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  • How to Create a Relationship with Anyone You Meet | Entrepreneur

    How to Create a Relationship with Anyone You Meet | Entrepreneur

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    As a business owner, one of the most powerful resources you can build is a network. The stronger your relationships with people around you, both inside and outside of your field, the more opportunities you’ll have.

    Life becomes truly powerful when you understand this concept. Connections are what allow you to get anywhere in business. You can’t navigate the world solo, and the stronger your net of relationships is, the easier life will become. They are your biggest piece of leverage.

    When you meet someone new, there are two possible reasons for doing so: You need them to help change your life, or they need you to help change theirs. Those changes can be major or minor, but they are always important. Every interaction has the potential to have a lasting impact on either you or them. So, when it comes to building relationships, it’s important to keep a sense of curiosity about the other person to determine how each of you may be able to assist the other. Then be as generous as you can with your time, resources and knowledge.

    The benefits that come to you as a result of these efforts not be immediately apparent, but trust me: They pay back in multiple ways — perhaps soon, perhaps at some point in the more distant future. So, mentor generously, and give generously. Be curious about people… listen to them — all will make people remember you and say positive things about you.

    Whether or not relationship-building comes naturally, just about everyone could learn to do it better. One trick to finding out how you can help each other is asking thoughtful questions. These are the foundation of communication and are the method through which you control a conversation and build connections.

    When you meet someone new, here are a few things to keep in mind to ask excellent questions.

    1. Express care to establish trust

    To create any kind of connection, trust is necessary. You cannot have open communication without some level of it, and the key to establishing trust quickly is expressing care. That often means engaging in small talk, which plays an important function in relationship building: It gives us safe ground on which to learn about each other and helps determine whether we want to continue a discourse.

    Communication, of course, requires an exchange of information, and it’s important to do so with relatively equal sensitivity, and participation. If you give away something extremely personal too early on, for example, it can make a conversation partner uncomfortable. This can be applied the other way around, too: someone might divulge something personal early on to project vulnerability. Be careful when this happens, because without doing the groundwork of establishing trust, interconnections built too quickly easily fall apart.

    Instead, find points you have in common and offer information that’s personal, but not overly revealing. It’s also important to express that you care about the other person’s comfort by being nonjudgmental.

    Related: If You Want Your Clients to Truly Value You, You Need to Be Their Trusted Advisor. Here’s How.

    2. Learn what’s important to people, and what stands in their way

    After you’ve established trust, things can begin to deepen. At this point, the best questions will help identify what’s important to someone, including what their pain points or problems are. Ask about their goals, plans and perhaps (to a degree) about their personal life. Pay attention to displayed energy: What do they focus on? What makes their eyes light up or what do they go on about at length? By paying attention to verbal cues and body language, it’s easier to grasp the essentials.

    When you’ve identified what’s important to someone and the problem they need to solve, you’ll begin to see areas where you may be able to help, or how they may be able to help you. Remember, in this process, that you must offer something in exchange, and without overly drawing the conversation toward yourself. Perhaps what you can offer, for example, is simply information, and/or connecting them with someone in your network.

    Related: How to Meet Customers At Their Pain Points

    3. Embrace curiosity

    There is always something you can learn from every person, and you’ll gain the most out of every interaction by simply being curious. This requires a sense of humility, but by focusing on others rather than yourself, you’ll build connections more quickly and learn more than you thought possible.

    4. Keep asking questions, even when you think you know the responses

    Oddly enough, people who think they have all the necessary information are often those who know the least. By continuously asking questions, even when you think you know the answers, you’ll dig deeper into topics and find underlying motivations, problems and other factors at play in any situation. The takeaway will be arriving at solutions you never would have thought of otherwise.

    When you learn what motivates someone, it gives you the unique power to steer a conversation more easily. While questions may focus the conversation on your partner, they also put you in the driver’s seat — giving you the chance to steer the topics.

    Related: The 4 Keys to Asking Better Questions

    5. Give information and help generously

    Through asking great questions, you’ll be able to internalize the problems, interests and motivations of those around you, but don’t stop there. Offer help whenever you can, and think of ways of connecting a new contact with other people in your network. By doing this consistently — being open, curious and generous — you’ll become known as a helpful and kind individual, and people remember that.

