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A mother blurted out this question: “How much do you think should I get paid as a caregiver for my son?” Confused, the person she was talking to asked for clarification, and this was her response: “Well, my adult son still lives with me and does not really have a good paycheck. I am saddled with bills and need more money to help pay for them.”
Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Two words stand out to describe the value of children: heritage and reward. First, the word heritage denotes an inheritance or a portion of value. Second, the word reward means something given in recognition of a service or an achievement. And the giver of this heritage and reward, our children, is the Lord—a blessing indeed!
The Israelites experienced a baby boom—God’s inheritance and reward to His people—so much that they became a threat to the Egyptians. And no matter how badly the Egyptians treated the Israelites, God divinely increased them. And to put a stop to this population explosion and bring their numbers down, Pharaoh ordered the Hebrew midwives, Shiphrah and Puah, to kill any male child born by throwing them into the Nile. But the midwives disobeyed Pharaoh for they were God-fearing women—and God dealt well with them by rewarding them with their own families. “And the people multiplied and grew very strong” (Read Exodus 1). By the time they left Egypt for the great exodus, there were “six hundred thousand men on foot, besides women and children” (12:37).
Deuteronomy 28 opens with the blessings that the Lord provides. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the verses included the gift of children to the Israelites. Moses said, “And if you faithfully obey the voice of the LORD your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth…Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb…And the LORD shall make you abound in prosperity, in the fruit of your womb…” (vv.1, 4a, 11ab).
Going back to the very beginning, the creation, God gave the first multiplication assignment to Adam and Eve. He said, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it…” (Genesis 1:28). We read it next after God destroyed the Earth, when He commanded Noah and his sons to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” (Genesis 9:1). To Abraham, God promised, “You shall be the father of a multitude of nations…I will make you exceedingly fruitful…” (Genesis 17:4,6).
Perhaps one of the most prolific fathers was Jacob, Abraham’s grandson, with his 12 sons—shepherds by profession. Out of Jacob came the 12 tribes, God’s chosen people, the fulfilment of God’s promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. They tasted and saw God’s goodness as He led them to the promised land, Canaan, the land flowing with milk and honey and fruits—grapes, pomegranates, and figs.
Fashioned after His image, God’s people became producers of humankind—the blessing!
In biblical times—and way beyond those times—it was customary to keep living with your family as a community. It made sense when Moses was teaching the Israelites how to love God with all of their heart, soul, and might, and how important it was for the parents to teach this to their children. He said, “[You] shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (Deuteronomy 6:7). They were together 24/7.
As children turned to adults, they owned their own habitations but lived in very close proximity. They had fellowship and shared meals. This was proven by Esau asking his brother Jacob to serve him his red lentil stew (Genesis 25:30). And when Isaac was weak and dying, Isaac requested his son Esau to prepare the delicious food that he loved—and Esau didn’t hesitate to go out to the field and hunt game to prepare it (Genesis 27:3-4).
When three of his oldest brothers followed Saul to fight the Philistines, David was ordered by his father Jesse to run an important errand for him. “Take to your brothers an ephah of this parched grain, and these ten loaves, and carry them quickly to the camp for your brothers” (1 Samuel 17:17).
It wasn’t hard for the fathers to turn over the reins to their sons. They didn’t have to force them to learn their trades. It was expected that they would take over and handle the business and family affairs. They grew up in it, with hands-on experience. Brothers Simon and Andrew and brothers James and John were all fishermen like their fathers until Jesus called them (Matthew 4:18-22).
Siblings Lazarus, Martha, and Mary got along well, sharing not just the same home but close friendships with Jesus and His followers, often extending hospitality to them (Luke 10:38-42).
Obviously, there is value to a child, or the mother would not have asked how much money she could get for continuing to care for her adult son. However, her words revealed much about her worldly thoughts and feelings: she didn’t see a way out of her parenting responsibility, and it was causing her financial hardship.
We like to blame the economy, inflation—the list goes on—that the seemingly best-laid plan is to have maybe just one or two children, or none, because of the nightmare of rising costs. Most parents want to plan the length of their stay in the workplace, build that nest egg for retirement, and relax. Modern values have pulled us into thinking that children are more of an inconvenience, especially when they reach 18 and still don’t make plans to move out and venture on their own. This delicate situation of wanting to stay longer at home can be easily solved by finding jobs and paying rent, being more like a roommate rather than family—or the ultimatum of kicking them out. They can’t seem to wait for the day to come when they will be empty nesters, that it’s best to put a deadline on how long their children should live at home.
How did we end up with this bizarre mindset that we see children more as liabilities—the money drainers—instead of assets—the gift from the Lord, our inheritance and reward? We see how most of them are unprepared to face the challenges of the world, uncertain of what they want to do with their lives, and still stuck in their self-discovery phase. No wonder they can’t and don’t want to leave the security of their rooms! We, parents, should admit that we just don’t want to deal with handling their needs at a certain point as they mean the interruption of our own. And we wonder why we have so many prodigal and failing adult children!
Are we ever going to be ready to embrace how incredible our children can be and how they are God’s heritage and reward to us? The more we admit what a blessing they are to us, the more they will become one. And the more we diligently teach them about God’s Word, the wiser they will become. Then we can be certain that they are able to continue the cycle of blessing, producing generations of children who are obedient to God’s commandments, prosperous, and living a fulfilled life.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/aldomurillo
Luisa Collopy is an author, speaker and a women’s Bible study teacher. She also produces Mula sa Puso (From the Heart) in Tagalog (her heart language), released on FEBC Philippines stations. Luisa loves spending time with her family over meals and karaoke!
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Does it ever feel less genuine when your partner says love you instead of I love you? Or does saying I love you in a casual relationship feel weird? This is because the seemingly similar phrases can convey totally different meanings. So is there a difference between I love you and love you? To understand better, we talked to Dr. Shefali Batra (MD in psychiatry), a California-based psychiatrist and cognitive behavior therapist, who specializes in counseling for separation and divorce, breakup and dating, and premarital compatibility issues.
Imagine you’re scrolling through your texts, and you notice that some people say love you and some spell it out and personalize their affection with an I love you. Is there a secret code behind these phrases? Perhaps. Lets understand what’s the difference between love you and I love you over text or otherwise.
Related Reading: 21 Ways You Are Unconsciously Saying “I Love You” To Your SO
Dr. Shefali describes love you as a friendly fist bump of fondness or gratitude. You might say it to your best friend after they do something sweet, like save you from a boring meeting. It’s light, casual, and perfect for everyday use.
Saying I love you is a grand gesture, the bouquet of roses awaiting under your balcony. When you add that little “I,” you’re diving into deeper emotional waters. When your boyfriend says I love you during a cozy dinner, it feels intimate and personal — a full embrace compared to a friendly pat on the back.
This is not to say that the phrase is only reserved for your romantic partner. Explaining the meaning of I love you, Dr. Shefali emphasized that the difference between love you and I love you is not that one is platonic and the other romantic. You can very well say I love you to close family, such as your parents or children. Similarly, you can also use it with close friends, depending on your friendship dynamics. Just remember that I love you displays stronger feelings, whether in a romantic relationship or a platonic relationship.
| Love You | I Love You |
| Casual | Sincere |
| Said spontaneously out of habit | A meaningful expression filled with emotions |
| To express gratitude and affection | To express love and admiration |
| Can be used with casual friends and relatives | Reserved for romantic partners and close family/friends |
Now that we understand what’s the difference between love you and I love you over text or talking irl, it’s clear that both should be used in different situations or your feelings can be misinterpreted. So when should you use love you vs I love you? Here’s what Dr. Shefali suggests:
You can use love you to show friendliness in a social circle or a casual relationship. The phrase lets the person know that they hold a place in your life without sounding too intense or giving mixed signals. Love you can also replace ‘thank you’ but make sure to say it to someone you already know. Saying love you to a stranger who told you the time may make things weird. Here are some scenarios where you can use love you:
I love you should be used to express deep platonic or romantic feelings. It is a sincere expression, and you should use it only after understanding what is the meaning of I love you in your dictionary. You can say it to your partner to express your feelings of love for them. You can also say it to a close family member or friend to let them know that they are close to your heart and you cherish them. Here are some examples:
Since love you is usually used in casual relationships, the response doesn’t need to be too thought out. Don’t sweat it out, just say what feels right in the moment. Here are some ways you can respond to love you:
A classic choice.
