Guy Fieri is one of the biggest stars on the Food Network, with Parade alleging that he has a net worth of about $70 million, but that doesn’t mean that he’s giving his sons a free ride in life. In fact, he’s doing just the opposite, as he’s trying to raise his boys with the kind of work ethics that his own father gave him in his youth.
Fieri Raising His Sons To Work Hard
“I’ve told them the same thing my dad told me,” Fieri told Fox News. “My dad says, ‘When I die, you can expect that I’m going to die broke, and you’re going to be paying for the funeral.’”
“And I told my boys, none of this that we’ve been … that I’ve been building are you going to get unless you come and take it from me,” he added.
Fieri and his wife Lori have been married since 1995, and they are the parents of two sons: Hunter and Ryder. They are also raising their nephew Jules, who they took in after the 2011 death of Fieri’s sister Morgan, who died of a metazoic melanoma.
While Hunter and Jules are both adults who are out of the house and launching their own careers, the 17 year-old Ryder recently took issue with his dad’s rules about hard work.
“My youngest son, Ryder, is a senior in high school getting ready to graduate, or you know, going to graduate in the spring,” Fieri explained. “And he’s like, ‘Dad this is so unfair. I haven’t even gone to college yet, and you’re already pushing that I’ve got to get an MBA? Can I just get through college?’”
“Shaq said it best,” Fieri continued.”Shaq said it about his kids one time. He says, ‘If you want any of this cheese, you’ve got to give me two degrees.’ Well, my two degrees mean, you know, postgraduate. So they’re on their way.”
Fieri’s 27 year-old son Hunter has already signed his own contract with the Food Network. He’s currently working on his master’s degree, and he is the top salesman for Hunt & Ryde, the family wine brand.
“I think the kid’s going to explode,” Fieri proudly said of his son.
Fieri is known for being a car aficionado, so fans would likely assume that he bought his sons fancy and expensive cars when they turned 16, but that’s not the route that he chose to go.
“All the kids got to drive a family car when they first got their license until they earned their money,” Fieri said. “And so Hunter and Jules drove my dad’s old green pickup truck.”
When Ryder turned 16, Fieri gathered the teenager and his friends for what the young man assumed would be the big reveal of a snazzy new car.
“Held the key up, and I go. Here you go, son. Smiling ear to ear, pushes the button and the alarm goes off on my parent’s 1994 champagne Chrysler minivan,” Fieri recalled. “Because I bought my mom a new car that day, and they took their van from them. And he’s like, ‘no way. No way. I’m not driving the minivan.’”
“I said, ‘Ride your bike. I don’t care. You need a car to drive. The minivan is available,’” Fieri added. “Took him about a week. He softened up and then. Then he loved the minivan. He was the coolest guy cruising that.”
It’s clear that unlike the vast majority of wealthy folks in the entertainment world, Fieri is actually raising his boys to be hard-working young men who will be able to actually get themselves far in life. In the end, they are lucky to have a no-nonsense father like Guy Fieri behind them!
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Jesse Dominguez had the same aspirations many in Los Angeles do: to be an actor.
And he shared the same struggles too: substance use issues, a serious mental health disorder and homelessness.
On Sunday afternoon, while in what his family said must have been a mental health episode or drug-fueled crisis, Dominguez was shot and killed by a California Highway Patrol officer following a struggle on the 105 Freeway in Watts near the sober living facility where he lived.
CHP officials said that during the altercation, Dominguez “was able to access a Taser” and used it against the officer.
“In fear for his safety, the officer fired his service weapon, striking the pedestrian,” the CHP said in a statement.
His family, however, sees the incident differently.
“I’ve pretty much ‘backed the blue’ in a lot of circumstances,” Akasha Dominguez, the man’s stepmother, said referring to a slogan about supporting police. “There have been issues where [police] used excessive force. But I’ve never been on the other end. Now I have a completely different stance. This is absolutely police brutality.”
His family said that Dominguez did carry a Taser for protection after being threatened by others living at the facility where he was staying.
Akasha Dominguez and other family members were in shock Tuesday after learning that Dominguez had been killed. Graphic video appeared to show the encounter leading up to the shooting, during which Dominguez and a CHP officer wrestle on the pavement of the closed freeway before the officer stands and repeatedly shoots Dominguez.
The end of his life was unfathomable to Dominguez’s family members, who knew the 33-year-old as a troubled man who was a “softie” and wanted more than anything to be an actor, though he never got any roles.
Dominguez struggled with bipolar disorder as well as substance use disorder, according to his father, Jesse Dominguez. He wanted to be an actor or a singer, but bounced around from job to job, mostly waiting tables. While family had tried to help the younger Dominguez, who was homeless, and offered him places to live, he wanted to make it on his own, his father said.
His failure to make it as an actor depressed him, family said.
“We just feel terrible that L.A. just robbed him. The Hollywood scene sucked him in to wanting to be that persona. No matter how hard we tried to get him to do other jobs or seek formal education, that’s what he wanted to do. We weren’t going to crush his dreams,” Dominguez’s father said.
The 55-year-old former Marine told The Times that he could not bring himself to watch the bystander video that appears to show the last moments of his son’s life. But his wife and daughter have.
The family is grappling with the same questions that use-of-force experts say will become the focus of the investigation into the shooting by the officer, who has not been identified.
“I don’t know why the officer thought to engage. If someone is walking on the freeway, something is not right. They’re either in mental health crisis or something else is happening,” Akasha Dominguez said. “He was not trying to hurt anybody. Why did he have to use that type of force? After [the officer] had already discharged his firearm once, why did he stand up and then do it again and again and again?”
The questions Dominguez’s stepmother asked will likely be addressed in the California Department of Justice’s investigation into the deadly shooting.
The DOJ investigates police shootings in which an unarmed civilian is killed.
Law enforcement experts interviewed Monday by The Times were divided.
Travis Norton, a law enforcement officer who runs the California Assn. of Tactical Officers After Action Review, said video is a limited way to understand a police shooting.
“It is hard to diagnose without knowing what the officer saw, experienced and interpreted was happening,” Norton said. “All I see is a very short scuffle. I see the suspect point something that appears to look like some sort of weapon. … From the video, without knowing anything else about it, the use of deadly force appears appropriate.”
But other experts said the use of force raises many questions.
Ed Obayashi, a police shootings expert who investigates the incidents for numerous law enforcement agencies in California, said investigators will immediately ask the officer why he was engaging with the person without a partner or backup in the immediate vicinity.
“Why did you shoot him while he was on the ground?” Obayashi said investigators will ask. “You separated yourself from the individual; why was he still a threat to you?”
Akasha Dominguez said she didn’t understand why the officer engaged without backup and why he resorted to deadly force so quickly — even if her stepson had a Taser.
“I don’t know when using deadly force became the first thing cops do in this situation,” said Michele Dominguez, the man’s sister.
Family members said they were reaching out to civil rights attorneys and waiting for the results of the investigation, which could take months or even years.
For now, Dominguez’s father said he would not watch the video, but acknowledged he is only delaying the inevitable.
“I’m going to have to watch the video. I know at some point I do have to see it. But I’m just so raw right now,” he said. “The last time that I saw him, he was smiling. He was happy. And the last thing that I want to see is to have my last memory of him be him going through what he did in that video.”
After learning about Veterans Day in his transitional kindergarten class, Wilson Zeier, 4, asked his father what they could do to recognize the men and women who served.