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    Jason Hennessey

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  • 3 Ways to Rewire Your Brain to Make More Money

    3 Ways to Rewire Your Brain to Make More Money

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions?

    “Why can’t I earn more?”

    “Why does it seem as though less capable people wind up making so much money?”

    “Why do I feel stuck?”

    I’ve been asking myself an associated question lately: “How do I help my high-performing, highly capable entrepreneur friends break through their money-making and self-improvement barriers?” It simply amazes me how often I see creative and hard-working friends struggle to generate the kind of income they are deserving of.

    So I tasked myself to help and came up with actionable pieces of advice that not only identify problems but offer ways onward and upward.

    Fortunately, I’ve got a good friend who specializes in addressing these types of issues. Dr. Alok Trivedi (also known as “Dr. Rewire“) has spent the last 27 years of his professional life studying the deep connections between human minds’ “wiring” and personal performance. He’s identified no fewer than 92 scientifically backed techniques to help, quite literally, rewire the brain to become the best version of yourself.

    Here are a few I considered particularly pivotal in addressing the divide between abilities and success.

    Related: The Best Entrepreneurs Are Experts at Self-Improvement. Here’s How to Master That Skill.

    1. Go to the source of money-making problems

    You have likely heard a “villain origin story,” that trajectory-defining point in the life of a wrongdoer that put them on that path. Well, those of us who struggle with making money often have a negative story of our own.

    Dr. Trivedi explains: “Most individuals’ brains have default wiring that needs to be overcome to find greater success. This typically comes from earlier in our lives (it may be a moment or a string of moments) that created a pattern (or patterns) that ultimately becomes our behavior. Sometimes, this default wiring has created fear, paranoia, anxiety and/or chaos. Perhaps it was a divorce. Maybe it was bankruptcy or the way we were raised. Whatever the case, this wiring has resulted in an emotion, typically one of resentment, which plays out as our primary expression towards money. Because of this resentment, we’ll push away deals, opportunities or work, thus creating a money-making barrier.”

    Trivedi adds that the best way to know if you have such default wiring is to analyze your feelings and circumstances. Do you feel stuck? Have you hit an income plateau? Do you fear the future? These are all dynamics that need to be taken seriously, and once they are recognized, it’s vital to search for related past experiences. Typically, you can identify these on your own, though it may be wise to seek out a professional’s assistance.

    Related: Show Me the Money. The 4 Principles of Success and Wealth Accumulation

    2. Find clarity

    Once you’ve identified what’s created negative wiring, it’s time to confront it. While this can create uncomfortable feelings, that step is critical to begin the process of change.

    “Once we’ve identified [that] source, it’s time to get clarity,” Trivedi says, “and we get that by looking at both sides of the experience, positive and negative. We must ask ourselves these questions: What negative feelings have I been holding onto as a result of this experience? How [has] this resentment actually helped me grow in life (if at all)? What good may have come from it? It’s incredibly important to realize that these experiences can be just as much a good thing as bad.”

    If we can examine past events in this way, from both sides, we give ourselves perspective, which is a key element in helping our brains rise above emotions — detaching them from the fallout of experience.

    Related: How to Develop Mental Resilience for Greater Success

    3. Gratitude leads to action

    This step may seem odd initially (it did to me at first), but a powerful question to consider is, “Should I feel gratitude for these sources of resentment?” The more I understood the power of gratitude, the more I appreciated it as a catalyst that allows us to move on to money-making goals.

    “Finding gratitude quite literally changes our DNA,” Trivedi says. “It begins with our emotions, which are freed from whatever negative pattern they’ve been in — but only once we find and feel gratitude. This changes our beliefs — moving our brains out of the amygdala (fight-or-flight center) and reconnecting them to the executive center of the brain. The moment this happens, a switch flips and organization occurs: We begin planning, creating and changing. The future suddenly looks bright, and we understand what path we need to walk to get there.”

    This is the beautiful process, Trivedi adds, of rewiring the brain through integration. Once this is done successfully, old patterns end, and new ones start. And, hopefully, your new pattern will be one of creativity, wealth creation and ceiling-shattering.

