As adults, many of the personal core values we live by are often a direct result of those instilled upon us by our parents and what they believed to be important.
The values our parents taught us as children are called family core values, and whether we realized it or not at the time, they were playing a part in influencing the person we’d grow up to be.
Typically starting in the teenage years, kids start to question their parents. In fact, they may choose to disagree with or ignore some of the family core values they are trying to impart upon them.
Younger children, however, are not often capable of making that distinction or exercising free will… so what their parents teach them is often considered law.
House rules, if you will.
Differences aside, values are the glue that holds a family and society together… and often serve as a moral compass when it comes to decision making, emotional ties and our behavior.
Now that you are the parent, you have the massive responsibility of establishing family core values for your kids. This means that you are tasked with not only leading by example, but teaching them how to think for themselves and behave appropriately in all kinds of social settings.
So how do you go about establishing and defining these values?
In this article, I will outline a 5 step process to get the ball rolling. I’m convinced you won’t find it terribly complicated, but it will be helpful nonetheless.
Step #1: Sit Down With Your Partner And A Notebook
When you were contemplating marriage, your partner’s core values obviously played a huge part in the decision.
After all, if you didn’t share similar beliefs, passions or goals… it’s unlikely you would have gotten as far as you did in the relationship.
On our first date, my husband and I discussed many of these things… and while that may seem “heavy” or unusual, we were already in our thirties and both knew we were ready to find someone to settle down and have children with.
We weren’t there to play games… dating was for mating.
And once our first child came along, another conversation needed to happen regarding our family core values.
So, if you haven’t done so already, you need to grab a notebook and sit down with your partner to discuss the kind of children you want to raise.
You also need to take a good look at yourselves and see what it is you could possibly do better… or something you may want to change about your own lives.
Your children will emulate your actions.
For instance, if you work long hours and miss out on a lot of things, you might want to find a way to carve out more family time.
Family Core Value Goal: Togetherness
As another example, if you have a tendency to spend money on extravagant things… perhaps you want to incorporate some volunteering or charitable donations into your family core values. (Check out this list of great songs about family love.)
Family Core Value Goal: Selflessness
You and your spouse promised to be there in good times and bad… for better or worse. You are best friends, which means you should be able to be honest with one another when it comes to making changes for the better.
Step #2: Ask Each Family Member to Identify Their Strengths and Weaknesses
At the dinner table one night, propose a small challenge to your kids. You can even call it a family homework assignment.
Give them a few days, or even a week, to come up with a list of their personal strengths and weaknesses. Let them know it will be discussed later.
If you have younger children (under age 6 or so), you may need to help them out with this. It can be done by simply asking them some questions. Things like:
What is your favorite game or sport to play?
What is your favorite subject in school?
How many friends do you have?
What do you like most about yourself?
What makes you angry?
Are you scared of anything?
Questions like these may seem vague, but you can learn a lot by their answers. For instance, if your child is scared of the dark, maybe a family core value could incorporate Courage?
If the thing they like most about themselves is the way they sing, perhaps your family core value list could include Creativity?
Asking your child a few simple questions is a great way to get the ball rolling when trying to put together a list of values.
Step #3: Call A Family Meeting, Vote On What’s Most Important
Now that you’ve made your wish list of family core values with your partner, and your kids made their lists of personal pros and cons, it’s time to call a family meeting.
If you don’t already do this on a regular basis, it’s possibly something you could work into the core values chart.
Family Core Value Goal: Open and Honest Communication
Family meetings can be as casual or formal as you’d like. Some families I know prefer to have a speaking “object” that gets passed around so that each person gets a turn to say what’s on their mind and share their feelings. The person holding the item can’t be interrupted until they open the floor for questions and comments.
Other families prefer to work family meetings into a game or movie night. Where they talk a bit about what’s going on before the fun starts. The fun is a good way to put anything heavy off to the side and not let it ruin the evening.
You always want to end your day on a positive note.
During the meeting, let everyone share their feelings and keep a running list of the family core values that could arise from what was said.
Using the ones I’ve mentioned above, the list would include:
Togetherness
Selflessness
Courage
Creativity
Honesty
Open Communication
Once your list is compiled, have everyone vote for the ones they want to incorporate.
Keep in mind, there is no limit to how many values you select… but you don’t want it to seem overwhelming either.
You want and need to be able to adhere to your family core values, so it is okay to be selective when it comes to what is most important to you moving forward.
Sometimes less is more.
Step #4: Create And Sign a Family Core Values Creed to Display
Now that you’ve decided on your family core values, the next step is to get on the computer and create a creed.
You can use graphics, fancy fonts… whatever floats your boat.
The creed can read something like this:
“We, the members of the Jones Family, hereby solemnly swear to do our best to live by the family core values established here on this 19th day of June, 2021.
These include:
Humility
Respect
Commitment
Stability
Persistence
Appreciation
Fitness
We promise to help each other grow and support one another in all life’s endeavors.”
Then have everyone sign the creed.
Even if your kids are too young to write their own names, you can get creative and use ink to make a fingerprint instead.
Once finished, find a nice frame or have a canvas print made, and prominently display the creed in your house as a constant reminder of your commitment to your family core values.
Step #5: Come Up With An Actionable Plan to Execute Your Family Core Values
Now that you’ve established your family core values, it’s time to come up with a plan of action to make things happen.
Believe it or not, this is the tricky part.
Why?
Because it is in our nature to be gung-ho about something new… and then peter out as time goes by and the allure wears off.
Think about it.
It is the same reason why so many people have New Year’s resolutions they ultimately abandon.
Sure, the gyms are packed in January… maybe even February or March. But come Springtime, when the weather gets nicer and the biergartens open, those eager beavers start to veer off course.
After you have established your family core values, create a plan of action to make things happen.
And before long, they are in bathing suit panic mode and regretting their choices over the last few months.
Being able to stick with your family core values should be treated no differently.
It starts with a plan of action… a course you can follow for the long haul.
And that begins with acknowledging your support system.
Your family is your greatest asset when it comes to keeping your family core values intact. If one person sees someone start to stray, remind them of the creed.
Help them get back on track.
Next, remind each other of the big picture… the reason the values were adopted in the first place.
Not only do you want to be the best version of yourself today, but you want to succeed in the world tomorrow… and instill these values on others.
Finally, check in with one another regularly to make sure you’re staying on track. If anybody is suffering with certain values, talk with them or call a family meeting.
It’s in your best interest to stay involved when it comes to reaching and maintaining the family’s goals.
Final Thoughts on How to Find and Define Your Family Core Values
As promised at the beginning of this article, I have outlined 5 seemingly uncomplicated steps to help you establish your family core values.
It isn’t rocket science.
It’s simply taking the time to figure out what is most important to you… and deciding what kind of life you want for your children in the future.
If asked, most parents would say they want their children to grow up to be happy and healthy. Some will say they wish them great success and financial stability.
Whatever personal dreams you have for your kids, know this: it starts at home.
If you lay down a solid foundation of family core values for your children early on, you are giving them all of the tools they need to achieve the future they desire.
Nicole Krause has been writing both personally and professionally for over 20 years. She holds a dual B.A. in English and Film Studies. Her work has appeared in some of the country’s top publications, major news outlets, online publications, and blogs. As a happily married (and extremely busy) mother of four… her articles primarily focus on parenting, marriage, family, finance, organization, and product reviews.
There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.
Are there toxic people in your life?
Perhaps you’ve experienced having that one fake friend who, when things are going well with your life, makes you feel like you’re still not good enough by pointing out your flaws instead of affirming your success (for instance, someone who has a perpetual “crabs in a bucket mentality”).
Or you might have a partner or family member who makes you feel guilty about how great your life is while they struggle with their own because they claim to be “victims” of a world that doesn’t give them any breaks.
Toxic people are harmful to your health.
Just how harmful are they?
Well, the results of a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association revealed that being in a relationship with a negative person increases your risk of having heart disease, diabetes, and metabolism issues.
Some people probably become toxic as a result of their own experiences in life. For example, they may have been raised in a dysfunctional household where they were not taught to handle their emotions healthily. But regardless of the source of their negative behavior, its effects are felt in the present, and you’re most likely a target.
Although completely cutting off all communication with them is the simplest solution to avoid the adverse effects of toxic people’s behavior, it is not always the most practical.
In this article, we will show you practical ways to deal with a toxic person in a relationship, in your family, and in the workplace.
First, let’s check out the signs of a toxic person.
1. You or others are blamed for their negative feelings and circumstances.
Toxic people tend to project their feelings of inadequacy or insecurity toward the people closest to them rather than be accountable for these emotions. For example, someone in a bad mood but won’t own their feelings or take responsibility for them may turn to you and say, “You’re sure in a bad mood today,” which will probably leave you confused.
You’ll often find yourself on the defense without really understanding why. You will get accusations or questions that don’t make sense to you or seemingly come out of nowhere.
2. You are wrong and they are right all the time.
When someone in your life does not admit mistakes and insists that you are wrong all the time, you’re likely dealing with a toxic person.
They will go to great extremes to be correct, including changing facts or challenging your memories. Toxic people do not readily admit when they have made a mistake, miscalculated something, or misspoken.
It does not matter if you’ve requested that they stop behaving a certain way—a toxic person will continue to act in a way that violates your wishes. Toxic people will also expect you to come through for them regardless of the time of day and your circumstance. Building a positive, supportive relationship with people who disregard your boundaries and don’t even recognize when they’re walking all over you is almost impossible.
Your personal boundaries are the barriers that you set to separate yourself from the world around you. Your boundaries help define you and ensure that you are protected from people who are hurtful, disrespectful, and invasive. People with healthy boundaries know their limits and can express themselves. However, people with unhealthy boundaries pull on you in aggressive ways and don’t know when to stop.
4. They are habitually dishonest.
Toxic people are known for their constant lies, even about the smallest things. They could exaggerate the facts of a story or truly make something up, a common manipulative tactic used by gaslighters.
They might do it because they have very low self-esteem, and they are trying to give it a boost, or perhaps it’s their way of getting what they want. If a toxic person is telling you an elaborate story, you can typically assume that it is only a half-truth.
5. They don’t apologize.
Even if they are wrong, toxic people will usually not apologize. In instances when toxic people do apologize, it’s usually a calculated move to manipulate you to give them what they want. They always feel like they have to be correct, no matter what, and will change the information to be right or blame other people.
For more tips on dealing with a specific type of toxic person, check out this post on handling ungrateful people.
6. They revel in being victims.
Their victim status is a manipulative strategy to gain sympathy and attention. Toxic people can always find someone else to blame for their problems. Maybe they missed a deadline because no one reminded them about it, or they are late for work because their spouse didn’t set an alarm.
Bad things happen to everyone at some point. However, toxic people are happy to blame everyone else for their problems, including the issues they should take ownership of. But chances are, whatever happens to a toxic person will be someone else’s fault.
7. They are habitually sarcastic.
A little bit of sarcasm here and there can be funny. However, too much sarcasm can hurt people’s feelings and belittle them. Hence, it’s a favorite weapon of toxic people. Sarcasm is rooted in anger, distrust, and weakness.
Toxic people are so used to communicating with sarcasm that they can’t see how much damage they’re doing. When called out on it, toxic people often respond to the accusation of being hurtful with even more anger. Excessive sarcasm is never a healthy way to communicate with people.
8. They refuse to listen to you.
Toxic people act bored or change the conversation topic when you are talking. However, they expect you to listen to them when they talk. Your talking takes away from any attention that could be on them and puts the focus on you.
Toxic people disregard your boundaries even after you’ve requested that they stop behaving a certain way.
Rather than listening to what you have to say to understand you, a toxic person will only think of what they want to say next. They will seem uninterested in what you say and turn the conversation back to themselves instead of trying to understand where you are coming from.
9. They feign concern for your welfare.
Pretending they are concerned about you is a ploy that toxic individuals often use to make you feel like they care about you, especially when you are beginning to sense that something is off.
This false sense of concern can be mistaken for genuine remorse. Still, it is just a calculated attempt to catch you at a weak moment or appeal to your sentimentality. Toxic people will suck you back into the relationship by showing you desirable behaviors as soon as they think you are about to wiggle your way free from their grip.
You will notice that toxic people habitually put others down. If you are with someone constantly speaking poorly about others when those people are not around, chances are that they are doing the same to you.
Toxic people like to harp on the weaknesses that they see in others to boost their own self-esteem. They verbally judge people for superficial things or harp on someone’s honest mistake and rarely point out the good in people.
11. They make you feel defensive about your decisions.
Everything you say or do is met with argument, and you wonder if this person is questioning your intelligence. The criticisms and sarcasm directed at you can eventually take their toll and keep you on guard.
Toxic people act bored or change the conversation topic when you are talking but expect you to listen to them when they’re talking.
You stop feeling like you can be yourself around this person in anticipation of their criticism, and eventually, you find yourself filtering what you say when conversing with a negative person.
12. They are inconsistent in their behavior.
Nothing is stable when you’re with a toxic person. Opinions, preferences, and plans could go one way today and another tomorrow. Often, there isn’t an obvious explanation for the change in attitude—you can tell something isn’t right.
They might be cold or cranky, and when asked if something’s wrong, they say “nothing,”—but they’ll add in a sigh or a facial expression to let you know that something is going on. You then probably look for ways to make them happy, which is why toxic people do this.
Toxic people know that decent people will go out of their way to keep the people around them happy. They realize that you are uncomfortable wondering what they’re thinking. However, it would be best if you didn’t have to constantly guess which version of the person you will be interacting with each day.
13. They have no interest in what’s important to you.
Instead, they will find out why your good news isn’t so great. For example, if you are about to go on a trip to the beach, they might say, “The heat is going to be miserable.” Or, if you just got a promotion at work, they might say, “That’s a huge amount of work for such little compensation.”
Talking about the good things happening in your life takes away the spotlight from them, so toxic friends or family members often use fault-finding to make you feel inferior. If you are excited that something unique just happened to you, you are usually better off keeping it to yourself around toxic people.
14. They boast about their achievements.
The need to brag has its roots in deep-seated insecurity. People who feel inferior spend their time overcompensating to make themselves appear superior to others. These uncertain people can only be happy by making others noticeably unhappy. Toxic people often brag to compensate for the shortcomings they desperately hope you will never discover.
A toxic person gossips about you and talk behind your back. For them, everyone else is awful or lacking in some way.
They will even take credit for someone else’s accomplishments because they need validation to feel like they are better than others. These people who have no sense of self-worth still have an intrinsic need to feel like valuable members of society, and this need can only be met if they project their perceived greatness.
15. They take, take, and take.
As long as you’re able or willing, toxic people will take from you—your time, possessions, attention—without consideration or any thought of returning or giving back what they’ve taken. This is a form of manipulation. When you are with this person, you likely feel like the only one contributing to the relationship. Toxic people send a message that you owe something to them—and chances are, you believe it.
They are even able to take from you or hurt you in some way and then insist they did it all for you. This is especially common in relationships with some differentiation in power, such as in a working relationship.
