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Tag: family

  • Tamera Mowry Is Glad Adam Housley’s Father Discharged From Hospital

    Tamera Mowry Is Glad Adam Housley’s Father Discharged From Hospital

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    Tamara Mowry and Adam Housley
    Robin L Marshall/Getty Images

    Tamera Mowry-Housley is grateful that her husband Adam Housley’s father has been discharged from the hospital.

    “My father n law [sic] has been in the hospital for quite some time. He was released yesterday,” Mowry-Housley, 46, wrote via Instagram Story on Friday, September 20. “#ThankGod. Nurses are the best.”

    Mowry-Housley also reposted her husband’s update from earlier on Friday.

    “Very cool moment. My pop is recovering and now home thankfully and doing well, but before he left @kaiserpermanente one of the amazing nurses Tunde … plays the Soprano sax every week around the hospital,” the TV journalist, 53, wrote via Instagram, sharing footage of the nurse’s performance. “Dad and mom and I got a very cool private serenade. Thanks to all the nurses and doctors who did a fabulous job!”

    Tamera Mowry and Husband Adam Housley’s Relationship Timeline

    Related: Tamera Mowry and Adam Housley’s Relationship Timeline

    Head before heart! Tamera Mowry and husband Adam Housley have a love story for the ages — but they took time to make sure their romance was meant to last before getting serious. “Adam and I took a break from dating for about a year,” Mowry told Essence magazine in July 2018. “We missed each other and […]

    Neither Tamera nor Housley clarified why his father was hospitalized.

    The Sister, Sister alum and Housley have been married since 2011, going on to welcome son Aden, 11, and daughter Ariah, 9. Through the years, the couple has focused on their connection.

    “[Quarantine] definitely has tested our relationship,” Mowry-Housley exclusively told Us Weekly in November 2020. “I mean, kudos to couples where it hasn’t, but I think both of us are somewhat workaholics. I would travel back and forth working on a talk show. He was a news reporter. So being, I don’t want to say stuck together, but, together all the time, it’s not like you’re relearning each other over again, but this is the biggie.”

    She added, “We’re both dealing with the stresses of life, right? The pandemic in maybe different ways. And you’re forced to deal with that. So, it’s like you’re stressed together [and we] learning to have patience with each other. Food and wine always help [too]!”

    Additionally, Tamera long had twin sister Tia Mowry to lean on, even costarring on the likes of Sister, Sister, Twitches, Double Wedding and their Tia & Tamera docuseries on Style Network. However, Tia hinted in a Friday trailer of her My Next Act series that the siblings were no longer tight. (Tia and Tamera also have two brothers: Tavior and Tahj.)

    Everything Tia and Tamara Mowry Have Said About Their Twin Bond Through the Years

    Related: Tia and Tamera Mowry’s Candid Quotes About Their Twin Bond Over the Years

    Twins Tia Mowry and Tamera Mowry-Housley have gone through their respective acting careers side-by-side. The siblings rose to fame playing separated-at-birth twins on Sister, Sister from 1994 to  1994. Tia and Tamera have since costarred in Disney Channel’s Seventeen Again (alongside their brother Tahj Mowry) and Twitches franchise; a Lifetime movie titled Double Wedding; as […]

    “I’ve always wanted the family dynamic of having a mom and a dad in one household. When you’re dropping your kids off, you actually visually see how that is no longer,” Tia, 46, said in the trailer. “Being alone has been the most challenging part of my divorce. It’s times like this when I feel and wish that my sister and I were still close and I could pick up the phone and call her, but that’s just not where we are right now.”

    Tia split from husband Cory Hardrict, with whom she shares two children, in October 2022. Their divorce was finalized in April 2023.

    It is not known what led to the alleged falling-out — Tamera has not publicly addressed the situation — but the former Real cohost has been candid about her sister’s next chapter.

    “She’s handling everything with grace. That is what is inspiring,” Tamera previously told Us in December 2022. “You have your ups [and] you have your downs — but she’s allowing her experience to change her. I feel [like she has changed] for the better.”

    A source, however, exclusively told Us that Tia was “referring to physical distance between them because of where they both live, not distance between them as it relates to their relationship.”

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    Miranda Siwak

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  • Slain couple found under neighbor’s home died from blunt force trauma to head, coroner says

    Slain couple found under neighbor’s home died from blunt force trauma to head, coroner says

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    A Southern California couple whose bodies were found under their neighbor’s home after being reported missing died from “blunt force trauma to the head,” the San Bernardino County Sheriff’s Department said.

    Daniel Menard, 79, and his wife, Stehanie Menard, 73, had been reported missing in late August from their home on a nudist ranch in Redlands, sparking a search by police and concerns by their friends and family.

    Less than a week later, police were tipped off that their neighbor, Michael Royce Sparks, 62, in Olive Dell Ranch had admitted killing the couple to a family member and was threatening to harm himself. Police surrounded the home and took him into custody Aug. 29 and discovered the couple’s bodies in a concrete bunker under the home.

    Sparks was charged with two counts of murder Sept. 3. The couple’s cause of death was confirmed this week by the county coroner.

    The Menards and their pet shih tzu, Cuddles, were reported missing by a friend after the couple missed a church service. Their car was found unlocked down the road from their home, and Stephanie Menard’s purse and their cellphones were found inside their home.

    A neighbor told local TV stations that Sparks hated the couple and that they feuded over a tree between their properties. The Redlands Police Department gave no comment when asked for an update on a possible motive Tuesday.

    At a candlelight vigil for the couple, friends and neighbors gathered under an Olive Dell Ranch sign with candles, flowers and music to celebrate the Menards’ lives.

    “It’s disheartening, it’s uncomfortable,” one neighbor said of the killings. “In a week, we as a community of Olive Dell Ranch lost three members of our family.” He characterized Stephanie Menard, whom he played bingo with, as a spitfire. “She knew what she wanted, she meant what she said, but she always did it caringly.”

    Olive Dell Ranch is a residential RV park and “the ideal spot to enjoy the nudist/naturist lifestyle whether visiting for a day or an overnight stay,” according to its website.

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    Sandra McDonald

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  • Joey, Matthew and Andy Lawrence Tease ‘Irreverent’ New Show Together

    Joey, Matthew and Andy Lawrence Tease ‘Irreverent’ New Show Together

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    Andew, Matthew and Joey Lawrence
    That’s4Entertainment/Kristin Locurto

    It’s been nearly 30 years since Joey, Matthew and Andy Lawrence costarred in Brotherly Love — and they still enjoy sharing the screen.

    “We’ve talked about [a spinoff], but believe it or not, we came up with this [new] iteration that we feel was really exciting,” Joey, 48, exclusively told Us Weekly at ‘90s Con on Friday, September 13. “It’s called The Lawrence of Brothers Show, and our crew’s here today.”

    He continued, “We’re doing it and we have an amazing team, and it’ll be out next year and we’re really excited about it.”

    According to Joey, The Lawrence of Brothers Show “won’t be expected.”

    Brotherly Love Cast Where Are They Now

    Related: ‘Brotherly Love’ Cast: Where Are They Now?

    The three Lawrence brothers — Joey, Matthew and Andrew — are no strangers to showcasing their sibling connection in real life or on the big screen. The trio played onscreen siblings in NBC’s short-lived sitcom Brotherly Love from 1995 to 1997. (The second and final season aired via The WB.) The comedy followed eldest brother Joe Roman (Joey […]

    “It’s fun, funny and very irreverent. We’re excited about that,” Joey told Us.

    Joey, who got his big break on Mayim Bialik’s Blossom, went on to act with his younger siblings on 1995’s short-lived Brotherly Love sitcom. On the show, Joey played Joe Roman, who returns home to Philadelphia after his father’s death. He quickly learns that his younger half-brothers Matt and Andy need help running the family’s garage.

    “It was just such a dream. It was really cool,” Joey gushed.

    While the three brothers struggled to choose — and, to quote Joey, “remember” — favorite story lines, they, moreso, cited behind-the-scenes adventures as the most memorable.

    “I took Andy out one night [dressed as] Batman and Robin,” Joey recalled. “They let us have the Bat Car!”

    Andy, 36, noted that production let Joey borrow the famous vehicle for “a week or two.”

    “It was incredible. I would actually, like, go out and sit in the Bat Car and I’m a huge Batman fan,” Joey gushed, also pointing out a special moment on set with Matthew, 44. “So there was a series of episodes where I had to train Matt’s character how to work out, and he wouldn’t work out [with] me in real life yet. It was really fun too [and] I actually got to put him through the workouts.”