So on Saturday morning Wilson stood with his father, Bill, and mother, Mai, on a knoll overlooking tens of thousands of white gravestones in rows on a lush green background at the Los Angeles National Cemetery in Westwood.
At the mid-morning hour, the cemetery where American service members from the Civil War onward are interred was reverentially still.
Every few minutes a figure would appear on the sloping lawn, moving slowly through the lines of gravestones.
Ruth Pico, a Navy veteran, moved sideways, stopping at each marker for a few seconds. She wore a T-shirt commemorating her godson Hunter Lopez, killed in action on Aug. 26, 2021, in a suicide bombing at the Kabul airport in Afghanistan. She said she couldn’t make the trip to Riverside to honor his grave and so came to pay respects to those she didn’t know.
“I like to go and read their names and thank them for their service and go on to the next one,” she said, keeping an eye on her son Nathan, who was cavorting on the grass.
Pico said she has brought her son to the cemetery every year since he was a baby to imbue him with an understanding of service. She also thinks those buried there appreciate his presence.
“For a little bit I let him play and laugh,” she said. “In my head, the veterans can hear the happiness and the joy of his laughing.”
Pico had come with a bag of paper poppies and distributed them one to a headstone along with a penny to show family members that someone had been there.
While U.S. flags come out on Memorial Day, the other major holiday dedicated to service members, poppies are more identified with Veterans Day. Originally called Armistice Day and commemorating the Nov. 11, 1918, armistice that ended the fighting in World War I, the date is linked internationally to the opening lines of the haunting war poem “In Flanders Fields:”
In Flanders fields the poppies blow/Between the crosses, row on row.
The commemoration became a U.S. national holiday in 1935 and was renamed in 1954.
Unlike Memorial Day, a holiday dating from the end of the Civil War and honoring those who died while serving in the armed forces, Veterans Day honors all veterans.
Formal Veterans Day events were held Saturday at Forest Lawn—Hollywood Hills and the Bob Hope Patriotic Hall near downtown, where Arnold Schwarzenegger was a special guest.
As the morning wore on, though, the National Cemetery remained a place for quiet reflection.
Kathy Collins, daughter and niece of World War II veterans, laid pennies on the headstones as she does every Veterans Day and Memorial Day.
Collins thinks it is important to sustain the memory of what her father’s generation did.
“A lot of kids grow up and don’t know veterans and what they did,” she said. “And that’s kind of sad.”
Among the more than 80,000 graves, Collins said she tries to connect with individuals.
“You look at their age, like a guy today killed in action in Iraq—thinking about the younger veterans. We don’t know that many of them because the military is so much smaller, proportionally.”
Collins said she places pennies on headstones where there are flowers because that means there’s still a family connection. When they return, they will know a stranger cared.
As he surveyed the gravestones with his son, Zeier said he hoped the experience had broadened Wilson’s understanding.
“When you come to a place like this it can be very moving, very emotional,” he said.
“He hasn’t been to cemeteries before,” Zeier said. “For us it’s just walking around a little bit today, talking about the people that are buried here and also to introduce death, so he kind of understands what it is.”
Navy veteran Ruth Pico and her son Nathan Pico, 8, left flower stems on the tombstones on Veterans Day at Los Angeles National Cemetery in Westwood.
During World War I, Black soldiers like David Brewer’s grandfather were not allowed in combat. Instead, they lugged cargo, dug trenches and buried the dead for the U.S. Army.
But as the Western Front continued to churn out the dead, France welcomed a group of Black Americans in 1918 to fight under their country’s banner.
The group became known as the Harlem Hellfighters — one of the most renowned Black regiments in history.
Brewer’s grandfather Sylvester Calhoun didn’t fight, but he helped the estimated 4,500 Black soldiers in France who turned the tide of the war.
In 2014, Brewer, a retired vice admiral in the Navy — only the fifth African American to attain the rank — flew to France with his 94-year-old mother so she could see where her father had served with her own eyes.
Actor Dennis Haysbert, left, moderated the panel of retired military leaders including the Air Force’s Lt. Gen. Stayce Harris and Maj. Gen. John F. Phillips, speaking.
(Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times)
The pair found delight at the sounds of jazz on city streets — just one influence of the Black soldiers who came to France for the Great War.
During World War II, Brewer’s uncle fought in the U.S. Army in Italy. Brewer’s father did not see combat during his service, but settled in Tuskegee, Ala., for his studies.
“His classmate,” Brewer said, “was Gen. Chappie James” — the first Black man to become a four-star general in any U.S. military branch.
Former lawmaker Mark Ridley-Thomas, right, chats with retired Navy Vice Adm. David Brewer, center, and Marine Corps Reserve Maj. Gen. Leo V. Williams III after the panel discussion.
(Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times)
On Wednesday, as Veterans Day neared, Brewer and five other Black military leaders brought their stories to SoFi Stadium in Inglewood. They spoke about the long and rich history of Black service members.
“Believe it or not,” philanthropist Bernard Kinsey said, many Black soldiers received the Medal of Honor for their heroics in the the Civil War.
And Black troops — “‘colored,’ we were called then,” Kinsey clarified — “dominated getting recognized until Jim Crow.”
The Veterans Day panel was organized by Kinsey’s family, renowned as art collectors. The event included a tour of the historic art, poems and artifacts — like a 1924 photograph of 28 Black Los Angeles firefighters — from the Kinsey Collection that will hang in the halls of SoFi until March.
The heroics of Henry Johnson, who earned the nickname “Black Death” in May 1918, were highlighted at Wednesday’s event.
Fighting on the edge of France’s Argonne Forest, Johnson saved a fellow soldier from capture using grenades and his rifle as a club. And using a bolo knife, he prevented a German raid from reaching his French allies.
Overseas, Johnson and compatriot Needham Roberts received the Croix de Guerre — France’s highest award for valor. But back home in America, the Army refused to recognize Johnson, who was wounded 21 times in the battle.
Discharge records did not mention his debilitating injuries, and the Army would notaward him a Purple Heart.
Johnson died in 1929 at the age of 32 of myocarditis, an inflammation of the heart muscle. In 2015, President Obama posthumously awarded Johnson the Medal of Honor.
Although Johnson’s bravery overseas didn’t immediately ease the hardships that he and his peers faced when they returned home, he helped pave the way for prominent commanders in years to come.
In 1940, Benjamin O. Davis Sr. became the Army’s first Black general.
But the belief that Black people could not succeed as officers, or sailors, lingered for years more, Brewer said. In 1944, naval commanders finally launched an officer training course for 16 of the estimated 100,000 Black sailors in the U.S. Navy.
Every one of them passed the course, according to Navy records.
But only 12 were selected as officers. A 13th was made a chief warrant officer, resulting in the group’s nickname: “The Golden 13.”
Twenty-eight years later, in 1970, Brewer joined the Navy, which at the time had no Black admirals.
“And only five – five — Black sailors had achieved the rank of Navy captain by 1970,” he added.
This year marks 75 years since the U.S. military desegregated, and the numbers still aren’t where they should be, according to the panel of prestigious Black officers.
As Brewer told it, President Truman only integrated the military after Isaac Woodard, a young Black Army sergeant, was dragged off a Greyhound bus on the way home to South Carolina after serving in World War II.
Still in uniform, just hours after being honorably discharged, Woodard was beaten blind and arrested.
The panel of retired military leaders gave credit to the Black service members who came before them and made it possible for them to become high-ranking officers.
(Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times)
“It was in my wife’s hometown — [in] Fairfield County, South Carolina,” Brewer shared with veterans, students and dignitaries who traveled from as far as Washington, D.C., for the panel.
