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Tag: Easter movies

  • Immaculate: The Perfect Easter/Pro-Abortion Movie

    Immaculate: The Perfect Easter/Pro-Abortion Movie

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    Released in mid-March, the Michael Mohan-directed horror movie (or “nunsploitation” film, if you prefer), Immaculate, was well-timed to not only coincide with having some box office clout during Easter weekend, but also to make a social commentary on the state of women’s bodily rights at this moment in history. And perhaps that was part of “God’s plan” for making Andrew Lobel’s script languish in development hell since 2014, when Sydney Sweeney first auditioned for the role (later, she would buy the rights to the script and lie in wait until she got rich enough to help produce it herself). At that particular moment, women in the U.S. apparently didn’t know how good they had it…vis-à-vis bodily autonomy, that is. 

    In 2024, women have been made well-aware that their ostensibly “inalienable rights” are not promised to them. So what better time for Catholicism to reenter the mainstream consciousness through Immaculate? After all, this is the religion that has been, apart from Islam, the most adept at treating women as second-class citizens. Mere “vessels” for carrying children. This is precisely how Sister Cecilia (Sweeney) is seen by those sinister forces who have summoned her to a remote convent in Italy (the majority of the movie was filmed in and around Rome—Catholic mecca) after her own church in Detroit, Michigan closes down. Ultimately, there isn’t much faith in the United States anymore (how can there be when capitalism has long been the new god?). Something Sister Cecilia mentions to her new roommate, Sister Gwen (Benedetta Porcaroli, of Baby fame). The latter is clearly less enchanted with the “majesty” of God than Cecilia is, even admitting to her that the main draw of joining the convent was that it meant no longer needing to rely on an abusive man for food and shelter—seeming to overlook the fact that the Catholic Church is the most abusive man of all. Regardless of the “divine feminine” energy of the nuns or not. 

    The nuns at this particular convent, however, aren’t exactly “full of life.” In fact, the convent is designed to accommodate “elder sisters” about to make their “transition” into the “next realm.” Ergo, there are only a handful of youth-oriented sisters in the mix, including Sister Isabelle (Giulia Heathfield Di Renzi), the surly mentor who tells Cecilia from the get-go that she’s too “sweet” for her own good. As Madonna once wrote in a letter to director Stephen Jon Lewicki, “I knew I wanted to be a nun or a movie star. Nine months in a convent cured me of the first disease.” Cecilia is about to be cured big time of her own sweetness/religious zealotry as the plot unfolds from the Suspiria-esque first scene, during which Sister Mary (Simona Tabasco, best known to Americans as “the prostitute from The White Lotus, Sicily edition”) steals a ring of keys from Mother Superior’s (Dora Romano) drawer while she sleeps in order to escape the convent in the dead of night. 

    Sister Mary doesn’t make it very far before a cultish-looking gang of nuns pursue her, break her leg and bury her alive (in a scene very reminiscent of Beatrix Kiddo’s buried alive moment in Kill Bill: Vol. 2). Sister Mary, in this regard, seems to be a precursor to Sister Gwen, who turns out to be much too vocal/aware of a sinister plot afoot for the convent’s “needs.” Which are to keep a newly-pregnant (“immaculate conception,” of course—hence, the movie’s title) Sister Cecilia from being spooked. Mainly by the fact that she’s being styled as the twenty-first century answer to the Virgin Mary (when she’s not also being called Santa Benedetta…no one seeming to comment on how much of a [lesbianic] heretic that particular nun was viewed as—see Paul Verhoeven’s Benedetta for further confirmation).

    At the outset of her pregnancy, Sister Cecilia is willing to go along with this notion, taking it as a sign that she was right to assume God had a higher purpose for her when He “rescued” her from death when she was just twelve years old. At that time, she had seemingly drowned in a frozen lake, only to be revived after seven minutes. That’s when she turned to religion as a form of “repayment” to God for saving her. Surely, giving birth to the new Savior must have been what he had in mind all along, right? Only there is nothing divine at all about this conception, least of all how the baby ended up “incubating” inside of her. And that is all she is—an incubator—to the men pulling the strings of this nefarious operation, Father Sal Tedeschi (Álvaro Morte) and Cardinal Franco Merola (Giorgio Colangeli). It is Tedeschi who admits to Cecilia that he used to be a “man of science” before he “God showed him a path” to faith. Naturally (or unnaturally, in this case), he didn’t entirely let go of his scientific ambitions when he “made the switch,” instead funneling his talents into replicating Jesus’ genetic code from the Christ nail they happen to have on hand at the convent. 

    Sister Mary, in her state of terror, had likely unearthed this form of “experimentation” (was perhaps even one of the nuns tapped to attempt it), with Tedeschi trying numerous times to get one of his “embryonic implants” to “take” inside of a young nun’s belly. But silence and subjugation are the Catholic (and patriarchal) go-tos for getting rid of any unwanted “element” at the convent. First, Sister Mary is literally buried, then Sister Gwen gets her tongue cut out and, during the same scene, Sister Cecilia is creepily shushed (in that shudder-inducing way that only old ladies can achieve). Throughout the narrative, this is a running theme: the silencing of women who are trying to speak out against the unfair use of their own bodies. Which they are repeatedly told, through actions more than words, that they have no control over. Their bodies belong to “God,” de facto the conservatives running the Church. What’s more, they use that petrifying justification that all zealots are so fond of: “If it is not God’s will, then why doesn’t He stop it?” But Sister Cecilia is about to take so-called destiny into her own hands to prove to her oppressors that this Rosemary’s Baby life they’ve forced on her is not God’s will at all.

