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Tag: Empathy

  • What Age Do Leadership Abilities Peak? A New Study Offers a Surprising Answer 

    If you’re a fashion model or a professional athlete, you’ll probably reach your professional peak before age 30. Research confirms genius wonderkinds in fields like math also tend to reach the pinnacle of their careers early too. But how about leaders? At what age do leadership abilities peak? 

    It’s a question that doesn’t lend itself to a clear answer. Sprint speeds are simple to measure, and we all have firsthand evidence of the toll time takes on our bodies. But leadership excellence requires a complex bundle of skills, including raw intellectual horsepower, emotional intelligence, wisdom, and accumulated experience. 

    Measuring all those traits, figuring out at what age they usually peak, and bundling that information together meaningfully is a complex task. But it’s one a team of researchers recently tackled. The end result is an estimate of when leaders are generally at their best. The results might surprise you. 

    The 16 skills that make a great leader 

    What does it take to be a great leader? According to University of Western Australia psychologist Gilles Gignac, the answer is a combination of no less than 16 different traits and skills. For their recent research, Gignac and his collaborators sifted through previous studies to determine the key abilities for leadership success and compiled a list, including: 

    They then looked at previous studies that measured these traits at different ages to see when people’s performance peaked. The accumulated evidence showed that some, like raw intellectual processing power, are strongest when we’re young. Others, like conscientiousness, just keep going up well into our seventh decade and beyond.

    But when do we have the best bundle of mental abilities to give us the best shot at leadership success? Combining all these factors, the researchers were able to estimate the age at which people hit peak leadership ability on average. What did they find? 

    “Overall mental functioning peaked between ages 55 and 60, before beginning to decline from around 65,” reports Gignac in The Conversation. “Our findings may help explain why many of the most demanding leadership roles in business, politics, and public life are often held by people in their fifties and early sixties. So while several abilities decline with age, they’re balanced by growth in other important traits.”

    Leadership abilities peak at 55-60?

    In a culture that fetishizes youth (and allows some leaders to continue way past when they should), the fact that our overall mental and leadership ability peaks right before retirement age might come as a shock. But there is plenty of other research that suggests Gignac’s study isn’t some crazy outlier. 

    One of the clearest comes from the field of entrepreneurship. Top founders are often portrayed in the media and on magazine covers as hoodie-wearing twenty-somethings. But an analysis of exits of investor backed companies show the average age of a successful startup founder is actually 47. That’s a lot closer to Gignac’s peak than it is to the current cultural stereotype.

    Another recent Stanford study tracked the performance of individuals on various cognitive tests over decades and found that overall intelligence tends to peak in your 40s. If you continue to stay intellectually active your intellectual skills don’t decline until retirement age. Other research has found self-esteem, empathy, and conflict resolution skills all keep improving deep into middle age. 

    Time to check your biases

    All of this should comfort you if you’re worrying that you’re intellectually over the hill. Yes, we gain wrinkles, aches, and memory lapses as we add more candles to our birthday cakes. But science is pretty clear that, on average, we gain more than we lose intellectually. 

    But if the results are a comfort to middle-aged professionals hoping to stay on top of their game, they are also a caution to employers. Gignac stresses that his findings should nudge companies to take a hard look at any age-related biases in their organization. 

    If you’re running an NFL team, ageism might make sense. But in most instances, the idea that people lose a step as they get older is probably costing you talent. As Gignac concludes, “Perhaps it’s time we stopped treating midlife as a countdown and started recognizing it as a peak.”

    The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

    Jessica Stillman

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  • If You Say Yes to Any of These 5 Questions, Science Says You’re More Emotionally Intelligent Than You Think

    Emotional intelligence  matters, and not just on a personal level. Research shows developing greater emotional intelligence can lead to higher performance and pay, as well as better professional and personal relationships.

    The better you can understand and manage your emotions, and the emotions of people around you, the greater your chances of success.

    So how emotionally intelligent are you? You could take an emotional intelligence test.

    Or you could just see how you answer the following questions.

    “Do I ask for advice instead of feedback?”

    Say you’re okay with getting feedback, even when it’s critical. (Plenty of people who claim they do, really don’t.) You may even enjoy getting critical feedback.

    But that doesn’t mean other people like to give you the feedback you need. Research shows when feedback is requested rather than volunteered, it tends to be too vague. Too fluffy. Too, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings so I’ll just be nice,” to be of any real value. 

    But when you ask for advice? Harvard Business School researchers found that compared to asking for feedback, asking for advice resulted in respondents providing 34 percent more areas of improvement, and 56 percent more ways to improve. 

    In short, emotionally intelligent people realize that asking another person to provide feedback (saying, “How did I do?”) puts them on the spot.

    On the other hand, asking another person for advice (saying, “What can (or should) I do?”) is flattering. Asking someone for advice implicitly shows you respect their knowledge, skills, experience, etc.

    Do that, and two great things happen: you get the input you need, and they feel valued, trusted, and happy to offer guidance they know will help you.

    Win-win.

    “Do I appreciate (even if I don’t like) negative feedback?”

    But what if you’re given feedback you didn’t request? That’s the farthest thing from fun. No one likes to be told what they can do better. Research shows most people rarely appreciate feedback when it’s negative. And when they do receive constructive criticism, they rarely use it to improve their performance. (In fact, studies show that within days we tend to totally forget the negative feedback we receive.)

    Emotionally intelligent people keep their feelings in check and embrace — or at least put aside — the discomfort to find ways to improve. A study published in Journal of Experimental Psychology: Learning found that we’re far more likely to recall evaluative feedback (feedback about something we’ve already completed) than directive feedback (feedback on how we could improve on a future task.)

    That’s why emotionally intelligent people embrace — again, even if they don’t enjoy — critical feedback. They focus on what it says about the task, not about themselves.

    Instead of avoiding feedback that threatens how you currently perceive yourself, use it to improve how you will someday perceive yourself.

    Smarter, more skilled, more talented, more inclusive… more of whatever you someday hope to be.

    “Do I often praise other people?”

    Do you feel you don’t receive enough recognition and praise? Science says you’re not alone. Two out of three employees surveyed feel they don’t receive enough praise, and nearly three-fourths say they receive some form of positive feedback less than once a week.

    Clearly that doesn’t feel great.

    Emotionally intelligent people recognize that what they want — or need — is what they can give to people they know. A kind word. A sincere thank-you.

    Plenty of people you know — employees, vendors, customers, friends, family, etc. — deserve a kind word. A sincere thank-you. 

    But you should also recognize people you don’t know. A store clerk. A delivery person. A customer service rep.  Because praise that is unexpected, like the gift that is given “just because,” is often even more powerful.

    “Do I willingly admit my mistakes?”

    As Daniel Coyle writes in his book The Culture Code, Navy SEAL Dave Cooper feels the most important words a leader can say are, “I screwed that up.”

    While that might sound odd, since conventional wisdom says leaders should project unshakable confidence, and admitting weakness risks creating more weakness, emotionally intelligent people realize strong cultures can only be built when people feel safe enough to tell one another the truth.

    Which starts with leaders who admit they aren’t perfect.

    The result is a vulnerability loop: one person allows themself to be vulnerable and admits a mistake or a shortcoming, which allows another person to do the same. In time, that leads to more open exchanges that build trust and drive performance.

    And helps people focus on how they can get better, together.

    “Do I often skip past the small talk?”

    Say you’re at a conference and just met someone new. Do you whip out the small talk?

    Science says you shouldn’t. A series of studies published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that the more awkward and uncomfortable a conversation with another person sounded, the more they tended to bond with the other person, and the more they liked the other person.

    Participants felt less awkward, more connected, and a lot happier after those conversations than they expected to feel.

    Emotionally intelligent people realize that the deeper the conversation, especially with someone they don’t know, the more likely they both are to enjoy it.

    Keep in mind “deep” doesn’t have to be too deep. When researchers asked people to come up with what they considered to be “deeper” questions, the most common were pretty straightforward:

    • What do you love doing?
    • What do you regret most?
    • Where do you see yourself in five years?

    As the researchers write, “Our research suggests that the person next to you would probably be happier talking about their passions and purpose than the weather or ‘What’s up?’”

    And so do you.

    The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

    Jeff Haden

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  • Commentary: Empathy is the only way forward after Charlie Kirk’s death

    It wasn’t the greeting I was expecting from my dad when I stopped by for lunch Wednesday at his Anaheim home.

    “¿Quién es Charlie Kirk?”

    Papi still has a flip phone, so he hasn’t sunk into an endless stream of YouTube and podcasts like some of his friends. His sources of news are Univisión and the top-of-the-hour bulletins on Mexican oldies stations — far away from Kirk’s conservative supernova.

    “Some political activist,” I replied. “Why?”

    “The news said he got shot.”

    Papi kept watering his roses while I went on my laptop to learn more. My stomach churned and my heart sank as graphic videos of Kirk taking a bullet in the neck while speaking to students at Utah Valley University peppered my social media feeds. What made me even sicker was that everyone online already thought they knew who did it, even though law enforcement hadn’t identified a suspect.

    Conservatives blamed liberalism for demonizing one of their heroes and vowed vengeance. Some progressives argued that Kirk had it coming because of his long history of incendiary statements against issues including affirmative action, trans people and Islam. Both sides predicted an escalation in political violence in the wake of Kirk’s killing — fueled by the other side against innocents, of course.

    It was the internet at its worst, so I closed my laptop and checked on my dad. He had moved on to cleaning the pool.

    “So who was he?” Papi asked again. By then, Donald Trump had announced Kirk’s death. Text messages streamed in from my colleagues. I gave my dad a brief sketch of Kirk’s life, and he frowned when I said the commentator had supported Trump’s mass deportation dreams.

    Hate wasn’t on Papi’s mind, however.

    “It’s sad that he got killed,” Papi said. “May God bless him and his family.”

    “Are politics going to get worse now?” he added.

    It’s a question that friends and family have been asking me ever since Kirk’s assassination. I’m the political animal in their circles, the one who bores everyone at parties as I yap about Trump and Gov. Gavin Newsom while they want to talk Dodgers and Raiders. They’re too focused on raising families and trying to prosper in these hard times to post a hot take on social media about political personalities they barely know.

    They’ve long been over this nation’s partisan divide, because they work and play just fine with people they don’t agree with. They’re tired of being told to loathe someone over ideological differences or blindly worship a person or a cause because it’s supposedly in their best interests. They might not have heard of Kirk before his assassination, but they now worry about what’s next — because a killing this prominent is usually a precursor of worse times ahead.

    I wasn’t naive enough to think that the killing of someone as divisive as Kirk would bring Americans together to denounce political terrorism and forge a kinder nation. I knew that each side would embarrass itself with terrible takes and that Trump wouldn’t even pretend to be a unifier.

    But the collective dumpster fire we got was worse than I had imagined.

    President Donald Trump shakes hands with moderator Charlie Kirk, during a Generation Next White House forum at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building on the White House complex in Washington, Thursday, March 22, 2018.

    (Manuel Balce Ceneta / Associated Press)

    Although conservatives brag that no riots have sparked, as happened after George Floyd’s murder in 2020, they’re largely staying silent as the loudest of Kirk’s supporters vow to crush the left once and for all. The Trump administration is already promising a crackdown against the left in Kirk’s name, and no GOP leaders are complaining. People are losing their jobs because of social media posts critical of Kirk, and his fans are cheering the cancel cavalcade.

    Meanwhile, progressives are flummoxed by the right, yet again. They can’t understand why vigils nationwide for someone they long cast as a white nationalist, a fascist and worse are drawing thousands. They’re dismissing those who attend as deluded cultists, hardening hearts on each side even more. They’re posting Kirk’s past statements on social media as proof that they’re correct about him — but that’s like holding up a sheet of paper to dam the Mississippi.

    I hadn’t paid close attention to Kirk, mostly because he didn’t have a direct connection to Southern California politics. I knew he had helped turn young voters toward Trump, and I loathed his noxious comments that occasionally caught my attention. I appreciated that he was willing to argue his views with critics, even if his style was more Cartman from “South Park” (which satirized Kirk’s college tours just weeks ago) than Ronald Reagan versus Walter Mondale.

    I understand why his fans are grieving and why opponents are sickened at his canonization by Trump, who seems to think that only conservatives are the victims of political violence and that liberals can only be perpetrators. I also know that a similar thing would happen if, heaven forbid, a progressive hero suffered Kirk’s tragic end — way too many people on the right would be dancing a jig and cracking inappropriate jokes, while the left would be whitewashing the sins of the deceased.

    We’re witnessing a partisan passion play, with the biggest losers our democracy and the silent majority of Americans like my father who just want to live life. Weep or critique — it’s your right to do either. But don’t drag the whole country into your culture war. Those who have navigated between the Scylla and Charybdis of right and left for too long want to sail to calmer waters. Turning Kirk’s murder into a modern-day Ft. Sumter when we aren’t even certain of his suspected killer’s motives is a guarantee for chaos.

    I never answered my dad’s question about what’s next for us politically. In the days since, I keep rereading what Kirk said about empathy. He derided the concept on a 2022 episode of his eponymous show as “a made-up, new age term that … does a lot of damage.”