The country was outraged, and in July 1946, Truman issued Executive Order 9981, abolishing discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion or national origin in the United States armed forces.
Even then, it took six years for the Army to fully integrate, said Maj. Gen. Thomas Bostick — a Black commanding general of the Army Corps of Engineers.
Bostick’s father was an orphan at 8 years old, living in Brooklyn, moving from foster home to foster home. “He never really had a family,” Bostick said, until he joined an all-Black unit in the Army at age 17.
He was able to move up the ranks to master sergeant, serving for more than two decades.
“Can you all imagine doing anything for 26 ½ years?” Bostick asked a group of Junior ROTC cadets from John C. Fremont High School in South Los Angeles.
Maj. Gen. Leo V. Williams III of the Marines remembered his father served as a steward in the Navy for 38 years “and retired as one of the senior Black enlisted folks in the Navy.”
The Marine Corps, on the other hand, “was so far behind the other services that you can’t even begin to compare,” Williams said.
When his now ex-wife told her father that she’d be marrying a Black Marine Corps officer, “he said, ‘He’s a liar,’” Williams recalled. “That was 1970.”
“It’s a history that we have crawled our way slowly forward,” he added. “But you have to understand the history to understand how difficult it may be to make moves based on the culture of your institution.”
Williams bid farewell to the Junior ROTC Marines with a ringing “Oorah” as he departed the stage.
Ruth Murcia, left, and fellow Marine Corps Junior ROTC students from John C. Fremont High School join retired Maj. Gen. Williams, one of the panelists, at the exhibit of items from the Kinsey Collection.
(Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times)
Ruth Murcia, a junior at Fremont High, waited for a chance to speak with Williams. The silver lieutenant discs on her uniform collar quickly caught his eye.
Her family background is steeped in military tradition, but Murcia fears the journey won’t be as easy as loved ones make it sound. She explained that she’s on the fence about joining the armed forces.
Williams advised Murcia to head into the military as an officer, a path made possible by ROTC programs across the country.
Army and Air Force leaders recognized the potential of Black recruits and began placing ROTC units at historically Black universities like Howard as early as 1917. But the Navy refused to host a program of its own until President Lyndon B. Johnson forced the issue in 1968, Brewer said.
The president, a native Texan, placed the unit in his home state at Prairie View A&M.
In 1970, Brewer became one of 13 graduates in the university’s inaugural ROTC class.
“We call it the Prairie View Naval ROTC Golden 13,” Brewer said. “It’s ironic how history repeats itself.”
Bostick, having served as the Army’s head of personnel, said he didn’t aspire to join the military as a child growing up in Japan and Germany.
College was his calling.
“I watched my dad fight two wars. He was always away,” Bostick said. “I didn’t want to do that.”
Bostick fortunately found an ally who helped him become one of six Black engineers out of 4,000 graduates at West Point to complete their coursework.
“In 221 years, there’s been one Black chief of engineers from West Point. That’s me — I don’t know how I got there,” Bostick said with a chuckle.
After 38 years of service, the Army tapped Bostick to address the lack of diversity in the Corps of Engineers, he said.
Bostick called 25 generals into a room to see whom he could promote. There was one white woman, and he was the lone Black face in the room.
He then called in 42 colonels.
“There’s one Asian and there’s one Black female,” Bostick said.
Then he said: “Give me the top 25 captains.” There was one Black man and one white woman.
“So then I go back to West Point, and I’m welcoming 127 cadets that picked the Corps of Engineers. There’s two Black males,” Bostick added.
He wryly told the Army that he estimated he’d have the diversity problem fixed by 2048.
The verdict is in! Katy Perry’s legal battle over that $15-million Montecito mansion has concluded.
The “Teenage Dream” hitmaker purchased the mansion for herself and fiancé Orlando Bloom in July 2020 from the founder of 1-800-Flowers. But the entrepreneur tried to call off the sale, alleging he was mentally incapacitated at the time of the agreement due to pain pills.
On Wednesday, a Los Angeles County Superior Court judge tentatively ruled that Carl Westcott, 84, had not met his burden of proving he was mentally unfit.
“Wescott presented no persuasive evidence that he lacked capacity to enter into a real estate contract between June 10, 2020, and June 18, 2020, the days during which he negotiated and signed the contract,” the judgment read.
The judge said evidence presented by Wescott’s team was not credible or persuasive. The court actually found significant evidence that demonstrated Wescott was well enough to knowingly sign on the dotted line. The evidence included the testimony of a witness who interacted with Westcott while he negotiated and finalized the contract as well as Westcott’s written communications during the same time frame that the court said showed the entrepreneur to be “coherent, engaged, lucid, and rational.”
Westcott’s medical reports showed that none of his doctors found he lacked capacity to engage in any action before the sales contract or for more than a year afterward. According to the court documents, the contract that Westcott negotiated and signed yielded him a $3.75-million profit. He also had entered into other contracts shortly before and shortly after the real estate agreement with Perry and had not attempted to rescind any of those due to lack of capacity.
“Today’s proposed decision is clear — the judge found that Mr. Westcott could not prove anything other than he was of perfectly sound mind when he engaged in complex negotiations over several weeks with multiple parties to transact a lucrative sale of the property that netted him a substantial profit,” Perry’s attorney, Eric Rowen, said in a statement to People.
“The evidence shows that Mr. Westcott breached the contract for no other reason than he had changed his mind,” said Rowen. “We look forward to wrapping this matter up at the scheduled damage trial phase set for February 13 and 14, if not before.”
Westcott filed a lawsuit against the couple’s business manager, Bernie Gudvi, in August 2020, alleging he was heavily medicated and not of sound mind when he contracted with Perry for the $15-million sale. Shortly after the contract was signed, Westcott and his lawyers alleged that he was unable to properly review the contract because he had been on “several intoxicating pain-killing opiates” at the time.
Westcott said in his lawsuit that he had a six-hour back surgery several days before being presented with the proposed real estate contract and had been prescribed powerful medications that left him “intoxicated” at signing time.
The trial began in late September, and the judge has since bifurcated the case. The “Roar” singer is expected to testify in front of the judge in the countersuit regarding damages.
Westcott’s son, Chart Westcott, told People, “While we do not agree with [the judge’s] ruling and wish he had spelled our father’s name correctly in his ruling, we accept it.” “Katy Perry will now have to testify, in person, on damages and the contradictory claims she has made over lost income for the rental of my father’s home. While this has been a long road, the fight for my father is not over and we will continue to represent him and his legacy of incredible achievements.”
A Los Angeles city employee who was trapped in Gaza for weeks has been safely evacuated from the besieged territory, according to the mayor’s office.
“Our office has been working to get him to safety and I have been in regular contact with his son. I am relieved to announce today that the employee is now safe in a neighboring country and out of the war zone,” Mayor Karen Bass said Thursday afternoon in a statement.
The city employee is Simi Valley resident Sohail Biary, according to a person with knowledge of the situation who was not authorized to speak publicly.
Hundreds of Palestinians with foreign passports have been allowed to leave Gaza since Wednesday after weeks of attention on their plight, according to the Associated Press.
The isolated Palestinian territory has faced a worsening humanitarian crisis amid brutal Israeli airstrikes. More than 9,000 people in Gaza have been killed, according to the Hamas-run Gaza Health Ministry. The war began on Oct. 7, ignited by Hamas’ devastating attacks inside Israel that killed more than 1,400.