    A Complete History of Joey Matthew and Andrew Lawrence s Love Lives Through the Years 064

    Related: A Complete History of the Lawrence Brothers’ Messy Love Lives

    The Lawrence brothers — Joey, Matthew and Andrew, respectively — have been entertainment staples since their days headlining the likes of Blossom and Brotherly Love. As the siblings grew up in the spotlight, their respective love lives also made numerous headlines through the years. “Look, it’s all about just trying to be happy,” Joey exclusively […]

    Joey continued, “Then, he ended up, because of those [episodes], he actually started to work out.”

    Of course, the Lawrences didn’t stop working together between Brotherly Love and their new production. They also costarred in the Disney Channel Original Movies Horse Sense and Jumping Ship, as well as several Lifetime movies. Matthew and Andy also made brief cameos on Joey’s Melissa and Joey comedy with Melissa Joan Hart.

    “I saw Mel this morning [at ‘90s Con],” Joey quipped. “I mean, people have asked us to do [a spinoff]. I know stranger things have happened.”

    The brothers, who also cohost a joint “Brotherly Love” rewatch podcast, further thanked fans for their continued support through the years.

    “That’s the best part [of being here] to see the passion out there and you feel how much the time, the moment [and] the projects meant to them growing up,” Joey said. “It’s really such a blessing and I’m so grateful to have that relationship and the communication with a fanbase out there.”

    With reporting by Kat Pettibone

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    Miranda Siwak

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  • Asking Eric: Friend’s treatment of ailing cat is hard to take

    Asking Eric: Friend’s treatment of ailing cat is hard to take

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    Dear Eric: Ordinarily, my friend is loving and affectionate to her middle-aged cat. She takes good care of him, with food, water, and attention. Today, she told me her cat has a condition that requires medical care, but she feels the vet just wants her money.

    Instead, she is choosing a less costly homeopathic route, along with supplements and a modified diet, telling me she knows the cat may not have long to live.

    Though I would follow a different path, I listened to my friend and did not challenge or try to change her personal decision. My problem is that I feel sad for her cat and am surprised; after hearing her gush about how much she loves her pet companion for years, by how casual she now is about his current state.

    Everyone grieves in their own way, and I need to not judge but I find I am disheartened and am judging my friend. How can I frame this situation so that I can be present for and help my friend?

    — Pet Heartsick

    Dear Heartsick: Oh, I feel so sad for this cat and for your friend. It sounds like your friend is making the best decision she can, given her financial circumstances. I know it sounds cruel to you, but she might be backed into a corner. To wit, if she feels she can’t rely on the vet for good advice, it’s likely a kind of hopelessness has crept in.

    In terms of re-framing, it might put your mind at ease to offer a little help. If it’s within your means, you can ask her if she’d like support paying the vet bill. Or, if that’s not possible, you could help her look into lower cost vet care or financial assistance for pet owners. Your local No-Kill shelter or nonprofit is a good place to start searching for resources.

    If she’s resistant, however, remind yourself that this is a significant loss for her and this may be the only way she can wrap her mind around the grief. Being there for her as she processes it is a kindness.

    Dear Eric: My husband died 11 years ago. He was the greatest love of my life (so far?). Things became really bad two years before he passed due to his alcoholism.

    When we met, both of us were clean and sober. About four or five years later, during a romantic weekend, we both lost our sobriety. However, nothing changed between us or our relationship. We only drank on weekends after our son was in bed, and we never frequented bars. We drank at home. His drinking escalated quickly, especially after his father died. Things between us went downhill from there.

    Eventually, I realized I had to leave. But when I found out he had three to six months to live, I moved back to take care of him.

    Since he died, I have not only struggled to survive financially, but I struggle with moving on emotionally. I haven’t dated or sought any relationship with any man. I don’t trust any man who shows an interest in me.

    I want to be happy again. I want to feel that joy, enthusiasm and lust for life, and find someone to share that with! I know something has got to be wrong with me if I’m rejecting men who want to know me.

    Should I seek a therapist or just accept that I might be too messed up to move on?

    — Stuck in Grief

    Dear Stuck: You are not too messed up. You are suffering, yes. You are dealing with a lot, even 11 years later, yes. But you aren’t broken beyond repair.

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    R. Eric Thomas

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  • Asking Eric: Sister’s ex doesn’t know she’s back in town

    Asking Eric: Sister’s ex doesn’t know she’s back in town

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    Dear Eric: My sister was engaged to a guy, “Peter.” I’ve known Peter for a long time. Not long before the wedding, she broke the engagement because she met someone else, “Rick.”

    She married Rick and they moved away. Peter and I have never really spoken about my sister or what happened, but I know he was deeply hurt. I’ve not heard of him dating anyone since then.

    Peter knows she married Rick but she’s not on social media so he may not even know that, in the last three years, they have had two children and just found out she’s pregnant with twins. My sister and Rick are moving back to the area. It’s a small enough place that it’s only a matter of time before they cross paths.

    I’d like to say something to Peter. My husband says to keep well out of it, they’re all adults and will have to work it out for themselves. I know I’d like to be prepared if I were in Peter’s shoes. What do you think?

    — Bad News Bearer

    Dear Bearer: Stay out of it and let Peter take his chances with kismet, coincidence, and all the other cosmic forces that bring exes together at the best/worst possible moments in rom-coms and nighttime soap opera cliffhangers.

    While you’ve known Peter for a while, you write that you haven’t heard about him dating other people. If you were close, he’d tell you himself.

    So, he may not be at a point, emotionally, where your sister’s happy home life will devastate him anymore. Or, if he is still tender, hearing the news from you might feel just as bad as stumbling upon it himself. Leave him be and let the plot mechanics of small-town life do what they will.

    Dear Eric: While shopping at Costco, I witnessed a woman in her 40s, who appeared to be struggling with a large, heavy box on a high shelf. As she attempted to remove it, the box slipped and fell in front of me.

    I hesitated to help, partly out of concern for my own safety in lifting something potentially heavy, and partly because I wasn’t sure how to react. I also thought she could have asked an employee for help, which is what I would have done. By the way, I’m a petite Asian woman in my late 50s, and the lady who dropped the box was a white woman.

    As I walked away, she confronted me, saying she would have offered to help if the roles were reversed. This made me feel guilty, so I offered to assist her, but she declined and walked away upset. I’m left wondering if I was wrong not to help her immediately and if it’s fair for her to have confronted me like that. Additionally, I’m curious if the racial dynamics might have played a role in my reaction or her response.

    — Hesitant Helper

    Dear Helper: One thing is for sure: the lawyers who handle liability for the Costco corporation would have greatly preferred that the woman ask an employee for help with the heavy box instead of trying to wrangle it down herself.

    Other things are less clear. We’ll never know if your race was a motivator for her, consciously or unconsciously. But, as a person of color, being yelled at in public like that possibly brought up hard emotions for you from other experiences that were more overtly racialized. It’s healthy to process that.

    I’m unsure when she wanted your help — while getting the box down or when trying to pick it back up. Either way, her decision-making has nothing to do with you. What if you had a bad back? What if you’d just gotten a manicure? One is never going to go wrong asking another person “Do you want help?” But you can also communicate clearly about what help is possible if it’s asked for. “I don’t feel safe supporting that box, but if you push it back and wait, I can grab an employee.”

    Dear Eric: Your advice to Willed to Give (August 3) may have omitted a key point. The stepson supposedly “whined” his mother into changing her will on her “deathbed”. This has the earmarks of undue influence and other potential legal issues. The daughters would be well advised to see an estate litigation attorney to review these suspicious facts.

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    R. Eric Thomas

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  • Teen charged in shooting of 49ers’ Ricky Pearsall is ‘very sorry,’ attorney says

    Teen charged in shooting of 49ers’ Ricky Pearsall is ‘very sorry,’ attorney says

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    The 17-year-old accused of shooting San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Ricky Pearsall during a botched armed robbery attempt last weekend was arraigned in juvenile court Wednesday, a day after he was charged with multiple felonies, including attempted murder.