For example, a supervisor may say, “I’ve left this three months’ worth of filing for you. I figured that you would appreciate the experience of learning how to use the filing cabinets,” or, “I’m hosting a dinner party—why don’t you bring the food? It’ll give you the opportunity to show off your cooking skills.”
Below is an infographic depicting some types of toxic or negative people and quick tips on how to free yourself from their influence.
Ways to Deal with Toxic Family Members
You probably know several negative people. However, unlike with friends or coworkers, you cannot altogether avoid contact with toxic members of your family. Fortunately, the following suggestions can help you deal with these people.
Establish boundaries.
A healthy boundary system in a family incorporates a healthy mix of interaction and autonomy for each family member. For example, parents shouldn’t talk to their children about conflict with each other, but they should speak to the children about how much they love them. And children should have age-appropriate autonomy, but not so much so that they feel neglected.
Ensure family members know what you can or cannot do for them. For example, communicate to your sister that you are uncomfortable picking her up every time she’s drunk over the limit and can’t drive herself.
Also, let them know what things you can and cannot accept from them, whether it’s your mother’s spicy beef casserole or unsolicited advice on how to raise your children. Determining where a boundary line should be can be challenging, especially if it hasn’t been clearly and mutually drawn. By openly communicating about boundaries with your family, you can build healthier relationships that are safe, and respectful relationships.
Assert, but don’t condescend.
Toxic people will often test your boundaries, and the same goes for family members. Speak up if a family member is going over the limits that you’ve set. Be firm with your boundaries without making anyone feel bad. Tell them what you can do for them, but remind them that you must also care for your needs.
For example, if your sister continues to disregard your request not to call her during all night hours to give her a ride, find a time to assert your wishes without hurting her feelings. Say something like, “I need to sleep—can we find you a different way to get you home safely?” rather than “Why are you so needy?” They will attack back if you condescend to a negative person or make them feel attacked.
Avoid discussing private matters with them.
Although they are family, these negative individuals can use the private information you tell them as ammunition for an attack in the future.
Negative people are known for being dishonest, and while they can make up an entire story that could hurt you, they could also take a small detail of something you say and exaggerate it into something that it’s not. If you’re having problems in your personal life, don’t drag them in to feed off the drama.
Instead, give them general answers if they ask about what is going on in your life. Keep everything pretty neutral, and don’t go into detail about problems you are having with your spouse or behavioral issues with your children.
How to Deal With a Toxic Relationship
Here are some tips on how to deal with a difficult partner.
Acknowledge that you cannot change your toxic partner.
Sometimes, people in toxic relationships stay long because they hope they can help their partners change. It would be best if you let go of the idea that toxic people will change because of your assistance or insistence. It is essential to understand that you cannot change anyone, especially those who are toxic. The only thing that you can change is their impact on your life.
If you have to co-exist with someone toxic, you must realize that you only have the power to change your thoughts and actions. One thing that makes toxic people the way they are is that you can’t reason with them. Their motives will never change from being selfish to being selfless.
Maintain your boundaries.
Like dealing with a toxic family member, you must set boundaries and assert them in relationships. Stand firm to these limits and let your partner know what is acceptable. Toxic people will make you work hard to please them, and before you know it, your boundary walls will have been demolished.
Be aware of what you can tolerate and prepared to defend your boundary walls. You never need to explain your boundaries to others—you can say “no.” After you clear your boundaries, there is no need to discuss the topic further.
Seek the lessons you must learn in the relationship.
Often, people are brought to situations to teach them specific lessons on personal growth. Through meditation, discover what the relationship is teaching you about yourself. Frequently, being in a toxic relationship will teach you about your limits. While every relationship has a little drama, a toxic relationship will make you aware of how much adversity you’re willing to face.
You will also learn to listen to the people who love you. Your friends aren’t telling you that your partner isn’t good for you because they’re jealous of your relationship, they’re telling you because they can see something that you can’t through your rose-colored glasses. They’re looking out for you. When leaving a toxic relationship, you will recognize that those who love you have had your best interest at heart.
You also learn not to compromise or sell yourself short. No longer will you be willing to give so much to a relationship and get little in return? You will think about your well-being and know the qualities to look out for in your next partner, as well as what to avoid.
Learn to let go.
Sometimes, the only solution to regain your health and well-being is to extricate yourself from the toxic relationship. Being alone might be a better alternative to constantly being belittled. Reclaim your sense of worth. Believe that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect and are worthy of love.
Focus on yourself and the things that you want. Take your desires off hold, because you have likely been convinced you can’t do the things you love anymore. Be true to yourself and start loving yourself in ways no one else can. Recognize the importance of your peace of mind and that no one disturbs it should be in your life.
Here are some tips on how to deal with toxic people in the workplace.
Keep your distance.
Make yourself a difficult target for your toxic co-worker’s negative influence by putting as much distance between you as is practical within your work environment. This means doing what you can to avoid working directly with them and having your office space as far away as possible.
If you work near a toxic person, you will likely be the first person they come to when they need some attention. Not only is this distracting from your work, but the negativity will also start to bring you down. Avoid working near toxic people, and indeed, avoid working directly with them on projects as much as possible.
Counter the negative with the positive.
Choose to be with positive people in the workplace. Consciously choose your words to reflect only the bright side of things. Should the opportunity arise, always say something positive when others talk negatively about another co-worker, the boss, or the company you’re working for. (Remember, small minds discuss people.)
Just like negativity, positivity can also be contagious. While this might not influence the behavior of the toxic co-worker, it can impact those around you who are also being brought down by the toxic person’s negativity. Spread joy as much as you can to change the atmosphere in the office.
Recharge from the negative influence with some self-care activities.
When you’ve been surrounded the whole day at work by the negative energy of toxic co-workers, you can regain your balance with self-care activities.
Practicing self-care means choosing activities that balance the impact of emotional stress, such as exercising, eating healthy meals, getting a whole night’s sleep, practicing meditation or relaxation techniques, being creative, and learning how to self-soothe your emotional distress. Keeping your body physically and mentally healthy will reduce the toll that toxic people can take on your life.
The tips we just covered are a few ways to deal with a toxic person in any part of your life.
For them to be effective, you must be mindful of the moments you need to apply them. Try them for the next few weeks and see how they improve your health and well-being.
Remember that no matter how much you love them, toxic people can only change if they want to. You can only offer them kindness and support. In the process, you must remember not to lose yourself to their demands or negative influence. Stand your ground.
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It’s been just over a year since most of the world shut down and terms such as, “social distancing” and “mask up” became a part of our everyday lives.
And as hard as it’s been on us adults… it’s been much harder on our kids.
Trust me.
Kids are social creatures.
They need other children to interact with. They need to keep busy. To play. They need stimulation and to be entertained.
Many children have become virtual learners… which means loads of screen time.
Others are attending school in masks and keeping their distance, having to fight their instincts to high five or hug a friend.
If you think about it, there are some positives to take away from both scenarios… such as discipline, awareness and technological savvy.
Yet, the children are still left needing something more.
They need to live like kids.
Kids who play, explore, laugh and learn.
The good news is, this is still possible!
In this article, I’m going to outline 19 virtual activities for kids.
They can be done alone, with siblings, friends or family. Whatever works for you.
The goal is to fill your children with memories they can look back on that aren’t dictated by these unprecedented times… but rather driven by pure joy and creativity!
1. Enroll in an Online Art Class
No matter how old a child is, art is a wonderful outlet for letting creativity flow and expressing emotions.
Art can be extremely simplistic… from finger painting, to sculpting play doh, to coloring on a sheet of paper.
It can also be more skilled… such as oil painting or using pastels and working with clay.
Many local museums, art studios and schools offer art classes online.
Some are free, some aren’t.
You can usually sign up per class, or for a series… and supplies are often included with the cost, if one applies.
There are also schools that offer outdoor or socially-distanced private parties in-studio, which can be a great alternative for getting a few friends together.
If you prefer to take a more professional route, websites such as Udemy, offer paid courses according to age and skill level. All are done completely online.
Want to learn an important skill, but can’t find the time to work on it? Then watch this video:
2. Use Your Local Library (which often has fun events)
My kids used to love going to story time at their local library.
Or just going to sit on the floor and sift through books they may want to take home.
There was even a toy kitchen and blocks the younger kids could play with while their older siblings chose their titles.
Today, that just isn’t an option for us.
Many libraries require books to be cleaned and quarantined for 7 days after they’ve been returned, before they can be checked out again.
Space is limited and communal toys have been put away.
Lucky for us, though, our library has a wide selection of books we can download online.
They also offer online book clubs and story time.
As the weather warms up, many libraries will offer outdoor arts and craft or story hours.
You can typically find a list of activities on their website or by calling your local branch.
3. Meet with Family Members
Unfortunately, keeping our distance has translated into our kids not seeing some of their closest relatives in quite some time.
Grandparents, aunts and uncles… close cousins.
People just aren’t throwing the parties and barbeques they used to. Spending holidays apart.
I know, first hand, how hard it’s been for our kids not to have the extended family over for birthday cake.
And that is where virtual gatherings with family have come into play… Zoom, Skype, Google Duo, FaceTime, WhatsApp.
We’ve had family from all over, even Europe, gather online to sing happy birthday and watch our kids blow out their candles and open presents.
Beyond the traditional celebrations, we’ve met online for each other’s music recitals and family game nights.
There are apps and websites that allow you to play family friendly games together in real time. Games like bingo, pictionary, trivia and charades are some of the most popular.
Nothing can replace being together in person, but this is a creative way to get close to it again!
4. Play Social Video Games
If we are being realistic, we can’t talk about virtual activities for kids without discussing video games.
Video games have always been popular… but this year, they’ve exploded!
In fact, I have mom friends addicted to Animal Crossing on the Nintendo Switch, the game where you create your own private island and interact with other residents.
Playing video games with their friends is another way for them to socialize and feel one step closer to normal.
The weekends are especially packed with invites… as I’m regularly coordinating with other parents and rearranging our calendar to ensure each of our children gets time on the video game console, tablet or computer.
We have 4 children. I’m now a scheduling guru. I could plan parties.
Add to the online experience the desire to want to verbally chat while they’re playing, and it’s a whole new ballgame.
I’ve had days where my son is playing on my laptop while using his kindle fire tablet to video chat with his buddy… and one of my daughters is playing on the switch, while using my cell phone to FaceTime her girlfriend.
But I can’t complain… it’s another way for them to socialize and feel one step closer to normal.
5. Try an Exercise Class Online
With so many team sports and athletic programs having to change the way they do things, keeping kids active and engaged has been a battle for many parents.
Team sports, if done outside, have been able to continue in some capacity with safety measures in place. This typically means smaller teams and little or no parent interaction.
Activities that typically take place indoors -, such as dance, gymnastics, karate, basketball and swimming – have had to jump over different hurdles to keep themselves up and running.
In fact, many of them have resorted to small group or online classes… which makes the experience quite different. And for some, not worth the money.
Lucky for us, there are many exercise programs to be found online.
YouTube has tons of free workouts for kids… you just need to deal with the occasional ad.
And many local community centers, like a YMCA, have put classes online as well for easy access.
But whether or not you choose to pay for a subscription or course, online exercise classes are a more cost effective way to test the waters and see what may interest your child in the future.
And it will help them burn energy… which is one my personal favorite virtual activities for kids!
6. Become Explorers: Go on a Scavenger Hunt
I am blessed to live in an area where hiking trails, mountains and rivers are within a short drive (or walk) from our house.
But even if you live in a suburb or city, there are plenty of spots waiting to be explored.
Spend some time online with your kids printing out maps of different areas.
Or go on a website to help you create a scavenger hunt that can be done with friends from a safe distance outdoors.
Maybe there are fossils in your area, just waiting to be dug up?
Fully virtual scavenger hunts are also growing in popularity, among both families and teachers, and you can find tons of printables online.
7. Paint Rocks
Yes, this is a real thing.
There are even Facebook pages dedicated to it.
Arts and craft supply stores are selling kits now… to ensure you get the perfect, paintable rock.
PS, these are not necessary… but the rocks are smooth. And kids like getting new things. So win/win.
Once you’ve got your rocks and paints (or permanent markers work), simply gather a few friends online and have the supplies handy.
Paint the rocks anyway you want. Many of the ones I’ve seen have a message, symbol or word of kindness or hope printed on them.
When you’re done and they’ve had time to dry, take your kids for a drive or walk to place these rocks in different places.
The idea is for other kids to find them and take them home.
But the catch is you can’t take a rock without leaving a rock.
It’s a fun and uplifting way to let others know they are not alone, even when it may seem that way.
8. Join an Outdoor/Nature Club
There has been a real push over the last year to spend more time outdoors together… which makes it the perfect opportunity to explore the nature around us and maybe even learn a bit in the process.
Organizations such as Children Nature Network and the Natural Start Alliance have made a strong effort to get families and their friends outside to educate them on the world we live in.
Let your kids join and outdoor or nature club to let them have the opportunity to explore the nature around us and maybe even learn a bit in the process.
Whether it’s investigating the indigenous species in your area, or preserving the natural lakes and rivers, there is a lot to be learned from starting or participating in a nature club.
Many of them start online, bringing groups together and offering video presentations… and eventually end up outdoors.
9. Find a Penpal
When I was a child, I met a girl on vacation in Florida. We hit it off and became fast friends for the one week I was there.
Before we left, we exchanged addresses and made a pact to keep in touch… write letters, send postcards.
Email was not so big then.
We were going to be penpals, which at the time seemed so exciting and fun.
I always wanted that for my own kids… but in the age of tech, it’s much easier to meet someone you like and find them on Facebook or Instagram afterwards.
Which is fine. Whatever works.
But one thing hasn’t changed.
Our kids need to meet new people. And since they aren’t getting out the way they used to, it’s important they still have the opportunity to do so.
Thanks to the internet, we are able to go online and match our kids with others sharing similar interests.
Many of these websites are parent-controlled and approved, taking a bit of the fear out of things.
In many cases, you can search for penpals by location preference, choosing someone in the same state or country… or even abroad.
Whether or not you choose to have them write letters the old-fashioned way, or exchange emails and set up video chats instead, it will do your child a world of good to connect with others.
10. Schedule Virtual Playdates
Playdates do not have to stop just because we need to tweak the definition of it a bit.
Personally speaking, my children have not hosted or been to a playdate inside someone’s home for over a year. There is just something about wearing a mask indoors while playing barbies that seemed to turn my kids off to the idea.
That being said, we’ve hosted a number of playdates outdoors with the same few families during this time. Our kids run free outside, snack at separate tables and wear masks if within a few feet of each other (like on swing).
I’ve encountered other families who feel differently, though… and that is their right. It is all about comfort level.
And that is why the virtual playdate has been such a hit in our house.
As I mentioned, kids are social creatures. They are always looking to make new friends, especially when they are young.