Biary’s son, Khalid Biary, spoke to the Ventura County Star last week about his father’s situation, telling the paper that the 53-year-old man had traveled to his hometown of Gaza City to visit his parents before war broke out in the region. Biary works as a district supervisor for the city’s General Services Department and has four children, according to the Star.
“He came here with nothing and started a life here,” Khalid Biary told the Star of his father, saying the elder Biary had sought asylum in the U.S. 30 years ago and settled in Simi Valley. Khalid Biary did not immediately respond to an interview request from The Times.
With borders closed and his father trapped in an increasingly desperate situation, Khalid Biary had reached out to the U.S. State Department for help and was told to direct his father to the Egyptian border, according to the Star. Sohail Biary waited for hours at the Egyptian border with his American passport but was turned back three times, according to the Star.
“I can’t explain the feeling of not knowing whether my dad is alive or not,” Khalid Biary told the paper before his father’s evacuation, describing how his father was facing worsening bombings, constant power outages and difficulty finding food. This was Sohail Biary’s first visit to see his parents and other relatives in 15 years, according to KABC-TV.
In her statement Thursday, Bass thanked President Biden; the White House Office of Intergovernmental Affairs director, Tom Perez; California Sen. Alex Padilla; and Rep. Julia Brownley (D-Westlake Village) for “working with us to arrive at today’s result.”
“We look forward to welcoming our colleague home,” Bass said.
The father arrested on suspicion of killing two of his four young children has a criminal history along with a string of domestic violence cases and had lost custody of his children last year, court documents reveal.
Prospero Serna was detained by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department on Sunday for allegedly killing two of his four biological children, who were discovered by authorities after their mother made a frantic 911 call directing deputies to an apartment in Lancaster, according to the department.
All four children were found in a bedroom with lacerations, and two died after being taken to a hospital. The other two were in stable condition with non-life-threatening injuries. Their names and ages were not immediately released.
On Monday, the Sheriff’s Department announced it had enough evidence to charge Serna with killing the two children. His booking was delayed by the fact that Serna was not cooperating with deputies, according to the Sheriff’s Department.
Court documents show he had a troubled history with the law since at least 2006, when a restraining order was filed against him in San Bernardino County, according to court records.
That same year he was charged with contempt of court and disobeying a court order, though it is not clear if that was related to the previous harassment case. He was eventually convicted in 2009 of a lower charge of failure to appear after he posted a written promise to appear.
In Los Angeles, a woman filed for a restraining order in a domestic violence prevention case involving minor children in 2007. There were no documents immediately available in that case, and it was not clear whether the restraining order was granted.
Serna was charged in 2014 in San Bernardino with battery on a spouse, though the charges were dismissed three years later in the interest of justice, according to court records.
In 2016, Serna was again hit with a temporary restraining order that said he could not harass, attack or strike another woman who was the mother of his children.
Then in 2021, another temporary restraining order was issued against Serna in a San Bernardino County case involving a man. That order was dismissed a few weeks later.
Serna lost custody of four of his children to their mother in July 2022, according to court documents reviewed by The Times. “Mother is awarded sole legal and sole physical custody of all minors,” a judge wrote in the July 13, 2022, order.
Based on those records, the children would now range in age from 3 to 7. Two are 3-year-old twins.
In the Los Angeles County Superior Court order, the judge decided Serna could have “unmonitored visits” with his four children at his own mother’s home, as well as monitored visits outside that home.
The judge specified that Serna’s visits would not occur at the home of the children’s mother. The order did not cite any conduct by Serna for the limited access to his children.
Other criminal cases found in court records include a conviction for causing a fire to a structure or forest.
Serna was active on social media until a few days before his arrest.
He was posting regularly on Facebook about the Israel-Hamas war in October, calling for an end to the violence in the Middle East.
“Ceasefire or the world will be uninhabitable for everyone,” Serna said in an Oct. 16 post on what appeared to be his Facebook account.
He had previously posted about his own history with mental health authorities.
“Do u guys remember that time I told u guys I was tortured and injected with different drugs at a mental facility (Arrowhead regional) well I wasnt lying. So don’t judge the way I think. How would u think if u were injected by an unknown poison?”
A mother of eight children is accused of abducting her children, taking them from their foster care facilities, and then fleeing across five states until police caught up with her in a small town in northern California.
Trista Fullerton, 36, allegedly violated a court order of custody for the eight children, as well as the terms of her probation for a domestic violence conviction, when she took the kids from the town of Rogers, Ark., and fled across the country while Arkansas police tried to reach her, according to court records.
Her father told police that Fullerton planned on heading to Arizona “to start a new life,” according to a warrant for her arrest. Instead, Fullerton was found in Anderson, Calif. — 150 miles north of Sacramento — where police said they spotted her and six of her children in a pickup truck filled with trash after someone reported that Fullerton was “displaying bizarre behavior.”
According to an arrest warrant affidavit obtained by The Times, police from Rogers began trying to contact Fullerton on Oct. 17, after receiving a report that she had “interfered with court ordered custody of eight children.”
Rogers Police officials declined to provide additional details on the case, including who made the initial report. A spokesperson for the department said the case is still under investigation.
According to the affidavit, police reached out to Fullerton’s father, David Fullerton, on Oct. 18, and he told police that his daughter had told him about taking the children to Arizona. Police learned the following day that she and the children were in California, according to the affidavit.
Police had made contact with her and the children in Redding, about 15 miles north of Anderson, but she and the children were not detained because there was no warrant.
Rogers Police filed an arrest warrant Oct. 20, and the next day, police in Anderson, Calif., spotted her and six of her children in a Dodge pickup with Arkansas plates, according to a statement from the Anderson Police Department.
Two of her other children were located at a nearby home in Cottonwood, according to the statement, and they were taken into custody by Shasta County Children and Family Services.
Fullerton was booked at Shasta County Jail and is being held without bail, according to jail records. She is expected to appear in court Thursday.
Trista Fullerton, 36, allegedly violated a court order of custody for her eight children, as well as the terms of her probation for a domestic violence conviction.
(Anderson Police Department)
David Fullerton, said during a brief call with a reporter that his daughter had made a “mistake” and is “innocent.”
“My daughter stands a chance, you know,” he said. “She made a mistake. She went across the line taking her babies but she didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to.”
Court records indicate that Fullerton was on probation at the time of her arrest in Anderson. Records also show that she had been involved in at least two instances of domestic violence, twice violating court orders to stay away from the victim. In one incident, she was accused of punching the father of one of her children in the face.
Fullerton pleaded guilty to domestic violence on July 12, 2022 in Arkansas, after she “hit the father of her child in the face, causing physical injury” in June 2021.
The victim is only identified in the court documents as a 40-year-old Hispanic male.
In a court record dated Aug. 9, 2021, Fullerton indicated she had seven children at the time, ages 15, 14, 11, 7, 3, 4, and 5 months.
She also pleaded guilty to another case of domestic battery for a Feb. 5, 2020, incident in which she “punched her boyfriend in the head multiple times and scratched his face, causing redness and bleeding on his face,” according to court records.
Fullerton pleaded guilty to both incidents, and was sentenced to two years of probation, court records show. The terms of her probation, however, required that she not drink alcohol, not break the law and not leave the state of Arkansas without the approval of her probation officer.
The agreement stipulated that if she violated the terms of her probation, she could face a sentence of 12 years in jail.
On Wednesday, prosecutors requested her probation be rescinded and a $50,000 warrant was issued for her arrest.