    Judge Roger C. Chan read the charges against the teenager, who because he is a minor was referred to only by his initials. The allegations include personal use and intentional discharge of a firearm, assault with a semiautomatic firearm and attempted second-degree robbery,

    The young man, whom police have said lives in Tracy, about 70 miles east of San Francisco, sat facing forward through the short proceeding, next to his court-appointed public defender, Bob Dunlap. His parents sat in the front row of benches reserved for the public, a few feet from their son. His mother required a Spanish-speaking translator.

    Assistant Dist. Atty. David Mitchell said members of Pearsall’s family also attended the hearing, though he did not specify which relatives or whether they joined online or attended in person.

    Neither the suspect nor his family made any public comments. While taking questions from the media after the hearing, Dunlap said the teenager — whom he described as a high school senior — and his parents were “very sorry” about the shooting.

    “This is very, very hard on them,” Dunlap said. “They assured me, and from what little I know, that this is completely out of character for him.”

    Pearsall, 23, was walking back to his car alone after shopping in one of the luxury stores in San Francisco’s Union Square district on Saturday afternoon when, according to police, a gunman confronted Pearsall and tried to rob him, targeting his Rolex watch. A struggle ensued, and the attacker’s gun fired multiple times, San Francisco Police Chief Bill Scott said during a Saturday evening news conference. Both Pearsall and the assailant were shot.

    A bullet struck Pearsall in the chest and exited through his back, missing his vital organs, according to a social media post by his mother. He was treated at San Francisco General Hospital and released Sunday.

    The suspect was shot in his left arm and treated at the same hospital, according to police. Dunlap said his client is bandaged but recovering well.

    Dunlap said it was too early to address questions about why the teenager was in San Francisco, or his motives. Dunlap said he has read a police report on the incident, but has not yet been able to review video of the shooting that investigators are gathering from area surveillance cameras, which he believed would shed more light on what happened.

    He added that there were “extenuating circumstances” that he believed could factor into the case, but provided no details. He also said he wasn’t convinced the attempted murder charge would “hold water at the end of the day.”

    A probation official revealed during the hearing that the suspect has a pending juvenile court matter in San Joaquin County. Officials provided no details on that case, though Dunlap said his client would probably be transferred back to San Joaquin County after the San Francisco proceedings conclude.

    San Francisco Dist. Atty. Brooke Jenkins has not yet said whether she would seek to try the teenager in adult court. That would require a ruling by a judge that “essentially means that the juvenile system would not be equipped to rehabilitate that minor,” Jenkins said.

    Dunlap said it would be inappropriate for the case to be transferred out of juvenile court.

    “I think that my client certainly should be treated as a juvenile. He is a juvenile,” Dunlap said.

    Pearsall, who played for Arizona State and the University of Florida, was drafted by the 49ers in the first round of the 2024 NFL draft. He was sidelined with a shoulder injury during much of the NFL preseason.

    The 49ers have put Pearsall on the non-football injury list, meaning he will miss at least the first four regular-season games. Team officials have said they expect him to make a full recovery.

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    Hannah Wiley

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  • Colorado’s November ballot will have seven citizen initiatives, from abortion rights to ranked-choice voting – The Cannabist

    Colorado’s November ballot will have seven citizen initiatives, from abortion rights to ranked-choice voting – The Cannabist

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    Colorado voters are set to weigh in on ballot questions related to abortion rights, veterinary services, mountain lion trophy hunting and an overhaul of the state’s election system in November.

    The deadline to finalize the state’s ballot is coming Friday, but all of the citizen initiatives — meaning ballot questions pursued by members of the public, rather than the legislature — were finalized late last week. State election officials certified that the final ones had received enough petition signatures after clearing earlier regulatory hurdles.

    Nine ballot measures from the public have been approved. But two of those — the property tax-related initiatives 50 and 108 — are both set to be withdrawn by sponsors as part of negotiations with the governor’s office and the state legislature, which on Thursday passed another property tax relief bill at the end of a special session.

    Read the rest of this story on TheKnow.DenverPost.com.

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    The Cannabist Network

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  • Family of Trader Joe’s store manager killed by LAPD receives $9.5 million settlement

    Family of Trader Joe’s store manager killed by LAPD receives $9.5 million settlement

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    The city of Los Angeles will pay nearly $40 million to settle three lawsuits alleging abuses by the LAPD, including a case brought by the family of a Trader Joe’s manager accidentally killed by a police officer who was firing at a fleeing suspect.

    Melyda “Mely” Corado was fatally shot in 2018 at the Silver Lake store where she worked. Her father and brother sued the city and the officers involved in the shooting, alleging that they opened fire recklessly into the crowded store.

    The $9.5 million settlement with the Corado family, which was previously negotiated but hadn’t been disclosed, was the smallest of three payouts the City Council approved on Friday.

    The others were:

    • $17.7 million for the family of Kenneth French, a 32-year-old mentally disabled man fatally shot by an off-duty LAPD officer inside a Costco in Corona in June 2019.
    • $11.8 million for James Simpson, an elderly man who sustained a traumatic brain injury after being struck by a traffic signal pole toppled in an accident caused by an LAPD detective who ran a red light.

    The council approved all three settlements unanimously.

    In a statement released through their attorneys, Corado’s family members said they would “keep her memory alive always.”

    “Nothing will bring Mely back to us and we are forever heartbroken by her violent death caused by those who are meant to protect and serve the community,” the statement read. “We hope this settlement sends a loud message to LAPD and all law enforcement agencies across the country that officers must account for their surroundings when firing their guns.”

    The family’s lawyers called the settlement the largest pretrial payout ever in an LAPD shooting case.

    “Mely’s death was entirely preventable if the officers had followed their training and accounted for their background while firing,” said attorney Neil Gehlawat. “Officers must look at the dangers posed to bystanders when using deadly force, and the officers here failed to do that.”

    Corado was fatally shot on July 21, 2018, as two police officers pursued Gene Evin Atkins, suspected of shooting his grandmother and his girlfriend and then taking the younger woman hostage. Atkins led police on a lengthy pursuit in his grandmother’s car, during which he shot at officers, ran red lights and collided with multiple vehicles, prosecutors alleged.

    The chase ended at the Trader Joe’s on Hyperion Avenue. Atkins stopped the car and ran toward the store, which was crowded with Saturday afternoon shoppers.

    Atkins shot at the officers, who returned fire as he entered the store. One of the officer’s bullets struck Corado, killing her. Atkins was wounded in the arm, but he held shoppers and employees hostage inside the store for three hours before surrendering. His trial is pending.

    The LAPD came under harsh criticism for shooting a bystander, which then-Chief Michel Moore described as “every officer’s worst nightmare.”

    In the French case, the $17.7 million payout is roughly the same amount awarded by a federal jury in 2021 after Officer Salvador Sanchez was found to have used excessive and unreasonable force. Sanchez, who was later fired, was off-duty when he and French got into a confrontation in a line to sample sausages.

    Sanchez’s attorney claimed during the federal trial that he was knocked to the ground during the encounter and believed that French was armed. Sanchez’s rounds killed French and wounded his mother and father.

    The Police Commission found that Sanchez violated department policy. Sanchez also faced criminal manslaughter and assault charges, but the prosecution ended in a mistrial earlier this year. A call to the French family’s attorney went unreturned on Friday.

    Simpson sued the city after sustaining numerous injuries when LAPD detective Alex Pozo ran a red light in Chino while driving a city-owned vehicle in August 2020. The driver of an SUV swerved to avoid colliding with Pozo and crashed into a traffic pole, which fell on top of Simpson, 70, as he walked on the sidewalk.

    The city council voted not to approve a settlement for an LAPD sergeant who sued after being repeatedly disciplined over controversial posts on his personal Facebook and Instagram accounts. The sergeant, Joel Sydanmaa, accused the LAPD of singling him out for punishment for expressing political viewpoints they didn’t like.

    “We rejected their suggestion, and we asked them to go to trial,” Councilmember Bob Blumenfield said.

    Sydanmaa’s attorney, Caleb Mason, said he was “disappointed” that city officials apparently backtracked on what he described as a signed settlement agreement.

    “My client waited three-and-a-half years for a trial date and then he agreed to vacate that trial date two weeks before his trial, based on the word of high level city attorney officials — he trusted them,” Mason said.

    Friday’s payouts add to the more than $171 million in taxpayer money spent since 2019 to resolve legal claims accusing the LAPD of wrongful death, excessive force, negligence, discrimination and more, according to records from the L.A. City Tttorney’s office.