    Kirk was wrong about many things, but especially that. Empathy means we try to understand each other’s experiences — not agree, not embrace, but understand. Empathy connects us to others in the hope of creating something bigger and better.

    It’s what allows me to feel for Kirk’s loved ones and not wish his fate on anyone, no matter how much I dislike them or their views. It’s the only thing that ties me to Kirk — he loved this country as much as I do, even if our views about what makes it great were radically different.

    Preaching empathy might be a fool’s errand. But at a time when we’re entrenched deeper in our silos than ever, it’s the only way forward. We need to understand why wishing ill on the other side is wrong and why such talk poisons civic life and dooms everyone.

    Kirk was no saint, but if his assassination makes us take a collective deep breath and figure out how to fix this fractured nation together, he will have truly died a martyr’s death.

    Gustavo Arellano

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  • Woodland Park Zoo Awarded Transformative Grant to Advance Empathy for Animals


    Online, November 21, 2024 (Newswire.com)
    –
    Woodland Park Zoo is pleased to announce a $7.15 million grant from Margaret A. Cargill Philanthropies (MACP) to advance and expand the zoo’s Advancing Empathy Initiative that fosters empathy for animals in Association of Zoos and Aquariums (AZA)-accredited organizations.

    This three-year grant continues the zoo’s long-term partnership with MACP and organizations across the country to build strong empathic connections between humans and animals through research-based effective empathy practices while also amplifying the zoo’s mission to save wildlife and inspire everyone to make conservation a priority in their lives.

    Emerging behavioral science is showing that there are social and emotional components to changing our behaviors. Feeling empathy is an often overlooked but necessary step between learning about the need for change and taking action on behalf of another. Empathy allows people to connect their concern for the wellbeing of animals to the importance of acting in caring ways, including conserving the environment upon which both people and animals depend.

    “Millions of people each year visit AZA-accredited zoos and aquariums. We believe that building empathy is among the most powerful tools in our toolbox for galvanizing care and compassion for animals,” said Alejandro Grajal, PhD, President and CEO of Woodland Park Zoo. “Bringing people and animals closer is an innate strength of our field. By providing close encounters with animals, our institutions are uniquely positioned to help visitors feel empathy for wildlife, increase understanding of how animals are cared for, and encourage visitors to actively participate in our wildlife conservation efforts.”

    Woodland Park Zoo’s leadership in advancing empathy learnings and best practices within the zoo and aquarium community spans more than a decade. At the heart of this effort today is the Advancing Conservation through Empathy (ACE) for Wildlife™ Network, which began with 20 founding AZA-accredited partners in Alaska, Idaho, Minnesota, Montana, North Dakota, Washington and Wisconsin. The Network has since expanded to 27 network partner organizations across 13 states and has grown to include more than 550 participating professionals across five continents. Founded and led by Woodland Park Zoo, with philanthropic funding from MACP, the ACE for Wildlife Network facilitates professional collaboration and catalyzes accredited zoos and aquariums’ capacities to develop, implement, and measure the impact of empathy programming. (For a full list of participating Network partners, see below.)

    With this new round of grant funding, the ACE for Wildlife Network will continue to identify and disseminate effective empathy practices – such as Woodland Park Zoo’s kea enrichment program with the zoo’s kea TepTep and Jean Luc, where guests learn about these highly intelligent parrots, their food and enrichment preferences. Visitors step into the birds’ feathers to think about the animals’ perspective and needs and are given supplies to make them clever puzzles to hide treats. By observing the kea as they explore, play and problem-solve, guests can relate and build a sense of connection to these birds, and that connection is critical to fostering empathy.

    “We’re so proud of this innovative community of zoos and aquariums that is guiding our field into a new era of relationships between people and animals, while collectively impacting more than 17.5 million zoo visitors and program participants across the ACE for Wildlife™ Network partners,” said Marta Burnet, PhD, Director of Advancing Empathy at Woodland Park Zoo. “Our development of leading-edge empathy programs and rapid-response evaluation of their impact equips our institutions to more deeply engage visitors in conservation efforts while consistently applying new learnings to our practice. Ultimately, our holistic aim is to strengthen our guests’ empathy muscles through connections with animals, nature and each other.”

    During the three-year grant period, Woodland Park Zoo’s Advancing Empathy Initiative will re-grant $3.6 million to the Network’s founding partners, who are already developing pioneering programs and continuing to expand their influence across our field nationally and internationally. For example, Racine Zoo used a previous grant to develop a virtual animal encounter program that gives school children the opportunity to meet, learn about and name a Madagascar hissing cockroach – the most popular and frequently highlighted was named Georgia by a group of kids. Giving an animal a name is an important method for fostering empathy because it helps individualize the animal. Zoo staff utilize empathy best practices during these educational encounters – including describing Georgia’s unique personality traits and engaging students in perspective-taking – that can build positive attitudes towards underappreciated species.

    Thanks to grant funding from Margaret A. Cargill Philanthropies, the ACE for Wildlife Network offers free resources and effective empathy-building practices online at www.aceforwildlife.org.

    About Margaret A. Cargill Philanthropies

    Margaret A. Cargill Philanthropies (MACP) provides meaningful assistance to society, the arts, and the environment. Based in Minnesota, MACP is the umbrella over two grantmaking foundations: Margaret A. Cargill Foundation and Anne Ray Foundation. Rooted in guidance from our founder Margaret Cargill, we engage with strategic partners to support work that makes a lasting difference for communities, with particular attention to overlooked causes. Our global funding spans seven domains connected through common strategies and approaches: Animal Welfare, Arts & Cultures, Disaster Relief & Recovery, Environment, Legacy & Opportunity, Quality of Life, and Teachers & Students. The collective assets of MACP place it among the largest philanthropies in the United States.

    This new grant supports Woodland Park Zoo’s vision to reimagine zoos through its 2018 through 2025 Strategic Plan. With the goal of being a catalyst for conservation, Woodland Park Zoo has undertaken a bold $110 million Forests for All comprehensive fundraising campaign to bring its Strategic Plan to life, which has already been supported by more than 110,000 donors with generous gifts at every level. To learn more about the Forests for All campaign, please visit www.zoo.org/forestsforall.

    List of ACE for Wildlife Network Partner Organizations

    Akron Zoo, Alaska SeaLife Center, Blank Park Zoo, Como Park Zoo & Conservatory, Conservation Society of California/Oakland Zoo, Dakota Zoo, Grizzly & Wolf Discovery Center, Henry Vilas Zoo, Idaho Falls Zoo, International Crane Foundation, Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens, Lake Superior Zoo, Minnesota Zoo, NEW Zoo & Adventure Park, Northwest Trek Wildlife Park, Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, Racine Zoo, Red River Zoo, Roosevelt Park Zoo, San Diego Wildlife Alliance, Seattle Aquarium, Saint Louis Zoo, Utah’s Hogle Zoo, Zoo Boise, Zoological Society of Milwaukee, ZooMontana

    View the original press release on newswire.com.

    Source: Woodland Park Zoo

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  • How prison dog programs transforms the lives of inmates | Animal Wellness Magazine

    How prison dog programs transforms the lives of inmates | Animal Wellness Magazine

    Discover how prison dog programs help inmates transform their lives through the healing bond with dogs.

    When it comes to the life-changing impact that dogs can have on humans, probably the most striking examples come from prison inmates. These hurt, hardened, embittered individuals frequently respond more positively to dogs than they do to their fellow humans. Thanks to a growing number of prison dog programs, more and more offenders are turning their lives around.

    Insecure attachments can predispose people to criminal activity

    According to attachment theory, babies form a secure attachment to their mothers. Mothers tune into their babies so they can fulfill their needs. Inconsistent care from the mother, however, leads to an insecure attachment.

    “These relationship styles become templates for subsequent bonds,” says Colleen Dell, a professor at the University of Saskatoon who studies the human-animal bond. “Children with secure attachments connect authentically with others. Those with insecure ties are more anxious to belong, and more likely to get involved in criminal activity.”

    Dogs offer non-judgmental support

    This is where dogs come in. By offering non-judgmental comfort and support to prison inmates, a dog becomes a surrogate attachment figure.

    “The dog gives you attention that you didn’t have to do anything for,” Colleen says. “That would be the definition of helpful parenting.”

    Once the dogs gain their trust, offenders tend to open up more to other humans. As testimony, let’s take a look at two prison dog programs — The Doghouse and Marley’s Mutts Pawsitive Change Prison Program. Both programs are howling successes.

    The Doghouse – Fraser Valley Institution, Abbottsford, BC

    Odin is terrified by the unfamiliar noises in the prison – his body is shaking and his tail is between his legs. Inmate Amanda can relate – she too is scared of loud sounds. She takes the dog back to her cottage and cuddles with him until he’s calm. They bond instantly.

    “When I’m comforting Odin,” says Amanda, “he’s also comforting me.”

    Amanda is one of roughly 250 inmates who have participated in The Doghouse, a vocational training program for offenders at the Fraser Valley Institution. The program provides grooming, boarding, and dog training services for the public, and also teaches basic obedience to rescue dogs from the Langley Animal Protection Society. The program also benefits inmates in a huge way.

    Offenders not only learn techniques such as recognizing animal body language and practicing dog first aid, but also acquire skills such as communication, discipline and responsibility, according to Alicia Santella, manager of the program. These abilities can transfer into any job they pursue upon release.

    Amanda never had the opportunity to gain soft skills. Now 38, she grew up neglected by her parents, who favored her siblings.

    “I just felt alone all the time,” she says. Incarceration made her feel even lonelier, as she became estranged from her relatives. She grew deeply depressed and rarely left her room.

    But the Doghouse prison dog program snapped her out of her doldrums. The woman who used to sleep in every day now rises at dawn to feed the dogs in the kennel. Her people skills have improved, and she’s now able to handle “difficult” co-workers. Most importantly, the dogs have affirmed Amanda’s intrinsic worth.

    “They just love me, no matter what I do,” she says.

    Program participants’ self-worth rises alongside their accomplishments, adds Alicia. Most of The Doghouse’s clients are pleased with the superior care their dogs receive, and contact with supportive members of the public “can help build [the inmates’] confidence in themselves,” Alicia says.

    Amanda has blossomed since joining The Doghouse. Many clients have praised her work, telling her their dogs don’t want to leave her care and come home. Amanda has also forged some close relationships amongst her fellow dog-lovers, some of whom she now considers her new family.

    “I’m happier,” she says. “I’m smiling all the time.”

    Marley’s Mutts Pawsitive Change Prison Program – North Kern State Prison, Delano, CA 

    Burly inmate Melvin struts across the yard at North Kern State Prison and encounters a rare situation – a creature who defies him. Leila, his first dog in Marley’s Mutts Pawsitive Change Prison Program, is an unruly poodle who barks at staff and tackles other animals. Melvin reins her in by teaching her to sit still on a mat during the dogs’ playtime. He earns Leila’s obedience, and discovers how to mold an animal using connection rather than coercion.

    This prison dog program, which pairs death row dogs in shelters with incarcerated inmates inside California state prisons, has brought redemption to over 1,000 humans and more than 500 dogs.

    During the 14-week program, inmate students learn dog training techniques. The rehabilitation is bi-directional. The under-socialized dogs are mostly unadoptable and slated for euthanasia when they first enter the Pawsitive Change program, according to founder Zach Skow. But by the end, they’ve become model canine citizens and most find forever homes.

    Meanwhile, the inmates learn empathy as they recognize themselves in their abandoned and often abused charges. Empathy was in short supply during Melvin’s childhood. He was only five when his father was murdered.

    “That left me with a void,” he says, and an “unbearable pain” that he suppressed. But the loss made him more vulnerable to peer pressure, and at age 11, he joined a gang that schooled him in drug-dealing and violence. “If I had to make a statement, it wasn’t by talking,” says Melvin.

    The Pawsitive Change program challenges these machismo attitudes. It teaches inmates how to access troubling emotions such as sadness or anger before they transmit them to the dogs, says Zach. When students are faced with unproductive feelings, they’re encouraged to process them by talking to a teammate or just taking a break.

    Students also learn to tune in to the dogs’ experiences. If a dog becomes aggressive when touched, for example, inmates are invited to view this as a manifestation of fear rather than a personal insult, says dog trainer Nhut Vo. Students learn to accommodate these frightened animals, using a longer leash to give them more space. This flexible approach to relationships can also be applied to human interactions, Nhut advises.

    As his successes mounted, Melvin’s self-esteem increased. Watching the dogs improve kindled hope in his own ability to change.

    The work also fostered a sense of purpose. Even though he was still in prison, Melvin had found a way to “give back,” he says. “It was fulfilling.”

    Collaboration is another outcome of the Pawsitive Change program. While the prison system is racially segregated, the participants have to cooperate to train the animals, says Nhut. Inmates frequently pool their money to buy treats for the dogs and celebrate their adoptions with brownies.

    These lessons have generated impressive outcomes. Most graduates of this prison dog program find work in the pet industry after they’re released, says Zach. Not one has reoffended.