    Related: Why Gratitude Makes Leaders More Effective

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    Randy Garn

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  • How Much Does an Oil Change Cost? That Depends.

    How Much Does an Oil Change Cost? That Depends.

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    Keeping your car maintained and working well is crucial to saving money in the long run. After all, if you don’t take your car into the shop from time to time, it’ll eventually break down and require much more costly fixes — or a replacement.

    One of the most important regular maintenance tasks is changing your car’s oil. But if you’ve never done this before, you might wonder how much an oil change costs. Read on for the answer to this question and more.

    Why do you need to change your vehicle’s oil?

    Simply put, the oil for your vehicle’s engine is a lubricant that prevents all metallic and mechanical parts from grinding against one another, causing corrosion, damage and malfunctions. Without engine oil, your vehicle wouldn’t run very smoothly, if at all.

    However, your engine oil gradually accumulates debris, grit, dirt and other bits of matter. Furthermore, your engine oil loses some of its lubricity or its state of slipperiness. This can accelerate wear and tear on the internal components of your engines.

    When you replace your vehicle’s oil, the fresh oil minimizes friction and allows all the mechanical parts inside the engine to spin around without issues. In addition, new oil helps fuel economy by allowing your vehicle to run more efficiently (thus expending less gasoline per mile driven).

    So, in summary, you must change your vehicle’s oil regularly to avoid engine wear and tear and ensure your vehicle runs as smoothly as possible. It’s about car care, engine protection and a healthy automotive maintenance schedule.

    What does an oil change service include?

    An oil change service may include a variety of specific actions or services depending on who you hire and what’s involved.

    At a bare minimum, an oil change involves:

    • Removing the drain plug from the bottom of your vehicle’s oil pan.
    • Allowing gravity to drain oil completely into another pan called a catch pan. This old oil is then discarded in a legal, environmentally safe way.
    • Replacing the drain plug.
    • Changing the oil filter.
    • Replacing the old oil with new oil. The majority of car engines take about 5 quarts of oil.

    As you can see, a conventional oil change service is relatively straightforward. That said, it’s not a good idea to do this crucial maintenance task if you are unprepared for it or if you don’t have any experience.

    Related: Automotive Repair & Maintenance Services Franchises

    How much is an oil change?

    There’s no universal price for an oil change service. Your oil change will typically cost anywhere between $30 to $100 if you take it into a lubricant shop or a car dealership. Alternatively, it will typically cost anywhere between $30 and $50 if you change your oil yourself.

    Generally, the higher cost of an oil change will come from a higher cost of labor (which is dependent on where you live), differences in filter quality and any additional services being performed (tire rotation, etc.). For the most part, oil costs won’t differ between locations for the same vehicle.

    Factors that affect oil change cost

    The price of an oil change can vary depending on several important factors:

    Oil type

    First, the type of oil used will affect how much it costs to change your oil, whether you take it to an expert or do it yourself.

    There are two basic types of oil used for most oil changes:

    • Conventional oil is standard and more affordable but is more common for older vehicles. It’s the traditional type of oil used to lubricate engines and mechanical components.
    • Synthetic oil is required by most modern vehicles and is more expensive. A synthetic blend oil is typically seen as better than conventional motor oil because it is specially formulated to improve lubricity and engine quality over time. You can get a full synthetic oil change at most service centers, and it’s also included in many car warranties.

    If your car does not explicitly require synthetic oil, you can pick between them when you take your vehicle into the shop or change your oil personally.

    Synthetic oil is almost always better for your car, however. It wears down your engine less harshly and lasts longer. Therefore, depending on how often you need your oil changed in the first place, paying a little extra for synthetic oil could save you more money in aggregate.

    The most significant price difference between conventional and synthetic high-mileage oil is about $32, so it doesn’t break the bank. What should you do? Go synthetic whenever possible, and read your vehicle’s owner’s manual to know which type of oil your car needs.

    Car type

    Vehicle type can also impact the cost of an oil change. Some vehicle models require a specific type of oil to be used, such as a particular brand of synthetic oil. This is more frequent with luxury vehicles.

    In addition, your car type can impact how much oil you need for a full oil change. For instance, a large truck that drives hundreds of miles daily will need much more oil per change than a small sedan that only goes a few miles daily.