    That figure could grow because the city is appealing several sizable payouts, including the $4 million that a jury awarded to then-Capt. Lillian Carranza, who sued over a nude photograph that was doctored to look like her and shared with coworkers.

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    Libor Jany, David Zahniser

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  • Asking Eric: Girlfriend not invited to family funeral

    Asking Eric: Girlfriend not invited to family funeral

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    Dear Eric: I’m involved with a man whose sister recently died. I rented a car, bought his kids clothes for the funeral and made sure everything was in order. The funeral was out of town. I wanted to be there for support, but he didn’t invite me. I took off of work and he left with his kids.

    When I told him how I felt about not being invited, he said he assumed I wouldn’t want to go, but didn’t consider me or ask me. This isn’t the first time he’s done this, though. Should I just take it for what it is, because clearly I don’t matter enough?

    — Left Behind

    Dear Left: Try not to take this instance personally. When we’re grieving, we’re not always thinking about every angle.

    If it’s a pattern of behavior with other things that aren’t emergencies or tragedies, try talking to him proactively to see if it changes things. For instance, if there’s something that you want to be invited to, let him know in advance. Or if you’re doing labor to help him, like buying the kids clothes, tell him. “I see the kids need outfits, so I thought I would take them shopping. Would that be helpful?” Sometimes we have to over-communicate so that we don’t feel misunderstood.

    Dear Eric: My husband suffers from frequent insomnia. When he has trouble sleeping, he spends a while (sometimes several hours) reading in bed. He uses a small flashlight, but it’s still bright enough to keep me awake. So does the sound of turning the pages in the book.

    He insists that I ought to be able to sleep through that, but I can’t. The sleep lost because of these middle-of-the-night reading sessions puts a big dent in my productivity at work. Our apartment has one bedroom, so I can’t ask him to go read (and sleep) in some other bedroom. Should I insist that he go to the living room to do his reading?

    — Sleepless Spouse

    Dear Sleepless: It’s pretty ironic that he’s telling you what you should be able to sleep through. Facts not in evidence!

    While the Sharper Image catalogs of the world may assure us that tiny reading lights are the solution for unobtrusive bedtime reading, everyone is different. A half-hour of reading is one thing, but having a whole study session while you toss and turn? I don’t think so.

    Kindly insist on the living room, at least until the point in the night where his medical condition relents a little and you can both get some shuteye.

    Dear Eric: I’ve been dating an amazing guy for the past three years. He is the man I have been looking for my entire life.

    But he does not seem to want to move forward with marriage. We are in our 50s and have our own homes and are financially stable.

    He was married for a very long time and it ended in divorce. Since then he had a couple of serious relationships where it sounded like he was strongly considering marriage, but for whatever reason it didn’t work out. Him not moving our relationship forward makes me feel like I’m not important enough to marry.

    I don’t know if I should give it more time as I think he is slow to make decisions about everything in life or put a timeframe on the table. I don’t know that I will ever be satisfied if I do not have a ring on my finger. Am I wasting my time?

    — Impatiently Waiting

    Dear Waiting: You’re waiting for him to pop the question, but have you asked each other preliminary questions about marriage and your shared future? You can, and should, have the proposal you want but the first step for every couple is talking about dreams, desires, baggage, and the like.

    You have agency here. Have you asked him whether he ever sees himself getting married again? Or what his vision for the two of you might be? Have you shared with him your vision? It’s important to do this so that you’re not carrying around the weight of unmet expectations.

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    R. Eric Thomas

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  • Colorado’s new housing law helping Evergreen woman spend more time with family

    Colorado’s new housing law helping Evergreen woman spend more time with family

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    DENVER — A Colorado family is taking advantage of the state’s new housing law to spend more time together.

    House Bill 24-1152 was signed into law in May and allows homeowners to build accessory dwelling units (ADUs), also known as mother-in-law suites, by requiring certain communities to allow them to help ease the housing crunch.

    Laurel Triscari and her daughter Ami Roeschlein love to spend time together. As Roeschlein’s mom got older, they talked about her moving closer to family.

    “So she lives up in Evergreen where it, you know, it gets snowy. She’s under 80, but getting closer to it, and so having to shovel her driveway or her front steps is just not feasible. We wanted a place for her to be able to age in place,” said Roeschlein.

    The two looked into ADUs for two years and found a company to help them. Triscari could be closer, and the family could have grandma in their backyard.

    The company, Anchored Tiny Homes, said that since the new law took effect, business has really picked up.

    “We are busy. There are three to 400 folks reaching out a week right now asking to see if they can get an ADU built in their backyard,” said Brent Dowling, the co-owner of Anchor Tiny Homes.

    Dowling said that not only are ADUs cost-effective, but you also have the power to craft a home of your own.

    As Triscari and her daughter wait for their ADU to be finished, they look forward to more time together.

    Colorado’s new housing law helping Evergreen woman spend more time with family

    Coloradans making a difference | Denver7 featured videos

    At Denver7, we’re committed to making a difference in our community. We’re standing up for what’s right by listening, lending a helping hand and following through on promises. See that work in action, in the featured videos in the playlist above.

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    Wanya Reese

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  • The Many Faces of Deception: Understanding the Different Types of Lying

    The Many Faces of Deception: Understanding the Different Types of Lying

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    Learn how to identify the many types of lying and deception, including overt forms like outright fabrications and gaslighting, to subtle forms like white lies and lying by omission.


    Lying is not always as clear-cut as telling a blatant falsehood. It can take many different forms, from subtle omissions to outright fabrications, each hurting our ability to understand reality, communicate effectively, and build honest relationships.

    Some people try to justify certain forms of lying by claiming they didn’t technically say anything wrong, but knowing they were engaging in deception by not mentioning a key fact or framing an event in a misleading way.

    This is why it’s important to recognize the many forms of deception and dishonesty. It allows us to better spot lying in our daily lives at home, work, or in the news, while also making us more honest communicators by avoiding these conveniently deceptive tactics.

    Here’s a comprehensive breakdown of the many types of lying so that you can better recognize them in the future. Which do you have a hard time spotting? Which do you sometimes engage in yourself?

    1. Falsehood

    The most straightforward type of lying is the falsehood, where someone knowingly presents information that is entirely untrue. Falsehoods are blatant lies meant to deceive the listener by fabricating facts, events, or circumstances. “2 + 2 = 5” is a lie, no matter who says it or what day of the week it is. This form of lying is often the easiest to identify, especially when you have clear evidence that disproves it. This is what typically comes to mind when we think of a “lie.”

    Example: Claiming you were at work all day when, in reality, you took the day off.

    2. Lying by Omission

    Lying by omission involves leaving out critical information that changes the nature of the fact. While the information provided may be true, the omission of key details results in a misleading impression. This type of lying is subtle and can be particularly insidious, as it allows the liar to maintain a facade of honesty, they may even claim they just “forgot” that one fact or didn’t think it was important to mention, knowing full well it changes the nature of their story.

    Example: Telling a partner, “I went out with some friends last night,” but leaving out that you also met up with an ex during the outing.

    3. Out-of-Context Lying

    Out-of-context lying happens when someone presents an isolated truthful statement or quote in a way that strips it of its original meaning or intention. By removing context, the speaker can still be “technically” correct while deceiving the listener. This type of lie is frequently used in media, politics, and interpersonal conflicts to distort the truth while avoiding outright falsehoods.

    Example: Quoting someone as saying, “I don’t care,” without mentioning that they were referring to a trivial matter rather than something important.

    4. Starting the Story in the Middle

    This type of lying involves telling a story or recounting an event but beginning at a point that omits important prior details. By starting in the middle, the liar can shift blame, change the narrative, or make themselves appear more favorable. This creates a skewed version of events that misleads the listener into forming a biased conclusion. This form of lying is particularly effective where the full story can’t be known until you get both sides’ perspectives.

    Example: Describing an argument with a friend but starting with the moment they shouted at you, without mentioning that you had insulted them first.

    5. Dishonest Framing

    Dishonest framing involves presenting a story or situation from a deliberately biased or one-sided perspective, often emphasizing certain details or using dramatic language. This tactic is used to guide the audience toward a particular interpretation, typically one that benefits the person doing the framing. In many cases, individuals cast themselves into roles like “victim,” “savior,” or “persecutor” (see the drama triangle framework) to manipulate how others see them.

    Example: After being criticized by a coworker for missing a deadline, you recount the incident to others by saying, “I’m being unfairly targeted at work for no reason,” without mentioning that you had repeatedly ignored reminders about the approaching deadline.