Prosecutors said the case is currently being reviewed and it was unclear what, if any, new charge might be filed.
ATLANTA — The Atlanta Braves cut infielder Charlie Culberson hours before his dad was set to throw the ceremonial first pitch to him for Father’s Day.
Culberson, a 34-year-old from Rome, Georgia, was designated for assignment before Sunday’s game at Truist Park against Colorado. He was brought up from Triple-A Gwinnett on May 19 but had not appeared in any games since his promotion.
His father, Charles Culberson, played in the minor leagues in the 1980s.
The Atlanta Braves’ Charlie Culberson was designated for assignment hours before his father was set to throw out a ceremonial first pitch on Father’s Day,
After the Braves released the younger Culberson, the father of Braves outfielder Michael Harris II threw out the first pitch at Truist Park. Harris went 5 for 5 and scored three times for Atlanta in the 14-6 win.
Culberson made his big league debut in 2012 with San Francisco. He is a .248 hitter with 30 homers and 145 RBIs in 589 games.
He also played for Atlanta for parts of three seasons from 2018-2020, hitting a career-high 12 homers in 2018.
Catcher Chadwick Tromp was recalled from Gwinnett. He is 2 for 16 in six games with the Braves this year.
Father’s Day can be an occasion to give your favorite guy the gift of well-being.
getty
Are you still searching for a Father’s Day gift for the man – or men – in your life? Why not offer a gift that supports his well-being? (He probably has more than enough ties, am I right?) Here are 15 ideas inspired by the five facets of wellness design.
Health & Fitness Facet Gifts
Air fryers can cook favorite foods with less fat.
getty
Health and fitness facet-inspired gifts can help him eat or work better. Other ideas, not detailed here, can help him sleep more soundly or exercise at home.
1. Does your giftee want to ditch his dad bod by eating more healthfully this summer? A countertop air fryer can help him enjoy his favorite foods, but with less fat.
2. Another great gift for healthy cooking is a multi-cooker with steam and slow cooker settings.
3. Another way for Dad to get healthier this summer is to improve his work from home space. An ergonomic desk chair will relieve some of the aches and pains that come from sitting improperly.
Safety & Security Facet Gifts
An air purifier with HEPA filtration can make Dad’s home safer during smoke and pollution events.
getty
Gifts inspired by the second facet of wellness design can protect him and his loved ones from illness and injury.
4. Smoke from wildfires reminds us of the importance of indoor air quality. Protect Dad with an air purifier featuring HEPA filtration, no ozone, and sized to meet the space where he spends the most time.
5. Fathers with teens and children will appreciate the safety provided by a gun safe with a biometric lock, so only he can access his firearm.
6. For dads who love to cook, a portable induction burner will speed his dishes to the table and be speedier to clean up too. While providing chef-level control, they’ll also protect against indoor pollution and most kitchen fires and burns.
Accessibility Facet Gifts
A shower bench gives Dad a place to sit while showering, or rest his shampoo and soap.
getty
Gifts inspired by the accessibility facet can make daily chores and hobbies easier, more convenient and even safer for everyone, but especially recipients who might have vision, balance or reach issues.
7. Dads who cook will also appreciate drawer dividers and pull-out organizers to make accessing his tools faster and easier.
8. Another great accessibility gift for the man in your life is task lighting where he needs it most – whether in his hobby space, home office or kitchen work center. This can prevent eye strain, errors and injuries.
9. Benches can be great gifts for accessibility. Get a waterproof version for his shower, entryway or garden. These can allow him to sit, set down packages or enjoy his hobby seated, rather than bending over.
Functionality Facet Gifts
Hands-free faucets can make meal prep and cleanup easier — and reduce germ spread at home.
Kohler Co.
Functionality is also about making a home more user-friendly, but can add resilience and durability too. Here are some gifts you can give dad to achieve these benefits at home:
10. A non-gas fueled generator can power his essentials during a power outage. There are backup power units for refrigerators, air conditioning units, TVs and computers that don’t create toxic gas fumes.
11. Automated window coverings can be programmed to block out sun during the hottest part of the day, protecting Dad’s art, rugs and furniture and lowering his utility bill. It can also make it appear that he’s home when he’s visiting you or another loved one.
12. Replacing dad’s sink is probably too big of a job, but you can give him accessories that turn the one he has into a pro-style chef sink and make meal prep and cleanup easier. These can include colander, drying rack, pull-out or hands-free faucet, soap dispenser and/or dishwasher-safe cutting board.
Comfort & Joy Facet Gifts
Anti-fatigue mats make great gifts for those who love to spend long hours cooking or enjoying … [+] hobbies
Comfort and joy are favorite wellness design facets for most people. They’re also often the easiest to choose and give, as they encompass so many areas of life. Here are a few ideas for this year.
13. Video picture frames can rotate Dad’s favorite photos from vacations, hobbies, sporting events, friendships, family gatherings and other cherished memories.
14. Give your father or husband something you or your kids have personally crafted for him. Having beautiful mementos that enhance a home’s décor while evoking a loved one can add comfort and joy to his space.
15. Enhance Dad’s hobby space with an anti-fatigue mat. It will make standing for hours more comfortable (and healthier for his back, legs, hips and feet).
Father’s Day 2023 is just around the corner. This year, Dad doesn’t want another tie or gag gift. Instead, choose something special for the home. After all, home and decor gifts are things dad can use every day. From the kitchen to the living room, bathroom, and even the backyard, here are the ten best home decor gifts to give this Father’s Day.
7th Avenue Armchair With Ottoman
7th Avenue Armchair With Ottoman
7th Avenue Co
What’s better than a “Dad Chair?” One that actually adds something decorative to the room. Instead of an ugly recliner or something upholstered in tacky faux leather—why not get Dad the 7th Avenue Armchair With Ottoman? Non-toxic (OEKO-TEX certified), stain-resistant, and machine washable—it stands up to beer, wine, pups, and even the littlest ones who made him a dad. Choose from slipcovers in a range of neutral colors including white, natural, black, and grey. Did we mention it’s incredibly comfortable?
Esterno Outdoor 4- Pc. Pool Table Set
Esterno Outdoor 4- Pc. Pool Table Set
Macys
Does Dad fancy himself to be a pool shark or perhaps a ping-pong champion? Instead of limiting him to the game room or the basement why not let him enjoy the outdoors this summer with this great convertible table by HB Home from Macy’s? It easily turns from a pool table to a ping pong table and even a dining table with included benches. It’s a Father’s Day gift the whole family can use and enjoy.
Four Seasons Bathrobe
Four Seasons Bathrobe
Four Seasons
Even if you can’t gift Dad a stay at the Four Seasons this year, you can get him the bathrobe. Made from 100 percent velour jacquard cotton, it has a tailored fit and features a double belt loop. It’s perfect for hotel connoisseurs or any dad who needs to level up his relaxation game.
Weezie Bath Towel Bundles
Weezie Towels Bath Bundles
Weezie
However, if you’re looking for a luxury gift that every dad will love— there is nothing better than Bath Bundles from Weezie. These beautiful yet sleek towels don’t lose their fluff and complement any style of bathroom. Many different pipping color options are available, including grey, black, navy, and light blue hues. Then personalize with a choice of monograms in different styles and colors.
LesRuches Candles
LesRuches candles
LesRuches
If Dad likes the finer things, he will surely appreciate LesRuches Candles. With a slew of celebrity devotees including Ryan Seacrest, these candles feature stylish marble vessels that look good just about anywhere from a fireplace mantle to a bookshelf, or coffee table. Choose from glass, white, or black marble vessels. Each one is sleek and sophisticated, and most importantly, the candles smell incredible.