A witty alternative. Go ahead if it feels on-brand for you.
May come off as slightly awkward, but totally acceptable if you are not comfortable with saying love you. Healthy boundaries are important in all relationships.
Nothing like some self-deprecating humor to keep things interesting.
Adds some spicy sass to the sweet conversation.
Now, as I love you is a more sincere expression, it demands an equally meaningful reply. Saying I love you takes courage and vulnerability and it’s only fair to respond with the same sincerity. Here are some ways you can respond to ‘I love you:
If you reciprocate the feeling and want to match their energy, this is the one.
This is a sassy one. Use this only if you already have an established relationship with the person as it could come off as rude otherwise.
If your boyfriend says I love you for the first time, and it catches you off guard, don’t feel pressured to say it back. Figure out what does love mean to you, and if you’re not ready to reciprocate the feeling yet, be honest with them.
if you don’t have any romantic feelings toward them, it’s better to clear things up than to lead the person on. It may seem a bit hurtful in the moment, but will be beneficial for both of you in the long term.
It differs based on the intent behind the phrase. Think, “what does love mean to you?”. For expressing casual affection, love you is a better choice. But if you want to show sincere love and admiration for the person, use I love you.
There is a difference between being in love and loving someone. Saying I’m in love with you is like fireworks—it’s passionate and intense. It’s the ultimate romantic declaration, while I love you is more like a cozy hug—warm and comforting. Both are powerful, but I’m in love with you can set hearts racing.

The answer to “What’s the difference between love you and I love you?” may differ from person to person. In the end, whether it’s a casual love you or a profound I love you, what matters is the sincerity behind the words. Of course, there are no rules set in stone for expressing emotions. So, you do you. Just be careful not to blurt out, “I’m in love with you” to your pizza delivery guy… unless you want to make your next few deliveries very interesting!
8 Ways To Deal With Saying ‘I Love You’ And Not Hearing It Back
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Women do this in bed all the time, but in relationships, it’s actually a huge red flag.
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Trouble in paradise? Wondering how to make your girlfriend smile? Is your girlfriend upset with you and you’re not sure why? You texted your buddy, “My girlfriend is mad at me, Help!”, but to no avail. Don’t worry, we can help you figure out what to do when your girlfriend is mad at you. But before discussing how to make it up to your girlfriend, here are some possible reasons why she may be mad. Check if any of these resonate with your situation.
While there are many reasons your girlfriend can be mad at you, we’ve picked out some universal ones to make things easier for you. Once you have, at least, a vague idea of what’s wrong, you can then figure out how to reassure your girlfriend or use what words to make her feel special and trust you.
The most probable answer to, “I wonder why my girlfriend is mad at me”, is that you did something to upset her. You may have said or did something hurtful or maybe you forgot an important date. Try to remember if something went wrong from your side.
There are 5 types of love languages and most people favor one over the others. These are:
It is possible that your girlfriend’s love language isn’t being met, i.e. you are not loving her the way she wants to be loved. To figure out how to make it up to your girlfriend, find out what her love language is.
Related Reading: 20 Best Relaxation Gifts For Her To Relieve Stress
It is also possible that the anger isn’t specifically targeted at you. She may have too much on her plate, leading to irritation and a bad mood overall. This is more likely if she is a working woman and has gone through a job switch or a promotion recently.
While it may sound strange, sometimes girlfriends, including myself, get mad at their partners when they miss them. She may be experiencing complex emotions such as frustration, loneliness, and even insecurity. So, see if both of you have spent quality time together recently. Also check if she is always the one initiating or you are making enough effort from your end.
Most girls experience mood swings before and during their period. This can mean getting sad, angry, frustrated, or all at once for no apparent reason. But how to make it up to your girlfriend when it wasn’t your fault in the first place? You need not worry, we have answers to that too. Just scroll down.
Now that you’ve figured out the ‘why’ part, let’s move on to the next problem. What to do if your girlfriend is mad at you? Maybe you need a list of gifts to say sorry to your girlfriend, or find the right words to make her feel special and trust you. Or maybe you need to take the puppy-eyes approach and come up with cute ways to say sorry over text. Don’t worry, we got you. Here are some ideas on how to make up to your girlfriend:
As they say, communication is key. So, sit down with your girlfriend and have a heartfelt conversation about what went wrong. These are the points you should discuss:
Once you understand her perspective, it will be easier for you to resolve the situation.
If she is angry because of something you said or did, your first action should be to apologize sincerely. Only a ‘sorry’ would not suffice. Here are some tips on how to say sorry to a girl you hurt:
Related Reading: 12 Cute Little Ways To Say Sorry After A Fight
When figuring out how to say sorry to a girl you hurt, make sure to reassure her that whatever went wrong won’t happen again. This is very important to make sure that the issue is fully resolved and does not lead to another fight.
This is how to make it up to your girlfriend 101. Compliment her! And be specific. Generic compliments like “you are pretty” don’t sound genuine. A Reddit user explains how to come up with sweet things to say to your girlfriend, “GIrls like to be noticed. What do you notice about her, the way she speaks, the way she raises her hand, the way she is with animals?”
“What do you like about her? Compliment her on that! Compliments mean more when they come from the heart.
They say the way to a man’s (well, woman in this case; honestly, this applies to everyone— who doesn’t like food?) heart is through his stomach. So if you’re wondering how to make up to your girlfriend, you can never go wrong with cooking. Bonus points if you cook her favorite meal because it shows that you know her well. Double points if your girlfriend prefers acts of service as a love language.
Nothing like some cuddles and kisses to make her anger melt, especially if she is a physical touch girlie. But make sure to take consent as she may not prefer physical affection when upset.
If your girlfriend is mad because you are not making time for her, what better way to make up than to plan a date? A planned date shows your girl that:
If reading this made you go, “But I never know what to give her”, trust me, you do know. You can come up with plenty of gifts to say sorry to your girlfriend, only if you pay attention. Here are some ideas:
Related Reading: Online Gifts For Her – Gift Ideas For Women That She Will Love
What to do when your girlfriend is mad at you because she’s overwhelmed or stressed? Take over some tasks. If you are living together, review the distribution of the household chores. Is it fair or can you take up more chores? If living separately, see if you can help out with any external tasks like setting up bill payments, doing taxes, commuting to work, grocery shopping, etc.
While you may not always be able to help with the work, you can always offer a massage to help her relax and reduce the stress. Plus, this helps build intimacy and strengthens your bonding.
Another great way to help her relax is to suggest some ‘me time’, where she can unwind at her own pace by binging her favorite show, listening to some music, or maybe taking a long bath. Bonus points, if you can help prepare for the activity beforehand (Putting together a playlist or drawing a bath).

If the above points are not enough to alleviate the stress, a spa appointment will surely make her loosen up. Surprise her with a spa appointment, either solo or couple, depending on your relationship dynamic.
This may seem a little extra and, of course, you don’t have to go on a vacation every time there is a quarrel. But if you are already due for a vacation, this may be a good time to change the scenery and reconnect after a fight.
Related Reading: Travel For Two: Tips To Be Ready For Adventure Vacations For Couples
If both your routines have been ‘work, eat, sleep, repeat’ for a while, look for a new activity to try together. This is especially helpful for people who favor quality time.
Here are some ideas:
If she is feeling disconnected from you and you are wondering how to reassure your girlfriend of your love for her, a small romantic gesture goes a long way. You can bring her flowers, make her a card, or write her a poem or a love note. You don’t have to be Shakespeare, a few heartfelt lines can do the trick. Just list some sweet things to say to your girlfriend, put it in her diary, or stick it on the fridge. It is bound to make her smile. This Reddit thread offers some great ideas, such as:
This is one of those cliché romantic ideas that always work. Just play her favorite song, extend your hand, ask, “May I have a dance, M’lady?”, and watch her melt.
This is a one-size-fits-all solution. Whether she’s upset, hangry, stressed, or hormonal, a snack or sweet treat is guaranteed to make things better.
This is an extended form of a love note. List down all the things you love about her. Be specific and include little details. Here are some things you can include in an ‘I love you because’ list:
As dating norms evolve, cheesy texts have slowly replaced love letters. If you are one of those couples who enjoy texting, come up with some cute ways to say sorry over text and make sure to add plenty of emojis.
As a boyfriend, you probably know how to make your girlfriend smile. Be silly, crack an inside joke, you know, all the cutesy stuff that makes her lovingly go, “you are an idiot”.