    6. White Lies

    White lies are minor, often well-intentioned, lies told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or to prevent minor inconveniences. These lies are typically considered harmless, like telling a friend, “I like your band,” even when their music isn’t to your taste. However, while white lies may seem innocuous, they can accumulate over time, leading to bigger issues such as a pattern of dishonesty or a gradual erosion of trust. To avoid white lies, try shifting the focus to something you genuinely appreciate about the person. For example, instead of saying, “I don’t like that outfit,” you might say, “I prefer this outfit of yours.”

    Example: Telling a friend you love their new outfit when you think it’s not flattering, just to spare their feelings.

    7. Silence

    Silence can be a form of lying when someone withholds information or refuses to speak up on important matters, especially when they know that their silence will lead others to a false conclusion. Like lying by omission, silence can be used to manipulate a situation without saying anything outright false.

    Example: Knowing that a coworker is being falsely accused of a mistake but choosing not to speak up to correct the record.

    8. Exaggeration

    Exaggeration involves inflating or overstating the truth to make it seem more significant or severe than it really is. Common forms of exaggerated thinking include overgeneralizing (“this always happens to me!”), catastrophizing (“this is the worst thing ever!”), and jumping-to-conclusions (“I’m always right!”). Exaggeration often serves as a way to evoke sympathy, justify actions, or amplify the importance of a situation to gain attention.

    Example: Saying you “had the worst day of your life” because you spilled mustard on your shirt, when in reality, it was a minor inconvenience.

    9. Minimization

    Minimization is the opposite of exaggeration; it involves downplaying the significance or impact of a fact, making it seem less important or harmful than it actually is. This tactic is often used to avoid responsibility, diffuse conflict, or lessen the perceived severity of an issue. By quickly glossing over key details or understating the consequences, the person minimizes the importance of the situation.

    Example: Describing a car accident that resulted in significant damage as “just a little fender bender” to avoid admitting the seriousness of the incident.

    10. Ambiguity

    Ambiguity involves the use of vague or unclear language to avoid giving a direct answer or fully addressing the truth. This technique often includes sidestepping the main issue, providing incomplete information, or being purposefully elusive. Ambiguity allows the person to create a sense of uncertainty or misinterpretation, which they can later exploit by claiming they weren’t lying but were simply misunderstood.

    Example: When asked if you completed a task, you respond with, “I’ve made some progress,” leaving the impression that you’re almost done when, in reality, you’ve barely started.

    11. Misleading Statistics

    People can lie with statistics too. Misleading statistics occur when data is manipulated or presented in a way that distorts the truth. This can involve cherry-picking data, using biased samples, or presenting figures without the necessary context to understand them accurately. The goal is to deceive the audience into drawing false conclusions based on the manipulated numbers.

    Example: Reporting that “90% of users love our product,” without mentioning that only 10 people were surveyed.

    12. Fabrication

    Fabrication involves creating entirely false information, events, or details that never happened. This is similar to falsehood but often involves more elaborate story-telling and imagination. Fabrication is common among individuals who seek to impress, manipulate, or deceive others for personal gain or attention, including pathological liars who get a thrill by making up bigger and bigger lies.

    Example: Inventing a fictional story about heroically stopping a robbery to impress someone on a first date.

    13. Gaslighting

    Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where the liar attempts to make the victim doubt their own perceptions, memory, or sanity. This is done by consistently denying reality (“You’re just imagining things”), distorting the truth (“It didn’t happen that way”), and making the victim question their own experiences (“You’re insane” or “You’re the real liar”). Gaslighting is often part of a broader pattern of abuse and manipulation, and it can involve complex webs of lies designed to control and disorient the victim.

    Example: Telling someone they’re “overreacting” or “remembering things wrong” when they confront you about an event that just happened.

    Conclusion

    As you can see, lying and dishonesty can take many different forms. By recognizing these various types of lying and the subtle ways in which the truth can be manipulated and distorted, we can better identify these tactics in our daily interactions — both as a speaker and a listener.


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    Steven Handel

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  • Tim Walz was a staunch LGBTQ+ ally, long before it was common

    Tim Walz was a staunch LGBTQ+ ally, long before it was common

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    In a video intended to help introduce vice presidential nominee Tim Walz to a national audience ahead of his Democratic National Convention speech Wednesday night, a handful of students from his years as a high school teacher sang his praises.

    One called him “jovial,” another “engaging,” another a “big part” of the local community.

    For Jacob Reitan, Walz was the teacher who had his back against bullies during one of the most difficult chapters of his teenage life, when he came out as gay just before his senior year of high school a quarter-century ago, in 1999.

    “When I decided to come out as gay, we started the Gay Straight Alliance,” said Reitan, now a 42-year-old lawyer. “Tim Walz was the faculty advisor.”

    The decision by Democrats — and the presidential campaign of Vice President Kamala Harris — to include Reitan and other references to Walz’s staunch support for LGBTQ+ rights was in some ways an obvious one. Queer voters number in the millions, and a politician having a decades-long record of support would be seen by many of them — and many other liberals — as a positive thing.

    Still, the decision was a defiant one, too — a doubling-down on the Democratic ticket’s queer allyship at a time when Republicans are pushing an anti-LGBTQ+ agenda, hammering Walz on his legislative record supporting queer rights, and suggesting he is too progressive for the average American voter.

    In one characteristic barb, former President Trump recently criticized Walz as being “very heavy into transgender.”

    In interviews with The Times, LGBTQ+ former students of Walz said his support embodies his simple commitment to fairness and kindness, and against bullying and injustice.

    When Walz took the DNC stage Wednesday night, he struck many similar notes.

    “That family down the road — they may not think like you do, they may not pray like you do, they may not love like you do, but they’re your neighbors, and you look out for them and they look out for you,” Walz said. “Everybody belongs.”

    Reitan said in an interview that Walz and his wife, Gwen — also a popular teacher at Mankato West High School in Mankato, Minn. — had been flagged to him as LGBTQ+ allies when he was a younger student. He had Gwen Walz as an English teacher and recalled her telling him and his classmates on the first day of instruction that her classroom was a “safe space” for gay students.

    Later, Reitan was being bullied at school and decided to form the Gay Straight Alliance, not just for him but for future LGBTQ+ students at the school. The principal recommended Walz as the faculty advisor, and Reitan said he immediately recognized the significance of having the backing of the school’s football coach. Gwen Walz’s support also was invaluable.

    “The concept of Tim being the advisor was a product of both their support, but also the optics of it,” Reitan said.

    That the Walzes were willing to step up as they did — especially at “a different time for gay people that was not easy” — showed “the character that they have as individuals,” Reitan said.

    “They were a gift to the students at West High School. They’ve been a gift to the state of Minnesota,” he said. “And I’m thrilled that the nation is getting the chance to know them both.”

    Since picking Walz as her running mate, Harris has seemed happy to highlight his queer-friendly past, and his advising of the Gay Straight Alliance.

    “At a time when acceptance was difficult to find for LGBTQ students, Tim knew the signal that it would send to have a football coach get involved,” Harris said at one campaign rally, to raucous applause. “And as students have said, he made the school a safe place for everybody.”

    In her own video Wednesday night, Gwen Walz talked about her husband teaching for 15 years, helping lead the school’s football team to a state championship, and teaching students “that we’re all in this together.”

    She said that he agreed to be the Gay Straight Alliance advisor “because he knew how impactful it would be to have a football coach involved,” and that he “inspired his students” and “changed lives.”

    After Walz was elected to Congress in 2006, he continued his LGBTQ+ allyship — supporting the right to same-sex marriage, which wasn’t affirmed nationally until a Supreme Court ruling in 2015, and calling for the repeal of the federal “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, which forced gay and lesbian service members to hide their sexuality or face removal from the U.S. military.

    Walz continued to support queer rights as governor. He signed an executive order protecting transgender people’s access to gender-affirming healthcare in Minnesota. He also signed two significant laws: One bans debunked conversion therapy practices aimed at changing or suppressing a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity; the other protects transgender people and their families from out-of-state subpoenas, arrest warrants and extradition requests related to their receiving gender-affirming care in Minnesota.

    At a California delegation breakfast at the DNC on Wednesday, Equality California Executive Director Tony Hoang praised Walz as “a person who has been there for LGBTQ youth since the ‘90s,” and said he and Harris deserve LGBTQ+ people’s votes.