    Location

    Lastly, the location where you get your oil changed can impact its cost. If you live in a more expensive area, an oil change will also be more significant since the car dealership or lube shop service has to pay more for its rent and related costs.

    Note that if you change your oil yourself, location is unlikely to affect the overall price you’ll pay.

    Quick lube shops vs. dealerships

    When you need professional help to change your oil (recommended if you don’t have any experience doing this), you have two options: Take your car to a lube shop or a dealership.

    A dealership may know more about your vehicle’s make or model, mainly if you take it to a dealership for your vehicle’s brand. Therefore, it could be wise to take your car to the dealership to get its oil changed.

    As a side benefit, the dealership can look at other aspects of your car and tell you whether you need to change your tires or other replacement parts. It may be wise to go to the dealership for a biannual checkup on the health of your vehicle in general.

    In contrast, a quick lube shop might be a more cost-effective, fast solution. You can find quick lube shops in most major metropolitan areas; some are even mobile.

    These don’t specialize in any specific type of vehicle, but they can change your car’s oil in a matter of minutes if you come at the right time.

    A quick lube shop might be the best solution if you need your oil changed more frequently due to long commutes or other factors. Many quick lube shops also sell the right oil you need for your vehicle, but you should call ahead to check just to be sure.

    How often should you change your oil?

    That depends on the make and model of your vehicle, as well as the type of oil you have. Generally, better oil varieties allow you to change your oil less frequently. But it’s still a good idea to change your oil after about 5,000 to 7,000 miles, depending on your vehicle’s manufacturer recommendations.

    You should get your oil changed twice yearly, assuming you drive your car daily. If you drive your vehicle many miles daily, you’ll need the oil changed more frequently.

    When in doubt, speak to the local dealership or oil change expert you hired to do this service. Based on the oil they provide and the make and model of your vehicle, they should know how often you need to change your oil to prevent significant issues.

    How to lower the cost of an oil change

    Although an oil change shouldn’t be too much of a burden on your wallet, you can lower the cost of that oil change with a few smart tips and strategies.

    Firstly, look up coupons or discounts in your local area, particularly if you just need an oil change and don’t need all the bells and whistles from a related car maintenance service. If a quick lube shop has a discount, you can visit that shop and get your oil changed on the cheap.

    Secondly, look into learning how to change your oil yourself. Knowing how to change your oil is an important life skill and will help you get back on the road if your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere.

    Furthermore, it’s not very difficult; once you learn how to do it, you can save yourself $50 or more by changing your own oil instead of taking your car to a shop or dealership.

    Related: Startup Helps Fend Off Car Repair Ripoffs

    Thirdly, take care of your vehicle in general. If you run your vehicle all the time or don’t take care of it, the oil will need to be changed more frequently.

    But if you take care of your vehicle, get it inspected by a maintenance technician regularly, and practice good driving habits, your oil will only need to be changed once in a while, saving you money.

    Summary

    Ultimately, an oil change will cost you anywhere from $20-$100 or more, depending on the quality you expect, the type of oil you need, and a handful of other factors.

    Even if it is an inconvenient expense, get your car’s oil changed when needed; otherwise, you’ll set your car up for a more expensive fix later down the road.

    Looking for more informational articles like this? Explore Entrepreneur’s other resources here

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    Entrepreneur Staff

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  • A Simple Brain Trick To Guarantee Success

    A Simple Brain Trick To Guarantee Success

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    As entrepreneurs, most of us are goal-driven, and we’ve learned how to set clear, juicy goals and then break them down into game plans of smaller projects and tasks. The challenge comes when it’s time for you and your team actually to follow those game plans.

    After the thrill of setting that awesome goal comes the day-to-day work that is often not so exciting. So how do you keep yourself and your team moving forward? How can you stay on track and consistently hit your daily, weekly and quarterly goals? One of the answers is in the simple brain hack that psychologists call “implementation intention.”

    Related: Brain Hacks to Boost Motivation and Beat the Work From Home Blues

    What the research shows

    A psychology professor at NY University, Peter Gollwitzer, first coined the term in the 1990s. He realized that many people set goals, but not many achieved them because they didn’t take the action they needed to take. Dr. Gollwitzer showed that the difference was not just motivation, as some people were highly motivated and still didn’t do what they needed to do. But people were much more likely to reach their goals by figuring out “pre-determined goal-directed behaviors” and turning them into habits.