Girls are simple. They don’t always need some grand gestures or expensive gifts. There are many small acts you can choose from to make your girl feel special. Have a glance at the infographic below for a quick idea on how to make up with your girlfriend.

To sum up, there are various reasons your girlfriend could be mad at you. Talk to her to find out how to make it up to your girlfriend. If it is something you did, make an apology coupled with a gift or a gesture. If it is a mismatch of love language, find ways to love her how she wants to be loved. Schedule some quality time to strengthen your bond. Small gestures also go a long way. The point is to remind her that you love her and care for her.
18 Cute Apology Gift Ideas To Tell Her How Sorry You Are
40 Best Homemade DIY Gift Ideas For Girlfriend
35 Apology Texts To Send After You Hurt Your SO Deeply
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As the AstroTwins previously wrote for mindbodygreen, it’s “easy and breezy” to date a person who lives two zodiac signs away. “Your signs are always of a compatible element, making this a great match. You’ll often have similar values and attitudes about politics, raising a family, which movies to rent,” they say, adding, “Friendship and communication are the hallmarks of this aspect.”
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Does the word ‘dating’ conjure up images of a sweet young couple flirting over a cup of coffee? As a single person in your 50s, do you yearn for a similar connection but feel too apprehensive about dipping your toes in the dating pool? It may be time to shed those inhibitions and consider exploring the best safe dating sites for over 50—you may well be pleasantly surprised by the number of like-minded people you can connect with through these platforms.
Research has shown that a significant number of older people are open to dating these days. Be it to cut through the loneliness of one’s golden years or the simple fact that people aren’t shying away from the need for a partner even in old age, dating beyond 50 is a trend. If you’re single and desire an intimate connection, there is no reason why you shouldn’t get on board.
Don’t let worries and apprehensions about safety or falling prey to myriad online scams get in the way. We’ve got you covered on the count as well. In this article, we will not only take you through some of the best and safest dating sites for over 50 but will also offer online dating safety tips that you must follow to protect yourself without having to miss out on the promise of a loving, meaningful connection.
A study shows that about a quarter of Americans in their 50s have used an online dating platform. According to another study, 36% of all adults aged 65 or older are single and 16% of those are actively looking for a relationship. The writing is clearly on the wall: senior dating is on the rise.
Related Reading: How To Determine The Best Dating Site For You
This trend of older people dating largely stems from loneliness, be it due to having been single a long time or the loss of a partner to death or divorce. If you are 50 or above and are looking for a date or a partner, there’s no reason why you should miss out on this trend. To help you get started, here is a detailed roundup of the best safe dating sites for over 50:
This is perhaps one of the best dating sites for over 50 that is also free for its users. The site has a pool of more than a million “singles over 50.” The platform has been available for over 2 long decades and is thus one of the most trusted in the senior dating industry. It helps senior singles seek both long-term companions and short-term no-strings-attached dates.
Available on: iPhone and Android
Free or paid: It’s one of the best free dating sites over 50
A data-driven dating site, this one specifically caters to older adults and is known as one of the best dating sites for over 50. The platform claims to have served about a million registered members all across the globe.
Available on: iPhone and Android
Free or paid: Users can register and access some features for free
| Plan | Cost |
|---|---|
| 1-month plan | $59.99/month |
| 3-month plan | $39.99/month |
| 6-month plan | $19.99/month |
Related Reading: 9 Best Interracial Dating Sites (2023)
Considered one of the best safe dating sites for over 50, this app adds more than 380,000 members each month across the globe. It is also accessible in 25 nations. Apart from seeking serious relationships, you can also use the platform to make friends or if you’re looking for casual dates.
Available on: iPhone and Android
Free or paid: You can sign up and have limited access for free
| Plan | Cost |
|---|---|
| Premium Intro – 3-month plan | $57.80/month |
| Enjoy Love Plan – 6-month plan | $23.62/month |
| Long-Term Value Plan – 12-month plan | $18.70/month |
EliteSingles isn’t a platform that caters to senior users exclusively. Yet, it is one of the most preferred apps that mature daters use simply because it focuses on users with good academic and professional backgrounds. In other words, this is for those who wish to date relatively sophisticated people. Key safety features
Available on: iPhone and Android
Free or paid: You can register for free but need to pay to access advanced features
| Plan | Cost |
|---|---|
| 1-month plan | $99.95 |
| 3-month plan | $59.95 |
| 6-month plan | $39.95 |
Related Reading: SilverSingles Review (2022) – What You Need To Know
Now, this is perhaps one of the best safe dating sites for over 50. OurTime claims to have more than 1.5 million members all over the world. It caters exclusively to older adults with similar interests and focuses on the safety of its users. One interesting aspect of this platform is that it asks you to answer 3 questions before it allows you to explore your options: one, about your preferred type of date, the second, whether you’re a morning or night person, and the third, whether you like sweets or savories. You then get a suggested list of profiles to begin with, to make it easier for the app to understand your preferences.
Available on: iPhone and Android
Free or paid: For OurTime dating, you can create a profile for free but need a paid profile for advanced features
| Plan | Cost |
|---|---|
| 1-month plan | $34.96 |
| 6-month Standard plan | $95.76 |
| 6-month Value plan | $119.76 |
A dating platform meant exclusively for seniors who wish to create meaningful connections, the DateMyAge app has about a million followers. It’s expensive compared to other similar apps, but that’s what makes it all the more exclusive and safe. However, it’s not inclusive of different sexual orientations and caters only to cis-het people. It’s perhaps apt for those who have gone through a gray divorce or are dealing with widowhood after a long marriage.
Available on: iPhone and Android
Free or paid: You can register and avail of basic features for free but need to subscribe for additional features
| Plan | Cost |
|---|---|
| Premium membership | $9.99/month |
| Extra security | $19.99/month |
Related Reading: Surviving Divorce at 50: How To Rebuild Your Life
This is one of the rare dating platforms for seniors above the age of 60. Its main focus is on the safety of its members. It also boasts of a global dating pool. The most interesting part of the registration process on this platform is that it allows you to register as an individual, couple, or group. However, critics complain that the site lays too much stress on physical appearances.
Available on: This is a website and not an app
Free or paid: You can sign up for free but need to pay for extra features
| Plan | Cost |
|---|---|
| Silver plan | $22.94/month and $33.93 for 3 months |
| Gold plan | $34.94/month and $44.70 for 3 months |
This is an amazing app for senior daters that has its reach across a number of countries. The platform caters to seniors aged 50 and above and helps them find friends or partners of their age. Its tagline, “Feel young again,” perhaps sums up the essence of the app. It is also open to all types of sexual and gender identities, making it a genuinely modern platform.
Available on: iPhone and Android
Free or paid: You can sign up for free but need to pay for extra benefits
Related Reading: 15 Best Apps For Couples That Improve Relationships
A mature dating site, this platform caters exclusively to seniors above 50. Its prime focus is on the safety of its users and weeding out fake profiles. The best part of this platform is that its registration process is simple and hassle-free. It boasts about being a free platform and proudly describes itself as a site with “No paid models, no glazed over photoshopped images, and no tricks to get you to pay for a service that 99% of the time is not worth it.”
Available on: This is a website with a mobile-friendly version
Free or paid: It’s one of the best free dating sites over 50
Known for its easy navigation and user-friendly features, this dating site is known to focus exclusively on seniors. It also provides a global pool of daters for seniors looking for companionship and more.
Available on: This is a website with a mobile-friendly version
Free or paid: Users can join for free but need subscriptions to access some features. A yearly membership will fetch you a discounted rate
| Plan | Cost |
|---|---|
| 1-month plan | $44.60/month |
| 3-month plan | $29.77/month |
| 12-month plan | $22.34/month |
Now that you have a fair bit of an idea about the top 10 dating sites for dating beyond 50, you must be wondering how to choose the most appropriate site among them. Most of the sites offer a global pool of daters and boast of a wide range of cutting-edge features. However, senior dating can be a challenge if you end up choosing a site that doesn’t cater to your needs.