    Today, Melvin is thriving. Since his release from prison eight months ago, he’s reconnected with his family and procured work as a dog trainer. “I’m thankful just to be in the sun, watching dogs play,” he says. “It’s beautiful.”

    dog smiling with thriving inmate in prisoner dog program

     


    Post Views: 42


    Vivien Fellegi

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  • 6 Common Factors Behind All Successful Therapy

    6 Common Factors Behind All Successful Therapy

    According to “common factors theory,” the essence of successful therapy lies in shared core elements, and the differences between therapeutic approaches are often less important than fulfilling these fundamental criteria.

    One frequent question people ask themselves when they first decide to seek therapy is, “What type of therapy should I get?”

    There are many different types of talk therapy to choose from. Often specific types of therapy are geared toward specific mental disorders. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is common for depression and anxiety disorders, Dialectic Behavioral Therapy is common for bipolar and mood disorders, and EMDR is common among those with PTSD.

    How much do these therapies differ? How much does it matter?

    One interesting idea in psychology is “common factors theory.” The basic premise is that effective therapy isn’t necessarily based on any specific type of therapeutic tool or technique, but rather there are underlying factors behind all therapies that make them successful.

    Many therapeutic systems have been invented over the past century. Today, every popular therapist or coach has their own trademarked brand that’s sold as the absolute best approach to mental health.

    The less glamorous truth is that most successful therapies aren’t special. There’s significant overlap between different approaches, with a couple extra bells and whistles. However, at the end of the day the biggest reason they are successful is because they all meet fundamental criteria.

    Below you’ll learn more about these “common factors” behind successful therapy, including: collaboration, empathy, alliance, positive regard, genuineness, and individual differences.

    6 Common Factors Behind All Successful Therapy

    One interesting study identified 6 common factors behind all “evidence-based” therapy. They also calculated estimates on how much each factor contributed to the overall variability of therapeutic outcomes.

    Here are the 6 common factors behind all successful therapy:

    • Goal consensus / collaboration (11.5%) – The most important factor is that both the therapist and client share the same goal and they’re willing to work together to achieve it. A goal can be anything from managing negative emotions, to stopping bad habits, to improving communication skills. If their goals mismatch (such as the client not wanting to change or the therapist wanting to go in a different direction), then it’ll be difficult if not impossible to make any progress. Both people need to be on the same page.
    • Empathy (9%) – The therapist must have a clear understanding of who their patient is and where they are coming from. This means being aware of their current thoughts and feelings, but also learning a comprehensive history of that patient’s past experiences and background. We build empathy by seeking knowledge and understanding about another person. Don’t try to guess, label, or project where someone is coming from. Ask questions and learn. A therapist must treat each person as their own individual case. A scientific study of n=1. Every person has a unique story and a therapist’s job is to learn each person’s story.
    • Alliance (7.5%) – Both therapist and client must see their relationship as a partnership where each puts in equal effort to realize their shared goal. For the therapist, this means providing advice, encouragement, compliments, and constructive feedback. For the client, this means putting in work outside of the therapy session (in everyday life) so they actually see changes and results. A healthy alliance requires three main components: 1) A shared bond between therapist and client, 2) Agreement about the goals of therapy, and 3) Agreement about the tasks to achieve it (practical advice, tips, suggestions, exercises, homework). Therapy has to be viewed as more than just talking once per week, but rather an impetus to work together, create a plan, and achieve real progress.
    • Positive regard / affirmation (7.3%) – It’s important that the therapist treats the patient with optimism, positivity, compliments, and encouragement. While a therapist sometimes needs to provide critical and constructive feedback, they should generally promote the patient’s self-esteem and core values. If a therapist tries to fundamentally change something about a person that they don’t want to, there’s naturally going to be conflict and difficulties. One idea known as unconditional positive regard was popularized by the humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers. He highlighted the importance of being agreeable and respectful toward the patient’s core beliefs, values, and goals (even if you disagree with them). Rogers saw therapy as a tool to encourage self-discovery and self-awareness, not tell a patient exactly how they should live their life.
    • Congruence / genuineness (5.7%) – Both the therapist and patient need to be open, genuine, and authentic. If the patient feels the therapist is just “putting on an act” or “pretending to be nice,” they are going to want to pullback and disengage from the process. A good therapist needs to be just as vulnerable as the patient. This means sharing relevant thoughts and feelings, being honest and matter-of-fact, and being willing to express emotions when appropriate. One telltale sign of incongruence is when there is a mismatch in body language (including posture, facial expressions, or tone of voice). If a therapist’s words don’t match their body language, the patient likely won’t develop any trust or rapport.
    • Therapist differences (5%) – The last important factor, which may be beyond our control, is personality differences between the therapist and client. Not everyone is designed to get along with everyone, and sometimes the therapist and patient are just too different when it comes to attitude, temperament, background, or lifestyle. Many therapy sessions don’t work out simply because the therapist/patient relationship doesn’t seem to mesh right. This is why it’s recommended that a person tries out multiple therapists when first starting out. Then they can find someone that fits with their personality and a therapist to commit to long-term.

    These are the 6 most common factors behind successful therapy. They account for ~50% of the total variability in therapeutic outcomes, so there are still many other factors at play.

    In truth, different types of therapies have their advantages and disadvantages, and certain approaches may work better for some and not at all for others.

    Regardless of the system, successful therapy often needs to meet the basic requirements listed above. Without these common factors being met, no technique or approach is going to work.

    A Warning on Overspecialized Therapy

    A therapist needs to be flexible in their approach and try not to force fit everyone into their preferred model.

    The more a person is trained and/or educated on a specific field in psychology, the more they seem to be “locked in” to only one way of observing the human condition. They don’t talk to people as human beings at face value, but instead think, “How does this person fit into my cognitive/behavioral/psychodynamic/evolutionary model?”

    Expertise (and overspecialization) can narrow vision. A certain element of beginner’s mind is the best approach to therapy. Start with the basic questions, “Who is this person? What do they care about? What makes them tick? What do they want to change?”

    Assume nothing and ask questions. Learn about the person from scratch. Connect to them human-to-human and see where it goes.

    More concerning, certain therapies have become popularized and over-hyped in recent years. They’ve turned into commercial brands. “Cognitive-behavioral therapy” has become a buzzword in many circles because the average person associates it with the only “evidence-based” therapy.

    Of course I’m not against specific therapies. I’ve learned a lot of helpful tools and techniques from various systems (including CBT) that I still practice today.

    At the end of the day, I’m a pragmatist, so there’s almost no therapy, treatment, medication, or technique I’m 100% for or against. If it helps just one person, then it’s that much effective.

    However, in general, a good therapist needs to have a comprehensive understanding of how humans work. Tools and techniques can be in your back-pocket, but first and foremost you need to approach people as individual human beings seeking growth.

    Successful therapy can’t be reduced to a checklist.

    The Gloria Tapes: 3 Therapeutic Approaches

    This topic reminds me of an old series of videos known as the Gloria Tapes.

    It was an educational film made in the 1960s to teach psychology students the differences between therapeutic approaches.

    The series follows a single patient, Gloria, who receives therapy from three distinguished psychologists of the time: Carl Rogers, Fritz Perls, and Albert Ellis.

    The therapy is limited since it’s only one session each, but you can get a good understanding of the radically different approaches by each therapist.

    You can watch each of the sessions here:

    Each of these videos reveals a different approach to therapy.

    Albert Ellis is most aligned with modern cognitive and rational-based approaches. Carl Rogers has a more gentle and humanistic approach. Fritz Perls has a direct and provocative approach (almost to the point of bullying).

    If I remember correctly, the patient Gloria felt the most comfortable with Rogers, but she actually went for a second session with Perls. I don’t know how to interpret that – it’s possible she felt “unfinished business” with Perls or she simply enjoyed arguing with him.

    None of this says anything about “successful therapy.” Just one session isn’t adequate to measure “success” vs. “failure” when it comes to a long-term process like self-growth. However, these examples will give you a taste for the different types of therapies out there.

    Ultimately, successful therapy depends on both therapist and patient. The most important factor is to have a healthy, working relationship and a “build together” attitude. Once you have that foundation, anything is possible.


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    Steven Handel

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  • How to Help a Marriage in Crisis: A Guide to Nurturing Love and Understanding

    How to Help a Marriage in Crisis: A Guide to Nurturing Love and Understanding

    Facing a problem in your marriage can feel like navigating a ship through a storm. 

    It’s a time filled with uncertainty, emotional turbulence, and the fear of losing what you’ve built together.

    Imagine a scenario where one spouse has been so caught up in their career that they’ve unintentionally neglected their spouse, leading to feelings of loneliness and abandonment in their spouse. 

    Or another situation where one spouse has become a little too close to someone of the opposite sex, resulting in the emotions of jealousy and betrayal.

    Although these scenarios happen all the time, they can escalate into a serious marital crisis if not addressed with care and mutual respect. 

    If you’re searching for ways to help a marriage in crisis, know that you’re not alone in this. 

    The path ahead might seem daunting. But with the right approach, you can steer your relationship back to calmer waters.

    It’s about taking that first step towards understanding and healing, together.

    Get the help your marriage needs today – explore our workshops and resources to save your relationship.

    How to Help a Marriage in Crisis

    Trying to fix a marriage in crisis can be daunting, especially if you want to win back your spouse and rebuild an already fragile relationship.

    While there’s no magic potion to instantly save your marriage, here are 5 ways to help you get started.

    1. Empathize with Each Other’s Feelings

    To empathize effectively, you need to listen actively and attentively. 

    It’s about being fully present in the conversation and making a conscious effort to understand your spouse’s feelings.

    Empathy also requires openness and vulnerability. 

    Sharing your own feelings in an honest and non-confrontational way can encourage your spouse to do the same. 

    This reciprocity creates a safe space where both spouses can feel heard and valued.

    However, empathy is not always easy, especially in times of personal distress or intense emotions. 

    It might be challenging to understand your spouse when you are feeling hurt or misunderstood yourself. 

    Yet, it is in these challenging times that empathy becomes most vital. It has the power to break down walls of resentment and pave the way for genuine connection and healing.

    2. Spend More Quality Time Together

    In our busy lives, it’s easy for couples to drift apart. 

    The reason isn’t always that your spouse no longer loves you. Often, it’s because you don’t spend as much time together as you used to.

    Putting more effort into quality time with your spouse is a powerful antidote to feelings of loneliness.

    For example, you can schedule regular date nights to dedicate time exclusively to each other. 

    These dates don’t have to be extravagant. It could be as simple as a quiet dinner at home, a walk in the park, or exploring a new hobby together. 

    What matters is that you are both present and engaged with each other.

    Quality time also includes those small, mundane moments that offer opportunities for connection and teamwork. 

    For instance, making a meal together, enjoying a quiet coffee in the morning, or even doing household chores.

    3. Encourage Regular and Intentional Conversations

    Setting aside time for regular and meaningful conversations is crucial in reigniting trust and intimacy in your marriage.

    Start by discussing the simple things – how your day went, what you encountered, and how it made you feel. 

    These daily check-ins create a routine of sharing each other’s lives and reinforce the partnership in your marriage.

    But don’t stop at the surface level. 

    Share your dreams, aspirations, and even your fears. Talk about the things that move you, inspire you, and worry you. 

    This kind of sharing invites your spouse into your inner world. 

    It’s an opportunity to know and be known on a deeper level, beyond the daily routines.

    4. Seek Guidance from Professionals

    Before you ask for help, it’s important to calm down and gain clarity on the specific issues you want to resolve. 

    This reflection can help you articulate your concerns more effectively during counseling. 

    It will also stop you from doing anything that can further harm your relationship with your spouse, like impulsively sending an emotionally loaded text or begging them to work on your problems.

    Marriage coaches are trained to uncover underlying problems, facilitate effective communication, and help couples develop strategies for healing and growth.

    They offer a perspective that is both informed and neutral.

    Organizations like Marriage Helper use a research-based approach to addressing marital challenges. 

    Our methods focus on comprehensive, empathetic guidance with structured steps to rebuild and strengthen a marriage. 

    In seeking professional help, you can access the right tools and support to find your way back to a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

    5. Move Forward with Patience and Forgiveness

    Healing and forgiveness don’t happen overnight. 

    It takes time before you can stabilize a marriage in crisis.

    During the process, remember that every positive step, no matter how small, makes a difference.

    You just need to be patient with yourself and your spouse to forgive.

    Aim to pull your spouse in rather than push them away.

    These actions might include thoughtful gestures, words of appreciation, or simply offering a listening ear.

    But it’s equally about the things you don’t do. 

    For instance, don’t be aggressive and confrontational. This will only drive away your spouse instead of encouraging them to come to you.

    Forgiveness, in harmony with this positive ‘pull,’ fosters an environment where love can re-grow.

    What are The Signs of an Unhappy Marriage?

    The signs of an unhappy marriage include emotional disconnection, breakdown of communication, and sudden changes in a spouse’s lifestyle or worldview.

    If you’re experiencing any of these with your spouse, don’t panic.

    There’s always something you can try before giving up on your marriage.

    You just need to look at the signs and figure out the next best move.

    Emotional Disconnect

    Emotional disconnection is more than just going through a “rough patch.” 

    It’s a profound sense of drifting apart where the deep bond you once cherished with your spouse seems to be fading away.