    Rather than just coming up with a strategy to achieve a goal and then breaking it down into tasks, Dr. Gollwitzer found that people were more likely to succeed if they trained their brains to choose to do the things that they needed to do by using “if-then” statements (you can also use “when-then” statements).

    He and his colleagues ran over 400 studies using every type of goal — quitting smoking, voting, healthy eating, exercising and even using condoms! All the studies showed that implementation intentions made a massive difference in the results people got.

    Related: Setting Measurable Goals Is Critical to Your Strategic Plan (and Your Success). Here’s Why.

    Get to your goal using “when-then”

    How does it work? For example, let’s say that you want to grow your business and that getting lots of 5-star testimonials will help. So, you decide to get 100 testimonials this quarter (about eight per week), and you’ll get them by calling 20 past clients per week, just four every day.

    Sounds simple, right? But this kind of project easily gets lost in the shuffle. You mean to do it; you know it’s important, but other things that seem more urgent pop up. Eventually, you might even forget about
    getting those testimonials completely.

    With implementation intention, you start with the statement, “When _________, then I will ______.” You not only say what you will do but also give it a specific time and place. In this case, you might say, “When I get to the office, and before I even look at my emails, I’ll call four past clients for testimonials.” This tells your brain exactly when to be ready to make the calls. It sets up your energy and focus. By doing it over and over, your brain is automatically triggered to sit down and make calls as soon as you walk into your office.

    James Clear talks about this in his book Atomic Habits. He points out that setting up implementation intention keeps you from deciding whether to do something every single time. You don’t need to be super motivated that day, and you don’t need to use your willpower to get yourself to do it. You just do it because, after a while, it would feel weird not to do it, just like not brushing your teeth before bed would feel strange.

    Related: Your Problem Isn’t Laziness

    Overcome obstacles using “if-then”

    Implementation intention also helps you pre-plan for obstacles you might encounter and helps get you through them. Say you know that your morning calls will often get interrupted by team members who need your input. You know something like this is bound to happen, so before it does, you figure out, “If ___________, then I will ___________.”

    “If I get interrupted, I will ask the person (unless they are bleeding to death) to give me 15-20 minutes.” Or maybe you decide, “If I get interrupted in the morning, I will close the door and eat lunch at my desk to make my calls.” The strategy you use to handle the obstacle is up to you. The point is that you already have it figured out and know exactly how to stay on track despite anything that tries to get in the way.

    Athletes have used this for years. Marathon runners know they’ll run into “the wall” at about 18 to 20 miles. Rather than getting blindsided, they figure out ways to handle it before the race. They’ll slow their pace and take some sports gel. They’ll pay attention to the cheering crowd or focus on a certain mantra. They don’t try to figure out how to deal with the wall when it’s happening. They have a plan, so it doesn’t throw them off their goal.

    Related: 5 Things About Overcoming Adversity That Athletes Can Teach Entrepreneurs

    When I started coaching, I realized that many of my students hit a wall about three months in. They were learning and implementing different marketing strategies. But these strategies take some time, so they didn’t see any results yet. We learned to warn them ahead of time. “Hey, you might not see results for 4-5 months. That doesn’t mean you aren’t on track. If you’re doing the work, results will come soon.”

    Then we help them with “if-then” strategies. “If you feel stuck or discouraged, then call in
    during office hours.” An implementation intention is a brain-hack tool that helps you take the steps you need to take whether you’re feeling motivated or not. You set up the implementation intention by saying what you’ll do and precisely when you’ll do it, and you pre-plan how you’ll deal with obstacles to stay on track.

    James Clear wrote: “Anyone can work hard when they feel motivated. It’s the ability to keep going when work isn’t exciting that makes the difference.”

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    Krista Mashore

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  • 3 Critical Lessons When Changing Your Business and Journey

    3 Critical Lessons When Changing Your Business and Journey

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Leadership isn’t easy, nor is entrepreneurship. Bringing a new idea or concept to market is a dream for many, but it can often feel daunting. When reflecting on my journey to CEO, I recently asked myself, what are the three important lessons I would tell my younger self?

