping the question would mean acting out the penalty, such as drinking a shot of vinegar. You can ask the questions you have been waiting to ask for a long time playing such fun conversation games for couples.
4. The One Line Game
Curate a story with the help of collective thinking by building one line at a time. This game will amplify your compatibility as a couple and will provide the satisfaction of creating something together. You can start with, “Once upon a time, a girl named (your name) was sitting in a park.” Your partner might add, “She was as beautiful as the moonflower” and continue. The game would be even more interesting with a group of couples competing against each other. You can also try road trip questions for couples for the same.
5. Three Thank You
Three Thank You is listed among the best fun games for couples to play at home. The most profound communication game on the list, it works powerfully if you indulge in a habitual routine of taking 10 minutes every day. Tell your partner about three things for which you are thankful to them and take turns doing so.
The name might sound weird but the game is the most meaningful one. You get to share one high, one low, and one random thing from your day with your partner. When accounting for conversation games for couples, this one is the star of the show. For instance High- “I was able to make breakfast on time today.” Low- “It turned out a little too salty though.” Buffalo- “My best friend was wearing a weird orange shirt with black polka dots today.”
7. The Rating Game
The most flawlessly entertaining method to get to know what your partner perceives about a particular character trait is by playing this game. Here’s how to go about it:
You can start by saying, “They are a 10 but never apologize.”
Next, your partner will rate the hypothetical person out of 10 according to their preference, say 4, since an unapologetic person is a red flag according to them
You are free to rate higher than 10 or lower than it
It is said that communication makes or breaks any relationship. So, dig for chances to improve your communication with your sweetheart, be it via conversation games or by a simple ‘Hello baby’ text. Keep a balance of fun, sincerity, commitment, and flirtation. Use these amazing games and keep the playfulness alive!