Related Reading: 15 Best Dating Sites And Apps For Professionals
You may find yourself lost in a maze of profiles that don’t align with your goals, and that can be a frustrating experience. To make sure an erroneous choice doesn’t get in the way of your prospects of finding a romantic connection, we have put together some tips on choosing the right site for senior dating:
Most seniors are relatively less tech-savvy than their younger counterparts. They are not equipped to save themselves from catfishing experts, romance scammers, and other fraudulent profiles on such sites, in spite of the safety tools some sites and apps make use of. Even the safest dating sites for over 50 can have some loopholes, after all. Thus, it’s imperative to follow some online dating safety tips when using such sites and, more importantly, to only choose safe senior dating sites. We have listed a few safety tips for seniors choosing to date online below:
Does your match ask you where you work on the first day itself? Do you have your home address or car number plate visible on any of your photos on the dating site/app? Be careful, as you may become a potential victim of an online scammer.
Online dating sites for seniors can be the breeding ground for financial scams. So, educate yourself about ways to outsmart romance scammers, and never share financial information with someone you’ve connected with online, even if you’re on real dating sites that are known for their safety features. Here are some tips:
Related Reading: 15 Spy Apps For Cheaters — Free and Paid
Do not, and we repeat, DO NOT meet your date at your place for the very first time. How do you know they aren’t a serial killer? Don’t take chances. Always arrange the first date at a café or a mall, or any public place for that matter, to avoid any possible dangers. And share your whereabouts with a friend or family member you trust.
With the ample cases of sextortion around us, you better keep yourself safe. Take these precautions:
Related Reading: My Ex Boyfriend Is Blackmailing Me, Can I Take Any Legal Steps?
No matter who you’re chatting with or where you’re going with your date, keep a friend or family member informed, to avoid possible crimes. Here are a few more tips:
With the ample number of senior dating sites/apps available these days, it’s evident that senior dating is here to stay. If you’re someone who’s 50 or above, whether single, divorced, or widowed, don’t hesitate to try one of the best safe dating sites for over 50 that we’ve recommended in this article. Remember, age is just a number, as they say. But with age, comes wisdom. Don’t take the plunge blindly and be aware of the safety precautions you need to take to navigate the online dating world. We wish you all the best!
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Emojis are a great way to avoid dry texting and spice up your flirting game. Emoji love texts can also help you hint your feelings to your crush if you’re too shy to confess your feelings directly. But with so many emojis, it can be hard to navigate the love emoticons for texting. While some are easy to understand, like the heart on fire emoji, some can be a bit confusing. For example, what is the red heart meaning, and how is it different from the heart of fire emoji? Or what does 💕 mean from a girl?
Knowing what different love emojis mean can save you hours of overthinking and help you impress your crush with creative emoji I love you texts.
Dating lingo can be complicated enough as is, full of dating abbreviations and slangs. And when you throw in emoji love texts in the mix, the result is pure chaos. For example, ‘’ meaning of this emoji is different than meaning in text. Also, did you know they have added an I love you emoji? There are so many options to choose from, the hearts symbols alone are more than a dozen! And the red heart meaning is way different from the yellow heart. Then which one should you send to your crush? Don’t worry, we can help you out.
This says ‘I love you’ in the simplest and most genuine way. There is no playful flirting involved, and none of that ‘situationship’ stuff either. This is a plain and simple ‘I love you’. Other than your romantic partner, you can also use this heart with close friends and family.
This is a cute one. It says, “My heart is yours” (the heart is wrapped like a present!). While it can be used in other cases, I prefer to save this one for a romantic partner.
Related Reading: How Do Men Show Love – 9 Subtle Hints
This one’s self-explanatory. This emoji says, “You make my heart beat faster.” A good pick to use in the initial flirting phase or drop subtle hints to your crush.
I personally like this one and use it a lot, even with friends. To me, it means, “I am sending you lovely vibes”. Everytime I use this one in emoji love texts, I imagine the other person raising their hand and ‘catching’ the vibes like they catch flying kisses in romantic movies. (A hopeless romantic? Who, me?)
This one is similar to the red heart, saying “I love you”, but it feels less serious and adds a bubbly vibe to your emoji love texts.
This one says, “I love you passionately”, and has a really intense vibe. For obvious reasons, this can be used in both platonic relationships and romantic relationships. Even with them, I would suggest not using it in light-hearted (See what I did there? *winks aggressively*) flirting as you may come off a little too strong.
Writing love texts with emojis not only adds a spark to your conversation, but also helps you express your feelings without being too direct. Plus, it’s fun! So let’s explore some creative ways to write emoji love texts.
Not sure how to ask out your crush on a date? Love emojis to the rescue!. If you’ve only recently started talking you may not want to come off as desperate or pushy. Use these romantic emojis to sound casual while asking them out:
This emoji combo suggests a casual coffee date, nothing too serious.
For the party animals, this is how you invite your crush to a clubbing date to enjoy a night filled with music and dancing.
Related Reading: 25 Dating Abbreviations You Need To Know
This one is a bit more sophisticated, suggesting a classic romantic dinner date.
Are you up for a movie night?
“How about a cozy date in a bookstore this afternoon?” For bookworms like me, these love symbols are guaranteed to make their hearts melt.
Related Reading: https://www.bonobology.com/rizz-pick-up-lines/
So you’re looking for some good old school flirting? Maybe get a little naughty? We got you! Here are some flirty emojis to make them blush (and maybe more😉)
*Ehem* you guys should get a room.
This says “I am gonna give you a lot of kisses, and not only on the cheeks”
This one implies that you want to bring things into the bedroom. It says, “Let’s get in the mood!”. Also, the heart symbol makes it more romantic. It indicates love and not only flirting.
Related Reading: 21 Kinky Foreplay Games To Turn Up The Heat
This suggests a steamy and passionate moment in the shower. Oof, why is it suddenly so hot in here!
“Let’s get kinky.” Nothing like the devil emoji to spice things up.
If you’re looking to send some lovey dovey vibes or write I love you in emoji text, these ones may be more helpful.
If you want to say I love you in emoji text but don’t want to go with the usual hearts symbol, this one is a cute alternative.
This says I love you in American sign language. If you’re a man (or woman) of few words, or don’t like to be very cheesy, this may be the perfect emoji I love you text.
“I am thinking about you.” Ah! What a lovely text to receive, especially on a busy work day.
“I am smitten with you.” Perfect to respond to one of their lovely pictures.
This love letter is like a blank check. You send it and the person’s mind reads the words they want to hear.
Related Reading: 25 Deeply Emotional Love Letters For Her That’ll Make Her Cry
You can enhance your dating texting skills and come with your own love texts with emojis, once you know what the different love symbols mean. If you often find yourself googling, “what does mean from a girl” or “
meaning of this emoji” or “
meaning in text”, here is a visual guide explaining the intent behind different romantic emojis.

Love emojis are a whole different language to navigate. Some can be used with friends and family, while can imply playful flirting. Now that you know the meanings of different emojis, you can use these combos or come up with your own to make texting more fun!
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Have you ever felt like you’re living in a world of surface-level small talk and polite nods, yearning for something more substantial? Well, my fellow believers, I’m here to tell you that it’s time to dive deeper into the refreshing waters of honest conversations. As Christians, we’re called to a life of authenticity and genuine connection, not just with God but with each other. But let’s face it, opening up can be scarier than facing Goliath with nothing but a slingshot and a prayer!
I remember the first time I opened up to my small group at church about a problem I had. My palms were sweating, my heart was racing, and I was sure I’d rather be swallowed by a whale like Jonah than share my struggles. But you know what? Once I took that leap of faith, it was like a dam broke. The flood of empathy, understanding, and support was overwhelming in the best possible way.
That’s the power of honest conversations, folks. They can break down walls, build bridges, and create bonds stronger than whatever glue Noah used to keep that ark together. (Okay, maybe not, but you get the idea!)
Let’s be real: being vulnerable is about as comfortable as wearing a hairshirt in the middle of summer. It’s itchy and uncomfortable, and you’d rather be anywhere else. But here’s the thing: vulnerability is the key that unlocks the door to deeper connections.
The Bible is full of examples of vulnerability. Look at David—this guy poured his heart out in the Psalms, sharing everything from his highest praises to his deepest despair. In Psalm 38:9, he writes, “Lord, all my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hidden from thee.” Talk about laying it all out there!
So how do we overcome this fear of vulnerability? First, remember that everyone—yes, even that person who seems to have it all together—has struggles. Second, start small. You don’t have to share your deepest, darkest secret. Maybe begin by admitting you’re having a tough week or struggling to understand a Bible passage.