    I came up with the following: Always listen to your customers, choose progress over perfection and get your employees involved. Keeping these lessons in mind will help your quest for entrepreneurial excellence and change in your business. Here’s why I think so.

    Related: Entrepreneurship is Risky. Follow This Less Risky Path For Entrepreneurial Success

    1. Listen to your customers

    When changing your business or product, customers will usually react in one of two ways. On the one hand, they may be receptive and open to change. Often, this occurs when the change doesn’t require a significant shift in customer behavior. Customers don’t want to be pushed too far outside their comfort zone (or their existing process), so if the change requires a substantial shift in attitude or perhaps a change in how they interact with your business, they might be more resistant.

    Knowing this, it is essential to listen to — and acknowledge — their concerns. As a leader, you probably won’t be able to solve all their problems, but by listening and acknowledging, you can move people down the path toward accepting changes. In addition, you’re supporting the notion that they are on the same team as you, which helps bolster change.

    Another effective way to reinforce a new belief is to focus on “peak moments” — i.e., specific parts of the consumer decision journey that have a disproportionate impact and that consumers tend to remember most.

    Peak moments often include first-time experiences with a product or service, touchpoints at critical milestones in the customer journey (such as the first renewal cycle), and other moments of intense consumer interaction (and reaction).

    Related: How to Quickly Adapt to Change and Future-Proof Your Business

    2. Progress over perfection

    In today’s competitive start-up landscape, it is tempting to strive for perfection when launching a new product, idea or solution — especially those of us with an engineering bent. No one wants to go to market with something that feels “less than.” However, grasping for the goal of perfection can be a barrier to real growth. Like the well-worn aphorism says, “don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.”

    Without making mistakes and allowing the chance to improve, we’d never know what success looks like — that’s the danger of letting perfection be the enemy of good. And honestly, it’s those ups and downs that make entrepreneurship life interesting.

    Related: Seek Progress, Not Perfection: Why Your Business Should Embrace the “Toothpick Rule”

    During my career, I have witnessed the transition in both thinking and execution from so-called waterfall to agile — essentially moving from sequential to iterative. It is a huge difference maker in quickly demonstrating (or not) progress. While it might sound scary to release something small and seemingly incomplete, realize that as consumers, we have grown accustomed to that approach of consuming new products and processes — think about the last mobile app you downloaded.

    Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself and your teams to take high-risk and high-reward opportunities. Taking the time to experiment, learn from problems and discover new solutions is all part of the process. It not only allows you and your business to grow but encourages your team’s development as well.

    3. Get employees involved

    While the C-suite garners a lot of attention and credit when a company performs well, each employee is part of the beating heart of the organization and plays a vital role in enacting change. So, think holistically about change from the bottom to the top.

    To make this happen, as a leader, you should strive to cultivate an environment of trust, curiosity and learning. Leaders must build trust rather than undermine it to spark a sense of commitment and create a culture of motivation and professional development in their business. This helps encourage more discussions and synthesis about what is and isn’t working.

    Also, companies that make innovation, transparency and trust a core value of their culture often attract similar qualities in the employees they hire. There is no doubt that the next generation of talent is making waves in the workforce landscape. From the pandemic to the Great Resignation and Quiet Quitting, there’s a shift in what employees look for in their employers.

    The needs of each employee and organization differ, but generally speaking, it’s not surprising that employees want to be valued and take responsibility for high-value initiatives. To be clear, success here starts with attracting talent that embodies your company’s values.

    Related: Entrepreneurs Are Struggling With Mental Illness. Here are 5 Ways to Manage Your Mental Health As An Entrepreneur

    Moving forward

    All in all, change in your business, your products and the market can and should take time. Accomplishment doesn’t happen overnight. Be open and wise to this. Also, be prepared to learn as you go. There is a difference between reading about and experiencing these lessons firsthand.

    And perhaps most importantly, don’t underestimate what your team can accomplish when given a clear vision and the resources to execute — empowerment is the secret sauce of top-performing organizations.

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    Jim Contardi

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  • 4 Ways to Use the Past to Capture Success

    4 Ways to Use the Past to Capture Success

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    I always tell my students that “your history is not your destiny.” While that’s true, I’ve come to realize that your history can be valuable. You can gain so much from the past if you use it properly so that it trains your brain for success.