    In this messaging-related regard and many others, Immaculate is a notch above the average nunsploitation movie. Plus, it’s also a win because at no point does Sydney Sweeney try to speak Italian or use an Italian accent. That alone is commendable based on what audiences have suffered through with movies like House of Gucci and Ferrari. And so, if you’re looking for a new film to your Easter-themed rotation each year, Immaculate is a solid, pro-abortion addition.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Fatal Attraction: A Tragic Easter Movie for Rabbits

    Fatal Attraction: A Tragic Easter Movie for Rabbits

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    It’s said that Fatal Attraction is a cautionary tale about having an affair, but what few people fail to mention is how it qualifies as an Easter movie. For how can one deny that a central part of the plot is the innocent rabbit named Whitey? The sweet pet belonging to the Gallagher family, but more than anyone Ellen (Ellen Hamilton Latzen), Dan’s (Michael Douglas) naïve six-year-old daughter who turns out to be collateral damage in Alex Forrest’s (Glenn Close) game of “psychotic seduction” in that she must suffer the fallout of Alex’s rage directed at her father. De facto the rabbit (and yes, a real [dead] one was actually used for the infamous scene in question). And even though Whitey doesn’t make her official entrance into the Gallagher household until around the one hour and twenty-minute mark of the movie, well over halfway into it, she is arguably the biggest icon of the film.

    Like dogs in any movie or TV show of a “thriller-y” nature, the rabbit is probably the second-most assured animal to be harmed or killed in some way (see also: the second episode of Yellowjackets). Something about their purity just seems to set people off on a murderous rampage. To boot, the Gallaghers also happen to have a dog named Quincy, a yellow Labrador retriever who isn’t much for paying attention to potential intruders like Alex. Nonetheless, the dog appears to be spared thanks to the addition of the rabbit to their “brood” in the third act. Indeed, Dan buys the rabbit after initially resisting the notion of getting one for Ellen, but then decides to buy one likely due to the sustained guilt of stepping out on his wife, Beth (Anne Archer). Attempting to pay for his sins by going so far down the, um, rabbit hole with Alex. A woman who remains undeterred by the fact that Dan has moved to Bedford in terms of her stalking capabilities, which she’s only too happy to engage in the night that Dan brings home the rabbit in a generically oppressive black cage.

    In a certain regard, that rabbit in its cage is representative of Dan, suddenly all willing to commit completely to being domesticated after he’s been subjected to the wilds of what’s “out there,” i.e. “crazy bitches” such as Alex that make Beth look like a wholesome, obsequious wet dream. After all, Fatal Attraction also seeks to reiterate the Madonna/whore tropes that women are “required” to be lumped into. In pop culture, the tropes have often mutated into various opposing “character types” on the spectrum, from Marilyn and Jackie to Samantha and Charlotte, all symbolizing the same classic “syndrome.” One in which men can only see a woman as his noble, virtuous wife or tartish mistress material in the vein of Alex.

    But Alex is not so cavalier about having an affair as Dan would initially like to believe. She’s a “good woman,” she wants him to know, as she also seethes on a tape recording she sends to him, “You thought you could just walk into my life and turn it upside down without a thought for anyone but yourself.” Wanting Dan to suffer the consequences for his actions is the main crux for why she desires to have his “adultery baby,” though she insists it’s because, “I’m thirty-six years old, it may be my last chance to have a child” (oh how things have come a long way for women since that was evidently deemed the “cut-off age” for child-bearing).

    Alex eventually chooses to boil the family rabbit—an ultimate symbol of fertility—that she sees the Gallaghers fawning over from afar. This being a metaphorical indication of how she’s given up not only on Dan, but herself. Or rather, the idea of herself as “fit for motherhood”/being the matriarch of a conventional nuclear family. Not if she’s going to have to do it alone, without the one she supposedly “loves.” For this movie is, lest one forget, a transparent riff on Madame Butterfly (which Alex and Dan both discuss their love of early on in the narrative)—embedded in the screenplay’s text long before Mike White decided to create the character of Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge) in The White Lotus. However, it seems even Cio-Cio-San wouldn’t go so far as to hurt an innocent creature like Whitey, who is shown being discovered by Beth in the boiling pot in her kitchen just as Ellen is running to an outdoor wooden cage to check on Whitey, only to find the bunny is missing. Thus, at the exact same moment, mother and daughter let out a shriek of terror, the former because of what she sees before her and the latter because of what she doesn’t.

    But the rabbit ultimately serves as the key catalyst for getting Dan to confess to his affair. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to tell his wife the true culprit behind Whitey’s watery assassination. Thus, with this being Beth’s first glimpse of what Alex is capable of, she’s not all that shocked to find Alex standing behind her in the bathroom in the final scenes of the movie. Brandishing a knife, naturally. Being that the original ending of Fatal Attraction revealed that Alex had killed herself and made Dan look like the murderer, seeing her casually stab at her own thigh while she talks to Beth and accuses her of keeping Dan away from her isn’t that out of depth. Nor is the moment when Alex “reanimates” after Dan is given no choice but to drown her in the bathtub to stave her off from stabbing him and his wife.

    Lying there in the tub the same way the rabbit did in the pot, the karmic justice is complete when Alex, too, is rendered as bloody as Whitey after Beth finishes the job with a gun. This leaving Alex to stew in the hot red water just as Whitey was left to do. Despite the poetic “full-circle” scene, Fatal Attraction remains a movie that Easter bunnies and normal bunnies alike are cautioned against watching.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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