And here’s a little trick I’ve learned: sometimes, being the first to open up can create a domino effect of honesty. It’s like you’re permitting others to be real too. So go ahead and be the brave one. Take that first step. Who knows? You might start a revolution of realness in your church community!
Remember, vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s courage in action. It’s saying, “Here I am, imperfect and struggling, but willing to connect.” And that, my friends, is where the magic happens.
Imagine you’re at a church potluck and someone brings a mysterious casserole. You’re unsure what’s in it but know you’re expected to try it. That’s what it feels like to open up in a group that doesn’t feel safe. You’re hesitant, unsure, and a little scared of what might happen if you take a bite.
Creating a safe space for honest conversations is like setting the table for a feast of authenticity. It’s about cultivating an environment where people feel as comfortable sharing their hearts as they do sharing that questionable casserole. (Though maybe with less indigestion afterward!)
In the Bible, we see Jesus creating safe spaces all the time. Remember the woman at the well in John 4? Jesus met her where she was, engaged in honest dialogue, and created a space where she felt safe enough to share her story. That’s our model, folks!
So how do we create these safe spaces in our Christian communities? First, it starts with us. We need to be the kind of listeners who respond with grace, not judgment. James 1:19 puts it beautifully: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”
Second, we need to establish ground rules for our conversations. Confidentiality is key; what’s shared stays in the group. Unless, of course, someone confesses to hiding the pastor’s car keys as a prank. (Then all bets are off!)
Third, we need to lead by example. Share your struggles and imperfections. When leaders are willing to be vulnerable, it sets the tone for everyone else. It’s like spiritual skydiving: when the leader jumps first, others feel safer to follow.
Creating safe spaces isn’t always easy. It requires intentionality, patience, and a whole lot of grace. But when we get it right, it’s like we’re creating little pockets of heaven right here on Earth—places where people can come as they are, brokenness and all, and find acceptance, love, and healing.
So, let’s commit to being safe space creators. Who knows? The next time someone brings that mysterious casserole to the potluck, they might feel comfortable enough to admit it’s their first time cooking!
You know that feeling when you’re trying to tell your spouse something important and they’re nodding along while scrolling through their phone? Yeah, it’s not exactly the pinnacle of communication. Well, it’s time we talk about the lost art of truly listening—and I mean listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak.
In our fast-paced, tweet-sized world, we’ve become masters of the quick response, the witty comeback, and the surface-level chat. But, when it comes to honest conversations, we need to channel our inner Sherlock Holmes. We need to listen not just to the words being said but also to the emotions behind them—the unspoken fears, the hidden hopes.
The Bible has a lot to say about listening. Proverbs 18:13 warns us, “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” In other words, zip it and listen up before you start dishing out advice!
So how do we become better listeners? First, put away distractions. That means your phone, your to-do list, and yes, even that nagging thought about what you’re going to make for dinner. Give the person your full attention. It’s amazing how valued someone feels when you look them in the eye and focus on what they’re saying.
Second, practice active listening. This means asking clarifying questions, reflecting on what you’ve heard, and checking your understanding. It’s like playing verbal ping-pong but with empathy instead of paddles.
Third, listen with your heart, not just your ears. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. What might they be feeling? What’s the deeper need behind their words? Jesus was a master at this. He didn’t only hear the words people said; he understood their hearts.
Becoming a good listener takes practice. It might initially feel awkward like you’re wearing someone else’s shoes. But stick with it. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes. And who knows? You might discover that by becoming a better listener, you become a better friend, spouse, parent, and follower of Christ.
So the next time someone starts sharing with you, resist the urge to formulate your response while they’re still talking. Instead, lean in, open your heart, and listen. You might be surprised at what you hear when you listen not just with your ears but with your soul.
Honest conversations aren’t just about clearing the air or having a good cry together (although those things can be pretty cathartic). They’re about spurring each other on towards love and good deeds, as Hebrews 10:24 encourages us to do. They’re about becoming the hands and feet of Jesus for each other and the world around us.
James 2:17 reminds us that “Faith without works is dead.” The same is true for our conversations. If we bare our souls to each other but don’t follow through with support, encouragement, and practical help, we’re missing the point.
So how do we have honest conversations? First, we need to be willing to get our hands dirty. If someone shares a struggle, don’t just say, “I’ll pray for you” (although prayer is important!). Ask them, “How can I help?” Maybe it’s providing a meal, childcare, or just checking in regularly.
Second, we need to hold each other accountable—with love and grace, of course. If someone shares a goal or a commitment to change, offer to be their accountability partner. It’s like having a spiritual workout buddy—you’re there to encourage, support, and occasionally give a loving kick in the pants when needed.
Third, we need to celebrate victories together, no matter how small. Did someone resist temptation? Awesome! Did they finally forgive that person they’ve been holding a grudge against? Break out the sparkling grape juice! (We are in church, after all.)
I’ve seen firsthand how powerful this can be. In our young couples’ group, one pair shared about their financial struggles. Instead of just sympathizing, the group organized a budgeting workshop, shared money-saving tips, and even helped them find side gigs to increase their income. A year later, that couple was debt-free and teaching others about financial stewardship.
Living out our honest conversations isn’t always easy. It requires commitment, sacrifice, and sometimes stepping out of our comfort zones. But when we do, we create a community that doesn’t just talk about love; it shows it in tangible, life-changing ways.
So let’s not just be hearers of each other’s words but doers. Let’s create a ripple effect from the action that starts in our church and spreads into our communities. After all, isn’t that what being the Body of Christ is all about?
Remember, authenticity is the heartbeat of a true Christian community. It’s in our vulnerability that we find strength, in our listening that we show love, and in our actions that we demonstrate faith. So let’s commit to deeper connections, starting today.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/MangoStar_Studio
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Emmanuel Abimbola
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When I was a child, my family was not built upon God but upon the world. As nice as it would’ve been to grow up with a deep knowledge of God and what He says about me, it simply didn’t happen this way. Sadly, many people across the world have the same childhood.
This can impact us in many ways, such as struggling to know our worth and never hearing the gospel in an understandable way. It wasn’t until I was in college that I finally heard the gospel and accepted Jesus as my Savior. Without going to the Bible college I went to, I might have never placed faith in Jesus. I certainly wasn’t going to learn about Jesus at home, which scares me to think about.
I think of all the people who never had the chance to go to a Bible college or hear the gospel elsewhere. This is a sad reality and one we as believers must take to heart. We need to do all we can to help others hear the gospel in a meaningful and relatable way. For parents, this can start at home and is found in building a family on the foundation of God.
If we are going to build our family on God, we have to teach our children about Him. As I mentioned above, I had little to no knowledge about the Bible or God. This negatively impacted my life in many ways. I am more than thankful that I know Him now; however, I wish I had known Him sooner. If my family had been built upon God, it would have saved me much pain and hurt as I developed into an adult and determined where my true identity was rooted.
This is why it is vital to build our own families on God. Through teaching your children about God, it will lay a foundation for their future. Even if your children are younger, they can listen to teachings about God. Start with shorter Bible stories and grow into larger ones as they get older. If your children are already older, you can help them get more involved with personal Bible time and share the gospel with them through age-appropriate conversation.
It is important to share the gospel with your children, especially when they are old enough to understand the severity of sin, how they are a sinner in need of a Savior, and the saving grace of Jesus. Children who are below a certain age have no possible way of understanding the gospel, but it’s never too early for them to learn. Just as we place importance on introducing them to their shapes, colors, and ABCs, it’s all the more important that we introduce them to child-appropriate songs, picture books, and arts and crafts that share the truth of Christ’s sacrifice.
We should encourage our children to learn more about Jesus, but it’s vital to understand that we don’t need to force them to place faith in Him. This defeats the purpose of them coming to know Him freely. Instead of pushing them into a declaration of faith, we need to be more patient and allow them to make the decision themselves. Just because our children have not placed faith in Jesus by the age of ten doesn’t mean they will never place faith in Him. Let the Holy Spirit work in your child at His pace. After all, He knows what’s best for your child, even more than you do!
Remember, we are looking for a genuine conversion—not a forced or coerced conversion. Anything forced isn’t genuine and of the heart and will wither and fade from their lives. Give your child room and space to make their own personal decision. Simply teach them about the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit as well as the Bible. This will lay a solid foundation for their knowledge of God and help them truly understand the gospel.