Our youngest daughter (she’s 7) once asked me why a certain new friend couldn’t come over? It wasn’t outdoor weather… so, I explained that the girl wasn’t comfortable wearing a mask inside for very long and suggested an online playdate instead.
I set up a video chat with the other mom and the girls immediately ran to their bedrooms and pulled out dolls to start playing with. They introduced their stuffed animals. They even had a snack together in their respective kitchens.
They were laughing and singing songs. Dancing at one point.
It lasted for two hours… and not much was different, other than their physical proximity.
11. Take a Virtual Vacation
The travel business has taken a real hit, especially when it involved flying.
Most people are just skeptical to do so.
Add to that theme parks and resorts operating at limited capacity, with all sorts of new rules and restrictions in place, and we found ourselves asking “Is it worth the money for this kind of vacation?”.
Is a Disney World with masks the kind I want my kids to remember? Or the types of pictures I want in our photo album?
Virtual Vacations are a great way to bring a bit of the experience to life… from the comfort of your own home and without any stress.
Many of these “staycations” are free, but premier access is also available via websites like Amazon Explore and airbnb for a charge.
12. Sign Up to Learn Magic Tricks or Host A Magic Show
Apparently, online magic school is a pretty big deal these days.
I actually didn’t know about this one until recently.
If your child is the inquisitive type, you can arrange for a private or semi-private magic lesson from an industry magician… from the comfort of your own home via Zoom.
You can also learn magic tricks or host a magic show online and make it one of the virtual activities for kids that would make a great birthday party.
Invite other friends and host the ultimate playdate!
There are also companies that provide magic shows for a fee, where you are able to invite a certain number of guests to join in the fun online… making this one of the virtual activities for kids that would make a great birthday party!
13. Take an Online Field Trip
Museums, zoos and aquariums have seen a drop off in visitors over the past year… especially the indoor exhibits.
In an effort to keep people interested, and hopefully one day return, many of these places offer online “field trips”… where kids can tour the facility.
Some of the tours utilize technology that allows guests to zoom in and out, rotate and actually see things up close. It’s rather remarkable.
I remember the day famed child book author and artist, Mo Willems, unveiled “Lunchtime Doodles with Mo”… a free YouTube program via the Kennedy Center.
My kids were so excited to sit down at their craft table and cast Mo on the television, teaching them how to draw their favorite characters and listen to him read one of his books.
Mo even addressed the issue of being at home and made kids feel safe, while keeping them occupied.
“Lunchtime Doodles” became so popular that other artists and authors soon followed suit. Even celebrities are now involved, reading their favorite children’s books to kids online.
A simple google or YouTube search will get your where your kids want to go for a little after school retreat.
15. Take a Coding Class
If you fear that your kids are going to be hooked on technology, why not try and make it more of an educational experience by enrolling them in an online coding class.
My 10-year-old is obsessed with Minecraft. He loves creating online worlds… and has gotten his younger siblings into it as well.
So, when I explained that coding was behind all of the popular video games, he was intrigued and wanted to learn more.
With very little effort, I was able to find a local coding school that offered online courses… or a hybrid of online and in-person.
There are also fully virtual coding programs and websites available to anyone with a computer. Many of them are free, while some require a fee for premium education (such as more advanced coding techniques or access to an online instructor).
16. Take Music Lessons Online
Music is such a wonderful way for kids to express themselves. There is a reason babies respond to it so early on… it’s easy to sing and dance and hum.
And while learning an instrument and how to read music may not turn into their life’s passion… it is still a great way to open their minds and expose them to new outlets for creativity.
Many music schools have started to offer live, private lessons online. The average cost is roughly $1 per minute if you’re starting out.
If you’d prefer to learn unsupervised, you can download videos on YouTube or try your hand at a website like skillshare… which does offer free trials.
17. Try Yoga
Calming the mind and relaxing the body are important for keeping us centered.
Some people prefer to do this by heading outside for a walk, hike or bike ride. Maybe some fishing.
Others like to go for massages regularly.
But many people have been turned on to yoga… and found great success with it.
And yoga for kids has really gained momentum, working wonders for children with certain conditions, such as ADHD and autism.
You can find recorded online classes to do from home, join a local studio’s live sessions or checkout and subscribe to free YouTube channels like Cosmic Kids Yoga.
18. Watch a Wildlife Cam
No matter where you live, there is beauty to be found in nature.
Birds, bears, eagles, foxes, frogs, snakes, turtles, coyotes and deer are just some of the beauties in my family’s backyard.
But even if you don’t have up-close and personal access to creatures like these where you live… you still have the chance to experience the wonder from home thanks to live, streaming wildlife cameras.
Local conservancies, rescues, national zoos, parks, wildlife refuges and aquariums have been posting footage of babies being born and animals wandering around their natural habits for years… in hopes of raising awareness and educating future generations.
The San Diego Zoo has a number of cams going throughout the day and night… and is definitely worth a gander for curious kiddos.
19. Learn to Cook
They say that cooking brings families together.
Some of my earliest memories are making homemade ravioli in my great grandmother’s kitchen. Now that I’m a mom, the hope is to create those same types of memories with my kids.
The best part about cooking or baking together, besides eating the fruits of your labor afterwards, is that it doesn’t have to be restaurant quality… although it doesn’t hurt to try.
Online cooking classes are some of the best virtual activities for kids to take part in.
They teach math, and patience, while fostering creativity.
There are chef-led classes, such as Sprouts Cooking Club… but many community centers and colleges offer online courses as well, at a lower cost, if not free.
But if you want to get fancy, you are certainly entitled to try taking a Masterclass with your kids to learn from some of the world’s most famous chefs!
Final Thoughts on Virtual Activities for Kids
During a time when we are being asked to spend more days and nights at home… there is very little point in fighting the role technology plays in our children’s lives.
It is everywhere.
They are using it for school, for socializing… even exercising.
And then there is the entertainment factor.
So instead of trying to win any “parent of the year” awards, do your kids a favor and embrace what is in front of them.
The world of virtual activities is vast. There are options for all interests and needs… you just need to look for them.
Outschool is a great one-stop resource, specializing in bringing kids together for online courses in all areas.
Look… your kids will never stop wanting to actually hang out with their friends in person, but depriving them of the next best thing would be a mistake.
Nicole Krause has been writing both personally and professionally for over 20 years. She holds a dual B.A. in English and Film Studies. Her work has appeared in some of the country’s top publications, major news outlets, online publications, and blogs. As a happily married (and extremely busy) mother of four… her articles primarily focus on parenting, marriage, family, finance, organization, and product reviews.
There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.
Do you feel like the ‘head over heels’ train is almost coming to a halt and turning to be the ‘what’s for dinner’ type of conversation?
Don’t let things get there. Excellent communication is one of the most critical ingredients of a long-lasting relationship. Coming up with the correct conversation starters for couples is not an easy task for most of us.
That is why this article lists 137 conversation starters to help couples start and carry on with a more meaningful conversation.
Whether you are a new couple looking to know each other better or have been a couple for several years, there are tons of questions for couples that you can ask your partner to get that conversation flowing.
Depending on what you are doing and the mood in the air, make sure your conversation starters match with the moment.
If you are just doing dishes, having dinner, or simply relaxing on the couch, there is always something beautiful, serious or light-hearted to ask that can stir up a good conversion, and who knows? You may end up learning something quite interesting about your spouse that you knew nothing about.
But before we get to that exciting part, let’s find out what conversation starters for couples are.
What are Conversation Starters for Couples?
A conversation starter for couples is a statement or question that acts as an ice breaker and prevents those awkward moments of sudden silence.
They help keep conversations flowing for couples without feeling as if you are forcing the talks. Simple statements or straightforward open-ended questions can really get the conversation going, especially when you are doing things together.
Having a better understanding of your better half makes everything about your relationship easier. It is the same reason why people date or marry their best friends.
You are happier when you date or marry your best friend. The whole point about it is that it is easier to start a conversation with your best friend than someone you simply love.
Knowing how to start a great conversation is an art by itself, so feel free to explore the list to find out what works for you.
Now let’s get down to business!
General Conversation Starters & Questions for Couples
Do you consider yourself an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert?
Want to find out if your better half is a reserved homebody, an approachable and outgoing buddy, or simply a mix of both? Then pop this one out.
If you had enough money to help you follow your passions, what would you pursue?
Listen keenly and be patient because the answer may be coming from Mt Everest. You are most likely going to get a response of her most extraordinary things. Remember, this is not your time to be judgmental.
What is the biggest thing you are looking forward to this coming week? Or are you not looking forward to?
This is the best question to ask someone who is always busy but made some time for you. It shows that you care about other things that matter in his life.
What makes you really happy?
Maybe it’s that cup of steaming coffee that you make for him every day. Or that love message you write every morning or that Ps5 you bought him a few months ago. Time to find out!
If you were asked to pick only one type of food to eat it for the rest of your life, what would that be?
This one is for pure fun. If it’s your first or second date, brace yourself for your other half’s favorite meal. Something you will have to acquaint yourself with, that will make anniversary planning easier.
What is the strangest thing your date ever did that turned you off completely?
Is it snoring too loud? Nasty constant smirks? Or was it that irritating noise when taking coffee? Whatever it is, find out and laugh it out if it’s funny. It will help you know what to avoid.
If you won a lottery today, what is that one thing that you would buy first?
She will definitely get something that she badly needs. Don’t waste this chance. If it’s something you can afford, why don’t you arrange it for her birthday and be her superhero?
What kind of date do you consider romantic?
Pay attention to this one. It will help you understand your partner deeper. Who knows, you will find out what to get for his birthday. You will also know whether you are dating a romantic person or you have some training to do.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Not everyone does, so be open-minded.
What makes you dislike someone?
Betrayal? Too much ego? Don’t guess, just wait for it. It might be something too unique.
Which career did you admire most when you were young?
Coming from a family of doctors or engineers? What do you expect? For younger folks, it could be something odder like the garbage guy, the mailman, or the truck driver. Just listen and laugh it out.
If you were asked to choose a country that you would like to live for the rest of your life, which country would you choose?
Iceland? Tanzania? Fiji? Or home is best? This one’s for fun, but be keen it could just be the right question to help you find out your next vacation. Free tip—make it a surprise.
What is that one thing you would wish to change about yourself?
Remember to keep your opinion to your heart. This is where you get to learn the kind of person you are dealing with and where you should come in and help.
What are your five core personal values?
Values are essential in any relationship. They don’t have to be similar to yours, and they also should not break yours. So, find out early if they are the deal breakers in your relationship.
Do you have an activity that you enjoy doing alone?
It could be a hobby or an activity that requires a lot of silence and concentration. Maybe you should join him in his mancave? You never know how it would end until you try.
What was the strangest punishment your parents ever gave you?
Find out how you ended up marrying or dating such a weirdo. It could be coming from the parents. What if there were no punishments?
What do you miss most about your childhood, and would you go back to childhood if you had the chance?
Is it the get home parties where all cousins would meet and share some naughty ideas that ended up ruining the family unions? Whatever it is, don’t be surprised to find out that your spouse would like to go back to his little self.
Do you have a secret that you have never shared with anyone?
Don’t look for a yes or no. Drive the question home and enquire whether they would like to share, and let’s hope it is not that bad.
When are you most productive and least productive?
They could either be productive in the morning or during the day. Some people are more active at night. Find out the type of partner you are dating.
What is that petty and common thing that people do that really get on your nerves?
Could it be something you do? Find out today and clear the air.
What was the most motivational and uplifting thing you ever listened to about yourself, and who said it to you?
We have all, at some point, heard something very uplifting about ourselves that motivated us to do more. This moment is every more special when the very words we want to hear comes from the people we love.
What was your favorite game as a child, and which toy did you treasure most?
Did he like Lego and pulling girls’ hair as a game? He must have been a naughty boy but with an exciting childhood.
If you were asked to give a presidential speech, what would you talk about?
Want to know the kind of person you are dating? This question will get you straight to the point. Ask out loud and wait patiently for those words.
What is your most embarrassing moment during childhood?
We have all been there. Maybe her embarrassing moment could have been worse. Have some fun as you listen. You are allowed to laugh.
If you had the powers to change yourself into anything, what would that be?
Another fun way to help you know more about your better half. Don’t guess; the answer is coming shortly.
What is the most humorous myth you ever heard about yourself?
That you have a habit of hyperventilating before girls? That you can see backwards? Whatever it is, we all know it’s a myth.
What is the craziest thing that ever happened at your workplace?
Coffee on a computer with an incomplete project? That must have been the worst day, not crazy.
Which memorable lesson did you learn the hard way?
We learn best when we make mistakes. Your partner is no exception.
What are you most grateful for in life?
It could be you, his family, her new job, or her new life with you in general. It is just wonderful to know that your partner is grateful to have you around. This one will get the conversation going in the right direction.
If all crimes were made legal for a single day, which offense would you commit?
Find out the kind of person you are dating with this single question. It can turn out to be an interesting one if you engage your partner the right way.
When last did you cry? And why?
It could be last night or today morning when she woke up. This is a great conversation starter that will help understand your girlfriend or wife, more particularly her struggles.
What was your biggest mistake in life, and how did you deal with it?
This question works well if you were talking about work or business. It shows that you care about your partner’s welfare and also helps you learn the type of person they really are.
Which characteristic do you think is necessary for a long-lasting relationship?
Respect, love, care, listen to all of them, and take notes.
What is the easiest way to make you feel happy and special?
In most cases, it is easy. A simple peck, hug, or some little cuddles does the magic.
If today was your last day on earth, what would you do?
Visit the entire Hawaii? Party all through? Find out what to do for her to make her feel special.
What is that thing about your life that you keep postponing or ignoring?
We all have that one thing that we skip. Listen to the answer; you may just be the right motivation to accomplish it.
Have you ever faked (not being yourself) on a date just to impress? How did it go?
This is an interesting one. It is a great conversation starter that will lead to an exciting conversation. Share yours too.
If you could be a character in a popular movie or tv show, who would you like to be and why?
Rick Grimes of the Walking Dead? Or the Professor of Money Heist. Find out!
What is the craziest thing you ever did when angry?
What is your spouse capable of? Find out how you can help them manage their anger, or whether its another deal breaker.
Ever thought how humans would look like in the next 100 years?
Is your spouse a scientist, as he claims? This question will help you know the truth.
If money were never an object for you, what would you do differently?
This conversation starter also helps you understand your spouse in various aspects like his true behavior, his loyalty, and his passions.
What best describes you when angry, crying, shouting, knocking things down, or silence?
Know what to expect when your partner is angry by posing this question, and don’t forget to share your side and discuss how both of you can work things out whenever one of you is angry.
Conversation Starters About Your Relationship
If I wasn’t your partner today, what aspect of your life do you think would have changed completely?
Which act or gesture do you consider romantic?
What romantic words do you think I should use more often?
What do you think is our biggest strength as a couple?
Apart from us, which other couple do you admire?
Do you believe in sharing our problems with your friends and family to help with advice and ideas?