    Seth Elliott Meyer, 38, who is queer, is another former student of Walz. By the time he got to Mankato West, his sister and brother had already had Walz as a teacher and coach, and he’d heard all about how great Walz was. But he wasn’t sold.

    “I’d heard his reputation as a hunter and a coach and a social studies teacher, and I thought, wow, that doesn’t sound like my kind of guy at all,” Meyer said in an interview, with a laugh. As “a combative, punk rock 14-year-old,” hunting and football just weren’t his things.

    It wasn’t until Meyer had Walz as his history teacher his junior year, in 2002 and 2003, that he realized what all the hype was about, he said — when Walz “won me over with his rampant niceness and fairness.”

    “He was one of those teachers who wanted to make everyone feel included and involved and valid,” Meyer said.

    Meyer tries to remember those lessons today, he said, including when he’s advising his own students at the Atlanta school where he now teaches — and serves as the Gay Straight Alliance advisor.

    Times staff writer Seema Mehta contributed to this report.

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    Kevin Rector

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  • Peabody mom creates new play, party space for young kids

    Peabody mom creates new play, party space for young kids

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    Amanda Stone and her daughter Savannah




    Young kids have a new place to play in Peabody.

    Savy Little Playhouse opened in the Mills 58 Building C this week as an indoor playground and event space for kids under 6 years old.

    There’s a 30-foot ball pit, castle slides, industrial playhouse and other fun features fit for young kids of all abilities. The large, open room is designed so parents have a safe and comfortable place to spend time with their kids, including babies and toddlers.

    It’s what founder and Peabody resident Amanda Stone wanted to have with her then 1-year-old daughter Savannah (hence the “Savy” name) before starting the business in October 2022.

    “She has some motor delays, so I have a hard time finding places for her to go where she can physically enjoy it,” Stone said.

    Her vision started as a mobile playground she’d bring to kids’ birthday parties, then grew into a play space in downtown Hamilton that remains open.

    Stone opened the Peabody location to mainly host larger events and birthday parties, she said.

    “I realized these parents are hiring me to be a mobile playground, and then they’re paying for a venue, and they’re paying for catering, and they’re paying for balloons,” Stone said. “Moms just need a one-stop shop, and that’s when the playhouse developed.”

    She provides decorations and activities for birthday parties hosted at both locations on weekends and often brings in characters and children entertainers for special events.

    The Peabody space is larger than the one in Hamilton, but both have open play hours from 8:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. on weekdays. Come September, Peabody will also have open play hours from 2-6 p.m.

    Stone hasn’t made this her full time gig yet. The 36-year-old Danvers native still works as a business analyst on top of growing her playhouse model.

    The response from parents so far has been “beautiful,” especially from those with kids who haven’t been able to thrive in regular play spaces, she said.

    “There’s so many places that are handicap accessible for adults, and kids are often overlooked,” Stone said. “It’s just become a great community space that’s bringing a lot of moms together.”

    For more information about Savy Little Playhouse, visit https://www.savylittleplayhouse.com/.

    Contact Caroline Enos at CEnos@northofboston.com

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    By Caroline Enos | Staff Writer

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  • LAPD releases video of officer fatally shooting 18-year-old from unmarked police car

    LAPD releases video of officer fatally shooting 18-year-old from unmarked police car

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    Newly released video from the Los Angeles Police Department on Monday shows how a confrontation last month between a plainclothes vice officer and an unarmed 18-year-old ended in a fatal shooting.

    The family of Ricardo “Ricky” Ramirez Jr. recently announced they were asking the state prosecutor to file criminal charges. They plan to sue the city for wrongful death.

    Around 10:25 p.m. on July 13, Ramirez was in a silver Cadillac with three other occupants, all wearing ski masks. Sgt. Michael Pounds began to follow them. Authorities believed they were “in a possible dispute with the driver of another vehicle,” according to a release from the department.

    The video shows the Cadillac blocking a Toyota Camry at 66th and Figueroa streets. All four of the Cadillac’s occupants get out, surrounding the Camry. Other cars behind the Camry begin to back up before it speeds away.

    “Follow that car because they were all masked up. Follow that car. Follow that car,” one officer says over radio traffic. There is a call for a marked police officer to pull the Cadillac over.

    Instead, Pounds — who was originally conducting a prostitution enforcement detail along Figueroa Street in South L.A. — followed the Cadillac 10 blocks without lights or sirens until it stopped, blocking both lanes of traffic on the 400 block of 66th Street near the intersection with Flower Street.

    Video shows Ramirez get out of the Cadillac and run toward the driver’s-side door of Pounds’ unmarked vehicle. Immediately, Pounds fires through the window, shooting Ramirez in the chest. Ramirez falls to the ground, crawls away and collapses in the street.

    Officers arrive and handcuff Ramirez before calling for an ambulance and starting CPR.

    Police said in a July 18 statement that two passengers exited the Cadillac and approached Pounds’ vehicle from either side, but only Ramirez is visible in the video.

    “It is a parent’s worst nightmare to hear their child has been killed, now seeing the video the horror worsens: Ricky was shot in cold blood with both of his hands outstretched with clearly no gun,” Ramirez’s father, Ricardo Ramirez Sr., said in a statement.

    “I saw my boy brought into this world and, horribly, I saw him taken out of this world by a trigger-happy cop,” Ramirez’s mother, Renee Villalobos, said in the same statement.

    The family’s attorney, Christopher Dolan, said there was no reason for Pounds to shoot, and the officer never announced himself as law enforcement. It was a “case of shoot and ask questions later,” Dolan said.

    “We will vigorously prosecute this case to bring Ricky and his family justice,” the attorney said.

    The incident is still under investigation, according to the LAPD.

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    Sandra McDonald

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  • Althea Alexander, who built a diverse pipeline of medical students at USC, dies

    Althea Alexander, who built a diverse pipeline of medical students at USC, dies

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    As an assistant dean of diversity and inclusion at USC, Dr. Althea Alexander spent time speaking in high school classrooms across the United States, in search of undeveloped talent among Black and brown students in hopes of guiding them toward the field of medicine.

    She mentored minority medical students and sought to improve the school’s efforts to recruit diverse students. Her work, spanning five decades, paid off tenfold: She influenced the career paths of hundreds who would go on to become medical school deans, chief executives and even California’s surgeon general.

    Alexander, 89, died on July 17 after suffering a brain hemorrhage, according to her daughter, Kim Alexander-Brettler. Her mother formed deep and enduring relationships driven by a passion for civil rights and sincerity in helping young people better themselves and their communities, Alexander-Brettler said.

    “It’s not anything she had to practice,” Alexander-Brettler said. “It came from her soul. It came very naturally for her to give.”

    Alexander arrived at USC in 1968, becoming the first female and Black faculty member. At the time, there was one Black and one Latino medical student enrolled. Alexander sought to change that. USC estimates that she influenced the lives of at least 800 minority students at the Keck School of Medicine by her retirement in 2019.

    In 1969, she became the inaugural dean of Minority Affairs, which would later become the Office of Diversity and Inclusion. In 1992, she told The Times that she believed students of color were never told that they had the intelligence, capability or sensitivity to become doctors, and she wanted to instill that in them as early as she could.

    She spoke at high schools and encouraged students to keep in touch. She promised the students and their families that if they put in the work, she would help them as best as she could to find them a place in a medical school.

    “We have to train young people to make a contribution to society,” she told The Times. “If someone would give us a grant to start in kindergarten, I would do that.”

    Among them was Dr. Diana E. Ramos, who was a high schooler headed to USC for undergrad when she met Althea and her husband, Fredric. At an annual check-up, Ramos met a nurse practitioner who introduced her to her boss, Fredric, after learning she wanted to be a doctor. He introduced her to his wife, an assistant dean at USC’s medical school, and from then on, Althea became a guiding force for Ramos, who was born in South Central and the first in her family to go to college. Ramos graduated from USC’s medical school in 1994.

    “Whenever I was wanting to give up or just needed a little pep talk, she was always there,” said Ramos, who became California’s surgeon general in 2022. When Ramos took on the role with lingering feelings of inadequacy, Alexander quelled those doubts and told her she was fit for the job. “Of course,” her mentor told her. “Why not you?”

    At USC, Alexander pushed admissions to consider non-traditional experiences in addition to grades and test scores, such as considering an applicant’s work and family history. She and her family hosted dozens of students, often for months at a time, in their home. Alexander helped others pay rent and bought cars for those who couldn’t afford them so they could attend school, Alexander-Brettler said.