Building a family on God cannot be done apart from modeling biblical teachings in our lives. We need to model love, kindness, and forgiveness in our daily actions (Ephesians 4:32). Instead of embittering our children, we need to build them up (Colossians 3:21). In everything we do, we need to extend Jesus’ love in our actions and words. This will help our children see a biblical approach to life and how content and hopeful the family is because we follow God.
As Christians, a natural outpouring of our faith should be seen in the way we treat others, and this includes our families. Instead of being hateful, hurtful, or harmful to our children or spouse, we are loving, caring, and compassionate. Children can pick up on when we are not caring or interested in them. Try avoiding this mistake as it will cause your children to lose heart. If Mom and Dad don’t care about them, they will believe God doesn’t care either.
This is why we need to implement the Bible in our lives. If the Bible says to be kind, caring, loving, forgiving, and compassionate, then this is what we must do. Parenting comes with its own challenges, yet we should never take our frustrations out on our children. Of course, no parent is perfect, but we should be a true example of saying sorry, asking for forgiveness, and repenting of our mistakes.
Once our children see how important God and the Bible are in our own lives, they will recognize the importance of following God. If your children have placed faith in Jesus, they will want to start following Him in a more intentional way just like Mom and Dad do. However, if your child has not placed faith in Jesus, you can still share the importance of following Him through your conversations and actions.
These attributes naturally cause your children to become more interested in the Lord. Instead of viewing Him as a “made-up” person or a “character,” they will start to see Him for who He is: the Lord Jesus Christ, who died for our sins (John 3:16-17). As you show your children mercy and grace, they will begin to see God as merciful and gracious. As you show faith, they will understand the beauty of believing in what they can’t see. With time, your children will want to learn more about following God and obeying Him in their own lives. By seeing how joy-filled Mom and Dad are by following God, they will also be excited to start following Him.
Building your family on God will take time and be sprinkled with trial and error, but your persistence in faith will come to fruition. A family built upon God is a powerful, enemy-scaring family, who delights in God’s law and love. It gives God great joy to know that His children are walking in truth, loving their children, and teaching them about Him. Your efforts and dedication to the Lord never go unnoticed.
Keep following God in your personal life and seek to build your family upon Him in everything you do. If building your family on God is a struggle right now, turn to God in prayer and ask for His help. Ask God to help your family be built upon Him and His Word. Acknowledge your dependence on Him and petition for Him to give you divine guidance into what you should do. He will give you instruction, wisdom, and comfort as you build your family on Him.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Geber86
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Vivian Bricker
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Then, consider that Capricorn is a cardinal sign, and Virgo mutable. Capricorn is serious about getting things done, brimming with energy and ideas to reach success. Virgo, meanwhile, is adaptable and quick-witted, making them the perfect partner to bolster Capricorn’s efforts, whatever they may be.
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You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.
Chances are you never thought you’d be dating as a woman over 50. Right?
Dating was for young people.
In fact, for most of us, that was the last time we went on a date.
Yet, here you are today having to use a skill you haven’t used in eons.
Navigating the dating world isn’t always easy.
In fact, it can be quite hard to figure out what really works and that’s why today I want to answer 5 of the most important dating questions I’m often asked about dating at this time in your life.
Question #1 – I want a man to be my best friend. Is that possible?
Communication with a man isn’t the same as it is with your girlfriends.
Emotionally healthy men will be your best friend by keeping you safe, protected and provided for.
He will do his best to fix anything that makes your life easier for you.
To a man, his actions speak far louder than his words.
His actions are how he shows you he loves you.
As women, we love talking because the same hormone that gives you an orgasm is the same one that is released when you talk.
It’s why women verbally process everything. It feels good.
Men on the other hand preserve their words and can be quiet at times.
Not talking about life the way you would with your friends doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
He does.
He just doesn’t want to get involved in long conversations about things he has no interest in.
When you share involved and complicated stories about your friends and their families, a man can’t keep track of the point you are trying to make.
Unless it’s about you and taking care of you in some way, his eyes glaze over.
This is why it’s so important to have girlfriends who will happily process anything with you over your favorite martini or glass of wine.
Question #2 – Do I have to have chemistry right away to know if he’s the one for me?
If you said, “yes” then you aren’t alone.
Many women use chemistry as the basis for knowing whether or not a man is the right one for them.
Chemistry is amazing but it isn’t sustainable.
Without a friendship, no matter how much chemistry you have, the relationship can’t stand up to the test of time.
Many of my clients have not had immediate chemistry with their guy.
They thought he was cute but the zing was not there.
Yet, their guy seemed really nice so when he asked them out again, they said yes.
They ended up creating an amazing friendship and over time the chemistry kicked in.
If they had used immediate chemistry as the barometer for deciding if he was the one, they’d have missed a really great guy and a really great relationship with someone who absolutely loves and adores them.
Do yourself a favor . . . if a man is nice, give him a chance and get to know him.
Question #3 – I always see a man’s potential even when he doesn’t. Is it ok to give him tips and advice to bring out the best in him?
THIS IS A SOLID NO!!!!!!
One of men’s biggest pet peeves is about women who are always trying to change them whether it’s the clothes they wear, the food they eat or how they do their job.
One of the coolest things about emotionally healthy men is they love you exactly how you are.
That’s because men fall in love with the real you.
But women fall in love with a man’s potential then they try to fix him up to be his best.
If you don’t like who a man is the best thing you can do for yourself and for him, is to let him go and find a man you can love for exactly who he is.
Now for today’s inspiration that you can find love after 50!
I’m so grateful to have found Lisa Copeland and her Love After 50 coaching program. The insights I learned about how men think and what they are looking for helped me find the man of my dreams so much faster than I thought possible! We have been dating exclusively for over 6 months now, and have definitely fallen in love with one another! I am so grateful to have created a tool Lisa teaches called a Quality Man Template. It’s a clear vision of the right man for me and it was the key tool that helped me realize that this man is the one I had been looking for all my life. Thank you, Lisa for all you have taught me! Hugs and kisses and best wishes to you! Lisa, Minnesota
Believing in you!
Believing in You!

P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here
#3: Find the Right Dating Site for you
Check out some of my favorites — Click here
#4: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
If you are interested in learning more about how I can help, you can click here to answer a few quick questions and schedule a call.
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
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Aurelija Guerraea
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5 Frobisher Passage, London E14 4EE.
How much will it set you back? Around £100pp if you go all-out – but you could do it for £30.
What’s so great about it? “Take it from me: a die-hard foodie and a shameless frequenter of countless London restaurants. Blacklock is seriously good. You’ve probably already heard of them, thanks to the huge success of their Soho and Covent Garden restaurants – but following the launch of their Canary Wharf property, the buzz has really picked up. I visited after work on a Friday, and it was relaxed enough to visit straight from the office – but fancy enough to make date night feel special.
“We started with the pre-chop bites (so, so good): Blacklock Potted Meats & Kimchi, Egg & Anchovy (thought I’d hate it, but loved it) and Cheese & Pickle. Then, we tucked into the Mushrooms on Toast while we decided on our cut of steak. The staff were ever-so-helpful in helping us navigate the vast selection (which is written with chalk on a blackboard every day for diners to choose from). We were feeling fancy, so we chose the Sirloin, and paired it with a classic peppercorn sauce, Beef Dripping Chips, Kale & Parmesan and Heritage Summer Tomatoes. The latter sides were divine for injecting a bit of freshness.
“Alongside a few-too-many glasses of red wine, we finished our meal with cheesecake – which was brilliantly served in the dish it was created in with two spoons and a napkin. (Panic not: we had ordered the last slice. Hygiene, obviously, is considered). I left feeling fat, happy and desperate to return – and convinced I’d eaten the best steak I ever would.”
Why is it the perfect romantic restaurant? “Most of the food – from the starters to the steak – are served on boards, which makes it perfect for sharing. It’s fun to choose a cut of meat together from the blackboard, and if you get a sofa seat around the edge of the restaurant, you can sit close to eachother between courses.”
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Glamour
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In her book, “How to Not Die Alone,” Harvard-trained behavioral scientist-turned dating coach, and Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science, Logan Ury, helps readers find and keep the relationship of their dreams by making better decisions along the way.
Many of us don’t date for long-term viability. I call this pursuing The Prom Date. What’s an ideal prom date? Someone who looks great in pictures, gives you a night full of fun, and makes you look cool in front of your friends. Many of us finished high school more than a decade ago, and yet we’re still using the same rubric to evaluate potential partners. Do you really want to marry the Prom Date? To worry if your partner is going to help you take care of your aging parents? Or show up to your kid’s parent-teacher conference? Or nurse you back to health after contracting a case of Montezuma’s revenge?