    This feeling can manifest itself in several ways:

    Lack of empathy

    One or both spouses no longer show the same level of concern or understanding for each other’s feelings and experiences. It might feel like living with a stranger rather than with someone who deeply understands you.

    Absence of emotional support

    During times of stress or hardship, you or your spouse may feel increasingly alone, unable to lean on each other for comfort or reassurance. This isolation within the relationship can lead to a sense of loneliness even when you’re physically together.

    Breakdown of physical intimacy

    Affectionate gestures, touch, and sexual intimacy might decrease or feel like a chore. You and your spouse may lack the warmth and attachment that marked the earlier stages of your relationship.

    Communication Breakdown

    Where once you might have shared stories about your day, your dreams, or your worries, there is now an unspoken void. 

    Conversations become purely transactional, focusing only on day-to-day necessities like schedules or household chores.

    As this pattern continues, misunderstandings can take root and grow. 

    These aren’t just simple miscommunications that can be easily resolved. 

    They indicate a deeper issue where both spouses may feel misunderstood, unheard, or even disregarded. 

    In some cases, this breakdown leads to the avoidance of communication altogether. 

    The fear of arguments or the belief that it won’t make a difference leads to a retreat into silence.

    When words fail and understanding fades, the very essence of your connection is at stake.

    Changes in Lifestyle and Worldview

    While change is a natural part of life, it becomes a problem when it leads to a growing chasm between spouses.

    The issue isn’t the change itself, but how it’s managed within the context of the relationship. 

    If these changes lead to spouses feeling like they are living parallel but separate lives, it affects the core unity of your marriage.

    Changes in career paths are a common example.

    One spouse may start a new job that demands more time and energy. Perhaps the job offers a different level of financial stability that can alter the couple’s dynamics. 

    This shift can lead to adjustments in roles and expectations within the marriage. 

    Sometimes, it can cause stress or resentment if not approached thoughtfully.

    Take the Next Step to Help Your Marriage

    Choosing to heal and strengthen your marriage takes courage. 

    At Marriage Helper, we are dedicated to supporting you every step of the way. 

    Our workshops offer focused and transformative guidance for you and your spouse – even if you’re separated or your spouse wants out.

    For ongoing support, you can join our online membership. It’s a platform with an interactive community and educational resources, all aimed at nurturing and sustaining a healthy, loving relationship.

    Join us today, and take the first step to saving your marriage.

    Marriage Helper

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  • Past, Present, and Future: Lessons from A Christmas Carol

    Past, Present, and Future: Lessons from A Christmas Carol

    From ‘Bah, humbug!’ to redemption: Charles Dickens’ ‘A Christmas Carol’ unfolds as more than just a festive fable, offering profound insights into self-discovery, kindness, and rewriting one’s life story.

    Charles Dickens’ timeless classic, “A Christmas Carol,” isn’t just a heartwarming tale of holiday spirit; it’s a profound exploration of human psychology and the power of personal transformation.

    Many of us have heard the story before through countless movie and TV adaptations, especially the infamous Scrooge, whose name has now become a common insult toward those who fight against the holiday spirit of joy, kindness, and charity.

    If you’re interested, you can read the original 1843 novella A Christmas Carol for free at Project Gutenberg. There are also many free audiobooks you can find and listen to.

    The story opens the day before Christmas with Ebenezer Scrooge at work, a strict businessman who is described as miserable, lonely, and greedy, without any close friends or companions. His nephew visits, wishes him a cheerily “Merry Christmas!” and invites him to spend dinner with his family, but Scrooge rudely brushes off the kind gesture and responds with his trademark phrase “Bah humbug!”

    Scrooge’s cynical and negative attitude is on full display in the opening chapter. “He carried his own low temperature always about with him.” In one instance where he is asked to donate money to help the poor, the wealthy Scrooge asks, “Aren’t there prisons? Aren’t there workhouses?” and then complains about the “surplus population.”

    It’s clear that Scrooge’s only concerns and core values in life are money and wealth. If it doesn’t help his profits or bottom line then he doesn’t care about it, especially the well-being of others which he claims is “none of his business.”

    The archetype of Scrooge is more relevant today than ever, especially in our corporatized world where rich elites isolate themselves from the rest of society while income inequality, crime, and economic woes continue to rise for the average person. Dickens observed early signs of increased materialism, narcissism, and greed almost two hundred years ago, but these unhealthy instincts have only grown rapidly since then. Social media has particularly warped people’s perceptions of wealth, status, and fame, which has in turn blinded us to many other important values in life.

    In many cases people like Scrooge live lonely and miserable lives until they die, clinging to their money as they are lowered into their graves. However the story of “A Christmas Carol” provides hope and inspiration that people can change their paths in life if they are given the necessary insight and wisdom.

    As the well-known tale goes, Scrooge is haunted by 3 benevolent spirits on consecutive nights (The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future), each teaching him an essential lesson on what really matters in life.

    This breakdown of past, present, and future creates a complete picture of one’s life. It’s a powerful framework to spark self-growth in any person. Once we reevaluate where we’ve been, where we are, and where we want to go, we have a much clearer idea on what the right path forward is.

    Keep in mind you don’t need to be religious to reap the benefits of this story. Its lessons are universal. While there are supernatural and spiritual elements, the wisdom is real and tangible.

    Introduction: The Ghost of Marley

    Before Scrooge is visited by the three spirits, he encounters the ghost of his former business partner Marley who had died seven years ago.

    The ghost of Marley is shown to be in a type of purgatory, aimlessly roaming the town, entangled in many heavy chains with cash-boxes, keys, padlocks, ledgers, deeds, and heavy purses made out of steel, representing a lifetime of greed and selfishness:

      “I wear the chain I forged in life,” replied the Ghost. “I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it. Is its pattern strange to you?”

      “Or would you know,” pursued the Ghost, “the weight and length of the strong coil you bear yourself? It was full as heavy and as long as this, seven Christmas Eves ago. You have laboured on it, since. It is a ponderous chain!”

    The ghost lets Scrooge know that his actions have far-reaching consequences too. He will suffer a similar fate if he doesn’t change his ways, but there’s still hope for redemption! He then leaves, announcing to Scrooge that he will soon be visited by three spirits that will guide him to a better path.

    Marley’s ghost serves as a warning, but also a sign of hope.

    The Ghosts of the Past: Forgiving Your Former Self

    Scrooge’s first encounter is with the “Ghost of Christmas Past,” who serves as a poignant reminder that we must confront our history to understand our present.

    The Ghost of Christmas Past transports Scrooge through various memories he had as a child and young adult, showing his psychological development over time.

    The first scene brings Scrooge back to his childhood town, where he is immediately rushed with feelings of nostalgia, cheerfulness, and joy. These positive memories depict a very different Scrooge from present, revealing his once optimistic and hopeful disposition. What happened to him since?

    The memories begin to grow darker. Multiple scenes show Scrooge spending Christmas alone as a young child, one time being left by himself at boarding school while his friends were celebrating the holidays with family, and another time sitting solitarily by the fire reading. Scrooge begins to shed tears and show sympathy toward his former, abandoned self.

    One of the most pivotal memories is when young adult Scrooge is speaking with his past lover. She notices a fundamental change in him that has become a dealbreaker in their relationship.

      “You fear the world too much,” she answered, gently…”I have seen your nobler aspirations fall off one-by-one, until the master-passion, Gain, engrosses you…”

    She sees that money has become Scrooge’s God which he puts above all other values, including love. The young woman continues…

      “Our contract is an old one. It was made when we were both poor and content to be so, until, in good season, we could improve our worldly fortune by our patient industry. You are changed. When it was made, you were another man.”

    Here we begin to see Scrooge’s hardening into the man he is in the present.

    His pursuit of wealth as his main source of comfort and satisfaction has damaged his relationship beyond repair. The lover sees no other option but for them to go their separate ways. The memory deeply pains Scrooge and he cries out for the ghost to show him no more.

    In truth we are all a product of our past, including our environment and the choices we make in life. Scrooge has clearly gone through hardships and taken wrong turns that have influenced where he finds himself today; but it’s not too late.

    The Ghost of Christmas Past forced Scrooge to remember events that he had long forgotten, neglected, or ignored because they were too painful to think about. While these old memories cannot be altered, you have to accept your past, be honest with yourself, and forgive yourself if you want to learn, grow, and change for the better.

    One of the main lessons here is that you need to take responsibility for the past before you can take power over the future. Scrooge is suffering, but he’s learning.

    Making the Most of the Present: Opportunities for Joy and Kindness

    Scrooge’s next encounter is with the “Ghost of Christmas Present,” who teaches Scrooge all the opportunities for good that cross his path every single day.

    The spirit is colorfully dressed with holly, mistletoe, berries, turkeys, sausages, oysters, pies, puddings, fruit, and punch surrounding him, a representation of the simple pleasures in life we can all learn to appreciate, savor, and be grateful for.

    First, the Ghost of Christmas Present takes Scrooge for a walk outside in the town during Christmas Day, observing all the happiness, zest, and cheer overflowing through the streets. Everyone from all backgrounds is enjoying the festivities.

    When two people bump into each other and start a small fight, the ghost sprinkles a magical substance on them which instantly ends the argument and brings both back to a more joyful demeanor.

      “Once or twice when there were angry words between some dinner-carriers who had jostled each other, he shed a few drops of water on them, and their good humour was restored directly. For they said, it was a shame to quarrel upon Christmas Day. And so it was! God love it, so it was!”

    On Christmas, all fights are optional.

    The ghost then leads Scrooge to the home of Bob Cratchit, his current employee who he often treats poorly. Here Scrooge is introduced to Bob’s sick and disabled son Tiny Tim, who despite his illness is still excited to spend holiday time with the family. The poor family makes the most of the limited food and time they have together, including a fake “goose” dinner made out of apple sauce and mashed potatoes.

    Scrooge looks on in sympathy and wishes he could do more to help them. He asks the spirit about the current state of Tiny Tim’s health:

      “Spirit,” said Scrooge, with an interest he never felt before, “tell me if Tiny Tim will live.”

      “I see a vacant seat,” replied the Ghost, “in the poor chimney-corner, and a crutch without an owner, carefully preserved. If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, the child will die.”

    In another scene, Scrooge is transported to the home of his sister’s family, the same party his nephew invited him to the previous day. Everyone in the household is enjoying the Christmas holiday while singing, dancing, and playing games. Several times Scrooge is brought up in conversation and everyone can only laugh and shrug at Scrooge’s relentless misery and gloom.

      “A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to the old man, whatever he is!” said Scrooge’s nephew. “He wouldn’t take it from me, but may he have it nonetheless. Uncle Scrooge!”

    Scrooge knows that these events and perceptions by others are part of his own doing.

    At every turn, Scrooge denies taking advantage of daily opportunities for happiness, including rejecting a group of children singing carols, responding rudely to acquaintances (“Bah humbug!”), and refusing to give to charities or help others when it’s fully in his power.

    These events are small, but they build up over time. Whenever Scrooge is given a choice between kindness vs. coldness, he chooses to be cold. After enough tiny social interactions, Scrooge has cemented his reputation around town as being the miserable miser.

    Can he still change it?

    The Shadows of the Future: Shaping Tomorrow Today

    The final spirit Scrooge meets is the “Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come” or the “Ghost of Christmas Future.” This ghost blends in with the darkness of the night, wearing a long black robe that covers their entire face and body, except for a boney hand it uses to silently point.

    The ghost begins by showing men on the streets joking and laughing about someone who has just passed away. At a pawn shop, robbers are selling stolen property they recently seized from the dead man’s estate, saying it’s for the best since the items will no longer serve any use to him. Scrooge, perplexed by the meaning of these scenes, intently watches on. Another man jokes:

      “It’s likely to be a very cheap funeral, for upon my life I don’t know of anybody to go to it.”

    Scene by scene, people show ambivalence toward the death. Scrooge grows frustrated and asks:

      “If there is any person in the town who feels emotion caused by this man’s death, show that person to me. Spirit, I beseech you!”

    Now they see a family that was in debt to the dead man, and they are feeling humble gratitude and quiet glee that they no longer have to worry themselves about such an evil creditor:

      “Yes. Soften it as they would, their hearts were lighter. The children’s faces, hushed and clustered round to hear what they so little understood, were brighter; and it was a happier house for this man’s death! The only emotion that the Ghost could show him, caused by the event, was one of pleasure.”

    Already having suspicions on who this man is, Scrooge begs the ghost to finally reveal where his future lies. The ghost travels to a graveyard and points at a tombstone that upon inspection reads: Ebenezer Scrooge

    Scrooge’s heart sinks. Next it’s shown that Tiny Tim hasn’t recovered from his illness and has also passed away, and at such a young age. Feeling completely hopeless at this point, Scrooge desperately begs:

      “Answer me one question. Are these the shadows of the things that Will be, or are they shadows of things that May be, only?”

      “Men’s courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead. But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change. Say it is thus with what you show me!”

    As long as you’re alive and breathing, you have the power to change.

    When we think about death, it puts everything about life into perspective. Our time is finite in this world and we must make the most of it without being distracted by trivialities and lesser values. If you were laying on your deathbed right now, what would your main regrets be?