    Alexander had a national and international influence as well, with many of the students at USC going on to study across the country. At a memorial service held Saturday, where former students shared stories of her impact on their lives, speakers shared how Alexander encouraged them to come to the U.S. from China to expand their medical education.

    She did not shy away about speaking bluntly about racism in the medical field. She previously told The Times about an instance when she went to the Los Angeles County-USC Medical Center to seek aid after breaking her arm. A white attending resident told her to “hold your arm like you usually hold your can of beer on Saturday night.”

    “What are you talking about?” she demanded. “Do you think I’m a welfare mother?”

    She told students that they would surely confront the same issues.

    “This is not a utopia,” Alexander would say. “You are what you are. … You cannot die on every hill here. If somebody makes a racist comment in class, you cannot spend all your energy on that. Be principled and deal with it. Say: ‘I don’t appreciate that.’ Then, move on.”

    She shared a passion for civil rights advocacy, joining protesters during the East L.A. protests in 1970, and had a United Farm Workers flag hanging in her office signed by Cesar Chavez.

    Alexander had known her husband, Fredric Eugene, since they were children because their parents were union organizers. But in 1959, a young civil rights leader named Martin Luther King Jr. reintroduced the two. Fredric and Althea married at the Unitarian Church in downtown L.A. Fredric died in 2009.

    Althea Alexander was born March 16, 1935, in Berkeley. In addition to her daughter, she is survived by her son, Sean Alexander, and granddaughters Danielle and Lauren Brettler.

    Alexander loved music and made a habit of attending live performances. Alexander-Brettler recalled one Prince concert at the Forum where she begged her mom to leave as it approached midnight because she had work the next day. But Alexander insisted that they stay through all four songs in Prince’s encore, dancing all the while. To close Saturday’s memorial service, USC’s marching band performed.

    “It was the cherry on the top,” Alexander-Brettler said. “We had a party at the end there.”

    Alexander’s legacy lives on: In 1997, one USC alumna established the Althea Alexander Endowed Scholarship Fund to support minority medical students. A group of students established the Althea and Fredric Alexander Student Support Fund to financially support medical students’ professional development where donations can be made in her memory.

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    Melissa Gomez, Liam Dillon

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  • A Dad’s Summer Guide to Staying Sane When The Kids are Home

    A Dad’s Summer Guide to Staying Sane When The Kids are Home

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    When summer break turns your home into a whirlwind of endless energy and constant chatter, finding sanity as a dad becomes an art form.

    My youngest daughter, Everly, shook me awake this morning at six. I figured she’d had a bad dream, but when I rolled over and said, “What is it baby?” She answered, “I have two interesting animal facts.” Splendid. 

    Usually during the summer, we keep Ev in daycare two days a week so that I can get stuff done around the house since I’m off. But since she’s headed into first grade, daycare wasn’t an option, and we missed the sign up for summer camp. My step daughter goes to camp; my oldest, Izzy, is with me half of the time and with her mom the other half. But Everly, she’s been my daily companion this summer. Guys, I’m exhausted. Nonetheless, after ten years of fatherhood and six weeks of daily summer hangouts with my littlest, here are a few lessons I’ve picked up for when I’m feeling a bit of kid overload. 

    Get Out of the House

    I’m a homebody. I would always rather be home, working on some kind of project, than going out and spending money (the home project will inevitably cost enough). Even as a kid, I was fine being at home most summer days; I mean, someone had to watch Jerry Springer. But Everly isn’t a sit-still kind of kid; she’s a mover and a shaker, and trying to force her to just hang out at home makes for a miserable time for both of us. 

    That doesn’t mean we go do something big every day; the zoo isn’t cheap. But I’ve come to see the value in getting out of the house, even for a quick trip. A milkshake date only really costs me about ten bucks, but it feels like a big deal to Ev. We can talk, laugh, catch up on how she’s feeling about going into first grade. And while she won’t remember the content of these conversations, she’ll undoubtedly remember that we had them. 

    illustration of two milkshakes on a yellow background

    Remember Your Kids Are Kids

    When I was little, my mom had a little book called Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff  by Dr. Richard Carlson. I remember reading the book and coming to a chapter called “See the Innocence.” The idea, as I recall, was to stop assuming the worst in people (especially kids) and try to see their intentions as good, or at the very least, innocent. As a kid I thought, he’s right: I don’t understand why people get frustrated with their kids. 

    As a dad, I get it now. Everly is a lot: She has boundless energy, little interest in doing anything alone, and she talks incessantly. She’s also six-years-old and doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body. Yesterday I put a subwoofer in my car. My wife was off work, so I finally had a few hours that I could tackle a project alone. 

    As I was heating up a few wires with the soldering iron, Everly came out to the garage and said, “Hey dad!” startling the hell out of me, and bringing me within a centimeter of burning myself. At that moment, I wanted to scream. I needed time alone; I was working, and she knew I didn’t want any interruptions. 

    When I turned around to unleash my fury, I saw her holding a gatorade with a post-it note stuck to it that said “My dad.” She knew I was hot, and she was bringing me a drink. Her intentions were innocent and good, and in that moment, she was more excited to see me and do something for me than to leave me alone (even if that’s what I’d wanted). I had to recalibrate all of that negative energy into gratitude, put on a smile, and thank her. 

    drawing of a gatorade bottle with a post it that says "my dad"drawing of a gatorade bottle with a post it that says "my dad"

    Your Kids Aren’t You

    The older you get, the more you appreciate the quiet. With three kids, my house stays pretty loud, and most of the time, I’m fine with it. After the girls go to bed, Katie and I will often sit on the front porch and read or just listen to the dull purr of the hummingbirds flying to our feeders. 

    With Everly, there is no quiet. If she’s awake, she’s talking or singing – to herself, to me, to the dog, to the cat, to the stink bug walking along the window sill, to her Barbies. She’s usually not talking about anything in particular; in fact, half the time she’s just narrating her life. I love how happy she is, but I don’t always want to hear a song about pouring a bowl of cereal. Annnnd theeen I spillllled some of my miiiiiillllk on the couuuunnnttterrr. 

    Last week Everly had been talking and singing for about forty minutes straight – no breaks. I couldn’t take it. I needed a few minutes of quiet, and I lost my patience. I didn’t yell, but I did that dad voice that’s quieter than a yell but louder than talking (Dads know what I’m talking about). It went something like this: 

    “Ev, you have to stop. Honey, daddy loves when you sing, but I just can’t take it anymore. I even went out to the porch to sit for a few, and you followed me out and kept singing. Seriously, you have to be ok with a little bit of silence sometimes. You can’t narrate your entire life and literally never stop making noise.” 

    She started to tear up. 

    “But daddy,” she said, “that’s how I’m made.” 

    In six words, Everly was able to articulate what I felt like I’d spent my entire childhood trying to say to my own dad. 

    I scooped her up, gave her a big hug and kiss, and I told her that I loved how she was made. I explained that we’re all made differently, and that I’m a person who likes quiet sometimes. We talked about it being ok for dad to need some quiet, and how I’ll do a better job of communicating that before I reach a boiling point. 

    Everly is my kid, but she’s not me. I can teach her that there are appropriate times for singing, for talking, for somersaults and cartwheels, and I can embrace who she is in the process. 

    The Time is Fleeting

    I know we all know this, and I don’t mean to sound overly sentimental. But it feels like fifteen minutes ago that I was pushing Everly in a stroller, changing her diapers, feeding her from a bottle. And now she’s six. Tomorrow, she’ll be eight, and next week, she’ll be going to college. I can’t make every day an adventure, but when I go to bed at night, I want to feel like I gave it my all as a dad. 

    To be clear, you still need time for yourself. It’s ok to go to the gym, a concert, put the subwoofer in your car, take a no-kid trip with your spouse. I’m not the dad who thinks if you’re not spending every moment with your kid, then you’re failing them. But when you are with your kid, put your phone away, snuggle them and look them in the eye when they’re talking. Do what you can to make these minutes valuable. 

    Kids have little concept of time (and no concept of how quickly it passes), which means it’s up to us to make the time count and find ways to freeze moments so they may be seared into ours and our kids’ memories. I made a Gmail account for Everly when she was born, and I send her emails with stories about milestones she’s reached as a kid or funny things she says or does. It’s easy, fast, and will one day show her how much I valued this time we’ve had together. 