Have you, at any one point, felt insecure in this relationship?
Have you ever given up on something because of love?
What is your biggest fear in our relationship?
What aspect of our relationship do you like most?
What is the most painful thing to hear from someone you love?
Are you secretly embarrassed about something about me?
What is your worst relationship experience?
Do you believe in second chances?
If you could invent something for the world, what would it be?
Who was your superhero as a child, and why?
What’s your favorite thing about me?
If you had powers to change anything about me, what would that be?
Do you think it is proper to discuss our finances?
Which activities or hobbies would you like us to try as a couple?
Do you think it is essential for couples to maintain their own separate identities
What memories about us do you value most?
What is the hardest part of balancing work life and family life?
What would you consider worse emotional or physical cheating?
What was the best relationship advice you ever received and from who?
Which personalities about us do you think complement each other?
What are your five relationship goals?
What do you think we can do to strengthen our relationship?
What caused the fall out between you and your friends?
Have friends ever been a factor when deciding whom to date or marry?
Have you ever tried to act nice around an old friend who you secretly dislike?
What is that thing you love doing, but other people find it gross?
What did you find normal in your family when you were young, but seems weird now?
If you were to choose between family and money, what would you go for?
Which unique character did you take from one of your parents?
How do you deal with a situation where your parents don’t agree with your decisions?
What is that thing many people are afraid of but you aren’t?
Do you prefer to trust people or not trust people? Why?
Have you ever had a serious fight with your parents? How did you solve it?
Do you believe in the ‘family comes first’ phrase?
What is the worst thing a friend did to you that you will never forget?
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you had to lie to for a friend or family?
What age did you realize that your parents were just humans with flaws like everyone else?
What did you learn from your parents that you still practice to date?
What is the biggest favor you ever did for someone?
What are your two most significant events in your life?
Serious Conversation Starters About Your Careers
Do you have a mentor, or would you wish to have one in the future?
How do you help someone improve in their career?
What is the most rewarding thing about your daily routine?
Do you have a specific principle that you follow, no matter the circumstance?
What do you hope to achieve in the next five years?
What was your favorite book when you were growing up, and why?
Is your current job your dream job?
If you were to go back to the drawing board and choose a new career, what would it be?
How do you deal with life challenges?
What is that idea that someone shared with you that you think you should have known sooner?
What motivates you to work even harder?
In your career, is there something you feel is missing, or you should work on to achieve goals?
Which job do you think you were born to do?
If you were to open a business today, what type of business would you go for?
What was the most significant career opportunity you have ever been given?
When you achieve something big, how do you reward yourself?
Do you work better under pressure or when relaxed?
Have you ever been involved in substantial financial losses? How did you recover?
What should come first according to you: work or family?
Fun and Interesting Conversation Starters
What is the most embarrassing phase of your life?
Have you ever kissed someone accidentally? How did it go?
What is that thing you like doing that you consider useless and unbeneficial?
Which daily personal activity do you dislike doing?
Between horror, science fiction, and romance movies, and books, what would you choose?
What disgusts you more, a dirty kitchen or a dirty bathroom?
Which is your weirdest habit?
What is the most traumatic moment you have ever gone through?
Which three words best describe your personality?
What is the telltale sign of a shallow-minded person according to you?
What is that thing that you did as a child, you consider childish but still do it today?
What is your favorite season of the year?
Have you ever caught your parents in a compromising situation?
If you had to kill one person to save ten more, would you do it?
Do you ever think about your death?
What would you like people to remember about you when you die?
Where is your happy place, and how often do you visit it?
If you had to erase a movie from your mind, which one would it be?
Do you have any childhood experiences that you feel you missed out on?
If you had one chance to choose one person and tell them one word, who would you pick and what would you say?
What was your worst nightmare?
Have you ever wished you were born on another planet?
Which subjects did you like or hate in school?
What is that nasty behavior that you try to do whatever you are alone?
Do you consider yourself as forgiving to the extent that you can forgive anything under the sun?
Which habit did you like doing but stopped?
Have you ever battled something on your own? What was the outcome, and did you make it?
What is that myth that you grew up knowing but found out recently that it is a myth?
Which neighborhood scandal do you remember that happened when you were growing up?
Final Thought on Conversation Starters for Couples
Conversation starters can help both dating, and married couples build a more in-depth conversation and increase the respect and knowledge for each other. By asking relevant and on-point questions, thinking is stimulated, and the natural flow of a conversation is created.
Whether it is a first date or the 1000th date, take the wheel and start your conversations with some of the conversation starters for couples from this list, and I promise you, everything will flow like fine wine. Remember to choose the right moment for the question, and don’t forget to be a good listener.
There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.
First comes love…
Sometimes comes marriage…
Then comes baby in the baby carriage?
C’mon… let’s be honest with each other.
We now live in a very progressive society.
One where marriage isn’t necessarily the goal for a lot of people.
In fact, one might say that the dream has been somewhat watered down to simply finding that special someone you “click” with… can happily cohabitate with… and then maybe, just maybe, start a family with.
Especially if you’re not living together for one reason or another.
Especially if you don’t like each other anymore.
What happens then is something called co-parenting… and it’s on the rise, according to psychologists.
In this article, I will:
Define co-parenting
List the benefits of co-parenting
Offer tips on how to get started
Provide ways for dealing with a toxic ex
Supply a list of resources to help you succeed at co-parenting
It’s not as scary as it sounds.
We can get through this.
Together.
So let’s get started.
What is Co-Parenting?
Co-parenting occurs when two parents of a child are no longer romantically involved, but still assume joint responsibility for the upbringing of their child.
Whether it’s the result of divorce… a one night-stand gone wrong (it happens)… or a relationship that simply wasn’t meant to be… most people can agree that a child benefits from the love and guidance of both parents.
In the case of co-parenting, separated couples share joint custody of the child (or children).
They are in frequent contact with one another in an effort to keep up a seemingly normal and healthy routine for the child.
Speaking of routine, watch the video below if you need help developing a morning routine for your kids.
Remember… regardless of how you feel about your ex, your child only feels love for the both of you.
And co-parenting is intended to keep them feeling that way for years to come.
The Benefits of Co-Parenting
Similar to the benefits associated with raising children in a loving two-parent household, the benefits of successful co-parenting will directly and positively impact your child’s emotional sense of well being.
In fact, research has shown that children with parents who co-parent successfully following a separation, grow up just as happy and well adjusted as children with parents who had successful marriages.
And in some instances, these products of co-parenting are even more likely to succeed in their careers and face a lower divorce rate as adults.
There are many factors that attribute to this.
Among them, successful co-parenting:
Limits a child’s feelings of guilt
Eliminates a child’s anxiety, keeping them “out of the middle” of a tough situation
Demonstrates how to effectively resolve problems and settle conflict
Teaches patience and compromise
Keeps the feeling of family in tact, making it a priority
Makes life easier for extended family, teachers and friends
Exemplifies good communication skills
Children are impressionable, especially at a young age.
They wear their hearts on their sleeves… and often no nothing of true animosity towards another person.
As parents, we are responsible for showing our children what love is.
For making them feel safe and cherished always.
For building their self esteem.
We are the example.
Co-parenting reassures your child that they come first. That they are loved.
And that benefits their psyche.
Solid and unified parenting will help to determine the type of adult your child turns out to be… and the relationships he or she choose to forge.
We now live in a very progressive society. One where marriage isn’t necessarily the goal for a lot of people. But it does seem that people today still want to raise kids.
Co-Parenting 101: How to Get Started
You may find yourself asking, “Will co-parenting work for me?”
And, “Where do I start?”
Well, the answer to the first question is yes!
Yes!
Co-parenting works if you want it to… and if you are both open to compromise.
It works because you are doing it for your children.
And your children are perhaps the one thing you and your ex have in common.
So where do you begin?
Step #1: Start by having the conversation with your former partner.
Assure him or her that you have no intention of messing this up… that the children are your priority.
Let them know your expectations for co-parenting, and listen to theirs.
Step #2: Identify your situation.
What kind of relationship do you have with each other?
Typically, there are one of two scenarios that come into play:
The amicable split
The bitter breakup
In the ideal scenario… a couple’s decision to end a relationship is an amicable and mutual one.
One where they remain friends… or, as friendly as one can be after a breakup.
One where there respect each other’s separate lives and personal space… yet have no problem coming together when it involves making decisions on parenting.
In fact, they don’t seem to mind it much.
But sadly, this is not often the case.
At least not in the beginning.
Now, don’t get me wrong… that can change.
In fact, I have a story.
A story of a close friend who suffered through an awful breakup.
And we’re not just talking about two people who didn’t get along.
My friend… we’ll call her Gabby… met and fell in love with a man named Rick.
They never married.
They dated on and off for years… lived together at one point… had some great times, partied hard.
Well… he partied hard.
Occasional alcohol and drug use turned into daily use.
No matter how horrible a breakup is, couples have to find a way to keep the children feeling safe and loved has to trump all of those awful and dark feelings.
The hard stuff.
Then they got pregnant.
Rick got clean.
Or so she thought.
They were back together.
Happy.
Having fun.
Marriage was now a possibility in her mind.
So Gabby got pregnant again.
Two kids together now.
Still not married.
Relapse.
Rehab.
Prison.
Yes, Rick went to prison for distribution.
More rehab.
Halfway houses.
Therapy.
Supervised visitation.
This went on for years.
Their oldest child, a girl, started lashing out at Gabby.
Missing her father.
The youngest, a boy, was too young to know any better.
And then one day, Rick went off and got clean…
Truly.
Soon after, he got himself a new job…
And a new woman.
A good woman.
A good woman who wasn’t Gabby.
Sure, Gabby was pretty upset at first… livid at times.
Rick, Maggie, Gabby, Chad and the kids spend some holidays together… have even vacationed together.
They help each other out in a pinch.
They make decisions together.
They are friends.
Good friends, actually.
For the kids.
And the kids are happier for it.
When you ask their daughter, who is now a sophomore in high school, how she likes having “four parents”… she says he considers herself lucky.
She has four people who love her.
Guide her.
Who never gave up on her when she challenged them.
And she did challenge them… countless times.
She is witness to the values of strength, compromise, maturity and understanding… on a daily basis.
Gabby and Rick made the decision to co-parent for the kids… but in the end, it actually helped them find their way as well.
And they are both happier people for it.
And happy parents make for happy kids.
The End…
The End?
On the contrary…
Unlike with my friend, there are still countless instances of couples ending a relationship with so much resentment and anger, that it’s almost impossible for them to fathom ever looking at each other again… let alone communicating on a regular basis.
The bitter breakup.
The kind where only feelings of hurt, hatred, disgust and disappointment remain.
It happens.
But know this…
Finding a way to keep the children feeling safe and loved has to trump all of those awful and dark feelings.
You have to find a way… for them.
But we’ll talk more about that in a minute.
Let’s wrap this part up, shall we?
Onward…
Step #3: Seek out help. Accept help.
Co-parenting is not easy. Don’t be afraid to reach out to family and friends for support… even your ex’s family and friends.
The internet is a great place to start when it comes to learning more about co-parenting.
Whether it’s testimonials from actual couples, or advice from attorneys or field psychologists… there are resources available to help you get started.
Chat rooms.
Message boards.
Support groups.
Also don’t be afraid to reach out to family and friends for support… even your ex’s family and friends.
Which brings us to our next topic.
Dealing with the Toxic Ex
Ok.
As promised, I’m going to shed some light on how to co-parent after a bitter breakup.
You see, finding ways to get along with an ex can be hard… even when they’re somewhat decent human beings.
Toxic to almost everyone around them… even their own family and friends.
Negativity tends to radiate from these types of people… and impacts everyone they come in contact with.
When you’re involved in a relationship with a person like that, the very thought of being in the same room with them brings you down.
Makes you feel at your worst.
And brings out the worst in you.
At times, you don’t even recognize who you are.
That’s why you split up.
Not just for your sake, but for the kids’.
So what can you do?
What should you do?
I mean, it’s not as if they are just a coworker you can distance yourself from… you were in a relationship and had a child with this person.
It’s an entirely different animal.
Like it or not, you’re stuck with them for the long haul… your children bind you.
But how do you safely allow them into your child’s world after separation?
How do you convince yourself that having he or she be an active co-parent is a good idea?
It’s not easy, but it can be done.
Dr. Karen Finn, a renowned divorce coach and author, provides some great information for dealing with a toxic ex on her website. She even offers personal consultations.
For starters, here are some tips:
Never, under any circumstance, badmouth your ex to your child.
Figure out your top priorities in your new role as a single co-parent.
Encourage your child to talk to and spend time with your ex.
Limit conversations with your ex to matters dealing with the children.
Figure out what sets your ex off, what triggers his or her mood swings.
Your child doesn’t need to know the details of your separation.
Respect and value the relationship your child has with your ex.
Keep your cool and never engage in negativity.
Now… you may worry that your ex isn’t playing by the same rules.
Are they going to badmouth me to the kids?
Are they going to threaten replacing me?
These are valid concerns, but shouldn’t stop you from engaging in a co-parent relationship.
There are ways to get around this.
There are various books on this very topic, many of which can be found on amazon, and can be extremely helpful.
Still, it’s unlikely that anybody knows your ex better than you.
So at the end of the day, if you feel they are just too toxic (or abusive) to engage in effective co-parenting arrangements, there are professionals trained to help.
A therapist or mediator is capable of outlining a successful co-parenting plan for you. One that ensures the following guidelines are met:
Cooperation
Communication
Compromise
Consistency
Either of these professionals will typically serve as the primary point of contact, the liaison, between you and your ex.
If need be, they will draft a written co-parenting plan for you that can be used in court… should things become ugly. There are tons of templates available online to help with this.
Mediation can provide a safe place for you and your ex to sit down and hash things out.
Co-Parenting Resources
There are countless websites, apps, online classes, books, meetup/support groups… all dealing with how to co-parent.
Once your identify your relationship with your ex, you may want to check some of these out.
Top Co-Parenting Websites & Apps
Our Family Wizard – The OurFamilyWizard® website is designed to reduce the stress of managing communication and family plans across separate households.
Equipped with a shared calendar, message board, expense log, journal and info bank. App available for: iPhone®, Android®, KindleFire®, Blackberry® . The cost is $99 per parent per year, and child accounts are free.
Coparently – Coparently offers online and mobile communication tools to help co-parents improve calendaring issues, communicate more clearly, track shared expenses, and store accurate, up-to-date contact information.
The solution costs $99 per year, per parent, or $9.99 per month. Again, that’s per-parent pricing, which adds up. On the plus side, the solution’s clear interface may mean that you’ll both be more likely to use it on a regular basis. Offers a 30-day free trial. Children can be added. Phone apps are available.
Cozi – Cozi is a free online calendar program that’s ideal for co-parenting communication. In addition to shared calendar pages, it also offers free mobile options, shopping lists, meal planning, to do lists, and more.