    Rewire your brain with the past

    I’m guessing you’ve heard of neuroplasticity, the brain’s capacity to change and be trained. They call it “synaptic pruning, ” meaning that seldom-used neuropathways lose their power and frequently-used neuropathways get stronger.

    To be successful, you want to strengthen neuropathways that lead to success.

    This is where the past comes in and why often you’re told to “forget the past.” Our natural tendency is to remember the negatives of the past, what we didn’t accomplish or what didn’t work out for us. Doing this strengthens pathways that make us doubt ourselves or feel afraid. But we can use the past differently to support more positive neuropathways.

    Related: 8 Steps to Move Away From the Past You Need to Leave Behind

    Use the past to grade your progress

    “The way to measure your progress is backward against where you started, not against your ideal.” — Dan Sullivan.

    In The Gap And The Gain, authors Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy write that when you’re going after a goal, the gap is everything between where you are now and where you want to be.

    The gain is how far you’ve come, from where you started to where you are now. Most of us focus on the gap; how far we still need to go. We hardly ever acknowledge the gains we’ve made, the distance we’ve come, or how much we’ve accomplished.

    But by dismissing the gain, you’re wasting a great opportunity. “Success breeds success,” and success builds confidence, right? When you notice and applaud all the challenges you’ve successfully overcome, you strengthen the “overcomer” neuropathway.

    When you consistently acknowledge all those good ideas you implemented, or times you stepped out of your comfort zone, your brain starts seeing accomplishment as the norm for you. If you dismiss your progress and focus on what you haven’t yet accomplished, you’re strengthening that stressful “not there yet” feeling, which does not add to your confidence.

    Try it for yourself. If you’re having a tough day, look back at where you started on this journey to build your business. Think about how far you’ve come, the obstacles you handled, and the big and small wins. Give yourself a big high five for all the gains. How do you feel?

    Related: How Studying History Brings Success

    Use the past for learning

    “An experience only becomes valuable and useful once you’ve transformed it into a gain.” Benjamin P. Hardy

    A friend of mine has a client who is a highly successful business owner. Whenever this man makes a big mistake, he says, “well, that lesson was cheaper than my college education — and probably more valuable!” He’s decided that every experience, especially the rough ones, gives him something he needs to learn. So, he’s very conscientious in figuring out what that lesson is.

    It’s not always easy to figure out the lesson right after a significant setback. But if you don’t find that gold nugget, your brain might jump to false conclusions, like thinking you are not good enough for success. Instead, turn it into a gain by finding the lesson.

    You can also do this with experiences in the past because the person you are today has a different perspective than the person back then. Try taking an incident in your past that still feels like a thorn in your side. What lesson could you gain from it? Did that experience make you stronger, wiser and more compassionate? Now, whenever you think of it, be sure also to remember what you gained from it.

    Use the past to be more effective

    “Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” — Zig Ziglar

    Dr. James Gross, a Stanford psychology professor, ran a study to see how our emotions or state of mind affect what we do. His team studied 60,000 people for an average of 27 days. They found that when people were in a bad mood, they avoided challenges and even slacked off. They tackled the challenging but necessary work when they were in a good mood. In other words, to get good work done, it helps to be in a good mood. And you can use the past to get there, even if today is getting you down.

    Start by remembering when you felt proud, happy or especially confident. Maybe it was when you aced your third-grade spelling test or got your first job. Maybe it was going to your high school prom or stumbling across a fantastic waterfall on a hike.

    The key is to really get into that experience and feel what you felt back then. Give that memory a keyword like “waterfall.” Then find another great memory and re-experience that one. Pull out these great memories and re-experience them whenever you need a boost. After a while, you’ll find that even just saying the keyword can bring in that great feeling.

    So, rather than just “moving on” from your past, use it as a tool to build your business. Focus on the gains from your journey and celebrate them. Find the gems of learning from past experiences, especially the “bad,” and learn from them. Use your wonderful memories to enhance your mood so you can tackle those challenges. It’s true. Your history is not your destiny. But when you use your past properly to condition your brain for success, it can be a valuable ally.

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    Krista Mashore

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