ReportWire

Tag: Entertainers

  • Joe Rogan Stunned After 5-Year-Old Informs Him That Horseys Come From Outer Space

    Joe Rogan Stunned After 5-Year-Old Informs Him That Horseys Come From Outer Space

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    AUSTIN—Expressing astonishment at the new mind-blowing revelation, podcaster and former Fear Factor host Joe Rogan was reportedly stunned Tuesday after a 5-year-old told him that horseys come from outer-space. “Whoa, this is huge, man—nobody in the mainstream media is talking about this,” said Rogan, speaking to his guest, self-proclaimed space horsey expert Noah Cooper, in an interview that drew widespread online criticism that Cooper’s kindergarten credentials did not make him an authority on the origins of horseys. “So, wait, you’re telling me that the horseys that we see all around us slid down from outer space on a rainbow? It’s wild how all the studies that found evidence that horses eat stars are being censored. I mean, obviously you know better than anyone since, like you said, you’ve been to space a bajillion times.” At press time, Joe Rogan challenged any horse who refuted these claims to come on the podcast to debate the kindergartener.

    Lies Men Will Tell To Get You To Sleep With Them

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  • Week In Review: May 14, 2023

    Week In Review: May 14, 2023

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  • Donald Glover Confirms Barron Trump Will Be Writing On ‘Swarm’ Season 2

    Donald Glover Confirms Barron Trump Will Be Writing On ‘Swarm’ Season 2

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    LOS ANGELES—Stating that his latest hire was sure to take the storyline in fascinating new directions, Donald Glover confirmed Friday that Barron Trump would be a writer on the second season of Swarm. “Barron brings a lot to the table, and we’re sure he’ll be an indispensable presence in our writers room next season,” said Glover, explaining that he and his co-creator Janine Nabers were blown away after reading the former president’s son’s Atlanta spec script. “I think the unique life experience Barron has had will give him a lot of insight into the mind of a young Houston woman who has endured a series of dead-end jobs, maxed out her credit cards, and worked as an exotic dancer. It’s honestly a complete coincidence that his father is Donald Trump; he was hands-down the best working professional writer we could find anywhere.” At press time, Glover confirmed that he had hired Hunter Biden to do joke punch-ups on the show.

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  • Hollywood’s Biggest Stars Explain Why The Oscars Are Still Relevant

    Hollywood’s Biggest Stars Explain Why The Oscars Are Still Relevant

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    “Listen—no time to explain, but in 2027, someone known as ‘Mr. Beast’ is nominated for Best Director for a film called Coincidentally Spearman. He must not win! If this happens, a timeline is created wherein billions will perish. I have to go—I’ve used all of my time credits on this final jump, and if I stay around any longer, the multiverse will implode.”

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  • Apparently Video Game Characters Look Great In Drag

    Apparently Video Game Characters Look Great In Drag

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    Photo: Velvet Caveat

    There are many gifts to be found on self-proclaimed “video game siren” Velvet Caveat’s TikTok, like gay Team Rocket and, most recently, an electric blue Gyrados puppet holding down Ariana Grande’s part of “Rain On Me” during a lip-sync performance.

    “No, but Gyariana killed it,” Caveat writes in the caption, perhaps underselling the surreality of watching a sharp-toothed Water/Flying type handle Ariana Grande’s vocal runs with ease while she’s dressed as a tastefully nude Misty.

    The puppet was a collaboration between friends, Caveat tells me over email—Matti made the head and puppet, Zac and Alex worked on the body.

    “It was inspired by Carmen Farala from Drag Race España who did this amazing snake look I loved,” she says. “I wanted to reinterpret it in my own way. Why not Misty being constricted by a Gyarados? I even had Staryu earrings from my friend, Girl1000 Jewellery! It was a fun interpretation that hadn’t been done before and it meant that Gyariana (her name) could duet with me doing “Rain On Me” for the show finale. She even shot water out in the final chorus!”

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    A jaw-dropping Gyariana, to me, marks just another night for Caveat, who has been performing her video game-themed drag show SlayStation in London since December 2021. The Gyrados performance was part of its recent Pokemon-themed Master Ball.

    About founding SlayStation, Caveat says she “decided I wanted to start my own show and space and thought, ‘Why not combine my two passions, video games and performing?’”

    Caveat, who is trans, had never attempted cosplay before starting SlayStation, but felt like “video games have always let me express myself and my identity in a safe space, especially while I was still figuring it out in the real world.”

    “I really wanted to portray the importance of that for me and so many other people with the event,” she continues.