Create a separate “kids” calendar. Track homework and long term assignments. You can upgrade to the ad free version for $19.99 per year.
Talking Parents – Talking Parents is a different type of online communication tool for co-parents… and perhaps the best choice for those dealing with a toxic ex. Talking Parents will generate a secure system-of-record for all of your communications, in the event that either you or your ex need to supply proof of correspondence to the courts.
The tool is free to use, but downloading a record of your communications costs $3.99 per download or $4.99 per month. It also offers a location-based search tool for parents looking for a family lawyer, should that be necessary.
Online Co-Parent Classes
This Life in Progress – The site’s Total Coparenting Transformation Class is taught by the site’s founder and co-parenting expert, Kate Chapman.
The online course includes: downloadable resources, a workbook, 11 videos and research materials. There is also a 30-day 100% money back guarantee. You can elect to purchase lifetime access to the site and its contents for $199, or else make 3 payments of $79 each.
Keep this in mind: There are times when the court may order one or both persons to complete parenting classes, where a completion certificate is required, before they are able to enter into a co-parenting arrangement.
These classes can provide some great information and insight that you may find helpful, even if not required, so could be worth checking out as well.
ParentingClassOnline.Net – These parenting classes are written by a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Board Certified Professional Counselor, Certified Parenting Instructor and Parenting Coordinator. Dr. Kathy S. Garber, an LMFT, has been offering successful online programs since 2002 and is respected by the court system. Prices start at $29.95 for a 4 hour class.
UptoParents – A free site offering online classes and personal tutorials, dedicated to showing separated and divorced parents how to build their best futures by focusing on meeting their children’s needs. Certificates can be printed or mailed.
Putting Kids First – Site offers both online and mail out classes. Prices are $60 for online and $70 by mail. Court approved.
Online Parenting Programs – Offering 2, 4, 6, 8, and 12 hour class options, with prices starting at $29.99. It does vary by state and county, so it’s important to check out the “recognized counties” feature before committing to a program. The site also offers remote mediation for a fee, with a free consultation available.
There are websites, apps, and online classes that can help guide parents through the process and make co-parenting easier.
Best-Seller Books on Co-Parenting
Meetup/Support Groups
As we mentioned at the start… you are not alone.
Sadly, many people are facing a similar situation to yours… standing in your shoes… every single day.
Getting in touch with some of those people can be really comforting in this trying time.
Sure, friends and family can help you through… but do they truly know what you’re going through? Really?
Try checking out some of these for moral support:
Facebook – Co-parenting Support Page offering tips, advice and daily affirmations.
Meetup – Find a group to meet up with in your area… or start your own!
Single & Parenting – Religion-based groups, designed to incorporate faith into parenting. Just type in your zip code and distance radius to find a meeting near you.
I’ve always been a fan of starting my own group… it’s a great way to meet people on your terms.
Plus, getting involved with a project can help keep your mind off of the emotional rollercoaster you’ve been riding.
So…
Now what?
Final Thoughts on Co-Parenting
The main goal of good co-parenting is for your child to be happy, healthy, independent, safe and successful.
Parenting is one of the most exciting… and scariest… adventures you will ever embark upon.
At the very moment your child was born, your life changed direction.
Think of it as making a u-turn off Carefree Road onto Dependency Highway.
A baby needs his parents.
And you need each other to get through the challenges that child will bring.
The crying…
Sleepless nights…
Developmental issues…
Tantrums…
Illness….
Problems in school…
Their choice in friends…
The list goes on.
And while these things are not always catastrophic or “doom and gloom” incidents… they can feel daunting at the time.
Every child is different.
You need a partner to share ideas and emotions with.
The highs and lows.
Co-parenting is no different.
It’s still parenting… but with a twist.
After all, just because you aren’t in love anymore doesn’t mean you don’t love that child.
And that love breeds familiarity.
Familiarity with the child.
With each other.
With how you want to raise them.
You both want your child to be happy, healthy, independent, safe and successful.
That’s the goal, isn’t it?
And if you keep that goal in mind… keep the focus on what you want for the child, instead of yourselves, you’ll be ok.
You will be able to meet on common ground and lay a new foundation for their future.
A future where mom and dad don’t live together anymore, but still make every effort to keep a sense of family in tact.
The children the priority.
It will likely take some time to perfect your new relationship with your ex, but your children will definitely appreciate the sacrifices you made to get there… and be all the better off for it.
They will be ok.
You will be ok.
It will all be ok.
Just remember these rules for successful co-parenting:
Never talk badly about one another in front of the children.
Check your egos, personal grudges and emotions at the door.
Keep communications with your ex solely about the children.
Set a schedule and don’t divert from it, consistency is key.
Be cooperative and flexible.
Be on the same page when it comes to discipline and reward.
Divide up responsibilities fairly, be conscious of each other’s schedules and limitations.
Be honest with each other if you don’t agree with or like something.
Listen…
Co-parenting is not rocket science.
It’s merely two people learning how to work together to get a job done.
Two people that may not particularly care for one another… but know that the end game is worth every bit of effort they can muster.
Well-adjusted children.
That is what every parent wants.
They want to see their child smile.
Laugh.
Love.
Work hard. Be considerate of others.
These things are fostered in the home.
And nobody says home has to include two happily married parents… it’s the “two” part that matters.
Two parents are better than one.
Every day.
All day.
You can do this!
And if you’re looking for more parenting tips, here are some articles to check out:
Nicole Krause has been writing both personally and professionally for over 20 years. She holds a dual B.A. in English and Film Studies. Her work has appeared in some of the country’s top publications, major news outlets, online publications, and blogs. As a happily married (and extremely busy) mother of four… her articles primarily focus on parenting, marriage, family, finance, organization, and product reviews.
There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.
Is your family organized? Are you getting the most out of your family time? Do you have routines in place?
In a study commissioned by the Highland Spring Group… the average family spends just 34 minutes per day of quality time together during the week.
This is the time where they feel they are actually bonding with each other and catching up… without electronics or daily routines getting in the way.
Adding structure to your day through a morning routine for your children will help make sure this quality time is not lessened any further. The video below provides a 6-step process you can use to create a great morning routine for your kids.
While this amount does increase on the weekends, it is still nominal. In fact, the average is just over 3 hours over the course of an entire weekend.
So if you’re doing the math as I did… we are basically spending about 5.5 hours per week with our children.
And if you work 40 or more hours per week… that basically equates to spending your lunch hour with them every day. Give or take.
Am I the only one saddened by this?
There has got to be a better way.
A way to make family time a priority… schedule it, if you must.
It’s more like having a personal assistant on your phone, tablet or computer.
In this Cozi review post, I will:
Explain the app’s key features
Show you how to get started
Go over the costs and benefits in comparison to similar products
Get “Cozi” with These Key Features
The Cozi Family Organizer began as a simple shared calendar.
One might even be tempted to say, “Big deal! Google Calendar does that too.”.
Sure… Google Calendar does that.
And your Google Calendar can be shared with Cozi… but we will get to that in a bit.
For now, I ask you this…
Can Google Calendar manage your grocery lists?
Or plan a meal for you?
Not yet.
Not yet.
Cozi Feature #1: The Shared Family Calendar
Cozi’s shared calendar feature is the very definition of simplicity.
For starters, during the initial setup, you are given the choice as the organizer of the calendar to grant permissions to other administrators (spouse, partner, grandparent, teenager etc…). This person will be able to edit and add to the calendar as well.
It only asks for your email addresses and a family name.
Fun fact: you can add a family photo to personalize the calendar further.
Next, you simply add your children’s names… and any other family members you want to be included on the calendar. Email addresses for them are optional.
You will receive an email confirming the calendar setup within minutes.
The same goes for anybody you added email notifications for. You just need to provide them with the shared family password to access the calendar.
The introductory email will provide the basics, including a link for how to integrate other calendars with Cozi.
Google, Apple Calendar, Outlook, TeamSnap are among the most popular that can work with Cozi Family Organizer.
So, if you’re a creature of habit, you don’t necessarily have to give those calendars up to enjoy the added benefits of Cozi.
Once you’re all set up, you can start to add appointments to the calendar, simply by clicking on the calendar tab.
Cozi automatically assigns each member of the family a color… which is both pleasing to the eye and practical. These colors can be changed, should you really care, simply by clicking on the settings tab.
The calendar also features the option to either view the entire family calendar at once, or else filter by an individual. It’s located under the calendar’s “show” tab.
And handy reminders keep everyone on task… so no one misses an important appointment or event. You can set one reminder (ie. 1 hour before) for free.
Additional reminders require a Cozi Gold membership. We will discuss pricing and upgrade options later on in the post.
Cozi Feature #2: The Grocery Store Companion
Cozi Family Organizer features a shopping tab, where you can go to create and manage shopping lists.
Simply click on “lists” to create a new one… ie. Thursday Dinner.
Then start typing your ingredients.
You can even drag and drop items to match their location in the grocery store.
The list can then be shared with a family member you select via their To Do List.
It can also be printed out, in case you choose not to install the Cozi Family Organizer app on your phone.
But why wouldn’t you?
It’s free.
Cozi Feature #3: Ta Da! A To Do List
Cozi Family Organizer features a To Do List option, where you can jot down important things for another family member to do.
For instance, reminders to “finish science project” or “change the water filter” can come in handy when your day is getting away from you.
The To Do List is meant for items that don’t necessarily belong on the calendar, but need to get done just the same.
Basic… yes.
Helpful… definitely!
These lists will show up next to your calendar on the homepage for easy access.
Cozi Feature #4: Meal Planning Made Easy
Meal planning can be a lifesaver when it comes to feeding your family during the week.
Just because one kid has gymnastics, another one has piano lessons and you’ve got a client meeting… doesn’t mean you can’t work together to plan and prepare a healthy and delicious home-cooked meal.
And the Cozi Family Organizer has just the tool to help you do it!
The “Meals” tab is your one-stop shop for adding and storing recipes, as well as seamlessly converting them into shopping lists.
Here, you can:
Type in your own recipes
Import recipes from the web by simply adding a link to your search engine’s favorites bar
Search through the Cozi Family Organizer database of recipes under the page’s “Folders” tab, then add it to your personal recipe box
Add a selected recipe to your calendar via the “Meal Planner” tab (simple drag and drop form your recipe box)
Import the recipe to a particular day’s grocery list
Get a side-by-side view of your calendar right in your Cozi Meal Planner. See what’s going on each day as you choose the right meal for your family.
Sure, there are other meal planning apps out there… but, when time is an issue, it’s helpful to have everything in one place.
Cozi Feature #5: The Family Journal
Life moves fast.
We’ve established this.
Blink and your kids go from being in diapers… to being behind the wheel for the first time.
Until we figure out how to slow time down… or time travel… we need to do our best to make sure that every moment counts.
There are no do-overs.
Spending time together as a family is often made up of a series of little moments, which can easily get lost in the day to day craziness.
Cozi Family Organizer can help.
The “journal” feature is a unique way to jot down something special that happened on any given day. You can even add a picture.
The Cozi family journal has features like:
First words
First lost tooth
Potty training
Something “funny” they said
First day of school
Riding a bicycle for the first time
Sporting events
Anniversaries and birthdays
Vacations
Getting a driver’s license
Heading off to college
These are milestones for your family… and should be chronicled.
Cozi Family Organizer keeps track of these things, and will even email family members a monthly newsletter should you choose… sharing all that happened.
Your home page will also display the day’s journal entries for you… which will surely put a smile on your face.
Cozi Gold… An Ad-Free Experience with Additional Features
I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying, “you get what you pay for.”.
Whether shopping for groceries, clothes, a car, electronics… there are certain price points where the difference in quality becomes noticeable.
I’ve paid $9.99 for a blouse that fell apart after just 3 washes.
I’ve paid $29 for a similar blouse… and have had it for 3 years.
Hindsight is 20/20.
And we all have our stuff.
Stuff we are willing to compromise on… and stuff we aren’t.
Fortunately for Cozi Family Organizer users, you’re aren’t really compromising with the free version.
It’s great.
The Cozi app does what you need it too… and then some. That says a lot.
So upgrading to Cozi Gold is really about preference.
About the kind of experience you want with the Cozi Family Organizer.
For starters, Cozi Gold is ad-free.
The ads aren’t so much an issue on the desktop version… but for the app users, it may prove a tad annoying.
Another big feature only available via Cozi Gold is multiple reminders.
If you recall, Cozi Family Organizer sends one email reminder per calendar entry… usually a few minutes before the event or activity.
With Cozi Gold, you can set up to three reminders, which I am a fan of.
I often need to be reminded of something a day or two before, so that I can plan for it if I haven’t already.
Cozi Gold also offers a few other fun items, such as:
A birthday tracker
Shared contacts across multiple devices
Calendar search (ie, let the calendar find “Johnny’s baseball game” for you)
Schedule change notifications
Mobile app themes
Mobile month view
Cozi offers a “test drive”, 14-day free trial, of Cozi Gold.
If you like it, the cost is $29.99 for the entire year… and covers all users across every device.
The membership can be canceled at any time and will end at the end of the term.
Meal planning can be a lifesaver when it comes to feeding your family during the week.
Cozi Family Organizer vs. Those Other Guys
In truth, Cozi does share similar features with the other calendar apps out there…
But, Cozi Family Organizer is something entirely different.
It reminds you of important meetings, events, and activities.
It helps with the grocery shopping.
It helps with dinner planning.
It keeps track of your boss’s wife’s birthday.
It journals your precious family moments.
Basically… Cozi Family Organizer is akin to having a personal assistant on your desktop, laptop, tablet or phone.
Cozi’s basic version is free and still includes some pretty awesome stuff (like the meal planner, grocery and to-do lists and journal).
The gold version, which costs just about $2.50 per month, kicks it up a notch with the birthday reminders, calendar search and shared contacts… among other things.
So who are there other choices that can do what Cozi does?Do any of them come close?
Google made it possible for its users to seamlessly access their schedules from a desktop or mobile device.
And like Cozi, it also allowed users to view multiple color-coded calendars for each member of your family… so you could easily see who needed to be where and when.
The app also has a handy location feature, which syncs directly to google maps to provide directions.
And you can set multiple reminders (either alert, email or text notifications)
Other than that, it doesn’t have the added features that Cozi Family Organizer does.
For instance… if you want to save your photos, you would need to use the Google Photos app to do so.
But to be fair, Google Calendar is decent as a standalone calendar app… which is why Cozi Family Organizer has made it possible to sync it with their platform.
If you can’t beat them… join them.
Hub Family Organizer
So Hub is probably the closest thing on paper to the Cozi Family Organizer… it provides a shared calendar, grocery and to-do lists, shared photos and messages with other users.
Additionally, it allows direct posts and messages to other users without having to open your text app… something Cozi doesn’t do.
This is a particularly cool feature for co-parenting situations, when you don’t necessarily want to give your ex the ability to text you… that, or you just want to keep issues surrounding the kids separate from your personal life.
I didn’t find this feature particularly necessary for traditional families, though.