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    Mike Henson

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  • How QAnon Destroys American Families

    How QAnon Destroys American Families

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    Leah Feiger: Mm-hmm.

    David Gilbert: The calls to arms, you know? They’re being very explicit about what is going to happen should Trump lose in November. And I think more attention needs to be paid to it, because it’s constant, it’s every day, and it could spell major trouble. And maybe not in one single coordinated effort like we saw on January 6th, but in lots of different locations around the country on maybe a smaller scale, but no less frightening.

    Leah Feiger: David and Jess, thanks so much for coming on. Jesselyn Cook is a journalist and author of The Quiet Damage: Qanon and the Destruction of the American Family, which is out now. We’ll be right back with Conspiracy of the Week. Welcome back to Conspiracy of the Week, where you guys bring me your favorite conspiracies that you’ve come across recently, and I pick my favorite. The wilder, the better. Jess, as our guest, please go first.

    Jesselyn Cook: So you know about flat earthers, but have you heard of hollow earthers?

    Leah Feiger: Wait. Already, what? No.

    Jesselyn Cook: Yeah. Tragically in my book, there is a seven-year-old, a second-grader who gets really deeply into Qanon, and his journey, a lot of it was through TikTok. And so I learned a lot about a lot of conspiracy theories on TikTok through his story.

    Leah Feiger: Mm-hmm.

    Jesselyn Cook: The Hollow Earth Theory, this idea of an inner earth civilization, it’s been around for a long time, kind of through various ancient myths and legends, but it has made a resurgence on TikTok. A lot of young people you will see, if you look this up on TikTok, are talking-

    Leah Feiger: I’m going to in like, truly, 10 minutes. Yeah.

    Jesselyn Cook: So the idea is that deep below the Earth’s surface, there is a secret society, a very advanced society that lives down there somehow surviving without sunlight, without oxygen, without all the things we need to live. Some versions of the conspiracy theory are that they are aliens, and others are just there’s this society that’s going to emerge one day and kill us all. So not quite a fun conspiracy theory, but …

    Leah Feiger: Oh, they never are. Sometimes. That’s a weird one. That’s like a real Hunger Games meets Stuart Little/Ratatouille vibes in a more globalist centric way. What do people think that the hollow earthers are doing? Are they controlling us or are they just existing?

    Jesselyn Cook: They’re just existing. Some people who are not happy on regular Earth have gone down there apparently…

    Leah Feiger: Sure.

    Jesselyn Cook: …To just make a new life for themselves. And it’s funny, but then what’s less funny is when you click on the comments on these videos and you’re expecting people to be like, “This is dumb,” but there are a lot of kids in there saying, “NASA stands for Never A Straight Answer,” and just digging their heels in and citing Bible verses that supposedly prove the existence of this deeper earth. Study after study is showing that even though we assume digital natives, young people are able to parse real from fake online, that is not the case. Most of the time, these studies are showing that it’s really a grim outlook. And so it’s an interesting rabbit hole to go down. Check it out if you want on TikTok. But it’s pretty wild.

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    Leah Feiger

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  • Study details ‘transformative’ results from L.A. pilot that guaranteed families $1,000 a month

    Study details ‘transformative’ results from L.A. pilot that guaranteed families $1,000 a month

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    Some of L.A.’s poorest families received cash assistance of $1,000 a month as part of a 12-month pilot project launched nearly three years ago. There were no strings attached and they could use the money however they saw fit.

    Now, a new study finds that the city-funded program was overwhelmingly beneficial.

    Participants in the program experienced a host of financial benefits, according to an analysis co-authored by University of Pennsylvania and UCLA researchers. Beyond that, the study found, the initiative gave people the time and space to make deeper changes in their lives. That included landing better jobs, leaving unsafe living conditions and escaping abusive relationships.

    “If you are trapped in financial scarcity, you are also trapped in time scarcity,” Dr. Amy Castro, co-founder of the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for Guaranteed Income Research, told The Times. “There’s no time for yourself; there’s no time for your kids, your neighbors or anybody else.”

    The Basic Income Guaranteed: Los Angeles Economic Assistance Pilot, or BIG:LEAP, disbursed $38.4 million in city funds to 3,200 residents who were pregnant or had at least one child, lived at or below the federal poverty level and experienced hardship related to COVID-19. Participants were randomly selected from about 50,000 applicants and received the payments for 12 months starting in 2022.

    Castro and her colleagues partnered with researchers at UCLA’s Fielding School of Public Health to compare the experiences of participants in L.A.’s randomized control trial — the country’s first large-scale guaranteed-income pilot using public funds — with those of nearly 5,000 people who didn’t receive the unconditional cash.

    Researchers found that participants reported a meaningful increase in savings and were more likely to be able to cover a $400 emergency during and after the program. Guaranteed-income recipients also were more likely to secure full-time or part-time employment, or to be looking for work, rather than being unemployed and not looking for work, the study found.

    “Instead of taking the very first job that was available, that might not have been a lasting, good fit for the family, [the participants were] saying, ‘Hold on a minute, I have a moment to sit and think and breathe, and think about where I want my family to be,’ ” said Dr. Stacia West, also a co-founder of the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for Guaranteed Income Research.

    In a city with sky-high rents, participants reported that the guaranteed income functioned as “a preventative measure against homelessness,” according to the report, helping them offset rental costs and serving as a buffer while they waited for other housing support.

    It also prevented or reduced the incidence of intimate partner violence, the analysis found, by making it possible for people and their children to leave and find other housing. Intimate partner violence is an intractable social challenge, Castro said, so to see improvements with just 12 months of funding is a “pretty extraordinary change.”

    People who had struggled to maintain their health because of inflexible or erratic work schedules and lack of child care reported that the guaranteed income provided the safety net they needed to maintain healthier behaviors, the report said. They reported sleeping better, exercising more, resuming necessary medications and seeking mental health therapy for themselves and their children.

    Compared with those who didn’t receive cash, guaranteed income recipients were more likely to enroll their kids in sports and clubs during and after the pilot.

    Los Angeles resident Ashley Davis appeared at a news conference Tuesday about the study findings and said that her health improved because she could afford to buy fruits, vegetables and smoothies. Before, she was pre-diabetic and “my cholesterol was going through the roof,” Davis said.

    “I was neglecting my own needs,” said Davis, who described herself as a single mother of a special-needs child. She switched careers and is now studying to be a nurse, she said.

    Abigail Marquez, general manager of the Community Investment for Families Department, which helped oversee BIG:LEAP, said she’s spent 20 years working on various anti-poverty programs.

    “I can say confidently that this is by far the most transformative program,” Marquez said.

    BIG:LEAP was one of the largest of more than 150 guaranteed-income pilot programs launched nationwide in recent years. The program was funded through the city budget and included $11 million that city leaders moved from the Police Department budget in response to nationwide protests after the murder of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer in 2020.

    Despite the positive research findings, programs like BIG:LEAP have raised concerns among some taxpayer groups.

    “It’s simply wrong for the city government to take tax dollars earned and paid by people who are trying to pay their own bills and transfer that money to other people chosen by the government to receive it,” the Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Assn. said in a statement. “Guaranteed-income programs are appropriately funded voluntarily by charitable organizations and foundations, not forcibly through the tax code.”

    Councilmember Curren Price, whose South Los Angeles district includes some of the city’s most impoverished neighborhoods, introduced a motion Tuesday to continue a version of the pilot with a focus on people in abusive relationships and young adults in need of mental health and emotional support.

    Price said he would contribute $1 million toward the next phase from his council funds. Councilmember Hugo Soto-Martinez also pledged $1 million.

    Beyond that, it’s not clear where the next round of funding would come from. Price expressed hope the city would continue to support the effort through the general budget.

    “I don’t know how realistic it is that it’s going to be $40 million again,” Price said. “But I think it’s realistic that we could receive something.”

    This article is part of The Times’ equity reporting initiative, funded by the James Irvine Foundation, exploring the challenges facing low-income workers and the efforts being made to address California’s economic divide.

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    Rebecca Plevin, Dakota Smith

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  • Social Support Database (PDF)

    Social Support Database (PDF)

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    This worksheet will show you how to create a “Social Support Database” to serve as a positive reminder of all the people in your life who have your back, including family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, therapists, and support groups.


    This content is for Monthly, Yearly, and Lifetime members only.
    Join Here


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    Steven Handel

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