    When Scrooge reflects on his own death and what influence he’d leave on the world, it shakes him at his core – but also transforms him.

    The Power of Redemption: Transforming Scrooge’s Tale into Our Own

    After the visitations of the three ghosts, Scrooge wakes up a changed man ready to start his new life. He rises from bed excited, hopeful, and giddy that he’s still alive and still has a chance to change his current course.

    Upon finding out it’s still Christmas Day, he buys a prize turkey to send to the Cratchit family and begins giving generous amounts of money to children and the poor. He continues to walk around the town square, giving everyone warm greetings and a hearty “Merry Christmas!”

    When he sees Bob Cratchit the next day at work, he immediately gives him a raise in salary and promises to take care of Tiny Tim and assist the family in anyway possible. He becomes a lifelong friend to the family.

    This sudden change in Scrooge’s behavior confused the townsfolk at first, including many who made fun of this rapid transformation that was so uncharacteristic of Scrooge. But these words and gossip didn’t bother him:

      “Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter[…] His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.”

    At its core, “A Christmas Carol” is a story of redemption and heroism. Scrooge’s journey from miserly recluse to benevolent samaritan exemplifies the human capacity for change.

    By reflecting on his past, present, and future self, Scrooge discovered the best path forward – a process that applies to all forms of self-improvement.

    This story has insightful lessons that can apply to anyone’s life, no matter what situation they find themselves in. We can’t change the past chapters, but we can change how our story ends.

    Never forget you have the power to rewrite your life story at any time.


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    Steven Handel

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  • How to Make High-Priced Products Accessible to Working-Class Families | Entrepreneur

    How to Make High-Priced Products Accessible to Working-Class Families | Entrepreneur

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    There are times when products are inherently expensive. Homes are a classic example. So are vehicles. In those cases, the constant human needs for shelter and transportation have created natural solutions in the form of mortgages and auto loans.

    But what about companies outside of staple product niches? Here are three examples of how companies with high-priced products designed for larger consumer markets can make them accessible to working-class families.

    Leasing expensive equipment to customers

    Leasing is a classic business model. It involves renting an asset under a contractual agreement at a certain price for a set amount of time.

    When leasing comes up, it’s usually referencing major assets such as a house or car. However, it’s completely possible to lease a wide variety of additional products.

    Related: 5 Major Leasing Deal Points to Know Before Signing a Lease

    One example of this is solar panels. NerdWallet reports that the average solar panel installation can cost as much as $35,000. The renewable source of energy can save money over time, but its barrier to entry is inhibitive and has made solar power inaccessible to lower-income homeowners for over a decade.

    Some companies aim to combat this by leasing solar panel systems to homeowners. The end result is lower energy bills that ideally cover both the leased equipment and reduce the original cost of energy for the home.

    This approach to solar panel installation saves consumers tens of thousands of dollars in up-front fees. This makes it possible for homeowners to tap into the long-term savings of solar power without breaking the bank in the process. The same model is easy to reproduce for any brand that has a solid product and enough capital or investors to front the cash for equipment.

    Related: How to Invest In Real Estate Amid High Interest Rates and Inflation

    Offering interest-free payments

    Interest is a major detracting factor that makes larger purchases unappealing. For example, if an individual purchases a car in New York and takes out a five-year $25,000 auto loan at 5% interest, they’ll end up paying over $2,600 more in interest.

    Broken down over 60 months, this is nearly $45 per month in interest alone. To a working-class family, this is a legitimate cost that they must factor into their financial plans.

    Savvy companies that sell big-ticket items have caught onto the toll that interest payments take on their customers. Some have opted to offer interest-free payments as an alternative.

    Home Depot, for instance, regularly offers its customers coupons for 12-month and even 24-month interest-free financing. The Home Depot credit card also provides a round-the-clock six-month interest-free financing option. That means a customer can hold a balance with the company for that entire period (whether it’s six, 12 or 24 months). As long as they pay off the total before the payment period ends, they won’t pay a penny in interest.

    This model assumes a certain degree of risk on the part of the company. However, when managed well, the interest-free financing model more than makes up for the risks in the amount of larger purchases it encourages from those customers with limited up-front funding.

    Breaking things into smaller bundles and á la carte pricing

    Sometimes, a grouped product selection can push something out of reach of working-class family budgets. When this is the case, splitting a product up into multiple components can help reduce the financial barrier to entry.

    The exorbitant cost of cable television is a good example of this issue. Cable provider Spectrum has found a solution to the problem of its excessively priced full television packages by offering its Spectrum TV Choice bundle.

    This allows users to choose from a variety of channels to fill up a smaller quota of total channels. They can change their selection once a month, making the arrangement sustainable and accessible.

    Not all products come in individual pieces. Whenever that is the case, though, companies should consider innovative ways to repackage the individual components to make them accessible to customers without losing their collective value.

    Related: How Businesses Can Empower Consumers to Make Sustainable Choices

    Making high-priced products accessible to everyday consumers

    The middle class in America is able to make larger purchases. But they cannot do so with the same laissez-faire attitude as those with ample wealth and disposable income.

    Companies that want to market higher-priced products to middle-class consumers must be willing to find unique and innovative ways to help them make a purchase. From leasing and financing options to á la carte and “buffet style” offerings, consider how you can make your brand’s big-ticket items accessible to your target audience.

    Rashan Dixon

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  • Study: Cannabis Users’ Empathy-Focused Brain Regions Have Stronger Connectivity | High Times

    Study: Cannabis Users’ Empathy-Focused Brain Regions Have Stronger Connectivity | High Times

    A bulk of cannabis users will attest to the fact that weed can indeed bring people together and help better foster a sense of mutual understanding and respect with one another. Science is just now catching up to in regard to a number of long-held anecdotal understandings surrounding cannabis use, with cannabis and empathy among one of the more recent topics of interest.

    Namely, a new study published in the Journal of Neuroscience Research took a closer look at regular cannabis users, ultimately finding that they do indeed tend to have a better understanding of the emotions of others. 

    The study, titled “Empathy-related differences in the anterior cingulate functional connectivity of regular cannabis users when compared to controls,” also found, through brain imaging tests, that cannabis users had stronger connectivity with brain regions involved with sensing the emotional states of others.

    Analyzing Empathy Through Test Scores and Brain Scans

    In the study abstract, investigators note reports of cannabis having an effect on the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), a structure in the brain responsible for mediating the empathic response. To test whether or not cannabis use has an effect on the ACC and empathy, researchers compared the psychometric scores of empathy subscales between 85 regular cannabis users and 51 non-consumers as a control group.

    Researchers applied the Cognitive and Affective Empathy Test, analyzing the empathic ability of subjects. Ultimately, cannabis users showed higher scores in the Emotional Comprehension scales of the psychometric testing than the control group.

    The study also included a subset of 46 users and 34 non-users who underwent MRI exams to examine the functional connectivity (FC) of the ACC in cannabis users compared to controls. Upon analysis, regular cannabis users showed greater connectivity between the ACC and the pre-posterior central gyrus, a part of the frontal lobe. Cannabis users also showed greater connectivity between the ACC and the left anterior insula, which supports subjective feeling states, than the control group.

    Cannabis Use as a Means to Increased Empathy

    In examining the Cognitive and Affective Empathy Test findings, researchers note, “Emotional comprehension is a construct of cognitive empathy related to the capacity to recognize and comprehend others’ emotional states.” They also cite that this difference is consistent with previous research on adjacent topics, notably that cannabis use tends to correlate with a higher ability to detect others’ feelings and create a greater understanding of emotions and a more empathetic predisposition to others’ situations.

    “This difference in emotional comprehension related to their representation of the emotional state of the other, could be linked to the greater FC between the anterior cingulate cortex with the bilateral somatomotor cortex (SMC) in regular cannabis users when compared to non-users,” researchers wrote.

    Since the ACC is one of the main areas possessing B1 receptors, along with being heavily involved in the representation of affective states of others, researchers affirmed their beliefs that the difference shown by regular cannabis users in MRI scans and emotional comprehension scores “could be related to the use of cannabis,” though they said they cannot discount the possibility that these differences were present before the use of cannabis began.

    Another Affirmation of a Long-Held Truth Within the Cannabis Community

    “Although further research is needed, these results open an exciting new window for exploring the potential effects of cannabis in aiding treatments for conditions involving deficits in social interactions, such as sociopathy, social anxiety, and avoidant personality disorder, among others,” said said co-author Víctor Olalde-Mathieu, Ph.D., of the Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México.

    Indeed, the research may be another step forward in looking at cannabis, specifically its effect on the mind and social functioning. As researchers noted in the study, their findings also echo previous research looking similarly at the relationship between cannabis use and empathy.

    One study published last year in the journal Scientific Reports measured prosocial behavior, empathy, moral harmlessness and moral fairness among cannabis consumers and non-users, finding that consumers had higher scores. The two groups had no differences in measurements of anger, hostility, trust of others, facial threat interpretation, extraversion, conscientiousness, emotional stability, openness, or moral decision making founded on principles of respecting authority and preserving the concept of purity.

    Keegan Williams

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  • Letters: Auckland CBD, Viv Beck, Labour Day, and Rugby World Cup – Medical Marijuana Program Connection

    Letters: Auckland CBD, Viv Beck, Labour Day, and Rugby World Cup – Medical Marijuana Program Connection

    Corner of Queen St and Fort St in Auckland. Photo / Sylvie Whinray

    Empathy for CBD’s underdogs

    Viv Beck’s concern regarding Auckland’s unsafe streets is not a new topic and largely a result of decades of inactivity due to governmental lack of empathy and a societal

    Original Author Link click here to read complete story..

    MMP News Author

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  • What is an Empathetic Leader? (Plus 3 Tips on How to Become One) | Entrepreneur

    What is an Empathetic Leader? (Plus 3 Tips on How to Become One) | Entrepreneur

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    The massive layoffs in the tech industry earlier this year sparked an interesting conversation here. It’s one I continue to remember long after. Leaders and organizations are often put into positions where difficult decisions that impact others must be made — where employees, vendors, partners and even customers can be affected by our choices.

    Determinations are rarely made by the company’s founder or CEO alone. We don’t typically have ultimate control. It is often the Board of Directors, venture capital investors or shareholders with voting shares. There can be circumstances that are beyond anyone’s control. Significant revenue loss or economic turmoil often force painful decisions.

    Related: A Guide to Effective Crisis Leadership — Key Steps to Lead Your Team Through Turbulent Times

    Yet, when choices have to be made, we usually must deliver the message. When people you’ve worked with closely feel the brunt, it is particularly challenging. We’re not always taught how to navigate hard decisions in business school or what to do when something has a ripple effect on others. What I have found to help is empathetic leadership. When the going gets tough, empathy can carry a lot more weight than might be expected. It can also wield much power far beyond challenges, which can benefit your day-to-day operations and bottom line.

    There are a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings about empathetic leadership. Some see “empathetic” and forget that “leadership” is a significant part. They assume that empathetic leaders are soft or meek. In reality, they are strong, talented people who are highly skilled at driving success – while recognizing the value of people. Empathetic leaders can look at any decision, issue or discussion, and see their business from multiple angles and understand other people’s viewpoints. There are endless examples of this leadership approach having a dynamic impact on organizations.

    At my company, BriteCo, we’ve seen empathy help enable employee retention, drive customer satisfaction and sales, improve innovation and create a supportive work environment and culture. People who feel appreciated and acknowledged want to go to bat or you and your business. Our employees are excited and engaged and want to contribute. They function in a safe environment where everybody feels that they can weigh in. They feel heard and valued, relevant and important. It has also helped us recruit outstanding talent, where people have referred colleagues and former co-workers to us. That culture of empathy has spread to partners, customers, vendors and every aspect of our business. When you’re an empathetic leader, the approach and benefits are felt company-wide.

    It doesn’t mean empathetic leaders do not have to make hard decisions. Cutting jobs, ending vendor contracts, or other determinations that impact people are often still part of the job.

    But, when these instances arise, you are caring for people in the best way possible. For example, a company that I am familiar with had to lay off employees. They approached it by being transparent, caring and honest about the situation. They then opened their professional network to help workers find roles elsewhere. It may not have made the decision any easier, but they knew that they handled it in the best way possible. It helped take away the sting of separation for everyone involved.

    Related: 7 Ways To Stay Resilient As a Leader During Turbulent Times

    For entrepreneurs who are interested in incorporating empathy into their companies, these three steps can help:

    1. Learn – Exploring the principles of servant leadership can be a good starting point. There are books, videos and media articles to help you learn and foster your skills. At its very base, empathetic leadership requires having an open mind and putting value on everybody regardless of who they are or their role in the company.
    2. Care – Empathetic leaders cultivate genuine care for others. They do not just see people as employees, vendors or business partners. They are interested in who they are, their opinions and their perspectives. As they operate and lead their companies, they have everyone in mind and try to tap in. It can take an extra step, but it can be highly valuable.
    3. Listen – Let people give their input and ideas without being judgemental. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Let them say whatever they want to say, and make sure you are really listening. Listen and hear, and take that data and turn it into actual insight. Some of our best ideas originate from conversations with employees, vendors and partners.