But that’s just my opinion.
There are a few key differences between Hub and Cozi worth noting:
Hub’s upgrade version costs $4.99 per month, whereas Cozi Gold’s $2.50 per month.
The Hub upgrade is necessary for syncing other calendars (like iCal and Google).
The free version places limits on lists and other basic uses.
Hub isn’t available for desktop, it is app-based only.
Wunderlist
Similar to Cozi Family Organizer… Wunderlist is available for iPhone, iPad, Android, Mac, Windows, Windows Phone, and the Web.
Wunderlist syncs to all devices.
It’s free.
But the similarities to Cozi stop there.
The biggest differences between the two:
Wunderlist does not offer a stand-alone calendar feature as Cozi does… it requires a link to an existing calendar in order to set it up.
Wunderlist operates more like a google or outlook doc program, than an organizer. It is list heavy (groceries, movies to watch, family, work, private), and encourages file sharing via dropbox. It also allows for comments and conversations within the documents.
Pro version is $49.99 per year (or $4.99 per month) for unlimited file and list sharing.
Basically, Wunderlist is best suited for users who are more interested in task sharing and to-do lists… than in sharing a calendar or schedule.
This isn’t what most business families need.
If I needed an app for communicating with co-workers, or a study group… I’d perhaps go with Wunderlist.
The free version still allows for file uploads up to 5MB and up to 25 tasks per shared list, with 25 subtasks each.
Getting Cozi with the Truth… My Final Take on Cozi Family Organizer
Whether you are an iPhone or Android user…. a mac or pc guy (or gal)… Cozi Family Organizer doesn’t care.
Cozi exists to make your life simpler by creating a seamless transition across the gamut of devices out there.
The calendar is super functional and as easy to use as it gets… and it works with your existing calendar, should you have attachment issues.
The to-do and grocery lists are a breeze… and offer all you need.
The journal is a lovely touch… making it a cinch to capture and share those important family moments, no matter how busy your day is.
And this is all free.
Completely free!
Conversely, the cost for a one-year subscription to avoid ads… as well as unlock a few bonus features, is less than a cup of that expensive coffee you treat yourself too daily.
So for me, the Cozi Family Organizer is a no-brainer.
There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.
Recent events around the world have resulted in families spending more time together than ever before.
Whether you’re working from home, virtual or home schooling, or simply “laying low”… you’ve been given the opportunity to slow down and enjoy each day. To live in the moment and appreciate the little things.
Some may call it a gift.
If you’re like me, you are grateful for this time with the kids. Time with your spouse. My children are very young and I know that in a blink, they will be grown. And I won’t get this time back.
On the flipside, there are days when I feel a bit stir crazy. Frustrated. Isolated.
You may as well… which is completely understandable.
If you’re struggling to find balance in your life and feel like you’re constantly juggling responsibilities, watch the video below. It provides an overview of the 4 burners theory and the five specific strategies you can use to implement this concept.
Whatever age your kids are, you may feel as if you are running out of things to do. Of ways to be creative and keep everyone happy.
If so, never fear!
In this article, I’m going to list 21 family bonding activities that everyone will enjoy. And the best part is, they can be altered to work for any age!
1. Family Movie Night
This is one of the classic family bonding activities. In fact, it’s become a weekly tradition in our house… sometimes we even sneak in two movie nights in one week. If you want to get everyone involved, you have a few choices:
Have everyone write their selection down on a piece of paper, fold it up and put it in a hat or bowl.
Have a behavior or chore chart and make “pick the movie” one of the rewards your kids can earn
Have everyone research their pick and take turns presenting their case for why it should be chosen. Then vote on it based on how convincing their argument was.
Roll A Dice. Highest number picks the movie. Caveat: the same person can’t select two movies in a row, so they are out until everyone has had a turn to pick.
The only rule with movie night is it has to be “family friendly” for everyone watching. Websites like common sense media are great resources when you’re trying to figure out the appropriate age for a film.
Once you’ve made your selection, make sure to have your favorite snacks on hand and enjoy the show!
2. Spontaneous Road Trip
Road trips can be awesome escapes. And the best part is, you can decide how much you’d like to spend and how long of a trip you want to take without much planning.
But what would make the classic road trip even better is if it were spontaneous! While you may want some idea of where you’re going, you don’t have to tell the kids a thing. In fact, you don’t even have to plan specific stops.
Simply tell them how to dress and what they may need… and get in the car.
Maybe you want to spend the day or an overnight at the beach? Pack the basics and just stop to eat, or stay over, at whatever looks good along the way.
It can be oddly liberating to have no real plans or anyplace special to go… which can also turn out to be some of the most amazing family memories you’ll ever make.
Be sure to bring your camera!
3. Board Game Night
Ever catch your family sitting around… staring at your phones, tablets or tv screens? Nobody is talking to one another, even though you are in the same room.
Some may consider this spending time together, but… news flash!
Being in close proximity doesn’t equate to family bonding. In fact, it’s just the opposite.
You are phubbing each other… otherwise known as snubbing one another by using your phone (or smart device) instead of engaging in actual conversation.
It’s a real addiction… and more of us are guilty of it than you’d think.
So why not step away from the screen for a little while with a good ol’ fashioned board game instead?
There is such a wide variety – from strategy to just plain silly – that you’re bound to find one that everyone will enjoy!
4. Arts and Crafts
Art can be extremely relaxing… whether it’s painting, drawing, coloring, sculpting. And the best part is, you don’t have to necessarily be talented to enjoy it.
There is no right or wrong when it comes to creating a work of art. It is always subjective.
By letting your creative juices flow, you are releasing stress and awakening a part of yourself you may have never known was there.
One of the easiest and least expensive family bonding activities is to have an arts and crafts night.
You can vote on a group project ahead of time, or choose to go at it alone. Then, just buy and share the supplies you will need.
If you’re at a loss for ideas, you can enroll in a live online art class… or scour pinterest for inspiration.
And if you want to make the night even more fun, try making your favorite finger foods and create a playlist to work to.
You can even judge everyone’s art at the end… and display the winner’s in a prominent place until the next time!
5. Family Video Game
Try as we might to deny it, video games are a part of many of our lives… and that’s ok.
Video games can be a welcomed distraction from reality. They can also improve hand/eye coordination, as well as critical thinking skills.
Plus, they’re fun!
So instead of fighting the urge to play, why not make it a family affair.
There are many multiplayer games available on all gaming systems. Categories include: adventure, sports, board games and trivia… among others.
6. Hiking, Nature
There is no greater food for the soul than a dose of fresh air.
Whether you are stressed, need to clear your head or looking for an energy boost… getting outside can be the perfect solution.
It’s also one of the best family bonding activities because it forces you to step away from technology… and let nature amaze and entertain you.
Getting outside can be the perfect solution when you and your family are looking for an energy boost.
You can choose to do a hike or a bike… kayaking or fishing… snowboarding or skiing… camping or glamping… picnicking or bird watching.
Even if you’ve never done something before, there is no time like the present to get out there and give it a try.
Your mind, and body, will thank you for it.
7. Play Your Own Version of 20 Questions
Life can sometimes leave us feeling as if our family is a bunch of ships passing in the night. Especially if you have older children.
Different schedules, deadlines and other obligations can often make it hard to connect with each other… to check in and see what’s new.
But making time for this is so important.
If there is no room for regular heart-to-hearts on your weekly agenda, then incorporating it into your family bonding activities may be the way to go.
And a personalized version of 20 Questions can be an effective and fun way to get it done.
Pick a time to play and put it on the family calendar. Then ask everyone to prepare 20 questions for each other beforehand. There should be a few questions for each person playing.
Make sure some of the questions are about their current mood and feelings, such as:
What’s one thing you’ve done in the last week that you’re proud of?
Has anyone disappointed you lately?
What is one thing you’d like to change about yourself?
If you could share one piece of gossip you’ve heard lately, what would that be?
Did you help anyone this week?
Did anyone make you feel bad this week?
And to keep it light, make sure to include some fun questions, such as:
If you woke up as an animal tomorrow, which would you hope to be?
If you could pick a new career, which would you choose?
If you were a color, which color would you be?
Finding a balance between “serious” and “silly” is a surefire way to make sure nothing falls through the cracks when it comes to keeping tabs on one another.
8. Watch Old Family Movies
One of the best gifts the technology gods have given our generation is the ability to upload, save and share videos using our computer or smart devices.
We are also able to upload home movies via HDMI recorders and cables directly to our television sets.
If you haven’t jumped on that bandwagon yet, a number of companies offer video transfer services for home movies that were once recorded on older formats (such as 8 or 16mm film, VHS or Mini DV).
Basically, there has never been a better time to host a home movie screening party.
You will laugh, and maybe even cry, over all the good times… which is a great reminder of the very meaning of family, and the unbreakable bond you share.
9. Look Through Old Photo Albums or Camera Rolls
If you’re like me, you likely have thousands of pictures of your family stored on your cell phone or in the cloud.
But why keep them there?
A fun activity is when the family looks through old photo albums or camera rolls.
Spend some time casting them to your television for everyone to watch. Or you can go old school and have them printed via an online service.
Then sequester the kids to help you fill a photo album.
10. Host a Karaoke night
You can try and deny it… but karaoke is fun!
Whether at a bar or a friend’s house, karaoke is a great way to let loose… not to mention one of the simplest family bonding activities to pull off at home.
Start off by having everybody contribute to a playlist.
You don’t necessarily need a karaoke machine for this, either. There are tons of options, thanks to cloud sharing, online streaming services and YouTube.
In fact, many karaoke versions of songs are available for on-demand viewing on YouTube.
11. Have a Dance Contest
Ever feel like you’ve got moves, but never have a chance to showcase them?
There is no better time like the present to engage your tribe in a family dance-off.
You can select your songs ahead of time… or give it a little twist by having your family select the song for you, last minute!
It’s a guaranteed laugh-fest if you’re game!
12. Play Hide and Seek
Who said hide and seek is just for small children?
In fact, the hiding spots and “scare factor” get even better as you get older. I promise.
So set a few boundaries and head outside for some adrenaline-induced fun!
13. Have a Friendly “Fight”
Water balloons.
Whipped cream.
Laser Tag.
Food fights.
Check your manners at the door for the night and have at each other… in a friendly battle of your choosing.
It’s a great and harmless way to get aggression out… and just unwind! And you’re likely to have plenty of laughs in the process!
14. Let the Kids “Drive”
If you have smaller children, chances are they will be thrilled with this family bonding activity.
Have your kids pile into the car and tell them they are “driving”.
While in reality they are not… they will be navigating.
Let your children tell you which way to go. Every turn to make and even if it means driving in circles!
Let them tell you which way to go. Every turn to make… even if it means driving in circles!
And if they say to stop someplace, just do it.
Who knows? You may stumble upon a new favorite location!
15. Turn Your Dining Room Into a Theme Restaurant
Who said you need to dine out to have fun?
Sure, it’s nice to have people wait on you and clean up afterwards… but it’s really about spending time together when it comes to family bonding activities.
Lucky for you, turning your dining room or kitchen into a theme restaurant is a cinch.
First, vote on your cuisine of choice.
Then shop for decorations and table settings to set the stage (this can be done online if you choose).
Finally, call your favorite restaurant and order take out or delivery.
And, voila!
Your theme restaurant is ready for business… and clean up will be minimal!
For added ambiance, play music (like songs about family love) in the background and have traditional beverages on hand for all to enjoy.
16. Go “Off The Grid” for a Weekend
When it comes to our cell phones, many of us like to make the excuse that we can’t be without them… in case of an emergency.
Well, that’s just not true.
The reality is that the people in our household are typically the most important people we’d want to keep in touch with… our spouses and our children.
So what if you were to venture out together and go “off the grid” for a weekend? Leave the cell phones home (or at least turned off).
If something happened, you’d be with each other.
And believe it or not, other people have phones you could borrow if you left yours behind. In fact, there are still landlines at local businesses that you can use in case of an emergency.
Crazy right?
If you can get past the initial shock of not checking your social media, texts or emails for a few days… I guarantee this will be one of the most liberating and relaxing family bonding activities you’ll ever embark upon.
17. Have a Cook-Off Competition
Does your family wish it had more time to cook homemade meals together?
It’s a nice thought, but in reality it’s not always easy… especially during the week. That would require planning.
Weekends, on the other hand, are a possibility.
While you may still have obligations on Saturday, they don’t typically go into the night. And Sundays have traditionally been lowkey for most of us… which makes it an opportune time for a family cook-off competition!
Agree on the menu at least a few days before, to allow yourselves time to shop for the ingredients.
Then come up with some rules – such as time limits, courses and ingredient usage.
You can all make the same dish or a variety. That’s up to you. Just make sure everyone has one of each course to present.
Bon appetit!
18. Have a Blindfold Food Tasting
If I had $1 dollar for every time one of my children told me they didn’t like something I was giving them to eat… I’d be rich!
Even more frustrating is when they won’t even try it before telling me they don’t like it.
So why not use that fussy behavior to create another family bonding activity?
Set aside one night for a blindfold dinner tasting.
Make whatever you’d like… whether it’s something your kids have never tried before, or something they have tried and claimed not to like.
Just be sure to mix in some things they do like, to keep things honest and your kids guessing.
Have them try and identify the food and award points for correct answers.
And if you get any pushback from the kids on this idea, tell them you’re willing to play as well… and let them pick your palette teasers!
19. Go Camping
Camping is a great way to leave the everyday distractions behind and connect with your family.
No phones, no internet, no tv.
Camping is a great way to leave the everyday distractions behind and connect with your family.
Let nature, and conversation with one another, entertain you… even if just for a little while.
If you’re thinking you’re not the “outdoorsy” or camping type, never fear. There are plenty of “glamping” sites to make your experience a bit less rugged.
Staying in a cabin will still allow you to enjoy the simplicity of camping, while offering a few of the cozy amenities of home… such as hot water showers, private bathrooms, a stove and beds.
Now matter how old I get… I still love a good scavenger hunt!
And I’ve wager many of you feel the same.
Think about it, there are businesses built around the very idea.
Ever hear of an Escape Room? The very idea is to lock yourself in a room with other people and try and solve clues to get out before time expires.
You can opt to take part in one of these with your family? Or you can simply create your own at home.
Assign a clue master and everyone else will be divided into teams. The first team to solve all of their clues wins! You can even invite other families if you’d like to make it more interesting.
21. Volunteer Together
As a mother… all I want is for my children to be happy, healthy and kind.
The latter is not something they are born with, but rather something that is taught.
We lead by example and our children follow. They mimic our behavior and attitude… whether we realize it or not.
That is why volunteering together is one of the greatest family bonding activities you can do.
Volunteering not only makes you feel good, but teaches your children gratitude and empathy.
You can easily find local opportunities through a church, local government office, school, social media or online via sites like volunteermatch.org.
Final Thoughts on Family Bonding Activities
Family is everything.
Sure, you may disagree at times… or find you need your space every now and again.