    Video games form the rhinestone-glued platform to Caveat’s plans—even her name was inspired by Odin Sphere. And only a little over a year old, SlayStation has already motivated plenty of video game drag, including a Goldeen cosplay topped with inky fake lashes, a glamorous Lopunny, and for Caveat, Bayonetta.

    “As a 6’4” woman, I felt like I could really do her justice,” she tells me.

    The event is already gaining recognition through TikTok and through industry pros like Kim Chi, who competed on season eight of RuPaul’s Drag Race, and British Drag Race star Dakota Schiffer, who both attended SlayStation’s Master Ball event.

    But it isn’t only fun to look at. it’s also creating a vibrant and comfortable space for queer video game fans.

    “The best show I’ve seen in a good while,” one Instagram commenter wrote on SlayStation’s post highlighting the importance of trans representation. “So much love in the room, cannot wait for the next one.” They’ll only have to wait a bit longer—there’s a Doki Doki Literature Club-themed event coming in February, and Caveat tells me she’s already planning “a big Final Fantasy show in a few months to celebrate the new games.”

    “Should have some more fun looks and performances,” she says. Here comes the Square Enix hurricane, bitch.

     

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    Ashley Bardhan

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  • Zelensky Calls On U.S. To Send Totally Psycho Marine

    Zelensky Calls On U.S. To Send Totally Psycho Marine

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    KYIV, UKRAINE—In a desperate plea for aid in the continued effort to expel his nation’s Russian occupiers, sources reported Friday that President Volodymyr Zelensky had called upon the United States to send a totally psycho marine to assist in Ukraine’s war effort. “You know, one of those expertly trained, one-man-army guys who carries an arsenal on his back and has killed so many people in combat he’s now cold, unfeeling, and completely insane—you gotta have at least one of those to spare, right?” said Zelensky, specifying that the ideal candidate would be a wild-eyed shirtless muscleman who functioned as a completely self-sufficient killing machine and could take out hundreds, if not thousands, of enemies all by himself. “In order to get the upper hand against Russia, we’re going to need your most batshit, balls-to-the-wall ex-special-forces guy. He’ll have a crazy name like Razor or Bloodhound or something, and he’ll always be blacking out and waking up covered in blood with a whole village dead around him. If he has a personal score to settle with the Russians, that’s great, but the most important thing is that he just kills and kills and kills and kills—sometimes using a cherished hunting knife that belonged to a fallen comrade, even though a gun would be faster. Honestly, he can kill a few Ukrainians too, if he wants, just so long as he gets the job done.” At press time, the U.S. Marine Corps had reportedly agreed to send “the craziest motherfucker” it had, just as soon as he had applied his face paint, donned a necklace of severed human ears, and stopped in for chest wax.

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  • Drake Just Went On A Hentai Barrage On Instagram

    Drake Just Went On A Hentai Barrage On Instagram

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    Drake, the rapper, looks at his phone during an NBA game.

    Drake on his phone, maybe posting porn?
    Photo: Cole Bursto (Getty Images)

    Hello, welcome to the end of the week. I’m here to send you off into the night with the news that rapper Drake has posted a bunch of anime porn, aka hentai on his main Instagram account. The account has 124M followers, for the record, which is more than the entirety of Crunchyroll’s viewership in 2021. The porn is seemingly part of his marketing push for his new album “Her Loss.” Just one more thing the rapper has done recently that’s caught the eyes of the internet and made a lot of folks stop and go “…What? Why?”

    Let’s take a quick detour before we hop straight into the hentai posting to provide some context. Today, Drake released a new collaborative album with 21 Savage. To help promote Her Loss, the new record, Drake and 21 Savage have been on a wild whirlwind marketing blitz complete with a fake promo for a non-existent NPR Tiny Desk Concert starring the duo and a completely fabricated Vogue cover. Weird stuff! But last night, Drake decided to take his marketing of Her Loss to a whole new level, and uh…just posted straight-up anime porn on his main, official Instagram.

    As of 6:15 EST p.m. the photos are still up on his Instagram story. He posted four different hentai images last night accompanied with various English captions, including “Mood at midnight” and “Goodbye my dear husband.” Enough posts, in other words, that the porn doesn’t seem to be a mistake from a random image he found or something. Here is a censored look at the images:

    An image collage that shows four different pieces of censored anime porn.

    If you want to see the fully uncensored pics, click here, but just know that they are full-on hentai screenshots. So if you are at work or around prudish family members, be careful.

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    The album hasn’t been out long, but it’s led to some controversy involving Megan Thee Stallion. In one song on the album, Drake seemingly references a reported 2020 shooting involving Stallion and Canadian rapper, Tory Lanez. Allegedly, Lanez shot Megan Thee Stallion’s feet when she tried to walk away from an argument. In the song, Circo Loco, Drake appears to reference this event when he raps, “This bitch lie ’bout getting shots but she still a stallion.”