Those probably aren’t the questions you ask yourself when you first meet someone. The answers have little bearing on whether you want to kiss the person or go out with them again. (And who wants to think about diarrhea on a first date!?) But when you’re looking for a long-term partner, you want someone who will be there for you during the highs and the lows. Someone you can rely on. Someone to make decisions with. The Life Partner.
There are many people with whom you can share a tryst but far fewer with whom you can build a life. When you’re thinking about who to marry, don’t ask yourself: What would a love story with this person look like? Instead, ask: Can I make a life with this person? That’s the fundamental distinction.
But you’re not seventeen anymore. If you really are seeking a long-term relationship with a committed partner, you need to stop looking for a Prom Date and start seeking a Life Partner.
In addition to coaching, I also work as a matchmaker and set my clients up on dates. As a matchmaker, I’ve met with dozens of people to learn what they’re looking for in a partner. Hundreds have filled out the matchmaking form on my website to join “Logan’s List.” Through this process, I’ve collected enough data to understand what people think matters most in a serious partner. We can compare that to what the academic field of relationship science tells us actually matters for long-term relationship success.
We can thank John Gottman for many of these relationship science insights. He spent many years studying romantic relationships. He and his colleague Robert Levenson brought couples into an observational research laboratory dubbed the “Love Lab” by the media. There, he recorded them discussing their relationship. He asked couples to share the story of how they met and then recount a recent fight. He even invited couples to spend a weekend in an apartment he’d decked out with cameras to observe how they interacted during everyday moments.
Years after they participated in the apartment study, Gottman followed up with the couples to check on their relationships. They fell into two camps: the “masters,” couples who were still happily married; and the “disasters,” couples who had either broken up or remained together unhappily. He studied the original tapes of these two types of couples to learn what patterns separated the masters from the disasters.
When we look at Gottman’s findings, and the work of other relationship scientists, we can see clearly which qualities contribute to long-term relationship success. In other words, the research tells us what makes a good Life Partner. However, these are not the traits my matchmaking clients tend to ask for. Instead, they focus on short-term desirability—or the characteristics of a good Prom Date.
Not only do we undervalue the qualities that matter for long-term relationships, we overvalue irrelevant ones. People tend to fixate on certain superficial characteristics and ignore the far more important factors that are correlated with long-term relationship happiness (more on those in a moment).
Superficial qualities like looks and money matter less for long-term relationship success than people think they do because lust fades and people adapt to their circumstances. The same goes for similar personalities and similar hobbies.
When I work with clients, I rarely hear them say their number one goal is to find someone who’s emotionally stable. Or good at making hard decisions. Sometimes they’ll mention kindness, but usually after telling me their height minimum and maximum. And yet these are all examples of qualities that relationship scientists have found contribute much more to long-term relationship success than superficial traits or shared interests.
It’s not that people don’t know that this stuff matters; rather, they just tend to underestimate the value of these attributes when deciding whom to date. (One reason is that these qualities can be hard to measure. They may be discernible only after spending time with someone. This also explains why dating apps focus on the easier-to-measure, matter-less-than-you-think traits.) If you want to find a Life Partner, look for someone with the following traits: loyalty, kindness, emotional stability, and a growth mindset. You want a person with whom you can grow, make hard decisions, and argue with constructively.
As you’ve seen, the things that matter less than we think for long-term relationship success tend to be superficial traits that are easy to discern when you first meet someone. And the things that matter more usually reveal themselves only when you’re in a relationship or have gone on at least a few dates. That’s why you have to intentionally shift your approach in order to focus on what really matters.
Excerpt from How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love by Logan Ury. Copyright © 2021 by Logan Ury. Reprinted by permission of Simon & Schuster, Inc., N.Y. All rights reserved.
Get the communication tools you need to build the relationship you always wanted. The Relationship Coach is available now on Gottman Connect.
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Logan Ury
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Imagine you’re at a family gathering and there’s that one relative who always seems to push your buttons. They’re negative and judgmental and seem to thrive on creating drama. As you feel your blood pressure rise, you can’t help but wonder—how on earth are you supposed to love someone like that?
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? We are faced with people who test our patience, challenge our kindness, and make us question our capacity for love. As Christians, we’re called to love everyone, even those who seem unlovable. But let’s be honest—it’s not always easy.
When we talk about loving the unlovable, we’re talking about mirroring God’s love for us. It’s a love that’s unconditional, unwavering, and often incomprehensible to our human minds. Think about it: God loves us not because we’re perfect, not because we’ve earned it, but simply because He chooses to.
The Apostle Paul puts it beautifully in Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates his love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Let that sink in for a moment. God’s love for us isn’t dependent on our behavior or worthiness. It’s a love that reaches us even when we’re at our worst.
This divine love sets the standard for how we’re called to love others. It’s a high bar. But here’s the thing: we’re not expected to manufacture this love. Instead, we’re invited to tap into the endless well of God’s love, allowing it to flow through us to others.
Consider the most difficult person in your life right now. How might your perspective shift if you viewed them through the lens of God’s unconditional love? What if you saw them not as an annoyance or a burden but as someone deeply loved by their Creator?
It’s a paradigm shift that doesn’t happen overnight. It requires intentionality, practice, and a whole lot of grace – both for others and ourselves. But as we grow in our understanding of God’s love for us, we become better equipped to extend that love to others, even when it’s challenging.
Here’s a truth that might sting a little: often, the traits that irritate us most in others are the very ones we struggle with ourselves. It’s like looking into a mirror and seeing our flaws reflected in us. Uncomfortable? Absolutely. But it’s also an opportunity for profound growth and self-reflection.
Jesus addresses this concept in Matthew 7:3-5, saying, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
This passage isn’t about shaming us. Instead, it’s an invitation to honest self-examination. When irritated by someone’s behavior, it can be enlightening to ask ourselves, “Have I ever acted similarly? Do I sometimes display this trait that I find annoying in others?”
For example, maybe you have a coworker who constantly complains about everything. It drives you up the wall. But if you’re honest with yourself, you might realize you’ve been pretty negative lately too. Maybe not to the same extent, but the seed of that behavior is there.
Recognizing our flaws doesn’t excuse bad behavior in others. But it does foster empathy and compassion. It reminds us that we’re all works in progress and all in need of grace. And when we extend grace to others, we create space for our growth and healing.
So the next time you find yourself frustrated with someone’s behavior, try turning that frustration into a mirror. What might it be revealing about your own heart? How can you use this insight to grow in empathy and self-awareness?
Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and try to understand their perspective, even when we don’t feel like it. And let me tell you, it can be transformative.
Think about Jesus for a moment. He was the embodiment of empathy. He didn’t just preach from a distance; he got down in the trenches with people. He ate with tax collectors and sinners, touched lepers, and spoke compassionately to those society had rejected. He understood people’s pain, their struggles, and their hopes.
In Hebrews 4:15, we’re reminded that Jesus can “empathize with our weaknesses” because He has faced the same temptations. That’s powerful stuff. It means that when we’re struggling, we have a Savior who gets and understands it too.
So how do we cultivate this kind of empathy for the difficult people in our lives? It starts with curiosity. Instead of immediately judging or dismissing someone’s behavior, we can ask ourselves: “What might be going on beneath the surface? What experiences or pain might be driving this person’s actions?”
Maybe that grumpy neighbor has been battling a chronic illness. Perhaps that critical family member grew up in a household where nothing was ever good enough. The rude customer service rep might be dealing with a personal crisis we know nothing about.
This doesn’t mean we excuse hurtful behavior. But understanding the potential ‘why’ behind someone’s actions can soften our hearts and help us respond with grace rather than frustration.
Practicing empathy also involves active listening. It means setting aside our agenda and hearing what the other person is saying—and what they’re not saying. It means being present, showing genuine interest, and responding with compassion.
Remember, empathy isn’t about fixing people or their problems. It’s about creating a safe space where people feel seen, heard, and valued. And often, that’s exactly what the ‘difficult’ people in our lives need most.
Now, here’s where things get a bit tricky. Loving the unlovable doesn’t mean becoming a doormat or enabling harmful behavior. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is set clear, firm boundaries.