PunkMeTender Minis
An original PunkMeTender work of art
Art Angels
Or is Dad more of an art guy? Currently featured at Art Angels in Los Angeles, PunkMeTender has hand-painted original minis with butterflies in the artist’s signature aesthetic. These pieces are fun, cheerful, and ideal for any art lover. Whether Dad has been a long time collector or is just getting started, these works might be small in size, but they make a big impact on the wall or shelf.
Mezcal Verde Amarás
Mezcal Verde Amarás Limited Edition Bottles
Mezcal Verde Amarás
But if Dad is an art lover who appreciates a fine mezcal, there couldn’t be a better gift than Mezcal Verde Amarás featuring the Artist Series of labels designed by Luvia Lazo, Curiot Tlapazotl, Melissa Avila (M.A Studio), Sergio Sánchez Santamaría, José Olivarez, or Ananas Ananas. The aesthetic of these limited-edition bottles just pops on a bar cart or bookshelf, adding color and fun he will certainly say “cheers” to.
Brandless 5-Ply Stainless Steel Cookware Set
Brandless 5-Ply Stainless Steel Cookware Set
Brandless
Is Dad a home chef? Why not get him a new set of cookware from Brandless? Accessibly priced, it includes an eight-inch Stainless Steel Fry Pan, a 12-inch fry pan, a four-quart saute pan with a lid as well as an 8-quart stock pot with a lid.
This set is compatible with all types of ovens including electric, gas, induction, ceramic, and halogen ranges. The five-layer construction is durable and designed to heat evenly.
The Citizenry Tikal Wood Serving Bowl
The Citizenry Tikal Wood Serving Bowl
The Citizenry
Or if Dad is more into serving chips and dip, he will love this gorgeous wood serving bowl from The Citizenry. Available in small, medium, and large sizes as well as a set of three—this modern piece is handmade by artisans in the Petén Jungle of Guatemala. It is made from sustainably-sourced fair-trade wood, certified by the Forest Stewardship Council (FSC). Choose from White Cedar, Mahogany, and Granadillo woods.
Hisense 55 Inch U7H Television
Hisense 55 Inch U7H Television
Hisense
If Dad is a gamer, he will truly appreciate the Hisesne 55” U7H television. Featuring ULED technology it enhances clarity, color accuracy, picture depth, and motion. Google TV content can be accessed through the in-bezel microphones. It also has a 480 motion rate, 4k 120Hz variable refresh rate, Dolby Vision Gaming, FreeSync Premium, and auto-low latency game mode—all of which level up the gaming experience.
When his 18-year-old daughter, Francine, first started losing weight, in the fall of 2018, Kenneth initially thought it was a good thing. Francine had always been artistic but never particularly athletic, which puzzled her father. Kenneth, now 47, is a runner with dozens of half-marathons and even one ultramarathon under his belt.
When Francine started to express an interest in exercising and joining Kenneth’s wife, Tracy, for workouts, Kenneth and Tracy thought it was a positive sign. When Francine announced that she was vegan, they rolled with it.
Then Francine’s hair started to fall out.
It took more than a year of trying different therapists, while Francine got progressively worse, for Kenneth and Tracy to grasp just how sick their daughter was. (I’ve changed the family members’ names to protect their privacy.) Kenneth started to add up exactly what his daughter was eating in a day and realized it wasn’t nearly enough. He also suspected that Francine had learned some of her new eating habits—such as replacing breakfast with bulletproof coffee—from watching him.
Around the same time that Francine began struggling, Kenneth was following his own intense diet while on a quest to improve his running time. When Francine asked about his eating, he explained what he was doing and why. “I think I was probably malnourished myself, and in that place where you can’t help but obsess about food and talk about it constantly,” he says. Kenneth thought that he was modeling healthy eating and exercise habits to his daughter. “I just had no idea that the stuff she was asking me was really her disease asking,” he says.
For decades, researchers trying to understand the role of a child’s family in eating-disorder development looked almost exclusively to mothers. “The literature on fathers’ child feeding practices is scant,” observed the authors of a scientific-review paper on the topic published in 2014. They could find only 20 studies that included fathers in a meaningful way. “The research that has included fathers has focused on fathers who are part of a family in which the mother has an [eating disorder], rather than examining fathers’ unique contributions,” wrote two Yale researchers in their analysis for a 2016 study. More studies on parents and eating habits have been published since that 2014 review, but the gap between research on mothers and research on fathers remains wide.
Scientists and the public alike have long ignored the idea that a father might also struggle with dieting or disordered eating, despite the fact that, according to a 2008 estimate from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), roughly 1 million American men live with eating disorders. Men aren’t supposed to obsess over their weight. Men—especially straight, cisgender, white, thin men—aren’t defined by their appearance to the same degree that women and other marginalized people tend to be. And that might explain why Americans talk much less about how fathers’ eating habits and beliefs around health and weight can influence their children than, say, the motivations of almond moms.
One 2018 study of 658 parents by Yale researchers found that although nearly everyone (93 percent) demonstrated some sort of weight bias, fathers, as well as parents of any gender with the perceived privilege of “healthy weight,” were more likely than mothers to agree with negative statements such as “Severely obese children are unusually untidy” (findings on the differences between mothers’ and fathers’ food parenting vary). Other research concluded that fathers with more education and a higher family income were more likely than other fathers to endorse fat stereotypes. And kids absorb this stigma: Adolescents were more likely to diet and binge eat if their parents talked about weight, according to a 2013 survey published in JAMA Pediatrics of 2,793 kids.
Many experts say that the NIMH’s figure on the number of men living with eating disorders is likely an underestimate: Men don’t tend to disclose their disordered-eating behaviors, and health-care providers don’t think to screen men for symptoms. “Men tell me they don’t have a script for how to talk about diet culture,” Jaclyn Siegel, a social psychologist at San Diego State University, told me in 2020 when I was reporting a story on the coronavirus pandemic’s effects on men’s dieting habits. “But there’s also no script for men to express their own concerns or to seek help, because it isn’t seen as normative for men to develop eating disorders or body-image dissatisfaction.”
What happens instead is a normalization and even a glamorization of men’s relationship with food and exercise. This rests on a common cultural misconception that men not only don’t get eating disorders; they don’t get emotional about food or bodies, period. Many dads go on diets, but far fewer actually call it that. Instead, like Kenneth, dieting dads might get super into long-distance running, or CrossFit, or bodybuilding, or Ironman training. They may become passionate about vegetable gardening; Kenneth and his family used to run an organic farm, and he says his passion for farming led him to preach about “good” and “bad” foods. All of these pursuits can be motivated by an interest in health and wellness—even science, the environment, social justice. But they can also be motivated by a fear of becoming or being perceived as fat, reflecting a broader bias against heavy people. “I used to do a lot of banter about ‘Look at that person; she’s fat,’” Kenneth says. “Or I’d say to the kids, ‘Hey, don’t eat that pizza,’ or ‘Don’t eat too many desserts; that will make you fat.’”
Some research suggests that dads can affect their kids’ relationship with food as much as or perhaps even more than moms do. Findings vary, underscoring the need for more research, but in a 2014 study of more than 2,700 kids, girls whose fathers reported binge eating were 3.38 times more likely to report binge eating themselves, although there was no correlation with mothers’ eating. (The researchers found no relationship between boys’ bingeing and that of parents.) Even if they don’t actively model disordered-eating habits, fathers may withdraw from family meals altogether—something many men can do more easily than women because of societal gender norms around who prepares food.