That’s normal.
But at the end of the day, your family serves as a support system. You build each other up… and are there for each other when you fall.
Family accepts us for who we are. They want to see us succeed and grow.
And in order to grow, the relationship needs to be tended to like a garden.
Family bonding activities are the perfect way to remain engaged and involved with each other, no matter how busy life gets.
It’s a way of putting family first and making sure you’re all moving in a positive direction.
Life may not always go as planned, and hard times are certain to affect us all… but if you make family time a priority, you’ll be on the same page when it comes to tackling things head on.
Together.
If you’re looking for more ideas, be sure to check out our other blog posts:
Nicole Krause has been writing both personally and professionally for over 20 years. She holds a dual B.A. in English and Film Studies. Her work has appeared in some of the country’s top publications, major news outlets, online publications, and blogs. As a happily married (and extremely busy) mother of four… her articles primarily focus on parenting, marriage, family, finance, organization, and product reviews.
There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.
With the start of summer just around the corner, many people’s thoughts turn towards taking a vacation or day trips.
Yes, summer is the time of year when things slow down for most of us… especially if you have kids.
School is out! This means less running around to various activities and a temporary moratorium on daunting homework that you can’t figure out… let alone your child.
If you don’t have kids, summer is still the perfect time to reconnect with your partner and unwind for a day or two.
The only downside to taking vacation is that it isn’t cheap (especially for a family).
Also, many places have travel restrictions in place nowadays that can make getting away feel like more of a headache than a break.
Trust me.
I am a mother to four young children.
So what do you do? Where do you go?
The answer?
“Staycation”!
And, lucky for you, I have some awesome staycation ideas for couples and families in search of some low key and low cost R&R.
So What is a Staycation?
A staycation, also sometimes referred to as a “holistay”, is defined as time spent at home that can involve day trips to local attractions.
No overnight accommodations required.
Now, before you get down on the idea… think about all of the possibilities. There are many upsides to a staycation, primarily:
Cost savings
Quality Time with Loved Ones
Little to No Travel Time
Less Stress
Easier to Plan
Weather Isn’t An Issue
No time constraints
If you’re struggling to assess your priorities and work-life balance, take a few minutes to watch teh video below and learn about teh four burners theory and how you can apply this in your life.
Now, if you’re starting to come around to the idea, keep reading… I’ve got some staycation ideas that just may tickle your fancy!
1. Visit a Theme Park
Theme parks can make for an epic day trip… with or without kids.
If you’re a thrill-seeker, or just enjoy feeling like a kid again, this is the staycation for you!
You can check out ride requirements and park details online ahead of time to avoid any surprises when you get there. You can purchase tickets in advance as well.
Also, most parks offer an additional “fast pass” to bypass long lines on the more popular rides. Think of it like making a reservation at a restaurant.
Finally, if the park is close enough, you may want to consider purchasing a season pass… which typically pays for itself after the second visit and is well worth the money if you’re planning to go back. It usually comes with perks, such as dining discounts and VIP events.
2. Tour a Historic Town or City District
Another fun way to spend a day is to tour a historic town, city district or village.
It’s easy enough to plan by spending some time on the internet… researching historic towns within a few hours driving distance from you.
There are usually quaint little shops and restaurants, adding to its charm.
And if you take the time to look, you may just stumble upon a trolley or duck boat tour… which can make for a really fun day that’s easy on the feet. It’s also great for older relatives who’d like to tag along!
Some of the larger US cities can be rich in history as well, if you’re not too far away.
3. Go to a Museum
If you have an interest in something… chances are there is a museum for it.
Museums are basically places to house big collections of things. Things like art, comic books, movie and sports paraphernalia, aircrafts, shoes.
Yes, I said shoes.
And what better way to spend the day than by surrounding yourself with things that fascinate you?
If the particular museum you seek isn’t within a day trip’s distance, fear not! Most museums host online tours and virtual exhibits now… and they are usually free!
4. Visit the Zoo
There is something so serene about a visit to the zoo.
Watching animals engage with one another, sleep, eat… give birth.
A trip to the zoo is a great way to learn about earth’s wild creatures, while also helping to sustain their species via ticket sales and member donations.
While some people may find zoos cruel, you can do your research and learn where the inhabitants came from… and why they were brought there. Many times you’ll see it was to rescue or rehabilitate them.
And as with the museum, if there isn’t a zoo close by, feel free to check out one of the online exhibits that many of the larger facilities offer. You may even find a continuous live feed, streaming your favorite animal all night long.
5. Hit the Beach for a Day
Sand between your toes.
The sound of waves crashing.
Seagulls flying overhead, searching for scaps.
Hunting for seashells and sand dollars.
Soaking up the sun.
Going to the beach for the day is one of the most classic staycation ideas of summer. In fact, it’s a must.
Even if you don’t live near an ocean, there are lakes and rivers that offer a similar experience.
Just pack a lunch and some beverages… and hit the road. And don’t forget the sunscreen!
6. Attend a Music Festival
In our household, we are big music fans! And nothing is better than listening to live music outdoors.
Whether it’s an evening concert under the stars, or a multi-day music festival in the park, my family is always on the lookout for this kind of entertainment.
Most festivals will charge admission, which covers the cost of the entertainers… amongst other things.
But it’s still likely less expensive than paying to stay someplace overnight.
Music festivals typically offer food trucks or stands and kids’ activities, which make them family friendly.
A quick search online will tell you about the music festivals coming to your area, so you can plan ahead.
Some towns also offer weekly, free music concerts during the summer… which may be worth checking out.
7. Watch a Movie Under the Stars or Host a Dive-In
Movies are typically big hits when it comes to staycation ideas… whether it’s an outdoor movie in the park or in your own backyard.
With today’s technology, it’s easy to stream movies directly from your smartphone, tablet or computer onto a big screen.
Or a wall.
Or garage door.
Or even onto a white sheet hanging in between two trees.
Get your blankets, comfy chairs and snacks and wait for dark!
If you have a pool, you can always host a dive-in. Bring out the floats and lounge chairs and enjoy the show.
8. Host a Backyard Carnival
Summer carnivals were always one of my favorite memories growing up.
The games, the sounds, the food.
So creating a backyard carnival seems like a great way to spend a family staycation.
Go online or hit the “dollar” store and load up on buckets, balloons, tennis balls, bean bags and plastic cups.
Ring toss, knock the cans, “go fish”, cornhole, water balloon toss and more… all the classic games. You can even award prizes!
For added authenticity, don’t forget the eats… such as cotton candy, popcorn and hotdogs.
You can also set up a photobooth and face painting area. Your kids are guaranteed to love it so much, they’ll want to invite friends next time.
9. Camp Out in the Backyard
Camping doesn’t necessarily have to involve a campsite or recreation area.
If your yard is big enough, or even if you have a large deck or patio… you can pitch a tent and camp out.
Camping out in the backyard is a good way to spend quality time with your family and have an enjoyable experience together.
Other supplies to have on hand include:
Sleeping bag or blankets and an air mattress
S’mores fixings
A fire pit or small grill
Lanterns or flashlights
Telescope or binoculars for stargazing
Board game, cards or a book to read
If it rains, don’t worry… you can always move the campout indoors.
All that matters is spending quality time together – distraction free. So put the cell phones away for the night!
10. Turn Your Yard Into a Splash Park
Cooling down in a pool, ocean, splash or water park is synonymous with summer fun!
The good news is, you don’t necessarily have to leave the house to enjoy it.
Turning your yard into a splash park is one of my kids’ favorite staycation ideas. Just set yourself up with the following essentials if you want to pull it off:
If you’re not feeling especially creative, or are lacking in DIY skills, never fear. You can always find inflatable water parks and other fun gadgets online… but some may cost more than a day at the actual water park.
11. Have a Magical Picnic
Picnics are always a good time… they also give us parents a break from kitchen duty.
But picnics don’t have to be just baskets and blankets. If you try hard enough, you can actually turn them into a themed adventure.
One of the best staycation ideas for a magical picnic came from a friend of mine, who transformed their yard into Alice in Wonderland’s garden for her daughter’s 5th birthday.
Whatever your child, or spouse, is interested in… if you can dream it, and have access to the internet, you can likely build it.
Transform your ordinary picnic into Tea at Buckingham Palace or finger sandwiches in a fairy garden… it’s the perfect way to escape from reality for a little while, without ever leaving home.
12. Take on a DIY Project
Reaching a goal that you set for yourself.
Or finally seeing one of your dreams come true.
Those feelings of accomplishment can be extremely rewarding… and seeing through a DIY project from start to finish is no exception.
Deciding to tackle a project on your own (or as a team) is one of those staycation ideas that kills two birds with one stone.
You will be taking a break from the norm to spend time doing something different
You will be saving money by doing it yourself
Whether it’s building a new patio, planting a garden, reupholstering furniture or replacing your kitchen cabinets and fixtures… no project is too small if it teaches you something.
13. Hold a Lawn Game Olympics
The Olympics are a wonderful tradition we get to enjoy every four years… but why wait?
Of all the staycation ideas, this is one of the easiest to pull off with just a little creativity and a healthy dose of good sportsmanship.
You can gather a group of friends and family and make it a team competition, with each team representing a country of their choosing. Or simply keep it small and have each person represent a different place.
Next, make it a point to serve food (or order takeout) from each country being represented. You’ll need fuel for the games!
Finally, it’s competition time!
Explain the challenges in detail and make everyone take a turn.
Some easy games include:
Hula Hoop obstacle course
Water balloon toss
Water bottle bowling
Wheelbarrow race
Three-legged or potato sack race
Bean bag toss or cornhole
Horseshoes
Discus throw
Hurdles (using pool noodles or PVC pipe)
Tug of War
Egg On A Spoon
If you want to get fancy, make a podium out of old milk crates and give our medals!
14. Explore Nature
Communing with nature is a powerful experience and a great way to relax.
Whether it’s going for a hike, fishing, a swim or bike ride… there are many ways to explore the world and creatures around us. Many of which don’t involve traveling very far.
There are many ways to explore the world and creatures around us whether it’s going for a hike, fishing, a swim or bike ride.
Find a state park, trails or nature preserve nearby.
Ride bikes along a towpath on the river.
Take your kayak into the ocean and jump off to snorkel around.
You can also stay home and explore your own backyard, which is especially great for younger kids.
Grab yourself a magnifying glass and bug catchers or mason jars. Use butterfly nets and bird feeders. Invest in a pair of binoculars.
See what you can catch and then observe it. Read about what you found. Take pictures and start a scrapbook of your collections.
It makes for both a fun and educational staycation for the whole family.
15. At-Home Spa Day
A spa day is one of my favorite treats.
Massage, mani/pedi, facial, wax, soak.
The cucumber water.
It is such a great way to unwind and destress.
It can also be expensive.
Creating a spa day at home is not only affordable, but easily doable.
It can also be extremely romantic to do with your partner.
Set up different rooms in your house for each service you want to provide there. Make sure to have relaxing music and suitable lighting, blankets, etc.
You can create a menu of services for authenticity… and even wear a special uniform when it’s your turn to treat your partner.
Final Thoughts on Staycation Ideas
In this article, we’ve given you 15 staycation ideas that can be done with very little effort and planning… if that is what you’re looking for.
They also happen to be budget friendly, as compared to multi day vacations.
The first six ideas are designed for those of you looking to take a little road trip, although there are still ways around that thanks to virtual experiences online.
The rest of the staycations ideas are designed to be done without leaving home, which makes them perfect for planning around inclement weather or last minute schedule changes.
It happens.
The main thing to remember is that staycations can be just what the doctor ordered when you crave a little break from reality and are looking to reconnect with your partner, family or friends.
You don’t need to go on a big trip to make big memories.
And if you’re looking for more resources to help you raise a family, here are some articles that might help:
Nicole Krause has been writing both personally and professionally for over 20 years. She holds a dual B.A. in English and Film Studies. Her work has appeared in some of the country’s top publications, major news outlets, online publications, and blogs. As a happily married (and extremely busy) mother of four… her articles primarily focus on parenting, marriage, family, finance, organization, and product reviews.
There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.
The concept of home has a different meaning for everyone.
For some, it is the place where they were born. Others define home as the place where they lived the longest. Still others call the place where they’re currently living “home.”
There are those who maintain that home is not actually a place but a person—typically someone they love or consider to be family.
For some people, home is not associated with a structure, geographic location, or person, but instead a feeling. This could be the feeling of being completely accepted, or being allowed to be vulnerable yet protected at the same time.
Regardless of how you define it, there may come a time when it becomes necessary to leave home. Then, in the great cycle of life, there will likely come a time when you’ll be making a homecoming.
In today’s article, we share a collection of songs about home to celebrate the place, person, or feeling closest to your heart.
Many of the hits featured today celebrate the place where we can be most vulnerable. There are several that evoke a sense of nostalgia. Some describe the pain of leaving the familiar, while others are about the excitement of coming home after being away for a long time.
Read on for a list of the best songs about home.
1. Home, Michael Bublé
“Another airplane, another sunny place. I’m lucky, I know. But I wanna go home… I gotta go home.”
This song expresses a person’s homesickness after being away for a long time.
It tells of the person’s pain that results from being separated from the familiar and comforting. The opportunities, fame, and fortune that come his way while overseas aren’t enough to console him in his loneliness.
2. Who Says You Can’t Go Home, Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles
“Who says you can’t go home? There’s only one place they call me one of their own. Just a hometown boy born a rolling stone. Who says you can’t go home?”
For some people, home is where they feel a sense of belonging. This song is about that feeling.
In this case, home is not necessarily the place where someone was born. Rather, it is the place where you are welcomed as family, whether you have blood ties there or not.
3. The House That Built Me, Miranda Lambert
“If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave. Won’t take nothin’ but a memory from the house that built me.”
This country song brings a feeling of nostalgia to those who have lived in different houses, towns, cities, and countries throughout their lives.
If you’ve already moved several times over the years, what place do you miss the most?
4. That’s What I Call Home, Blake Shelton
“Daddy don’t know a stranger. A handshake and he’s your friend. Oh, and Mama is an angel. She’ll hold you tight till the heartache ends. Just a place made of nails and wood. But it’s the love that makes you feel so good. That’s what I call, that’s what I call home.”
Here is another country song that makes listeners feel nostalgic for those carefree moments during childhood and those places where everyone looks out for each other.
Add this to your playlist if you resonate with the longing for a place where you are loved and accepted unconditionally.
5. Life of Leaving Home, Yellowcard
“I am awake and alive, there is something calling me. More than a moment in time, it’s a dream I’m following on my own… More than a moment in time, it’s a life of leaving home.”
People who arein pursuit of their dreams sometimes find that the home environment they are in makes it impossible to achieve what they want. The only way for them to be able to soar is to leave home.
If you find yourself in this situation, this song from Yellowcard might be a good addition to your playlist as you prepare to leave home and everything that’s familiar tostart fulfilling your vision.