Jesus, our ultimate example of love, wasn’t afraid to set boundaries. He often withdrew from crowds to pray and rest (Luke 5:16). He confronted the Pharisees when their actions were harmful (Matthew 23). He even told His disciples to shake the dust off their feet and move on when their message wasn’t received (Matthew 10:14).
Boundaries are not walls that shut people out. They’re more like fences with gates—they protect what’s important while allowing for connection. They define what’s okay and what’s not in our relationships. And when implemented with love and respect, they can strengthen our ability to love difficult people.
So what might this look like in practice? It could mean limiting the time you spend with a toxic relative. It might involve communicating your expectations to a friend who consistently cancels plans at the last minute. Or it could mean removing yourself from a situation where someone is being verbally abusive.
The key is to set boundaries with love, not anger or resentment. It’s about saying, “I care about you, AND I also need to take care of myself.” It’s about valuing the relationship while also valuing your well-being.
Setting boundaries can initially feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re not used to it. But remember, it’s not unloving to have limits. Healthy boundaries can create the safe space needed for real love and growth to flourish.
And here’s a beautiful thing: as we learn to set healthy boundaries, we often find that our capacity to love difficult people increases. We’re no longer drained by toxic interactions, so we have more energy to extend grace and compassion.
Loving the unlovable isn’t a one-time decision – it’s a journey of growth. And like any journey, it requires preparation, practice, and perseverance. This is where spiritual disciplines come into play. These practices help us cultivate a heart open to loving difficult people.
Prayer is a powerful tool in this journey. It’s not just about asking God to change the difficult person (although that’s okay too!). It’s about asking God to change our hearts. To help us see others as He sees them. To fill us with His love so we can pour it out to others.
In Matthew 5:44, Jesus gives us a challenging command: “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Praying for difficult people can be transformative. It’s hard to hold onto resentment when you’re consistently lifting someone up in prayer.
Another helpful practice is meditation on Scripture. Dwelling on passages about God’s love and forgiveness can reshape our thinking and soften our hearts. Verses like Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” – can become powerful mantras in our interactions with difficult people.
Fasting can also play a role in this journey. When we fast, we’re reminded of our dependence on God and our limitations. This humility can make us more open to extending grace to others.
Practicing gratitude is another powerful discipline. When we focus on the blessings in our lives, including the growth opportunities that difficult relationships provide, our perspective shifts. We become more aware of God’s grace in our own lives, making it easier to extend that grace to others.
Remember, these spiritual disciplines aren’t about earning God’s love or becoming “good enough” to love difficult people. They’re about positioning ourselves to receive and reflect God’s love more fully.
As we engage in these practices, we’ll likely find that loving the unlovable becomes less of a struggle and more of a natural outflow of our relationship with God. It’s a gradual process with plenty of ups and downs along the way. But each step forward is a victory worth celebrating.
I love the unlovable, challenging path, no doubt about it. It’s a challenge that goes against our instincts. It requires intentionality, perseverance, and a whole lot of grace—both for others and for ourselves.
But here’s the beautiful thing: as we step out in faith to love those who are hard to love, we open ourselves up to profound transformation. We begin to see others—and ourselves—through God’s eyes. We grow in empathy, compassion, and emotional maturity. We become living testimonies to the power of God’s love.
And who knows? Our act of extending grace might be the very thing that sparks change in a difficult person. Romans 12:20 reminds us, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” This isn’t about revenge but about the transformative power of unexpected kindness.
So, the next time you’re faced with that button-pushing relative, that irritating coworker, or that challenging neighbor, remember—this is your opportunity to reflect God’s love deeply. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Because in the end, love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8).
Let’s commit to being people who love extravagantly, who extend grace generously, and who see the image of God even in the most difficult individuals. In doing so, we not only change our relationships—we change the world, one act of love at a time.
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/imtmphoto
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Emmanuel Abimbola
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Naughtiness is the spice of relationships. The flirtation, the loaded innuendos, the teasing, they all work like secret ingredients in a magical sauce to keep a relationship fresh and alive. Every now and then, you can garnish that sauce with a generous topping of spicy questions to ask your boyfriend, and watch the flavor of romance elevate.
Whether you want to goof around with spicy questions to ask your boyfriend to make him laugh or are looking for intimate questions to ask your partner to understand his fantasies better or want to come up with naughty things to say to your bf but don’t quite know what he’d appreciate, we’ve got you covered. With this roundup of intimate questions for couples, you will never find yourself racking your brains for the right question to ask at the right moment.
Want to ask intimate questions to ask your partner but feel hesitant about how he will react? Or not sure how far you can push the envelope of sexually intimate questions for couples? The key is to start small and gradually up the ante if your boyfriend reacts favorably (trust us, he will). Allow us to help you get started with this lowdown on cute but naughty things to ask your boyfriend to build intimacy:
Related Reading: 18 Tips To Seduce Your Boyfriend And Drive Him Crazy

Laughter is like a breath of fresh air for relationships. Even in your most intimate moments, it can help you feel closer and make you feel more alive in each other’s company. So, tap into your humorous side when you want to come with the right things to say to your bf. These spicy questions to ask your boyfriend to make him laugh are a great starting point:
Related Reading: 45 Sexy, Dirty Text Messages For Your Boyfriend

Want in on the secret to a happy, healthy relationship that doesn’t feel stagnated or boring? Never stop flirting with each other. Be playful, be naughty, be carefree together, and you will never find yourself looking for ways to reignite the spark or revive your connection. To that end, here is a list of 25 flirty questions to ask your boyfriend that will never miss the mark in spicing things up:
Related Reading: 75 Cute Notes For Him That Would Surprise Your Man Everyday

Now, it’s no fun being the Miss Goody Two Shoes girlfriend all the time. You’ve got to get a little risque at times to add that extra zing to your relationship—and perhaps, throw your boyfriend off, in the process. Nothing achieves that effect like some time-tested freaky questions to ask your boyfriend:
Related Reading: 25 Most Romantic Gestures For Him

Looking for ways to kill time on a Sunday afternoon? Need a little help in getting things to progress in the right direction *wink*? Want to take Saturday night drinks with your bae to the next level? Say hello to spicy never have I ever questions:
Related Reading: 101 Meaningful Words Of Affirmation For Him That Actually Work
There you have it, a pretty neat list of spicy questions to ask your boyfriend. From freaky questions to ask your man to throw him off balance to flirty questions to ask your boyfriend to up the romance, and things to ask your boyfriend to heighten intimacy in the relationship, we’ve got something for every flavor and mood. Use them generously to heighten the spark of sexual chemistry in your relationship.
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Online dating is here to stay, sort of, maybe. A significant portion of both the US and Canada use online dating with success. And like most mass media things, it has involved with the culture. Grinder, long known as the gay hook up site paved the pathway for Tinder, known as a straight hook up site. Match.com, the largest dating app, has few filters and allows people to date who they want – gay, straight, different states, ethnicities and streaming habits.
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But for all the benefits, Gen Z is upending it again. Gen Z is moving away from dating apps and meeting people in real life. And learning it definitely different meeting someone face to face instead of gram to gram. Studies show the most popular user of dating apps are between the ages of 30 and 49, mostly millennial, make up 61% of dating app users, whereas Gen-Z comes in at only 26%.
This generation are into grandma’s china, vinyl, home cooking and vintage clothes. But they are also inclusive with 41% wanting clothing retailers to offer more inclusive sizes a range of body types in advertising. And they have a whole different take on marijuana.
Boomers tend to see marijuana in a skeptical eye. While more are starting to be open to it, it is more of a novel than say beer, wine or gardening. Gen Z sees marijuana as a better option than booze. They have started drifting away from alcohol and embracing weed. Especially in smaller groups. With vapes and gummies being more on the go, minimum odor and more discreet, it is the sound solution. A portion of Gen Z helped make California Sober a thing, which is when you just use marijuana and give up alcohol.
Match.com was the first dating site to add 4/20 friendly in November of 2019. Now it is on most mainstream sites and Gen Z sees it more like asking if you like craft cocktails. They are also are more open to a wider variety of people for short and longer term relationships.
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As Gen-Z open their minds and heart with in-person dating, they are experiencing what previous generations have long endured. They cite fear of rejection and being cringe amongst their top concerns for being online. Older generations have more experience with the discomfort of dating rejection both online and in person. Experience helps frame the rejection and rebound more easily after an awkward encounter, rather than internalizing it as “cringe” which can’t be overcome.
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Sarah Johns
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