The little research we have on how dads influence their kids’ relationship with food and their body suggests that dads might be slightly more prone than moms to engage in what researchers call “pressure-to-eat behaviors”—pushing children to eat (or not eat) certain foods in certain amounts. Kyle Ganson, a clinical social worker at the University of Toronto who studies eating disorders in boys and men, speculates that fathers’ pressures on sons may relate to a desire for them to perform athletically in specific ways. “If the dad is pushing the kid in a certain direction with sports, or if the dad is their coach and heavily influencing their exercise plans, that can lead to disordered eating,” he says.
On the flip side, fathers of kids with eating disorders may resort to exerting pressure because they are confused by a child’s inability to comply. “Anecdotally, the phrase I often hear from male caregivers is ‘Why can’t they just eat?’ They may also be more likely to think their child needs to ‘grow up’ or ‘deal with it,’” Ganson says. “Female caregivers tend to be doing a lot of the emotional processing around the eating disorder, while fathers are much more driven by logistics: ‘How do we move to the next phase of treatment? When do we see results?’” And when progress isn’t evident—as it often isn’t in the circular recovery process of eating disorders—dads are more likely to disconnect. “This isn’t really my territory” is another comment Ganson and his colleagues often hear from dads.
This is not to say that men can’t engage emotionally with a sick child, or that managing treatment logistics isn’t valuable. But helping and connecting with a child in eating-disorder recovery requires dads to be vulnerable and humble, skills that they aren’t always asked to employ or that haven’t been modeled for them. And the conditioning to push away feelings and move toward action mirrors the “No pain, no gain” messaging of much of male-diet culture.
Kenneth is now striving for acceptance as he and Tracy support Francine through her eating-disorder recovery. Soon after Kenneth’s realization of just how sick Francine had become, she was admitted to an inpatient recovery program for nine days. When she came home, Kenneth and Tracy began following a common eating-disorder-treatment protocol known as family-based treatment, where parents take full responsibility for feeding a child who can no longer hear hunger cues or make decisions around food, planning and preparing every single meal and snack and monitoring every bite.
There were many nights when Francine cried at the table. Tracy bore the brunt of making the food and talking Francine through the process of eating. “A lot of nights, I could see, she just could not eat unless Mom was there to support her,” Kenneth says. Those were the days he felt most helpless, just as the eating-disorder literature has so often painted fathers. But he began to look for ways to contribute, getting out board games for the family to play after dinner, when Francine had finished eating but still needed some help and distraction from the eating-disorder voice in her head.
Just being there—without judgment, without trying to fix it—made him reconsider what it meant to be Francine’s dad. “I still believe it’s my job to be the protector of my family,” Kenneth says, “but I’ve had to sort of rethink what that looks like.”
In July of 2019, I took an Amtrak train from my home in Boston to my father’s apartment outside of New York City. I had one intention for this visit: to help my father, who is an active crack cocaine user, prevent a fatal drug overdose. Specifically, I was traveling to New York to provide him Narcan (the opioid overdose reversal medicine) and fentanyl testing strips, as well as to teach him how to use them effectively.
I had been spurred to action after he had shared with me that his most recent batch of cocaine had likely been spiked with fentanyl, the potent synthetic opioid fueling our nation’s overdose crisis. Rather than produce its usual, energetic high, the cocaine he had taken caused him to immediately black out. He had woken up hours later on the chilly concrete floor of his basement apartment, unaware of the time that had elapsed. Fearing for his life, I quickly booked a ticket.
That weekend, I distributed several boxes of Narcan and a bagful of testing strips to my father. I showed him, for example, how to break down samples of his crack cocaine with vitamin C to ensure accurate testing. We passed the time by chatting about harm reduction, drug policy and my own burgeoning advocacy work in the addiction and mental health fields. It wasn’t a conventional parent-child visit by any means. However, it was a necessary one to protect his health and safety.
Though I returned home to Boston comforted by the knowledge that I had acted positively to improve my father’s well-being, I would soon come to understand how important this brief visit truly was: Not only did it set the foundation for a fundamental transformation in our relationship, it also began to engender my father’s own advocacy and sense of empowerment as a drug user.
Prior to making this trip, my interactions with my father regarding his substance use were fraught, secretive and argumentative. I had spent most of my adolescence alternating between periods of feeling actively hostile toward him and periods defined by my desperate attempts to “save” him by pleading with him to become abstinent. Though I was acting from a place of sincere worry and deep love, this pattern often drove us into conflict. We yelled at, we fought with and we spoke profoundly hurtful words to each other.
My behavior was fueled by the messages I had received (from my family, from our culture) about my father’s substance use, which were unambiguous: that it was his fault, that it was a reflection of his character or his commitment to me, that he could stop if he wanted to ― if he would only love us enough. Ultimately, I came to believe that his continued substance use and our ability to build a relationship were fundamentally dichotomous. From my perspective, if we were to have a chance at an authentic relationship, he would first need to stop using.
Yet, when I boarded that train to New York City, I made the choice to flip this corrosive script. By choosing to practice harm reduction, I made the decision to prioritize my father’s safety and dignity — and our unconditional love for each other — over his abstinence. I ceased my attempts to force him to change in ways that he might not be ready or able to, making it possible for us to trade bitter, unproductive arguments for open dialogue and non-coercive support. Most important, through my actions that weekend, I communicated meaningfully to him: I love you, I value you, I want to be in a relationship with you precisely as you are right now, and I will no longer judge you.
The author on their grandmother’s lawn with their dad (1997/1998).
The impact on our relationship was transformative. My father immediately began to feel more comfortable sharing his experiences with substance use and addiction with me, which was important for two reasons: On a practical level, this honest communication meant that I had accurate information about what he was using and how it was affecting him, making it possible for me to provide effective harm reduction guidance, but, importantly for our relationship, it also meant that we were no longer operating under the pressures of secrecy, avoidance and lies. As my father was able to trust that his disclosures would be met with curiosity and support instead of strife and critique, there was no longer any reason for him to hide or deny that he was using. Instead, we were able to talk about what was happening directly, act to preserve his safety and prepare to face it in partnership.
However, what has been most meaningful to me has been the effect these relational shifts have had on the time that we spend together. No longer preoccupied with convincing him to become abstinent, I have instead been able to focus on simply enjoying my father’s companionship and personhood. I have been able to appreciate our spirited political bantering, the lively stories from his youth that he retells time and time again, and the tender moments of care, love and pride that are shared between us, such as when he eagerly printed copies of my first published article to share with his friends. In addition, now that I understand addiction as a health concern ― rather than a moralistic one ― my father’s continued substance use is no longer wounding to me. I know that he loves me fiercely and profoundly, and always has; his substance use and addiction never had anything at all to do with that.
More recently, I have observed an additional, deepening change in my father’s behavior ― one that addresses not only how we relate to each other but also how he relates to himself and the communities within which he participates. Historically, my father has harbored deep feelings of shame surrounding his substance use, referring to it as his “bad behavior,” and his life as a series of cumulative mistakes. These sentiments had been perpetually heartbreaking to hear, and I longed to find the means to eliminate his internalized stigma. I wanted him to see what I knew: that he was a deeply compassionate and gentle human being who would offer you the shirt off his back without a second thought and who had filled my childhood with history, learning and adventure. Thankfully, these harmful beliefs are also finally shifting.