6. Never Ready to Leave, Sherwood
“And I’ll tell you the worst part: You’re exactly the way that I thought you would be. So I’ll stay for the last call. ‘Cause I’ll move away, but I’m never ready to leave.”
While some people are excited to leave home and embrace the possibilities that come with their newfound independence, some are hesitant and even scared to venture out and make it on their own.
This song is about that reluctance to leave what’s familiar and comforting.
We hope those who are reluctant to leave home when it’s time to do so will eventually find the motivation to set out on their own and grow.
7. Coming Home Pt. II, Skylar Grey
“I’m coming home… Tell the world I’m coming home. Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday. I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes. I’m coming home… Tell the world I’m coming.”
People leave home for various reasons, such as a job offer in another city, the search for independence, or even a conflict.
When you leave home because of a negative experience or conflict, the tone of your homecoming will depend on whether peace has been restored between the people involved.
For some, the time away might feel like an exile. This song has a hopeful message for those who are away from home and hoping for a peaceful and joyous homecoming.
8. Almost Home, Mariah Carey
“When you let your heart be the compass, you won’t get lost, not if you trust it. When you hear the sound of the trumpet, louder than ever before, when you’re almost there. Almost home. Just open up your eyes and go, go. ‘Cause you’re almost there.”
We’ve all heard the adage, “Home is where the heart is.”
This song assures listeners that they will never be lost if they let their hearts guide them. They will always know how to find their way back home.
9. Home, Daughtry
“Well, I’m going home, back to the place where I belong. And where your love has always been enough for me. I’m not running from, no, you got me all wrong. I don’t regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old. So, I’m going home. Well, I’m going home.”
Success can sometimes bring us to unfamiliar places and situations. Going through these experiences can be disconcerting, but having something familiar to center you can be a source of comfort and strength.
This is the message of this song from Chris Daughtry, whose stint at American Idol propelled him to success. Despite his success, he longed for the sense of belonging that one can only get at home.
10. Homeward Bound, Simon & Garfunkel
“Homeward bound. I wish I was homeward bound. Home, where my thoughts escapin’. Home, where my music’s playin’. Home, where my love lies waitin’ silently for me.”
Here is another song that expresses a longing for the familiar and comforting. Success can often be lonely, and the dynamic duo of Simon & Garfunkel must have felt this as they toured around the world during the height of their fame.
They surely longed for home, for being with the people who truly knew and loved them.
11. She’s Leaving Home, The Beatles
“She (we gave her most of our lives). Is leaving (sacrificed most of our lives). Home (we gave her everything money could buy).”
In this song, a girl has had enough with home and not receiving the love and affection she needed there. She decides to leave and carve her own path through life.
This is a sad reason for leaving home, but The Beatles were able to tell a beautiful, cleverly written song with this story.
12. Hometown Glory, Adele
“Round my hometown, memories are fresh. ‘Round my hometown, ooh, the people I’ve met are the wonders of my world… Are the wonders of this world. Are the wonders of now.”
Memories often come flooding back when you return to your hometown after several years away.
Each spot around town probably has a significant memory for you, whether a sweet or bitter one.
This song talks about those memories that anchor you to that one place in the world where you truly belong.
13. I Feel Home, O. A. R.
“Well, I’ve been away but now I’m back today. And there ain’t a place I’d rather go. I feel home when I see the faces that remember my own. I feel home when I’m chillin’ outside with the people I know.”
Many of us are in search of that special place where we can put down roots and have a place to call home.
For those who have already found that place, their decision to settle there might have been influenced by how the members of the community made them feel.
In this song, that sense of belonging is described as seeing faces that recognize you, even after being away for some time. Do you have a special place that you call home?
14. It’s Time to Go, Taylor Swift
“That old familiar body ache, the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul. You know when it’s time to go.”
We mentioned earlier that the concept of home is not limited to a place. It can be a person, too.
This song is about leaving a relationship with someone you may have considered “home.”
The relationship might have been wonderful at first, but as time passedtoxic personalities may have been unmasked.
It’s time to go. Perhaps it’s time to build a new home with someone else.
15. Home Again, Michael Kiwanuka
“Home again… One day I know I’ll feel home again… One day I know I’ll feel strong again.”
Home is not necessarily a structure, a place, or even a person. It can also be a feeling.
Michael Kiwanuka expressed this wonderfully when he explained the meaning of his song in an interview in Q magazine:
“It’s about comfort and peace. Home is where you’re most yourself – you don’t have many inhibitions, you just feel free to be who you are. The song is about getting back to that….”
16. Caledonia, Dougie MacLean
“Oh, but let me tell you that I love you. That I think about you all the time. Caledonia, you’re calling me. And now I’m going home. If I should become a stranger, you know that would make me more than sad. Caledonia’s been everything I’ve ever had.”
Quick trivia: Historically, Caledonia was the old name for the area in north Great Britain that currently includes Scotland.
Scottish singer-songwriter Dougie MacLean wrote this song as an ode to his homeland. Obviously he was terribly homesick when this song was written.
The song has become the country’s unofficial national anthem and is sung at various cultural events.
17. Take Me Home, Country Roads, John Denver
“Country roads, take me home to the place I belong. West Virginia, mountain mama. Take me home, country roads.”
This song is about homesickness and nostalgia, but this time it’s for a home state instead of a country.
John Denver’s song is so powerful that it spawned numerous memes in recent years, with people posting about missing West Virginia even though they’ve never set foot there.
18. Missing Home, Flora Cash
“Been a lot of hard days and been a lot of long nights. And even though I love the road, I’m missing home somehow.”
This song was written after duo Flora Cash experienced an extreme bout of homesickness. They were away from family and friends, pursuing their dreams of making it big in the music scene.
This song gave them comfort. For listeners, it is a reminder to have faith in their dreams and believe that, as Flora Cash said, “…we can make ‘home’ wherever we happen to be.”
19. Come Home, OneRepublic
“So, I say to you come home, come home. ‘Cause I’ve been waiting for ya for so long… And right now there is a war between the vanities. But all I see is you and me. And the fight for you is all I’ve ever known. So come home.”
This song is about leaving home, from the perspective of the one left behind.
How do you cope with a loved one who’s left home?
What will you do while waiting for them to return?
Finally, if you could turn back time, would you allow them to leave in the first place?
20. Castle on the Hill, Ed Sheeran
“Found my heart and broke it here. Made friends and lost them through the years. And I’ve not seen the roaring fields in so long. I know I’ve grown, but I can’t wait to go home.”
Here is a song that makes you nostalgic for your childhood. If you need a song to help jog your memory about “the good old days,” add this to your playlist and find yourself transported to the past.
21. Empire State of Mind, Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys
“In New York, concrete jungles where dreams are made of. There’s nothing you can’t do. Now you’re in New York. These streets will make you feel brand new. Big lights will inspire you. Hear it for New York.”
When you consider a place your hometown, you feel a certain pride about its features and anything associated with it. This song celebrates New York City as the place where dreams have the chance of coming true.
22. Home, Phillip Phillips
“Just know you’re not alone. ‘Cause I’m gonna make this place your home.”
The feeling of home holds a power that can heal, comfort, energize, and rejuvenate you. When you listen to this song, you can’t help but feel this power.
It makes you look forward to all the good things that you can experience at home. The song also opens the doorway to happy memories.
23. My Love, Westlife
“So I say a little prayer and hope my dreams will take me there. Where the skies are blue. To see you once again, my love. Overseas, from coast to coast. To find a place I love the most. Where the fields are green. To see you once again, my love.”
Similar to Caledonia, this song from Westlife has often been interpreted as an ode to their homeland.
The members of the group are all from Ireland, and the song is their declaration that the miss the place they love and are looking forward to seeing it once more.
24. Welcome to New York, Taylor Swift
“Walkin’ through the crowd the village is a-glow. Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats under coats. Everybody here wanted somethin’ more. Searchin’ for a sound we hadn’t heard before. And it said, “Welcome to New York! It’s been waiting for you.””
This is the second song in this collection dedicated to New York City. Delivered in an upbeat style, the song’s cheery melody gives hope to those wanting to make the city their home.
25. Don’t Forget Where You Belong, One Direction
“Been a lot of places. I’ve been around the world. Seen a lot of faces. Never knowing where I was on the horizon. Umm, well I know… the sun will be rising back home.”
The final song in this collection is about someone who has risen to fame, met many people, and had a lot of amazing experiences. But despite all of this, his thoughts wander back to the place he calls home.
Each experience he has is juxtaposed with what would be happening in his hometown.
His memory of home is an assurance that there is a place where he truly belongs.
Final Thoughts on Songs About Home
There you have it—songs that have the power to make you to think about home. What is your favorite from the ones included in this collection?
We all have different experiences and definitions of home. Ultimately, it is that which has made the greatest contribution to who we are today.
If you loved today’s compilation of songs about home, you might also be interested in other song collections found in the following posts:
There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.
One of the hardest things to do is take a good look at yourself in the mirror and admit your flaws… not just physical imperfections, but personality glitches.
And whether you think so or not, you are likely annoying those closest to you with these traits… and chances are, they’re too afraid to tell you.
But their silence is doing you no favors.
In this article, we’re going to offer 7 easy-to-execute and somewhat subtle tips for how to be less annoying.
Believe me, you’ll thank me for it. And so will your friends and family.
7 Tips on How to Be Less Annoying
Tip #1: Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment.
Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress.
On the surface, mindfulness differs from mediation in that it’s less about relaxation and more about self awareness. However, they do compliment one another.
If you are able to quiet your mind and get to the root of your feelings, you may stumble upon why you sometimes act the way that you do.
For instance, maybe you are overbearing with your kids because you feel as if you’re constantly being watched at work?
Without mindfulness, you wouldn’t be able to make that connection and ultimately get to the root of your behavior.
Looking for more mindfulness ideas? Watch the video below for the 7 morning routine ideas that can help you become more mindful on a daily basis.
Tip #2: Seek Constructive Feedback from Those You Trust
There are times when we find ourselves too close to something or someone to see clearly and objectively.
When that happens, you need to step away and try and change your vantage point.
The same goes for taking a look at yourself.
If you’re trying to figure out how to be less annoying, it can be helpful to turn to another set of eyes, or ears, for advice.
Someone who knows you well and will tell you the truth, in a tactful and meaningful way.
To be clear, you’re seeking constructive criticism that is positive… not damaging. That means that if this person can’t help you see the error of your ways, or provide you with helpful feedback without making you feel bad, they may not be the best person to ask.
You are not looking to feel worse about yourself here, but rather find your best self.
There is a difference.
Also, before you ask a family member or friend to offer you their insight… be sure you’re prepared to handle whatever it is they may say.
It’s not always easy to hear that your behavior or personality is less than ideal in some way; however, handling that constructive feedback with grace and gratitude is a step in the right direction towards changing the way others perceive you.
Tip #3: Become an Observer of Other People’s Body Language
So when it comes to gauging whether or not you are annoying someone, it can be helpful to pay attention to their body language.
Without even realizing, people have “tells” when they are nervous or uncomfortable.
We can fancy ourselves as being cool as a cucumber when someone is annoying by trying not to react… yet not reacting can say even more than words.
When someone finds you annoying, there may be a tendency for them to avoid eye contact. Their body may tense up. They may walk in circles or pace back and forth.
These are just examples of things you can look for when trying to figure out how to be less annoying.
Words may not always tell you everything because people are often careful with them… as to avoid conflict.
But the body’s non verbal communication can speak volumes.
Tip #4: Keep a Diary
If you are in the proper headspace, and willing to look inside yourself, it may be helpful to pay a visit to your dear ol’ diary.
If you are in the proper headspace, and willing to look inside yourself, it may be helpful to pay a visit to your dear ol’ diary.
Journaling can be a therapeutic and non-threatening way to sort through your feelings.
It may also be helpful in detecting patterns or triggers for why you behave the way that you do.
Let’s say your husband finds your nail biting habit annoying… rather than try and quit cold turkey with disgusting tasting nail polishes or pepper under the fingernails, why not instead look for clues as to why you’re engaging in the bad habit.
Journaling may provide the answer.
Suddenly, you notice the nail biting is worse on the days when you have weekly staff meetings with your boss.
And before your son’s wrestling match.
When your husband has to travel for work.
While these are hypotheticals, the process is sound.
Writing down your feelings will be helpful when it comes to analyzing your reaction to those feelings. Keeping a journal will paint a visual picture with words as to what sets certain behaviors in motion.
Tip #5: Question Your Beliefs and Assumptions
If you want to figure out how to be less annoying, you may be required to “check yourself” from time to time.
Basically, you can’t always be right.
And there is rarely room for the “my way or the highway” mentality in a healthy relationship.
You may have different points of view on politics, religion, gender equality, marriage, workplace philosophies, childrearing… etc.
But the second you aren’t able or willing to open your mind to other people’s viewpoints is the very moment you risk becoming annoying.
People do not want to be around someone who doesn’t understand logic or compromise.
The art of patience.
You often need to look at both sides of the coin in order to see where your beliefs are stemming from. Then you can decide whether or not your points of view are based in anything substantial enough for you to be unwavering.
Tip #6: Make “Me Time” a Priority
Many things can have an effect on a person’s mood.
This means that It’s not always another person causing you to behave the way you do.
If you want a quick fix for how to be less annoying… you need to be selfless from time to time.
That is not to say you should become a people-pleasing pushover and always put your thoughts and ideas on the backburner.
And you certainly don’t want to try and be everyone’s best friend by being overly agreeable.
But it is meant to create pause before you speak and act.
For instance, if you give your husband a hard time whenever he wants to go out for a beer with his friends and leave you home with the kids… he will likely find it annoying and perhaps even resent you.
Conversely, if you come to an agreement to each spend a few hours apart each month… you’ll now be seen as the cool and understanding wife.
As a bonus, you’ll get yourself some of that “me time” that is so important… whether it’s a massage for yourself or lunch out with a girlfriend.
Selflessness and compromise go a long way when you’re trying to be less annoying.
Pick your battles and you’ll come out on top.
Final Thoughts on How to Be Less Annoying
I have never met a single person who admitted they were annoying.
The fact of that matter is, most of us don’t realize we are being annoying… until someone painfully points it out. That or else we start to see them distancing themselves from us.
Neither is good.
The best thing you can do is this.
First, acknowledge that you are not perfect. That we all have annoying qualities, characteristics or behaviors.
Then, put one or more of the actionable steps outlined here in place… so that you can either prevent or stop yourself from becoming annoying.
If you can do these things, you’ll not only become a more likeable person to others, but to yourself as well.
And loving yourself can open doors to true happiness… mentally, physically, emotionally and socially.
Nicole Krause has been writing both personally and professionally for over 20 years. She holds a dual B.A. in English and Film Studies. Her work has appeared in some of the country’s top publications, major news outlets, online publications, and blogs. As a happily married (and extremely busy) mother of four… her articles primarily focus on parenting, marriage, family, finance, organization, and product reviews.