    A great example of empathetic leadership in action was a recent story a colleague shared. One of the company’s team members began coming late to work and missing company deadlines. Rather than reprimanding the actions first, the leader at the company asked the employee if something may be causing the issue with their work and performance. It turned out that the employee was navigating a difficult situation in their personal life.

    Related: How to Lead With Resilience, Empathy and Vision Despite an Uncertain Future

    Within that conversation, the two discussed some ideas and tactics the employee could use to help balance their work with life challenges. It also created a bond between the leader and the employee. The employee felt heard and valued. Soon after, the work issues stopped, and the employee has been a top performer. It can be easy to jump to conclusions or assume the worst when problems arise, but often, some causes may not be immediately evident. Empathetic leadership looks for resolutions and solutions in a different way.

    Those who are currently empathetic leaders should continue to strive to expand their abilities. Empathy can sometimes mean acting against your beliefs and putting others ahead of yourself. But, the benefits to your organization and business can be immeasurable.

    Dustin Lemick

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  • How Employers Can Better Support Working Parents and Caregivers | Entrepreneur

    How Employers Can Better Support Working Parents and Caregivers | Entrepreneur

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Despite years of experience juggling progressively demanding roles, I wasn’t prepared for how challenging this fall would be as a marketing executive with a kid starting school for the first time.

    And I’m one of the lucky ones: I work in a company with progressive policies that recognize the unique challenges parents and caregivers face. Nonetheless, this season has been a crash course in adapting to new schedules, managing conflicting emotions and moderating my own expectations of how I show up as a leader and a mom.

    For many parents, the transition to back-to-school for their kids means coping with scheduling conflicts and new demands on their time: from orientations and gradual entry schedules (and the mental and emotional labor that goes along with them), to inevitable sick days and the awkward discrepancy between school dismissal and standard business hours.

    What has become clearer to me is that, in many ways, school is designed for a bygone era when it was the norm that one parent stayed home (which is no longer a reality for many families). Although I am lucky to have a partner who shoulders some of this load, what’s helped the most is having an employer with flexible, family-friendly policies and leaders who understand the reality for working parents.

    I know I’m not alone in navigating the challenges that come with back-to-school season. A recent survey revealed that parents commonly feel overwhelmed at this time of the year. Yet, most employees want to succeed at work while raising kids, and helping them do so increases workplace satisfaction, loyalty and productivity.

    Here are a few steps employers can take to make this transition less overwhelming for parents (and that I believe can be impactful for other caregiving situations as well):

    Related: How Employers Can Help Working Parents Navigate Back-to-School Season

    Normalizing the realities of parenting

    Remember those awkward moments during the early days of remote work when kids popped up on Zoom cameras during meetings? Thankfully, I no longer feel self-conscious when my daughter barges in during a meeting. It’s simply part of being a working parent.

    The pandemic may have shed light on the juggle for employees with kids, but there are still significant challenges for those navigating this experience. One study found that 85% of women leave full-time work within three years of having their first child, and 19% leave work completely due to the lack of flexibility employers afford.

    Employers can support working parents by normalizing and accommodating caregivers’ needs — and their experiences. I’m a huge advocate for parenting out loud in the workplace. It’s one reason I’m proud of our dedicated Slack channel, “#parents-helping-parents,” where anyone can share their caregiving struggles and wins. Not only does it provide an outlet for those facing challenges, but it also offers the rest of the team visibility into the unique situations parents and caregivers face — and inspiration for designing policies around them. Case in point: This year, we were able to be proactive about shifting all leadership meetings for September to accommodate back-to-school demands.

    Related: Tips To Balance Work With Parenting

    Treating employees like the adults they are

    While there are many ways companies can support working parents, the irony is that when designing policies, many employers inadvertently treat their employees like children. Working parents, who are used to making the most of what time they have to get things done, know that flexibility is the ultimate benefit. It’s what has led organizations like ours to measure productivity based on outputs, not hours worked or rigid schedules.

    This flexibility has shown up in other ways as well: When I started in my current role, I was four months pregnant and unsure what that would mean for my future. But the leaders I work with were completely unphased. They knew I would need wiggle room in my schedule, even when I hadn’t yet realized it myself. And they gave me the autonomy to set my own boundaries with the reassurance that, together, we would make it work.

    It’s also worth noting that flexible hours and boundary-setting benefit everyone — not just parents. Whether employees want to pick up their kids at 3:00, come in late due to a medical appointment or work remotely from a different timezone, they can. All that matters to us is that the work gets done. It’s not always a perfect system, but it does allow parents to prioritize their family needs — and that makes them happier and more productive at work.

    Related: Give Working Parents What They Really Want: More Time

    Leading with empathy as a North star

    I am lucky that the people I work with understand just how much life — and priorities — change when you have kids. This was clear when I initially returned from maternity leave and was put through a rigorous re-onboarding process. Not only did I need a refresh on how the organization had changed, but it also reflected my team’s understanding that I had changed, too. To meet me where I was and allow me to reintroduce myself was highly empathetic on their part and reflects the old adage that it takes a village — both to raise a child and to care for its parents!

    I know this level of understanding isn’t always the norm, especially in startups where the median age is younger and fewer people may have kids. But even in companies where leaders aren’t parents, it is possible to act with the assumption that all employees — and especially those who are caregivers — may be struggling to balance the demands of work and home, especially during high-stress times like back-to-school season. And what they likely need more than anything else is an ally as opposed to an adversary at work.

    By embracing empathy, creating a culture where people can bring their full selves to work, and designing policies that allow for flexibility and autonomy, employers can make an already stressful time a little bit easier.

    Christie Horsman

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  • Why Empathy is Crucial to Your Success in the Business World | Entrepreneur

    Why Empathy is Crucial to Your Success in the Business World | Entrepreneur

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Empathy is the transformative force in business and life that allows leaders and managers to empower those around them. Beyond numbers and profits, understanding and connecting with others on an emotional level is a hallmark of exceptional leadership. This article delves into the power of empathy in the business arena — spotlighting its impact on leaders, teams and the legacy we all leave behind.

    The essence of empathy in leadership

    Empathy in leadership goes beyond just a soft skill; it’s a strategic imperative. As a manager, your interactions shape the team’s culture and morale. By understanding your employees’ feelings, needs, and perspectives, you forge connections that are the bedrock of trust and collaboration.

    Empathy is the cornerstone of a positive work environment. When leaders genuinely care about their team members’ well-being, it creates a culture of camaraderie. Employees feel valued and appreciated, resulting in increased job satisfaction, higher morale and reduced turnover. By acknowledging individual strengths and challenges, leaders can tailor their approach, empowering employees to thrive and contribute their best.

    Related: 3 Overarching Reasons Why People Quit Their Jobs — and How Employers Should Address Each One

    Effective communication and conflict resolution

    Empathy is a game-changer in communication. Leaders who listen actively and understand their team’s concerns can communicate clearly and tactfully. When conflicts arise, an empathetic approach promotes open dialogue, allowing conflict to be resolved constructively. This prevents issues from festering and maintains a harmonious work atmosphere.

    Related: 8 Great Tricks for Reading People’s Body Language

    Empathy and employee engagement

    Employee engagement is vital for productivity and innovation. Empathetic leaders foster engagement by recognizing employees as whole individuals with specific aspirations and needs. This recognition boosts motivation and encourages employees to invest their energy and creativity in their roles. Engaged teams are likelier to go the extra mile, driving overall performance and organizational success.

    Building trust and loyalty

    Trust is the currency of effective leadership. Empathy is the linchpin of trust-building, demonstrating that leaders genuinely care about their team’s success and well-being. Employees who perceive their leaders as empathetic are likelier to be loyal and dedicated. This loyalty translates to increased effort, reduced absenteeism, and a willingness to weather challenges together.

    Related: Why Do Your Customers Really Buy from You?

    Empathy in decision-making

    Empathy informs strategic decision-making. Leaders who understand the impact of their decisions on employees consider not only the bottom line but also the human aspect. This leads to conclusions that balance short-term gains with long-term sustainability. By incorporating empathy, leaders build a culture where decisions are ethical, considerate, and aligned with the organization’s values.

    Empathy’s ripple effect

    Empathy is contagious. When leaders embody compassion, their teams often emulate this behavior. This ripple effect extends to customer and client interactions, creating authentic connections that enhance customer loyalty and satisfaction. A company culture rooted in empathy can differentiate the organization in a competitive marketplace.

    Related: Why Empathetic Leadership Is More Important Than Ever

    Strategies for strengthening empathy

    Developing empathy requires active effort. We can start by actively listening to others without judgment, acknowledging their emotions, and trying to understand their perspective. We cultivate a culture where people feel seen, heard, and valued.

    1. Active listening: When someone speaks, truly listen without interrupting. Let their words unfold without immediately forming your response. This allows you to absorb the depth of what they’re sharing. Show you’re engaged through non-verbal cues like nodding or maintaining eye contact, indicating that you value their perspective and emotions.
    2. Walk in their shoes: Take a moment to imagine what it’s like to be in their situation. Consider the challenges they might be facing and the emotions they’re likely experiencing. This mental exercise helps you better understand their point of view and fosters a deeper connection.
    3. Open-ended questions: Encourage them to share more by asking open-ended questions. Instead of yes-or-no inquiries, ask questions that require thoughtful responses. This invites them to express themselves fully, helping you gain insights into their feelings and thoughts that you might not have uncovered otherwise.
    4. Set aside biases: Recognize your biases and preconceptions and consciously set them aside during the conversation. Approach the interaction with an open mind, allowing their emotions and perspective to take center stage. By letting go of judgments, you create a safe space for them to express themselves authentically.
    5. Engage in service: Engaging in acts of kindness or volunteering exposes you to diverse experiences and backgrounds. This exposure broadens your understanding of the challenges people face and the emotions they navigate. Being part of a more significant community effort allows you to connect with individuals whose stories may differ from yours.

    Empathy emerges as a fundamental trait that elevates leaders beyond managerial roles. As a leader, nurturing compassion creates a positive work environment, boosts engagement, fosters effective communication, and builds trust. It’s a catalyst that transforms workplaces into thriving ecosystems where individuals feel valued and empowered. By recognizing the transformative power of empathy, leaders shape organizations that achieve financial success and leave a lasting, positive impact on their employees and the world at large.

    Ryan McGrath

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  • From Faith to Politics: How to Navigate Difficult Conversations in the Workplace | Entrepreneur

    From Faith to Politics: How to Navigate Difficult Conversations in the Workplace | Entrepreneur

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Although the risks are real, the rewards are worth it. What if I told you that having difficult conversations when artfully done, can bring you closer — not further — to your colleagues, friends and family?

    You don’t have to be a diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) consultant like me to have meaningful and constructive conversations about “hot” topics. All that’s required is a bit of control in managing your emotions, good listening and speaking skills and an open mind. When I host DEI workshops and sessions with clients, I use simple techniques to empower them to have these conversations in their own institutions. Here are my top three recommended techniques that help my clients have very difficult discussions with the best possible outcomes for all involved.

    Create community agreements

    The suggestion to create guidelines and agreements at the outset of a conversation may sound a bit stale, but trust me, it’s a powerful tool. Community agreements used deliberately and respectfully in group conversations can set the tone for behavioral expectations and allow everyone to buy into a set of principles that will help keep the conversation cordial and kind.

    I usually present a suggested list of community agreements at the beginning of the conversation and invite attendees to add or remove items. Then, after the agreements have been solidified, we all agree to adhere to them. Some of my favorite community agreements include:

    • Listen to learn, not react.
    • Expect and accept non-closure.
    • Name what you need to feel safe.
    • Stay engaged throughout.
    • See this as a brave space.

    These community agreements, once agreed upon, can help ensure the conversation is kind, thoughtful and conducted with an open mind by all.

    Related: Here’s How to Have the Most Powerful DEI Conversations

    Manage your emotions

    Discussing difficult topics like faith and politics can stir up a plethora of emotions from pride to shame and countless others in between. But why do conversations like this cause such an emotional reaction? Well, it’s partly because faith and politics are incredibly close to our hearts, personal values and way of living.

    It can feel offensive to hear someone completely dismiss our way of life or speak in a way that conflicts with our values. But the country, and the world for that matter, are diverse places and we have to be able to regulate our emotions if we wish to engage with others who may have different opinions.

    In my DEI workshops, I encourage attendees to, first, recognize their emotions. Are they feeling sad? Confused? Delighted? Upset? I advise them to notice — without judgment — what emotions are coming up for them. Simply recognizing the onset of feelings is the first step.

    Next, I teach the person to practice self-regulation techniques. This can look like breathing techniques that calm the nervous system such as deep inhales and exhales. It can also look like stepping away to drink some water or take a break from the conversation or even the room, not to disengage, but simply to reset emotionally. Either way, learning to regulate one’s emotions when they are in a highly emotional state can truly keep the conversation cordial and on track.

    I also encourage clients to stay focused on the issue. One person’s opinion about a topic isn’t an attack on your personal values or beliefs. Instead of giving in to the reflex to react defensively, simply focus on what’s being said. What is the person on the other side of the issue trying to communicate? What are their values? What is the topic at hand? Focusing on the issue can help you feel less like the person is attacking you, and more like the person is merely expressing their opinion on the topic — which is almost certainly what they are doing.