Instead, in their place, my father has begun to develop a political and moral voice amid our nation’s drug war and overdose crisis. Throughout our conversations, he speaks up about the harms and needs he has borne witness to as a drug user: the friends he has lost to overdose and mass incarceration, the importance of educating clinicians and policymakers about addiction and harm reduction, and the need to move substance use “out of the shadows” and into open discussion. He has also taken action. He shared with me that he has distributed Narcan and fentanyl testing strips to his drug dealer, who now carries them and offers them to people who use substances on the street. My father has become an empowered advocate, and it is helping to save lives. I could not be more proud and gratified.
If you have a loved one who is presently struggling with an active substance use disorder, I share this story to show that there is a different and healthier approach we can take toward relating to them and their ongoing substance use: one defined by the dignity, compassion and connection we all deserve, a truth no less inclusive of people who use substances. You don’t have to choose harmful ultimatums and “tough love”; instead, you can make the choice to foster a loving, nonjudgmental relationship with your loved one precisely as they are right now. Not only is it possible to support them as they continue using, when faced with the violence of social stigma, criminalization and a toxic drug supply, that is the time they will likely most need your care and presence.
When I boarded that train to New York City back in 2019, I had desperately wanted to save my father’s life. Hopefully, the harm reduction I practiced that weekend has helped actualize that possibility. Yet it has already done much more: Harm reduction has saved and transformed my relationship with my father, making it possible for us to have a meaningful, open and tender connection no matter where he may be with his substance use. For that, I am profoundly and perpetually thankful.
If you would like to learn about harm reduction and how we can create a compassionate, dignified world for all people who use substances, please visit the National Coalition for Harm Reduction’s Principles of Harm Reduction.
Eri Solomon (they/them/theirs) is a harm reduction advocate and service provider residing in Boston. Their professional background is in community organizing, social justice education and human services. They live with their best friend and two feline companions, Bug and Ringo.
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“It Is Halloween Night and You Are Dressed as a Hot Dog” is one of those poems in Above Ground,Clint Smith’s luminous new collection, that plays like a home movie. We know the scene, or some equally winsome version of it, so we are primed for this glimpse into one father’s experience. The first lines pick up where the title leaves off:
Why we have chosen to bundle you into a costume of cured meat I do not know. But your mother is dressed as a pickle and I am dressed as a bottle of ketchup and together we make a family of ballpark delicacies.
The twisted humor of parenthood is on display, as when a stuffed bear momentarily appears to eat the “human-hot-dog-baby / (which sounds unsettling but is actually adorable),” Smith writes. But what gives this spread in the book its disquieting shimmer is the ballpark poem on the opposite page: about New Orleans’ Superdome in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, a designated refuge soon to become its own disaster zone.
Above Ground, by Clint Smith
“My home was destroyed like so many other people’s, and I finished my senior year of high school in Houston, Texas,” says Smith, speaking from his parked car shortly after school drop-off in Maryland. (He has two children, ages five and four.) “I’m 34 now and it was 17 years ago, so it very cleanly sort of bifurcated my life in ways that are pretty wild.” Some of the book’s poems have been published previously (the Superdome one ran in the New York Times Magazine), but such juxtapositions heighten the emotional charge. “I wanted poems like that to sit alongside one another because that is how we experience the world. It’s not neatly compartmentalized,” Smith explains. There is no joy today, sadness tomorrow—especially with kids, whose questions about animal arcana (there’s a poem about giraffe horns called “Ossicones”) might coincide with a devastating news alert. In a way, he says, human existence is “just a series of attempts to hold the complexities of life within our bodies, all at the same time.”
The same goes for Smith’s three-day wellness diary, which glides through distraction and elation and nostalgia. Still, it’s hard not to feel the weight of “It’s All in Your Head,” a poem (written with his wife’s consent) about a grave pregnancy complication dismissively overlooked by a doctor; her self-advocacy proved vital. Can a poem be a call to action, an impetus for keen observation, a time capsule for the next generation? Smith, who often writes during in-between moments (at the barbershop, during naps), is now raising a first-time reader. “It’s just so remarkable to watch the world become legible to him in a different way,” he says of his kindergartener. “It’s almost like somebody who didn’t have the right prescription of glasses, and now, suddenly, everything that was blurry they can see.”
Thursday, March 9
5 a.m.: My alarm rings and my hand fumbles on the bedside table in search of the snooze button, which I press, and wonder how close I can cut it before I risk missing my flight this morning. I’m at a hotel near the Newark airport, and I have a 6:30 a.m. flight to Toronto and then Windsor, Ontario, for a story I’m reporting for the Atlantic. I hate early morning flights. I mean truly, I’d rather walk across a bed of hot coals then wake up this early, but it’s the only flight that will get me to my destination with enough time to still make use of the day. I only have 24 hours in Ontario before I have to turn back around and leave. I live in Maryland, but am flying out of Newark because I had a speaking event and book signing at The College of New Jersey last night. I loved spending time with the students and faculty there, they were incredibly thoughtful and asked great questions.
Onstage with Michael Mitchell at The College of New Jersey.
I’d like to bring out *** very special guest I heard you will go to the other side Mhm joe.
WATCH: Boy surprised by military dad’s homecoming during zoo dolphin show
Updated: 5:40 PM CDT Oct 11, 2022
The Indianapolis Zoo’s marine mammal team recently helped surprise a 9-year-old boy during a dolphin show.As Joseph got up close and personal with the zoo’s dolphins, he was surprised with the return of his dad, Petty Officer 1st Class Joe Thomas of the U.S. Navy, who is stationed in San Diego.Watch Joseph’s reaction to his dad’s homecoming in the video above.
INDIANAPOLIS (Video above: Indianapolis Zoo via CNN) —
The Indianapolis Zoo’s marine mammal team recently helped surprise a 9-year-old boy during a dolphin show.
As Joseph got up close and personal with the zoo’s dolphins, he was surprised with the return of his dad, Petty Officer 1st Class Joe Thomas of the U.S. Navy, who is stationed in San Diego.
Watch Joseph’s reaction to his dad’s homecoming in the video above.
That special dad in your life deserves something great to celebrate him on Father’s Day. We’ve gathered up 5 Father’s Day gifts dad will love.
This month, Baskin-Robbins Canada introduced the all-new Grillmaster Cake, shaped as an appetizing and flaming grill, topped with burger patties and sausages for all grill-lovers and perfectly suited to kick off the summer.
Teva’siconic Hurricane XLT sandals have gotten a fresh comfort upgrade – they have now been outfitted with soft heel-strap padding and a new, modern sole featuring even better traction than ever before.
Another great pair of sandals are The Fanning from Reef. They are a sporty, comfortable and water-friendly shoe to keep dad comfortable all day long. There’s also a surprise at the bottom of the shoe: The Fanning features a bottle opener built into the foot bend of the shoe so dads never have to worry about forgetting one.
TheWorkout Ready Compression Tee from Reebok is perfect forfitness fanatic fathers. Designed to keep dad dry and comfortable during high intensity training, the moisture-wicking build and targeted mesh insert of the tee help regulate temperature so all focus can be on fitness efforts.
Perfect for easy transition from the office to a night out in the town, dad will love the versatile Skechers Garza – Romano. These slip-on Oxford style design features a canvas, synthetic and mesh upper in a Classic Fit,Skechers Air-Cooled Memory Foam® insole and a Skechers Goga Mat Arch for added support.