    Megan Thee Stallion, another known anime connoisseur, has since commented about the song and its lyrics, tweeting: “Stop using my shooting for clout bitch ass n—-! Since when tf is it cool to joke about abt women getting shot!”

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    Zack Zwiezen

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  • The Most Versatile Music LED Light Tool That Syncs to Music Automatically – the ViVi Music LED Controller

    The Most Versatile Music LED Light Tool That Syncs to Music Automatically – the ViVi Music LED Controller

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    The ViVi Music LED Controller is changing the future of live lighting control with real-time tracking of any song seamlessly through its exclusive VibeSync™ technology. It syncs to your beat in real-time, separating it into three distinct frequency ranges (bass/mids/highs) and outputs these to addressable LEDs for a stunning lightshow.

    ViVi is compatible with any addressable LED light strips for an easily expandable setup for anyone looking to bring their music to light.


    Virginia Beach, VA, August 10, 2016 (Newswire.com)
    –
    ​​​Visual Vibes LLC, a team of technology and music enthusiasts, are proud to announce the first ever beat matching music LED controller that can be used by anyone.

    The ViVi Music LED Controller is changing the future of live lighting control with real-time tracking of any song seamlessly through its exclusive VibeSync™ technology.  ViVi is also a portable, wearable device that works with addressable LED strips (WS2812B/WS2812/WS2811) to create amazing light shows for their next event.

    ViVi’s VibeSync™ is the first of its kind – analyzing your music’s sound spectrum and producing a synchronized light show that helps you visualize your vibe and give creators a new way to showcase their art form.

    Matt Kachur, Founder and Creator

    Learn more about ViVi and how to be a part of its development at http://visualvibes.io/Kickstarter

    One of a Kind Technology 

    VibeSync™ is the first of its kind – analyzing your music’s sound spectrum and producing a synchronized light show that helps you visualize your vibe by isolating sounds over three common EQ channels – bass (lows), midrange (mids), and treble (highs) on individual outputs.

    Your music reacts to volume, beats per minute (BPM), and automatically generates different animations to help your audience truly visualize the music.

    ViVi Is Easy to Use and Setup

    Creating stunning light shows as a musician or DJ tends to be expensive – costing up to thousands of dollars in intelligent lighting gear and countless hours learning and programming DMX controllers. ViVi changes all of that.

    Just plug in your LED light strips to each channel and use an external microphone or plug your device into the AUX cable directly for direct synchronization. Either way works excellent and highlights the strength of ViVi’s signal processing.

    ViVi is compatible with any addressable LED light strips (WS2813/WS2812B/WS2812/WS2811) for a very easily expandable setup for anyone looking to “Bring Your Music to Light”.

    ViVi Is Versatile

    ViVi’s been designed so you can use it for anything and anywhere –

    • Performances by DJs, Bands, Musicians

    • Weddings, Celebrations, and Parties

    • Cars, Boats, Bikes

    • Outdoor or Indoor Lighting

    • Lounges, Bars, or your Home

    It’s technology that fits in your pocket, making it portable and wearable – so you can create a music-reactive outfit to your next Halloween party or EDC. The possibilities are endless.

    Plus, ViVi isn’t limited to only re-creating amazing light shows. it’s also easy to use for basic lighting options, too.  By using its static color mode, ViVi can help overhaul any existing home or venue lighting installation and gives you control to bring the fun out when it’s time to party.  

    ViVi Gives You Total Control

    Want to be more hands on? Control and set your own experience through the included Bluetooth App that supports Android and iOS.

    Pre-Order / Kickstarter Live August 10th

    Our Kickstarter launches on August 10th and we need your help to begin the next stage.

    Development of the basic unit is completed and initial pledges will fund the first set of production units and finalize the Bluetooth application, which in turn will and help us on our goal to change music reactive LED lighting forever.

    About Visual Vibes

    We’re a team of technology and music enthusiasts who appreciate the visual sensations during a concert, club, or festival.  We’ve seen firsthand how lighting can set the mood and complement rhythms of the music to make it a special atmosphere through our work as DJs, event planners, and engineering.

    This desire for sense-heightening experiences has led to create a new generation of unprecedented music synchronized light show products that are easy-to-use.

    We want the power of lighting to be available to everyone who wants to host their next event as something to be remembered.

    Follow us on @ViViMusicLED on Twitter or https://www.facebook.com/VisualVibesLLC

    Visit http://visualvibes.io to keep up with the latest in news and updates for the campaign.

    Source: Visual Vibes LLC

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