    Finally, it’s important to know your triggers. What stressful events from your past are resurfacing in the conversation? What’s making your blood boil or giving you a shiver? Unresolved triggers can inspire heated emotions in the moment that other attendees may not understand. Feeling triggered and not being able to control your emotions can derail an otherwise meaningful and enlightening conversation. Knowing your triggers can allow you to step away from a conversation when the time is right. The result is more control over your emotions, a better-executed conversation, and perhaps mutual understanding.

    Related: Your Employees Are Probably Feeling Triggered at Work

    Practice active, empathetic listening

    In the moments when the last thing we want to hear is an opinion that confronts our own, the most skillful choice is to practice active listening. People are often confused about what “active” means. In this context, active listening means leaning in and truly engaging with what the other person has to say without interruption. It means giving them your full attention and practicing supportive non-verbal body language like making eye contact, nodding your head or sitting in a restful and relaxed position.

    Active listening when paired with empathy can be an amazing combination when discussing controversial topics. Empathy is an essential part of DEI and can give you the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and see an issue from their perspective. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say, but it does mean you are making an effort to understand where they’re coming from and striving to keep an open mind.

    Empathetic, active listening can look like reflecting on what someone has said and then paraphrasing to check for understanding. It can include asking clarifying questions that aren’t disguised attacks but rather demonstrate a genuine interest to further your knowledge about a person’s position or ideology. Most importantly, it looks like suspending judgment. This is the part that some people take years to master. However, it’s worth practicing. Once you have the mental and emotional control to listen to another person’s perspective and remove judgment about their character or humanity, then you will have mastered the art of having difficult conversations.

    Related: 6 Strategies for Being a Better, Active Listener

    Final thoughts

    Now more than ever, our divided society has a yearning to come together. From our faith, sexual orientation, political orientation or race, there is a connection void that’s ever-widening yet we share a desire to close it. I think the solution to bridging the gap and rebuilding a more cohesive and compassionate society is by engaging in difficult conversations with empathy and mindfulness. That starts with wanting to engage in these conversations, building emotional control, setting boundaries and truly listening to those on the other side of an issue. Most disagreements can often be boiled down to misunderstandings. People aren’t listening fully to one another and they can misinterpret what’s being said. To help us all become more compassionate and kind members of society, we must truly listen to the perspectives of those around us and seek to understand, not judge, their way of life and thinking.

    Nika White

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  • Being a Better Leader Comes Down to This One Thing | Entrepreneur

    Being a Better Leader Comes Down to This One Thing | Entrepreneur

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Today’s leaders need more than technical expertise and strategic know-how to thrive. As a global CEO and military retiree, I can speak directly on this topic. Today’s leaders more than ever need emotional intelligence; the secret sauce that sets exceptional leaders apart from the rest.

    Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to understand and manage emotions in yourself and others. It’s like having a secret weapon that allows leaders to connect, inspire and navigate their work and professional relationships. Let’s explore the importance of emotional intelligence as a leader and share five ways to boost your EQ game.

    Leaders do more than make tough decisions and rally the troops; they must understand the business’s human side. Emotionally intelligent leaders build strong relationships, inspire loyalty and create a positive work culture. It enables leaders to empathize with their team members, understand their motivations and concerns and adapt accordingly.

    A leader with high EQ can effectively manage conflicts, navigate challenging conversations and inspire others to reach their full potential. In a nutshell, emotional intelligence is the secret ingredient that transforms good leaders into great ones. Let me share some ways to increase your EQ from my seat as a CEO.

    Related: 4 Ways Emotional Intelligence Makes You a Better Entrepreneur

    Mastering empathy

    Empathy is the key component of emotional intelligence, and it’s such an underrated skill to have. Developing empathy involves putting yourself in another person’s position and comprehending their feelings and point of view. You can enhance your empathy by paying close attention when someone speaks, inquiring open-ended questions and demonstrating a sincere curiosity in wanting to know their experiences. It’s important to remember that even minor efforts can yield significant results, like establishing trust and cultivating meaningful connections.

    Mastering self-awareness and self-regulation

    Self-awareness is vital to being emotionally intelligent. Take a second to decipher what is going on in your head. Are you stressed, overwhelmed, or anxious? By acknowledging your emotions, you can work to manage them and make conscious decisions rather than indulge in your knee-jerk reaction. Working on this will make sure you seem calm under stressful situations and your team will have more confidence in you as a leader. So, become an emotional Sherlock Holmes and master the art of self-reflection.

    Mastering social skills

    Connect with your employees human to human. To be a true people person, you need to be a great listener as well as a great speaker. Showing you care about what your employees have going on in their lives is one way to connect with them. Offering support is another great way to help create a human connection, and don’t underestimate the power of humor.

    Humor is a powerful tool in the emotional intelligence arsenal. It can diffuse tension, build rapport and create a positive work environment. Making a witty joke or sharing a warm remark can help break the ice, boost morale and build stronger connections with others. Sprinkle some laughter into your interactions but make sure you use humor with respect and that you are sensitive toward others’ feelings. Bring out a few harmless dad jokes and see how your employees react to them.

    Related: These Are the 4 Emotional Intelligence Characteristics All Business Leaders Need

    Mastering relationships

    Pay attention to your nonverbal cues. How you sit, your facial expressions and any eye contact you make (or don’t make) send a message to others around us. Master your own nonverbal cues and body language and pay attention to your employees as well. This will help strengthen your relationships because you will be more aware of how someone is feeling.

    The way you provide constructive feedback is an art form that requires care and an understanding of how that information may be received. Practice giving feedback with empathy and tact. Focus on specific behaviors and their impact rather than criticizing individuals. Use the “sandwich” technique — start with positive feedback, provide areas for improvement and end with encouragement. By mastering the art of feedback, you’ll create a culture of continuous growth and development in the workplace.

    Mastering motivation

    A part of EQ is knowing what makes your employees work hard and reach their goals. Knowing how they want to be incentivized is important because all employees don’t want the same type of motivation. For example, some may be motivated by money and others may be motivated by titles. Cultivate a growth mindset and embrace failure as a learning opportunity in your organization.

    You don’t need to do it all alone either. Sometimes we need motivation from others so we can forward it to the people in our lives. Build a support network of mentors and peers who can guide and encourage you during challenging moments. Remember, being able to motivate your employees is one of the most important characteristics that help leaders weather storms and inspire their teams to do the same.

    Using emotional intelligence for good

    Leadership can be a bumpy ride, filled with challenges and setbacks. It’s easy to see how mastering emotional intelligence can be used for manipulation purposes. It’s important to use these skills for the greater good and not to push your own agenda. Always lead with strong morals and values and your employees will follow your lead.

    As leaders, it’s time to recognize the power of emotional intelligence and harness its potential. Understanding and managing our emotions and cultivating empathy, humor and resilience can elevate our leadership game. Emotional intelligence allows us to connect with others on a deeper level, inspire loyalty and create a positive work culture where everyone can thrive.

    Related: If You Have No Emotional Awareness as a Leader, You’re Limiting Your Success. Here’s Why (and How to Fix It).

    Embrace your EQ, lead with heart and wit and watch your leadership journey take off to new horizons. After all, a leader armed with emotional intelligence is unstoppable in the ever-evolving world of business. I have led thousands of people over my lifetime, and I learned these lessons by failing forward and learning from those experiences. I hope these tips are useful to you in your leadership journey.

    Jason Miller

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  • How to Be a Better Business Negotiator, According to This Former FBI Hostage Negotiator | Entrepreneur

    How to Be a Better Business Negotiator, According to This Former FBI Hostage Negotiator | Entrepreneur

    Chip Massey does not sound like an FBI hostage negotiator.

    He is warm. Friendly. Easy with a laugh. The exact opposite of the grizzled, crime-fighting stereotype. And that, he says, is an asset — because when you negotiate anything, even in business, your first goal must be to build rapport.

    Jason Feifer

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  • 3 Ways to Meet the Needs of a Divergent Workforce

    3 Ways to Meet the Needs of a Divergent Workforce

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Mental health, well-being and stress management will rise to priority status as workers demand a work-life balance. This is good news for disabled employees, but how will business leaders rise to meet this need? Executives will work harder than ever to create a more inclusive, welcoming, and accommodating environment to attract and retain these creative and productive workers. Learning to listen, communicate effectively and make changes in how teams work together can go a long way in creating an environment where everyone feels safe and respected.

    Rather than a “sink or swim” approach, leadership can meet workers where they are. This is where a business leader with a limitation can use intuition, see areas for improvement and change the dynamic in the workplace so that needs are understood and met. Business leaders should focus on three main areas to meet the needs of a divergent workforce.

    1. Empathy

    When a worker with a limitation applies for a job in the business world, they often fear the staff will not accept them. They are often worried they will not be heard if they ask for an accommodation. They may be concerned that what seems easy for everyone else will be difficult — or impossible — for them. Empathy is the quality of compassion that allows us to feel what it might be like to be in someone else’s shoes. It is the action-oriented part of compassion.

    It’s not about the number of divergent employees a company has on the roster; it’s about the employee work experience. Executives can show they are aware of the unique needs of the staff and are willing to meet those needs. Managing with empathy means understanding that someone in the office or on the other end of a remote call might have a disability or a limitation they are unwilling to share. It means taking the time to get to know the staff member on a more personal level and responding to their needs in a meaningful, timely way.

    Related: Why Empathetic Leadership Is More Important Than Ever

    Being open about diverse abilities begins with the company website, the company’s reputation on the web and the interview process. From the beginning, a potential candidate with a limitation can tell whether a company will be open to discussing their needs, the accommodations that might be required, and the way a limitation might change aspects of the work experience. A leader with a disability intuitively asks the right questions. Does a new employee need to communicate differently than other employees? What about physically navigating the building? How can the team best work with a staff member’s condition?

    For executives without disabilities, learning to be open and accepting of workers with limitations, striving to communicate more effectively and helping staff members feel safe will benefit not only disabled workers but will also improve the work experience for everyone.

    As an executive, you may feel uncomfortable asking questions or looking for feedback from disabled employees. The truth is that empathy is as uncomplicated as being a good listener, a good observer and a good mentor. When you create a culture that celebrates workers’ contributions with limitations, they may open up about their needs. An employee with dyslexia might need a team member to enter data on an excel sheet. A staff member with PTSD might have to schedule telehealth visits on breaks. If these workers are hiding their needs from you, the cost can be overwhelming stress for them. The company’s stakes are also high: rising turnover, absenteeism and low productivity.

    Related: 5 Ways Employees With Disabilities Help Maximize a Company’s Growth

    2. Accessibility

    A business leader with a disability has the edge when it comes to creating an environment that is equally accessible for everyone. Chances are that a wheelchair-bound executive has circled the parking lot looking for a ramp or dealt with oncoming traffic in a parking garage attempting to make it to the elevator. A legally blind business leader has experienced more than a few meetings where important information was presented only on PowerPoint. If you are an executive without a disability, you may have never considered how many potential candidates might have found your building or information inaccessible; they may have made it to the parking lot, quietly leaving without pointing out how their lack of access left them feeling helpless and excluded.

    A leader with a limitation will look at the corporate space from a perspective of challenge. A disabled executive will ask, “What hurdles will a disabled person meet attempting to work here?

    Do your meeting spaces accommodate divergent needs? Ramps, elevators, the width of doors and aisles between desks, lighting and closed-captioning are just the beginning. If an employee with anxiety issues needs a peaceful place to calm down, or if a worker needs to keep moving to improve chronic pain, is there a place for them to go? What about transportation? Could the company offer a car service or a monthly stipend to cover a ride share?

    However, it isn’t just about disabled staff. The need for accommodations can arise at any time. Workers without disabilities can break limbs, have painful surgeries, be wheelchair-bound or use crutches. Leaders can anticipate how the workspace might become a burden for staff and make adjustments.

    Beyond the physical environment, corporate heads can embrace technology to assist divergent employees in reaching their potential. Technology has moved beyond closed captioning and voice accessibility. Consider how you can make technology more accessible for your staff. A simple solution might be making transcriptions of meetings. These could be emailed out to staff, including those who are hearing impaired.

    Some apps allow people to take pictures and have documents read to them. There are apps that magnify text for those with impaired vision. Young engineers are working with AI to create more effective communication between the hearing impaired and people without that limitation. Executives can fund training and innovations that meet employees’ needs. Both staff and business leaders will be challenged to find different ways of doing things, working together to find solutions so that everyone can be more productive. Simply delivering material and information in a variety of ways will enable everyone to have better access.

    Related: Employers Need Workers. Now They’re Realizing The Untapped Talent of These People.

    3. Team building

    Even if business leaders grow in their understanding of divergent staff, the next step is even more critical: Management can bring employees together to learn from one another. If staff members hide in cubicles or a remote office without fellowship, mutual understanding can’t occur. One of the most innovative ways to find common ground in the workplace is to use team-building exercises.

    What if the office meeting wasn’t just the usual grind? What if part of that time was spent on team building? This can be done online or in the office. A manager can help staff clarify the team and individual goals. Employees can share their hopes or their vision for their lives. Leaders can go around the room, asking the same question, such as, “What are you most proud of?”

    Another option is to bring in a corporate trainer to build synergy. This can be done across departmental lines to bring a fresh perspective. Trainers may give the teams “assignments,” such as a project to complete, a problem that needs solving, or a set of tasks that force them to rely on each other and pull their own weight. Members of the team are pushed out of their comfort zone. They learn how to accommodate diverse abilities in their group using resourcefulness, recognizing strengths and weaknesses, and filling in the gaps when needed.

    A corporate retreat is a chance to get workers out of the office and into an environment where they can open up and share things they wouldn’t ordinarily reveal in an office setting. Staff members can relax, share their fears, and get vulnerable. Whether the retreat lasts a couple of days or a week, they can get to know each other. After a retreat, employees often feel they have gained trust, respect, and a sense of purpose where they work. They may feel they have a better grip on leveraging their team and workplace’s diverse abilities.

    Final thoughts

    An executive with a disability may have the edge in anticipating the needs of staff members with diverse abilities; however, leaders without limitations can find ways to maximize the potential in all staff members by making empathy, accessibility, and team-building a part of the corporate culture. Celebrating your team’s unique skills while working to meet their individual needs will create the kind of environment where the most talented candidates will thrive.

    Nancy Solari

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  • How to Be the Empathetic Leader Your Team Needs

    How to Be the Empathetic Leader Your Team Needs

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Can you feel it? The tides of the workplace norm are quickly shifting. Which side are you on? Are you stuck in the past where traditional plug-and-play marketing methods are fading away as the revenue runs dry? Or are you sinking into your more empathetic side to support a lean team through every ebb and flow of the business world?

    Melodramatic maybe, but true nonetheless. Without a doubt, the business market evolved, and the typical consumer avatar shifted in the past few years. No industry was safe from this drastic change.

    Clients know they deserve more when it comes to the customer journey, and they’re not afraid to keep searching until they find a company that is willing to make good on their investment. Right now, you need to ask yourself one simple question … Are you that company? Better yet, are you that leader?

    The answer to these questions, among other factors, lies in your ability to empathize with both your clients and your team.

    Related: Why Empathetic Leadership Is More Important Than Ever

    To create a meaningful customer experience, you have to know how to read people’s nonverbal cues, understand their verbal language and see the world from their perspective — not just your own.

    It takes a high level of emotional intelligence to truly comprehend what others are experiencing and then be able to adjust your words or actions accordingly. This is the empath’s gift. Being an empath doesn’t mean you are a pushover.

    We both know you can’t let others run over you if you desire to be a true titan of business. That being said, your team members need to know that when they come to you with concerns, you’ve got their back — always.

    On the other hand, clients need to feel confident in your abilities from the start. They also need to know without a shadow of a doubt that you’re always working on their behalf and in their best interest. When they feel this connection with you, they’ll be much more likely to remain a customer for life.

    How to develop your empathy skills

    So, ask yourself again … are you that company? That leader? If not, it’s time to start developing your empathy skills so you can be. Here are a few actions you can take to get started:

    • Pay attention to nonverbal cues
    • Listen with the intent to understand, not just reply
    • Seek out diverse perspectives
    • Practice mindfulness and meditation
    • Check your ego at the door
    • Be patient and present in every moment
    • Allow yourself to feel emotions fully, both positive and negative

    The ability to empathize is a crucial business strategy that all leaders should master to be successful. Empathy allows you to connect with your team members and customers on a deeper level, understand their needs and wants and create a more meaningful customer experience.

    In a world where traditional marketing methods are beginning to fade away, empathy can be the key to differentiating your company from the rest.

    The role of an empath in business

    In its simplest form, an empath is a person with the ability to understand and feel the emotions of others. It goes beyond being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes; an empath experiences the world of others as if they were living it themselves.

    If you’re not an empath, reading the sentence above probably left a large question mark in your mind. How can anyone feel exactly what someone else is feeling at any given moment? What an enlightened question. Here’s the science behind it.

    Every human has what’s called a mirror neuron system. This system is responsible for our ability to understand the emotions and intentions of others by simulating their feelings in our own brains. In other words, we can feel others’ emotions because our brain is wired to do so.

    Some people have stronger mirror neurons than others, which makes them more empathic. These individuals are typically more in tune with the emotions of those around them and can easily read nonverbal cues. They’re also quick to build relationships and trust because people feel understood when they’re around them.

    It doesn’t matter whether you’re an empath or not; the most important thing is that you understand how empathy works and why it’s such an important business tool. The first step to using empathy in business is to understand the different types of empathy. There are three main types:

    1. Cognitive empathy: This type of empathy allows you to understand how someone else is feeling by putting yourself in their shoes and seeing the world from their perspective. It’s the ability to see things from multiple angles and understand another person’s point of view.

    2. Emotional empathy: Emotional empathy is the ability to feel what another person is feeling. It’s different from cognitive empathy because it doesn’t require you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes; you simply feel their emotions as if they were your own.

    3. Physical empathy: Physical empathy is the ability to understand and respond to another person’s physical sensations. This includes both pain and pleasure. For example, if someone is telling you about a difficult time they’re going through, you might physically mirror their expressions or body language to show them that you understand what they’re feeling.

    Related: How Understanding the Power of Empathy Makes You a Better Leader

    For business owners: Why an emotionless human being is difficult to trust

    Yes, we’re all humans, but we probably all know that one person who is stone-cold all the time. And not in a good way. If you’re that person, do you truly believe your employees are going to enjoy working for you?

    Being unapproachable and unwilling to listen causes low employee retention rates and low company morale. Everyone comes to work knowing they have to walk on eggshells because their boss isn’t going to understand that an unexpected family emergency is the real reason why the assignment was a day late.

    As the leader of a team with varying emotional needs, you must step up to the plate and develop your empathetic side. Empathy is a crucial quality for any leader who desires to build trust, rapport and understanding with their team.

    Empathetic leaders are also able to see situations from multiple perspectives and make better decisions as a result. When leaders can empathize with their team, they create a safe and supportive environment where people feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas.

    How can you become the empathetic leader your team needs?

    Once you tap into this side of yourself, you’ll quickly start seeing a shift in your team’s dynamic. Here’s how:

    1. Try to put yourself in other people’s shoes: This means trying to see things from their perspective, without judgment.

    2. Pay attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues: What are they saying? How are they saying it? What is their body language telling you?

    3. Be present in the moment: This means being fully focused on the other person and what they’re saying or doing.

    4. Practice active listening: This means not only hearing what the other person is saying but also trying to understand the meaning behind their words.

    Remember, empathy is a skill that takes time and practice to develop. The more you do it, the better you’ll become at it.

    To scale your business with sustainable systems that succeed, your employees need to feel free to open up and share their thoughts and feelings. You hired each and every person on your team for a reason — that reason being that you see a creative and innovative spark in them that presents itself as an incredible asset to your business.

    Why shut down their creative flow before they have the room to flourish? Your business’ next big breakthrough could come from the mind of one of your talented team members. Imagine how much impact and income you could miss out on by silencing your team member with a billion-dollar idea they’re too afraid to share.

    Related: The Future of Leadership is Empathy—And Companies are Better for It

    Why empathy is your secret weapon

    Empathy is a critical business strategy because it allows you to:

    • Develop deeper relationships with your clients

    • Build trust and rapport

    • Create a safe space for sharing

    • Understand needs and how to best support them

    • Generate new ideas

    What is a business without its strong employee-client relationships? If clients can’t trust your brand, they’re not going to purchase your products or services. That’s simply a fact.

    Being authentic and showing clients that there’s an emotionally intelligent human behind your well-oiled machine helps you fully understand the needs of your target market and create products and services that meet those needs. When you have empathy, you’re able to see both the big picture and the smaller details. Soon, you’ll be making informed decisions that benefit everyone aligned with your brand.

    Start the process to see the impactful results

    Maybe you’ve run a successful operation by being that cold, calculating business person. But what if you’re missing out on something phenomenal by not opening yourself up to the power of empathy? Sure, it might be a little out of your comfort zone at first, but that’s how growth happens. By stepping outside of what’s familiar and exploring new territory, elevation is inevitable.

    Empathy is a learned skill that takes time and practice to master. But it’s well worth the effort because it will make you an impactful leader, an effective communicator and an enlightened human being.

    When you’re able to see the world through the eyes of others, you gain a greater understanding of the human experience. And that is a powerful tool that can be used to make a positive impact in the world. The bottom line is that empathy is essential for both personal and professional success. If you want to be an awe-inspiring leader that invites loyalty, you must first master the art of empathy.

    Shaan Rais

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  • I Lacked This One Critical Skill That Nearly Cost Me My Career and My Life

    I Lacked This One Critical Skill That Nearly Cost Me My Career and My Life

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    [Sensitive content: This article discusses gun violence]

    A gun was pointed a few inches from the center of my forehead. It was small. Maybe 22 calibers. Time slowed. Fight or flight kicked in, and I saw everything in my peripheral vision clearly. A couple of people were looking at us through a plate glass window from their table at the restaurant I had just left. My friends were a few feet away, wide-eyed and scared.

    You might be wondering how I ended up in this precarious situation, to begin with. Well, moments before, I was walking out of a restaurant. It was late, maybe 1 am. I had felt this kid staring at me. At this point, I decided to walk over to his car and ask him, “what’s up?” Did I need to do this? No. Was it provocative? Yes. And now we all know how this questionable decision could have cost me my life.

    It goes without saying that this encounter has had a lasting impression on me. It has helped shape who I am, the decisions I make and who I am striving to become. You might, however, be surprised to hear that this pivotal moment didn’t mark the end of my abrasive behavior (that came later), it did, however, serve as the most poignant reminder of how conversations can go sideways — fast.

    Over the years, I learned that the use of empathy, in such precarious situations — or even less volatile ones — has tremendous power to turn situations around to create positive outcomes. Especially in business.

    Related: What Is Empathy, and Why Is It So Important for Great Leaders?

    While many in the business world fixate on data, analytics and technology, they should spend as much time analyzing and understanding the motivations, emotions and varying perspectives of people. I am, of course, talking about prioritizing one’s emotional intelligence. The most gifted leaders out there understand how their actions and words affect those around them. They excel in social awareness and practice empathy.

    This did not come naturally to me. Early in my career, I was willing to achieve my goals at any cost, no matter how my actions affected others. Case in point: If someone from another department was blocking or slowing down my project, I’d leapfrog over them and exert downward pressure by looping in their manager. It always worked. My project was magically sped up or unblocked almost instantly. I justified my actions because they were in the best interest of the company.

    But the company is made up of people. People with feelings. And, when that type of downward pressure is applied to someone, it sours your relationship with them. They know you bypassed them. They feel belittled, pressured and then forced into compliance. And you’re the source of those feelings. Not only does this ruin your relationship, but it also adds friction to future projects because that person (and their team) won’t be invested in working with you. The end doesn’t justify the means. As the late, great Maya Angelou once said, “…people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

    Instead of exerting pressure, applying leverage or coercing peers to comply, I could have gained their buy-in and inspired them to help out voluntarily. I could have taken them out for lunch or coffee. I could have asked about their challenges. Asked what they were dealing with and how I could help them. People are smart. They will see what you’re trying to do, but most will appreciate it. It might take more time in the short term, but overall, you’ll strengthen the relationship. Plus, your project will be completed faster and at a higher level of quality. And who knows — maybe you’ll pick up some ideas you wouldn’t have come up with on your own.

    Related: Why Empathy Is a Crucial Entrepreneurial Skill (and How to Develop Yours)

    An overwhelming amount of research suggests that empathy and personal interest increase employee loyalty and trust. In Harvard Business Review’s Emotional Intelligence Series on Empathy, Emma Sappala writes how kindness and optimistic communications have more impact on performance than the number of zeros on an employee’s paycheck. The author explains in another article that responding with anger or frustration erodes loyalty.

    A study by Jonathan Haidt of New York University shows that employees become more loyal when leaders tap into empathy more deeply. Neuroimaging research confirms that our brains respond more positively to leaders who use empathy compared to those who do not.

    As with any other skill, practicing empathy can be developed, though it takes time. Every person is different, so we all have to discover the triggers that inspire and motivate us.

    Here are a few tips for practicing empathy:

    • Place yourself in someone else’s shoes and see things from their point of view.
    • Validate your understanding of what you think you’re hearing by recapping what’s being said.
    • Be aware of body language and adapt your communication strategy accordingly.
    • Be direct, but considerate — ask open-ended questions.
    • Avoid jumping to conclusions or making assumptions based on past experiences.
    • Don’t penalize anyone in public when it can be done in private.

    Bottom line: Understanding your employees builds trust, which in turn improves performance. Congratulate yourself on trying to understand them. Even when you fail.

    I’ve come a long way since that moment I was held at gunpoint. Luckily for me, the situation de-escalated quickly and I got another chance to reassess my ways — both personally and professionally. Having worked on my emotional intelligence and practiced empathy, I now know how to “read the room,” and connect emotionally with people around me. I can safely say, you’ll not catch me walking up to any lone stranger in the dead of the night asking provocative questions. Ultimately, being self-aware and understanding the risk factors presented before you is what makes business leaders great.

    Louis Camassa

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